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1
00:00:24,025 --> 00:00:26,925
♪
2
00:00:27,028 --> 00:00:30,629
Hey, you wanna do some stuff?
3
00:00:41,442 --> 00:00:44,376
We've got some serious
air miles here.
4
00:00:44,478 --> 00:00:46,145
Bahamas.
5
00:00:48,416 --> 00:00:49,515
Ooh.
6
00:00:49,617 --> 00:00:51,517
Oh my God.
7
00:00:54,588 --> 00:00:56,488
Actually, no, I need
my Good Timez folder.
8
00:00:58,859 --> 00:01:04,496
Somebody in this room is gonna
have a really good old time.
9
00:01:04,598 --> 00:01:06,865
Yes! You like that?
10
00:01:06,967 --> 00:01:08,700
You want some more? Yeah!
11
00:01:08,803 --> 00:01:09,735
Oh! Ow.
12
00:01:09,837 --> 00:01:12,104
♪ I feel it, I feel it,I feel it ♪
13
00:01:12,206 --> 00:01:13,505
Back in!
14
00:01:19,046 --> 00:01:26,652
♪
15
00:01:26,754 --> 00:01:29,755
♪ You and your body
16
00:01:29,857 --> 00:01:32,925
♪ Every singleportion
17
00:01:33,027 --> 00:01:36,829
♪ Send chills upand down your spine
18
00:01:36,931 --> 00:01:39,565
♪ Juices flowin'down your thigh
19
00:01:39,667 --> 00:01:41,366
♪ If you're horny
20
00:01:41,469 --> 00:01:43,502
♪ Let's do it
21
00:01:43,604 --> 00:01:44,770
♪ Ride it,
22
00:01:44,872 --> 00:01:46,438
♪ My pony
23
00:01:46,540 --> 00:01:49,575
♪ My saddle's waitin'
24
00:01:49,677 --> 00:01:50,576
♪ Come and ♪
25
00:01:50,678 --> 00:01:52,044
Hey, mind if I come in?
26
00:01:52,146 --> 00:01:53,412
Okay, most people
knock, but, um-
27
00:01:53,514 --> 00:01:54,413
Can I just park my
28
00:01:54,515 --> 00:01:55,414
kit-and-caboodle
right there?
29
00:01:55,516 --> 00:01:56,515
Your what?
Your uh...
30
00:01:56,617 --> 00:01:57,749
Well, actually, I don't
have a place to put it
31
00:01:57,852 --> 00:01:58,851
'cause I don't
have an office
32
00:01:58,953 --> 00:02:00,219
and I need my hands free
to touch myself, stuff.
33
00:02:00,321 --> 00:02:01,420
Ooh, I don't
think that-
34
00:02:01,522 --> 00:02:02,554
Don't worry. It doesn't
make you feel uncomfortable
35
00:02:02,656 --> 00:02:04,156
because you are
my therapist.
36
00:02:04,258 --> 00:02:05,190
HR, actually.
37
00:02:05,292 --> 00:02:06,558
Well, there's an "H"
and an "R" in therapy,
38
00:02:06,660 --> 00:02:08,227
so basically you
are my therapist.
39
00:02:08,329 --> 00:02:09,561
Anyway, Mo, suddenly
it's like Shazam!
40
00:02:09,663 --> 00:02:10,562
All I can thinkabout is sex.
41
00:02:10,664 --> 00:02:11,930
It's new for me.
42
00:02:12,032 --> 00:02:12,998
I could hump
anything, Mo.
43
00:02:13,100 --> 00:02:14,433
And I mean,
like, anything.
44
00:02:14,535 --> 00:02:17,169
Oh my God, look at
the curve on that...
45
00:02:19,473 --> 00:02:21,573
Oh my God,I'm so horny.
46
00:02:21,675 --> 00:02:22,608
Oh God.
47
00:02:22,710 --> 00:02:24,009
Okay Kris, I'm gonna
have to ask you to go.
48
00:02:24,111 --> 00:02:25,177
I have a lot of work to do.
49
00:02:25,279 --> 00:02:27,012
No!
50
00:02:27,114 --> 00:02:28,013
Please go.
51
00:02:28,115 --> 00:02:29,014
I'm going.
- Just go, please.
52
00:02:29,116 --> 00:02:30,182
Yeah, I'm going.
- Please go.
53
00:02:31,285 --> 00:02:32,417
That's one big ball.
54
00:02:37,725 --> 00:02:40,259
Evan, Kris and I
choose the guests.
55
00:02:40,361 --> 00:02:43,162
Yes, and I let you do
that the first two times,
56
00:02:43,264 --> 00:02:44,897
but the show
needs sex appeal.
57
00:02:44,999 --> 00:02:47,299
It just needs to be
sexier, all right?
58
00:02:47,401 --> 00:02:48,667
You've heard of Dr. Connors?
59
00:02:48,769 --> 00:02:51,837
She writes a syndicated column,"The Doctor Is Into It."
60
00:02:51,939 --> 00:02:53,639
Oh yeah,
I read that book.
61
00:02:53,741 --> 00:02:54,740
- I really like it.
- Uh-huh.
62
00:02:54,842 --> 00:02:55,741
Uh, Kris?
- Yeah.
63
00:02:55,843 --> 00:02:57,242
Let's put that down.
- Okay.
64
00:02:57,344 --> 00:02:59,444
Dr. Connors' new book
is on The New York Times
65
00:02:59,547 --> 00:03:01,580
Best Seller list.
66
00:03:01,682 --> 00:03:03,582
It is huge that
I got her.
67
00:03:03,684 --> 00:03:04,850
She knows everything
68
00:03:04,952 --> 00:03:06,218
about straight
people sex.
69
00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:07,219
Everything?
70
00:03:10,157 --> 00:03:11,223
Okay, Evan.
71
00:03:11,325 --> 00:03:14,059
We'll take your
guest this time.
72
00:03:14,161 --> 00:03:15,227
See? It's all
I wanted,
73
00:03:15,329 --> 00:03:16,461
just tit
for tat.
74
00:03:16,564 --> 00:03:18,063
I like sex.
75
00:03:18,165 --> 00:03:19,665
I like it.
76
00:03:20,834 --> 00:03:22,000
Do I need to throw a
bucket of water on you?
77
00:03:22,102 --> 00:03:23,635
What's going on?
78
00:03:25,773 --> 00:03:27,072
I think a sex episode
has potential
79
00:03:27,174 --> 00:03:28,173
to reach a lot of women.
80
00:03:28,275 --> 00:03:29,274
Oh my gosh, I agree.
81
00:03:29,376 --> 00:03:30,642
Like some women are
losing their mojo
82
00:03:30,744 --> 00:03:31,643
and that is not acceptable.
83
00:03:31,745 --> 00:03:33,612
And I think they would
love some advice
84
00:03:33,714 --> 00:03:35,514
on how to get that back.
85
00:03:35,616 --> 00:03:38,150
Listen, I know women in their
40s who are so wildly horny
86
00:03:38,252 --> 00:03:39,885
they may pass out,
possibly die,
87
00:03:39,987 --> 00:03:41,787
if they are not
penetrated immediately.
88
00:03:41,889 --> 00:03:44,289
I think that they could
use professional help.
89
00:03:44,391 --> 00:03:46,491
These women don't
need professionals.
90
00:03:46,594 --> 00:03:47,893
They just need dating apps.
91
00:03:47,995 --> 00:03:49,127
What?
92
00:03:49,230 --> 00:03:50,729
Here, see this guy here?
93
00:03:50,831 --> 00:03:51,897
So he's like,
"Hey, what's up?"
94
00:03:51,999 --> 00:03:52,965
I'm like,
"Not much. You?"
95
00:03:53,067 --> 00:03:54,066
He's like,
"Going to the gym."
96
00:03:54,168 --> 00:03:56,301
And then I go in with
a lowercase, "wow."
97
00:03:56,403 --> 00:03:57,469
And then what?
98
00:03:57,571 --> 00:03:58,904
Twenty minutes later I'm at
the gym getting it done.
99
00:03:59,006 --> 00:04:00,072
What if you don't
have a gym membership?
100
00:04:00,174 --> 00:04:01,573
I think we all need to
be a little bit more open
101
00:04:01,675 --> 00:04:02,574
about sex, you know?
102
00:04:02,676 --> 00:04:03,609
That's how I am
with my partners.
103
00:04:03,711 --> 00:04:04,743
Partners. Plural?
104
00:04:04,845 --> 00:04:06,044
Yeah, I'm poly.
105
00:04:06,146 --> 00:04:08,747
Oh, wow. I think, you know,
some women are finding it hard
106
00:04:08,849 --> 00:04:10,249
to ramp themselves
up for one person,
107
00:04:10,351 --> 00:04:11,683
let alone a squad.
108
00:04:11,785 --> 00:04:14,286
Oh, yeah, I get that
even with the 'cule'.
109
00:04:14,388 --> 00:04:15,287
The...
- Polycule.
110
00:04:15,389 --> 00:04:16,555
Oh.
111
00:04:16,657 --> 00:04:18,890
Yeah, you know, it's the same
ol', same ol', ah, boring.
112
00:04:18,993 --> 00:04:20,626
You know, that's why you gotta
mix things up a little bit,
113
00:04:20,728 --> 00:04:21,793
do something different.
114
00:04:21,895 --> 00:04:23,695
Yeah, you could try
rope-play, role-play.
115
00:04:23,797 --> 00:04:24,696
Ooh, voyeurism.
116
00:04:24,798 --> 00:04:26,498
You're like, who's in there?
117
00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:27,833
Or you can just
go to a sex shop.
118
00:04:27,935 --> 00:04:30,502
Hmm. Yeah, a sex shop.
119
00:04:30,604 --> 00:04:31,570
Yeah, that's it.
120
00:04:31,672 --> 00:04:33,005
That would be great
research for the episode.
121
00:04:33,107 --> 00:04:34,506
Yup. Yes.
122
00:04:34,608 --> 00:04:35,707
A sex shop.
123
00:04:37,244 --> 00:04:38,644
Oh my God, Julie.
124
00:04:38,746 --> 00:04:41,146
I'm in dong heaven.
- Okay.
125
00:04:41,248 --> 00:04:42,514
I might pass out.
126
00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:44,816
Well why don't you dive
into that dong heaven
127
00:04:44,918 --> 00:04:47,352
and I will research
over here alone.
128
00:04:47,454 --> 00:04:49,354
Okay, I'm blinded.
You blinded me.
129
00:04:50,858 --> 00:04:52,391
Do, do you serve water?
130
00:04:52,493 --> 00:04:53,959
All you and all of me.
131
00:04:54,061 --> 00:04:55,193
This is great.
132
00:04:55,296 --> 00:04:56,295
And I like you and you like me.
133
00:04:56,397 --> 00:04:57,496
Here we go.
134
00:04:57,598 --> 00:05:00,365
You get a dong and you get
a dong and you get a dong.
135
00:05:00,467 --> 00:05:01,300
And you get a dong.
136
00:05:01,402 --> 00:05:02,301
Nice to meet you.
137
00:05:02,403 --> 00:05:03,902
I'm the gold at the
end of a rainbow.
138
00:05:04,004 --> 00:05:05,304
I'm gonna kiss you,
I won't, I won't touch it.
139
00:05:05,406 --> 00:05:06,305
I didn't touch them.
140
00:05:06,407 --> 00:05:08,307
Dong da da dong da
da da da da da dong.
141
00:05:08,409 --> 00:05:09,675
Br-iiiing.
142
00:05:09,777 --> 00:05:10,709
Dongs!
143
00:05:10,811 --> 00:05:13,011
Hi. Are you looking for lube?
144
00:05:13,113 --> 00:05:14,713
We have a lot of great options.
145
00:05:14,815 --> 00:05:15,714
I'm just browsing.
146
00:05:15,816 --> 00:05:17,349
I do not need lube.
147
00:05:20,287 --> 00:05:22,554
Oh, you really cannot go
wrong with anal beads.
148
00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:23,722
Yes, I'm sure I could.
149
00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:26,558
I can't even get the cord
on my vacuum to retract.
150
00:05:30,464 --> 00:05:33,365
Oh, you'll definitely
need lube for that.
151
00:05:33,467 --> 00:05:34,966
I prefer to browse solo.
152
00:05:36,170 --> 00:05:37,069
Okay.
153
00:05:39,673 --> 00:05:41,106
Oh my gosh.
154
00:05:41,208 --> 00:05:43,375
Sharon, my best friend
from the doctor's office.
155
00:05:43,477 --> 00:05:44,776
Oh, please tell me that
you're not calling
156
00:05:44,878 --> 00:05:46,278
to cancel my appointment.
157
00:05:46,380 --> 00:05:48,380
Not cancelling. Just moving.
158
00:05:48,482 --> 00:05:51,783
Doctor Kent is out of office
for a pharmaceutical luncheon.
159
00:05:51,885 --> 00:05:53,185
How's next Wednesday?
160
00:05:53,287 --> 00:05:56,288
Yeah, I mean, well I,
161
00:05:56,390 --> 00:05:57,356
I guess I don't
really have a choice.
162
00:05:57,458 --> 00:05:58,990
Do I? Do I? I...
163
00:05:59,960 --> 00:06:02,561
Yes, that would be great.
164
00:06:05,899 --> 00:06:07,366
How you like me now, Michael?
165
00:06:07,468 --> 00:06:09,601
Am I suddenly more promotable?
166
00:06:09,703 --> 00:06:11,970
Ooh, look at me, I'm Michael.
167
00:06:12,072 --> 00:06:14,206
I like marketing
and failing upward.
168
00:06:14,308 --> 00:06:15,440
Well, you know what, Michael?
169
00:06:15,542 --> 00:06:17,776
Watch my shatter that glass
ceiling with my lady dick.
170
00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:19,778
Pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew!
171
00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:20,779
'Cause you know what Michael?
172
00:06:20,881 --> 00:06:21,813
I don't give a fuck.
173
00:06:21,915 --> 00:06:23,448
I got no fucks left to...
174
00:06:26,086 --> 00:06:27,819
My fucks are finite.
175
00:06:29,923 --> 00:06:31,823
I have a finite
amount of fucks.
176
00:06:42,302 --> 00:06:44,836
Kris, can I see you inthe change room, please?
177
00:06:44,938 --> 00:06:45,837
Julie?
178
00:06:45,939 --> 00:06:47,472
I need your help.
179
00:06:49,943 --> 00:06:50,842
Hello. Hello.
180
00:06:50,944 --> 00:06:51,977
Absolutely no
judgement at all.
181
00:06:52,079 --> 00:06:54,646
I think you're fine,
but how does that happen?
182
00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:56,281
Okay, well, I-I-I
tried to push it down
183
00:06:56,383 --> 00:06:57,349
and that didn't work
184
00:06:57,451 --> 00:06:58,717
and then I thought well,
maybe if I pull it up.
185
00:06:58,819 --> 00:07:00,585
That really didn't work
and now I'm trapped.
186
00:07:00,687 --> 00:07:02,187
Okay, it's fine. It's fine.
187
00:07:02,289 --> 00:07:03,822
Why don't you turn around?
You turn around.
188
00:07:03,924 --> 00:07:04,823
Okay, here we go.
189
00:07:04,925 --> 00:07:06,258
I get that.
- Okay.
190
00:07:06,360 --> 00:07:07,826
This is my husband.
He's all right.
191
00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:09,194
You'd hit that?
192
00:07:09,296 --> 00:07:10,262
Is that a trick question,
193
00:07:10,364 --> 00:07:11,630
'cause I'd hit
anything right now.
194
00:07:11,732 --> 00:07:12,831
I could have hit
that last night,
195
00:07:12,933 --> 00:07:15,167
but I didn't,
so that's one F wasted.
196
00:07:15,269 --> 00:07:17,002
I am running out
of sexual road.
197
00:07:17,871 --> 00:07:19,304
My gosh, Julie.
- What?
198
00:07:19,406 --> 00:07:21,640
Is that one of those
symptoms of menopause?
199
00:07:21,742 --> 00:07:22,841
Mm-hmm.
200
00:07:22,943 --> 00:07:24,643
Oh my God. Kris!
201
00:07:24,745 --> 00:07:25,644
Not now!
202
00:07:25,746 --> 00:07:27,179
Oh my God!
- Just get it off me!
203
00:07:28,949 --> 00:07:30,849
Okay, but this guy
is really relentless!
204
00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:31,850
Okay, focus!
205
00:07:31,952 --> 00:07:33,018
I am focused.
206
00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:34,553
I am really focused.
207
00:07:34,655 --> 00:07:36,855
This is very
hard for me right now
208
00:07:36,957 --> 00:07:38,089
because I'm kind of turned on.
209
00:07:38,192 --> 00:07:40,091
I'm just gonna sit
here for a second.
210
00:07:40,194 --> 00:07:43,995
So your total
today is $1,200.
211
00:07:44,097 --> 00:07:45,664
Do you have a,
uh, payment plan?
212
00:07:45,766 --> 00:07:46,832
No.
213
00:07:46,934 --> 00:07:50,035
Good. What can I get for this?
214
00:07:50,137 --> 00:07:52,103
Oh, also a dime.
215
00:07:55,008 --> 00:07:56,007
Oh my gosh. Good.
216
00:07:56,109 --> 00:07:57,008
Perfect. Discreet.
217
00:07:57,110 --> 00:07:58,743
It's subtle,
vulnerable, like me.
218
00:07:58,846 --> 00:08:00,512
Thank you. Amazing.
219
00:08:00,614 --> 00:08:02,647
Just so you know, we do
have a strict store policy.
220
00:08:02,749 --> 00:08:04,382
You try it, you buy it.
221
00:08:13,193 --> 00:08:15,427
Shiiitt.
222
00:08:15,529 --> 00:08:17,062
Oh my God!
223
00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:25,704
Okay, okay.It's okay. It's okay.
224
00:08:25,806 --> 00:08:26,905
It'll be fine.
225
00:08:28,442 --> 00:08:30,509
That's a UTI
waiting to happen.
226
00:08:32,613 --> 00:08:33,712
Ugh.
227
00:08:33,814 --> 00:08:35,914
Oh my God.
228
00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:41,753
What are ya doing?
229
00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:45,156
Where, what are you doing?
230
00:08:45,259 --> 00:08:46,558
What do you think?
231
00:08:46,660 --> 00:08:48,560
Are you okay?
232
00:08:48,662 --> 00:08:50,161
Pshht. Am I okay?
233
00:08:50,264 --> 00:08:51,730
Well...
234
00:08:51,832 --> 00:08:53,331
I just think that...
235
00:08:54,601 --> 00:08:55,967
Could you help me set
up a dating profile?
236
00:08:56,069 --> 00:08:57,302
And by help,
I mean do it for me.
237
00:08:57,404 --> 00:08:59,771
Oh my God, gimme your phone.
Yep, this is what I live for.
238
00:09:07,381 --> 00:09:09,114
Oh, Oliver, hurry up.
Your ride's here.
239
00:09:09,216 --> 00:09:10,515
I can't find my
new shin guards!
240
00:09:10,617 --> 00:09:11,516
Oh, um-
241
00:09:11,618 --> 00:09:13,351
They're in a bag on the table.
242
00:09:16,590 --> 00:09:17,589
You're welcome.
243
00:09:17,691 --> 00:09:18,657
I love you.
244
00:09:18,759 --> 00:09:19,758
We are outta coffee.
245
00:09:19,860 --> 00:09:20,959
I'm gonna run to the store.
You want anything?
246
00:09:21,061 --> 00:09:24,129
Actually, I was thinking
that we could hang out here.
247
00:09:24,231 --> 00:09:26,965
Maybe, um, do some stuff?
248
00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:28,567
Oh yeah?
- Mm-hmm.
249
00:09:28,669 --> 00:09:29,968
Really?
- Mm-hmm.
250
00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:30,969
Okay.
- Okay.
251
00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:33,972
Come on.
- Oh. Hmm.
252
00:09:34,074 --> 00:09:35,273
Actually.
253
00:09:35,375 --> 00:09:36,841
Oh, what are you doing?
254
00:09:36,944 --> 00:09:40,445
I am exploring
my finite fucks.
255
00:09:40,547 --> 00:09:41,580
I have some plans for you.
256
00:09:41,682 --> 00:09:42,647
Tell me all about them.
257
00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:44,416
Oh, I'm going to
in great detail.
258
00:09:44,518 --> 00:09:45,750
- Oh, I , sorry.
- Oh, no, what?
259
00:09:45,852 --> 00:09:46,985
No, there's something
poking me in the back.
260
00:09:47,087 --> 00:09:48,620
Oh, okay.
- Don't go anywhere.
261
00:09:48,722 --> 00:09:50,188
Oh my God, look.
262
00:09:50,290 --> 00:09:51,323
Oliver's shin guards.
263
00:09:52,559 --> 00:09:54,626
- Oh no.
- What?
264
00:09:54,728 --> 00:09:56,127
Oh, no, no.
265
00:09:56,697 --> 00:09:58,229
Oh, no, no!
266
00:09:58,332 --> 00:09:59,230
Oh my God, Pete.
267
00:09:59,333 --> 00:10:00,365
Pete, you have
to get in the car
268
00:10:00,467 --> 00:10:01,700
and you have to go and
get Oliver right now!
269
00:10:01,802 --> 00:10:02,701
What is going on?
270
00:10:02,803 --> 00:10:03,802
There's no time to explain!
271
00:10:03,904 --> 00:10:05,537
I just, I need you to get
that bag back right now,
272
00:10:05,639 --> 00:10:07,672
or we are gonna have to do some
really high-level parenting
273
00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:09,207
in about an hour!
274
00:10:11,144 --> 00:10:12,544
Oh, wow.
275
00:10:13,580 --> 00:10:14,646
I can't believe
you're almost fifty.
276
00:10:14,748 --> 00:10:16,047
You look good for your age.
277
00:10:16,149 --> 00:10:17,682
Well, thank you.
278
00:10:17,784 --> 00:10:18,817
Oh, you're welcome.
279
00:10:20,153 --> 00:10:21,720
You know what? Just, here.
280
00:10:21,822 --> 00:10:23,755
- Like, I'm gonna.
- Oh yeah.
281
00:10:23,857 --> 00:10:24,789
Oh, that's good. Yeah.
282
00:10:24,891 --> 00:10:26,124
That's supposed to
be a sexy move.
283
00:10:26,226 --> 00:10:27,726
We're gonna have sex.
284
00:10:27,828 --> 00:10:29,227
To the floor.
- Okay.
285
00:10:30,330 --> 00:10:31,296
There, is that a
splinter in there?
286
00:10:31,398 --> 00:10:32,297
Uh....
287
00:10:32,399 --> 00:10:33,365
You know what?
Save that for later.
288
00:10:33,467 --> 00:10:34,966
Oh, you look like a pirate.
289
00:10:36,403 --> 00:10:37,702
Argh.
290
00:10:37,804 --> 00:10:39,304
That's my hook.
291
00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:41,106
There you go. Try again.
292
00:10:41,208 --> 00:10:43,074
Oh, you're
heavier than you look.
293
00:10:43,176 --> 00:10:44,609
I think you're supposed
to be around this area
294
00:10:44,711 --> 00:10:45,710
is where you're gonna go.
295
00:10:45,812 --> 00:10:46,911
Whoop, oh no, whoop!
- I'm sorry.
296
00:10:47,014 --> 00:10:48,113
What's going on?
297
00:10:48,215 --> 00:10:51,049
You're like a gargoyle
with better skincare.
298
00:10:51,151 --> 00:10:53,618
Grab it while it's hot.
Grab it while it's hot.
299
00:10:53,720 --> 00:10:55,420
I'm gonna come right into
that meat and two veg.
300
00:10:55,522 --> 00:10:56,454
Get in here.
301
00:10:56,556 --> 00:10:57,856
Okay, count me in Jet Man.
302
00:10:57,958 --> 00:10:59,758
Three, two, one.
303
00:11:01,194 --> 00:11:02,093
Aye aye!
304
00:11:02,195 --> 00:11:03,695
Chips ahoy, mate.
305
00:11:05,666 --> 00:11:07,399
No one wants to fuck
a seagull, buddy.
306
00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:16,441
Please God, not now.
307
00:11:16,543 --> 00:11:17,942
What?
- Nothing.
308
00:11:23,817 --> 00:11:25,116
Let's play a game.
309
00:11:25,218 --> 00:11:26,718
Cover your eyes.
- I love games.
310
00:11:26,820 --> 00:11:28,119
Oh good! I love games.
311
00:11:28,221 --> 00:11:29,354
And you're great.
312
00:11:29,456 --> 00:11:31,523
Okay, um, I need you to,
you know, get off the bed.
313
00:11:31,625 --> 00:11:34,492
Keep them covered.
No peeking! Okay?
314
00:11:34,594 --> 00:11:36,661
Yeah, and then you,
and then you face the wall.
315
00:11:36,763 --> 00:11:38,263
Go! Go, that's it, just-
316
00:11:38,365 --> 00:11:39,864
This is hot.
317
00:11:42,269 --> 00:11:44,536
Okay, no peeking, no peeking!
318
00:11:57,884 --> 00:11:59,551
Pilot from the flight deck.
319
00:11:59,653 --> 00:12:01,119
Where are you?
320
00:12:03,256 --> 00:12:04,789
I'm coming to find ya.
321
00:12:08,929 --> 00:12:10,328
Ah!
322
00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:12,764
Did I just slip in?
323
00:12:12,866 --> 00:12:13,965
Yeah.
324
00:12:18,371 --> 00:12:21,773
Okay, uh, so when, uh, two
people love each other...
325
00:12:21,875 --> 00:12:22,874
although, yeah, to be honest,
326
00:12:22,976 --> 00:12:24,442
you don't have to be in
love with each other,
327
00:12:24,544 --> 00:12:25,777
it's kind of a
misogynistic construct-
328
00:12:25,879 --> 00:12:26,978
Mom, oh my God.
329
00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:29,614
Good note. Um, okay.
330
00:12:29,716 --> 00:12:32,784
Um, sometimes people
like to try new things
331
00:12:32,886 --> 00:12:34,152
and-and that means toys.
332
00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:37,422
Toys.
- Just a fun little toy.
333
00:12:37,524 --> 00:12:39,724
It's true. Listen to
your mother, alright.
334
00:12:39,826 --> 00:12:41,693
Lots of people
like using toys.
335
00:12:41,795 --> 00:12:43,661
You like using this?!
336
00:12:43,764 --> 00:12:44,662
Sure.
337
00:12:44,765 --> 00:12:45,764
It's no big deal, honestly.
338
00:12:45,866 --> 00:12:46,931
You'll see that one...
339
00:12:47,033 --> 00:12:48,399
Oh Lord,
love a duck.
340
00:12:48,502 --> 00:12:50,335
This is the fun little toy?
341
00:12:50,437 --> 00:12:52,504
Why can you just be like
everyone else's parents
342
00:12:52,606 --> 00:12:53,505
and fight all the time?
343
00:12:53,607 --> 00:12:54,739
Hey, listen,
344
00:12:54,841 --> 00:12:56,374
you should be happy
that your mother and I
345
00:12:56,476 --> 00:12:57,375
are having sex, alright?
346
00:12:57,477 --> 00:12:59,077
It is part of a
healthy relationship.
347
00:12:59,179 --> 00:13:01,179
Yeah, yeah, we have a lot of
sexual road left ahead of us.
348
00:13:01,281 --> 00:13:02,180
Yes.
- And you know,
349
00:13:02,282 --> 00:13:03,715
we're gonna drive it hard.
350
00:13:03,817 --> 00:13:05,116
Oh, you know what?
- Somebody kill me.
351
00:13:05,218 --> 00:13:06,785
No, it's fine, it did the
same thing in the shop.
352
00:13:06,887 --> 00:13:09,387
Okay, I can't, is that the
off switch or the speed?
353
00:13:09,489 --> 00:13:10,922
It's the speed,
'cause it still on.
354
00:13:11,024 --> 00:13:11,923
Well, it's hard to see.
355
00:13:12,025 --> 00:13:13,258
Oli, can you get
my reading glasses?
356
00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:15,760
Oh my God, Mom,
you're ruining my life!
357
00:13:21,501 --> 00:13:22,901
Hmm.
358
00:13:24,104 --> 00:13:25,036
Morning, Kris.
359
00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:26,404
Morning!
360
00:13:26,506 --> 00:13:28,006
How was your night?
361
00:13:28,108 --> 00:13:30,842
Uh, yeah, it was um...
362
00:13:32,345 --> 00:13:34,712
Well, I guess I can talk to you
'cause you're my therapist, so.
363
00:13:34,815 --> 00:13:36,181
Uh, no, HR.
- Like therapy.
364
00:13:36,283 --> 00:13:37,682
Still HR.
365
00:13:38,652 --> 00:13:40,051
Well...
366
00:13:41,388 --> 00:13:44,022
I had my first date,
uh, in eight years.
367
00:13:45,559 --> 00:13:47,192
How'd that go?
368
00:13:47,294 --> 00:13:49,194
He said I was brave
because my teeth overlapped
369
00:13:49,296 --> 00:13:51,062
and then I got my
period out of nowhere.
370
00:13:51,164 --> 00:13:52,397
But it wasn't just any period,
371
00:13:52,499 --> 00:13:54,499
it was like 20 water balloonsbursting all at once.
372
00:13:54,601 --> 00:13:55,500
Except they weren't
filled with water,
373
00:13:55,602 --> 00:13:56,501
they were filled with blood,
374
00:13:56,603 --> 00:13:57,669
but all different
textures of blood.
375
00:13:57,771 --> 00:13:59,070
It was kind of like,
"What's that? Oh my God.
376
00:13:59,172 --> 00:14:00,538
"Is that like a
chicken's liver?
377
00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:03,007
"Or is that just like a skipping
rope and coffee grounds?"
378
00:14:03,109 --> 00:14:05,410
Just like.
379
00:14:05,512 --> 00:14:07,445
And then he slipped in it
and then I cried at the sink.
380
00:14:07,547 --> 00:14:09,080
So how do you think it went?
381
00:14:12,953 --> 00:14:14,052
Sorry.
382
00:14:16,356 --> 00:14:17,889
Hello?
383
00:14:17,991 --> 00:14:19,724
We're gonna need to changeyour appointment again.
384
00:14:19,826 --> 00:14:22,694
Dr. Kent is on vacation
for two weeks.
385
00:14:22,796 --> 00:14:24,028
How's two Fridays from now?
386
00:14:24,130 --> 00:14:26,264
Uh, yes, I'm free,
but I.
387
00:14:26,366 --> 00:14:27,899
Have a good day.
388
00:14:29,002 --> 00:14:30,935
So just to circle back:
no second date?
389
00:14:32,572 --> 00:14:33,471
No.
390
00:14:33,573 --> 00:14:35,039
Huh.
391
00:14:36,977 --> 00:14:38,910
Ah, aggressively insensitive,
392
00:14:39,012 --> 00:14:40,879
but no, getting
cancelled is hard, right?
393
00:14:40,981 --> 00:14:44,315
Let's keep it out there for ourBall Pit, co-host Billy H.
394
00:14:44,417 --> 00:14:45,516
Uh, moving on.
395
00:14:45,619 --> 00:14:47,752
No!
396
00:14:47,854 --> 00:14:49,320
Oh, okay. So we're
not moving on?
397
00:14:49,422 --> 00:14:50,321
Um, we are moving on.
398
00:14:50,423 --> 00:14:51,556
We're moving right along.
399
00:14:51,658 --> 00:14:52,790
And I just would like to say
400
00:14:52,893 --> 00:14:55,260
that I find your passion
for marketing so moving.
401
00:14:56,363 --> 00:14:58,796
Thank you. Um, good.
402
00:14:58,899 --> 00:15:00,365
What happened?
403
00:15:00,467 --> 00:15:01,699
Our main focus today is ourcurrent marketing strategies
404
00:15:01,801 --> 00:15:02,700
and how they meet up with...
405
00:15:02,802 --> 00:15:04,702
I had awful sex last night,
just awful.
406
00:15:06,573 --> 00:15:07,872
And then he sent me this.
407
00:15:07,974 --> 00:15:09,374
No!
408
00:15:11,878 --> 00:15:13,978
Stopping you, Evan.
409
00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:15,513
You're a machine.
410
00:15:15,615 --> 00:15:19,250
Great. Just as I was
saying.
411
00:15:19,352 --> 00:15:20,852
What did you do to
that guy's sheets?
412
00:15:20,954 --> 00:15:22,320
Did you ever see the movie,
"There Will Be Blood?"
413
00:15:22,422 --> 00:15:23,521
Yeah.
-Yeah.
414
00:15:23,623 --> 00:15:25,256
Oh!
- Yeah.
415
00:15:25,358 --> 00:15:27,325
Oh God, I'm sorry.
416
00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:28,760
Oh, if it makes you
feel any better,
417
00:15:28,862 --> 00:15:30,528
I had an awful night too.
418
00:15:30,630 --> 00:15:32,764
Not only did my sex
toy not turn me on,
419
00:15:32,866 --> 00:15:35,333
it totally
traumatized my family.
420
00:15:35,435 --> 00:15:36,334
I didn't get any sleep,
421
00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:37,702
I was up all night Googling.
422
00:15:37,804 --> 00:15:39,337
Turns out, you were right.
423
00:15:39,439 --> 00:15:41,339
Low libido is a
symptom of menopause.
424
00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:44,542
It's just, I don't have $400.
425
00:15:44,644 --> 00:15:46,144
There's no way you should
pay for that guy's sheets.
426
00:15:46,246 --> 00:15:48,479
How much did you pay
for your nail set,
427
00:15:48,581 --> 00:15:50,481
your nails, your bikini wax,
428
00:15:50,583 --> 00:15:51,749
your Uber over there?
429
00:15:51,851 --> 00:15:53,918
To be fair, I'm full
old-school down there
430
00:15:54,020 --> 00:15:54,953
and totally proud.
431
00:15:55,055 --> 00:15:55,987
But yeah, between my Spanx,
432
00:15:56,089 --> 00:15:57,422
my k-tape and my
nipple covers,
433
00:15:57,524 --> 00:15:58,523
you know, I think he owes me.
434
00:15:58,625 --> 00:16:00,024
Yes!
435
00:16:00,794 --> 00:16:01,826
Yes.
- So inspiring.
436
00:16:01,928 --> 00:16:03,328
Feeling your work today.
437
00:16:03,430 --> 00:16:05,964
- Our leader. Yeah.- Yeah!
438
00:16:06,066 --> 00:16:07,098
Evan.
439
00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:09,133
Evan!
440
00:16:11,271 --> 00:16:12,670
You know what?I've been thinking.
441
00:16:12,772 --> 00:16:13,671
We should just turn around.
442
00:16:13,773 --> 00:16:14,739
I'm gonna write him an email.
443
00:16:14,841 --> 00:16:16,107
We could go grab a donut.
That would be great.
444
00:16:16,209 --> 00:16:17,342
Nope. Nope
- Let's do that, please.
445
00:16:17,444 --> 00:16:18,343
Call him now.
- Please.
446
00:16:18,445 --> 00:16:19,377
No.
- Oh my God.
447
00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:20,845
Get your donuts afterwards.
Call him now.
448
00:16:20,947 --> 00:16:22,013
Oh God. I don't want to.
449
00:16:22,115 --> 00:16:23,481
Are we gonna do this?
- Yeah, you're gonna do it.
450
00:16:23,583 --> 00:16:25,316
Oh my God. Here we are.
We're doing it. Ah!
451
00:16:26,419 --> 00:16:27,986
- Hello?
- Hello?
452
00:16:28,088 --> 00:16:28,987
Sexier.
453
00:16:29,089 --> 00:16:29,988
Hello.
454
00:16:30,090 --> 00:16:30,989
Hmm, throw it away.
455
00:16:31,091 --> 00:16:32,991
Okay, no, we are
not doing this.
456
00:16:33,093 --> 00:16:34,225
Hi, uh, it's me Kris.
457
00:16:34,327 --> 00:16:35,493
I'm here with the
money for the sheets.
458
00:16:35,595 --> 00:16:36,828
Be right down.
459
00:16:36,930 --> 00:16:37,862
Okay.
460
00:16:37,964 --> 00:16:39,330
Okay. Okay.
461
00:16:39,432 --> 00:16:40,765
You got this. Be cool.
462
00:16:40,867 --> 00:16:42,400
Stay angry. Get in there.
463
00:16:42,502 --> 00:16:43,401
Actually,
you know what?
464
00:16:43,503 --> 00:16:44,602
He's the one that
got right in here.
465
00:16:44,704 --> 00:16:45,703
Nope, nope, nope, focus.
466
00:16:45,805 --> 00:16:47,105
Except for that one time
when I was like bah-
467
00:16:47,207 --> 00:16:48,573
Focus!
- Focus.
468
00:16:48,675 --> 00:16:51,642
Okay, you know what?
I need you to stay close though.
469
00:16:51,745 --> 00:16:52,944
Stay within touching distance.
470
00:16:53,046 --> 00:16:54,445
We might wanna hold hands.
471
00:16:54,547 --> 00:16:55,813
Hmm, we're not gonna
wanna hold hands.
472
00:16:55,915 --> 00:16:56,848
We might.
- No.
473
00:16:56,950 --> 00:16:57,882
We might.
- No.
474
00:16:57,984 --> 00:16:59,851
Here he comes. Oh my
gosh. Here he comes. Ah.
475
00:17:01,287 --> 00:17:02,387
Hey.
- Hi.
476
00:17:02,489 --> 00:17:03,988
I-I just wanted to say to
you that I don't appreciate
477
00:17:04,090 --> 00:17:05,323
the way that you spoke
to me the other night
478
00:17:05,425 --> 00:17:08,693
saying that I was lucky, uh,
that I could use my forehead
479
00:17:08,795 --> 00:17:10,495
as an extra parking space.
480
00:17:10,597 --> 00:17:12,196
He said that?
481
00:17:12,298 --> 00:17:13,431
Do you know her?
482
00:17:13,533 --> 00:17:15,433
No, I don't. That is just a
woman who speaks too loud.
483
00:17:15,535 --> 00:17:16,834
Listen, I reallyappreciate that
484
00:17:16,936 --> 00:17:19,771
somehow you have
managed to have twelve abs
485
00:17:19,873 --> 00:17:21,906
and then you just have
like a really nice package
486
00:17:22,008 --> 00:17:23,341
that I would hop
on my 10 speed
487
00:17:23,443 --> 00:17:25,877
and drive to any city
to pick up that package.
488
00:17:25,979 --> 00:17:27,879
But no, I'm gonna focus.
489
00:17:27,981 --> 00:17:29,313
And that is not
why we are here.
490
00:17:29,416 --> 00:17:33,451
No, uh, you're here to drop off
some sheets or gimme my money?
491
00:17:33,553 --> 00:17:34,752
Asshole.
492
00:17:34,854 --> 00:17:35,987
Asshole. Listen.
493
00:17:36,089 --> 00:17:37,422
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
494
00:17:37,524 --> 00:17:39,123
Do you have any idea
how vulnerable it is
495
00:17:39,225 --> 00:17:40,958
to put yourself out
there and have sex
496
00:17:41,061 --> 00:17:42,960
when you're my age
and you have no idea
497
00:17:43,063 --> 00:17:44,062
what your body's gonna do?
498
00:17:44,164 --> 00:17:45,630
It's terrifying.
- It is terrifying!
499
00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:46,731
Seriously, who is that?
500
00:17:46,833 --> 00:17:48,066
It doesn't matter.
The point is you're a dick.
501
00:17:48,168 --> 00:17:49,133
I mean, a dick
with a nice dick,
502
00:17:49,235 --> 00:17:50,301
but a dick nonetheless.
503
00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:52,336
And I guess you just don't
see women as real people.
504
00:17:52,439 --> 00:17:53,704
And that's why
you can tell me
505
00:17:53,807 --> 00:17:55,206
that I have "knuckles
like a T-Rex"
506
00:17:55,308 --> 00:17:56,607
and still expect a blowjob.
507
00:17:56,709 --> 00:18:00,711
And I have to learn not to
hate myself that I did it.
508
00:18:04,717 --> 00:18:06,451
Good evening, sir. Oh.
509
00:18:09,756 --> 00:18:11,089
Yes, yes.
510
00:18:11,191 --> 00:18:12,723
Oh, hey, Kris.
511
00:18:13,493 --> 00:18:14,826
Yeah?
512
00:18:14,928 --> 00:18:16,060
Could I still get
the money or?
513
00:18:16,162 --> 00:18:17,462
I will end you!
- Oh, oh! I'm sor-
514
00:18:18,565 --> 00:18:20,431
You little piece of shit.
You better run!
515
00:18:21,534 --> 00:18:23,301
Hey, um, Sharon?
516
00:18:23,403 --> 00:18:25,169
This is Dr. Kent's office.
517
00:18:25,271 --> 00:18:28,272
Would you mind if we moved yourappointment again to possibly-
518
00:18:28,374 --> 00:18:31,275
Sharon, I love you,
I really do.
519
00:18:31,377 --> 00:18:33,411
But I'm just, I'm learning
how to stick up for myself
520
00:18:33,513 --> 00:18:35,446
and I find it hard to function
521
00:18:35,548 --> 00:18:37,515
when you keep changing
the appointment.
522
00:18:37,617 --> 00:18:40,785
Listen, I need
to see a doctor.
523
00:18:40,887 --> 00:18:43,821
So, if you couldjust pick a date
524
00:18:43,923 --> 00:18:45,957
and if you could
just stick with it,
525
00:18:46,059 --> 00:18:47,525
I would really
appreciate that.
526
00:18:47,627 --> 00:18:49,961
And I still love you
and I love your work.
527
00:18:50,063 --> 00:18:50,995
Understood.
528
00:18:51,097 --> 00:18:52,763
We will make itwork from our end.
529
00:18:54,567 --> 00:18:55,967
Thank you.
530
00:18:56,569 --> 00:18:57,668
Yes! Yes!
531
00:18:57,770 --> 00:18:59,137
I fucking did it.
532
00:18:59,239 --> 00:19:01,472
I did it! I did it!
533
00:19:01,574 --> 00:19:02,473
You did it!
534
00:19:02,575 --> 00:19:03,474
Oh my God!
535
00:19:03,576 --> 00:19:04,475
Oh your God, I mean-
536
00:19:04,577 --> 00:19:05,510
I love you, Sharon!
537
00:19:05,612 --> 00:19:06,511
Yeah, you told her
you loved her.
538
00:19:06,613 --> 00:19:08,646
I did.
-But you got it.
539
00:19:08,748 --> 00:19:10,114
I did it. Great, great.
- Yeah.
540
00:19:10,216 --> 00:19:11,315
I'm buying you a donut.
541
00:19:11,417 --> 00:19:12,950
But you're terrible at that.
542
00:19:20,126 --> 00:19:21,893
I'm having a little
problem here
543
00:19:21,995 --> 00:19:24,529
and I'm wondering if you
could help me with it.
544
00:19:24,631 --> 00:19:25,730
What?
545
00:19:25,832 --> 00:19:28,065
Well, it seems that all of
my pyjamas are in the wash
546
00:19:28,168 --> 00:19:30,935
and so I'm going to
have to sleep nude.
547
00:19:31,037 --> 00:19:32,770
Oh no.
- Mm-hmm.
548
00:19:35,708 --> 00:19:36,874
I'm sorry, I just,
549
00:19:36,976 --> 00:19:38,776
I think we need to talk.
550
00:19:38,878 --> 00:19:40,044
Shit.
- I know.
551
00:19:40,146 --> 00:19:41,045
No, no, it's fair.
552
00:19:41,147 --> 00:19:42,713
I was hoping to distract you.
553
00:19:42,815 --> 00:19:44,415
Okay, it's like, I just
want to understand,
554
00:19:44,517 --> 00:19:45,483
that's the thing, right?
555
00:19:45,585 --> 00:19:48,586
Because we agreed that
there'd be no more butt-
556
00:19:48,688 --> 00:19:50,321
we agreed there'd
be no more butt stuff.
557
00:19:50,423 --> 00:19:52,823
But then you go and get that
thing and what am I supposed?
558
00:19:52,926 --> 00:19:54,492
Yeah, no, no, I'm good.
- Okay.
559
00:19:55,895 --> 00:19:59,931
I just, lately it feels like
you haven't been that into me.
560
00:20:01,167 --> 00:20:02,433
No, it's not you, babe.
561
00:20:02,535 --> 00:20:04,769
You are kind and sexy.
562
00:20:04,871 --> 00:20:06,404
Come on, you're a smoke show.
563
00:20:07,807 --> 00:20:10,041
Okay, then what is going on?
564
00:20:10,143 --> 00:20:12,977
You know you can talk to
me about anything, right?
565
00:20:13,079 --> 00:20:14,979
Okay. Well.
566
00:20:17,550 --> 00:20:21,852
I am not
getting any younger,
567
00:20:21,955 --> 00:20:25,389
and our sex life has
always been fantastic.
568
00:20:25,491 --> 00:20:30,228
And I worry that
if that changed-
569
00:20:30,330 --> 00:20:32,830
Hey, if this is about
you turning fifty,
570
00:20:32,932 --> 00:20:36,567
nothing about us is ever
gonna change, alright?
571
00:20:36,669 --> 00:20:39,704
I always, always want
to do stuff with you.
572
00:20:40,807 --> 00:20:42,039
As a matter of fact,
573
00:20:42,141 --> 00:20:44,475
that pyjama problem
you were talking about,
574
00:20:44,577 --> 00:20:45,509
why don't I take a look?
575
00:20:45,612 --> 00:20:47,144
Oh yeah. Oh, no, no, no.
576
00:20:47,780 --> 00:20:48,679
Leave that in.
577
00:20:48,781 --> 00:20:49,947
Leave it in?
- Yeah, I think-
578
00:20:50,049 --> 00:20:51,048
Oh my God, you do
love your toys.
579
00:20:51,150 --> 00:20:52,283
I do. Mm-hmm.
580
00:20:52,385 --> 00:20:53,884
Did you change the
wifi password-
581
00:20:53,987 --> 00:20:55,086
- Oh my God!
- Whoa!
582
00:20:55,188 --> 00:20:58,689
It's 8:30, it should be safe
for me to walk in here!
583
00:20:58,791 --> 00:20:59,690
Ew!
584
00:21:00,793 --> 00:21:02,293
Is it 8:30 already?
585
00:21:02,395 --> 00:21:04,061
♪ Here we go
586
00:21:04,163 --> 00:21:06,163
♪ And all of meand this is great
587
00:21:06,266 --> 00:21:07,865
♪ And I like youand you like me
588
00:21:07,967 --> 00:21:09,066
♪ You get a dong ♪
589
00:21:09,168 --> 00:21:11,235
♪ And you get a dongAnd you get a dong ♪
590
00:21:11,337 --> 00:21:12,303
♪ And you get a dong ♪
591
00:21:12,405 --> 00:21:13,404
♪ Nice to meet you
592
00:21:13,506 --> 00:21:14,939
♪ I'm like gold at theend of a rainbow
593
00:21:15,041 --> 00:21:16,240
♪ I'm going to keep...
594
00:21:16,342 --> 00:21:17,575
♪ I won't, I won't touch it,I didn't touch them
595
00:21:17,677 --> 00:21:19,744
♪ Dong de-dongde-dong de-dong
596
00:21:19,846 --> 00:21:20,878
♪ Briiiiing! ♪
597
00:21:20,980 --> 00:21:22,046
♪ DONGS! ♪
598
00:21:22,148 --> 00:21:23,214
♪ What do you mean? ♪
599
00:21:23,316 --> 00:21:24,215
♪ I don't give a fuck! ♪
600
00:21:24,317 --> 00:21:25,249
♪ Oh my God, Julie ♪
601
00:21:25,351 --> 00:21:26,550
♪ Pew pew pew pewpew pew pew! ♪
602
00:21:26,653 --> 00:21:27,752
♪ You get a dong ♪
603
00:21:27,854 --> 00:21:30,021
♪ And you get a dongAnd you get a dong ♪
604
00:21:30,123 --> 00:21:31,188
♪ And you get a dong ♪
605
00:21:31,291 --> 00:21:32,790
♪ I'm in Dong heaven ♪
41923
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