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(dramatic music)

(heavy breathing)

(energetic techno music)

- [Man] Mmhmm (moaning).

- Uhh that lemon had a really thick rind.

- Cheaper than condoms.

- That's true.

Are you finishing yourself?

- No I'm untangling my testes you know it's really numb.

- Baby I'm sorry.

Would it help if you stretched first?

- All the stretching in the world

won't make my leg bend that way.

- Know what?

I had an idea.

(laughing)

- Okay.

- What if we choreographed the move like dancers?

Right?

Step one I lift my leg, step two you lift your leg.

- [Man] If you lift your leg--

- I meant as an example.

- And I lift my leg.

- [Woman] Okay.

- Then you can pivot your pelvis.

- Oh whoa I see ya got your circulation back there.

- Oh yeah (laughs).

- Joel.

Joel.

- Oh, Amber.

- I wanna meet your parents.

- I thought when you meet the parents I mean

it meant something you know.

- I know.

- I thought that this was going to be just a fling.

I mean you know like, a one night stand or something.

- This one night stand has lasted seven months.

I mean come on wouldn't you like our relationship

to include just a little bit more than sex?

- Like what?

- Like, talking about important stuff.

- We talk about lemons I mean it's okay.

- More important than lemons.

Like what happens when we have no more lemons.

- No more lemons.

- Look.

We're getting to that age right?

Wouldn't it be better if we could make

that decision for ourselves?

Do you really wanna end up with someone with like,

(sighing) six fingers and missing teeth?

Come on!

We already act like an old married couple.

Look if we don't do something now

we may lose everything that we have.

(Joel sighing)

Look at me.

Can you really say goodbye to this?

(Joel sighing)

- You know my mother always said,

trust the database.

- I'm sure she did.

- Let's get married baby.

- [Amber] Okay.

(laughing)

Okay.

- Let's get married.

(gentle piano music)

- Nora, the coffee tastes funny.

- It's tea.

- This tea tastes fine.

You make some oatmeal?

- This morning.

- Made oatmeal this morning?

- I ate it this morning.

(clanging)

We're out of oatmeal.

- I just bought a large container of oatmeal.

- [Nora] I'm using it for mulch for the garden.

- Since when?

- This morning.

- [Man] You mad at me?

- No.

- It's been a long time since I had saltines for breakfast.

- [Nora] How are they?

- Stale, do we have any milk?

- No.

- You sure you're not mad at me?

- Yes.

- [Man] Birthday.

- No.

- Anniversary.

- [Nora] No.

- Did I promise I'd do something today?

- No.

- You wanna take a walk?

- I took a walk this morning.

- [Man] You are mad at me.

- No.

- I wish I had some oatmeal.

- I'm sick of oatmeal.

- [Man] You don't have to eat it.

- You don't have to either.

- Keeps me regular.

- What doesn't keep you regular?

Came this morning.

Go ahead read it.

- Your pen pal.

- It's a very small note.

- You'll let me know if he gets paroled.

- Don't worry, he's never leaving prison.

- The man has a lot of time his hands.

- What's done is done.

- I wish you'd get another hobby.

- Make me.

(sighs)

What did you just sigh about?

- I'm gonna go back to bed

and pretend this is all a nightmare.

- I don't have to pretend it is.

- Nothing's changed from last night.

You're fine just the way you are.

- No, I'm really not.

- Well there's nothing we can do about it.

- I'm willing to take big, big...

So sorry, small steps.

- If you'd told me 20 years ago--

- You wouldn't be here today.

- How can you be so sure?

(dramatic piano music)

- I think she's coming.

Yeah.

- Come.

Fix the couch, fix the couch.

(sirens blaring in the background)

- Hello, my name is Fran Lynde.

(suspenseful music)

- [Joel] Welcome to our home.

- [Amber] Uh, would you care for some lemonade?

- Your dwelling is very humble.

- Can I say something?

- It's not customary,

but I do have a reputation for being something of a rebel.

- That means I can say something right?

- Yes.

- I, we're,

we're grateful that --

- Yes, yes, thank you.

Everyone says it.

- You two are in love, aren't you?

- [Both] Yes.

- And you're probably feeling things.

Very strong things.

- [Both] Yes.

- Feelings you've never felt before.

- Yes.

- You're feeling feelings that other people

have felt before.

Think about that.

You can't walk around as if you're the very first people

to ever fall in love, because you're not.

My husband and I were very much in love,

many, many years ago, long before you were born.

If we can fall in love, anyone can fall in love.

- Yeah.

Can you, can you, rewind that?

A little bit.

For me.

- By figuring things out for yourselves,

you defeat the whole purpose of learning from an expert.

Shall we begin?

- Yeah.

Yeah, you...

You, uh....

May I offer you a seat?

Good.

(sighing)

- How often do you two have sex with each other?

- [Both] Every night.

- That often?

Seven days a week?

How unusual.

Couples will typically have sex only 2.3 times a week.

Why do you have sex so often?

- It helps us fall asleep.

- Do you have that much stress in your life?

Sex has been known to relieve tension.

Joel?

- It just helps me.

- Do either of you use any drugs

to enhance your sexual experience?

- Yes. - No.

- You use drugs during sex?

- I mean, I mean,

I use some antihistamines, you know,

because she likes it. - Joel, calm down.

How is the sex better when you use antihistamines?

- Before we go to bed,

I take some antihistamines,

just to pop my sinuses.

- Sinuses. - Sinuses.

If I don't, my sinuses give me hard time,

when I'm busy kissing down there.

- Joel, I'm gonna put down no as the answer

to that question.

And do yourself a favor if you are asked that question

in future audits, answer no.

Joel, this question is for you.

If you were in a rowboat,

with Amber and your mother,

and the rowboat capsized,

and you could only save one of them,

who would you save?

- I can't swim.

- Let's say you can for the sake of argument.

- My mom knows how to swim.

- That's not the question.

- You said you can't even stand your mother.

- But she's my mother.

What if she asks me?

I can't lie to my mother, no.

- Yeah, but you don't have to tell her anything.

- Yeah, but if she knew I picked you instead,

she would be mad, I mean you know that.

How will I ever face her, I mean, come on.

- How will you ever face me?

- I pick Amber.

The right answer, right?

- No.

Let's move on to the instructional.

(soothing piano music)

(sighing)

- Let's get rid of the fence.

- Hm?

- Or curtains.

New carpeting will warm the place up.

- Can't we leave things the way they are?

- Well, you know, some shelves, plants.

So it looks like someone lives here.

(chuckling)

Pictures on the walls!

- They'd just take those away too.

- They didn't take away the table or the sofa.

- They weren't illegal.

Just the pictures.

And the bookshelves.

- We need more light.

- I like it dark.

- Let's paint the room...

Black.

- (chuckling) Don't be ridiculous,

nobody paints their living room black.

- How hard can it be?

- (sighing) Can't we leave things the way it is?

It's always been like this.

- No, it was nicer before.

It wasn't always like this, it was nicer before.

Carpet.

- What's wrong with the floors?

- Well, nothing's wrong.

- What do you want me to do?

- Some natural light to come in.

You know, I think an arched window would look really nice.

- There isn't enough room

between the top of the window and the ceiling

for an arched window.

(sighing)

- What did you just sigh about?

- I was making calculations.

- Calculations don't make people sigh.

- The window is 71 inches wide.

A right triangle with a 12 inch rise

along a 35 and one half inch run,

gives us a slope of 0.338 which,

by calculating its inverse tangent,

gives us a angle 18.68 degrees,

which is the angle at which the arch

would meet the to of the window.

18.68 degrees.

That's why I was sighing.

Yuck.

- So a new window is out of the question?

- Knowledge doesn't happen in a vacuum.

I wouldn't be able to explain how I know what I know.

- Well, how would they know?

- Everything's the same, every year for 20 years,

except for the arched window?

You don't think the auditors will ask questions?

I can paint the walls, you know,

anyone can paint, no suspicion.

- If you don't want to do it,

get up and throw something,

or yell, scream!

Anything!

- I can paint the walls.

- You would?

- Keep my hands busy, my mind calm.

- Well, build me a house.

- Too many questions.

- Do something original!

- How?

For God's sake, tell me how!

I've done everything you've asked,

what more can I possibly do?

- Can't you see what's wrong with that?

- Isn't that what I'm supposed to do?

- If I wasn't here, in your life, what would you have done?

- I don't want to think about that.

- What did I interrupt?

What did I keep you away from?

Who did I keep you away from?

- Some pictures from far away places

would have looked nice on that wall.

- Let's tear down this house.

Let's set fire to its foundations.

Let the neighbors see the smoke for miles around, huh?

Let's leave everything in here buried in ash.

- We can't do that.

(Nora sighing)

- I want to keep trying but I don't know how.

- Can we just use the bed?

- We changed protocols several years ago.

Some of our young clients would get quite randy.

(Joel chuckling)

Let's begin.

Oh!

That's no longer part of the protocol, either.

So, Amber?

Would you mind sitting back and let Joel come to you?

Thank you.

Now Joel?

It's customary for the man to lead.

Statistics bear out that, in the long term,

coupling is most successful when the male is dominant.

- I thought that if either one was dominant--

- Have you two been experimenting with alternatives?

- I mean, you just hear stories,

and, you know, it makes you wonder, and...

It's all about experiences, though.

- That's why these site visits are so important.

Now Joel!

It's customary for the man to lead.

- Yep.

What if there are two men?

Who leads then?

- Who have you been hearing these stories from?

- [Joel] You just hear stories.

- You two do understand why this is so important?

Why we take this so seriously?

- Yes.

- It's important that I hear you two say it.

- Strong individuals lead to strong couples.

Strong couples lead to strong families.

Strong families lead to strong communities.

Strong communities lead to a strong nation and--

- Wait!

Let Joel finish.

- A strong nation leads to a strong economy,

which makes everybody strong.

- I'm glad to see you've read through

the application thoroughly.

Not everyone does.

Now, let's assume all the, uh, preliminaries are completed,

and you are sufficiently moist.

Now Joel, get down on all fours,

and climb on top of her.

- Amber, your job is to help guide him inside you.

- What if he's not hard?

- If you're moist then he's hard.

That's mother nature's synchronicity.

Joel, once you're inside her, thrust.

No!

Not like that.

From the hips! (Joel groaning)

Once, (Joel groaning)

twice, (Joel grunting)

and if you can thrust three times before ejaculating,

consider yourself ahead of the curve.

- Okay, darling, you can stop now.

- Okay.

- That's why we have you do this fully clothed.

The whole purpose for this instructional

is to help dissipate your impulse for experimentation.

I'm bending a little rule here,

showing this to you,

but I want to give you a taste

of what you can look forward to.

- 1,001 Ways to Enjoy the Missionary Position.

- Once abstinence-only instructionals proved ineffective,

our Founding Fathers commissioned this study.

If you can't outlaw behavior,

then you must regulate it.

This saved my marriage.

(woman breathing heavily)

(sighing)

- I guess I'm just used to doing it on holidays,

anniversaries, birthdays.

- Guess what?

This is my real birthday.

- Happy birthday.

(both sighing)

- Pretend that you're a teenager,

and I'm your girl,

and this is your parent's bed,

and they're not home.

Tell me what you'd say to me

to make me take my clothes off.

- (sighing) I don't know.

Gee, it's hot in here?

- Yes, it is.

I think I'll take this off.

- Oh, no, no, don't.

If it doesn't work, I don't wanna hurt your feelings.

- Look at me.

- We're more dignified than this.

- Pretend that this is an expensive hotel room.

- We can't afford that.

- Then it's a sleazy, cheap motel room,

and I'm a hooker that you picked up.

- I wouldn't cheat on you.

- I'm your wife.

- You're my wife.

You are my wife!

(laughing)

- Then I'm your mistress.

- What is wrong with how we've been doing it?

- How have we been doing it?

- You know!

- Pretend that I don't.

- We get dressed up.

You put on your black dress.

I put on my suit and shoes,

and we walk across the street to the tavern.

We eat.

We ask the tavern owner what's the good word,

he tells about his son who he hasn't seen in years.

Then we walk back, put away our clothes,

we climb into bed, and then we make love.

- And why can't we do that tonight.

- The tavern is closed.

- When you were a kid,

did you ever dream about your future?

- I've wondered what my funeral would be like.

- Not so far in the future.

- It wasn't that far.

- I didn't think I'd live this long.

I'm used to things a certain way.

I like you just sitting in the bed.

- Like how?

- Like I'm sitting here,

and you're sitting here.

- Sitting here?

- Yes.

Just sitting here, we just sit.

- Like this?

- Exactly like this.

- Then what?

- Just sit.

You're lost in your thoughts, I'm lost in mine.

And suddenly, I realize that you're sitting right there,

and I can't concentrate.

I feel the heat tumbling off your body.

(sighing)

Do I really have erections while I'm asleep?

(soft tinkling music)

- I thought I had another pair of underwear.

- Here.

- Are you still mad about dinner?

- She can afford her own dinner.

- I was just trying to be polite.

- Yeah, well, your being polite could've been viewed

as an attempt at bribery.

- Thousands of couples go through this.

We have nothing to worry about.

- You don't know what ridiculous law you might be breaking!

- Like what?

- They outlawed hairpins

because some idiot was using them to pick locks.

We have to be on our best behavior.

We don't know they're judging us.

- Um.

I did a bad thing.

- Oh my God!

How did you get that?

- I don't know. - What if she wants

to read it tonight? - I don't know!

What does she need a sex manual for?

I mean, it's already saved her marriage,

so, I thought.

- This is a book.

We can't have this.

- I know it's a book, but...

- Stop it!

- What?

- Number 42.

The Missionary Position should always be enjoyed

during the evening hours.

It gives the couple a tangible goal

to work towards during the day.

Undertaking the Missionary Position during the morning hours

is strongly discouraged

because it depletes vital physical and mental resources

needed for job related tasks.

I win, I don't have to have sex with you in the morning.

- I'm always horny in the morning!

Oh...

Wonderful.

- Number 371.

- Okay, what?

- Listen. - Yeah.

- Couples may attempt multiple episodes

of the Missionary Position.

- Okay.

- However, the period between erections

(laughing) may vary depending on the male.

During these periods,

the female may engage in other activities,

such as laundry.

- But I always do the laundry.

- Because you like it.

- Here, you should hide this.

- Okay.

I went to the supermarket today.

- Oh, you're full of surprises.

- I know. (chuckling)

- Do you wanna know what I heard?

- Tell me!

- Sit back and relax.

This toothbrush,

it vibrates 30,000 times a second.

It's good for loosening up plaque beneath the gum line.

But, if I slowly,

put on your...

clitoris, and--

- Ow!

God, you're not supposed to use the bristle end!

- Oh!

Are you hurt?

- [Amber] Yes!

- I'm sorry.

Do you want me do something about it?

- No.

Did you use your toothbrush or mine?

- You need a new toothbrush.

- How come we hardly ever use the Missionary Position?

- Because it hurts my back.

Actually.

My back's kind of knotted up right now.

That spot right there.

Little higher.

- Higher?

(Amber groaning)

Let's write it down before I forget.

(Amber snoring)

- [Fran] Number 753.

The heightened pleasure from using a ribbed condom

is an urban myth.

Despite it's higher cost, countless scientific studies

have proven that using a ribbed condom

does not appreciably provide any additional pleasure

for the male.

(gentle piano music)

(groaning)

- My god!

Oh, are you hurt?

- No, no, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm, fine.

Nothing's broken, I'm okay.

I'm okay.

I'm missing something, though.

Do you see it on the stairs?

Do you think--

- I don't see it anywhere.

- Do you think it's uh...

- I'll take a look.

- (chuckling) I need a flashlight.

- I know, it's probably by my cervix.

- No, I couldn't have wedged it that far up there.

It's one of the very expensive kind,

it's ribbed.

- Oh, ribbed?

- You didn't notice?

- I didn't have time to notice.

- We have a perfectly good bed.

- Didn't you ever wonder what it would be like

to do it on the stairs?

- I'm just, I'm just not used to these angles,

and all this light, and...

- You know what I wanna do?

I wanna do it in every single room.

In the kitchen, in the basement, in the attic--

- Today?

- It doesn't have to be today.

We can make a plan.

- Can you, just,

check and see if it's...

You know, this floor is slippery,

I can't keep my balance.

- So why don't you take your socks off.

- Then my feet get cold.

We have a perfectly good bed!

- You know when we do it in bed,

we don't have to do it the same way every time.

You know what you could do?

You could touch me up here,

before you touch me down there.

- Could you just check and see if it's in there?

- I'd rather you do it.

- I'll need a flashlight.

- No, you don't need the flashlight.

- Yep, I'd feel more comfortable with a flashlight.

- All right.

- Okay.

Um, how do you sit,

you know, can you,

how do you, you know, when you see the doctor,

and you go ah?

How do you say ah for down there?

- Same way.

- Can you say ah?

(sighing)

- Do you remember what color it was?

- You don't need the flashlight.

(pleasurable sighing)

- I don't feel anything.

- Keep trying.

- I don't feel anything.

- Keep trying.

- I don't feel anything.

Look for it yourself.

This makes me nervous.

What if you get pregnant?

- I'd be the happiest woman in the world.

(both mumbling)

- Our relationship algorithm has been battle hardened

through many years of practical service.

Intelligence, temperament,

socialization are all dimensions

we take under consideration.

Error rates are statistically insignificant.

Longitudinal studies show our database demonstrates

far more successful couplings than random pairings.

After all, marriage is--

- Excuse me?

- Marriage is the bedrock of our society.

- Okay.

Can we get married now?

- This is the hardest part about my job.

Though you two seem very polite and happy together,

your compatibility chart would indicate that you are,

how do I say this,

not compatible.

- No?

- No, that can't be.

- Your predispositions are insurmountable.

It's a wonder you two get along at all.

On paper, you shouldn't.

- Can we take more tests?

- We don't need to waste our time on any further testing.

Sometimes the data is self-evident.

You can tell a child will grow up to be a gifted politician

by the way he avoids responsibility.

- So, what happens now?

- Your data will be fed into a computer,

and you'll indexed with someone more suitable.

- A complete stranger?

- In most cases.

- I mean, do we have to go through with that process?

- Once you've declared your eligibility for marriage,

you can't un-declare.

It's the institution that's important,

the details are interchangeable.

Without the haze of lust,

only can true compatibility be found.

Maybe even love.

As T approaches infinity,

successful couples who base their decisions

on sexual attraction approaches zero.

You will save yourself the undue burden

of your inevitable divorce fees.

- Um.

Um, um, I'm somehow confused.

- You will be married.

Just not to each other.

- Isn't there some way that we can work around the system?

- And how would that happen?

- That would be my turn.

I'm sorry, baby.

What if we had something,

that was valuable to you?

- Officers! - Stop, no!

(alarm blaring) - Officers, officers!

(alarm blaring)

- What's going on?

Kick your fucking ass!

(dangerous orchestral music)

- Will I have any trouble with you?

(birds chirping)

(exhaling)

- Nora.

Close the door.

Lock it.

Get the blinds.

- Where'd you go?

- Do you know what this is? - Oh my god!

- A tomato.

Hm?

Thought of by the general population as a vegetable,

but classified by botanists as a fruit.

The confusion created by the endless lawsuits led

to an outright ban by the government 17 years ago.

But the real reason,

was because archeologists discovered definitive proof

that this was the forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden,

not the pomegranate!

A banana.

It might have had the same fate as the tomato,

but not so many scientists were passionate

about reclassifying it as an herb.

It was banned 10 years ago because its public consumption

was deemed too sexually provocative.

(smacking)

Dried sea cucumber.

I don't know how anybody could mistake this for a vegetable.

Sea cucumbers were banned because,

though never scientifically proven,

they were considered to be a powerful aphrodisiac.

Beer!

Considered the drink of the common man,

the government banned this because it had decreed

that no one should ever consider themselves common.

Now.

If I drink this, can we please go back

to the way things were before?

- I'm not mad at you.

- Then why are you sleeping on the sofa?

- If there's any disagreements between us, it's...

It's, well, you'd just smooth over it

as if it was nothing to you.

- I didn't want to upset you.

- I feel more like your roommate than I do your wife.

Ever since the diagnosis.

I miss the messiness in our lives.

- [Evan] Isn't that the goal?

- Yeah, but where's the, the prize?

Where's the trophy for winning?

- I don't know.

I don't know what you want.

- Just ask me.

- What if I can't give it to you?

- Don't you think I know you well enough,

after all these years, to know what you're capable of?

- So what do you,

what can I do for you?

- Um, tell me a story?

Like you used to,

when you were reading all those books of yours.

- I ran out of stories.

- Oh, I wouldn't mind hearing them a second time.

- They're just fantasies!

Written by people who followed their dreams,

about people who followed their dreams.

Who writes stories about people

who don't follow their dreams?

- I don't mind if I've heard it before.

- The poetry of our youth,

the clichés that we used,

the stories that everyone tells

about the shared experiences of fulfillment and joy,

but the pain of a broken heart,

remains the same.

- I never thought of you as a roommate.

- When did you write that stuff?

- After we met, you never talked to me.

- Yeah, it took us a while, didn't it?

- People are quite nice here.

Nothing like the stories you've heard.

It's like being at work.

They tell us what to do,

when to do it.

- It's not fair.

This is all my fault,

I should be in there, not you.

- No one has the right to keep two people apart.

No one.

- We are apart.

- I know what I feel.

That's the most important part.

I love you.

- Who knows how love works?

Sometimes I wish that we didn't use lemons.

You could be on your way to being a dad,

and I could be on my way to being a mom.

Why did we have to follow the rules?

- We'll get through this.

We will, I mean,

I'm not gonna go anywhere.

You don't have to worry about cheating on you.

What's wrong?

What's wrong?

- They're moving forward with me.

- What do you mean?

- I mean...

The database has matched me up with someone who (sighing),

will complement my personality,

and provide me with long-term stability.

Oh God, I hate that word.

I won't feel a thing for him.

- I'll get out of here.

(sardonic chuckling)

I promise you that.

I'll get out of here.

- [Nora] It's not that cold.

- Slow down!

- Take bigger steps.

- We have a perfectly good dining room at home.

Table, tablecloth, plates, utensils, silverware.

Why do we have to sit on the ground like beggars?

- It's a picnic.

It's not that far.

It'll be fun.

- I'm sweating and I'm cold.

How did mankind ever survive this kind of weather?

- That's people for you.

My grandmother used to bring me up here for picnics.

She'd tell me stories about some of the dates,

she had up here. (chuckling)

It was pretty romantic.

- Your grandfather didn't seem like the type.

- No, it was before him.

- Your grandmother told you stories about--

- Then there was this one boyfriend,

who had a really, black hairy chest.

- (chuckling) I don't want to hear

about your grandmother's boyfriends.

- He chiseled her name somewhere on this rock.

- Who brings a chisel on a date?

Did your grandfather ever chisel her name into a rock?

- No, that's probably why they stayed married

as long as they did.

(Nora whimpering) - Are you okay?

- She lost her virginity on this rock.

- I don't want to hear about your grandmother's virginity.

- I wanna make love to you here.

- Wasn't the stairs weird enough?

- Damn you!

Damn you!

(sobbing)

Nothing!

Nothing changes!

Nothing! (sobbing)

(Evan shushing)

- It's okay.

It's alright.

(Nora breathing heavily)

Listen, I saw a really great place for a picnic,

back there we passed.

Let's go have our picnic.

- I'm okay, I'm okay.

- I remember diapers.

- I remember slippers.

- I remember stale milk.

(Joel chuckling)

- I remember bathrobes.

- I remember plastic toys.

- I remember carpeting.

- I remember swimming pools.

I remember bicycles.

I remember slingshots.

I remember tree houses.

I remember snowball fights.

- I remember holding hands.

I remember sitting in the sun.

I remember talking until dawn.

I remember, I remember laundry.

- I remember Cal.

I remember him throwing a ball around.

I remember cutting his hair.

I remember doing his homework.

I remember reading to him.

I remember Cal.

- You haven't seen your son since he was two years old.

- But I remember.

Like the time we all had dinner together,

me and Cal, and you and Amber.

What a time that was.

- It never happened, man.

- I remember.

You should remember too.

- [Joel] It starts slow with Charlie.

He'd tell me his stories and, after a while,

he'd tell them to me again.

I'd tell him my stories and soon,

I found myself telling him the same stories again.

The scary part was that Charlie,

didn't mind hearing my stories over and over again.

And after a while, I didn't mind either.

We just ran out of memories.

What happens to a man when he runs out of memories?

(slow bittersweet piano music)

- I never took small steps.

I always took big steps.

And every time, it just terrified the hell out of me.

You don't think it was a big step when,

when we got together?

That was a huge step for me.

- You wouldn't stop talking, and I had no idea

what you were talking about. - Well, I figured

if I didn't stop talking, you wouldn't leave.

And,

and then you decided to stay,

and that night that I wished would never end.

- And that night still hasn't ended.

- But--

- And that night still hasn't ended.

- Don't you see, I thought I had a second chance.

- What do you mean?

- I was a teenager, you know.

She was the girl all the teenage boys wanted to know.

She came down with a bad case of nodules on her throat,

and she couldn't speak.

So she'd be sitting there,

she'd be sitting there, writing notes as fast as she could,

everyone just talking, and I came up with my pad,

and I,

I wrote her a note.

And she looked at me,

and she was my girlfriend for like two weeks.

I wrote things that I could never say out loud.

After a couple of weeks, the nodules went away,

and I wrote her a long letter.

Told her I loved her.

She never wrote back.

- Is that where you go when you're inside your head?

- Every time I tell you I love you,

I feel like such a hypocrite because I,

said the same words to her.

- Well, say something else.

Something you'd only say to me.

What did you say,

after I read your poem?

- That I never thought of you as a roommate?

- That's good.

No, I like that.

No one else would ever say those words to me.

I'd know what you mean when you say them to me.

- That I never thought of you as a roommate?

- I mean that...

that you mean what you feel now,

and not what you felt when you said I love you

to throat nodule girl.

Why did you think of her?

- Oh, I don't know.

I saw her, I think I saw her,

a couple of weeks ago, just out and about,

and there I was,

you know, a little schoolboy again,

looking in an empty mailbox.

- Are you gonna see her after?

- Oh, how sad would that be?

- Well, are you gonna see her after?

- No, that would be wrong.

- Are you gonna see her after?

- (nervous chuckling) She won't remember me.

- Are you going to see her after?

- No.

20 years, you never hinted that you wanted to go picnicking.

- Well, you never told me about throat nodule girl, either.

- I never wanted you to think

that you were my second choice.

I'm gonna make a fire.

(people murmuring) (cell doors clanging)

(frightening electronic music)

- [Charlie] Cal.

Cal. (rhythmic scraping)

Cal.

Cal.

- Calm down, man.

Calm down.

- [Charlie] Cal.

- Calm down, man.

- [Charlie] Cal?

Cal? - Calm down.

- Cal! (chilling orchestral music)

Cal, don't let them, don't let them, don't let them!

- Help, help!

(Charlie screaming) (alarm blaring)

(violent electronic buzzing)

(Joel grunting and screaming)

There is so little in here to hold onto.

Lock us up.

Throw away the key.

We're not worth a thought anymore.

It's hard for me to believe

that the world is a better place with me in here.

Does he love you?

- Yes, on paper.

I only let him touch me when I have to.

Birthdays, holidays, anniversaries.

- You know Amber, you have to tell me something.

I don't care how much you think it'll hurt me but,

you haven't told me anything.

Looking at you through this glass,

and I can't tell if you're real or not.

I love you so much, baby.

I love you so much.

I need that.

I need that.

Give me something to dream of you.

If we were smart, you know,

we could have a fourth grader now.

He could be studying long division,

no, no, it's the only thing I have, Amber.

It's the only thing I have.

You know?

Unless you give me something.

Give me something.

You have to live for both of us.

- But I don't wanna live.

Not without you.

- Maybe Fran was right about romantic love.

It's all about the hormones, right?

How can you know?

I could be a terrible husband.

A terrible husband.

- No, you wouldn't have been.

- Then give me something.

Give me something, please.

- I hate the way my name sounds when he calls it.

It reminds me too much of you.

So...

I make him call me by my middle name.

- Thank you.

Thank you.

(fire crackling)

- Life was far less regimented back then.

You didn't always who was coming in

and who was going out of your life.

Didn't know what was gonna happen next.

- I prefer the security of not knowing.

- No you don't.

You try very hard to not know what will happen next.

My grandmother told me,

that when two people joined,

it was a celebration.

A giant party,

people traveling from miles around,

just to be with you.

And wear their fanciest clothes,

and everyone would cry.

Can you imagine traveling so far,

just to come cry?

And she told me about the food,

how much and the different kinds she would eat.

A large cake, so large two people can stand on it.

And afterwards, after everyone,

has traveled so far to be with you and to cry with you,

you leave them to go somewhere else,

far, far away.

So what did you wish for?

- The database tells us whether or not we should marry,

whether or not we should have kids.

I did everything I was supposed to do.

How come I don't feel like a grown up?

- You know what I thought?

I always thought you were scheming

for us to have a baby on our own, in secret,

and raise it ourselves,

educate it ourselves,

raise it into a person,

outside and unknown to the system.

- I wish we could do that.

- Is that what you wished for?

- I wished that you'd gotten sick sooner,

so the insurance company

would consider saving your life more cost effective.

You need your medicine?

- No, I stopped taking the pain killers.

- You need to go to the hospital?

- I don't wanna die alone.

- Who am I gonna tell my stories to?

(ominous electronic tones)

- I wasn't trying to escape.

No.

I've got this stupid tag around my ankle and,

a chip embedded in my shoulder blade.

I haven't had much of a life here.

But you?

You have a chance for more.

You have a chance for a great life.

Take it, take it.

I promise you I'll be,

I'll be happy for you.

I'll be happy for you.

What we have is a promise that we shouldn't have made

in the first place.

We shouldn't!

I've been selfish, been selfish, yeah.

I'm sorry.

I deserve...

(ominous tinkling electronic music)

(dramatic somber music) (birds chirping)

- [Fran] My name is Fran Lynde.

I'm here to do the paperwork on your wife's death.

- Oh, yes, I've been expecting you.

Please.

- My sincerest condolences.

My husband passed on a few years ago.

He was a punctual man.

- Please, sit down.

- Moving?

- Yes, it doesn't make much sense

for one person to live here.

- You could always take on a boarder,

or a roommate.

- I never thought of you as a roommate.

- You don't have to walk around

as if you were the very first people--

I'm sorry, what did you say?

- You wanted me to sign something?

- Form GF-976, Revision 7.

That's very important.

If that was Revision 6, I'd have to come back.

- Well, we wouldn't want that, would we?

Oh, I wonder, could you do me a favor?

I was going through my wife's things,

and, um, I found this,

and I'm not...

quite sure what agency

it should go to.

(illuminating orchestral music)

- I think I read this before.

- You alright?

- The whole purpose for this instructional,

is to dissipate,

dissipate...

I forgot what I was trying to say.

- I'm sure it'll come back to you.

- This book saved my marriage.

My sincerest condolences.

It was nice to meet you.

Have you thought about what you'll do now?

- Um...

travel?

I don't know, is it hard to get a travel permit?

- Hm?

Hm.

Yes?

Yes.

- [Joel] I won't be here if you try to visit.

By the time you read this,

I'll have moved on.

My prison shouldn't be your prison.

I'll be in a better place.

Love him while you can.

And live for the two of us.

(contemplative instrumental music)