Original subtitles

I think that sometimes it's really um

easy to fall into the trap of thinking

if you know all the words that you've

done all the work.

Well, I memorized it. I've been working

on it for [ __ ] days. You know

there is a big difference between

knowing the words

and knowing how to say them

and the different ways you can say them,

the different attacks you can say them.

So I think always one of the easiest uh

and and most

convenient ways to do it is that once

you've worked on something and worked on

something and worked on something and

worked on something is then go okay I've

got that now what happens to this piece

if I completely go the opposite

direction

and that means if you're doing a piece

that's big and dramatic and asking a lot

of you and your voice and your body sit

down and sit on your hands and see what

happens. happens when you just trust the

words and the text. Or if you're doing

something that's quite small, intimate,

internal,

try it with a bigger gusto with more

weight behind it. Those are just easy

flippings of it. You just flip it.

I think another thing to do is this is

hugely important.

Go to a coffee shop, you know, sit in

Starbucks with two of your friends and

say, "I want to do this monologue for

you. Tell me what you think." I'll try

not to call too much traction in

Starbucks

or go to a park or go, you know, ju just

start sharing it with people because

someone might give you a fantastic idea,

like-minded people.

As long as you allow yourself to not

feel you have ownership

of your peace,

we are all temporary custodians of this

work.

Someone's done it before you, someone

will do it after you. And as long as we

let go of that sense of ego, this is my

monologue.

Who are you telling me what to do?

You're not as good as me.

Ideas can come from anywhere.

Good ideas can come from anywhere.

I'm going to hear more of you, but I'm

tell you a little story because it's

just illustrates good ideas can come

from anywhere. So, I'm on this film

called Glen Greg, Glenn Ross, and I have

a scene where I have to get up and get

up and sit down. Get up and sit down.

And so, we're filming. This is like the

third take. And I do this. I get up. I

sit down.

I get up

and I sit down right this focus puller

Vinnie Gerardo one of the great focus

pullers in New York done lots and lots

of films a lot of Pacino movies great

great guy

settles up to me you know they're

setting the lights up changing something

he says uh hey Kevin I said yeah this uh

it's like one of your first movies right

and I went yeah he went let me give you

a little piece of advice device if you

don't mind. I was like, "No, okay." He

goes, "You're standing up. You're

sitting down." I said, "Yeah." He goes,

"People aren't paying to see the top of

your head.

You're standing up like this. You're

sitting down like this. Stand up like

this. They want to see your face. Sit

down like that."

So, you watch that movie. I stand up

like this.

And I tell you that story because he's a

focus puller. He gave me a great

direction.

It's wonderful.

Had no ego about it. He's right because

that's the way I get up in life. You

know, this is I didn't think about it.

But no, they want to see our faces.

Believe it or not, sometimes my life

sucks beyond the telling of it.

And I don't understand why me trying to

kill myself makes you want to buy me new

clothes and clean my apartment.

Buying new clothes doesn't fix clinical

depression.

You're sitting there telling me to tie a

knot on a gunshot wound.

I didn't come in here and say, "Fix me.

I work. I work every [ __ ] day.

I go to class when I want to kill

myself."

I go to work. I held down jobs when I

would have rather drank bleach.

At work, I made friends. I supported

them in times of crisis. I even dated

all while being in the middle of a

living hell.

You don't know me.

You don't know what my life is.

I'm not like all the other people you

treated, okay? So, stop treating me like

an age group. I'm a human being.

Normally, I would make an appointment,

cancel it, and ignore your calls,

but I stood up to you today. And you

know what? That's huge for me.

I've aired out my grievances. You've

refused to acknowledge me. And now I'm

done.

One of us is being insane here. And for

once, it isn't me.

Okay. Thank you. Thank you.

Uh what is this piece? Tell us what this

piece is. Uh, so this is a young woman

who goes to her therapist repeatedly and

after the fifth time her therapist chews

her out basically says you're just here

for attention. You're like all the other

millennials who doesn't get what they

want and then boom, you don't actually

want to kill yourself cuz if you did you

would have stuck your head in the oven.

But no, you're just taking pills. So

it's just a cry for help. It struck me

as that if in fact um

I'd like you to do at least the

beginning of it again and actually

um

it's interesting you your your your

energy seems to be about um 60 degrees

lower than a human being should be. So

now I want to try to push you farther by

saying this. These are things you've

never said to another human being in

your entire life. These are things

you've maybe wanted to say to other

people, your family, your sister, your

mother, your father, even your

therapist, but you never did. Or maybe

every other therapist you ever had. But

for some reason, this therapist has now

spoken to you in a way that is so

condescending, that is so

dismissive of the experiences that

you've actually had.

So, I want you to do it again. And this

time, I want um you to place a little

bit of a fire inside of you. And I want

you to [ __ ] go for this person in a

way that you have never gone for anyone

in your entire life.

Well, believe it or not, sometimes my

life sucks beyond the telling of it. And

I don't understand why me trying to kill

myself makes you want to buy me new

clothes and clean my apartment.

Buying new clothes doesn't fix clinical

depression.

You're sitting there telling me to tie a

ribbon around a gunshot wound. I didn't

come in here and say, "Fix me. I work. I

work every [ __ ] day. I got myself to

class when I wanted to kill myself."

Farther, farther. Go farther. Keep it

up. Keep it up.

I work. I held down jobs when I would

have much rather drank bleach.

I [ __ ] work. I made friends. I

supported them in times of crisis. Uh I

dated when I was living in a you know

the middle of a [ __ ] hell.

I want to hear this in New York City. I

want them to hear it all the way to New

York [ __ ] city.

I I I I got myself to class when I

wanted to kill myself. I work. I've held

down jobs when I would have rather drank

bleach. I [ __ ] work. I made friends.

I supported them in times of crisis. I

even dated. All while being in the

middle of a living hell.

You don't know me. You don't know what

my life is. You cannot blame me for

feeling desperate and wanting a way out.

Don't. You don't know my life.

I'm not another age group. Stop treating

me like one. I'm not these other people

you've treated. I'm a human being.

Nice. Very nice. Thank you.

Um, tell us what the difference for you

is.

Well, it's interesting because I I uh

I've had issue with this energy level

for quite a bit because I started in

sketch comedy. So, I'm so used to being

and then I took drama and it was like,

okay, tone it down. So I I feel like I

am constantly grappling with how much

energy is too much and how do you ground

it?

Good. Very good. Very good.