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La Fabrique
www.sous-titres.eu
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00:00:36,950 --> 00:00:39,530
The holiday season is here.
3
00:00:39,660 --> 00:00:42,830
And Black Friday is upon us.
4
00:00:43,410 --> 00:00:46,170
As you know, Black Friday is the day
5
00:00:46,290 --> 00:00:49,340
shoppers go berserk
for holiday deals.
6
00:00:49,460 --> 00:00:51,880
Last year, 26 people died
7
00:00:52,300 --> 00:00:55,470
and 461 were seriously injured.
8
00:00:56,890 --> 00:01:00,560
This winter,
the mall is offering 80% off
9
00:01:00,680 --> 00:01:02,680
to the first 20 people in the store.
10
00:01:02,850 --> 00:01:04,430
It’ll be a bloodbath!
11
00:01:04,600 --> 00:01:05,940
For you new recruits,
12
00:01:06,060 --> 00:01:09,900
perhaps you took this job
to see what the violence was like.
13
00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:12,440
Or perhaps you
thought working Black Friday
14
00:01:12,570 --> 00:01:14,400
wouldn’t be a big deal.
15
00:01:15,650 --> 00:01:18,110
I’m just trying to earn
some extra holiday cash.
16
00:01:18,280 --> 00:01:22,200
Or maybe you’re too stupid to realize
what you’ve gotten yourselves into.
17
00:01:22,370 --> 00:01:23,370
That’s enough!
18
00:01:24,540 --> 00:01:26,830
Our only chance of surviving
this year’s sale
19
00:01:26,960 --> 00:01:28,580
is by sticking together.
20
00:01:28,710 --> 00:01:31,420
Those of you who signed up
are to be commended.
21
00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:33,380
But I warn you,
22
00:01:34,090 --> 00:01:37,680
do not underestimate the battle
that’s about to take place
23
00:01:37,800 --> 00:01:39,430
outside those doors.
24
00:01:43,430 --> 00:01:44,970
Winter is coming.
25
00:01:59,990 --> 00:02:01,280
Good evening, sir.
26
00:02:01,410 --> 00:02:03,660
I’m calling together
all the Fighters of Zaron.
27
00:02:03,790 --> 00:02:05,540
I need to speak with Lady McCormick.
28
00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:08,080
She’s not here.
29
00:02:08,370 --> 00:02:10,790
Please tell her there’s to be
a meeting in the great hall.
30
00:02:10,920 --> 00:02:13,040
I have found a way to get Xbox Ones,
31
00:02:13,170 --> 00:02:15,840
and the fair Lady McCormick
will want to hear about it.
32
00:02:21,680 --> 00:02:23,100
Thank you all for coming.
33
00:02:23,510 --> 00:02:24,390
Prince Token,
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00:02:24,510 --> 00:02:25,810
Ser Timmy of Blacklake,
35
00:02:26,720 --> 00:02:27,730
Lady McCormick.
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00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:33,150
Warriors,
we have fought many great battles,
37
00:02:33,310 --> 00:02:35,940
at Clyde’s house,
at Scott Malkinson’s house…
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00:02:36,110 --> 00:02:39,200
Soon, we’ll fight the greatest battle
of our young, hot lives.
39
00:02:39,820 --> 00:02:41,160
Winter is coming.
40
00:02:41,320 --> 00:02:43,660
And the next-gen gaming devices
are hitting the shelves.
41
00:02:43,830 --> 00:02:45,290
Which nobody can afford.
42
00:02:45,450 --> 00:02:47,870
What if I told you
that if we all worked together,
43
00:02:48,040 --> 00:02:50,210
there’s a way we can get
the new gaming systems?
44
00:02:51,330 --> 00:02:53,040
If you know of a way, then speak.
45
00:02:53,540 --> 00:02:55,920
I’ve learned of a dark magic at work.
46
00:02:56,050 --> 00:02:58,970
The day after Thanksgiving,
the first 30 people inside the mall
47
00:02:59,090 --> 00:03:00,840
get 80% off whatever they want.
48
00:03:01,260 --> 00:03:04,100
They’re calling it Black Friday.
49
00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:08,060
Spooky!
50
00:03:08,560 --> 00:03:11,690
Black Friday?
Come on, that can’t be real.
51
00:03:11,850 --> 00:03:13,810
It is real.
I saw it on the news, butthole!
52
00:03:14,110 --> 00:03:16,270
It is real.
They do it every year.
53
00:03:16,400 --> 00:03:19,150
But everyone tries
to be the first inside the mall.
54
00:03:19,280 --> 00:03:21,610
– What chance do we have?
– On our own, none.
55
00:03:21,740 --> 00:03:24,450
But if we plan, strategize
and fight together,
56
00:03:24,780 --> 00:03:27,040
we can be the first people inside
on Black Friday
57
00:03:27,160 --> 00:03:29,080
and use the 80%
to get the gaming systems
58
00:03:29,200 --> 00:03:30,870
we need to survive.
59
00:03:31,540 --> 00:03:34,710
It’s almost Thanksgiving,
and we all know what that means.
60
00:03:34,830 --> 00:03:37,500
That’s right.
Black Friday is just around the corner.
61
00:03:38,130 --> 00:03:40,220
And people are already gearing up.
62
00:03:40,380 --> 00:03:43,720
We usually start lining up
around 3:00 am.
63
00:03:43,840 --> 00:03:46,300
We douse ourselves in pig blood,
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00:03:46,430 --> 00:03:48,470
because it does help us
slip through the crowd
65
00:03:48,600 --> 00:03:49,810
when the doors open.
66
00:03:49,970 --> 00:03:52,520
We do it every year,
part of the family tradition.
67
00:03:52,640 --> 00:03:54,600
Last year,
we lost our youngest daughter.
68
00:03:54,730 --> 00:03:56,520
Her head was stepped on and crushed.
69
00:03:56,650 --> 00:03:58,440
In her memory,
we’ll find a young girl
70
00:03:58,570 --> 00:04:00,110
and step on her head this year.
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00:04:00,280 --> 00:04:04,570
If anyone thinks
they’re gonna beat me inside that mall,
72
00:04:04,700 --> 00:04:08,160
and keep me from getting
my kids’ Christmas presents,
73
00:04:08,280 --> 00:04:10,580
they can kiss my fat vagina,
74
00:04:10,700 --> 00:04:13,540
’cause I’m bringing
the motherfucking pain!
75
00:04:13,710 --> 00:04:16,420
Tom, the South Park Mall
says they’ve beefed up security
76
00:04:16,540 --> 00:04:19,500
in an effort to reduce
the number of fatalities this year.
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00:04:19,630 --> 00:04:20,960
One thing’s for sure,
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00:04:21,090 --> 00:04:24,680
people take Black Friday
very seriously.
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00:04:36,440 --> 00:04:37,860
Very nice.
Good.
80
00:04:37,980 --> 00:04:40,900
Wizard Cartman,
I have news from the Internet, my lord.
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00:04:41,030 --> 00:04:43,110
They don’t salute in Game of Thrones.
82
00:04:43,240 --> 00:04:46,780
– Sorry, I haven’t watched it yet.
– You need to start immediately, please.
83
00:04:46,910 --> 00:04:47,820
Very good!
84
00:04:47,990 --> 00:04:50,160
The House of Greyhawk
has agreed to join our fight!
85
00:04:50,830 --> 00:04:53,120
– The House of Greyhawk?
– Larry and Brad Stolsky.
86
00:04:53,290 --> 00:04:56,040
But we must still find others
who will fight by our side.
87
00:04:56,170 --> 00:04:58,460
Are there no other factions
we can call to our aid?
88
00:04:58,840 --> 00:05:01,590
How about we ask
those kids who play Star Trek?
89
00:05:03,050 --> 00:05:05,970
Screw those guys.
I’m not playing with dorks.
90
00:05:09,180 --> 00:05:12,180
That’s what I’m talking about.
Got any extra of that?
91
00:05:14,980 --> 00:05:16,980
Gets a little boring around here.
92
00:05:17,730 --> 00:05:19,980
Enjoy the boredom while you can.
93
00:05:20,480 --> 00:05:23,740
So you worked here last winter?
You worked on Black Friday?
94
00:05:24,690 --> 00:05:25,700
I did.
95
00:05:26,200 --> 00:05:28,530
Is it really as bad
as they say it is?
96
00:05:31,240 --> 00:05:32,490
The shoppers…
97
00:05:34,290 --> 00:05:36,710
started showing up
at midnight on Thursday.
98
00:05:37,960 --> 00:05:39,790
They didn’t line up.
99
00:05:39,920 --> 00:05:42,340
They crammed themselves
near the main entrance.
100
00:05:42,880 --> 00:05:45,090
I can see their faces smushed up
against the glass,
101
00:05:45,210 --> 00:05:47,180
licking their lips,
waiting to get in.
102
00:05:47,930 --> 00:05:50,140
God, the sounds that they made.
103
00:05:50,930 --> 00:05:53,100
It was 5:00 am
when they opened the doors.
104
00:05:53,680 --> 00:05:56,020
There was screaming, blood…
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00:05:57,140 --> 00:05:59,980
people tearing each other’s faces off
106
00:06:00,100 --> 00:06:02,480
while holiday music played
in the background.
107
00:06:03,570 --> 00:06:04,690
I saw a woman…
108
00:06:05,400 --> 00:06:08,650
pick up her daughter and swing her
into some old guy’s head.
109
00:06:09,360 --> 00:06:11,320
Before I knew it,
they were all around me,
110
00:06:11,450 --> 00:06:12,780
fighting, clawing.
111
00:06:13,370 --> 00:06:15,290
Then a hand reached in
and pulled me out.
112
00:06:15,580 --> 00:06:16,580
Old Cap.
113
00:06:17,250 --> 00:06:19,000
He saved us all that day.
114
00:06:20,500 --> 00:06:21,580
When it was over,
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00:06:21,960 --> 00:06:24,380
the front of the mall
was covered in red,
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00:06:24,920 --> 00:06:27,130
bodies, shopping bags.
117
00:06:29,180 --> 00:06:31,050
And now, winter comes again.
118
00:06:34,510 --> 00:06:37,310
Wizard Cartman,
I’ve started watching Game of Thrones.
119
00:06:37,430 --> 00:06:40,650
– Are you enjoying it, Paladin Butters?
– It’s pretty good, I guess.
120
00:06:40,770 --> 00:06:43,440
But have you noticed
every time they show a guy’s wiener,
121
00:06:43,560 --> 00:06:45,110
that guy’s character is gay?
122
00:06:45,230 --> 00:06:46,320
What do you mean?
123
00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:50,740
They have a lot of boobs and vaginas,
but most times they show a wiener,
124
00:06:50,860 --> 00:06:53,280
it’s because that guy’s in a love scene
with another guy.
125
00:06:53,410 --> 00:06:56,160
Is it because gay wieners
are less threatening to women viewers?
126
00:06:56,290 --> 00:06:58,960
I believe you might be missing
the greater point of show.
127
00:06:59,080 --> 00:06:59,870
I know.
128
00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:02,420
Winter is coming,
and dragons and zombies are on the way.
129
00:07:02,540 --> 00:07:03,880
I’m pretty excited for that.
130
00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:06,210
Just can do
with a little less gay wiener is all.
131
00:07:10,010 --> 00:07:12,930
We have word from the kindergartners.
They’ve agreed to join us.
132
00:07:14,300 --> 00:07:16,180
Those Xbox Ones are as good as ours!
133
00:07:17,180 --> 00:07:18,020
Wait.
134
00:07:18,390 --> 00:07:20,140
What are you talking about,
Xbox Ones?
135
00:07:21,390 --> 00:07:24,610
That’s what this is all about.
We’re all trying to get Xbox Ones.
136
00:07:24,860 --> 00:07:26,730
I thought we were getting
PlayStation 4s.
137
00:07:27,190 --> 00:07:27,980
What?
138
00:07:28,730 --> 00:07:29,740
Me too.
139
00:07:31,240 --> 00:07:33,320
When I said we’re getting
the next-gen systems,
140
00:07:33,450 --> 00:07:35,160
I was obviously talking about Xboxes.
141
00:07:35,910 --> 00:07:37,580
But I want a PS4, not a crappy Xbox.
142
00:07:37,740 --> 00:07:38,700
Look, guys.
143
00:07:38,830 --> 00:07:41,210
– We all have to agree on one system.
– That’s right.
144
00:07:41,330 --> 00:07:42,750
If some of us are on PS4s,
145
00:07:42,870 --> 00:07:46,420
but the rest of us are on Xboxes,
we all can’t play together online.
146
00:07:46,540 --> 00:07:48,840
This is all about committing
to one machine.
147
00:07:49,010 --> 00:07:50,590
Right.
Let’s all get PS4s.
148
00:07:51,590 --> 00:07:54,590
– The Xboxes are gonna be better.
– They’re just more expensive.
149
00:07:54,720 --> 00:07:58,100
We are getting Xbox Ones, guys.
And that is final.
150
00:07:58,350 --> 00:08:00,140
That’s exactly how Xbox people are.
151
00:08:00,930 --> 00:08:01,810
Fine!
152
00:08:01,930 --> 00:08:04,940
If you don’t wanna join us on,
that’s fine!
153
00:08:05,100 --> 00:08:07,900
We’re still gonna fight on Black Friday,
just not with you.
154
00:08:10,740 --> 00:08:12,030
It’s gonna be like that?
155
00:08:12,150 --> 00:08:14,740
Everyone who wants to get PS4s,
join with us.
156
00:08:16,030 --> 00:08:17,530
We can’t divide like this.
157
00:08:24,540 --> 00:08:25,920
You’re on our side, right?
158
00:08:27,880 --> 00:08:30,050
I like the PS4’s controller better.
159
00:08:32,840 --> 00:08:36,970
The PS4 offers no seamless transition
between games, movies and TV.
160
00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:40,260
The PS4 controller
has a touchpad interface.
161
00:08:40,970 --> 00:08:42,140
You never listen.
162
00:08:42,390 --> 00:08:45,980
I told you I thought the PS4 was better,
but you never wanted to listen to me.
163
00:08:46,480 --> 00:08:48,310
You just had your head so set…
164
00:08:49,900 --> 00:08:52,110
because that’s how Xbox people are.
165
00:08:54,570 --> 00:08:56,410
Then I’ll see you on Black Friday.
166
00:08:57,910 --> 00:08:59,530
If I see you at the mall,
167
00:08:59,780 --> 00:09:01,700
I will have
to try to beat you inside.
168
00:09:02,290 --> 00:09:03,290
I know.
169
00:09:04,290 --> 00:09:05,370
Come on.
170
00:09:05,620 --> 00:09:08,580
Let them wallow in their limited
voice control functionality.
171
00:09:17,760 --> 00:09:20,760
Christmas is coming
Goose is getting fat
172
00:09:22,720 --> 00:09:24,680
Please do put a penny
in the old man’s…
173
00:09:24,810 --> 00:09:26,390
What the hell are you doing?
174
00:09:27,020 --> 00:09:29,360
You’re up, huh?
175
00:09:29,940 --> 00:09:32,940
All right, look.
I took a temp job at the mall.
176
00:09:33,070 --> 00:09:35,280
I just wanted to make
some extra holiday cash.
177
00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:36,450
Bullshit.
178
00:09:37,240 --> 00:09:38,280
I did.
179
00:09:38,410 --> 00:09:41,830
I saw they were hiring extra security.
It’s a good way to make money.
180
00:09:41,950 --> 00:09:45,710
You’re doing this to get to the front
of the line on Black Friday, aren’t you?
181
00:09:47,750 --> 00:09:49,630
Nobody else has thought of it.
182
00:09:49,750 --> 00:09:53,090
I won’t even be out in the crowd.
I’ll be on the inside when it opens.
183
00:09:53,550 --> 00:09:55,550
While everyone
is running over each other,
184
00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:57,840
I’ll turn around
and run right into the stores.
185
00:09:57,970 --> 00:10:00,050
I’ll be the first
to get whatever I want!
186
00:10:00,390 --> 00:10:03,720
Isn’t Black Friday supposed to be
about buying things for other people?
187
00:10:04,270 --> 00:10:06,020
Winter is coming.
188
00:10:06,140 --> 00:10:08,020
And I’m a sneaky little bee.
189
00:10:13,480 --> 00:10:15,230
Thrusters are at 20%, Captain.
190
00:10:15,360 --> 00:10:17,240
Engage, ensign.
Warp factor 1.
191
00:10:17,490 --> 00:10:20,450
We have an incoming
FaceTime request from Eric Cartman.
192
00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:23,030
– On screen.
– What’s up?
193
00:10:23,200 --> 00:10:25,490
We’re just about
to check out a class-M planet
194
00:10:25,620 --> 00:10:27,460
that might have
new sources tririllium.
195
00:10:27,870 --> 00:10:31,170
– God, these guys are such dorks!
– Just find out who they’re loyal to.
196
00:10:31,750 --> 00:10:34,880
Big dong and prosper.
You’re Xbox people, right?
197
00:10:35,960 --> 00:10:37,630
Given the Xbox’s faster frame rate,
198
00:10:37,760 --> 00:10:41,140
we have to declare it the most
technologically fit for Starfleet.
199
00:10:41,300 --> 00:10:43,180
They’re so gay!
200
00:10:43,300 --> 00:10:44,140
Cool.
201
00:10:44,260 --> 00:10:46,720
What if I told you
we have a way for you to join us
202
00:10:46,850 --> 00:10:49,020
in getting Xbox Ones super cheap?
203
00:10:49,190 --> 00:10:51,270
Cheap Xbox Ones?
For reals?
204
00:10:52,860 --> 00:10:54,360
The Federation will fight with us!
205
00:10:54,940 --> 00:10:57,780
With them and the kindergartners,
our army has doubled in size.
206
00:11:00,070 --> 00:11:03,700
You still think you can convince Stan
to come back to our side, Ser Kyle?
207
00:11:04,580 --> 00:11:05,790
I don’t know.
208
00:11:06,410 --> 00:11:08,000
You can’t change his mind.
209
00:11:08,370 --> 00:11:11,370
Sony people don’t think with logic.
He betrayed us.
210
00:11:11,830 --> 00:11:14,790
We must out-Game-of-Thrones him
by making powerful alliances.
211
00:11:14,960 --> 00:11:16,340
Don’t even get me started!
212
00:11:16,500 --> 00:11:19,720
I keep watching that show,
and I’m still waiting for the dragons
213
00:11:19,840 --> 00:11:21,220
to kick everyone’s butts.
214
00:11:21,340 --> 00:11:23,390
But all I get is wiener,
wiener, wiener.
215
00:11:23,510 --> 00:11:26,220
It’s not all gay, but when they do show
a straight guy’s wiener,
216
00:11:26,350 --> 00:11:29,640
it’s all soft and floppy,
even after humping a pretty girl!
217
00:11:29,770 --> 00:11:30,690
Why is that?
218
00:11:30,810 --> 00:11:34,520
Because a soft wiener isn’t threatening,
just like a gay wiener.
219
00:11:37,820 --> 00:11:39,690
You’re somewhat obsessed
with wieners.
220
00:11:39,860 --> 00:11:42,660
I’m obsessed with wiener?
What about HBO?
221
00:11:42,820 --> 00:11:44,200
This isn’t helping us.
222
00:11:44,370 --> 00:11:47,200
– Sony might not be our biggest problem.
– What do you mean?
223
00:11:47,370 --> 00:11:49,830
They’re introducing
a new Elmo doll this Christmas.
224
00:11:50,370 --> 00:11:51,750
What new Elmo doll?
225
00:11:52,920 --> 00:11:53,870
Who, me?
226
00:11:54,170 --> 00:11:57,590
Just in time for the holdays,
it’s Stop Touching Me Elmo.
227
00:11:58,210 --> 00:12:01,590
Press his back, and he’ll put his hand
on your knee and say fun things.
228
00:12:01,720 --> 00:12:04,390
Have you ever been tickled
on the inside?
229
00:12:05,050 --> 00:12:07,260
I’m lonely.
Are you lonely?
230
00:12:07,720 --> 00:12:09,770
Can I watch you go potty?
231
00:12:10,470 --> 00:12:13,020
You wanna kiss the guy
who does Elmo’s voice?
232
00:12:13,810 --> 00:12:15,190
Stop touching me, Elmo!
233
00:12:15,310 --> 00:12:18,520
Elmo also helps kids brush their teeth
with his toothpaste dispenser.
234
00:12:18,650 --> 00:12:20,570
More, more, more!
235
00:12:21,400 --> 00:12:23,820
Don’t miss out
on this holiday’s biggest gift,
236
00:12:23,950 --> 00:12:25,320
Stop Touching Me Elmo.
237
00:12:25,450 --> 00:12:28,240
Available at South Park Mall,
starting Black Friday.
238
00:12:29,120 --> 00:12:31,620
– Morning, Joe, Marcus.
– Morning, Randy.
239
00:12:31,750 --> 00:12:34,210
What madness is this?
240
00:12:35,540 --> 00:12:36,670
What is it, sir?
241
00:12:37,250 --> 00:12:38,880
A new Elmo doll.
242
00:12:39,040 --> 00:12:42,880
They’re releasing a new Elmo doll,
just in time for Black Friday.
243
00:12:43,050 --> 00:12:44,180
Christ, no!
244
00:12:44,930 --> 00:12:46,640
You’ve murdered us!
245
00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:48,390
You soulless monsters,
246
00:12:48,550 --> 00:12:50,180
you’ve killed us all!
247
00:12:54,270 --> 00:12:56,230
God, they’re already lining up!
248
00:12:57,650 --> 00:12:59,110
Elmo!
249
00:13:00,570 --> 00:13:03,030
They can’t line up this soon!
This is crazy!
250
00:13:03,190 --> 00:13:05,490
I’ll deal with these demons.
251
00:13:07,450 --> 00:13:08,870
If you’re here for Black Friday,
252
00:13:08,990 --> 00:13:11,290
the line starts
on that side of the rope.
253
00:13:12,160 --> 00:13:13,290
This rope?
254
00:13:13,410 --> 00:13:17,120
So that other people
can do normal shopping today.
255
00:13:22,340 --> 00:13:24,220
Give me Elmo!
256
00:13:24,840 --> 00:13:26,590
We come seeking your help.
257
00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:28,970
Do you side
with those wanting Xboxes,
258
00:13:29,090 --> 00:13:32,390
or will you join us
on Black Friday and fight for PS4s?
259
00:13:34,390 --> 00:13:35,560
Are you for real?
260
00:13:35,730 --> 00:13:38,400
You know the PS4 is a better choice.
I mean, come on!
261
00:13:38,560 --> 00:13:41,360
Of course we’re gonna go with the PS4.
They’re blacker!
262
00:13:41,520 --> 00:13:42,530
Then join us.
263
00:13:42,650 --> 00:13:45,190
We need people to help us be
the first 20 inside the mall.
264
00:13:45,740 --> 00:13:48,820
We’ll just wait until the PS4s
become cheaper and more available.
265
00:13:49,110 --> 00:13:51,160
– You can’t do that!
– You can’t do that.
266
00:13:51,280 --> 00:13:55,250
This is about more than Black Friday.
Battle lines are being drawn.
267
00:13:55,370 --> 00:13:56,500
If you wait it out,
268
00:13:56,620 --> 00:13:59,000
but everyone else
has already decided to go with Xbox,
269
00:13:59,120 --> 00:14:00,670
that will become the standard.
270
00:14:00,790 --> 00:14:03,380
The PS4 would be
like Betamax was to VHS!
271
00:14:04,590 --> 00:14:06,970
– What’s Betamax?
– Exactly.
272
00:14:07,130 --> 00:14:08,550
What’s VHS?
273
00:14:09,930 --> 00:14:12,760
We’re just asking people
who want to play on PS4s
274
00:14:12,890 --> 00:14:14,430
to fight for their beliefs.
275
00:14:15,560 --> 00:14:17,640
Sorry, we just don’t care enough.
276
00:14:18,600 --> 00:14:19,560
Come on.
277
00:14:19,690 --> 00:14:21,730
There must be kids somewhere
who will join us.
278
00:14:27,650 --> 00:14:30,320
I was hoping
I could talk to you about Kyle.
279
00:14:30,660 --> 00:14:31,740
What’s up, my lord?
280
00:14:32,320 --> 00:14:34,490
I’m not sure
if his heart is in the right place.
281
00:14:34,620 --> 00:14:36,040
If he were to ever…
282
00:14:36,620 --> 00:14:38,040
switch sides,
283
00:14:38,160 --> 00:14:40,290
it could make Stan’s army
problematic for us.
284
00:14:40,420 --> 00:14:41,920
But Stan and Kyle are best friends.
285
00:14:42,040 --> 00:14:45,170
True, but we can’t let Kyle
come in the way of what’s ours.
286
00:14:45,710 --> 00:14:47,210
Let’s face it, Lady McCormick.
287
00:14:47,340 --> 00:14:49,840
This is really about you and me
getting Xbox Ones.
288
00:14:49,970 --> 00:14:52,760
The others are simply there
to help us get inside those doors.
289
00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:55,560
That’s right.
290
00:14:56,270 --> 00:14:58,980
You have a strong influence
over the rest of the men.
291
00:15:00,020 --> 00:15:03,980
When the time comes,
I might need you to use that influence
292
00:15:04,110 --> 00:15:06,190
to have Kyle taken care of.
293
00:15:07,320 --> 00:15:08,740
Do we understand each other?
294
00:15:09,400 --> 00:15:10,450
I believe we do.
295
00:15:10,570 --> 00:15:11,910
Hey, you damn kids!
296
00:15:12,200 --> 00:15:13,870
Get the hell out of my yard!
297
00:15:14,200 --> 00:15:16,080
Fuck you!
This is the Garden of Andros.
298
00:15:16,620 --> 00:15:19,160
It’s my damn garden,
and I’m sick of kids dressing up
299
00:15:19,290 --> 00:15:21,460
and having talks of betrayal in it!
300
00:15:25,790 --> 00:15:28,670
70-inch television.
That would be good.
301
00:15:29,050 --> 00:15:32,590
But 80% off a computer.
Maybe I’ll be able to snag both.
302
00:15:32,720 --> 00:15:34,930
– Doing all right there, rookie?
– Yes, sir.
303
00:15:35,100 --> 00:15:37,010
– I didn’t mean to scare you.
– I was just…
304
00:15:37,140 --> 00:15:39,520
looking at all these great things
I can’t afford.
305
00:15:40,560 --> 00:15:41,640
Listen,
306
00:15:41,940 --> 00:15:44,360
I know why you took
this part-time job.
307
00:15:45,310 --> 00:15:46,520
You do?
308
00:15:47,070 --> 00:15:48,360
I see it in you.
309
00:15:48,820 --> 00:15:50,400
You care about people.
310
00:15:50,900 --> 00:15:52,610
Same reason I do it every year.
311
00:15:53,570 --> 00:15:55,370
You remind me of my son.
312
00:15:56,030 --> 00:15:58,490
He died on Black Friday in ’89.
313
00:15:58,620 --> 00:16:00,620
Guess I’m still trying to save him.
314
00:16:01,710 --> 00:16:05,460
Look, I just want to say
I really appreciate what you’re doing.
315
00:16:06,090 --> 00:16:09,460
I promised my wife this would be
the last Black Friday I worked.
316
00:16:10,210 --> 00:16:12,170
When I see folks like you,
317
00:16:12,470 --> 00:16:15,180
it makes me hopeful
that people will still be OK.
318
00:16:16,930 --> 00:16:17,760
Awesome.
319
00:16:18,510 --> 00:16:20,930
Damn it, no lining up
behind the velvet rope!
320
00:16:21,060 --> 00:16:22,690
They just don’t listen!
321
00:16:33,150 --> 00:16:35,110
Cartman’s army is getting
bigger every day.
322
00:16:35,280 --> 00:16:37,530
In addition to the Federation
and the kindergartners,
323
00:16:37,660 --> 00:16:40,790
the Xbox army now also has the kids
who play Harry Potter, the jocks,
324
00:16:40,910 --> 00:16:42,790
the swim team and the glee club.
325
00:16:43,160 --> 00:16:45,420
Word is that the sixth graders
all prefer Xbox too
326
00:16:45,540 --> 00:16:47,330
and will team up
with Cartman as well.
327
00:16:47,460 --> 00:16:49,130
And who do we have on our side?
328
00:16:49,250 --> 00:16:51,760
Besides us, it’s the book club
and Janice Pinkerton.
329
00:16:52,550 --> 00:16:55,300
– Did you ask the vamp kids?
– They’re still undecided.
330
00:16:56,550 --> 00:16:58,800
We have to get people on the fence
to join our side.
331
00:17:00,060 --> 00:17:01,640
PlayStation!
332
00:17:02,220 --> 00:17:05,100
Look, Ser Stan.
It’s probably time to give this up.
333
00:17:05,230 --> 00:17:08,900
We’re just a dying breed.
Xbox is going to win this whole thing.
334
00:17:09,270 --> 00:17:12,320
So we’re just gonna let other kids
decide which system we all play on?
335
00:17:13,860 --> 00:17:15,490
What would they do
on Game of Thrones?
336
00:17:16,530 --> 00:17:18,780
What would they do
when things look their darkest?
337
00:17:34,010 --> 00:17:37,510
Sorry, to disturb you, sir,
but we thought you should see this.
338
00:17:44,640 --> 00:17:46,270
“Winter is coming.
339
00:17:47,560 --> 00:17:49,940
“Choose side.”
340
00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:53,400
Just a small town in middle America,
341
00:17:53,530 --> 00:17:56,150
but apparently, a war is escalating.
342
00:17:56,280 --> 00:17:58,160
If this were to become a news story,
343
00:17:58,280 --> 00:18:02,080
and if the first people
inside their mall all got Xboxes,
344
00:18:02,700 --> 00:18:04,500
it clearly looks bad for our image.
345
00:18:10,880 --> 00:18:14,550
What’s going to be the big item
everyone goes for this Black Friday?
346
00:18:14,670 --> 00:18:17,470
It just might be the PlayStation 4.
347
00:18:17,590 --> 00:18:21,640
Sony has announced they’re offering
a special Black Friday bundle
348
00:18:21,760 --> 00:18:24,260
called the “Brack Friday Bunduru,”
349
00:18:24,390 --> 00:18:26,270
which will include four controllers,
350
00:18:26,390 --> 00:18:28,690
a map of Japan, $100 rebate,
351
00:18:28,810 --> 00:18:33,520
and allow you to automatically
preorder for Metal Gear Solid 5.
352
00:18:33,650 --> 00:18:36,990
No doubt Sony
has just raised the stakes.
353
00:18:38,650 --> 00:18:41,160
Good, Federation kids!
Learning to fight with your hands.
354
00:18:41,280 --> 00:18:42,740
Keep pushing, kindergartners!
355
00:18:46,540 --> 00:18:49,460
I know that Sony’s offering
a special Black Friday bunduru.
356
00:18:49,580 --> 00:18:51,920
You know the Xbox
is still better, right?
357
00:18:52,330 --> 00:18:56,050
But why can’t Xbox let you
preorder Metal Gear Solid 5?
358
00:18:56,670 --> 00:18:58,380
Preorder doesn’t mean shit.
359
00:18:59,630 --> 00:19:01,890
Preordering a game
is committing to something
360
00:19:02,010 --> 00:19:04,680
that some assholes in California
haven’t finished working on yet.
361
00:19:05,060 --> 00:19:07,930
What you get for preordering a game?
A big dick in your mouth.
362
00:19:12,400 --> 00:19:13,730
All right, listen up.
363
00:19:14,060 --> 00:19:17,150
The mall’s no longer allowing people
to line up for Black Friday
364
00:19:17,280 --> 00:19:18,740
until Thanksgiving night.
365
00:19:18,900 --> 00:19:20,150
No way!
366
00:19:21,070 --> 00:19:22,450
It’s OK.
367
00:19:22,570 --> 00:19:25,660
To hold places in line,
we’re handing out wristbands.
368
00:19:27,120 --> 00:19:28,750
Oh, my God!
369
00:19:28,870 --> 00:19:30,330
Wristbands!
370
00:19:31,210 --> 00:19:33,290
Back, all of you!
371
00:19:34,250 --> 00:19:36,670
If that’s how you are,
there’ll be no wristbands.
372
00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:37,840
Now go!
373
00:19:37,960 --> 00:19:39,090
Back away!
374
00:19:40,550 --> 00:19:43,010
I’m getting my son
that Elmo doll, you fuck!
375
00:19:49,430 --> 00:19:50,770
You did good.
376
00:19:51,640 --> 00:19:53,310
The watch is yours now.
377
00:19:55,020 --> 00:19:56,440
You can’t die.
378
00:19:56,860 --> 00:19:58,570
Everybody really likes you!
379
00:19:59,070 --> 00:20:01,360
This is what we signed up for.
380
00:20:01,780 --> 00:20:03,110
Right, my friend?
381
00:20:04,070 --> 00:20:05,660
I was lying to you.
382
00:20:05,910 --> 00:20:07,450
I took this job…
383
00:20:07,870 --> 00:20:10,000
to be at the front of the line
on Black Friday.
384
00:20:11,910 --> 00:20:14,460
Now, you know how serious this is.
385
00:20:15,670 --> 00:20:19,090
Whatever your intentions before,
protect this town.
386
00:20:19,550 --> 00:20:22,010
You are in charge now.
387
00:20:22,510 --> 00:20:23,800
Take this.
388
00:20:25,890 --> 00:20:26,970
Don’t let…
389
00:20:27,640 --> 00:20:30,100
Black Friday be the end.
390
00:20:48,330 --> 00:20:50,290
Get back inside.
391
00:20:50,410 --> 00:20:51,830
We have work to do.
392
00:20:58,670 --> 00:21:00,420
When we started this fight,
393
00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:04,550
we were tired of Xbox people
telling us PlayStation sucked.
394
00:21:05,590 --> 00:21:07,760
Now, we’re an army of our own!
395
00:21:12,720 --> 00:21:14,350
I can’t guarantee you will live,
396
00:21:15,190 --> 00:21:17,520
but I can guarantee
that before this is over,
397
00:21:17,900 --> 00:21:20,400
the winner of the console wars
will be decided.
398
00:21:23,400 --> 00:21:25,070
Our new leader has joined us
399
00:21:25,240 --> 00:21:28,030
to help make sure
that system is the PS4.
400
00:21:29,410 --> 00:21:31,950
All hail the Princess!
401
00:21:35,460 --> 00:21:37,210
The Princess!
29641
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