Original subtitles

All right.

Hey, y 'all. Welcome to PJ's Snack Attack.

We're going to try some exotic snacks.

I had never seen a snack like this before in my life. How would you say it?

OK,

maybe the name of the show is Snack Attack, but the rating is PJ's Snack

Ah, like I get them free, and then it's like . OK, yeah, OK.

We're just trying it.

Cheers. Cheers.

It's like the flavor hit us right at the same time. Now let's do the bite.

Hello?

Hey, it's me.

Can we bring in Jackie? Bring in Jackie.

Here we go. Here we go.

We just added the spicy Korean powder.

What would you give it?

This has been PJ Snack Attack.

Oh, my God, we just did a PJ!

Oh, my God!

You are the future of rockin' grandmas.

It'll rock your socks off.

Walk.

Where? What?

You traded it in first.

We'll talk about it.

Trying to find the time capsule. Old me used to be problematic.

I left something awful in that time capsule.

Keep your head up, man. Trying to think what the positives.

You're in charge now.

I've only been here for like a week, but I love y 'all so much. This has been

the best time.

Can you hear me okay?

Yeah, I got you.

Doug asked me to check in and everything, so I was wondering.

I didn't get a really clear picture of what happened. What happened yesterday?

Dougie really messed up, and it's going to affect all of us. We get back and it

turns out that he had made the sauce with Taco Bell hot sauce. Yeah. That's

like, you know, trying to sell something that isn't ours. So that's why. That's

like catfishing. Yeah, it's kind of like catfishing. So he catfished hot sauce.

Now I understand why I got 100 emails from bugs.

Yep. Wow.

You cannot do that.

You know, last night was really tense, but I think we're going to get over it.

And as long as everybody puts their heads together and we move forward as a

unit, I definitely think we can get over this little mishap situation.

I feel bad for Dougie. I can see him trying so hard, you know?

By the way, I got an invoice.

Dougie puts these Sandeep fabricators on an invoice.

Ten grand for the Sandeep.

They cost so much money. Like, did they have, like, electronic senators?

Yeah, so it was, like, it was, I guess it was, like, motorized where, like, her

hand was, like, going up and down the guitar, so it looked like she was, like,

playing it.

We could have bought a used Honda with that money. Right.

How are we doing, man?

You hanging in there?

Oh, I'm doing good. I'm doing good.

I'm still embarrassed and everything, but I'm doing good. I'm hanging out a

with my mom.

We watched a movie last night called Limitless. My mom loved it.

She's a little upset about what happened, you know, but she's trying to

me. I'm trying to console her, you know. Yeah, I reconnected with Kevin this

morning, and I was just filling him in with the things that have been going on,

and he seemed to be okay. You know, I told him that.

You know, things might be a little tough for him right now, but regardless of

how he may feel, that we all love and miss him and, you know, take his time to

get where he needs to be, but then hopefully he can come back and join us

enjoy the rest of the retreat.

Has Doug and Dougie came out yet, or is that who we're waiting on? Yeah, that's

why we didn't start yet.

Dougie!

Morning, man. Yo.

Where's my guy? How you feeling?

I'm all right, I'm all right. Are you guys good? Everyone's good? Yeah.

All right, good.

Morning.

Can I just have everyone's attention real quick?

I talked to Dad yesterday. It was all just a big misunderstanding.

Yeah, just had a normal business conversation like father -son, and

good. So that's all. Sorry, that's all.

Sorry, you guys too.

We got you, Dad. Yeah, man.

Dougie took a risk, and I think as any CEO knows that you got to take some

in life.

And also, we know that he has talent in making sauce, because although we can't

sell it, we know he knows what a good flavor is.

How did you get all those Taco Bell?

I called around, and apparently some locations will let you take. Like, if

buy something, there's really no limit to how many packets you can take. I told

y 'all.

You did say that.

Doesn't really matter, because I can't use it.

Hey, morning, guy.

Hey, buddy. Oh, hey, Doug. Good morning. Good to see you.

I'm going to talk to you.

I got some people coming here this afternoon, okay?

So I might need your help. Absolutely.

It may be a bump in the road, but nothing we can't get over.

I'm working on it. That's all I got to say.

All right, guys.

Listen, everybody, you know, sorry, I'm a little behind schedule.

Just had some things to do, and here I am now, though. We are going to forge

ahead with this retreat.

Rockin' Grandmas is still rockin' and rollin', okay?

Now, yesterday was a little unexpected and

deeply disappointing, to tell you the truth. So I've got this business I've

to take care of. I am not going to be able to join you today.

But Marjorie has a few other things to say in that regard.

Rockin' Grandma, today we have a fantastic day planned.

Scott Norris is coming in today to give a motivational speech. Scott Norris

truly is incredible.

His story is slum it to summit, because he did climb Mount Everest. Honestly,

thinking about it kind of gives me chills. And then after lunch is pool

Pool day!

Yeah.

I know everyone's excited about pool day, but I went remote so you guys could

only see my head.

Dad? Dad, should I roll with you?

Roll with me? Yeah, should I go with you to the meetings?

Oh, no, no. You go see the speaker. You go see him.

No, you go there.

You might learn a thing or two, pal.

You go see him. I'll check with you later.

You'll be all right.

Okay.

Love you, God.

How my climbing Mount Everest taught me lessons that have made me successful

and helped me to reclaim my life.

I believe that everybody has an Everest to climb. My story of what brought me to

Everest is not heroic.

It's pathetic and it's sad.

I worked in the corporate world.

I stole.

I was fired.

I felt like a mouse, and I thought, you know, betting some women would make me

feel like a man.

I cheated on my wife.

I don't think I'll ever meet a better woman, but I did that.

Eventually, I turned to drugs.

I lived in a studio apartment that I shared with two other guys.

I did things I won't share with you because it's distasteful to get my

I got beaten badly by a dealer.

At the lowest point of my life, it occurred to me, I need to challenge

Now I'm going to show you some slides.

Yeah, I got to talk about frostbite, okay? There we go.

It's nasty, isn't it?

I thought that the third degree kind of looked like the Santa body in the

episode of Bones we watched.

Yeah, it did. That's true.

Climbing Mount Everest kind of sucks.

Okay, we got to the top and then a storm came in.

And why are we looking at this?

I'll tell you why. I got frostbite on my testicles.

Oh, forky pie.

I got hyperthermia and I'm shivering uncontrollably. And I think a lot of you

men will understand this. The thing I'm obsessed with not getting frostbitten

are testicles.

I'm cold.

I'm so sorry.

Do your testicles play a lot more in the story?

It's hard to avoid.

Testicles is going to be like kind of a porcupine for us.

I don't know.

Everyone is okay with hearing testicles a bunch more?

Thank you for teaching. Everyone's fine?

Okay. I got your back. Fine, Jim. And your ball. All right. Okay.

Thanks for checking in.

I got superficial frostbite.

Superficial frostbite is one of the most painful.

experiences. My testicles are black.

They're hard. They're ice cold.

And he said it was so painful that the only way that he could get them to stop

hurting is by getting to the fourth degree of frostbite, where it would have

been completely frozen, but it would have been numb.

I'm sitting on the ground, hanging my testicles into the snow, push snow next

my testicles.

And I just sat there and it was incredibly painful.

My testicles are out there and I'm screaming. Oh, God.

And at this point, I'm like, God, kill me. If I'm not supposed to go on, like,

don't. If I'm going to have the same miserable life, please don't have me go

through this. Just take me. And I'm close anyway.

But now I have mental clarity and I'm numb and I'm able to get myself back up.

Thank God my penis remained in my suit.

But the testicles was what I was worried about because I thought that's where

semen's produced.

I hadn't had kids yet. Luckily, I had banked semen. Oh, good.

So I struggled down, and I showed up in Camp 3, and no one could believe I was

alive.

Ultimately, I had to have my testicles removed.

It's called an orchiectomy. He intentionally froze them off.

Well, they didn't.

freeze off, they froze, and then he had to have them removed.

I don't even have testicles in my crotch hurts thinking about that. Seriously.

Yeah. There was a whole extra part to my operations that normally you would have

the scrotum intact, and you would, I'll show you, you get, you have to decide

about implants, different sizes, kind of comically. What size did you get? Why

would you ask that question?

That's okay.

I got medium, which to the best of my memory was my size.

My plan was at the summit that I was going to scream, I'm free, I'm free.

And I didn't because I felt different after that climb than I had going into

One day I was standing in front of the mirror naked in the bathroom and I

at my testicles that I knew were not my testicles.

But I looked at that and I thought about all the difficulties I had. And then I

thought, man, my life is so much better than it was. And that is when I

had my Everest moment. And in front of that mirror naked, I raised my arms and

screamed at the top of my lungs, I'm free!

I'm free!

He was dropping gems.

He was.

And his personal gems.

Remember, these three things.

There will always be pain. There will always be uncertainty.

There will always be hard work.

What do you remember? Do you remember the days when everything went off

a hitch? Or do you remember the days when everything went wrong?

Those are the ones you remember, right? I don't know what the heck I'm doing.

Fantastic. You are primed to learn.

So is there anybody here who feels like I was failing, who feels like a failure,

who feels like they've been given responsibilities?

And they've let people down.

All right, dude, I get it. You're a failure. I'm a failure. I understand.

Hey, do you want... He just needs a beat.

Yeah, okay.

He'll be all right.

I would guess that he is in a position to have the most potential growth from

the talk I just gave.

Yes.

I can relate to what, like, Dougie's going through. I kind of hit rock

too, like, you know, briefly with the black mold.

Honey, you've got to take care of this. Once it's done, you can get the hell off

my little love seat.

You're sleeping on someone's love seat? Yeah, yeah. For your own mental health

and physical health, I guess, if it's really affecting your brain, you need to

handle this, man.

Other Anthony, like, this could be your Everest.

Yeah, I know.

I don't have to climb Mount Everest, but would it help if I did?

By the time you climb Everest and come back, the situation could have been

with already. Yeah.

Anybody seen Dougie since he left the seminar?

No. No. He never skips a meal.

Oh, gosh, I hope he's okay.

What's going on?

He's taking over the company for his dad, so he feels a lot of pressure that

needs to, like, show everybody that he can live up to the same level as his

We had a situation that...

maybe didn't go so well for him. So right now he's feeling kind of like a

failure. And he thought he was maybe being picked on or like the seminar was

specifically for him or something like that. Yeah.

Okay.

We're doing our Everest.

What is PJ's Everest?

What is Jackie's Everest?

But she just asked me what size balls I would get. And I said large.

I was curious.

If you don't got the rod to go with it, you know what I'm saying? The large

would be like, it would just look funky. You know what I'm saying?

You got to get something that matches.

Don't they call them door knockers when they're just like hanging low?

Ew. Okay.

Where's Jimmy?

Oh, my God.

Do you see him? Yeah.

He has this little thing.

Oh, he's looking for the time capsule. That's what he's doing. Oh.

He got a metal detector out.

Where did you even get this?

Amazon, baby.

That was your box this morning?

Jackie got her pool toys. I got mine.

You're hilarious.

I absolutely love you, brother.

When y 'all came, were the cabins this big, or did they expand the cabins?

So what if they put it on top of it?

I mean, if that's the case, that would save my life.

Oh, OK.

You're struggling blowing on that floaty.

Who do you think I'd be better at this?

Porcupine.

Do better.

Can you help us blow up my floaty? Yeah, I got you.

Oh, yeah.

You had me working this hard, and you had to pump the whole time.

My bad.

Dougie! You guys, have you seen Dougie?

Uh -uh.

No, nobody's seen him for hours. He's not in his room. I'm getting really

worried. We're going to split up and search if you want to help. Please,

help us. Please.

I really got to focus on this.

I know, but maybe Dougie can help me blow it up, please. No, it's pool day, y

'all. I'm not trying to go over there and search for that boy.

Come on.

Well, what if he got bit by a snake? He could really be in trouble.

Fine. He gets five minutes of my time, and then we coming back to this pool

Okay, let's split up. We'll go search by the pool, okay? I'm going to look by my

room. Okay, thank you, guys. Thank you. Oh, my God.

Hey, Jimmy.

Yeah? Have you seen Dougie?

No. Can you help us?

I don't think we should have just let him walk out. I know, you're right.

Because that was essentially a cry for help, and I feel like nobody helped him.

You're right. No, you're right. He walked out. Yeah. Yeah.

Dougie!

Dougie! Dougie! Dougie!

I mean, a part of me feels like he might have went that way just to go get lost

in nature and be by himself.

Oh, yeah. Like up in the mountain.

Marjorie! Marjorie, we can't find him anywhere.

If he hasn't left that way...

Yeah. And he's not in his room. The only way he could go is this way. And if he

wants to be alone... My golf cart's also not here, so maybe he tried to drive it

up that.

Really? And it's dangerously hot up there. Oh, God.

Is this what he's going to be like, a CEO? Just every time something is bad,

he's just going to run away?

That's how he ended up in Jamaica.

Well, we've got to go up this mountain and look for him.

I think some of Scott's words really got to Dougie, so we're going to go look

for him.

Yeah, I feel partially responsible for this, so...

I'm going to join them, try to bring this young man back safely. He's 35.

grown man.

I hope these keep us a little warmer up there. It might be cold.

And you guys, it's really important that you stay on the path.

Go mountain climbing, babe.

Doggy!

Doggy! Doggy! Hey, Scott.

Scott, I'm making a bucket list, and I put climb a mountain on it. Oh, I hope

you achieve that someday.

I'll be able to cross it off today.

oh this isn't a mountain this is barely an incline maybe for you oh my god

oh there's the golf cart oh my god he wrecked it marjorie looks like he tried

cover it up or something he didn't do a great job i would have missed that

this is metal

Before you get any higher, I think maybe we should take a break so we can, you

know, adjust to the altitude.

In no way do we need to adjust to the altitude.

Are you sure?

Oh, my God.

All right, guys, so up here we have two paths. Over here to the right goes up,

and then over here to the left goes down.

Personally, I think we should keep going up. No, no, no. No reasonable person

will keep going up. It's too hot. We'd probably just keep on going down.

He's not being reasonable right now.

No,

that's true.

Maybe we should split up? Yeah. All right.

I will take a group up. I'll go up. All right, we'll go down. I'm going down.

Let's do it. I'm going down. People can die in the sea.

Dougie!

Dougie!

Hey, y 'all, look, look, look.

Does he want to run away, or does he want to be found? No, it's his jacket.

my gosh.

This is ridiculous.

Hey, Scott?

Yeah? Do you think that we should be wearing those shoes with those cute

spikies on them?

Hey, Amy, could I not walk with you?

I'm sorry. I just feel safer with you. I'm getting annoyed, and I don't like

that in myself.

So I'm going to get away from you.

Yeah, it's okay.

We're good.

Found him.

You found him?

The music. Oh, God.

What is that?

Dougie?

Dougie.

Let's just stay.

Dougie.

Dougie. Let's just stay.

Careful, Anthony.

Dougie. Dougie.

Dougie.

Dougie, come on. How's she doing, man?

You all right?

Hey, what are you guys doing here?

We came looking for you.

How did you find me?

You left a little trail for us.

Dropped a few breadcrumbs. Mm -hmm.

You want to show me your hideout?

No, it smells like piss down there. Does it?

Did my dad ask me?

All right.

You ready to come? He's been working a lot, but we've been worried about you.

You guys brought Scott Norris?

Yeah.

Let's go down. Let's go down, Dougie.

No.

I'm never going back down.

Oh, my gosh.

His brain's probably shutting down. No oxygen.

No, but I think that might be true about you.

Me? Yeah.

When we found him, we weren't able to get him down right away. He wanted to

up there for the night, but we couldn't let him do that.

You can't really want to stay up here, man. It's hot. It's gross. It's nasty up

here. And it smells.

Let's go down.

No. I just think this is what's best for me.

Ducky, you have to start acting like a CEO.

Do you think that Frank from Frank's Red Hot just runs off every time things get

hard? Of course not. Frank's a legend.

It is not just about you anymore. There are a dozen of us at this company.

And if you want to take charge, you have to think about everybody.

Right. They skipped pool day to come look for you. Yeah.

Oh, shit.

I didn't even think about that.

Yeah. Were people pissed?

Yeah, Jackie was pretty hot.

Okay, you're right.

Ever since I got here, I kind of made everything about me.

Sorry, man. We can move on. We can move past it.

We're here for you.

Come on, let's go. Yes, please, Dougie.

All right, let's go down to the pool.

Yes! Come on!

First,

there's just something I need to do really quick.

I just want to let it out.

I'm free!

Good. How'd that feel?

Good. You should try it. That actually felt really good. Really?

Come on. Come on. Let's all do it. Let's just do it.

One, two, three.

Let's get out of here. I'm sorry. You guys okay?

Is that a hiker?

Yeah. We're just saying we're free.

There's bees.

Never mind.

We're free.

It's okay.

From your seminar, remember you wanted to yell, I'm free, when you were on top

of Mount Everest?

Yep. But then your balls froze off?

Kate actually said some stuff to me up there that I needed to hear and gave me

some tough love.

So thank you.

It's good to have you back, Dougie. Aw.

So you're okay, Dougie?

Yeah. Yeah.

I would tell there's like a structure up there. It smells a lot like piss, and

it wasn't me. I didn't go to the bathroom.

You can't leave us, Dougie. You're stuck with us.

That's what I want. I don't want to leave you guys.

Not going to do that again.

Onward and upward, just not up the mountain.

Exactly, because I'm not climbing up no more here.

We ain't doing that no more.

Okay, just to be clear, it was about a quarter mile, so.

Dang, Kate.

It felt so long.

Do it.

Do it.

Do it!

Oh, my God.

Finally.

I thought it'd be. vulnerable showing this much skin i got look here we go

how about that but they make me feel pretty safe you look great claire

you're beautiful stop okay

Basically,

I just came out and wanted to just show off all the hard work I've been doing on

my body.

They had a bunch of questions, but I had a bunch of answers.

Trying to get a little pool reading in while I can.

It's teaching you about how not to get black mold, right? Right.

It's educational, and it's honestly entertaining, too.

Hey, guys.

Hey, everybody.

I just want to say I'm sorry to you guys.

I know I got lost in the sauce back there, but no more, all right?

Straight up.

From here on out, I'm not doing anything alone. By myself, I'm doing it with you

guys, okay? So no more secrets, no more surprises, all right?

I love you guys. Love you, Dougie.

It's together that we're going to take this to the next level.

You know what I mean? Yeah. I love that. Yeah.

Who's that?

Oh, she got a nice bag.

Hello. Oh, there he is.

Hi, Doug.

These are my associates, Lee and Jean.

So why don't you come with me? All right, great.

She was in Doug's office.

Oh.

On the next episode of Company Retreat. Welcome to the Doug Kaplan.

Steve Mosley Sales.

Jimmy Weber Warehouse.