All language subtitles for In Treatment S04E03 Laila Week 1 1080p HMAX WEB-DL DD5 1 H 264-NTb (1)_track3_[eng]

-(birds chirping) -(car approaching)

(brakes creaking)

(engine revving)

-Is this it? -Mm-hmm.

Pull into the driveway, baby.

You think I'm walking one step

more than I have to in this heat?

Look, I really don't wanna do this.

Yeah. Well, neither do I.

Pull in.

Woman (on voicemail): And it's probably best to reach me in the mornings.

Oh! And I was referred by Yvonne White.

-(Brooke laughs) -She loves you.

I look forward to speaking.

Man (on voicemail): Hello, Ms. Taylor. This is John Keene

from Beacon Funeral Home.

We're still hoping to hear how you'd like to collect

your father's cremains.

We can personally deliver the urn,

or we're open for pickup seven days a week.

Thank you, Ms. Taylor, and God bless.

(car doors shut)

(light music playing)

♪

(footsteps approaching)

Hello.

-So, this is your home? -It is.

Why are you standing there, letting out all the cold air?

Hello.

Please come in.

Uh, you both can help yourself

to the hand sanitizer right there.

Mm.

Rhonda: I've heard so much about

-your office in Santa Monica. -Hmm!

-Marilyn Hudson says it's gorgeous. -You know Marilyn!

Everyone knows everyone around here, sweetheart. You know that.

Hm. I had a dietitian once where I went to her house.

Couldn't afford the rent on an office.

Well, unfortunately, my office is in a medical building.

I still have concerns about reopening there.

-But, this has worked out well enough. -Rhonda: Mm-hmm.

I'm very sorry to hear about your father.

I admired him.

Thank you, Rhonda.

Is-is this all his original design?

Would you like to see my silverware drawer?

When I was young, my mom wouldn't let me sleep over

at my friend's house, until she checked the forks

to make sure they were all clean.

(laughs)

-Why don't we have a seat? -Mm.

So, how does this work?

Two sessions? Three?

Ideally, I like to think of it as a process.

Sure, sure, but we're here for a specific problem.

-Uh, aren't we, Laila? -(pats couch)

My granddaughter here is choosing to be...

lesbian.

And this little girl needs to understand the consequences

of that choice in the real world.

I'm not saying I have any problem with it.

Love is love.

But Laila needs to understand that she was born Black,

she was born a woman,

and all that is hard enough without...

this other thing on top of it.

You see the news.

The gays and the lesbians are at higher risk for everything.

Failure, depression, addiction,

failure. And that...

Laila here is just too good for all that.

(scoffs)

Rhonda: Hand to God, Laila, you are.

It has been my privilege

to raise you up.

And there hasn't been one minute when I didn't want

the very best for you.

I know, Grandma.

Rhonda.

I have to ask what you're expecting

because this will not be any sort of

conversion therapy.

Who said conversion? I didn't say that.

I just want you to provide Laila with some tools and whatnot

for the real world.

She leaves for college in the fall,

out from under my roof.

And I want her to be ready.

That's the long and the short of it.

And my hope for Laila

is for her

to gain the clearest, fullest understanding of who she is

and who she wants to be.

Nothing more.

Well...

I have to get someone to look at these cuticles.

(giggling)

I'll be back in an hour. Keys.

(sighs)

Love you, baby.

(footsteps departing)

(door opens, shuts)

So...

Laila, what school are you going to in the fall?

Berkeley, Yale, doesn't matter.

-Why wouldn't it matter? -Well, is there really any difference between 'em?

Doesn't sound like you're too excited

about the prospect of college.

I mean, whatever Grandma wants, Grandma gets, right?

Ah.

Listen, Laila?

Time we spend in here, it's yours.

Doesn't matter who brought you or whatever

their goals are.

You can talk about...

whatever you want.

(scoffs)

Are you worried that I might

be uncomfortable discussing your sexual identity or preferences?

I don't know.

Let's find out.

Let's talk about the fact that I'm a sex addict.

What's the definition of a sex addict? For you.

Well, I imagine it's the same as yours.

A person who suffers from an intimacy disorder,

characterized by compulsive sexual thoughts and acts.

And why do you think that describes you?

Um, well, I don't know,

I feel like I'm addicted to sex.

Like I...

wanna have sex all the time, so yeah.

I feel like I'm addicted.

What does sex mean to you? As in...

how do you define sex?

I mean, anything. Everything.

Is watching pornography, is that sex?

Sure. I love porn.

Mostly just sex positive stuff, but...

also other stuff.

Sometimes I get bored when everyone's all soft and happy.

-Mm. -So it depends on my mood.

It's like what flavor of the patriarchy

do I want on my tongue today?

And do you masturbate while watching pornography?

Well, does anyone not?

How often do you masturbate?

Every day.

I mean... (scoffs)

sometimes, it's...

some days, most days.

And how often do you have sex with a partner? IRL.

Wow.

"IRL."

Relatable.

Ugh! My God! I'm joking!

-Fuck. Every day. Mm. -Every day?

I mean, sometimes it's less, but on average...

Let's be judicious.

Maybe five to six times a week.

How are you navigating that during the pandemic?

What, are you asking me if I'm safe?

'Cause there are ways. I'm... I'm always safe.

And does sex get in the way of school or...

Not... really.

So, you have enough time

between your schoolwork,

all your extracurricular activities,

the obligations a top-tier university require

to also engage in near-daily sexual activities?

Well...

I never have as much sex as I want to.

Hm.

Are you fulfilled by the sex you do have?

Sometimes.

Well then, why have sex if you're not fulfilled?

That is such a straight lady thing to say.

You know, I bet you have some romance novels around here

-somewhere. -Do you think anyone is straight?

Um...

I don't know. (scoffs) Probably not.

But you do think I am. Why?

(scoffs) Um,

I mean, you and me, we're not the same.

I mean, you're not...

you know.

-Not what? -In touch.

With your sexuality.

And why do you think you can tell me

anything about my sexuality?

You're right. I can't.

Sorry.

So, if you're not always fulfilled

by your sexual encounters,

are you focused on others' arousal?

-I know what I am, and that ain't it. -No?

What are you, Laila?

I thought that was your job.

To help me understand myself.

Do you want me to, like, do your job for you?

Honestly, it's been a week.

I would love that. (laughs)

Alright. Um...

(sighs) Let me, uh...

I'm 5-foot-6.

Mm, I'm a 4.4 GPA.

I'm a textbook Pisces. Love anime,

and Mia McKenzie.

I played Mrs. Lambchop in my fifth grade production

of "The Musical Adventures of Flat Stanley."

Wait, uh...

-what's your sign? -Virgo.

Of course it is.

All grounded and analytical

and earthy and shit.

Oh, and also plays well with Pisces.

Oh! You know about astrology?

I have been single long enough that I have had to learn.

Hm.

(sniffs) Alright.

What else...

(sighs)

I mean, you met my grandma, so you know that's...

-(laughs) The whole thing. -Hmm.

You're never gonna meet my dad.

Mm, sad face.

Because, uh,

I'm the only child of a workaholic,

so my daddy cares more about his cars at his dealership

than he does about me, and certainly more than

he ever did about my mom.

Which is how he ran her off, but

he makes up for it by buying me whatever I want

whenever I want it.

So I'm a poor little rich girl with daddy issues.

Hence, and therefore, the sex addiction.

So, did I, like...

did I do it? Did I... do I get a prize?

Honestly, Laila, it doesn't seem like

you welcome my perspective. I imagine...

you expect me to disapprove.

(giggles) I mean, of course you're gonna,

-like, disapprove. -Why?

I mean, how old are you?

Um, sorry, that's rude. But, like,

(scoffs) I mean, you gotta be like at least, like, 50.

Thank you. I'm 72.

Good Black don't crack.

Oh. (giggles)

I am 42.

So, that makes you, like,

Gen X?

Mm-hmm.

Apathetic, depressed,

-keeping it real when you were my age. -Well, that's the stereotype.

Yeah, I mean, like, keeping it so real, you didn't do shit.

You didn't do shit about the environment.

About global warming.

About mass incarceration.

About civil rights.

About deportations. About fucking racism. About anything.

All you did was just make your macramé and smoke your crack

and, like, I don't know, go to clubs or something?

-Crack and macramé? -Oh yeah.

Y'all were like, "Whatever. I can just drink.

"I can do drugs. I can throw out all of this plastic shit.

I can sit by and let niggas die as long as I'm gettin' mine."

I mean, you guys did that forever,

while the rest of the world burned.

Wow.

I mean, that's cute.

What's cute about that?

The fact that you have the nerve to try to tell me anything.

About how I choose to enjoy myself or my body.

Y'all left me with no hope, no fucking planet,

(scoffs) no future.

So this, my body, that's all I have.

Why shouldn't I enjoy it

while you fuck the rest of the world?

Someone who brings up

global warming and racial injustice to defend sex

doesn't sound like someone who actually enjoys it.

Aw...

So you're saying that queer girls don't like sex?

I'm not talking about sex.

I'm talking about pleasure.

There's sexual pleasure.

Contact, pressure, release.

Yeah. I love all that.

But there's also the pleasure of comfort.

Understanding.

People talk about butterflies, about electricity.

It's that...

feeling that can only be described

by the things we see so vibrantly,

we feel them.

Yeah, that kind of pleasure.

What's that you were thinking there?

What?

That look.

Wasn't...

Nothing.

Wow, uh, it's just...

(giggles) Sorry. This girl.

Tell me about this girl.

(giggles) Yeah, I mean, she's just...

uh... Sorry.

I just... I don't know what to say. I really don't.

What's her name?

Why don't you just tell me what you like about her?

Do I, like, have to?

(laughs) Do you have to? No, of course not.

But, honestly, Laila,

kinda seems like you want to.

It's, um...

It's just the last thing I need, you know?

What's that?

Another know-it-all telling me what to do all the time.

The only thing I know, Laila, is that I don't know it all.

So is that how you get all of your patients

to do what you want?

You play dumb?

(inhales)

Come with me to the kitchen.

♪ ♪

And, yes. You have to.

(scoffs)

My first year of college

was the first time the Easter Bunny didn't show.

Sad face.

(laughs)

So, I went and I cleared the aisle at Walgreens,

and... tradition was born.

-Where'd you go to school? -Stanford.

Obviously.

-Obviously? -Well,

there's a picture of me

at six months in a Stanford onesie.

-Oof. -(laughs)

I didn't like having to do all the applications.

-Hm. -But,

I liked the essays.

-Hm? -Some of the questions were, like,

so dumb that they were smart.

Sometimes.

-Like what? -Well,

one was imagining if you could

email an object.

There was, like, a whole story about why,

but basically, it was if you could

pick your favorite thing in the world and...

tell it anything you wanted.

Hm.

Sounds like an interesting essay.

-What did you write about? -(scoffs)

I ended up...

I mean, maybe it's stupid,

-but I ended up writing to my Barbie. -Hm.

And I'm fully aware that Barbie is highly problematic,

and I wrote about that, too.

Like how the waist-to-breast ratio is insane.

She doesn't have any organs and would like fall over

-if she was a real person. -(laughs)

It's like fake diversity

because they just make the white ones into

all of these different colors.

-And just pour different flavors into the same mold. -Hm.

It's like setting up girls to have,

like, a million different problems.

But,

I didn't know that when I was 6.

I wrote that

the reason that I played with Barbies when I was little

was because I got to be leader.

Hm.

They played whatever game I wanted to play,

and playing with dolls means you can do whatever you want.

So...

Sometimes, it's nice to be in charge of something.

Sometimes.

(scoffs) I guess I got to feel what it was like to be in a...

"leadership" position.

Sounds like it was a good essay.

Yeah.

I guess...

that's the thing. (laughs softly)

What?

The thing I like about Cara.

Oh.

-That's the name of your girl? Cara? -Mm.

She wants me to make the plans,

and she's cool to, like, let me be in charge.

Hm.

Sounds like she likes the ideas you have.

Maybe it's that she looks up to me a little bit.

Cara younger than you, Laila?

What?

I mean, like,

not in like a weird way. She's a freshman.

So that makes her how old?

Well, age ain't nothing but a number.

Do you know who wrote that song?

I don't know. It's, like, from before I was born.

You should Google it.

I ask

because you realize you're...

18, and she's what?

14? 15?

-I mean, she's not, like, a little kid. -I understand that.

-I'm not-- -We're, like, the same exact person, so...

But, based on your description of your sexual habits,

I'm assuming you're in an intimate relationship.

Yeah, but we're both in high school,

so I don't understand why you're, like, making it...

I mean, do you just wanna tell me what to say?

What to say? What do you mean?

Just give me a script and I can say it, and we can be done!

I wouldn't do that, Laila.

Then what am I supposed to do?

Are...

Are you asking me how therapy works?

Whatever.

(sighs)

Well, if I could sum up the best version in one word,

it would be authenticity.

You know what that means?

-Genuine. Real. -Mm-hmm.

The sense that things or people are

what they claim or appear to be.

So does that go for you, too?

You get all real when you're in here?

-Sometimes to a fault. -Hm.

Well, I did that today, and it, uh,

didn't make me feel any better, so...

So you were completely authentic in here today?

Well, I told you about my sex addiction.

I mean, who would tell you it in all of that detail

-if it wasn't real? -Hm...

And I told you about Cara,

so if you don't recognize the truth in that,

I don't know what to tell you.

But what have you told me about you?

Outside of the labels,

or the relationships you have,

or your GPA. None of that is capital "Y" you.

Okay.

Here's me being real.

I don't feel like I'm getting

the full picture from you, Laila.

Glimpses here and there, yes.

But the moment things start to come into focus, it's like...

(imitates explosion) It's gone.

But you know what?

That's on me.

I know I need to earn your trust, not demand it.

But sometimes, in my desire to help,

I have trouble accepting that things may not happen

on my timeline, or may not happen at all.

You know you don't have to be here, right, Laila?

You're 18.

Nobody can force you into this.

Yeah, but if I don't, like...

play along, you'll dime me out to my grandma.

As your therapist, anything that's said in here

is completely confidential.

(sighs)

You're right.

I am required to report any reasonable suspicion

that a patient is a danger to themselves or others.

But beyond that,

if I disclose anything, I'm in danger of losing my license.

But if I don't disclose anything, then...

well, we're good either way.

(laughs)

(sighs) How about this?

If you don't wanna be here,

I'll dig up a few pamphlets for your grandma

on LGBTQ+ support,

and I'll tell her that your queer identity

isn't an issue for you.

I believe that is true.

But if there is something else you wanna talk about...

Uh...

-(car horn) -Uh, that's Grandma. I gotta go.

No, we still have a few more minutes.

(scoffs) Sure.

After you sass Rhonda and get her all on her feelings,

she'll be cool to just, like, wait in the car?

Are you trying to get me killed?

Of course not.

Aw. You look so sad!

Come on, Dr. T! This was...

fun.

(door slams)

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪