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1
00:00:12,580 --> 00:00:14,113
Oh, hi.
2
00:00:14,215 --> 00:00:15,147
Love you.
3
00:00:16,584 --> 00:00:18,050
Oh my God!
4
00:00:19,186 --> 00:00:20,252
I'm sorry.
5
00:00:20,354 --> 00:00:21,253
Julie Muldoon.
6
00:00:21,355 --> 00:00:22,788
Hi, it's me. It's Kris,
7
00:00:22,890 --> 00:00:24,323
♪ with a K ♪
8
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Oh, Big Important Ideas fan.
9
00:00:25,793 --> 00:00:26,692
Oh, hey!
- Wait, wait, wait!
10
00:00:26,794 --> 00:00:27,960
What are you doing?
11
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Ah, new colleague hugs.
That's what I'm doing.
12
00:00:29,096 --> 00:00:30,129
Come here.
13
00:00:30,231 --> 00:00:32,331
You work here?
- I do now.
14
00:00:32,433 --> 00:00:33,532
You probably
know me from TikTok.
15
00:00:33,634 --> 00:00:35,000
I do those makeup glow-ups.
16
00:00:35,102 --> 00:00:36,802
Boop! You know the...
17
00:00:36,904 --> 00:00:37,936
Do you know the?
- I do not.
18
00:00:38,039 --> 00:00:39,138
You know what? Hug me.
19
00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:40,305
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Not a hugger.
20
00:00:40,408 --> 00:00:41,306
Personal space.
21
00:00:41,409 --> 00:00:42,708
Look at me,
I'm hugging myself.
22
00:00:42,810 --> 00:00:44,977
Ooh, ooh, mm mm mm.
23
00:00:45,079 --> 00:00:46,178
And oh, guess what?
24
00:00:46,280 --> 00:00:47,813
Oh my god, honey, I can
see your breast silhouette.
25
00:00:47,915 --> 00:00:49,148
- Oh my gosh!
- It's okay.
26
00:00:49,250 --> 00:00:50,149
And it's a new shirt,
you know,
27
00:00:50,251 --> 00:00:51,784
and I overheated slightly.
28
00:00:51,886 --> 00:00:53,952
Oh, okay. Yeah, that's, you
know, I'm gonna just do it.
29
00:00:54,055 --> 00:00:55,354
No, first day,
I'm getting the door.
30
00:00:55,456 --> 00:00:56,422
Here we go. Oh.
31
00:00:56,524 --> 00:00:57,856
Um, no, you have,
you have to pull.
32
00:00:57,958 --> 00:00:59,058
No, I am, I'm pulling.
33
00:00:59,160 --> 00:01:00,492
Okay. Nope. Pull.
34
00:01:00,594 --> 00:01:01,593
No, no, that's what I'm doing,
I'm pulling.
35
00:01:01,695 --> 00:01:03,595
See, look. Pull, pull,
pull, pull, pull.
36
00:01:03,697 --> 00:01:04,596
I am pulling!
37
00:01:04,698 --> 00:01:05,864
Pulls the other way.
38
00:01:05,966 --> 00:01:07,132
I'm doing it, I'm doing it.
- Okay, just move.
39
00:01:07,234 --> 00:01:08,600
No, no, I'll do it!
40
00:01:08,702 --> 00:01:10,169
Ow!
- Oh!
41
00:01:10,271 --> 00:01:11,537
Oh my God, are you okay?
42
00:01:11,639 --> 00:01:12,538
I need you to hug me.
43
00:01:12,640 --> 00:01:13,705
No.
- Okay. That's fine.
44
00:01:13,808 --> 00:01:15,007
Here, Julie, wait up.
Let's go.
45
00:01:15,109 --> 00:01:16,208
No.
46
00:01:16,310 --> 00:01:17,543
Got it.
47
00:01:17,645 --> 00:01:18,710
I got it with my butt.
48
00:01:21,449 --> 00:01:23,949
♪ I feel it all,I feel it all ♪
49
00:01:24,051 --> 00:01:25,317
♪ Eh! Eh! ♪
50
00:01:25,419 --> 00:01:26,785
♪ Ooh, ooh! ♪
51
00:01:26,887 --> 00:01:29,154
♪ I feel it all! ♪
52
00:01:29,256 --> 00:01:30,656
I'm gonna introduce you
53
00:01:30,758 --> 00:01:31,657
to some of the peopleyou'll be working with.
54
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They are amazing.
55
00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:34,193
Okay.
56
00:01:34,295 --> 00:01:35,561
Hey everybody.
57
00:01:36,764 --> 00:01:38,564
This is Kris.
- Yay!
58
00:01:38,666 --> 00:01:40,065
She's the host of
our new podcast,
59
00:01:40,167 --> 00:01:41,867
Glow Up
With Kris.
60
00:01:41,969 --> 00:01:43,202
I discovered
her on TikTok.
61
00:01:43,304 --> 00:01:44,203
Ha.
- You're welcome.
62
00:01:44,305 --> 00:01:45,571
Thank you.
- Ha ha.
63
00:01:46,307 --> 00:01:47,673
Mmm. This is Chelsey.
64
00:01:47,775 --> 00:01:49,408
She's the host of the
"It Could Happen To You"
65
00:01:49,510 --> 00:01:50,409
podcast.
66
00:01:50,511 --> 00:01:51,410
I love your TikToks.
67
00:01:51,512 --> 00:01:52,377
Blush for the blue
collar bunch?
68
00:01:52,480 --> 00:01:53,378
High five.
69
00:01:53,481 --> 00:01:54,413
Oh my God,
you're so kind.
70
00:01:54,515 --> 00:01:55,681
Thank you so much.
I love your podcast.
71
00:01:55,783 --> 00:01:57,249
I love your hair.
I love braids.
72
00:01:57,351 --> 00:01:58,383
Your everything. Thank you.
- Thank you.
73
00:01:58,486 --> 00:01:59,451
That's Jamila,
operations director.
74
00:01:59,553 --> 00:02:00,819
Hello. Hi.
75
00:02:00,921 --> 00:02:03,422
Robyn, producer of"It Could Happen To You."
76
00:02:03,524 --> 00:02:05,190
Larry, sound.
77
00:02:05,292 --> 00:02:06,992
And that is Mo. HR.
78
00:02:07,094 --> 00:02:08,393
Oh, hi. Oh my God.
I love HR.
79
00:02:08,496 --> 00:02:09,394
I love it. Oh my God.
HR. Yay.
80
00:02:09,497 --> 00:02:10,395
Whoops. Okay.
81
00:02:10,498 --> 00:02:12,397
Uh, we always consent
to a hug here.
82
00:02:12,500 --> 00:02:13,398
Ah, I'm a hugger though.
83
00:02:13,501 --> 00:02:14,433
No, I'm sorry.
Joking.
84
00:02:14,535 --> 00:02:15,367
Office policy. Check!
85
00:02:15,469 --> 00:02:16,602
Not going to do
that, sorry.
86
00:02:16,704 --> 00:02:17,870
Uh, yeah, I'm gonna...
87
00:02:17,972 --> 00:02:18,871
Uh, you can't sit there.
88
00:02:18,973 --> 00:02:20,272
Oh my gosh. Okay.
I'm so sorry.
89
00:02:20,374 --> 00:02:21,406
Uh, that's our
boss's seat.
90
00:02:21,509 --> 00:02:22,875
Yeah, but he's never
in the office.
91
00:02:22,977 --> 00:02:24,676
So don't sit in the chair
that no one sits in.
92
00:02:25,679 --> 00:02:26,311
Take my seat. That's fine.
93
00:02:26,413 --> 00:02:27,579
Okay. Thanks.
- Yeah.
94
00:02:31,519 --> 00:02:32,885
Good morning, everyone.
95
00:02:33,654 --> 00:02:34,853
Big day for some of us.
96
00:02:35,756 --> 00:02:36,889
Let's get started,
shall we?
97
00:02:37,625 --> 00:02:38,824
I'll bring Michael in.
98
00:02:38,926 --> 00:02:41,293
Good morning.
Good morning.
99
00:02:41,395 --> 00:02:43,428
I know you've allbeen waiting forthis announcement,
100
00:02:43,531 --> 00:02:45,330
and I think wecan all agree,
101
00:02:45,432 --> 00:02:47,499
that The Podcast Folx
102
00:02:47,601 --> 00:02:49,301
was founded on
Big Important Ideas.
103
00:02:50,938 --> 00:02:52,671
We branched outto massive hits
104
00:02:52,773 --> 00:02:54,640
like Man Planet,obviously,
105
00:02:54,742 --> 00:02:57,442
and as the medialandscape evolves,
106
00:02:57,545 --> 00:02:58,944
so shall we.
107
00:02:59,046 --> 00:03:03,415
And so, guiding us throughthis new, exciting chapter,
108
00:03:03,517 --> 00:03:05,784
I am very pleasedto announce
109
00:03:05,886 --> 00:03:08,420
our new Managing Director,
Evan Vandergrift.
110
00:03:08,522 --> 00:03:09,454
Thank you, Michael.
111
00:03:12,760 --> 00:03:14,259
Julie, if you could just...
112
00:03:14,361 --> 00:03:15,727
pop a squat.
113
00:03:16,597 --> 00:03:18,063
Ruining my moment.
114
00:03:18,165 --> 00:03:19,631
Get down there, Julie.
115
00:03:20,834 --> 00:03:24,503
Everyone, as your newManaging Director...
116
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I got skipped.
117
00:03:30,778 --> 00:03:33,946
I got fucking skipped again?
118
00:03:34,048 --> 00:03:36,481
Julie, do you have
something to say?
119
00:03:36,584 --> 00:03:39,117
Oh, uh, no, no.
- Good. Okay.
120
00:03:39,220 --> 00:03:41,453
Actually, yeah, yeah, I do.
121
00:03:41,555 --> 00:03:43,288
Excuse me.
122
00:03:43,390 --> 00:03:46,792
Michael, I have known
you for 25 years.
123
00:03:46,894 --> 00:03:48,160
We came up together.
124
00:03:48,262 --> 00:03:49,528
I wrote your business plan.
125
00:03:49,630 --> 00:03:53,332
I put off having kids because
you said you needed me here,
126
00:03:53,434 --> 00:03:55,968
and then I had to have
IVF to have Oliver.
127
00:03:56,070 --> 00:04:00,472
And you skipped me YET AGAIN
for this marketing major
128
00:04:00,574 --> 00:04:03,675
who just makes dumb sports showsand crappy murder podcasts!
129
00:04:03,777 --> 00:04:04,943
Hey!
130
00:04:05,045 --> 00:04:08,313
Robyn, your podcast investigates
the murders of girls
131
00:04:08,415 --> 00:04:09,514
who look exactly like Chelsey.
132
00:04:09,617 --> 00:04:12,117
It is deeply weird ona number of levels.
133
00:04:12,219 --> 00:04:13,485
It's true, they do.
Oh my God.
134
00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:14,486
I'm triggered.
135
00:04:14,588 --> 00:04:15,687
Chelsey, the breeze
triggers you.
136
00:04:15,789 --> 00:04:17,289
Harsh.
137
00:04:17,391 --> 00:04:18,690
Like John Lennon said-
138
00:04:18,792 --> 00:04:21,526
Larry, shut up
about The Beatles.
139
00:04:21,629 --> 00:04:23,128
Evan, if you sitin that chair,
140
00:04:23,230 --> 00:04:24,730
I will wear your
balls as a necklace.
141
00:04:29,603 --> 00:04:34,506
Um, so in conclusion,
congratulations Evan.
142
00:04:36,010 --> 00:04:37,309
Pssst!
143
00:04:42,116 --> 00:04:44,816
Okay. That happened.
144
00:04:45,686 --> 00:04:47,352
How is everybody else?
145
00:04:52,860 --> 00:04:54,559
I am so sorry about Julie.
146
00:04:55,696 --> 00:04:57,596
Normally she's
as dry as toast.
147
00:04:58,699 --> 00:04:59,598
That's okay.
148
00:04:59,700 --> 00:05:00,699
Uh, okay.
149
00:05:00,801 --> 00:05:03,535
So Kris, what
are we gonna do?
150
00:05:03,637 --> 00:05:04,536
A podcast.
151
00:05:04,638 --> 00:05:05,537
Yeah.
- Yeah.
152
00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:06,838
Yes we are.
153
00:05:06,940 --> 00:05:08,507
But, you know, what arewe really gonna do?
154
00:05:08,609 --> 00:05:11,343
We're really gonna do it
with really a podcast.
155
00:05:11,445 --> 00:05:12,511
Walk me through how
you see this going.
156
00:05:12,613 --> 00:05:15,380
Oh, okay. Um, so I went viral
157
00:05:15,482 --> 00:05:18,350
for my glow-ups on middle-aged
women using beauty dupes.
158
00:05:18,452 --> 00:05:20,185
So it's like me,
everybody's best friend,
159
00:05:20,287 --> 00:05:21,219
and I'm talkingto other women,
160
00:05:21,322 --> 00:05:22,554
and then they're gonna
be my best friends-
161
00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:23,822
Okay. Yeah, I got that part.
- Okay.
162
00:05:23,924 --> 00:05:27,025
But, you know, that only
hits one quadrant, right?
163
00:05:27,127 --> 00:05:30,562
When you talk about
the podcast like that,
164
00:05:30,664 --> 00:05:32,264
all I'm hearing is old.
165
00:05:32,900 --> 00:05:33,765
In four months,
166
00:05:33,867 --> 00:05:35,801
half your followers
could be dead.
167
00:05:35,903 --> 00:05:38,970
Yeah, you got a
Dominion Drug Mart audience,
168
00:05:39,073 --> 00:05:42,607
but we wanna get you
a Sephora audience.
169
00:05:42,710 --> 00:05:44,576
Good. That's, yeah.
What does that mean?
170
00:05:44,678 --> 00:05:47,612
It means, I'm gonna give
your glow up show a glow up.
171
00:05:47,715 --> 00:05:48,613
Ooh.
172
00:05:48,716 --> 00:05:50,048
And we're gonnado that by...
173
00:05:50,150 --> 00:05:51,583
drum roll please.
174
00:05:54,088 --> 00:05:55,454
Oh, I do the drum roll.
- Drum roll, yeah.
175
00:05:57,758 --> 00:05:58,690
We're gonna do that by...
176
00:05:58,792 --> 00:05:59,691
Yes?
177
00:05:59,793 --> 00:06:01,960
Adding a younger co-host!
178
00:06:04,331 --> 00:06:06,865
So are you suggesting I
need a younger co-host
179
00:06:06,967 --> 00:06:08,567
'cause you think I'll
be dead in four months?
180
00:06:08,669 --> 00:06:11,970
Do you have an issue supporting
younger women, Kris?
181
00:06:12,072 --> 00:06:14,272
No, my gosh, not at all.
I, I love younger women.
182
00:06:14,375 --> 00:06:15,774
I have one at home.I love her very much.
183
00:06:15,876 --> 00:06:17,576
I hug her all the time, so, no-
Right.
184
00:06:19,246 --> 00:06:21,413
Oh My God, oh my God,oh my God. Not now.
185
00:06:21,515 --> 00:06:22,881
I'm so sorry.
Can we talk about this later?
186
00:06:22,983 --> 00:06:26,084
If you have an issue
advocating for younger women,
187
00:06:26,186 --> 00:06:29,421
I can totally set you up
with a meeting with HR,
188
00:06:29,523 --> 00:06:30,889
because here at
the Podcast Folx...
189
00:06:32,126 --> 00:06:34,659
It's okay. It's okay. I'm okay.
190
00:06:34,762 --> 00:06:35,627
Um, no need for HR.
191
00:06:35,729 --> 00:06:36,862
I really love young women.
192
00:06:36,964 --> 00:06:38,830
I, I think they're great.
I think you're great.
193
00:06:38,932 --> 00:06:39,865
This all soundsreally wonderful
194
00:06:39,967 --> 00:06:41,032
and I'm just gonna
think about it. Can we,
195
00:06:41,135 --> 00:06:42,267
and I'm gonna talk
about it to you later.
196
00:06:42,369 --> 00:06:43,301
Thank you very much.
I'm just...
197
00:06:49,410 --> 00:06:55,046
♪
198
00:06:55,149 --> 00:06:56,848
You're just gonnago back in there
199
00:06:56,950 --> 00:06:58,850
and you are gonna stick
up for yourself, okay?
200
00:06:58,952 --> 00:07:00,585
You're gonna say, Hey Evan,
201
00:07:00,687 --> 00:07:03,088
you fool me once,
shame on, shame on the sha-
202
00:07:03,190 --> 00:07:04,790
Yo, you she fool me again,
203
00:07:04,892 --> 00:07:07,125
and shame on fooling.
204
00:07:07,227 --> 00:07:08,126
That's not how the quote goes.
205
00:07:08,228 --> 00:07:09,628
Oh my God, Julie, thank God.
206
00:07:09,730 --> 00:07:13,298
Listen, do you happen to havean extra pad or two or three?
207
00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:15,033
I just need to getthrough the day.
208
00:07:15,135 --> 00:07:16,435
Sure.
- Yes. Thank you.
209
00:07:17,938 --> 00:07:19,471
Hey.
210
00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:20,839
How are you?
211
00:07:20,941 --> 00:07:21,873
That was quite
something in there.
212
00:07:21,975 --> 00:07:22,874
I don't know what that was.
213
00:07:22,976 --> 00:07:24,342
It was like my
internal monologue
214
00:07:24,445 --> 00:07:26,511
suddenly became external.
215
00:07:26,613 --> 00:07:27,979
You know what?
216
00:07:28,081 --> 00:07:30,682
I like that you don't care
that people don't like you.
217
00:07:30,784 --> 00:07:32,050
People like me!
218
00:07:32,653 --> 00:07:33,952
Sorry, no pad.
219
00:07:35,255 --> 00:07:36,321
You know what?
It doesn't matter.
220
00:07:36,423 --> 00:07:38,723
I am just going to MacGyver
221
00:07:38,826 --> 00:07:41,893
an extra layer around
these pads with some TP.
222
00:07:41,995 --> 00:07:43,094
Just a safety layer.
223
00:07:43,197 --> 00:07:44,529
Holy moly.
224
00:07:44,631 --> 00:07:45,530
It's unpredictable.
225
00:07:45,632 --> 00:07:46,698
It's a tsunami of blood.
226
00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:48,567
You never know howlong or how much.
227
00:07:48,669 --> 00:07:51,536
You'd think at 44, my periodwould not surprise me anymore.
228
00:07:51,638 --> 00:07:52,871
Surprise!
229
00:07:52,973 --> 00:07:54,940
Sharon at the doctor'sreception said it was normal.
230
00:07:55,042 --> 00:07:56,741
She'd know. She's all right.She's nice. She'd know.
231
00:07:56,844 --> 00:07:57,742
You know what I'mtalking about?
232
00:07:57,845 --> 00:07:59,177
The cramping is bad. So bad.
233
00:07:59,279 --> 00:08:01,146
Like my uterus feels like it'sbeen in a head-on collision.
234
00:08:03,750 --> 00:08:06,151
I will wear your
balls as a necklace!
235
00:08:06,253 --> 00:08:08,320
Fantastic.
236
00:08:08,422 --> 00:08:09,321
Happy birthday to me.
237
00:08:09,423 --> 00:08:11,289
Oh my God,
it is your birthday?
238
00:08:11,391 --> 00:08:13,925
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
- No, no, no.
239
00:08:14,027 --> 00:08:14,926
Oh my gosh.
240
00:08:15,028 --> 00:08:15,927
Look, birthday swirl.
241
00:08:16,029 --> 00:08:16,928
Look, I don't want.
242
00:08:17,030 --> 00:08:18,196
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
243
00:08:18,298 --> 00:08:19,731
Oh my God,please don't sing.
244
00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:24,736
Fireworks!
♪ Happy birthday dear Julie
245
00:08:24,838 --> 00:08:27,539
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
246
00:08:29,810 --> 00:08:31,343
Oh, cute!
247
00:08:32,412 --> 00:08:33,945
Your little emotional
support statue.
248
00:08:34,047 --> 00:08:35,514
That's my Peabody.
249
00:08:37,885 --> 00:08:39,417
Julie, Kris.
250
00:08:41,688 --> 00:08:44,222
Michael came into the office
today and he'd like to see you.
251
00:08:44,324 --> 00:08:46,458
Good. I would like
to see him too.
252
00:08:46,560 --> 00:08:47,993
And I'd like to meet him.
253
00:08:49,363 --> 00:08:50,795
You gotta button up.
254
00:09:01,808 --> 00:09:03,942
After I had drinks with you,
I had drinks with Evan
255
00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:05,944
and he pitched me a
vision for the future.
256
00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:07,178
It's all about numbers.
257
00:09:07,281 --> 00:09:08,747
It's about youth.
It's about quadrants.
258
00:09:08,849 --> 00:09:10,549
He made this pie chart.
Have you seen this thing?
259
00:09:10,651 --> 00:09:13,184
So you were swayed by
pie charts and martinis?
260
00:09:13,287 --> 00:09:14,619
Well, he sees the big picture.
261
00:09:14,721 --> 00:09:15,921
But you're the
better producer.
262
00:09:16,023 --> 00:09:17,756
So that's why I'm putting
you on Kris' show.
263
00:09:17,858 --> 00:09:19,991
Well, Big Important Ideas
takes up most of my time. So I-
264
00:09:20,093 --> 00:09:21,760
Yeah, I'm cancelling that.
265
00:09:21,862 --> 00:09:22,827
What?!
266
00:09:22,930 --> 00:09:24,162
It has low numbers.
267
00:09:24,264 --> 00:09:26,665
The ratings have been in
free fall for some time now.
268
00:09:26,767 --> 00:09:30,168
So you don't give
me the promotion,
269
00:09:30,270 --> 00:09:32,404
you cancel my
"award-winning" show,
270
00:09:32,506 --> 00:09:34,639
and now you want me to do
a stupid makeup podcast
271
00:09:34,741 --> 00:09:36,274
with some random TikToker?
272
00:09:36,376 --> 00:09:37,642
Do I have that right?
273
00:09:37,744 --> 00:09:39,644
Come on, come on. Let's,
let's make this work, okay?
274
00:09:39,746 --> 00:09:41,079
We need her numbers.
275
00:09:41,181 --> 00:09:43,415
Oh, does it helpEvan's pie chart?
276
00:09:43,517 --> 00:09:44,616
If you're not
comfortable doing this,
277
00:09:44,718 --> 00:09:46,484
I can get someone
else to produce it.
278
00:09:46,587 --> 00:09:48,019
Just business, Julie.
279
00:09:49,089 --> 00:09:50,822
Just business.
280
00:09:50,924 --> 00:09:52,290
Feels deeply personal.
281
00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:55,327
Michael! Oh, Kris!
282
00:09:56,430 --> 00:09:57,462
I, um, I gotta go.
283
00:09:57,564 --> 00:09:58,663
This TP is just not
gonna hold, so.
284
00:09:58,765 --> 00:10:00,065
You're kidding me.
- I wish I was.
285
00:10:00,167 --> 00:10:01,333
Well, I'm your new producer.
286
00:10:01,435 --> 00:10:02,334
Are you kidding me?
287
00:10:02,436 --> 00:10:06,871
I wish I was.
- Oh my God. Okay, listen.
288
00:10:06,974 --> 00:10:08,873
If you're my new producer,you need to do me a favour.
289
00:10:08,976 --> 00:10:10,675
No co-host, please,
just no co-host.
290
00:10:10,777 --> 00:10:11,876
Oh, well then walk away.
291
00:10:11,979 --> 00:10:13,144
You must have tons with
all your TikTok followers.
292
00:10:13,246 --> 00:10:14,245
It's not what people think.
293
00:10:14,348 --> 00:10:15,480
I don't make a lot
of money on TikTok.
294
00:10:15,582 --> 00:10:17,682
And I only made minimum
wage at Dominion Drug Mart.
295
00:10:17,784 --> 00:10:18,850
I got 30% off sosometimes it worked out,
296
00:10:18,952 --> 00:10:19,851
but not really.
297
00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:21,686
Sometimes in this business,
298
00:10:21,788 --> 00:10:25,557
you have to do things whichyou really don't wanna do.
299
00:10:25,659 --> 00:10:27,926
Really? Is that how
you won your Peabody?
300
00:10:28,028 --> 00:10:29,894
I won it for
journalistic excellence.
301
00:10:29,997 --> 00:10:31,396
You don't know anything
about podcasting.
302
00:10:31,498 --> 00:10:33,098
Well, you know nothing
about modern times.
303
00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:35,133
I know everything
about modern times!
304
00:10:35,235 --> 00:10:36,935
Everyone on your
shirt is dead!
305
00:10:39,106 --> 00:10:40,305
Listen, I gotta go.
This TP is not holding.
306
00:10:40,407 --> 00:10:41,740
Hi!
- Hello.
307
00:10:41,842 --> 00:10:42,974
You ready for the photo shoot?
308
00:10:43,076 --> 00:10:44,009
Oh, well that's just,
309
00:10:44,111 --> 00:10:45,377
that's not a confirmed
thing though, is it?
310
00:10:45,479 --> 00:10:46,544
Well...
311
00:10:46,647 --> 00:10:47,746
Hiya!
- Oh!
312
00:10:47,848 --> 00:10:50,749
Okay, so I have so
many ideas for poses.
313
00:10:50,851 --> 00:10:52,550
How do you feel about
doing a handstand?
314
00:10:52,653 --> 00:10:54,753
- I'm excited.
- Right?
315
00:10:54,855 --> 00:10:57,122
Oh my God, oh my God.Not again. Please.
316
00:10:57,224 --> 00:10:58,423
- Let's walk and talk.- Okay.
317
00:10:58,525 --> 00:11:02,927
Yeah. Um, Julie, you ready to,
318
00:11:03,030 --> 00:11:05,930
you know, get up
and do your job?
319
00:11:06,033 --> 00:11:07,132
Be right there!
320
00:11:13,040 --> 00:11:14,305
Fuck!
321
00:11:16,643 --> 00:11:17,742
Yes.
322
00:11:17,844 --> 00:11:19,911
Now in the comments when
they say 'come to Brazil',
323
00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:20,912
did they mean that literally?
324
00:11:21,014 --> 00:11:21,913
Kris?
325
00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:22,914
Oh no, I have use the bathroom.
326
00:11:23,016 --> 00:11:23,915
Yeah, they're cleaning
it right now.
327
00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:25,316
No, uh...
- Excuse me.
328
00:11:25,419 --> 00:11:26,951
So your makeshift change room
329
00:11:27,054 --> 00:11:28,019
is just in Mo's
office on the corner.
330
00:11:28,121 --> 00:11:30,155
Welcome to the glorious
life of podcasting.
331
00:11:30,257 --> 00:11:31,956
Listen, you don't happen to
have an ol' French baguette?
332
00:11:32,059 --> 00:11:33,291
Pardon?
333
00:11:33,393 --> 00:11:34,426
Well, it's just I have
a visitor in the red tent.
334
00:11:34,528 --> 00:11:35,493
You want me to feed
them a baguette?
335
00:11:35,595 --> 00:11:36,961
No, no, no. I can say pad.
Do you have a pad?
336
00:11:37,064 --> 00:11:38,163
I, I need a pad.
Do you have one?
337
00:11:38,265 --> 00:11:39,597
You know, environmentally,
338
00:11:39,700 --> 00:11:40,999
a menstrual cup
would be better.
339
00:11:41,101 --> 00:11:42,200
You know, it takes
five to 800 years
340
00:11:42,302 --> 00:11:43,968
for a disposable
pad to break down.
341
00:11:44,071 --> 00:11:46,037
Do you have like a cup,
or a bucket,
342
00:11:46,139 --> 00:11:47,038
or a chalice,
343
00:11:47,140 --> 00:11:49,040
or any open receptacle?
344
00:11:49,142 --> 00:11:51,009
No, I'm sorry.
345
00:11:52,145 --> 00:11:53,378
Your wardrobe selects
for the photo shoot
346
00:11:53,480 --> 00:11:54,612
are in your change room.
347
00:11:58,719 --> 00:11:59,984
Oh no.
348
00:12:03,056 --> 00:12:04,422
They're all white!
349
00:12:04,524 --> 00:12:05,724
Shit!
350
00:12:05,826 --> 00:12:07,425
Pete, I didn't getthe promotion.
351
00:12:07,527 --> 00:12:08,827
Michael gave it to Evan,
352
00:12:08,929 --> 00:12:10,995
and now I am stuck
producing some show
353
00:12:11,098 --> 00:12:12,163
I don't even care about.
354
00:12:12,265 --> 00:12:13,198
I don't know if I can do this!
355
00:12:13,300 --> 00:12:14,866
Of course you can. Alright?
356
00:12:14,968 --> 00:12:17,001
Look, you are the
strongest person I know.
357
00:12:17,104 --> 00:12:17,969
You'll figure it out.
358
00:12:18,071 --> 00:12:19,604
Just tell me I can quit.
359
00:12:19,706 --> 00:12:21,005
You can quit!
360
00:12:21,108 --> 00:12:22,006
I can't quit.
361
00:12:22,109 --> 00:12:23,975
My job defines me.
362
00:12:24,077 --> 00:12:24,976
What do you want me to say?
363
00:12:25,078 --> 00:12:26,211
That you love me,
364
00:12:26,313 --> 00:12:28,179
that I'm too good for this,
365
00:12:28,281 --> 00:12:31,216
that someone in your family
died and left us a lot of money.
366
00:12:31,318 --> 00:12:32,484
You're picturing
my Aunt Mable.
367
00:12:32,586 --> 00:12:34,385
I am picturing
your Aunt Mable.
368
00:12:34,488 --> 00:12:35,787
Wow.
369
00:12:37,324 --> 00:12:38,857
I'm fifty.
370
00:12:40,060 --> 00:12:43,228
I've worked too hardto be treated this way.
371
00:12:46,633 --> 00:12:47,532
I quit.
372
00:12:50,170 --> 00:12:50,902
Let's just get acouple solo ones
373
00:12:51,004 --> 00:12:52,504
before your co-host shows up.
374
00:12:52,606 --> 00:12:53,938
Where is she?
375
00:12:54,040 --> 00:12:55,740
Okay. Okay, you're okay.
376
00:13:09,322 --> 00:13:10,622
I'm sorry.
377
00:13:10,724 --> 00:13:12,023
♪ Daddy as fuck ♪
378
00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:13,224
♪ I feel daddy as fuck ♪
379
00:13:13,326 --> 00:13:14,492
♪ Daddy as fuck ♪
380
00:13:14,594 --> 00:13:15,760
♪ I feel daddy as fuck ♪
381
00:13:15,862 --> 00:13:18,029
Not sure if I would want
more boob or less boob.
382
00:13:18,131 --> 00:13:21,065
Is it too booby?
Is there not booby enough?
383
00:13:21,168 --> 00:13:22,867
Do a little of both.We can...
384
00:13:23,970 --> 00:13:25,069
You good?
- Not good.
385
00:13:25,172 --> 00:13:26,437
I am so far from good.
386
00:13:26,540 --> 00:13:28,439
Okay, um, just...
387
00:13:30,177 --> 00:13:32,277
Hey, um, she's not good.
388
00:13:32,379 --> 00:13:33,845
So you want me to fix it?
389
00:13:35,015 --> 00:13:36,281
Thank you.
390
00:13:36,983 --> 00:13:38,082
What's the problem?
391
00:13:38,185 --> 00:13:39,751
I don't want a co-host.
392
00:13:39,853 --> 00:13:41,519
Okay, we'll just
take the picture.
393
00:13:41,621 --> 00:13:42,687
Oh, Julie, I can't.
394
00:13:42,789 --> 00:13:43,888
Yeah, you can.
You just go take the picture.
395
00:13:43,990 --> 00:13:45,223
No, I can't.
396
00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:46,124
You just go and take the
picture and it'll be fine.
397
00:13:46,226 --> 00:13:48,927
No no no, Julie,
Julie, I need pads.
398
00:13:49,029 --> 00:13:49,928
You need an adult diaper.
399
00:13:50,030 --> 00:13:51,329
I don't need an
adult diaper!
400
00:13:51,431 --> 00:13:52,564
Why do you need
an adult diaper?
401
00:13:52,666 --> 00:13:54,098
Because I'm bleeding!
402
00:13:55,435 --> 00:13:56,968
Oh.
403
00:14:07,848 --> 00:14:18,756
♪
404
00:14:32,105 --> 00:14:34,138
Screw you, Julie,
405
00:14:34,241 --> 00:14:35,940
I don't need your
goddamn diapers.
406
00:14:38,445 --> 00:14:40,945
Manager to cash,Manager to cash.
407
00:14:41,047 --> 00:14:43,014
Hi, Sheila.
408
00:14:43,116 --> 00:14:44,415
Yeah.
- Of course.
409
00:14:45,151 --> 00:14:46,417
Oh look, what are these?
410
00:14:48,288 --> 00:14:49,153
It's a menstrual cup.
411
00:14:49,256 --> 00:14:50,355
Oh my God, see the
size of these?
412
00:14:50,457 --> 00:14:52,156
These, these are,
these are for like gnomes.
413
00:14:52,259 --> 00:14:53,124
These are tiny little vaginas.
414
00:14:53,226 --> 00:14:54,626
Gotta squeak that up there.
415
00:14:54,728 --> 00:14:56,661
Yeah, you know what we
need for our old vaginas?
416
00:14:56,763 --> 00:14:58,363
We need like a coffee
cup or a mason jar.
417
00:14:58,465 --> 00:15:00,965
That's right, 'cause I could
just, bam, splash, sploosh.
418
00:15:01,067 --> 00:15:02,734
Ten seconds, I'm
filling that up.
419
00:15:02,836 --> 00:15:04,135
I need a goddamn gravy boat.
420
00:15:04,237 --> 00:15:06,104
Set that down on your
table for a Sunday dinner.
421
00:15:06,206 --> 00:15:07,939
Or don't, however
you like to roll.
422
00:15:08,041 --> 00:15:09,040
How 'bout this?
423
00:15:09,142 --> 00:15:10,942
A Tupperware with areally good seal.
424
00:15:11,044 --> 00:15:12,110
Like one of those containersthat pho comes in
425
00:15:12,212 --> 00:15:13,611
when you order out.That's what you need.
426
00:15:13,713 --> 00:15:16,147
Anyway, back to basics for me.
427
00:15:16,249 --> 00:15:17,248
Super slenders.
428
00:15:17,350 --> 00:15:18,816
That's a bit of a joke,
isn't it really? For us?
429
00:15:18,919 --> 00:15:21,152
That's just like throwing a
cotton ball into the ocean.
430
00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:24,522
Mini. No one down
here is interested.
431
00:15:24,624 --> 00:15:25,590
Ultra Thin Maxi.
432
00:15:25,692 --> 00:15:27,325
Let me tell you what
that is, Sheila...
433
00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:28,993
oxymoron.
434
00:15:29,095 --> 00:15:30,161
Chlorine-free.
435
00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:31,629
Goddamnit, girl,
436
00:15:31,731 --> 00:15:33,197
when was it not chlorine-free?
437
00:15:33,300 --> 00:15:34,198
And what do we have over here?
438
00:15:34,301 --> 00:15:35,867
Oh, this is nice,
"Scented for teens."
439
00:15:35,969 --> 00:15:38,469
Wait, what are you? Stop.
440
00:15:38,571 --> 00:15:41,572
'To cover upunwanted odours.'
441
00:15:41,675 --> 00:15:43,641
Well, here we go.
442
00:15:43,743 --> 00:15:46,678
Now, I'm pretty sure the tweensdidn't think it was unwanted
443
00:15:46,780 --> 00:15:50,381
'til they're told it was
unwanted by some corporate CEO
444
00:15:50,483 --> 00:15:53,851
just trying to make
bank off a child's shame.
445
00:15:53,954 --> 00:15:56,187
And then they're buildinga world of humiliation
446
00:15:56,289 --> 00:15:59,090
around the female
reproductive system.
447
00:15:59,192 --> 00:16:01,159
Now isn't that nice?
448
00:16:01,261 --> 00:16:02,994
I just stock the shelves.
449
00:16:03,096 --> 00:16:04,162
We had to take it but
our daughters don't.
450
00:16:04,264 --> 00:16:05,563
Guess what we're gonna do.
451
00:16:05,665 --> 00:16:06,864
We're calling our daughters.
452
00:16:06,967 --> 00:16:07,732
Get your phone out.We doing this together.
453
00:16:07,834 --> 00:16:09,233
Sheila, get your
goddamn phone out.
454
00:16:09,336 --> 00:16:10,401
I, I can't.
- You can't.
455
00:16:10,503 --> 00:16:12,170
I love you, Sheila.
Do you love me?
456
00:16:12,272 --> 00:16:13,404
Yes?
- Yeah?
457
00:16:13,506 --> 00:16:14,806
We're calling our daughters.
458
00:16:16,142 --> 00:16:16,841
Mom, what are you doing?
459
00:16:16,943 --> 00:16:18,242
I'm in math class.
460
00:16:18,345 --> 00:16:19,811
Listen to me right now.
461
00:16:19,913 --> 00:16:22,814
Periods and vaginas are
more important than math.
462
00:16:22,916 --> 00:16:24,015
What does Mom always tell you?
463
00:16:24,117 --> 00:16:26,217
Eyelash glue is for losers.
464
00:16:26,319 --> 00:16:27,251
It's true. It completely is.
465
00:16:27,354 --> 00:16:29,420
But people don't
need to like you,
466
00:16:29,522 --> 00:16:31,656
but they need to respect you.
467
00:16:31,758 --> 00:16:33,091
Yeah?
468
00:16:33,193 --> 00:16:36,461
Okay. Okay, I'm about to
learn how to divide a fraction.
469
00:16:36,563 --> 00:16:38,463
You will not be controlled.
470
00:16:38,565 --> 00:16:41,265
You will not be told
that you are an idiot.
471
00:16:41,368 --> 00:16:43,468
You will not be told that
you need a younger co-host
472
00:16:43,570 --> 00:16:45,269
or an adult diaper.
Do you understand me?
473
00:16:46,373 --> 00:16:47,438
Mom, lowkey,
474
00:16:47,540 --> 00:16:48,473
you might need the diapers.
475
00:16:48,575 --> 00:16:50,074
Okay, bye.
476
00:16:56,983 --> 00:16:58,316
This
is not who I am.
477
00:17:02,522 --> 00:17:03,688
I don't need your help.
478
00:17:03,790 --> 00:17:05,023
I'm actually not here to help.
479
00:17:05,125 --> 00:17:07,191
Um, I'm here to tell
you I'm quitting.
480
00:17:07,293 --> 00:17:09,827
- What?
- Hey.
481
00:17:09,929 --> 00:17:11,863
Your turn.
- Yeah.
482
00:17:11,965 --> 00:17:13,464
Why don't you just check
out and I'll explain. Yeah.
483
00:17:13,566 --> 00:17:15,099
Fine.
484
00:17:18,972 --> 00:17:20,238
Unexpected item.
485
00:17:21,174 --> 00:17:22,073
Unexpected item.
486
00:17:22,175 --> 00:17:24,275
Okay. FYI, these are
not for me, okay?
487
00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:26,878
No one cares about
your diapers, lady.
488
00:17:26,980 --> 00:17:28,079
You know what?
Maybe you would care
489
00:17:28,181 --> 00:17:29,280
if you were on your period
490
00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:31,282
and you were bleeding so
bad you could pass out.
491
00:17:31,384 --> 00:17:32,283
Maybe you'd care then.
492
00:17:32,385 --> 00:17:34,085
I don't care.
I wouldn't care.
493
00:17:34,187 --> 00:17:35,286
You probably would care.
- Okay, okay, okay.
494
00:17:35,388 --> 00:17:37,088
Okay, let me, we'll just scan.
495
00:17:37,190 --> 00:17:39,290
You know what I don't need
is help from quitters.
496
00:17:39,392 --> 00:17:40,725
That's what I don't need.
497
00:17:40,827 --> 00:17:42,260
Well clearly you do 'cause
the barcode is down here.
498
00:17:42,362 --> 00:17:43,961
Yeah, I know where
the barcode is.
499
00:17:46,066 --> 00:17:47,365
Unexpected item.
500
00:17:47,467 --> 00:17:49,333
Oh my god, how can it
be an unexpected item?
501
00:17:49,436 --> 00:17:54,172
Isn't everything in the store
a goddamn expected item?!
502
00:17:54,274 --> 00:17:57,141
Hurry up and buy
your damn diapers!
503
00:17:57,243 --> 00:17:58,376
These are not my diapers!
504
00:17:58,478 --> 00:17:59,544
I don't care!
505
00:17:59,646 --> 00:18:01,646
Now I'm gonna make you care!
506
00:18:01,748 --> 00:18:03,281
What are ya gonna do?
You gonna leak on me?
507
00:18:03,383 --> 00:18:05,249
Yeah, you wanna
know how it feels?
508
00:18:05,351 --> 00:18:06,751
Whoa. Hey, hey, hey!
509
00:18:06,853 --> 00:18:08,286
Please do not touch my meats.
510
00:18:08,388 --> 00:18:09,287
You wanna see what-
511
00:18:09,389 --> 00:18:10,721
What's going on here?
- Oh!
512
00:18:10,824 --> 00:18:12,090
Get her off of me!
513
00:18:12,192 --> 00:18:13,291
Kris!
514
00:18:13,393 --> 00:18:14,659
Ah!
515
00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:21,799
Oh my gosh.
516
00:18:23,236 --> 00:18:25,169
I am so sorry, sir.
517
00:18:25,271 --> 00:18:27,171
Okay, so fact:
518
00:18:27,273 --> 00:18:28,706
these diapers are for me.
519
00:18:30,410 --> 00:18:31,943
And, um...
520
00:18:33,279 --> 00:18:36,347
It's just like this, so...
521
00:18:36,449 --> 00:18:37,715
Oh.
- Oh.
522
00:18:38,651 --> 00:18:40,184
Just, um...
523
00:18:42,922 --> 00:18:45,156
You don't need to like me.
524
00:18:47,927 --> 00:18:50,828
You just need to respect me.
525
00:18:51,931 --> 00:19:00,338
Jesus.
526
00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:02,507
I just really didn't
want to need the diaper.
527
00:19:04,878 --> 00:19:07,278
Periods do get weird
in your forties.
528
00:19:07,380 --> 00:19:08,779
Long and stringy,
529
00:19:08,882 --> 00:19:10,314
yet chunky.
530
00:19:10,416 --> 00:19:13,117
And like so heavy that you
have to sleep in the bathtub
531
00:19:13,219 --> 00:19:14,685
just 'cause it's easier.
532
00:19:15,421 --> 00:19:16,354
Should you see a doctor?
533
00:19:16,456 --> 00:19:18,322
Oh yeah, I tried.
534
00:19:18,424 --> 00:19:19,524
Apparently it's normal, so.
535
00:19:19,626 --> 00:19:24,328
Hmm. Well, I might
possibly be in menopause.
536
00:19:24,430 --> 00:19:26,330
Where's Judy Blume when
you need her, you know?
537
00:19:26,432 --> 00:19:28,366
There's no are you there God,
it's me menopause.
538
00:19:28,468 --> 00:19:29,400
And you know why?
539
00:19:29,502 --> 00:19:30,835
It's a short fucking book.
540
00:19:30,937 --> 00:19:31,836
Her bones turn to dust,
541
00:19:31,938 --> 00:19:33,171
she becomes invisible,
and then she dies.
542
00:19:33,273 --> 00:19:34,705
I do not think
you're invisible,
543
00:19:34,807 --> 00:19:36,541
but I do think your eyebrows
could use a little bit of help.
544
00:19:38,645 --> 00:19:40,378
Oh God, I look tired.
545
00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:41,345
It's okay.
546
00:19:41,447 --> 00:19:42,580
I can help with that.
547
00:19:42,682 --> 00:19:44,382
I'm gonna give you a
little bit of a pop.
548
00:19:45,084 --> 00:19:46,384
Just so we're clear,
549
00:19:47,287 --> 00:19:48,653
I didn't quit because of you.
550
00:19:49,956 --> 00:19:51,856
Michael cancelled
Big Important Ideas.
551
00:19:52,992 --> 00:19:56,027
Oh my god, girl, you
lost so many jobs today.
552
00:19:58,331 --> 00:19:59,597
I did.
553
00:19:59,699 --> 00:20:01,399
Okay. You're okay.
554
00:20:03,336 --> 00:20:04,702
What are ya feeling?
555
00:20:06,506 --> 00:20:10,208
Rage, hurt, disappointment.
556
00:20:11,544 --> 00:20:12,910
Those are a lot of feelings.
557
00:20:17,016 --> 00:20:18,449
Can't fix it all at once.
558
00:20:19,552 --> 00:20:20,418
We're gonna start with
matching eyebrows.
559
00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:22,420
Take a look.
560
00:20:22,522 --> 00:20:24,455
Little easy steps.
561
00:20:24,557 --> 00:20:26,257
Wow. Small achievable goals.
562
00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:28,659
You're good.
563
00:20:28,761 --> 00:20:31,462
Ah, yeah.
564
00:20:31,564 --> 00:20:33,297
Sometimes you gotta start
from the outside in.
565
00:20:33,399 --> 00:20:38,302
Okay, so what's your
first small achievable goal?
566
00:20:38,404 --> 00:20:39,670
Um...
567
00:20:41,574 --> 00:20:44,508
It is to make an adult
diaper look sexy.
568
00:20:44,611 --> 00:20:45,876
Mmm, not gonna happen.
569
00:20:45,979 --> 00:20:51,682
Um, stop
you from quitting?
570
00:20:51,784 --> 00:20:53,884
Oh, well, I do have
a hefty mortgage.
571
00:20:57,824 --> 00:20:59,290
Okay, I'll stay.
572
00:21:01,561 --> 00:21:03,427
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
573
00:21:05,598 --> 00:21:06,530
♪ Happy birthday ♪
574
00:21:06,633 --> 00:21:07,698
Oh really no.
575
00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:09,967
I'm gonna take
your picture now.
576
00:21:10,069 --> 00:21:10,968
What?
577
00:21:11,070 --> 00:21:12,103
You're gonna have to
pay for that cake.
578
00:21:12,205 --> 00:21:13,504
No, no, no, we didn't eat
it. It's her birthday.
579
00:21:13,606 --> 00:21:15,006
My name's not Scotty!
580
00:21:15,108 --> 00:21:16,440
Stop smiling.
581
00:21:16,542 --> 00:21:17,708
Put the peace sign down.
- Can we have a higher angle?
582
00:21:17,810 --> 00:21:18,776
No. Keep-
- You know, when you overflow
583
00:21:18,878 --> 00:21:19,777
you don't want
this to be noticed.
584
00:21:19,879 --> 00:21:20,778
Go up, pop up, pop up.
585
00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:21,779
It's not meant
to be flattering.
586
00:21:21,881 --> 00:21:23,314
Go low, go down.
41623
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