All language subtitles for South.Park.17x10.asap.immerse.EN
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1
00:00:24,850 --> 00:00:27,310
La Fabrique
www.sous-titres.eu
2
00:00:30,230 --> 00:00:32,820
Yeah, yeah, do we rock?
Yeah, yeah, take it to the top!
3
00:00:33,190 --> 00:00:35,450
Yeah, yeah, are we gonna stop?
No way! No way!
4
00:00:35,570 --> 00:00:37,120
Cheer squad roll call!
5
00:00:37,240 --> 00:00:38,530
– Heidi!
– Nicole!
6
00:00:38,660 --> 00:00:39,950
– Bebe!
– Lola!
7
00:00:40,080 --> 00:00:41,580
– Red!
– Annie!
8
00:00:42,330 --> 00:00:44,000
Lisa Burger.
9
00:00:44,410 --> 00:00:45,830
– Oh, God.
– Here we go.
10
00:00:45,960 --> 00:00:48,330
Could we maybe try one
without Lisa Berger?
11
00:00:48,460 --> 00:00:50,050
You guys, stop it!
12
00:00:50,340 --> 00:00:53,880
OK, Lisa, that’s great,
but you need to have more confidence.
13
00:00:54,010 --> 00:00:56,300
– But I’m the fat one.
– What?
14
00:00:56,430 --> 00:00:59,760
Every cheerleading squad has
the fat ugly cheerleader, and that’s me.
15
00:00:59,890 --> 00:01:02,520
See, that’s the problem, Lisa.
You have a bad self-image.
16
00:01:02,640 --> 00:01:05,850
Just project all your sassiness
to all the boys out there.
17
00:01:06,020 --> 00:01:08,480
There’s only one boy
that Lisa cares about.
18
00:01:09,020 --> 00:01:11,900
– Lisa has a crush on Butters.
– Shut up!
19
00:01:12,030 --> 00:01:14,990
But Lisa, that’s great!
Have you told Butters you like him?
20
00:01:15,110 --> 00:01:17,280
No way.
I’d just get made fun of.
21
00:01:18,030 --> 00:01:21,790
This is exactly what you need.
Take Butters to see a movie.
22
00:01:21,910 --> 00:01:24,330
It’ll do wonders for your confidence.
23
00:01:25,370 --> 00:01:27,790
Then the fella with the mustache
eats all the cupcakes,
24
00:01:27,920 --> 00:01:30,670
and the lady takes out a gun
and puts it in his face and says…
25
00:01:30,790 --> 00:01:32,380
Excuse me, Butters.
26
00:01:36,130 --> 00:01:38,090
I was just wondering
27
00:01:38,510 --> 00:01:41,390
if maybe you’d like to go
to a movie this weekend.
28
00:01:42,810 --> 00:01:44,640
Like a date?
No, thanks, Lisa.
29
00:01:44,770 --> 00:01:47,440
I really appreciate the offer,
but you’re too fat for me.
30
00:01:48,140 --> 00:01:49,560
OK. Thanks.
31
00:01:50,440 --> 00:01:51,480
See you, Lisa!
32
00:01:52,320 --> 00:01:54,150
Butters got asked out by a fat girl.
33
00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:56,320
At least,
she didn’t try to sit on him.
34
00:01:56,860 --> 00:01:58,950
You guys, come on.
That’s not cool.
35
00:01:59,070 --> 00:02:01,030
You shouldn’t rip on her
because she’s fat.
36
00:02:01,320 --> 00:02:03,450
You should rip on her
because she’s ugly.
37
00:02:03,580 --> 00:02:07,330
She looks like someone hit her
in the face with a hot shovel.
38
00:02:13,710 --> 00:02:16,460
– What the fuck is your problem?
– Hey, Wendy.
39
00:02:16,590 --> 00:02:18,720
Are you just an asshole?
Is that it?
40
00:02:19,180 --> 00:02:21,220
Am I just an asshole?
41
00:02:21,340 --> 00:02:23,600
I’ve got arms and legs.
I’ve got everything.
42
00:02:23,720 --> 00:02:25,850
Lisa Burger asked you out
and you called her fat?
43
00:02:26,140 --> 00:02:28,430
Do you have any idea
how you made her feel?
44
00:02:28,560 --> 00:02:29,640
She’s really nice!
45
00:02:29,980 --> 00:02:32,730
I think she’s nice too.
She’s just too big for me.
46
00:02:32,900 --> 00:02:34,270
She’s a little overweight,
47
00:02:34,400 --> 00:02:36,570
but that’s normal
for a girl in the fourth grade!
48
00:02:36,690 --> 00:02:39,530
Kim Kardashian is skinny,
and she just had a baby!
49
00:02:40,570 --> 00:02:44,120
I have a different standard
when it comes to my women.
50
00:02:44,620 --> 00:02:47,540
I want a woman who takes care of herself
and knows how to look good,
51
00:02:47,700 --> 00:02:50,250
who’s got perfect skin,
and no splotches on her legs,
52
00:02:50,370 --> 00:02:51,790
and perfect everything.
53
00:02:52,540 --> 00:02:56,460
This is a fantasy, you moron!
You ever heard of Photoshop?
54
00:02:56,590 --> 00:03:00,050
Kim Kardashian is short and overweight,
she manipulates her image,
55
00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:02,640
and makes average girls
feel horrible about themselves.
56
00:03:02,760 --> 00:03:05,140
– You’re a liar!
– Look it up, stupid!
57
00:03:05,260 --> 00:03:08,430
In real life, Kim Kardashian
has the body of a hobbit.
58
00:03:09,980 --> 00:03:11,480
You’re gonna be in real trouble
59
00:03:11,600 --> 00:03:14,440
when the teachers find out
what you said to that poor girl.
60
00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:20,360
Take a seat, Wendy.
61
00:03:20,490 --> 00:03:23,450
Some mean things were said,
and I need to get to the bottom of it.
62
00:03:24,320 --> 00:03:26,370
Lisa Burger told on you?
Good!
63
00:03:27,620 --> 00:03:30,460
Apparently, you called
Butters’ girlfriend a hobbit.
64
00:03:32,170 --> 00:03:33,460
Are you serious?
65
00:03:33,580 --> 00:03:37,090
You did! You said Kim is short, fat,
hairy with big feet, and she’s a hobbit!
66
00:03:37,210 --> 00:03:40,050
That’s not his girlfriend.
It’s Kim Kardashian!
67
00:03:40,340 --> 00:03:44,720
But Kim Kardashian is considered
to be extremely beautiful.
68
00:03:45,050 --> 00:03:47,640
Right. But she’s not in real life.
She’s a hobbit.
69
00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:49,140
She said it again!
70
00:03:49,310 --> 00:03:51,640
Now, Kim might be full-figured,
71
00:03:51,770 --> 00:03:54,850
but a woman’s outward appearance
isn’t all that matters.
72
00:03:54,980 --> 00:03:58,480
Have you stopped to consider
that maybe, just maybe,
73
00:03:58,610 --> 00:03:59,610
you’re jel?
74
00:04:01,650 --> 00:04:02,860
I’m not jel.
75
00:04:02,990 --> 00:04:05,240
I happen to be
the biggest feminist at this school.
76
00:04:05,490 --> 00:04:09,080
That may be true,
but there’s a very fine line,
77
00:04:09,200 --> 00:04:11,830
between being a feminist
and being a hater.
78
00:04:12,830 --> 00:04:17,290
And you’re gonna have to find that line,
because nobody likes a girl who’s jelly.
79
00:04:18,090 --> 00:04:21,130
OK, kids, there’s been
some hurtful and hateful things
80
00:04:21,260 --> 00:04:22,760
being said around this school.
81
00:04:23,220 --> 00:04:25,550
And so, we’re gonna hear
from a guest speaker.
82
00:04:25,930 --> 00:04:30,100
Here to explain
why Kim Kardashian is not a hobbit,
83
00:04:30,220 --> 00:04:32,430
please welcome Aquaman.
84
00:04:34,190 --> 00:04:35,060
That’s right.
85
00:04:36,810 --> 00:04:41,530
First of all, I’m not Aquaman.
I’m a recovering gay fish.
86
00:04:41,820 --> 00:04:45,280
Yes, I have met Aquaman.
I have hung out with Aquaman.
87
00:04:45,410 --> 00:04:48,030
But the only thing I have in common
with Aquaman anymore
88
00:04:48,160 --> 00:04:49,700
is my love for the sea.
89
00:04:50,790 --> 00:04:51,790
Now,
90
00:04:52,620 --> 00:04:57,250
there have been malicious rumors
started at this elementary school
91
00:04:57,380 --> 00:05:01,130
that my beautiful fiancée
is a hobbit.
92
00:05:02,130 --> 00:05:06,050
That is not funny,
and it is not true, all right?
93
00:05:06,550 --> 00:05:09,470
Yes, Kim is heavier than most
of her pictures show her to be.
94
00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:12,100
Yes, she gets her hair
lasered off her body.
95
00:05:12,220 --> 00:05:16,230
Yes, she has a friend named Gandalf
who happens to be a wizard.
96
00:05:18,060 --> 00:05:19,810
I’m sorry.
Excuse me a minute.
97
00:05:22,480 --> 00:05:24,570
Bitch, how you not the hobbit again?
98
00:05:26,570 --> 00:05:28,740
Right. OK.
99
00:05:29,410 --> 00:05:31,080
Let me… OK.
I got it.
100
00:05:31,410 --> 00:05:32,540
Love you too.
101
00:05:34,410 --> 00:05:37,580
If my fiancée Kim is a hobbit,
102
00:05:37,710 --> 00:05:39,290
then how come…
103
00:05:41,090 --> 00:05:42,380
If she’s a hobbit,
104
00:05:42,500 --> 00:05:45,590
then how come
she don’t live in a hole in the ground?
105
00:05:46,590 --> 00:05:48,470
Y’all just got lit up, cup!
106
00:05:48,630 --> 00:05:52,260
She don’t live in no hole in no ground.
She lives in a big-ass mansion with me.
107
00:05:52,390 --> 00:05:54,810
In her room
that is slightly below ground.
108
00:05:54,930 --> 00:05:56,640
So, you can…
109
00:05:57,440 --> 00:06:00,310
She is sexy and womanly,
and she smokes a pipe.
110
00:06:00,440 --> 00:06:03,440
She can blow them rings
that go up over her head, and…
111
00:06:03,940 --> 00:06:04,940
Hold up.
112
00:06:07,570 --> 00:06:09,530
Bitch, you not a hobbit, right?
113
00:06:10,070 --> 00:06:13,580
You smoke that long pipe sometimes
when you sit by the fire.
114
00:06:15,830 --> 00:06:17,620
Got it.
What do you call it?
115
00:06:18,080 --> 00:06:20,040
Got it.
Love you too.
116
00:06:21,130 --> 00:06:24,170
That is not a hobbit pipe,
for your information.
117
00:06:24,300 --> 00:06:26,590
It is a personal oral humidifier,
118
00:06:26,710 --> 00:06:28,930
to keep the wrinkles
around her mouth from showing.
119
00:06:29,050 --> 00:06:31,220
So, ha, ha!
All you haters, ha!
120
00:06:35,470 --> 00:06:38,020
– Come here for a sec.
– Oh, no, you don’t!
121
00:06:38,140 --> 00:06:40,690
You’re not trapping me
inside the computer lab to beat me up.
122
00:06:40,810 --> 00:06:43,860
Would you let me show you something
so we can put this behind us?
123
00:06:43,980 --> 00:06:46,650
All right, but if you try to punch me,
I’ll scream.
124
00:06:48,360 --> 00:06:51,910
I want you to see just how easy this is,
so we can better understand each other.
125
00:06:52,030 --> 00:06:54,240
This is Lisa Burger’s
class photo, right?
126
00:06:55,200 --> 00:06:57,700
First thing we do is
photoshop the bulges on the sides,
127
00:06:57,830 --> 00:07:01,040
we make the eyes a nicer shape,
take off any blemishes on her skin,
128
00:07:01,170 --> 00:07:04,290
lengthen the neck, add more to the hair,
make the lips fuller,
129
00:07:04,590 --> 00:07:07,460
take out any puffiness on her skin,
add fullness to the breast,
130
00:07:07,590 --> 00:07:09,760
length to the torso,
take away that fold of skin,
131
00:07:09,880 --> 00:07:12,140
streamline the shoulders,
put highlights in the eyes,
132
00:07:12,260 --> 00:07:13,590
and… there.
133
00:07:14,140 --> 00:07:17,520
– That’s Lisa Burger?
– Do you see what I’m talking about?
134
00:07:17,890 --> 00:07:20,390
– She’s pretty!
– That’s how people like Kim Kardashian
135
00:07:20,520 --> 00:07:22,980
destroy the self-image
of little girls everywhere!
136
00:07:23,100 --> 00:07:26,480
Hold up, are you saying
that girl wants to go out with me?
137
00:07:26,610 --> 00:07:28,860
– What do you mean?
– And I said no?
138
00:07:28,990 --> 00:07:31,570
I gotta upload this,
and then go buy her some flowers,
139
00:07:31,700 --> 00:07:33,240
and then go tell her I love her!
140
00:07:39,950 --> 00:07:41,660
Anybody seen Lisa Burger?
141
00:07:42,500 --> 00:07:43,880
Have you seen Lisa Burger?
142
00:07:44,040 --> 00:07:46,000
I saw that picture of her
on the Internet.
143
00:07:46,130 --> 00:07:47,840
I’m gonna tell her I love her,
144
00:07:47,960 --> 00:07:50,130
and we’re gonna be together
and be happy forever.
145
00:07:50,670 --> 00:07:52,880
I don’t know
how to tell you this, but…
146
00:07:53,010 --> 00:07:54,840
Lisa Burger’s going out with Clyde.
147
00:07:54,970 --> 00:07:56,760
What?
Since when?
148
00:07:56,890 --> 00:07:59,310
Since like noon or 12:30 today.
149
00:08:08,570 --> 00:08:10,230
Check out my girlfriend.
150
00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:14,990
– She’s hot.
– We just started dating seriously.
151
00:08:15,450 --> 00:08:17,030
You wanna meet my new girlfriend?
152
00:08:17,160 --> 00:08:20,080
– You’re a lucky guy!
– I know.
153
00:08:21,580 --> 00:08:22,870
Nice score, dude.
154
00:08:23,790 --> 00:08:25,080
Thanks, guys.
155
00:08:28,130 --> 00:08:30,210
Did you see Clyde’s
going out with Lisa Burger?
156
00:08:30,340 --> 00:08:32,630
She looks amazing.
Clyde sent me her pics.
157
00:08:32,760 --> 00:08:36,890
– She got really hot all of a sudden.
– I wouldn’t mind tapping that ass.
158
00:08:37,010 --> 00:08:38,350
Excuse me.
159
00:08:39,260 --> 00:08:41,970
– Clyde sent me these. Don’t be jel.
– Why would I be jel?
160
00:08:42,310 --> 00:08:44,230
You gotta admit.
Lisa Burger’s pretty hot.
161
00:08:44,520 --> 00:08:46,810
She’s not hot.
That’s supposed to be the point!
162
00:08:46,980 --> 00:08:48,360
She looks pretty hot here.
163
00:08:48,520 --> 00:08:52,150
Lisa Burger is not hot!
She’s fat and ugly.
164
00:08:52,320 --> 00:08:55,570
– That’s not very nice.
– What’s your problem?
165
00:08:56,450 --> 00:08:59,700
– It’s nothing personal, Lisa.
– You’re just a hater.
166
00:08:59,830 --> 00:09:02,540
Mind your own business
instead of being jelly.
167
00:09:02,660 --> 00:09:06,170
I am not jelly!
I made that picture to prove a point!
168
00:09:06,290 --> 00:09:08,880
– And it’s being taken the wrong way!
– It’s OK, babe.
169
00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:11,090
Girls like that
will always put you down.
170
00:09:11,210 --> 00:09:12,460
Thanks, babe.
171
00:09:12,630 --> 00:09:15,260
Now, Wendy,
I’ve tried to be patient with you,
172
00:09:15,420 --> 00:09:17,510
because you’ve always been
a good student.
173
00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:21,260
But calling a little girl fat and ugly
is never m’kay.
174
00:09:21,560 --> 00:09:23,390
I was trying to show kids that…
175
00:09:23,560 --> 00:09:27,600
No excuses.
You have a problem being jelly.
176
00:09:27,730 --> 00:09:30,480
Just maybe I should have you
sent off to Jelly School.
177
00:09:30,820 --> 00:09:31,770
Jelly School?
178
00:09:31,940 --> 00:09:35,320
I’m gonna call
the Jelly School right now!
179
00:09:35,440 --> 00:09:38,410
I’m sorry about this,
but it’s gone too far.
180
00:09:38,530 --> 00:09:40,240
Hello, is this the Jelly School?
181
00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:42,450
I have a girl here
who’s extremely jelly.
182
00:09:42,580 --> 00:09:44,500
Can you take her in for a few weeks?
183
00:09:45,370 --> 00:09:46,580
You’re full?
184
00:09:46,750 --> 00:09:50,420
She dodged the bullet this time,
but she better watch her behavior.
185
00:09:51,130 --> 00:09:53,750
I appreciate the point
you’re trying to make.
186
00:09:54,760 --> 00:09:56,090
You do?
187
00:09:56,760 --> 00:10:00,680
I’m not actually on the phone
with the Jelly School.
188
00:10:01,550 --> 00:10:03,810
I’m a few steps ahead of that.
189
00:10:04,220 --> 00:10:06,060
I’m just trying to…
190
00:10:06,180 --> 00:10:07,560
Bye, Jelly School.
191
00:10:08,020 --> 00:10:10,020
I’m just trying
to make you understand
192
00:10:10,150 --> 00:10:12,610
how serious it is
when you lash out at other girls.
193
00:10:12,980 --> 00:10:15,070
Thank you, Mr. Mackey.
I will change.
194
00:10:20,360 --> 00:10:21,780
Ladies and gentlemen,
195
00:10:21,910 --> 00:10:25,160
it is my honor to give
the Person of the Year award
196
00:10:25,290 --> 00:10:27,000
to this year’s winner,
197
00:10:27,120 --> 00:10:28,540
Pope Francis.
198
00:10:38,590 --> 00:10:40,890
All of my children…
199
00:10:41,010 --> 00:10:44,260
Hold up!
I’m sorry, Pope, but hold up.
200
00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:46,390
I just gotta say this.
201
00:10:46,520 --> 00:10:50,980
If my fiancée is a hobbit, then…
202
00:10:52,230 --> 00:10:53,610
Then what, bitch?
203
00:10:55,440 --> 00:10:59,320
If she was…
if she is a hobbit,
204
00:10:59,450 --> 00:11:03,410
then how come she don’t turn blue
when goblins are near?
205
00:11:03,530 --> 00:11:07,160
You didn’t think of that!
I guess she’s not a hobbit, then!
206
00:11:07,290 --> 00:11:09,870
She must be a beautiful sexy woman!
207
00:11:10,290 --> 00:11:13,460
The hobbit doesn’t turn blue
around goblins,
208
00:11:13,580 --> 00:11:15,250
just his sword does.
209
00:11:15,380 --> 00:11:17,960
Man, get the fuck out of here,
you hobbit trivia bitch!
210
00:11:18,090 --> 00:11:19,590
Who the fuck asked you?
211
00:11:19,720 --> 00:11:23,180
Nobody is talking any more shit
about my woman, all right?
212
00:11:23,340 --> 00:11:24,890
She is gorgeous.
213
00:11:25,010 --> 00:11:28,140
If she was here, you could all see
for yourself how beautiful she is,
214
00:11:28,270 --> 00:11:31,940
but she has a movie
coming out on Friday,
215
00:11:32,060 --> 00:11:35,360
directed by Peter Jackson,
called The Hobbit.
216
00:11:35,900 --> 00:11:36,940
Hold up.
217
00:11:38,440 --> 00:11:41,150
Bitch, that movie you got coming out
is called The Hobbit?
218
00:11:42,030 --> 00:11:44,410
Yeah, but…
It’s what?
219
00:11:46,280 --> 00:11:47,950
I got it.
Let me tell them.
220
00:11:48,080 --> 00:11:49,080
Love you too.
221
00:11:49,910 --> 00:11:52,250
Kim is not even in that movie.
222
00:11:52,370 --> 00:11:55,290
That movie is just loosely based
on her television show,
223
00:11:55,420 --> 00:11:57,090
Keeping Up with the Kardashians,
224
00:11:57,210 --> 00:12:01,010
a show about short loud little people
living in a fantasy world.
225
00:12:01,130 --> 00:12:02,430
Hold up.
226
00:12:04,510 --> 00:12:06,680
If you’re the hobbit,
let me know right now,
227
00:12:06,800 --> 00:12:09,270
’cause I’m making a fool
of myself out here.
228
00:12:09,890 --> 00:12:12,770
Yeah, yeah, do we rock?
Yeah, yeah, take it to the top!
229
00:12:12,940 --> 00:12:15,810
Yeah, yeah, are we gonna stop?
No way! No way!
230
00:12:15,940 --> 00:12:17,440
Cheer squad roll call!
231
00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:19,190
– Heidi!
– Nicole!
232
00:12:19,320 --> 00:12:20,740
– Bebe!
– Lola!
233
00:12:20,860 --> 00:12:22,860
– Red!
– Annie!
234
00:12:22,990 --> 00:12:24,570
Lisa Burger!
235
00:12:27,450 --> 00:12:29,790
And I’m your captain, Wendy!
236
00:12:41,880 --> 00:12:46,050
We’re all very happy for Lisa.
Nobody here is jelly.
237
00:12:46,180 --> 00:12:48,720
But the boys don’t even notice
the rest of us anymore.
238
00:12:48,850 --> 00:12:52,890
All we’re asking is you do for us
what you did for Lisa.
239
00:12:53,020 --> 00:12:56,400
– I won’t do it, you guys. I’m sorry.
– Don’t you care about us?
240
00:12:56,520 --> 00:12:57,860
Because it’s wrong.
241
00:12:58,020 --> 00:13:01,440
If you aren’t happy with your looks,
that’s your problem.
242
00:13:02,940 --> 00:13:04,110
Hey, girls.
243
00:13:04,570 --> 00:13:05,700
Don’t be sad.
244
00:13:05,820 --> 00:13:09,660
If you wanna look really hot, like me,
you just gotta be willing to sweat.
245
00:13:09,780 --> 00:13:11,740
Get down to the gym and work!
246
00:13:17,670 --> 00:13:20,920
All right, girls, we’re gonna trim
that fat and tone those bodies.
247
00:13:21,090 --> 00:13:22,760
Let’s do this.
You first.
248
00:13:24,220 --> 00:13:25,550
Get right up there.
249
00:13:26,300 --> 00:13:27,760
All right, look here.
250
00:13:31,260 --> 00:13:33,680
Come on, burn it off!
You got this!
251
00:13:33,810 --> 00:13:34,890
Wanna look pretty?
252
00:13:35,810 --> 00:13:37,230
You want a boyfriend?
253
00:13:37,560 --> 00:13:38,650
You want a nice ass?
254
00:13:41,020 --> 00:13:42,650
You better work out, slut!
255
00:13:46,070 --> 00:13:47,780
You want nice things?
256
00:13:48,360 --> 00:13:50,320
You want boys
to give you nice things?
257
00:13:52,280 --> 00:13:54,080
You better work out, slut!
258
00:13:54,410 --> 00:13:56,710
Look at those thighs.
You gotta push harder!
259
00:13:57,370 --> 00:13:59,290
Now get to work, slut!
260
00:13:59,960 --> 00:14:01,340
Party in the cookie trough!
261
00:14:05,630 --> 00:14:06,920
You better work out, whore!
262
00:14:11,720 --> 00:14:13,390
– She looks great.
– Look at Bebe.
263
00:14:14,100 --> 00:14:17,850
– I had no idea Bebe was that hot.
– But did you see Token’s girlfriend?
264
00:14:21,060 --> 00:14:24,400
– My bitch is still the hottest.
– No way. Go back to Annie Nelson.
265
00:14:24,570 --> 00:14:26,150
She’s built like a Slim Jim.
266
00:14:26,320 --> 00:14:29,700
Annie Nelson is the hottest girl.
Look at those eyes!
267
00:14:29,820 --> 00:14:33,530
Did you not see Erica Smith’s boobs?
They’re like perfect water balloons.
268
00:14:33,660 --> 00:14:35,490
I do love water balloons.
269
00:14:41,960 --> 00:14:43,590
Can I ask you a big favor?
270
00:14:44,170 --> 00:14:47,460
A lot of the pictures I have of you
are kinda outdated, and…
271
00:14:47,590 --> 00:14:49,300
I wanna show everyone
how pretty you are.
272
00:14:49,430 --> 00:14:52,550
You want a photoshopped picture of me
to take away any imperfections?
273
00:14:52,680 --> 00:14:53,970
How dare you?
274
00:14:54,140 --> 00:14:55,680
Why is it such a big deal?
275
00:14:55,810 --> 00:14:58,180
People should be OK
with the way they look!
276
00:14:58,310 --> 00:15:01,900
I have pimples on my forehead.
My bottom teeth are crooked. So what?
277
00:15:02,020 --> 00:15:04,270
– You have short legs!
– I do?
278
00:15:04,730 --> 00:15:07,400
And Jason has freckles,
and Billy Turner has narrow shoulders.
279
00:15:07,530 --> 00:15:08,530
The cheerleaders?
280
00:15:08,650 --> 00:15:10,570
Bebe has acne.
Lola’s arms are too short.
281
00:15:10,700 --> 00:15:12,910
Nicole’s eyes are puffy.
Annie has thin hair.
282
00:15:13,030 --> 00:15:15,450
And Heidi Turner’s butt is flat!
283
00:15:17,830 --> 00:15:21,670
– Goddammit.
– You… hater!
284
00:15:22,500 --> 00:15:24,420
In my office, right now!
285
00:15:29,550 --> 00:15:32,550
One thing I know,
my girl ain’t no hobbit
286
00:15:32,720 --> 00:15:35,550
She might be stumpy,
that don’t mean she a hobbit
287
00:15:35,720 --> 00:15:37,770
She’s not a hobbit,
’cause she couldn’t be
288
00:15:38,560 --> 00:15:41,390
She’s got no Bagginses
in her family tree
289
00:15:41,560 --> 00:15:44,730
Yes, on occasion,
she hangs out with her dwarf friends
290
00:15:44,860 --> 00:15:47,860
But she never went on no quest
with her dwarf friends
291
00:15:47,980 --> 00:15:50,690
Except for one time,
she went to kill that dragon
292
00:15:50,860 --> 00:15:52,570
She took his skull and she…
293
00:15:52,700 --> 00:15:54,700
Hang on. I’m sorry.
294
00:15:57,950 --> 00:16:00,960
Bitch, remember when you went off
to kill that dragon with them dwarves?
295
00:16:03,040 --> 00:16:05,130
Right. I got it.
296
00:16:05,250 --> 00:16:06,250
Love you too.
297
00:16:06,840 --> 00:16:09,920
It wasn’t no dragon,
so my girl ain’t no hobbit
298
00:16:10,090 --> 00:16:13,180
That was a Quiznos,
and my bitch went to rob it
299
00:16:13,550 --> 00:16:16,180
’Cause they got that ham
that she rubs on her cellulite
300
00:16:16,300 --> 00:16:19,640
While she drinkin’ her grog
and singin’ those merry songs
301
00:16:19,770 --> 00:16:20,930
At night
302
00:16:21,100 --> 00:16:23,020
My girl ain’t no hobbit
303
00:16:23,140 --> 00:16:26,270
Please God tell me
I’m not engaged to no hobbit
304
00:16:30,230 --> 00:16:32,700
Who are you yelling for?
South Park!
305
00:16:32,860 --> 00:16:33,820
Let’s go, cows!
306
00:16:33,950 --> 00:16:36,280
Who are you yelling for?
South Park!
307
00:16:36,410 --> 00:16:37,530
Let’s go, cows!
308
00:16:37,700 --> 00:16:39,540
Heidi! Nicole!
Bebe! Lola!
309
00:16:39,660 --> 00:16:40,660
Red! Annie!
310
00:16:40,790 --> 00:16:42,450
Lisa Burger!
311
00:16:43,120 --> 00:16:44,120
Wendy.
312
00:16:44,420 --> 00:16:46,250
– She sucks!
– Oh, God!
313
00:16:46,380 --> 00:16:48,840
– Can we try this without Wendy?
– I agree.
314
00:16:48,960 --> 00:16:52,170
Come on, you guys!
She just needs more confidence.
315
00:16:52,340 --> 00:16:53,630
It’s OK, Wendy.
316
00:16:53,760 --> 00:16:57,760
Who cares if no one likes you.
Maybe you should go out with Butters.
317
00:16:58,180 --> 00:17:00,180
Let’s just get back to cheering.
318
00:17:00,350 --> 00:17:03,020
I don’t think so.
We don’t wanna cheer with a hater!
319
00:17:03,680 --> 00:17:05,520
You have a bad self-image.
320
00:17:05,640 --> 00:17:07,980
You need to get down to the gym
and get a better one.
321
00:17:08,520 --> 00:17:09,610
That’s right!
322
00:17:09,730 --> 00:17:12,780
See, the problem with having
fake pictures of yourself,
323
00:17:12,900 --> 00:17:16,110
is that you start to believe
in your own bullshit!
324
00:17:16,240 --> 00:17:17,740
This has gone way too far.
325
00:17:17,910 --> 00:17:20,240
And if society won’t fix it, I will!
326
00:17:20,410 --> 00:17:21,410
What will you do?
327
00:17:21,580 --> 00:17:24,660
Something that should have been done
a long time ago.
328
00:17:27,960 --> 00:17:31,090
It’s the morning News
with Tom and Tammy Thompson.
329
00:17:31,590 --> 00:17:33,920
A little girl is making big waves
330
00:17:34,050 --> 00:17:37,050
with her fight against Photoshop.
331
00:17:37,180 --> 00:17:39,970
Nine-year-old Wendy Testaburger
has started a campaign,
332
00:17:40,100 --> 00:17:44,810
and will speak before the State Senate
to ban the use of photoshopped images,
333
00:17:44,930 --> 00:17:47,270
saying they’re harmful
to young girls.
334
00:17:47,560 --> 00:17:49,480
Young lady, what is your message?
335
00:17:49,650 --> 00:17:51,980
Watching what Photoshop
is doing to society,
336
00:17:52,110 --> 00:17:55,740
little girls are aspiring to have bodies
they can’t possibly have!
337
00:17:55,860 --> 00:17:57,740
We have to put a stop to it.
338
00:17:57,910 --> 00:18:00,490
And you’re not just being a hater?
339
00:18:02,490 --> 00:18:06,750
Sometimes, girls who aren’t well-liked
lash out at pretty and popular girls.
340
00:18:06,870 --> 00:18:08,710
Are you well-liked at your school?
341
00:18:10,040 --> 00:18:11,710
Not lately.
342
00:18:12,630 --> 00:18:14,340
But you’re not being jelly?
343
00:18:15,170 --> 00:18:18,930
That has nothing to do with me
protesting against photoshopped images.
344
00:18:19,050 --> 00:18:21,720
Because I do understand
that the Jelly School in Aurora
345
00:18:21,850 --> 00:18:23,850
is ready to take you in.
Is that right, Rick?
346
00:18:24,010 --> 00:18:26,100
Tom, I’m standing in front
of the Jelly School
347
00:18:26,230 --> 00:18:29,350
where officials claim they do
have room for this little hater girl.
348
00:18:29,480 --> 00:18:31,270
We’re being told
if she doesn’t stop…
349
00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:34,530
That’s not a Jelly School.
That’s a Dunkin’ Donuts.
350
00:18:36,990 --> 00:18:38,700
But you are a hater.
351
00:18:38,820 --> 00:18:39,860
That’s fine!
352
00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:43,200
People can call me
whatever names they want to.
353
00:18:43,330 --> 00:18:46,290
There’s a cancer in our country,
and I’m not going to rest
354
00:18:46,410 --> 00:18:50,580
until photoshopped images are required
to be labeled for what they are: fake.
355
00:18:50,750 --> 00:18:54,340
And nothing in his world
is going to stop me.
356
00:19:07,770 --> 00:19:08,850
What do you want?
357
00:19:12,270 --> 00:19:14,020
“Once upon a time,
358
00:19:14,150 --> 00:19:16,940
“there was a little hobbit
who lived in the forest.
359
00:19:17,230 --> 00:19:20,860
“And all the hobbit ever wanted
was to be beautiful.
360
00:19:21,570 --> 00:19:24,700
“And even though
she was short and fat and hairy,
361
00:19:25,160 --> 00:19:29,160
“this hobbit dreamed that one day,
she could be pretty like Beyoncé.
362
00:19:31,250 --> 00:19:35,500
“And then one day, along came
a magic powder called Photoshop.
363
00:19:36,130 --> 00:19:39,800
“And just like that, poof!
The little hobbit was beautiful.
364
00:19:40,720 --> 00:19:45,680
“And even though she still couldn’t sing
like Beyoncé, or dance like Beyoncé,
365
00:19:45,800 --> 00:19:49,930
“or act like Beyoncé,
or be a decent human being like Beyoncé,
366
00:19:50,270 --> 00:19:52,600
“the little hobbit was looked up to
and loved…
367
00:19:52,940 --> 00:19:54,400
“just like Beyoncé!
368
00:19:55,440 --> 00:19:57,770
“Soon, she had money and adoration,
369
00:19:57,900 --> 00:19:59,860
“and a hip-hop fiancé
who loved her very much.”
370
00:19:59,990 --> 00:20:01,360
I’m sorry. Hold up.
371
00:20:02,950 --> 00:20:04,240
Hold up. I’m sorry.
372
00:20:05,450 --> 00:20:07,160
“Everything was good for the hobbit,
373
00:20:07,280 --> 00:20:10,330
“but then this mean little girl
called the jelly monster,
374
00:20:10,580 --> 00:20:14,330
“she was so jelly of the hobbit
that she told everyone she was a liar.
375
00:20:14,920 --> 00:20:17,380
“And the hobbit’s fiancé realized
she was just a hobbit.
376
00:20:17,500 --> 00:20:18,880
“And you know what he said?
377
00:20:19,050 --> 00:20:20,800
“He said, I don’t care!
378
00:20:21,340 --> 00:20:25,180
“Then the jelly monster tried to take
the powder away from the little hobbit.
379
00:20:25,800 --> 00:20:27,640
“So the hobbit prayed to God.
380
00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:30,270
“And God said,
don’t worry, little hobbit.
381
00:20:30,390 --> 00:20:32,230
“I will go find
this jelly monster girl,
382
00:20:32,350 --> 00:20:34,940
“and I will read her a story
and melt her icy heart.
383
00:20:36,060 --> 00:20:37,520
“And the hobbit said, thank you.
384
00:20:37,650 --> 00:20:40,030
“And the hobbit and God
lived happily ever after,
385
00:20:40,150 --> 00:20:41,690
”’cause I love her so much.”
386
00:20:42,900 --> 00:20:45,200
I’m sorry. Hold up…
387
00:20:46,620 --> 00:20:47,660
I’m sorry.
388
00:20:47,780 --> 00:20:50,830
– I’m sorry that I’ve been jelly.
– It’s OK.
389
00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:54,410
I’ve been a hater,
and I really am sorry.
390
00:20:54,540 --> 00:20:57,500
That’s OK.
I’ve been jelly before too.
29903