Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:09,050 --> 00:00:11,760
We will be fighting the greatest battle
of our young, hot lives.
2
00:00:11,920 --> 00:00:13,220
Black Friday.
3
00:00:13,380 --> 00:00:15,510
Everyone who wants to get PS4s,
join with us.
4
00:00:15,680 --> 00:00:18,810
Tom, the South Park Mall
says they’ve beefed up security.
5
00:00:18,970 --> 00:00:21,100
You have a strong influence
over the men.
6
00:00:22,770 --> 00:00:23,940
You can’t die!
7
00:00:24,100 --> 00:00:25,400
You should see this.
8
00:00:25,560 --> 00:00:27,190
What would they do
on Game of Thrones?
9
00:00:27,480 --> 00:00:29,650
What would they do
when things look their darkest?
10
00:00:54,550 --> 00:00:57,010
La Fabrique
www.sous-titres.eu
11
00:01:03,220 --> 00:01:05,100
Now, let me tell you, child,
12
00:01:05,270 --> 00:01:07,440
of a war that is about to come.
13
00:01:07,560 --> 00:01:10,320
Since time unremembered,
there have been two,
14
00:01:10,770 --> 00:01:13,190
one dark and unforgiving,
15
00:01:13,320 --> 00:01:16,150
the other pure and filled with light.
16
00:01:16,860 --> 00:01:19,160
At the dawn of war, I stand alone,
17
00:01:19,530 --> 00:01:22,410
looking out at what will be
the last battlefield,
18
00:01:22,540 --> 00:01:24,410
for winter is coming.
19
00:01:24,540 --> 00:01:26,960
And I am a princess.
20
00:01:28,250 --> 00:01:30,590
Once a common lady of the dark army,
21
00:01:30,710 --> 00:01:33,630
but denied my right
to be called princess by birth,
22
00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:35,590
I betrayed my kind.
23
00:01:35,760 --> 00:01:38,470
And now, I have chosen my side,
24
00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:40,890
that which I believe is best for all,
25
00:01:41,260 --> 00:01:43,560
for it has the DualShock controller
with a speaker
26
00:01:43,680 --> 00:01:45,430
and a touchpad interface.
27
00:01:45,850 --> 00:01:47,810
Our land is split in two.
28
00:01:47,940 --> 00:01:51,360
Brother against brother.
Friend versus friend.
29
00:01:51,940 --> 00:01:54,780
My parents will fight
on Black Friday as well.
30
00:01:54,900 --> 00:01:56,950
For what, I do not know.
31
00:01:57,200 --> 00:01:59,160
What the hell is he wearing now?
32
00:01:59,320 --> 00:02:02,910
My followers, though few in number,
shall help see me through
33
00:02:03,030 --> 00:02:06,410
until I am finally accepted
as a princess by all.
34
00:02:06,750 --> 00:02:08,290
I cannot rest,
35
00:02:08,410 --> 00:02:12,420
for I know that even now,
the enemy is training for battle,
36
00:02:12,840 --> 00:02:15,670
also preparing for winter.
37
00:02:30,690 --> 00:02:32,730
All right, stop!
38
00:02:33,310 --> 00:02:36,690
This is not how you fight.
You think this is a joke?
39
00:02:36,860 --> 00:02:37,900
On Black Friday,
40
00:02:38,030 --> 00:02:40,280
there’ll be thousands
trying to get inside that mall,
41
00:02:40,410 --> 00:02:42,070
keeping you from getting Xbox Ones.
42
00:02:42,200 --> 00:02:43,660
So what do we do?
43
00:02:43,780 --> 00:02:46,660
We survey each enemy,
and we attack their weak spots.
44
00:02:46,790 --> 00:02:50,170
Scott Malkinson has diabetes,
so we hit him in his weak spot.
45
00:02:50,540 --> 00:02:51,540
God!
46
00:02:52,210 --> 00:02:54,670
There’s another army out there
who thinks they’re better,
47
00:02:54,790 --> 00:02:58,050
and we are not going to be beat
by that traitor whore Kenny.
48
00:02:58,170 --> 00:02:59,760
Get back to training!
49
00:03:03,510 --> 00:03:05,640
We should probably talk
about our chances.
50
00:03:05,760 --> 00:03:07,270
The men are inexperienced.
51
00:03:07,390 --> 00:03:09,390
– They need more training.
– It’s not enough.
52
00:03:09,520 --> 00:03:12,980
Ever since Kenny switched sides,
more kids wanna go with PS4.
53
00:03:13,100 --> 00:03:16,020
That goddamn traitor!
You know why he’s doing this, right?
54
00:03:16,150 --> 00:03:18,530
He wanted to be a princess,
and I wouldn’t let him.
55
00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:20,650
I said, “You can be a chick,
56
00:03:20,780 --> 00:03:22,740
“but there’s only one ruler,
and that’s me!”
57
00:03:22,860 --> 00:03:24,490
Sony released the PS4s.
58
00:03:24,620 --> 00:03:26,700
They’re being reviewed.
People are liking them.
59
00:03:26,830 --> 00:03:28,450
Kenny had something to do
60
00:03:28,580 --> 00:03:30,620
with Sony offering
a Black Friday bunduru.
61
00:03:31,330 --> 00:03:33,040
Just keep them in training, Ser Kyle.
62
00:03:33,170 --> 00:03:35,420
Two can play
at Kenny’s back-stabbing game.
63
00:03:36,540 --> 00:03:38,210
Stupid asshole.
64
00:03:42,840 --> 00:03:45,300
I’d like to speak
to the president of Xbox, please.
65
00:03:45,800 --> 00:03:48,350
The president of Xbox.
Like the head of Xbox.
66
00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:50,730
Fine, CEO of Microsoft.
Whatever, put him on.
67
00:03:50,850 --> 00:03:53,060
I need help blowing up
PlayStation people.
68
00:03:53,520 --> 00:03:56,060
Eric Cartman.
I’m a wizard and a king.
69
00:03:56,810 --> 00:03:58,150
A wizard king, yes.
70
00:03:58,980 --> 00:04:01,780
I’m not king of wizards.
I’m a king that happens to be a wizard.
71
00:04:01,900 --> 00:04:03,610
Just put the CEO on the phone!
72
00:04:08,950 --> 00:04:10,080
Mr. Ballmer,
73
00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:12,790
John and Dave from marketing
are here to see you.
74
00:04:14,250 --> 00:04:15,920
How are things going out there?
75
00:04:16,920 --> 00:04:18,920
The tides of war are changing.
76
00:04:19,050 --> 00:04:20,760
There’s a king in Colorado,
77
00:04:20,880 --> 00:04:23,720
a young wizard who believes
that Sony will have the upper hand
78
00:04:23,840 --> 00:04:25,340
if we do not come to his aid.
79
00:04:25,470 --> 00:04:26,930
He claims that with our help,
80
00:04:27,050 --> 00:04:29,010
his followers are prepared
to fight to the death
81
00:04:29,140 --> 00:04:30,470
over which system is better.
82
00:04:31,020 --> 00:04:33,890
What are you guys talking about?
You sound ridiculous.
83
00:04:35,940 --> 00:04:39,110
There’s going to be a war
in this small town on Black Friday.
84
00:04:39,230 --> 00:04:40,480
It’s all over the news.
85
00:04:40,650 --> 00:04:42,570
Guys, these are console wars.
86
00:04:42,690 --> 00:04:45,780
Not some epic battle for a kingdom.
I mean, come on.
87
00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:49,740
But this one kid says
that he’s a wizard.
88
00:04:49,870 --> 00:04:51,660
– And that Sony is helping…
– Guys!
89
00:04:51,830 --> 00:04:53,960
It’s just a video game machine.
90
00:04:54,080 --> 00:04:55,500
Microsoft’s a company
91
00:04:55,620 --> 00:04:58,630
that tries to be above
all the petty commercialism.
92
00:05:04,050 --> 00:05:06,470
Black Friday
is still a few days away,
93
00:05:06,590 --> 00:05:09,680
but it looks like it’s already claimed
another fatality.
94
00:05:09,800 --> 00:05:12,350
Niles Lawson is on the scene.
What are you hearing?
95
00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:14,520
Tom, tragedy struck last night
96
00:05:14,640 --> 00:05:17,310
when mall security officer
Miles “Happy” Davis
97
00:05:17,440 --> 00:05:19,560
was beaten to death
with this candy cane.
98
00:05:19,690 --> 00:05:22,400
After telling a mother
she couldn’t line up for Black Friday
99
00:05:22,530 --> 00:05:23,820
until Thursday night.
100
00:05:23,940 --> 00:05:26,530
In honor of the slain
mall security officer,
101
00:05:26,650 --> 00:05:28,740
the mall has decided
to officially drop
102
00:05:28,870 --> 00:05:31,990
another 10% off Black Friday deals!
103
00:05:40,500 --> 00:05:42,380
Happy was a good man.
104
00:05:42,800 --> 00:05:44,840
Too good to have died
in such a brutal
105
00:05:44,960 --> 00:05:46,510
but festive manner.
106
00:05:46,630 --> 00:05:47,840
Captain!
107
00:05:47,970 --> 00:05:50,470
The mall is dropping
the Black Friday sale another 10%.
108
00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:52,350
– What?
– They can’t do that!
109
00:05:52,470 --> 00:05:54,100
That’s 90% off!
110
00:05:54,390 --> 00:05:55,890
Oh God!
They’re back!
111
00:05:56,020 --> 00:05:57,350
The shoppers are back!
112
00:06:04,230 --> 00:06:05,780
Everybody stay put.
113
00:06:05,900 --> 00:06:07,240
I’ll handle this.
114
00:06:09,860 --> 00:06:11,620
If you are here for Black Friday,
115
00:06:11,740 --> 00:06:15,450
you cannot be on mall property
until midnight on Thanksgiving.
116
00:06:17,330 --> 00:06:19,370
We’re not on mall property.
117
00:06:19,540 --> 00:06:21,380
You’re about to be.
118
00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:24,840
What if we just walk
really, really slow?
119
00:06:28,420 --> 00:06:30,970
You’ll have to walk slower than that.
You’ve got a while.
120
00:06:31,140 --> 00:06:33,640
We can walk really slow.
Look.
121
00:06:38,890 --> 00:06:40,440
Smart asses.
122
00:06:44,730 --> 00:06:47,740
I was hoping I could talk to you
about Lady McCormick.
123
00:06:47,860 --> 00:06:50,450
– You mean Princess Kenny?
– Yeah, whatever.
124
00:06:50,610 --> 00:06:52,410
The prick thinks
he’s Daenerys Targaryen.
125
00:06:52,530 --> 00:06:54,370
I need to know how to deal with him.
126
00:06:54,490 --> 00:06:56,660
How do they deal
with the Queen of Dragons?
127
00:06:56,790 --> 00:06:57,830
They don’t!
128
00:06:57,950 --> 00:07:00,120
Did you finish watching season 3
like I asked you?
129
00:07:00,250 --> 00:07:01,460
I finished it.
130
00:07:01,580 --> 00:07:03,880
– What happens when the dragons show up?
– Nothing!
131
00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:05,880
The dragons are still on their way!
132
00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:09,380
They keep promising dragons,
but all I get are more floppy wieners!
133
00:07:10,340 --> 00:07:13,390
The key to our victory is following
the Game of Thrones model exactly.
134
00:07:13,550 --> 00:07:16,640
I have to know about the dragons,
so I know how to deal with Kenny.
135
00:07:16,810 --> 00:07:19,930
– What do you want me to do?
– Here’s two bus tickets to New Mexico.
136
00:07:20,060 --> 00:07:21,690
I want you to take
Ser Scott Malkinson
137
00:07:21,810 --> 00:07:24,400
and go seek out
George R. R. Martin for answers.
138
00:07:24,520 --> 00:07:25,820
Who’s that?
139
00:07:25,980 --> 00:07:27,940
The guy who writes Games of Thrones!
140
00:07:28,070 --> 00:07:31,650
He can let us know how to handle Kenny,
and if we should betray Clyde.
141
00:07:31,820 --> 00:07:33,070
Let’s face it.
142
00:07:33,200 --> 00:07:35,410
This is really about you and me
getting Xboxes.
143
00:07:35,530 --> 00:07:38,120
The rest are simply there
to help us get through those doors.
144
00:07:40,290 --> 00:07:42,960
I told you kids
to stay out of my damn yard!
145
00:07:43,120 --> 00:07:45,040
Do you mind?
We’re trying to talk here.
146
00:07:45,880 --> 00:07:47,800
How come every time
you talk to somebody,
147
00:07:47,920 --> 00:07:49,800
it’s about betraying somebody else?
148
00:07:49,960 --> 00:07:51,470
Mind your own business!
149
00:07:53,590 --> 00:07:57,180
Listen, for the last time,
we don’t have any dragons to send them.
150
00:07:57,350 --> 00:08:00,520
If some people want to choose
PlayStations, it’s their choice.
151
00:08:00,810 --> 00:08:04,270
– Sir, Mr. Gates is here.
– Bill Gates?
152
00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:05,560
I got to go.
153
00:08:08,190 --> 00:08:10,150
Bill Gates showing up at corporate!
154
00:08:10,320 --> 00:08:12,240
– Steve, How you doing?
– Not bad.
155
00:08:12,360 --> 00:08:14,610
Just trying to get
this next-gen press stuff handled.
156
00:08:14,780 --> 00:08:17,830
I heard there’s a little trouble
in Colorado somewhere.
157
00:08:17,990 --> 00:08:19,290
It was nothing,
158
00:08:19,410 --> 00:08:22,250
just some kids trying to turn
the console wars into something bigger.
159
00:08:22,410 --> 00:08:23,250
My gosh!
160
00:08:23,370 --> 00:08:26,630
You know, when I stepped down
and left you in charge of the company,
161
00:08:26,750 --> 00:08:28,250
I expected some challenges.
162
00:08:28,920 --> 00:08:30,170
Nothing I can’t handle.
163
00:08:30,300 --> 00:08:33,300
We might need some changes
to our marketing, but I’m optimistic.
164
00:08:34,090 --> 00:08:36,840
I think we’ll ultimately sell
the number of units we want to.
165
00:08:37,010 --> 00:08:39,850
You’re right.
Some changes do need to be made.
166
00:08:49,650 --> 00:08:51,940
Do you know what weakness is?
167
00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:55,360
Weakness is believing
that competition is healthy.
168
00:08:55,820 --> 00:08:59,740
There was a time when Xboxes
and PlayStations could both survive,
169
00:08:59,870 --> 00:09:01,490
but that time’s done.
170
00:09:01,910 --> 00:09:03,500
It’s all headed to one device
171
00:09:03,620 --> 00:09:07,080
that people game on,
watch TV on, socialize on.
172
00:09:07,210 --> 00:09:09,670
There’s only going to be one winner.
173
00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:14,220
I can’t have you idiots throwing away
everything I worked so hard to achieve.
174
00:09:17,470 --> 00:09:18,930
Clean that shit up.
175
00:09:21,760 --> 00:09:23,180
Come on, you’re lagging!
176
00:09:23,310 --> 00:09:25,480
I think my insulin’s low.
I need to eat.
177
00:09:25,600 --> 00:09:28,150
Let’s just talk to this guy,
then we can hit a McDonald’s.
178
00:09:28,520 --> 00:09:30,650
Here we go, 2217.
179
00:09:33,320 --> 00:09:34,530
Can I help you?
180
00:09:35,280 --> 00:09:37,780
Is this George R. R. Martin’s house?
181
00:09:37,910 --> 00:09:39,240
Who is this, please?
182
00:09:39,530 --> 00:09:42,580
It’s two kids who wanna know
what happens when the dragons show up.
183
00:09:44,950 --> 00:09:47,580
I’m sorry,
but Mr. Martin does not see fans.
184
00:09:47,710 --> 00:09:49,960
– We’re not fans!
– We don’t like it!
185
00:09:50,080 --> 00:09:53,170
We don’t like it.
I’m pretty pissed off to tell the truth!
186
00:09:54,130 --> 00:09:55,130
About what?
187
00:09:55,380 --> 00:09:58,840
Let me talk to George R. R. Martin,
and I’ll tell him about what.
188
00:10:05,770 --> 00:10:08,810
It’s the Red Wedding, isn’t it?
You hate how I killed everyone off!
189
00:10:09,270 --> 00:10:12,270
We just need to know about the dragons,
but they never seem to show up.
190
00:10:12,570 --> 00:10:14,860
They’re coming.
The dragons are on their way.
191
00:10:15,030 --> 00:10:16,780
– When?
– You really wanna know?
192
00:10:17,610 --> 00:10:19,490
– It’s urgent.
– All right.
193
00:10:19,610 --> 00:10:21,700
King Joffrey
is still at King’s Landing,
194
00:10:21,820 --> 00:10:25,410
but there’s a young blacksmith
who wakes up one morning with a plan,
195
00:10:25,540 --> 00:10:28,330
and his wiener gently hangs down
between his legs.
196
00:10:28,460 --> 00:10:31,540
Soft and flaccid, his wiener glistens
in the golden sunlight.
197
00:10:32,290 --> 00:10:34,960
Can we skip the wiener stuff
and just get to the dragons?
198
00:10:35,090 --> 00:10:37,420
Shit, I think I’m gonna faint!
199
00:10:37,550 --> 00:10:40,930
– What’s the matter?
– I have to eat every two hours!
200
00:10:41,050 --> 00:10:42,010
He’s diabetic.
201
00:10:43,390 --> 00:10:45,930
Why don’t you come out of the cold?
I’ll order us some pizzas.
202
00:10:47,560 --> 00:10:50,900
I’ll tell you everything
that’s gonna happen in Game of Thrones!
203
00:10:56,190 --> 00:10:58,610
Ser Kyle, I wanted to talk
to you about Stan.
204
00:10:58,740 --> 00:11:01,700
If you fear I might switch sides,
don’t worry.
205
00:11:01,860 --> 00:11:03,910
– Stan is wrong.
– It isn’t that.
206
00:11:04,030 --> 00:11:05,580
Princess Kenny is loved by her army,
207
00:11:05,700 --> 00:11:08,330
but Stan is still the nuts and balls
of the operation.
208
00:11:08,450 --> 00:11:11,000
It would be a huge setback
to the traitors
209
00:11:11,120 --> 00:11:13,920
if Stan were to be grounded.
210
00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:17,250
– Grounded for what?
– That could be up to you.
211
00:11:18,380 --> 00:11:21,340
Nobody has to be grounded.
We’re not playing dirty!
212
00:11:21,470 --> 00:11:23,840
Fine, Ser Kyle.
Perhaps you’re right.
213
00:11:23,970 --> 00:11:27,010
Did you know that Stan’s dad
is working a temp job as mall security?
214
00:11:27,640 --> 00:11:29,020
Seems a little convenient.
215
00:11:29,390 --> 00:11:32,350
Stan with somebody on the inside
to help him get his PS4s.
216
00:11:32,480 --> 00:11:33,770
Who’s playing dirty now?
217
00:11:34,560 --> 00:11:35,900
Let’s face it, Ser Kyle.
218
00:11:36,150 --> 00:11:38,530
This is all about you and me
getting Xboxes.
219
00:11:38,650 --> 00:11:41,450
The rest are simply there
to help us get through those doors.
220
00:11:41,570 --> 00:11:42,660
Don’t believe it!
221
00:11:44,070 --> 00:11:45,990
He said that to a bunch of people.
222
00:11:46,240 --> 00:11:48,450
Stop harassing me,
or I’m calling the cops!
223
00:11:48,700 --> 00:11:50,290
You’re calling the cops?
224
00:11:50,580 --> 00:11:52,790
You’re on my property!
I’m calling the cops.
225
00:11:52,920 --> 00:11:54,960
Go ahead!
Call the fucking cops, then!
226
00:12:05,640 --> 00:12:06,680
It’s you.
227
00:12:06,850 --> 00:12:10,930
Tom, I’m standing in your doorway
because of a hot news story to report.
228
00:12:11,310 --> 00:12:13,480
We don’t go to work for another hour.
229
00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:15,770
We just got a call from Bill Gates.
230
00:12:15,900 --> 00:12:20,480
He says he can promise us a bigger war
on Black Friday if we play along.
231
00:12:20,610 --> 00:12:23,490
– He wants us to side with him?
– That’s right, Tammy.
232
00:12:23,610 --> 00:12:27,660
Having a bloodbath on Black Friday
is good for the news.
233
00:12:27,780 --> 00:12:30,410
It’s good for us.
The bigger the better.
234
00:12:30,540 --> 00:12:33,830
Our job is to report the news,
not make it more violent.
235
00:12:33,960 --> 00:12:37,540
Right, Tom.
Because you’re so about integrity.
236
00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:38,840
Let’s go.
237
00:12:39,840 --> 00:12:43,470
Or maybe I’ll let the newsroom know
what their two anchors are up to.
238
00:12:44,220 --> 00:12:45,180
Back to you.
239
00:12:48,430 --> 00:12:51,180
It’s the morning news
with Tom and Tammy Thompson,
240
00:12:51,310 --> 00:12:54,060
Colorado’s top-rated
brother-sister news team.
241
00:12:54,480 --> 00:12:58,480
Black Friday is just around the corner,
and it’s getting fierce out there.
242
00:12:58,610 --> 00:13:02,400
Niles Lawson is out at the mall
with a little holiday surprise.
243
00:13:03,070 --> 00:13:05,030
The excitement
over Black Friday is peaking,
244
00:13:05,150 --> 00:13:09,780
and none other than Bill Gates himself
has shown up to make it even bigger.
245
00:13:09,910 --> 00:13:12,330
We just wanna do whatever we can
246
00:13:12,450 --> 00:13:16,000
to help our supporters get their Xboxes
at incredible deals on Friday.
247
00:13:16,120 --> 00:13:18,420
So we’ve come to offer
swords and battle axes,
248
00:13:18,540 --> 00:13:21,840
whatever the kids can carry to fight
their way through the other shoppers.
249
00:13:21,960 --> 00:13:25,050
We understand that you’ve donated
some guns to the kids as well.
250
00:13:25,380 --> 00:13:29,140
But we are limiting it to one
per Xbox follower, because of course,
251
00:13:29,260 --> 00:13:32,260
the key thing here
on everyone’s mind is safety.
252
00:13:48,740 --> 00:13:49,990
Is Kenny home?
253
00:13:51,280 --> 00:13:53,540
Kenny’s out back
playing with his friends.
254
00:13:54,040 --> 00:13:55,330
Forward, men!
255
00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:00,170
You gotta turn me.
256
00:14:05,300 --> 00:14:08,930
It’s the enemy.
Defensive positions!
257
00:14:09,760 --> 00:14:11,510
– Kill ’em!
– Get out!
258
00:14:11,640 --> 00:14:14,180
I seek audience
with the traitor Lady McCormick.
259
00:14:14,560 --> 00:14:15,770
Let them pass.
260
00:14:25,860 --> 00:14:28,110
The Princess bids your fat ass
welcome to her kingdom
261
00:14:28,240 --> 00:14:29,910
and suggests you state your purpose.
262
00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:32,830
You can’t win this, guys.
Look around you.
263
00:14:32,950 --> 00:14:37,290
Lay down your weapons
and fight for Xboxes with us on Friday.
264
00:14:40,120 --> 00:14:42,540
The Princess says
that if you wanna change your mind
265
00:14:42,670 --> 00:14:45,130
and agree that PlayStations are better,
she’ll consider it.
266
00:14:45,960 --> 00:14:49,220
We all understand wanting to play
as the chick once in a while.
267
00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:52,470
But you are never going to be
a real princess.
268
00:14:57,140 --> 00:14:59,350
The Princess calls you
a ball-licking lesbian.
269
00:14:59,940 --> 00:15:01,400
That doesn’t even make sense.
270
00:15:02,310 --> 00:15:04,860
This has gone too far.
People are going to get hurt.
271
00:15:04,980 --> 00:15:07,070
What you started
is way out of control.
272
00:15:07,230 --> 00:15:09,070
What I started?
How dare you!
273
00:15:09,240 --> 00:15:11,280
All these people
are gonna be gaming on Xbox.
274
00:15:11,410 --> 00:15:13,660
You wanna just game with Craig
the rest of your life?
275
00:15:13,950 --> 00:15:15,700
I would rather game with Craig
276
00:15:15,830 --> 00:15:18,910
than spend one minute
having to set up an Xbox Live account.
277
00:15:19,040 --> 00:15:22,540
We will get our PlayStations tomorrow,
and you buttholes will have nothing!
278
00:15:22,830 --> 00:15:26,340
You’re outnumbered ten to one,
and there’s no time left.
279
00:15:26,460 --> 00:15:27,630
How will you win?
280
00:15:30,720 --> 00:15:32,380
The gods will find us a way.
281
00:15:33,680 --> 00:15:37,010
So, then Samwell Tarly
sees the army approaching,
282
00:15:37,140 --> 00:15:39,060
and his wiener is about this big.
283
00:15:39,310 --> 00:15:42,770
He knows that Stannis Baratheon’s wiener
is probably shriveled from the cold.
284
00:15:42,940 --> 00:15:45,940
Samwell has to rally his men.
So what does he do?
285
00:15:46,070 --> 00:15:47,650
He takes out his wiener.
286
00:15:48,320 --> 00:15:50,950
And he dangles it around
for all his men to see.
287
00:15:53,660 --> 00:15:55,370
Sir, you said pizzas were coming.
288
00:15:55,950 --> 00:15:59,040
They’re on their way.
So Samwell’s wiener goes…
289
00:16:01,250 --> 00:16:03,620
But you said they were on their way
like three hours ago!
290
00:16:03,750 --> 00:16:06,090
If I don’t get pizza soon,
I’m gonna pass out.
291
00:16:06,250 --> 00:16:09,090
Don’t worry, they’re coming.
Pizzas are on their way.
292
00:16:09,210 --> 00:16:10,670
They’re gonna be amazing.
293
00:16:10,800 --> 00:16:13,590
Now, John Snow
finally faces Jaime Lannister,
294
00:16:13,720 --> 00:16:15,890
and this guy’s wiener is,
you know, huge, right?
295
00:16:16,430 --> 00:16:17,600
It won’t be easy.
296
00:16:22,140 --> 00:16:24,730
I was hoping I could talk to you
about the fight on Friday.
297
00:16:24,850 --> 00:16:25,850
Certainly…
298
00:16:26,190 --> 00:16:29,440
– Eric, right?
– It’s “my Lord Wizard King,” actually.
299
00:16:29,570 --> 00:16:31,400
Having your leadership
has been a help,
300
00:16:31,530 --> 00:16:34,410
but I hope that we’re clear
that this is my army.
301
00:16:34,530 --> 00:16:37,240
There can only be one person of royalty.
That’s kind of the rules.
302
00:16:37,660 --> 00:16:39,950
I certainly don’t wanna step
on your toes.
303
00:16:40,080 --> 00:16:43,540
Don’t worry, I’m quite good
at letting my CEOs do what they want.
304
00:16:44,210 --> 00:16:46,080
– Your CEOs?
– Let’s face it.
305
00:16:46,210 --> 00:16:48,920
This is really just about you and me
getting Xboxes.
306
00:16:49,040 --> 00:16:52,800
The rest are simply there to help us
get through those doors.
307
00:16:56,140 --> 00:16:57,140
How’s it feel?
308
00:16:57,260 --> 00:16:59,810
Now who’s walking who
through the betrayal garden?
309
00:17:00,680 --> 00:17:02,390
Why don’t you stay out
of my business?
310
00:17:02,560 --> 00:17:05,140
Why don’t you stay out of my yard?
311
00:17:15,610 --> 00:17:17,030
That was amazing sex.
312
00:17:17,160 --> 00:17:19,530
I enjoyed it immensely.
How about you?
313
00:17:22,450 --> 00:17:24,660
You know, Microsoft has given kids
314
00:17:24,790 --> 00:17:28,130
who want Xboxes on Black Friday
a lot of support.
315
00:17:28,250 --> 00:17:31,250
Seems a shame that the fight
will be so one-sided.
316
00:17:34,380 --> 00:17:37,890
Black Friday’s about to happen,
and it’s not even gonna be a fight.
317
00:17:38,220 --> 00:17:40,100
That’s bad for both of us.
318
00:17:40,220 --> 00:17:43,060
There must be something
you can give to kids who want Sonies
319
00:17:43,180 --> 00:17:45,060
to make the fight more even.
320
00:17:52,190 --> 00:17:54,570
I think that will do nicely.
321
00:17:58,410 --> 00:18:00,950
Wiener, wiener wiener…
322
00:18:03,580 --> 00:18:06,000
One wiener
323
00:18:06,290 --> 00:18:08,330
Next to another
324
00:18:08,460 --> 00:18:09,880
Wiener
325
00:18:11,710 --> 00:18:13,880
Two wieners
326
00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:16,550
Alongside yet another
327
00:18:16,670 --> 00:18:18,010
Wiener
328
00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:19,840
Wiener party
329
00:18:20,390 --> 00:18:22,640
Soft wieners
330
00:18:22,760 --> 00:18:23,720
Nice and soft
331
00:18:23,890 --> 00:18:27,230
Non-erect wieners
332
00:18:27,350 --> 00:18:29,020
Flopping wieners
333
00:18:30,310 --> 00:18:32,610
Five wieners
334
00:18:32,730 --> 00:18:34,230
In my face
335
00:18:34,400 --> 00:18:36,900
Stop, please!
I can’t take anymore.
336
00:18:37,280 --> 00:18:40,410
But this is the best part!
Right before King Joffrey gets poisoned.
337
00:18:40,530 --> 00:18:42,740
Everyone flaps their wieners
all around his face.
338
00:18:44,330 --> 00:18:45,370
Listen, buddy!
339
00:18:45,490 --> 00:18:47,580
You promised
that pizzas were on the way!
340
00:18:47,700 --> 00:18:51,330
If they don’t show up right now,
you’ll have a dead kid on your hands!
341
00:18:52,040 --> 00:18:53,840
Fine!
What kind of pizzas do you want?
342
00:18:54,210 --> 00:18:57,460
– What kind do we want?
– He hasn’t even ordered the pizzas yet!
343
00:18:57,630 --> 00:18:58,760
They’re coming!
344
00:18:58,880 --> 00:19:01,760
Not just two pizzas.
There’s gonna be five.
345
00:19:01,890 --> 00:19:03,470
And they’re gonna be huge!
346
00:19:03,850 --> 00:19:05,640
Come on, we’re leaving.
347
00:19:05,760 --> 00:19:09,270
– I haven’t told you what happens yet!
– Black Friday is about to happen,
348
00:19:09,390 --> 00:19:12,690
and we have to be the first ones
inside the mall to get Xboxes!
349
00:19:12,940 --> 00:19:15,480
Why didn’t you say so?
I can help with that.
350
00:19:16,070 --> 00:19:18,400
– What do you mean?
– I’ll make some calls.
351
00:19:18,530 --> 00:19:22,110
I know a way to make sure
you’re prepared for Black Friday.
352
00:19:33,040 --> 00:19:37,500
The president of Sony bids you thanks
for all your support of the PS4.
353
00:19:42,380 --> 00:19:44,050
He offers you this gift
354
00:19:44,180 --> 00:19:47,010
to once and for all
make you an official princess
355
00:19:47,180 --> 00:19:49,390
and to give you the powers you need
356
00:19:49,520 --> 00:19:52,310
to win this war on Black Friday.
357
00:20:10,290 --> 00:20:12,040
Kenny’s a Japanese princess.
358
00:20:41,860 --> 00:20:43,990
Oh God!
We’re done for!
359
00:20:45,110 --> 00:20:47,530
My friends, the time is almost here.
360
00:20:47,660 --> 00:20:49,200
Let us face these shoppers
361
00:20:49,330 --> 00:20:52,700
with the bravery of those mall
security officers before us.
362
00:20:54,960 --> 00:20:56,330
Commander Marsh.
363
00:20:57,000 --> 00:20:58,000
They’re what?
364
00:20:58,540 --> 00:20:59,670
They’re gonna what?
365
00:21:00,380 --> 00:21:02,970
We have breaking news
from the South Park Mall.
366
00:21:03,090 --> 00:21:05,590
In an effort to make sure
everyone is prepared,
367
00:21:05,720 --> 00:21:09,680
the mall has decided
to push Black Friday by one week.
368
00:21:11,890 --> 00:21:15,270
The genius idea
was proposed by George R. R. Martin,
369
00:21:15,390 --> 00:21:16,690
who also suggested,
370
00:21:16,810 --> 00:21:19,560
“Fuck it, let’s push Thanksgiving
to December 3rd.”
371
00:21:19,730 --> 00:21:21,020
For pushing the date,
372
00:21:21,150 --> 00:21:23,990
the mall is now reducing
Black Friday prices
373
00:21:24,110 --> 00:21:28,660
to 96% off to the first hundred people
inside the mall.
374
00:21:29,910 --> 00:21:32,660
This is going to be
a fucking bloodbath.
375
00:21:32,790 --> 00:21:35,410
There will be medical tents,
ambulances, face painting.
376
00:21:35,540 --> 00:21:39,290
No doubt a lot of people
you know and love are going to die.
28848
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Uighur
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof