Original subtitles

I had a dream.

I found myself laying in my square garden.

I'm heading to SIR, 25th Street, 10th.

The very first day of rehearsal, we're going to do like 17 shows, and then they

end up in my dream spot, which is at the Garden.

Don't make a right, all right, sir?

This

is the first

time everybody's in the same room.

I've been on the road with all these musicians for years, so we're really a

family.

Just do it straight for now. I'll show you.

Just trying to tell the story, figure out the set list, and have some fun with

it. The whole way that I've constructed the set list is to tell the story of my

life and how I got here.

This is a really special time for me because we're playing in all of these

amazing arenas and ending up in my hometown, Madison Square Garden Arena,

is like a dream come true for me.

Everything's been coming full circle and it's just taken me

like 26 years to get to the garden, but...

We're going to get there.

She always sang. She used to sing for

my father. He would introduce her at three years old and she'd run out from

behind the couch.

The one that really got me was when you were in Carousel.

And you sang.

That's in high school.

Mommy was believing in me since I was six years old at the Brickman's in the

Catskills. In the Catskills, the kids go to camp when you stay at a hotel.

And they do a talent night.

We're all standing there, and she's singing, Son Will Come Out Tomorrow. And

these people are saying, my God, listen to that girl. I thought when you came

out of the womb, you were there to sing.

Have your mother beat that one.

Queen of Swords. I thought I would do that, but not big, like with all the Pro

Tools and stuff from last time. We would do a cool unplugged version that was

really fun with acoustic guitar.

Just percussion instead of drums. So I can't, you know, whatever. I just want

cover my basses so I'm not surprised and I feel good about whatever happens.

Great.

We're just left.

I feel like the set's always a living, breathing thing.

And I want us to feel like we have some creative freedom, you know? We're not

just stuck in one script.

But I only have an hour.

because I'm sharing the bill with Josh Groban.

I love Josh. We've worked together a bunch of times in the past.

And you need to divide the stage time.

So it's like slam -packed.

I don't have much time to breathe.

Should we just do one chorus right into the hey?

I think one of the biggest misconceptions about me as a singer is

come from a theater background.

When I was a little girl, I

loved musical theater.

I did listen to cast

albums when I was a little kid, and my parents did bring me to shows. I was

inspired. by someone's west side story to my fair lady. That's all part of me.

From now on, it's going to be me.

Roast on the couch, living, dancing, having a ball, making up for eight long

years of being in love with a mama -clutching, aspirin -splitting, six

tower of jello. Then when I was 15, 16, I started working with wedding bands.

And as I got a little older, my musical taste evolved.

I started to sing a lot more rock and R &B and start to write my own music and

find my own sound.

I'm of many, of many worlds.

No, of many, like, influences. And so it's... taken like a life of experience

and songs that speak to those experiences, a song from a show, a song

album, a song from my childhood.

It's all those things in one concert.

I'm stressing a lot. I've been multitasking, trying to be in this

be with my band and do the music and get the set ready.

But I have two major things before I have to be on stage in Atlanta. I have

to... Finish this film that I'm doing and I have to do the Wicked 15th

anniversary TV special.

Tour rehearsals expecting me around 5 and Wicked rehearsals expecting me at 4

.30. I've been simultaneously doing this Adam Sandler movie where I play his

wife. And we worked with 7 in the morning last night.

I hate being with you. I hate looking at you.

And if I had my way, I would never see you again.

You can punch me if you want.

Oh, thanks.

Hey.

And I'm late because I was FaceTiming L .A.

so that I could watch my son's basketball game. That was the biggest

the day, to be honest.

One time with a wizard, my whole life would change.

Aaron and I met through friends in the theater community, and I was out of town

doing the D .C. production of If Then.

which, funny enough, is all about the choices one makes.

And I was going through a divorce.

I hadn't seen him in years and years because he had left the business.

And someone mentioned him, and I thought, well, he could be a good person

on a first date with.

And we were inseparable ever since then.

And then when Aaron and I were dating, he's like, I don't want to get married.

don't have a baby. So I'm like, me too. And then all of a sudden he wants to

marry me in my backyard with a rabbi.

I got married in my backyard with a rabbi, and now he wants babies.

I'm in the middle of what's called IVF, so I can

try to get pregnant.

IVF is trying to get a bunch of eggs that are healthy at this age, so you

all this medicine and these shots.

So that's kind of what I've been doing for like two years now, on and off. The

only thing is, like, the way it looks on my calendar, it looks like I'd be at

the garden, like, doing an egg retrieval that morning.

I've got those three eggs.

Hit it.

I've been doing a film and a thing and a thing, and now I'm in a band rehearsal.

You're in a band?

My band goes on tour. You know, we do a concert. Oh, I didn't know.

What band is it?

It's me.

It's you? Yeah. Awesome. Yeah. I didn't know that. I'm at the garden. Oh, that's

what this tour is. You're at the garden? Yeah. Get out of here. Yeah. Cool.

What's the name of the event?

It's me, Josh. It's you, okay. It's Athena.

Okay.

Awesome.

I love it.

So, I'm out with Josh Groban, actually, until I'm doing like a splitting the

bill kind of thing.

You probably know who that is, but I don't. You don't know who Josh Groban is

either? Sorry, Josh.

Not a great cycle to start.

Maybe it's because I'm just all over the place. Could be, but it's also not

uncommon in this age bracket.

It's more than five bags. That's pretty good.

You're sweet. I love your text that you sent me. Thank you. And I did think I

wanted to have a baby, but then... Aaron has been the most amazing man to my

son, who has a wonderful dad, but has found a way to...

Have his own incredible relationship with walkers Really I

feel like he saved my life in a way

I grew up with my ex -husband for like 16 years.

We met in Rent.

We were both in the original cast.

That was my very first professional job, 1995, 96.

You know, we grew up together, so to figure out who you are separate from

person, it takes time.

I think we're doing a really good job of co -parenting, raising our child in two

different households.

Did Daddy tell you I called a million times to wish you good game beforehand?

Yes, I was trying to reach you guys before to tell you to kick some butt.

Love you, Walker.

Congrats.

Go team, go Jets! First gig, I think, is October 18th in Atlanta.

On the road to the Garden!

Yay!

Mama, is this going to be a comedy slash documentary? Yes, it's going to be very

funny at Mommy's expense.

I know, buddy.

What's going through my head is I'm worried about my son's ear, honestly.

In, like, five minutes' time getting in this room, he went to scare Gio and fell

back and hit his back, like, on a corner. And it was bleeding, but all I

was, like, my son's, like, fat ear with, like, blood coming down.

What's the schedule?

Eight o 'clock show.

You tell them that my one costume's already ripped.

In theater, you practice.

changes so that you can choreograph them and get them down.

Like you can get them down in nine seconds. Like boots, belt, out. This

this person, boom, in, go, on stage. So we were choreographing in my house.

And we don't know if it ripped before the change or not. But one of the other

costumes was already ripped before we ever left New York.

So it's being FedExed here. And it ripped right up the ass.

Where do we go?

Which way? Okay.

Which way to the stage?

That's a rent reference, in case you didn't know.

Joanne, which way to the stage?

We'll see how the projections look for the first time in the actual space.

This tour is bigger. It's all arenas. So it's different.

Different venues.

I upped the projection value.

Bigger space. I wanted to fill it.

That wants to be low. That wants to be low. Now I'm getting excited.

Careful. Walker, look at this.

Look at his step. Look, it's dangerous.

The juggle is real is the unofficial...

Title of the tour.

It's better that we see you. I always love the spotlight.

I know.

This is when it's like, I have no idea what I'm doing right now. No idea what

I'm doing.

Where's my child?

He's on the bus. He's happy.

It's fine.

Very good.

Last night I had a dream And

I was thirsty

Only thing to do is jump over the moon.

Last night I had a dream I was surrounded by the greatest audience in

world and they thought I was amazing!

Be buffet, be buffet, be buffet.

The only thing to do is jump over the moon.

The only thing to do.

I was still doing gigs as a wedding singer.

But January and February are the worst months for weddings because it's cold.

You know, nobody gets married January and February.

So I just thought I needed a job. So I went in for this little off -Broadway

show.

I had no idea that I was going to move on and my first dream was going to come

true. I was going to be in a Broadway show.

On the evening that the musical Rent opened on Broadway, stars were offstage.

On stage, there are no big names, at least not yet.

You know, I come from doing weddings and our mitzvahs on the weekends as a

singer, paying the rent that way.

Sometimes I feel like I don't totally belong.

When I got cast in Rent, the theater community saw us as kind of raw and

untrained talents.

I have a job to do, and I feel very pressured about it. You know, people are

paying me money to come and do what I have said for my whole life. I do very

well.

Thank you.

It's a lot in an hour. All my talking helps me take some moments in between

songs. Let me change into the Josh thing so I'm just ready to... You have a

while. You have like an hour.

Make sure that I know...

We've got to pick out what you're going to wear. When I'm going on. Yeah.

Time to go.

Yeah, he's announced it. Oh, I'm glad. He's announced it? Yeah.

He's got to get a call. Nobody called us.

Yeah, it's going to be on the floor.

Apparently he's announced it. Are we going that way? Yeah, we are.

He's already announced it. Come here, son.

We're going to come here just to the right.

What do you mean you announced me? They're waiting for me to come out?

You didn't get a call? No, nobody.

Am I mic'd up there?

I've got it right here. We're going to cue from him.

Okay, we're all set.

Stay here, buddy.

Stay with me. Stay with me. All right, I'm just going to do this one.

My parents wouldn't let me work professionally as a kid, so I just

home with teachers and was active in all the school stuff.

I wanted

to. I wanted to, like, go in for the next Annie production.

But they wouldn't let me.

And then my parents split up and my life turned upside down.

So this is like a catering hall.

Like a lot of people come here and they get married or have parties.

When I was 15 on Thanksgiving morning, my parents brought my sister and I down

to the kitchen table.

And they told us they were separating.

And that they were going to cancel all the guests that were coming over, our

extended family. And that...

We were going to salvage the day, though, because in an effort to show my

and I that we would, that it would always be amicable

and that we'd still be a family, they wanted to still go to dinner,

Thanksgiving. And my sister and I are, like, crying up in our rooms.

And so my mom throws the mashed potatoes down the drain, the turkey and the

garbage.

and makes a reservation to come here and sit in public.

Hey, honey, how you doing? Good. Guess where I am right now?

Let me see.

I'm at the Fox Hollow Inn on Jericho Turnpike.

Are you really? Does this look familiar to you?

Does it bring back memories?

Why do you think you guys picked Thanksgiving morning to just, like,

us?

Literally Thanksgiving morning. Like, wouldn't you tell, wouldn't you and

be like, let's wait till tomorrow.

We can hold it in. We've waited this long.

Honey, I don't actually remember.

I actually have never been back to that place. But then, you know, then I came

here all the time. I had gigs here all the time.

I'd sing at bar mitzvahs and weddings, and I had to be reminded of this

day every time I came here to make a buck and sing.

During these tough times, my younger sister Kara and I, we got really close.

She always was really protective of me, but I think even then, when she kind of

felt that our world was shaking, was kind of falling apart, that she was even

more protective in making sure I was okay.

I also think that this period of my life was a catalyst for me to go deeper into

my songwriting and immerse myself in music.

I think it was a couple years after the divorce, Dee started to go into the

studio.

and record her own music.

What else is in here?

These are lyrics.

Why is it when we're on the phone I really want you to want you near me?

Yet then when you're by my side the casting's not so easy.

You'll probably never get to read this in certain ways I wish you would. Maybe

one day we'll surrender to each other. I wish I felt we should.

Tonight's important because it's my own music. Ladies and gentlemen, please

welcome Idina Menzel.

Do you actually get paid for this?

No, I do pay my musicians.

I pay money out and I usually come out negative.

So why do you do it? It's the only way to get out there and be seen.

She was on this pedestal and I idolized her.

She could do all these things that not only I couldn't do, but like nobody else

I knew could do.

What are we doing right now?

Taking off my mom's fake hair. He likes to tell his friends that when they come

home.

Oh, don't look at that thing on it. It's like Chipmunk on the table.

It's just my mom's fake hair. She looks beautiful without it.

So the first night, we have a piece.

And I just put it on, like, good.

You know, I have a Broadway background, so I know, like, you just have to secure

it. So I thought she was going to sit and go.

I do the Idina Menzel show.

In the evening, sit on the stool and sing to everyone.

And then Led Zeppelin comes on.

And she's like, ah!

I'm like, I'm fired.

I'm so fired.

This thing is going to come off.

I will never work again.

Never. Like, I just got to do something else.

We're going home. We got flag football and basketball games.

And we're going home to see my husband's stepfather. I need to...

Ladies and gentlemen, Los Angeles!

Ow, I hit my hand in that.

Los Angeles.

It's Marina del Rey. It doesn't look like Los Angeles.

I don't want to be running one of you to the hospital instead of being on stage.

Thank you.

Priorities.

I guess

LA is

always an uncomfortable show.

LA industry people, they don't know how to just...

But last dynamic, it's fine.

You think, oh, you have all these people there that you know. It's hometown, and

they're usually more reserved.

Oh, man, I'm so late.

And to add to the stress of the day, we also had trouble getting into the venue.

The security people didn't even have me on the list. They didn't recognize me.

I'm not Josh Groban's wife, apparently.

She's like, she's not the artist. She's not the artist who's on stage.

Well, I have Drunk's wife here, but not his wife.

Oh, my God. That's my ego.

This child never fails.

It's going to be okay.

I'm consoling my wife, and she is consoling me.

Well, I was just thinking that maybe you could give me a massage before you go

upstairs.

You just say the way, the soulfulness, and then... Mm -hmm, calming.

Yeah. Just his voice alone.

He has a very calming voice.

Yeah. He could be a pastor.

I feel like L .A. makes me more nervous because here I feel like I have to prove

myself maybe. That's what's the underlying tone, you know, wanting to be

accepted. And I hate even that idea of wanting to be accepted.

She gave me a heads up about a couple times.

She did?

She's worried that I might get emotional.

are surprised to hear from me.

I still have your number memorized.

I know it's been eight years, but I still got these butterflies.

I know am I so crazy?

Every day I experience her. It's just like wife and mother. And coming here, I

get to experience her.

You know, while she's out there doing her thing, it's like, is that my wife?

music because you have to write both universal and what's specific and unique

only you in order for a song to be great and that's really hard to do but I

love that about songwriting.

It's one thing about me. Maybe it's the pessimist.

I never celebrate too long, you know. It's probably because

when your parents divorce and you don't expect that they would ever get

divorced, I think that that's tinged the way that I see my whole life because

you never know. Nothing's ever what it seems. So, like, sure, this show read

seemed cool and it seemed like something really special, but you never know. It

could just end tomorrow.

You get this big Broadway show, you get an agent, you get a record deal that

I've been trying to get.

I got some money, you know.

So you think it's happening.

Then after my record deal and the album came out and it didn't do anything,

literally two people would be at each bar we showed up at.

I was like, I have a big album coming out. It just came out of this hit show.

Where are all the people?

And then I got dropped and then the momentum from Rent was gone.

I sold no records. I went into obscurity for a couple of years.

I've had a lot of highs and lows. So you start to realize how fleeting all this

stuff can be and how you just, when it comes, you've got to grasp it. This was

my first single. It's called Minuet.

The single was six most added on the radio the first week it came out.

It was between Madonna's Way of Light and some Babyface song. I don't remember

what it was.

And I just thought, you know...

I had it all figured out. I had, like, the rock star fantasy in my head. I just

knew. I just knew the next day they were going to be flying me back to New York

in a jet.

Steven Meisel was going to be waiting there to take my picture for the cover

Rolling Stone.

Next thing you know, I'd be whisked off in a limousine to where I'd be opening

at Madison Square Garden.

And I get there, just, like, walking towards the light.

And I hear, like, they're waiting for me.

What really happened?

The first time I heard my song on the radio, they called it Minute by Idina

Menzel. I just kind of started all over again.

And it wasn't until eight years later that...

They called me to come in for some show called Wicked and start working on that.

Nobody's seen it before, you know, you can have that freedom to really discover

who they are and build it piece by piece.

Actually, none of it seems to matter.

You're one of the few people who can pull off green.

Oh, my God.

I'm thinking I want to be green.

Give her some space, guys.

When you're doing readings and workshopping a new show, you never know

money might fall out or something will happen. It's rare you see something.

make its way all the way through to the Broadway stage.

Idina Menzel takes home her first Tony

Award, playing the part of Elphaba in the original musical Wicked. She was

nominated for a featured actress in a musical in 1996 for Rent.

I am so proud to be in a musical that celebrates women, that celebrates their

strengths and their differences.

Kids come with their parents and they get it on a whole different level.

I think that's the...

The best part of the whole experience for me, the impact it's having on

people. When you get tired and the eight shows a week starts to get you down and

you might have a cold, I try to remember these kids that are out there.

The thing is, I'm not a cook. The one thing I do is give him good parenting.

So he gets it like every day and he thinks I'm the best.

Dude.

Let's go, let's go.

Little one, come here.

Go get that.

Brush your teeth.

Yeah, good parenting.

My entire identity was...

wrapped up in being a singer even, not even an actor.

This is what everyone paid attention to ever since I was a little girl.

This is what makes me different and special in the world. This is who I am.

don't have that, who am I?

So when you become a parent and you realize that they're just relying on you

love and protection, it sort of liberates you in this way.

Not that a woman should define herself as a mother either. I feel like we put

ourselves in so many labels. Am I a working mom? Am I not a working mom?

being in perpetual conflict with yourself.

It's like guilty that you're leaving.

But there's this part of me that's sort of excited to be on the road without him

for a couple days because I can sleep in and focus on myself.

But then that, you know, feels wrong.

I've got to focus on the baby thing. It's really amazing. Like, when I'm

and doing tour, the count, follicles, TMI, gets

so low. But then when I'm home and I'm, like, just hanging, the doctors were

like, you know, this can totally still happen for you. That's why they've kept

my hopes alive.

How are you feeling? How's the meds? I feel fine. Are you here now with New

for a couple of... No, but I can keep coming back. I'm here. I'm close.

Okay, well, let's take it off. Yeah, so we have a couple of advanced Iggy's, but

some are ready, some are not.

What's your instinct?

Should we grab them? Can I take a look at your blood work today? Yeah. Then we

decide. What is the next step? Should we pursue or not? It's a very easy

retrieval. It should not be too much pain. It can go right back to work if we

need to.

But at the same time, is it worth it or not worth it? I do want to take a look

at your blood work.

Okay. And then to decide.

Good news or bad news?

Kind of mediocre.

I guess it's bad news. If you want them to be like, oh yeah, it's going to be a

great cycle.

I remember when Dana was born.

And they wanted to name her after an I.

But they couldn't find the name. So they took the word named Dina and they put

the I in front of her and they called her Idina.

And we call her Idina. But I guess you guys call her Dina.

No, nobody calls me Dina.

Idina with a short I.

Idina. Idina. Some shoot me. Some shoot me. So we'll be here if I made a

mistake. People are always having trouble with my name.

Idina Menzel.

Please welcome the wickedly talented, one and only Adele Dazeem.

Do you know, like, when you had to perform at the Oscars? Yeah.

Adele Dazeem. And then, eight seconds, the band starts, and I'm like, get

your... together, come on, this is your moment, like, stop worrying about that

he messed up your name. Sing, bitch, you know.

There's no clothes white on the mountain range.

Retrospectively, how do you feel about that moment now? It was the greatest

thing ever happened to me.

He's going to be a household name within 24 hours.

I was like, I need somebody to say my name wrong.

He's written so many nice, apologetic emails.

He's so kind. And I just always say, no worries, because it was the best thing

that ever happened.

I'm not leaving without you, Elsa.

Yes, you are.

No, I know we can figure this out together, Elsa. How?

What power do you have to stop this winter?

to stop me.

Whenever I'd go into a recording studio with a big -time producer or songwriter,

they'd sort of admonish me and say like, oh, you're too expressive.

You have to all that Broadway training, you know, or you have to sound more like

Sheryl Crow. Throw it away.

They would have all of these rules, like theater people never, you know, never

going to get on the radio on a pop station. And then all of a sudden, come

like 15 years later, I'm like...

Taking my kids to school and Z100's on and I hear, let it go.

I'm like, what the hell? And you just can't worry about those rules. And I did

for a long time. You just got to keep moving and going and taking work that

makes you feel good and surround yourself with people that teach you

just keep going.

Frozen is the second highest grossing animated film in history.

Frozen is now out on DVD, and more than 3 million copies were sold on its first

day of release on Tuesday.

It was so crazy how it just, overnight, it just sort of became this thing. It's

become like this huge pop culture moment.

The success of Let It Go and Frozen, that was a huge defining moment for me.

my thing with Elsa is more about like...

harnessing this incredible power we all have in ourselves. And so often in the

world, we're like, watch out, that's too much for people. That's going to, you

know, be off -putting, especially with women, you know. That anger, that

ferocity, that magic, sorcery that you have, whatever it is that you have, that

thing that makes you really exceptional and incredible in life.

The kingdom of isolation And it looks like I'm the queen

The wind is howling Like the swirling storm

inside Couldn't keep it in Heaven knows I

tried

I love that I get to perform these songs for young audiences, but they're

actually great reminders for all of us to just stop making yourself smaller so

other people can feel better.

Just refining.

Watch, there's Walker, there's Walker. He caught it and he runs it in! Come on!

Are you screaming?

Oh my God, I can't hear you.

Oh, well, you know, I was saving my voice actually a little bit.

Oh, and then I didn't tell you guys, some kids tackle them, you're not

to tackle.

Aaron and Tay both, hey, hey, watch it, watch it! And then the ref comes

over and starts yelling at the parents, like, guys, I got this, hold it, and

then Tay, in defense of Aaron, goes, Listen, it's just parents here, man.

just parents.

And then it was like a bonding moment. I wish you got your film back. I know.

It's hilarious.

Remember when our rider, just like dinosaurs, was here?

And then all of a sudden, these kids at school didn't take him to the basketball

team. And he's like, nobody's going to tell me I can't do it.

Yeah. Sound like anybody you know?

Don't tell me not to live, just sit and putter.

Life's candy and the sun's a ball of butter.

Don't bring around a cloud of rain on my parade.

Don't tell me not to lie, I simply got you. If someone takes and spills, it's

and not you.

Who told you you're allowed to rain on my parade?

Isn't it beautiful?

And you did it all with a horrible mother.

I didn't come to any games.

Excuse me?

I guess I didn't make it. Oh,

you hung up on me this time.

The performance I do with Josh and then having family, going back and forth and

traveling, I don't hang out with the band in between cities sometimes, so

nice to bond with them.

Loved ones, we couldn't do what we do without every single person on the team.

Like we're friends, and let's just make fun music together, you know?

Whenever the band and I are just vibing together in a spontaneous way, stuff

always comes up.

The time we were doing Aretha, it hit me that her song Respect and Take Me or

Leave Me actually have a similar chord progression.

She doesn't sing the same way every evening.

Do you like this here? And what do you think about this? And she has really

great ideas like take me or leave me.

gift and a curse for me people in this business they want to pigeonhole you

stylistically when you're versatile and you can do a bunch of things that

confuses them they don't know how to market you when you're eclectic like

you think it would be something that would excite them but it makes their

more difficult who are you

And so I've struggled with that my whole life because I've been inspired by so

many different kinds of artists.

Are you a Broadway girl? Are you a pop girl? Do you sing rock and roll? Who are

you? What do you want to be? It's like, I'm all these things, and all these

things make up who I am. So I was thinking about this song to cover

was a song that I used to listen to with my boyfriend back in junior high school

when we'd drive around Long Island trying to find Billy Joel's house.

And... It's not a Billy Joel song, but...

So we started working on this in the rehearsal with the band, trying to come

with our own cool arrangement.

And when we get to the bridge, forget about Mads for now. When she comes in,

we'll play around with her. Can you do the pretty piano thing you were doing?

Play it on piano. Yeah.

Sean, can we do it the way we did it, like just me and you and maybe Oz?

Really, really sparse.

And Sean Hurley over here on the bass, he started playing this bass line.

Yeah.

This is how it would start.

Making love to you was never second.

where I grew up.

I have a complicated relationship with my hometown.

They always want you to fit in when you're out here.

You want to wear what everyone else is wearing, have the same car everyone else

has, you know, otherwise you feel like you stand out and get bullied.

That's why I wanted to go to NYU, because Manhattan, you know, you don't

fit in. They don't want you to fit in. You can be whatever you want to be.

What's on us is memories of hard work, school, and then gigging, and then

to fit in with the kids at school, but then going late at night on a Friday or

Saturday, missing a party because I wanted to work and sing at somebody's

mitzvah.

This.

was the location of the very final last club date, which is

like a cool way of saying wedding or bar mitzvah gig, that I ever did in my

entire life after doing it on and off for like eight years.

Yeah, this is it.

Well, this is the thing that people don't realize is we don't usually come

that way. We usually come in this way.

This way.

This way.

So we just come in like this.

All decked out in a gorgeous little black cocktail dress.

Ladies with an attitude.

Fellas that were in the mood.

Don't just stand there. Let's get to it. Strike a pose. There's nothing to it.

Vogue. But I never could do the vogue.

I couldn't do it.

So whenever I'd be up here, whether it was a decent gig where it felt musical

and I felt appreciated or it was horrendous and cheesy and, you know,

people yelling at you.

Either way, I always stood up here and I was like, I'm going to, this isn't

going to be all for me.

This is from a show called Rent.

Yeah.

It's the very first show I ever got. My first big break.

Back in New York City, down in the village.

And it changed my life.

It really did.

Just finally someone seeing something in me and hiring

me and believing in me.

And that man was Jonathan Larson, who was the composer of Rent.

He wrote a show all about, well, really love.

About loving whoever the hell you want.

And embracing the moment, not taking things for granted.

Not taking people for granted.

Trying to stay present, you know, and live every day.

And so it's our last.

And he didn't stay with us very long. We lost him very early on in our process.

The night of our first, it was supposed to be your first audience, the night of

our first audience.

We were supposed to show up at around 3 o 'clock at the theater, and we got a

call and told us to come a little bit later that Jonathan Larson had passed

in his kitchen in his apartment downtown.

So that was just crazy.

We dedicate this opening night and every performance to our friend Jonathan

Larson. It became this mission for everyone involved.

It was more than just, oh, wow, we got our first Broadway show. It was like,

we had a mission to get forth this man's music and his love and his message.

He was a struggling artist, just like the rest of us.

So everything's always been so bittersweet about that because he never

enjoy all the accolades.

The love that everybody was sending back our way through that show.

Till now, till tomorrow night, you know, till every concert that I ever do.

It's like, it's thanks to him. I have fans from 23 years ago growing up with

Their kids now see Frozen, you know, that's how deep it goes.

And that's because of him.

And I find as the years go by that the impact and the...

meaning of what he wrote starts to resonate more and more.

As an artist, we're always a conduit for what's going on in our lives and what

we're feeling emotionally and what's going on in the world.

Our Pittsburgh show is just a few days after the synagogue shooting, so I had

acknowledge it.

And you know, the songs, they take on new meaning. And what a testament to

Jonathan Larson and his music. That show was all about tolerance.

It was about love.

It was about community.

If we could use a song tonight while I'm sitting here in this beautiful city.

A Jewish girl from Long Island.

I thought about how we light candles in the Jewish religion.

Sort of choosing light over darkness.

Choosing love over bigotry.

Give it.

today.

Wait, where's Halloween?

Oh, so we're home. Day off here.

We're home. How long does it take to drive from L .A. to Salt Lake?

When I signed on for the tour, I told them, I'm only doing it if I could have

two days off to take Walker trick -or -treating and go home for Halloween.

We're planning to fly home this morning. For Halloween.

To Denver, the following night would be nine hours. She wasn't here for that.

Yeah, there was two drivers.

We had a 12 -hour drive here.

There's my child.

Hi.

Hi, babe.

Oh,

good. Do you want me to do a little with you?

Who's making all that racket down there?

Which one is it? Same one. Same one. It's a person, right?

It was hard for me to hear because the reception went out. You see anything?

No. Well, can you hear me?

Can you hear anything?

I'm going to call you. This is a bad reception here. I'm going to go do those

two songs with Josh and call you right back, okay?

All right, I love you. I'll call you right back and go over it with you.

and I decided not to bring in Walker this weekend because he's got all these

games and I won't have seen him for like two and a half weeks. So what kind of

mother does that make me? And then I'm thinking, why am I choosing to do this

whole IVF thing? There's only that many eggs, so it's like I've got to rush it

in. Why am I rushing it in on the one week I decide to film a documentary for

Madison Square Garden and capture this dream and try to fly my kid in and do

everything all at once and then I'm just going to get sick and not be able to

sing it anyway.

Remember, Gia, when you were like, if we do this documentary, you have to, like,

have your hair done when you wake up in the morning.

Eyeshadow on mascara, like, waterproof mascara.

Beyonce was doing it. She looked great. And the minute she woke up out of bed,

I'm like, I cannot do that. That is exhausting.

Do you wanna go to Snowman?

Come on, let's go and play.

I never see you anymore.

Sing with me. Come out the door.

I love you. Go take pictures.

You want me to take pictures? Yeah, take pictures.

One second, Sonny. I don't see my son's name.

I'm wondering if he missed it because he was away with me.

He's writing the teacher a note.

It's an indescribable feeling to connect with these young kids every night on

stage.

But it also can make me miss my own son. It doesn't have to be a snowman.

Okay, bye.

Apparently we're in Chicago.

No. Where are we? We're in Detroit.

What time zone are we on right now?

No, we're east now?

morning. Well, she's not allowed, but I didn't want to start a whole thing.

I don't want to talk to you. You made me die.

Thank you. Good morning to you too, sir.

Honey, love you.

No big gloopy parts.

I know.

Okay,

we can open.

All right, get to the car. Get to the car.

Walker,

are you all right?

Dracula.

Take your pumpkin.

Where are we?

How we doing, Milwaukee?

What's going on, Philly?

Are you ready?

We're going to get to the theater. Not the theater. We're not at theaters.

at arenas.

Arenas!

After retrieval you have been sleeping, right? No, I've been awake. You've been

awake, okay.

Were you able to do something after retrieval here, though? Yeah, I did six

hours of recording frozen.

It looks better.

So I think we should go for it. Okay, cool.

Are you okay?

It's just uncomfortable, not painful.

More than I was just bleeding a lot more than I remember.

Keep doing your thing.

Drink that tea. I don't know.

I'm just annoyed because I said to that lady, are they all a good size?

And usually they would be like, well, there's one really big one.

She was like, yeah, they're all.

So it's the concern that the big one takes over and prevents the other ones

growing? Mm -hmm.

That's what all the medicine's about, like suppressing and growing the others.

Such a headache. Why do I have such a headache?

And probably because you're getting off the water.

One, two, one, two, one, two.

What's 26 -year -old you saying to you right now? She has an accent, a bad Long

Island accent. She's like, oh, my God.

Adina, you made it to the big time.

That's amazing.

She's saying you did it, girl.

She's saying, see, I told you. I knew you'd do it all the time.

No matter how big the venue is, tonight it's Madison Square Garden, but years

ago it was the Bitter End back in the village.

My goal is always to feel like it's a living room, like, you know, we're just

still talking and telling a story.

All those girls that were mean to me in high school.

See ya!

Putting bubble gum under my car handle.

I had, like, the rock star fantasy in my head. I just knew. I just knew. Do you

remember the time when I couldn't pay my musician?

I remember you asking. I was like, did I have 40 bucks to pay my drummer?

Yeah. And you did?

I did.

Tupac, check.

Deodorant, check.

Parents, check. I saw Rent 265 times. I saw Wicked 282 times.

Square Garden, the world's most famous arena.

I'm going there now to see my daughter, silly Madison Square.

Hi, guys.

I'm enormously proud of her.

I just want to enjoy it.

It took 47 years to get here, and now I'm nervous.

You've got to take these moments in, you know?

And I'm from New York City!

I want to thank

all of you for showing up and making it possible for me to do this tonight.

And for showing up to all my shows throughout the years and supporting me.

I love you all. Thank you.

This is for you.

And while maybe That we will never meet

again In this lifetime So let

me say before we part So much of me Is made

of what I learned you you'll be with me

like a handprint on my heart and now

whatever way our stories end I know you have

rewritten mine by being mine

Because I knew you Because I knew you

Because I knew you

I have

been

It's a little girl from Long Island coming

to Manhattan all the time with her parents, then going to school at NYU.

Stomping around the city, struggling to be noticed.

This city welcomes every crazy creature like us.

To feel different.

To embrace what makes them different.

Something has changed within me.

Something is not the same.

I'm through with playing by the rules of someone else's game.

Too late for a second to sing.

Too late to go back to sleep.

It's time.

Trust my instincts.

Close my eyes and leave.

It's time to...

If someone says they're so,

some things I cannot change.

But till I try, I'll never know.

Too long I've been afraid of losing love. I get the rush.

Well, in this love it comes at.

Don't want to believe me

that's it

So it's towards the end of the tour, we're playing D .C., and we hear a high

school there was putting on their own production of Rent. We're going to

surprise this class.

Hi, how are you? Thanks for having us.

So they have no idea you're here.

the show is to live in the moment and not take anything for granted.

Do you think that you took that into your own life?

I think I do.

Yeah. I forget all the time, obviously.

I have my own anxiety and my own neuroses and fears and

nerves and all those things that I contend with still.

At your age, I was just like, let me out. Let me out. I can wow anybody.

As I got older, maybe more people are looking at me.

Sometimes it makes me get a little bit more.

I'm introverted and insecure.

But being a mom and a parent helps me also stay in the moment because if I'm

going to think too much about all the other superficial things in life, I have

to worry about my child, you know, and be here right now. I think that everyone

tries to survive in this world and make their way. We all find different ways to

do that, and some of us feel like we have to take the safer path.

and other people feel a little bit more comfortable at certain times in their

life taking risks.

This tour taught me so much about who I am as a person,

what I have to offer.

But most importantly, I just want to be as honest and real as I can in my life.

make a real connection.

We tried many times to have a baby,

but it just wasn't meant to be.

And that's okay, you know, because I have a beautiful son and husband, and

is my family.

We're going to go home and get home in time to pick up Walker from school and

just, you know, keep it real, man.

Mondays we got basketball practice.

Life goes on.

And then I show up and say, hi, Mr. Blue, how was your weekend?

This used to be my bus stop.

Right across the street.

This is the dumpster.

Yeah, my dad was right.

137.

Everything looks small when you return to it when you're a grown -up, right?

This doesn't look like anybody's home.

For some reason, I thought I was going to...

be like an alternative rock star or something and like a mosh pit would be

and I'd just stage dive into the audience. We're going to try to stage

He's having a heart attack about it every night.

I'm walking in the backyard.

I'm going to get arrested at my own house.

I know, I'm trusting.

I know, doggie. I know, dog.

There's like a big trench here and there's some...

11 -year -old girls, it'll drop me in. They don't go up to the stage. They're

not all standing.

Some of them are four or five years old.

Some are large, muscular gay men that are very interesting.