Original subtitles

So, I guess I just feel like I haven't been noticed my whole life. I feel like

everyone's always ignoring me.

There was some trauma when I was a child. Like, my parents left me at the

and it was around Halloween time and I hung out at the Halloween store for a

while until I realized that I had to make my way home.

And it just feels like it's been a series of me just being ignored all my

Yeah, I agree with that.

Did you... Can you actually... I'm sorry. Can you actually repeat all that

again? I spaced for a little bit. I was taking notes.

Can you just repeat that again?

Yeah, yeah.

I guess I just feel like I've been ignored by everyone all my life, and I

like I... You know, I have needs, and I need attention, but...

I feel like I just need to reach out and take what I want, I guess, now.

Yeah.

Yeah? That's understandable.

Yeah,

I agree, but we're actually out of time for this week. I have another patient

coming in, so we'll work on those things, okay?

Okay. Thank you.

Well, ever since I dyed my hair blonde, I just keep getting bombarded by blonde

joke after blonde joke after blonde joke. I just can't take it anymore.

How are these blonde jokes making you feel? Are people at least being

disrespectful,

using negative attention?

Yeah, and I mean, people just assume I'm dumb, I'm a bimbo.

That I can't count to 10. I can count to 50.

Okay. So.

Okay. I.

It's just so frustrating.

I can see why you're frustrated.

Okay. What have you done that makes you

feel that helps with this?

How many exercises have you done? Have you talked to them and told them your

feelings and explained to them like you're not done? You can count to five.

50. Um, so have you done those things or do you just let it go?

You know, it just, I guess I just can't formulate my words. You know, I say,

guys, please, it's just the hair color. I can change my hair, but

well,

I don't think you should have to defend yourself. I, I'm totally with you on

this and I'm sorry that you're experiencing this.

Um, would you?

change your color.

It's a good diet.

Wow. I mean, I just can't imagine myself anything other than blonde. It would be

too much. I don't think my psyche can handle something like that.

Okay. I think that's good because I don't think you should have to change

yourself to, you know, to make these people feel better about themselves.

Because, you know, the only reason why they're teasing you and doing all these

things is because they feel very horrible about themselves. They have a

outlook on themselves, you know, low self -esteem. So everything that you're

doing is you're just showing them that you're a smart, independent, confident

young lady.

Yeah, I don't have to conform to social, you know.

You know, you keep being you. You want to be blonde.

You want to be a brunette. You make that choice. Have that self -confidence. And

just don't worry about them.

Fear is very important.

They have their own issues that they have to deal with.

So you are doing just fine. Keep doing what you're doing.

Wow. That's amazing advice. Thank you so much. I'm so glad you're really

listening to me and giving me the attention I deserve.

It's awesome.

But the real reason I'm here is I developed

an intense fear of the dark.

Of the dark.

Yeah, just thinking about being in the dark is giving me chills right now.

Oh, okay. Well, we're in a very bright room right now, so don't worry about it.

So what is it about the dark that, or actually, explain yourself. Like, what

your fear?

So, my fear is just being in the dark. and

not being able to see anything. The lack of sight.

Okay, so it's not knowing what's in the dark. Is it actually, like, you're

scared of being physically in a dark area? Is it just in a dark room in a

Is it outside in the woods?

Or in, like, kind of all of those things?

All of the above, doctor. It's just everything.

It's causing me so much anxiety.

And when you do happen to walk into a dark room, are you even able to walk

into a dark room or you just kind of stand outside it? Do you ask

for someone to go in with you? What are some things that you do when you are put

in that situation?

Well, I've spent over $20 ,000 on automatic lights.

And that in itself has sent me into a spiraling debt.

Yes. And having that installed, honestly, has really helped me.

But now I'm in debt, so.

Okay, so the light, as long as there's light before you walk into the room,

you're okay.

I mean, I think I've managed to be that

okay.

If you see that you need to go to your bedroom, will you walk there if the

is off?

Or do you have to wait until the light has been on for a few seconds, a few

minutes before you walk in? How does that work?

Sorry, doctor. I'm just tough.

It's okay. You can take your time to breathe.

I'm having some anxiety right now.

Take your time.

So I think you can sit up.

do some breathing exercises.

Okay? Okay.

We're going to take a deep breath in.

Breathe out.

Deep breath in again.

Out.

So you breathe in.

that anxiety.

You feel like you're drowning.

You're out of breath. You can't handle it. I need you to stop whatever you're

doing. I need you to take a deep breath in.

Take a deep breath out.

Close your eyes. Relax.

In and out.

Just like that. And this will calm you and I need you to focus on what you do.

Now breathe in.

Breathe out.

Just like that.

So whenever you're feeling like, you know, you can't control yourself and you

get that attack coming, whenever you just feel like you're drowning, you just

can't catch your breath, you can't breathe, you stop.

Okay. And you focus.

Focus. Take a deep breath in.

It's always good to close your eyes. It's better to focus that way.

Just like that.

Remember, every time that you feel just like something might go wrong and you're

having that anxiety and you're scared to walk into that room or to get out of

your car to walk into your house because there's not many lights, you just stop.

You focus on breathing and you know that everything will be okay.

Okay. You got this. You are in control.

I am in control. You are in control.

I want you to keep saying it. Say it again.

In control.

I am in control.

Very good.

I know. It's one of my favorite exercises to do. I do it just even every

morning. Not even if I'm having an anxiety attack or anything.

Okay, so I need you to lay back now.

Okay. Get yourself comfortable again.

Get yourself back in that happy place.

Yeah, just like that.

We can continue on. Because I know you normally like to talk about... about

three different things each time.

So what should the third thing be for today?

Well, I mean, domino effect. Now I'm in debt because of my

fear of the dark.

That's causing me some problems.

Oh, yeah, because you said it was about $20 ,000 in debt or something? Yeah,

just on the lighting system itself.

What's $20 ,000? And you feel that you can control that spending or you just

freak out and you just don't think about it and you just swipe that credit card.

Is it different credit cards?

Is it one bank account? Do you have two bank accounts?

I have 43 credit cards. You have 43? Okay. 43 credit cards. That's okay.

okay. There's nothing.

I mean, there is nothing wrong with it, but there's nothing that we can't work

on. I know. It's just really hard.

And I just got transferred to the night shift at my job. So I don't know how I'm

supposed to go to work and make money and pay for these lights. But remember

what I told you. You are in control. I am in control.

I am in control.

So remember that. You're in control.

So you know that you'll just breathe.

You do your breathing exercises. And it's going to help. And it's going to be

easier. The more you do it.

We have 43 credit cards.

Do you have, are they all maxed out or what is going on?

They're all maxed out, doctor. I can't lie to you.

Okay. So they're all maxed out. Well, I really appreciate your honesty. That,

see, that's very good.

That's very good right there. So you should be proud of yourself for being

honest.

Yes.

making payments on those.

And every time you make a payment that's more than the minimum, I think you need

to write that down.

And do something for yourself that day. Not buy yourself anything, but maybe do

a nice special nice bubble bath at home.

Make yourself care.

Do you see what I mean?

So kind of like rewarding yourself for working hard.

getting better with your debt wow I guess I never really thought of it like

you know it's very once you know once you hear it from someone else it becomes

easier because you know we're stuck in our own way we don't see that there's a

way out that's the way we think about it but when you go and you talk about your

problems with someone else you see that it is easy for you to do and it's not

impossible it'll be

Wow, this is just a lot. It's a lot of information.

It's a lot to process, doctor.

It is a lot, but you have that capability.

You are a very smart young lady.

Thank you. You are confident. Like I said, remember, let's do the exercises.

am in control exercises.

I am in control.

And you know that you can do this.

I can do it.

It's going to be amazing. It's going to be so good. I know that. I believe in

you. And even if there's a little hiccups along the way, you can always

You know this. You know this.

And we will just work through it together.

Either way, let me actually tell you a story.

Oh, I mean, it's great to hear your side of things, Dr. Lane. It's good to get a

different perspective.

I agree with you.

I feel like...

So when I was in college, I decided I just wanted to go out and

travel.

Okay. I took a year off college, you know. I didn't want to go to school all

time. I was just so overworked and tired. I was like, I need a break.

So I decided that I was going to pretty much, you know, travel.

Yeah. Those credit card offers just did what I've been living off of the last

two years.

Exactly what I did.

I signed up for one. I only got approved for like $500.

I got another one. I signed up another $1 ,000. So I just signed up for maybe

five different credit cards.

Wow. Yeah. So I signed up for five different credit cards.

And before you knew it, I had maybe like $15 ,000 in these credit cards.

And everywhere I would go, I bought my plane tickets. I bought food.

I was buying stuff. fancy dinners. I was just going crazy with this money. And

next thing you know, I got these bills. I'm back home now. I'm back in school.

There's just all these bills. I started getting notices with red writing on

them. And I just, I just, I don't know what I was going to do. At that point,

I was just so, so stressed out.

Okay. Which also included trying to pay my credit card, even if it was $5, $10.

So if I made a payment just every day, it all kept adding up.

So by the end of the week, I already had paid $25, $50, depending, you know, how

much I would pay each day. And at the end of the week, like I told you, I

do a reward system for myself.

I would do something nice, do one of those self -care bubbles.

it within a budget.

And I made a budget for myself. And I learned how to only fit within my

And it took a while.

It definitely took a while. But now I can honestly tell you that I'm debt

which is amazing, besides my mortgage, of course.

And it's just, it's been an amazing feeling. Trust me, if you just take the

steps that I told you, just little steps, it's going to take a while.

So don't expect...

to just, like, overnight be out of debt. If you are able to make those payments,

that's wonderful.

But just don't be hard on yourself.

Just take your time and do the best you can.

Wow, Dr. Lane.

It's very, it's a very scary thing. I understand.

I know it is.

But all you have to do is, like I told you, you just believe in yourself, you

take control, and you can just, you can get this done. I know you can.

you this advice, but I know that you are very capable of, you

know, of following through.

Yeah, that's, I think I'm going to try and integrate that into my own life and

maybe clearing up my debt and, you know, getting on a right financial path will,

you know, start solving all my other problems and then I won't need to spend

that money.

on the light, because I won't be afraid of the dark anymore.

Exactly,

exactly.

Wow, this is just so much to take in, Dr. Lane.

So good.

So, okay, so let's stick to the positive thoughts.

Okay. And how about this, because we're doing really good. We're doing really,

really good. I'm loving your, what is the word, what is the word?

Your... Okay, well, I'm just loving this right now. We're going to the positive

side of things.

Tell me this.

What is one of your favorite foods?

Like, if you were wanting to celebrate, what is your go -to food?

What makes you happy when you think about going out and eating? Like, what

you like to have?

You know, more recently, I found that I've been more...

Eating a lot of vegetables and, you know, one of those things is salad

vegetables. So vegetables.

Yeah, but eggplants, cucumbers,

squash.

I actually love cucumbers a lot.

Yeah, they're so fresh and, you know, cooling and such a great snack. But I

don't know, something about them, I just need more and more.

bananas just oh bananas are a good one as well I would agree I think uh

cucumbers are really good I love zucchinis clean them in the oven roasted

good yeah I've been trying to you know move to more healthier lifestyle to try

and you know healthier living functional medicine you know just trying to feel

better about myself and

living a healthier life, I definitely agree with you.

Those more natural, less fried foods.

Yeah, I would go for that. Yeah.

Oh,

I didn't touch that last part, doctor. What did you say?

Less fried foods.

Yeah, it tastes really, really good. It's very healthy. And you have a very

positive outlook on life.

Wow, that means so much to me.

You know, it's It's really hard trying to eat healthy and stay the whole food

and not, you know, succumb to the preservatives and

processed things.

So, oh, I actually started a garden in my backyard.

Oh, that's so wonderful. I planted all types of... That's a good hobby that you

should have.

Wonderful. Yeah.

to do as well.

And, you know, I feel so connected to nature and so much more free

and just a lot more positive energy seems to be surrounding me.

Oh,

yeah.

I mean, you know, gardening, there's only so much better.

Those vegetables,

blood -striped food, the different takes on the medicine and exercise. I

definitely think that that's really going to help us throughout the whole

with everything.

It's like a domino effect, like we said. The dark, the dead, all of those

different things that we've talked about.

that you enjoy, something that you're good at, something that really, really

excites you.

And it seems like gardening really, really, really excites you.

So that is really awesome. I'm so glad you found Tommy.

See? It will make things a little bit easier, I think, because it shows that

you're determined and that you follow through and that you're not going to

up.

So I really think that you gardening is

a really really good sign that you will be really good with

overcoming the debt issues the darn issues for

sure because you know something you will have to overcome and you will overcome

so your determination you know

I definitely know you can do it.

Wow, Dr. Lane. I mean, wow. I mean, I wish I could see you like three times

a week, honestly.

Your advice is so awesome.

And yeah, gardening, it's been a great, great experience for me. What do you

enjoy about gardening?

Is it like being outdoors?

Oh, I love just reaching my hands into the dirt, getting dirty.

Watching things grow.

Watching them grow. It's so awesome. It feels like I'm Mother Nature myself.

I like that. That's wonderful.

I'm creating life, basically, from, you know, nurturing, from... I

agree. You know, from... I'm sorry, I'm losing my train of thought here.

But I do agree. I feel like...

You brought nothing and it grew into something.

You helped it grow because of you.

Yeah, I guess this is just all a big process to help myself grow, honestly.

Exactly. That's exactly what this is.

Wow. I should honestly be taking notes.

It's okay. Like I said, if you have any questions or if you're...

and advice, you can always, always call me. You know that.

Awesome. Yeah, I think I have your number saved in my phone.

And if you don't, of course, you know that I'll give it to you before your

session's over.

Awesome. I'm so glad we were able to extend your session, though.

I'm so glad that we started doing longer sessions now because I feel like I want

to know you so much better now. We're able to talk about all the different

issues. And we can come up with, like, an even better game plan.

Yeah, I mean, there's a lot of problems in my life, so I'm sure we can figure it

out. There's so many problems.

Big problems, small problems, crooked problems, or, you know.

have this one other thing. I'm kind of embarrassed to bring it up, but since

we've had such a great conversation so far, um, do you mind if I kind of

talk about some of my sexual problems with my boyfriend?

No, of course, of course. What's the issue? You can always tell me. That's

I told you. You can always talk to me about anything.

Well, he literally goes down on me for five second, and then

it's just all about him.

Fucking just doesn't click down on me.

See, that's what I've noticed. Nowadays, this is an even bigger problem.

These guys, they just, they don't want to satisfy

their partner. Yeah, they just only care about themselves.

I mean, it's ridiculous.

As they do.

You really think so? Of course.

Why should he be the only one getting the pleasure? Why should he be the only

one getting hot?

Right? He needs to enjoy this as well.

You know what?

tell him either after you guys, you know, have sex or in the middle of it. I

would just stop him and I'd be like, you know what, babe? Uh -uh. You need to go

back down there. You need to keep going and you need to make sure that I can

come. And you need to tell him how you're feeling at the moment that it's

happening. Okay?

Yeah. You need to tell him, spit on it or, or, you know.

what he needs to do.

Because you are in control.

You need to let him know what you like.

And you need to speak up.

Yeah, I do need to use my voice.

You definitely need to speak up.

Yes. Yeah, I need to speak up, be loud.

You don't really speak my mind about music. It's not what you like.

You need to let him know.

And you need to have a conversation with him. Because that is not okay. Your

needs are just as important as his needs.

And, wow, it's not okay.

It is not okay for him to be the only one.

Like I said, that is enjoyment.

Yeah. You just don't need to let him know about how you feel.

It can't just be whatever you, you know, you want him to think.

It's, you know, it's about both of you and both of your pleasure.

Not just his. You're there too. And if he doesn't like that you're telling him

that you're speaking up, then you all...

He does what you want.

Yeah, that's exactly the way it's going to be. I'm going to say that. I'm going

to say, hey, babe, I want you to go down on me. Yes.

And I want you to become so bad. Those are all the things that you need to tell

him. Yeah.

You tell him what you like. Scream it at him, girl. Have a scream at him.

Yes, you tell him exactly what turns you on, exactly what you like.

Really?

So if I tell him that I love getting my ass smacked with some black and blue.

Then that's what you tell him. You tell him to pull my hair, choke me, or slap

me, or whatever you like. Whatever you enjoy, that's exactly, exactly what you

tell him.

That's the only way he's going to know.

So if I told him, I want you to stick your big cock right in between my legs.

You tell him to pinch your nipples. Yeah. Or to bite you or to bite your

Yeah. With exactly everything that you enjoy, you need to let him know. You

to let him know because you can get pleasure from it as well.

You're right.

Wow.

to go and tell him.

You definitely, that's definitely what you need to do. You have to let him know

you need to speak up.

Okay. Well, let's do this because we're done. Our session's done for today.

Okay. I'm going to write down our notes for the things that you need to work on.

Okay. So these are, what was your name again? How did you spell it?

It's B -L -A -K -E.

Right? That's what I got. Cool. So we got Blake.

So we talked about the dark.

Yes. What was the thing?

Dark. The blonde joke. Breathing.

Oh, yes. Hold on. Breathing for the dark, right? Yeah, we're going to do

breathing exercises.

Blonde joke.

That's something that we don't need to work on because you know that the blonde

thing is then to be insecure.

That has nothing to do with you. You have nothing to worry about that. You

need to tell me you want them.

Daily.

Oh.

Bye.

See you.

See ya.

This is fucking merciless.

Robbie. Hello.

Come on. There you go. Time to wake up.

Your session's done.

Yeah, I'm her 11 o 'clock. 11 o 'clock. Oh, okay. So I'll see you next week,

okay? Yeah, okay.

Okay. Take care of yourself, okay, Robbie?

Okay, thank you.

Okay, see you next week.

Is he gone?

You can take a seat now if you'd like. Thank you.

Okay, so.

Where should we start?

Well...