Original subtitles

Energy tastes on many forms.

Example, what do we know of acoustical energy?

It was discovered by a famous scientist, right?

Wrong. We must give full credit to an Italian tenor who one night was singing

aria in a Milano pizza parlor.

You all know the story, how he hit a high note and the sound waves shattered

wine glass on the other side of the room.

Well, watch me and I will show you acoustical energy at work.

Proud are we of mighty Redfield, Alma Mater dear.

All your sons and daughters hail to thee.

Redfield College of Technology.

And while we hold your banner high, we shout your praises to the crown.

For proud are we of mighty Redfield, loyally we cheer.

Redfield, Redfield, da -da -da.

Next assignment will be... Oh, I forgot.

There'll be no assignment.

See you next week.

Point of no return.

The last mile.

Now, Shelby.

All right.

Of all sad words of tongue and pen, the saddest are these.

It might have been.

Shelby, you promised.

Now, stop.

Did I promise to stop loving you? Just open the door and let me out.

Suppose he doesn't show up this time. He will.

Oh. Oh, Reverend, how nice to see you. You must be getting awfully tired of my

wedding. Third time's the charm, they say.

But I am glad that this time you brought the bridegroom with you.

At last we meet, Professor Brainerd. No, this is Professor Ashton. He's Romance

Languages. Professor Brainerd is Physical Chemistry.

Oh, dear me, I seem to have made a mistake.

Not you, sir.

It's Miss Carlisle's mistake.

In fact, I've just been trying to talk her out of this hideous blunder.

Shelby, you are speaking of the man I love.

Love, darling, is a bouquet of fragrant hyacinths, not a beaker of heavy

hydrogen. Am I right, sir? I merely perform a service. I don't take sides.

Let's see. Well, well, here comes the bride.

Reverend. And Professor Ashton, all the way from Rutledge University. Aren't you

on the wrong campus, Professor?

Miss Carlisle was kind enough to invite me.

Yes, I remember.

Seems it was talk that you, too, were a contender for Betsy's hand. Well,

Rutland can't win them all, eh, Professor?

Oh, it was so sweet of you to go to all this trouble. And for the third time,

too. You know the old saying, third time's the charm. That's exactly what I

said. Well, I'm sick and tired of having a spinster for a secretary, that's all.

I'd better go upstairs and change. The guests will be coming soon.

The bridegroom, too, I hope.

Don't worry. I've alerted his housekeeper. She'll see that he gets

The ring is in your right side pocket.

Time for you to get dressed. Just five more minutes, Mrs. Chatsworth. Just five

more minutes. Mr. Little Heavens, what are you doing?

I'm trying to solve the secrets of the universe, Mrs. Chatsworth. And failing.

Failing miserably.

Yeah, well, you're stopping right now. Do you know what time it is? You've been

working all afternoon.

Mrs. Chatsworth, I've been working for three long months.

Pardon me.

I've been working on something important. Very important.

More important, I suppose, than getting married?

Oh. Mrs. Chatsworth, I don't know what I'd ever do without you. Oh, go on.

You're getting a wonderful girl. If you ask me, she's too good for you. Thanks,

Mrs. Chatsworth.

I love you, too.

Now, don't you worry about a thing. I'll be in the first thing in the morning to

feed the dog.

Oh, what's the matter with me?

Is anything wrong?

What a lughead I am. Instead of minus, it should be plus.

So, the molecular configuration of A...

It's almost the same as that of B.

Therefore, if I just don't worry about A throwing off a little free hydrogen, it

could stand a few degrees more centigrade.

Any child knows that.

Yes, but remember, I promised that dear sweet girl I'd have you there on time.

Yes, Mrs. Chatsworth.

Now, Professor, may I say happy honeymoon?

You certainly may, Mrs. Chatsworth.

And the same to you.

This calculation's been staring me in the face for weeks.

Sometimes you can't see the forest for the trees. Right, Charlie?

All right, Charlie.

Cross your fingers.

still show up. You know the old saying, third time's the charm.

I say three strikes and you're out.

Thank you all for coming.

I'll return your presents in the morning. I hope you can get your money

I'm sorry.

After all the trouble you've gone to, I'll be at the office at the usual time

the morning. I want to go on as if nothing has happened.

Shelby, I don't seem to have an escort.

Would you mind waiting?

I'm yours to command.

Oh, Betsy.

Well, hello, Charlie.

Go back to bed now.

Then let's go back to sleep, hmm?

What?

What happened?

Well that's the end of that.

I'm not sure what we've got here, Charlie.

But if we've got what I think we've got, we've got something.

There's one way to find out.

Ready?

Yes.

Yes, Charlie.

We've got it.

You see what's happening?

It's not going lower and lower, it's going higher and higher.

You know what that means, Charlie?

It means just one thing.

It's generating its own energy.

Do you know what that means, Charlie?

It means we've discovered a new kind of energy.

A new kind of energy, Charlie.

It's a breakthrough.

A breakthrough, Charlie.

Look.

Discovered. Substance accident.

subscribe to classical requirements of metastable compound, but whose behavior

is distinctly non -classical.

Hypothesis. The application of an external force triggers a molecular

liberating energy from a life previously unknown.

But Charlie, I suppose you think these are just rubber balls, or maybe a flying

rubber ball, huh? But you know what this really is?

Of course you don't. How could you? We just discovered it.

We've got to give it a name, Charlie.

Let's see.

Flying rubber?

Flying rubber?

Flubber?

All right.

Substance X.

We dub thee Flubber.

Well, if our flubber's going to be of any use to anyone, we've got to control

it, right?

Take an ordinary radioactive isotope.

Now a sliding shutter to let just the right amount of gamma rays through to

bombard the flubber.

Now, we put it under here so that we can bombard the flubber with gamma rays to

trigger the molecular change.

Which is certainly more scientific than kicking it or bouncing it around the

room.

Ease off on the cabarets.

Just as I thought.

Just as I thought, Charlie.

Weight makes absolutely no difference.

Just shoot up a few extra gamma rays.

Isn't that wonderful, Charlie?

Professor. Are you still here, Mrs. Chaswick?

What are you doing? What about the wedding?

Oh, I can still make it, Mrs. Chaswick. It's only five minutes to eight.

Yes, five minutes to eight in the morning.

In the morning?

No.

No, I didn't do it again. I've got to go and see Betsy and tell her what

happened.

I know what you're thinking, Mrs. Chatsworth, but don't you worry.

Everything's going to be all right.

When I tell Betsy what I've done, she's going to be the happiest girl in the

world.

Mrs. Chatsworth, don't you tell a soul, but I've discovered Flubber.

My dear, are you sure it was wise to come in today?

Oh, I'm perfectly all right.

Mr. Alonzo Hawk, president of the, uh, Auld Lang Syne Loan Company, et cetera,

et cetera.

My dear Mr. Hawk, during the past few days, I have been disturbed by rumors

you plan to take possession of our campus and construct a housing tract

Oh, surely he wouldn't. Not even Mr. Hawk.

Let's hope not, my dear.

But the situation requires delicate handling.

But he's an alumnus.

My dear girl, our esteemed alumnus made an extremely large loan to the college.

That loan is overdue, and Mr. Hawk has us, if you'll forgive a pertinent

expression, over a barrel.

my dear Mr. Hawk, I am quite confident that I can demonstrate how an extension

of your loan would be in the best interest to all of us. And I should like

suggest a meeting at the earliest opportunity that would be convenient to

Naturally, I shall make myself available.

However, my dear Mr. Hawk, I am confident that we can demonstrate how an

extension of your loan is in all our best interest.

Actually, we have no wish to impose on your generous spirit, but your green

willpower comes above all else. As one whose dream

is writ large on the scroll of our most illustrious eye, I

know your heart is with us.

May I suggest a meeting at the earliest opportunity that is convenient to you?

Actually, I shall make myself available at any time you should care to name it.

Since I regard this matter of the greatest importance... No, make that of

most supreme importance.

Flapper. Flapper.

Flapper.

Flapper.

Flapper.

Oh, good morning, sir.

I'd like to speak to Miss Carlisle. If I may, it's quite important.

Betsy, I... Oh, sir, I just wanted to tell her that I'm sorry I missed the

wedding.

Betsy, I have the most wonderful thing to tell you. The most wonderful thing

can tell me is goodbye.

In which I heartily concur. This way, please. Just a minute, President. If

just give me a chance to explain to her, I'm sure she'd forgive me for

everything. Anything you would have to say would be entirely superfluous.

take your ball and go.

Why, Mr.

Hawk, what a pleasant surprise.

I want a word with you, Daggett.

Splendid. I, too, have been wanting to have a chat about our little loan.

That'll be all, Professor Brainerd.

Brainerd! Is this the one you call Nettie the Nut? Yeah, that's right, Pop,

I wish you would make a federal case. Do you know that this man flaunt my boy?

No, Mr. Hawk.

Mr. Hawk, I welcome this opportunity.

Sometimes if the teacher and the parent of the backward student can get

together... Backward?

May I remind you, sir, that it was Hawk Brains that founded this town?

Hawk brains that build it?

And you had the gall to say that my boy, who proudly bears the name of Hawk, is

backward? Pop, I just as soon forget the whole thing. Will you shut up when I'm

talking? I wish I could show you his examination paper, Mr. Hawk.

Not only did he miss every answer, he even misspelled the name of the college.

Professor, do you mind?

I'd like to discuss the matter alone with Mr. Hawk.

Well, this means my boy can't play in the big game tonight against Rutland,

doesn't it?

Where's your school spirit?

Flunking your star player.

I don't think this is the kind of a place a man would want to lend a half a

million dollars to.

Mr. Hawk, we happen to have principals here at Medfield.

I offered to help Biff, give him a makeup exam, but he couldn't be

All right, so he's ineligible.

And none of your vague promises about lending the school a lot of money is

to change that.

Mr. Hawk has already loaned the money. The school is very grateful.

Professor, I rejoice in your sense of ethics, but do you mind terribly if I

speak for myself?

Mr. Hawk. Hold it.

I came here to have my say, and I've said it.

But, Mr. Hawk, a moment of your time.

I'd like to discuss our loan.

Oh, you'd like to discuss our loan?

Well, I have an office downtown for that.

And you might bring along some of those high -flown principals of yours and see

how much they're worth in cold cash.

Come on, Bipper.

Get me the file on wealthy alumni, the one marked AA emergency. We have some

letters to write. Yes, sir.

Betsy, you've got to let me explain what happened. Then you'll understand why I

missed the wedding.

Please listen.

Betsy?

All right, go ahead.

I'd like that. For once, I would really like to understand.

Well, darling, like most things that seem complicated, it was actually quite

simple. You see, all along I was thinking in terms of magnetic energy

I was after all the time was repulsive energy.

Silly, but you know how you get carried away with an idea.

Yes, I know. Now, if it hadn't been for this lucky explosion, I might never have

found it. You see, the application of external thermal energy to two

incompatible metastable compounds brought about fusion at high

combustion, the release of explosive gases, and an accompanying residue.

And do you know what that residue was, Betsy? No.

Flubber.

Flubber. Well, it's been thrilling.

Now, if you'll excuse me. You know, Betsy, never in my wildest dreams did I

to find a metastable compound whose molecular configuration is such that the

delivery of minute particles of energy to its surface would trigger a change in

the configuration.

You see, this change in molecular configuration liberates enormous

energy. But they act only in a direction opposite that of the force which

triggered the molecular change.

That's why we call it repulsive energy.

That's just the way I feel about it. Yet, strangely enough, Betsy, the total

effect is tragic. And upon the shutting off of the externally applied energy,

the elemental particles return to a state of pseudo -equilibrium. Isn't that

wonderful? Yes.

And now that I clearly understand what happened to my wedding, will you excuse

me, please?

President Daggett and I have some very important work to do, such as, I hope,

saving the college.

But, Betsy, Betsy, don't you see? This can save the college.

It could be worth millions.

Do me a personal favor.

Go bounce your ball somewhere else.

We'll talk it out tonight, Betsy. I'll pick you up for the game.

We shook them up a little, huh?

Nobody's going to push us around.

You're kidding, aren't you, Pop? I mean, about closing down the college and

turning the grounds into a housing tract?

Son, I'm going to teach you some of the facts of life.

Small college, like the small country store, the little drug store, they're

in the same boat.

Well, they're sinking.

Today is the day of the supermarkets, the super colleges.

The little man is going to get squashed.

But you graduated from Medfield. It's your college.

All right, so what do you want?

Some total stranger to close it down?

Or some loyal, friendly alumnus to take care of things?

But isn't there something you could do? I mean, give him some more time on the

loan or something.

Now, look, son, I'm sentimental about Medfield just like you.

But it's like shooting a horse that has a broken leg.

I want to do it to put it out of its misery.

Now, if I happen to make a few extra bucks on the side, well...

that's just something you're going to have to learn to accept.

Yes, sir.

Oh, about the game tonight. Has the word gotten around that you're not playing?

Not that I know of. Not yet.

Say, Lenny, see what the point spread is on the Medfield -Rutland game tonight,

will you?

How much do you want to go for?

Oh, whatever the traffic will bear.

Eight or ten thousand bucks.

Pop, you're not betting on Medfield.

Without me on the team, we'll get murdered.

Who said I'm betting on Medfield?

You're not betting against us.

Now, son, we have access to some very valuable information about that game

tonight.

There's an old saying.

It's an ill wind that doesn't blow a few extra bucks into the coffers of the old

Lang Zine loan company.

Get the point?

Now, Charlie, when we pull down the spark lever, this shutter under here

and releases the gamma rays.

And up goes the flubber, and up goes the car.

Now, we pull down on the gas lever, and this shutter opens, and the car goes

forward. Now, when we press on the brake pedal... This shutter opens, and the

gamma rays bring the car to a stop. Or, if we open the shutter a little farther,

the car goes in reverse.

Now, Charlie, suppose we get a little tired of just going straight ahead.

So we turn the wheel to the right, and we bank to the right.

Turn the wheel to the left, and we bank to the left.

Well, that's about it, Charlie.

The important thing is that nobody finds out about this.

Except Betsy, of course.

Now, just so people don't ask too many questions, we'll put this under the hood

so it'll sound like a regular old Model T.

That ought to do it, eh, Charlie?

Now all they'll say is, well, Professor, see you finally got that old

collector's item of yours in running order.

All right, Charlie, we're all set.

Lights on.

And gas lever down.

You're out of your hat, Charlie.

We don't need these up here, do we?

There, that's better, huh?

Now, now watch this, Charlie.

Not bad, eh, Charlie?

Let's open her up and see what she'll really do.

Why don't we fly over and drop in on that certain someone, huh?

Do -do -do -do -do -do -do -do -do -do That lovely, adorable Betsy

of mine Oh, won't she be happy, sweet Betsy of mine When we take her

flying, that Betsy of mine She'll hug me and tell me she's not really sore

Can you imagine what she'll say when she sees this, Charlie?

Was there something you wanted? Yes.

I'd like to speak to Miss Carlisle, if you don't mind.

I'm afraid I do, old man.

Miss Carlisle and I are just leaving for the game.

Ready, dear?

Yes, Sheriff.

Excuse us, please.

Betsy, please come over here with me, if you don't mind.

I have the most wonderful thing to show you.

Ned, I am trying not to be angry. Now, please don't make a scene. Yes, old man,

haven't you caused Miss Carlisle enough embarrassment? Now, look, you stay out

of this. Betsy, it's a surprise.

It's a sort of wedding present. Just what every girl dreams about.

It's not the car, Betsy. It's what's inside the car. And I can't show it to

with him around. Now, would you excuse us?

Betsy!

Betsy, wait.

Betsy, you know what I was telling you about this morning in the office? I

about my discovery.

Well, I want to show you what I've done with it. It's terrific.

All I want you to do is take one ride around the block with me.

Just one little ride, Betsy.

Get back on the phone. See if you can find any more of that kind of money.

I'm afraid it isn't Medfield night.

My dear, victory isn't everything.

To love the game beyond the prize. To honor while you strike him down the foe

that comes with fearless eyes.

Excuse me.

Professor. Pardon me, please.

Late as usual, I say.

Come on, Metville!

If Hawk were only playing tonight... Ah, yes, yes. I heard he was ineligible.

Now, I wonder who could have flunked your star player.

We're much more realistic about things like that at Rutland. So I hear.

I understand you pay your basketball players more than you do your English

teachers. That's ridiculous.

I get twice as much as... Really don't care to discuss it.

I'm sorry for people who don't know when they're beaten.

Don't you, Professor?

Now, Shelby, please don't start anything.

Why doesn't he go down and sit in the Rutland section where he belongs?

There's more than one way to skin a cat, Charlie.

She won't ride in my car with me.

Okay.

She won't listen to me.

Okay.

So we're going to surprise her, Charlie.

More than that, we're going to flubbergast her.

Boys,

what can I say?

I'm proud of you.

I feel.

Do you think it's easy sitting on that bench watching you guys out there

your ears pinned back?

Well, let me tell you this.

I've coached a lot of teams in my day, but I've never seen a harder fighting

bunch of boys than you boys right here.

You got hot. I mean real hot.

Coach, do we really have to go back out there?

Look, I know how you feel, son.

But remember this.

A team that won't be beaten

Professor. Oh, hello, Coach.

Something the matter?

Or maybe something on your conscience?

No, no. No, I just dropped by to see if there's anything I can do.

Oh, I am sorry that I had to flunk Biff Hawkins. That's what you mean.

Well, it's a little late for apologies, don't you think?

One minute, Coach. Okay.

All right, boys, get ready.

Starting lineup saves the first half.

Well, fellas, it's too bad Biff didn't keep his grades up, but that's one of

those things.

Just remember, one man doesn't make a team.

And I tell you, you can go out in this second half and beat Rutland.

You can win this game.

Oh, sure we can.

Yes, you can.

Because I know something about you that you don't know.

They're twice as big as we are, but that doesn't make any difference now. No

difference at all. They could be ten feet tall and we could still go out

and beat them.

Yes, we could.

You can beat Rutland if you go out there and give it all the drive and the

bounce you got.

Now, remember that word, bounce.

Bounce. And when you bounce, remember this.

No matter how much you put into it, you're going to get twice as much out of

Now get out there, fellas, and hop to it.

is because you wouldn't listen to me. What do you mean you did it?

Well, you saw the way the boys played tonight. Well, the only reason they

play like that is because of my discovery.

You see, I took their shoes. You're not taking credit for Madfield winning

tonight. Well, in a way, yes. Now I've heard everything.

To watch those boys out there tonight fighting, playing their hearts out to

and now to hear you standing here taking the vows for it. Well, I didn't mean it

that way. Pretty small, Brainerd. That's all I can say. Pretty small.

Come on, let's go.

Now, Betsy.

Betsy, wait a minute. Let me...

Shelby, please give me time to think.

Of course, darling.

You can give me your answer tomorrow night after the dance.

And, uh, I think I know what it'll be.

Good night, my love.

Good night, Shelby.

You probably always thought of me as a kindly, level -headed professor, haven't

you, Charlie?

Well, now you see what a woman can do to you.

I'm a desperate man, Charlie, and desperate men do desperate things.

Lights off, sound off, and up we go.

you describe it? No, I didn't see it. But it flies.

And it made a noise, like a ooga, a ooga. And then it banged down on the top

my car. Vroom, vroom, vroom. And when I looked, there wasn't anything there.

Oh, that kind of a thing.

Well, suppose you blow into this little thing, and we'll see if we can't find

out where it came from, all right? Well, do something.

It's probably lurking up there in the dark right now, ready to spring.

Go on.

Don't worry.

get you. Now, come on, blow, okay?

This is outrageous.

You're behaving like savages. I happen to be Professor Ashton, head of the

English department at Rutland College, and a very important person there.

Well, now, in that case, this ought to be easy for an English teacher.

Can you say, Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers? Have you gone mad?

Or perhaps you'd prefer, round the rugged rock the ragged rascal ran.

I'll say no such idiotic thing.

We are not being very cooperative now, are we? Come on.

Blow into this. We'd appreciate it very much. I'll do no such thing. I'll...

Blow.

Blow.

Have you a little trouble, Officer Hatton?

No, just the usual.

We always have a few 502s after the ruttling game. Uh -huh.

I didn't know there were such bad losers.

Tell them who I am!

Now, you told us who you are. Now, suppose we all go confide in the

Yeah, you boys are a big comfort to me. I take a bath for 15 ,000 bucks and you

two can't find out what happened. Maybe they slipped that Medfield boy some wild

new kind of vitamin pill. If we can only grab off one of the boys, we could give

him a saliva test.

Oh, forget it, will you?

Hi, Pop.

Well, did you find out anything?

I sure did. What? It was Nettie, the nut.

The professor?

Well, what did he do?

He was in the locker room between halves. And then?

Gave the boys a pep talk.

Well, what else?

I saw them. I just talked to them. Talked to them?

Is that the... Will you give me that?

Is that the big news you had for me?

Well, is it?

That's about the size of it, Pop.

Oh, well, three cheers for you, Sonny. That's an earth -shattering bit of

information you got there.

Just Nettie the Nut flying his old Model T.

Say that again.

Nettie the Nut flying his old Model... T.

Yeah.

And that's the genius you were calling the Nut.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, and classily he's been beating our ears about some new kind of energy.

Says he's looking for a breakthrough, some kind of jazz like that.

Breakthrough?

Have you any idea what that kind of jazz is worth?

I can't see anybody now, Mr. Chatsworth. What does he want?

You're kind of dozing, Professor.

Can you fight it in your heart to forgive this hot -blooded businessman?

A hot -blooded businessman who plans to tear down Medfield College?

What do you want, Mr. Hawk?

Wonderful things.

Wonderful things for all of us.

Visualize, if you will, a whole new Medfield College.

Ten new buildings, ten stories high.

One building devoted entirely to science.

Two, if you will.

Three?

How does it sound?

It sounds great.

But, uh, just where is all this money coming from, Mr. Hawk?

From a certain revolutionary discovery.

What's so revolutionary about an old Tin Lizzy?

Nothing.

Unless, of course, it happens to, uh, fly.

Fly? Like I happened to see it due last night?

Oh, you saw it.

Uh -huh.

Prof, I gotta hand it to you. You sure? Hold it, hold it.

Now, why don't we trust each other, Professor? After all, you're a man of

science, head in the clouds.

I'm a down -to -earth, dollar -and -cents man.

That's right. My pop always says he can smell a buck. I'll do the talking, son.

That's a good boy.

Now, there's a million angles to this. The government!

The space age, what they wouldn't give to get their sticky hands on this little

tidbit.

That's where I come in.

When I get through talking with them, they'll come crawling to us on their

with bags of money, barrels of money.

Mr. Hawk, let me get this straight.

You want me to turn my discovery over to you so you can blackmail our

government?

All right, then look at it this way.

Medfield College can grow and... prosper or it can wither and die on the vine.

That's entirely up to you.

I see.

Mr. Hawk, I want to thank you for dropping by.

You've made up my mind for me.

Now you're talking.

I'm going to call the president.

Daggett, he don't cut any ice.

The president of the United States. Is that enough ice for you?

Oh, now see here, professor, let's not go flying off in all directions. Just

direction, Mr. Hawk.

Well,

there goes the ballgame.

He'll telephone Washington, and by tomorrow, this place will be swarming

Sharpies. Supposing you did get the professor's discovery?

Did you mean what you said about not closing down Medfield?

If they get a hold of that flying jalopy before I do, there's millions right

down the drain.

Because if you did, I've got an idea. Quiet, son. I'm trying to think. Switch

cars on him. That idiot Brainerd. If he could have...

What did you say, son? Switch cars on

him. There are other Model Ts around.

Yeah. There are, aren't they, Biffer?

There's a fellow over in Appleton who's got one of the same models as the

professor's. I'm way ahead of you.

Let me take the Appleton turn off.

Hey, you know something?

You're all right, son.

Of course, you got a little of your mother in you, but actually, well, it's

me all over again.

Yes, sir.

You're all right.

I can assure you, sir, the president is keenly interested in any development

which might have to... to do with our national welfare.

But may I inquire as to the nature of your discovery?

Flubber.

Yes, that does sound significant.

Now, if I only knew which branch of the government might best be served by your

discovery. Any branch, you name it. Transportation, industry, agriculture.

Agriculture.

Good.

Oh, don't cut me off.

Agriculture Department, Sam Wheeler speaking.

Friended.

I see.

Just how do you figure this can help the farmer? I don't want to help the

farmer. I mean, I want to help everybody. Don't you understand?

Well, now, what possibilities do you think this might have as a fertilizer?

Fertilizer?

Don't any of you people down there understand how vital this thing is? It's

only agriculture. It's industry.

It's national defense.

No, national defense.

National defense.

Before we go any further, I just want you to know that I am proud of the new

spirit of cooperation between the Army, the Navy, and the Air Force.

Even the newspaper columnists are talking about it. There never was any

difference between us? Of course not. Just a lot of newspaper guff in the

place. Excuse me, sir. There's a Professor Brainerd on the phone from

Brainerd? I don't know any Professor Brainerd.

Tell him to write me a letter. I thought he might have some connection with

Congressman Brainerd on the Appropriations Committee.

Congressman Brainerd swings a lot of lead. He's always been very friendly to

Very well.

Hello.

Well, how are you, Professor?

What can we do for you?

Oh, you have, eh?

Well, it's amazing.

Sort of anti -gravity.

Well, well.

And you... Think it's a breakthrough.

Looks like you fellas don't need all that appropriation money after all. I

fella right here who said he cracked the anti -gravity problem right in his own

garage.

Ridiculous. Another crackpot.

Army's been doing anti -gravity research for years.

Hasn't come up with anything significant yet.

Oh, yes, yes, yes, Professor.

I'm listening.

Yes, Professor. Yes, yes, I realize it's urgent.

So many things are these days.

Oh? You want to come down here to Washington?

Well, now, I don't know about that, Professor. We'd love to see you, of

Alert my pilot to standby.

Yes, but we are all busy as bird dogs around here.

I'll tell you what, Professor.

Why don't you write us a nice short letter?

Tell us all about it.

Right. And keep up the good work, Professor.

Call us any time. Oh, better still, we'll call you.

Goodbye.

They won't listen.

Betsy won't listen.

That crook hawk is the only one that'll believe me.

Come in, Mrs. Chatsworth.

There you are, all sponged and pressed for the dance tonight.

Oh, thank you, but I won't be going to the dance.

Oh, no, you're not letting that dear sweet girl go with someone else.

That dear sweet girl has kicked me out of her life.

What are you going to do about it? Stay home and talk to the dog?

Mrs. Chatsworth, don't you turn against me, too.

Professor... May I say something? I'd rather you wouldn't, Mrs. Chatsworth.

just now.

All right.

Do as you please.

Go on with your head in the clouds and your nose -poked places it doesn't

belong. Go ahead, like I said.

Unlock the secrets of the universe.

But remember this.

The universe is millions and millions and millions of years old.

It can wait a little.

But girls can't wait.

Mrs. Chatsworth, I told you I'm not going to... One day, a girl simply says

herself... That's enough.

I'll just marry the next man that comes along.

And she does.

Mrs. Chatsworth. If I were in your shoes, I'd stop that smashing or mashing

atom or whatever it is you're doing out there, and I'd go to that dance.

Why?

Betsy won't even look at me.

Don't they have those numbers where you walk up to the dancers and tap them on

the shoulders?

Yes, I suppose.

Well, then, you walk up to that Shelby, tap him on the shoulder... Then when he

turns around... I'll punch him in the nose. Good.

No, that wouldn't be civilized.

Well, for goodness sake, grab the girl in your arms, hold her tight, and dance

her off into the night. Show him up.

Show up Shelby Ashton, the ballroom beast?

He's the best dancer around here.

I dance like a sleepwalking chimpanzee. But even a chimpanzee will fight for its

mate.

here tonight.

And sink the army, sink the army, Gray.

Taxi!

You boys get right in. I'm the only taxi. I'm pulling right out.

Where to?

Professor Brainerd's house.

Even a chimpanzee fights for his bait.

Let me go. People are looking.

Good. Let's not disappoint them.

The professor must have given himself a pep talk.

Watch. Maybe you can learn something.

Let's go in and see what's buzzing. Enough fun for one night.

On second thought, maybe the fun is just beginning.

I beg your pardon?

Are you the gentleman from Washington?

We are.

Are you looking for a professor right here? Oh, I'm afraid that's not me.

There's your man.

Get right in, gentlemen.

Get right in the car, please. Now,

of

course, gentlemen, I realize that military technology has progressed far

the Model T, right?

My God. And I want you to understand that I'm only using it as a security

measure. What better place to hide my discovery than in a Model T, huh?

And I want you to keep in mind also, gentlemen, that this is only a primitive

application of my discovery.

Now, we use this spark lever here to levitate, the gas lever to move forward,

and the brake pedal to stop or to go in reverse.

Absolute control at all times, as you will see.

All right, gentlemen.

Get a good tight grip on your emotions and prepare for takeoff.

Cool head.

Steady hand.

And up we go!

Well, if at first you don't succeed... Then what?

Try again.

Well, surely you gentlemen understand this sort of thing.

I imagine the first time you tried to launch a rocket, it didn't...

Probably just a short in the control mechanism.

I'm sorry about this little delay, gentlemen. We'll have the show in the

a minute.

This is some kind of a joke. I'm sorry, gentlemen. I want to see what's in

there. Just a minute.

gentlemen, somebody's just playing a practical joke. I'm not laughing.

Just a minute, gentlemen, please.

Gentlemen, wait, please.

Nice going. That was rich about the squirrel.

A real hawk touch.

Kind of a mean trick to play on the professor.

Well, son, we're doing him a favor. You'll see.

At any rate, I think we've cleared the air on one important point. What's that?

With what's happened, I'm sure there's no longer any doubt about you and Ned

Brainerd. No.

None whatsoever.

As the bard says, that he is mad, tis true. Tis true, tis pity, and pity, tis,

tis true.

Oh, shut up.

Well, if that's what she thinks of Shakespeare.

If you come out here to gloat, Betsy, I can do without that.

I'm not gloating. But I know what you're thinking.

That I'm a fraud, that I'm really losing my marbles.

Are you sure you're all right?

Betsy, I solemnly swear to you I have flown this car. Don't, darling.

I'll take you home.

You get a good night's rest.

Betsy, how can I... Wait a minute.

Why didn't I think to show this to them?

I got so upset when the car wouldn't fly.

Here.

Take this.

Now hold it out.

Now drop it.

Flubber.

That's how I was able to bounce around in there.

That's how we won the basketball game.

This is what makes the car fly.

Are you sure you actually made that car fly? This very car.

No.

No, I take that back.

Well, did you or didn't you? This isn't my car, Bessie. My car had a radio in

it.

Somebody switched cars on me.

Hawk. Hawk?

Alonzo Hawk.

He saw me flying the car last night and he came to me to make a deal and I

turned him down.

He stole my car.

Are you sure?

Will you stop saying that, Betsy? Of course I'm sure.

Please believe me.

Now, we've got to get that car back in the hands of a man like Hawk.

Ned, I believe you. Now, if we can only figure out some way to...

I'm glad to see you came around to my way of thinking, Professor.

I'm with you 100%, Mr. Hawk. Yes, I know, but we were discussing the Model

What's with these shoes?

Flubber, Mr. Hawk.

When you wear these flubberized shoes, you'll have a spring in your step.

You'll walk with your head above the crowd.

You'll live life to the fullest.

And when the time comes, as the poet says, to shuffle off this mortal coil,

won't shuffle, Mr. Hawk. You'll go out with a hop, a skip, a jump, and a song

your heart.

I still don't get it. What about the Model T?

Well, Mr. Hawk, surely you can see the point.

Why, shoes are ten times more valuable than a flying car.

How come?

Well, figure it out.

Only 8 % of the world's population buy cars.

Practically everybody buys shoes.

You know she's right?

Sure she's right.

Well, now, take it easy, Mr. Hawk.

I'll show you how the flubber works.

Now, just tap your heel on the floor.

You see?

Yeah. I don't know if I can hold my balance.

Well, it just takes a little getting used to, Mr. Hawk.

Why, Ned's crazy about his, aren't you, dear? Oh, yes, yes, I certainly am. I

can't tell you the lift I've gotten from him, Mr. Hawk.

Now, just jump up and down, Mr. Hawk.

Up and down? Uh -huh.

There we go.

There we go.

Mr. Hawk, I think that's high enough right now.

Hold him down. Hold him down. Hold him down. There we are.

Now, wasn't that wonderful, Mr. Hawk? Wonderful, but why did you stop me?

we want to talk to you. You see, we know that you're interested in more than

just money.

Surely you are, Mr. Hawk. I am what?

Humanity, Mr. Hawk. You can save lives with these shoes.

Of course you can.

Now, suppose, just suppose, you understand, there's a fire, a raging

The stairs are a blazing inferno. The smoke is billowing under the door. We're

trapped. Help!

Help! Help!

flames are creeping closer and closer.

No, no, no.

I can't stand it any longer.

Geronimo!

My boy.

Nothing to it, Mr. Hawk.

Why, that's amazing.

Okay, your turn, Mr. Hawk. Oh, now, now, just a minute. Oh, it's fun, Mr. Hawk.

Go ahead.

You'll land light as a thistle, Mr. Hawk, I promise you.

I certainly wouldn't want to have a partner who doesn't have faith in his

product. Well, you better do it, Mr. Hawk. He's very fussy about things like

that.

Well, nobody's ever been able to call me a coward. Oh, I should...

That's right, Mr. Hogg.

Now, where is it? Where did you hide it?

in their payments.

Dear, sweet Mr.

Hawk.

Lenny? Yeah, what?

Do you hear noises?

Like what kind of noises?

Sort of like a...

Easy.

goes again.

Remember Feisty McKenna?

Only with him it wasn't heart noises.

He kept hearing bird calls.

Easy, easy, easy.

All the same, Mary Lou, I wish you'd come over. Pop's putting on a great

Oh, hold it. They're bringing in a net.

Make way. Come on.

Come down sitting.

Not feet first.

The net didn't work so well, Mary Lou.

I told you we needed a new one.

You told me?

What do you think I've been telling the town council?

How am I supposed to buy a new net without an appropriation? Well, don't

hard. I only mentioned it.

Well, you just keep the kings out of the fire, Owen. That's all I want from you.

I'm the chief.

Sure, come on over, Millie. You should see it. Everybody's getting into the

Don't worry, Mr. Hawk. We'll take care of you.

No, don't do it. No!

Ow!

Personally, I'm a dry fly man myself.

Royal coachman.

I think...

middle of spring practice, but it's a matter of life and death.

That ain't no bird call.

Well, look who's here. It's the professor.

Wasn't too smart breaking in like that, professor.

Well, I didn't exactly break in. Of course you can...

As you can see, I'm trying to break out.

Careful, boys.

Look!

What happened, boys? You missed me.

Here. Here I am.

Now, take it easy, boys.

Take it easy.

Don't crowd me.

I don't want to have to get tough with you again.

Hot doggies, get your hot doggies right this way.

And

you

were the lady that called the police?

Certainly. I was getting ready to take a bath, and I saw this face flashing past

the window.

Well, how did I know the poor man was in trouble?

18 inches to bounce.

And your opinion is?

About 7 o 'clock tonight, he's going to be in serious trouble.

Gosh, my father never does anything like that.

For a parent, he's way out.

with a little bump on the head.

Here. That's it. Stop. Come on.

What would Mr. Hawk say?

Come on. Let's get on our feet. On with the fight. Come on.

Oh. Here.

Try this. Oh, thank you, dear.

That did it.

Better get back in the car, Betsy.

All right. Come on, you cut and read gorillas.

Damn high this time.

Gotcha.

Okay, Mr.

Jumping Jack.

This is hardly the time or the place to say what I was going to say.

been asking for it. Asking for what?

The Shelby stuff.

of the Auld Lang Syne Finance Company.

Isn't it a small world?

Of course I remember you.

Well, now that's better.

Sure. You're the outfit that repossessed my electric icebox last year.

Well, Officer Hanson, sorry to interrupt, but can you tell me the

to Washington, D .C.? Sure, Professor.

Down the block at the intersection.

Left, Highway 9.

No, no, I mean it's the Crow Flies. Oh.

That way, due east.

Thanks.

Officer, stop that man!

He's flying off with millions of dollars that rightfully belong to me.

Mr. Hawk, surely you're not accusing dear old Professor...

Sir, I...

I have an unknown approaching Washington prohibited zone.

Heading 068, angels 1 .5. Speed 45 knots.

45 knots, are you sure?

Yes, sir.

Hello, bird farm? This is flag down.

Scramble the five -minute birds.

Attention, attention.

Scramble bird dog flight.

Scramble bird dog flight.

Vector 270.

Vector 270.

Go gate to angels 1 .5. Angels 1 .5.

Lovely and peaceful up here.

As though we were the only two people in the world.

Well, aren't we?

Ned!

Ned!

Did you see what I saw?

I hope not. Let's run that again.

Roger.

Flag down. This is Bird Dog Leader.

I have a visual on that bogey. Well, speak up, man.

What is it? I don't think you're going to like this, sir.

What's the matter with you? Give me that bogey report.

It's a Model T, sir.

A what?

A Model T touring car.

Only it's flying.

Bird Dog Leader, I suggest for your own sake that you take another look.

I can't, sir. It's gone into a cloud.

And it won't come out.

What's the procedure, sir?

I think I'll let the colonel handle this one.

Yes, flag down.

Well, go on, Captain, go on.

A flying what?

Cut the clowning flag down. The CO's here.

What's going on, Colonel? Nothing, sir. What do you mean, nothing?

It's flagged down, sir. Just a little question of procedure.

Give me that.

What's all this about procedure? Don't you know your job, man? Don't interrupt

me.

It might interest you to know the general staff has worked out exact

for every possible situation. There's nothing could happen that... A flying

Looks like they're gone. Good.

Can we get out of here now? This is ruining my hair set.

Darling, you never look more beautiful.

Gentlemen, it's quite simple, really.

Obviously, a Model T cannot fly.

Therefore, it must be something disguised as a Model T. I am declaring a

condition yellow.

Let's move, Colonel.

Makes you feel proud, doesn't it?

Washington's a great city.

There's something there for everyone.

Look at all those people down there.

I think they're staring at us. I wouldn't be a bit surprised.

You can't hear what they're yelling, though, can you?

Right on there.

Hits you between the eyes, doesn't it?

Look! There's Grant's tomb.

I think Grant's tomb is in New York, dear. I believe that's the Jefferson

Memorial. Oh, you mean Monticello.

Betsy, I think there's a touring map in the side pocket. Will you see if you can

find the Pentagon building?

There's five sides and a big parking lot.

I doubt if it's on here, dear.

This map is from the year 1917.

Oh.

Oh,

there's the Capitol.

Won't that do?

The Capitol.

Gosh, Betsy, when you think of all the history that was made there.

Now, don't forget, you're making history right now.

Oh, you think so?

I hope they don't make a fuss over me. We interrupt this program to bring you

emergency bulletin. This is the commanding officer, Sector Air Defense,

on all commercial and military wavelengths.

Attention.

An unidentified flying object is over the city.

Am I sending you?

No. Nothing up here but us.

Every defensive missile in the area is trained on the flying object.

If it does not...

Identify itself. It will be shut down immediately.

They wouldn't dare.

Yes, they dare.

This is your last warning.

Identify yourself or we will open fire.

Ready at Fort Meade. So battery's locked in target, sir.

Repeat. Are you listening, unidentified flying object?

We are waiting for your response.

I am responding.

I'm Professor Frater.

At the count of ten, we open fire.

Don't bother to count, General. I'm an American.

Two. See it?

My credit cards.

Three.

Four.

Wait, General. You're not going to stand for that, are you?

Five. Yes.

Six.

Seven.

Sir, Fort Meade reports he's gone behind the Capitol Dome.

Sir, Congress is in session. If you fire, we might lose every senator and

congressman.

Nine.

And they've just put a new front on the building.

Hold your fire.

Well, why try to pass the buck to me?

Just because it looks like a... What?

Well, I don't care if it is a Model T.

Shoot it down.

Right, right. And if you happen to see a Stutz Bearcat or a Pope Toledo flying

over the Capitol, shoot them down, too.

As a personal favor, won't you please identify yourself?

Professor. This is the Admiral speaking.

Proceed directly to Anacostia Naval Air Station. This is your old friend General

Singer. Now you fly right over to Bowling Air Force Base. This is the

Report at once to Fort Myer.

Anacostia Naval Air Station. Bowling Air Force Base. Fort Myer.

Bowling Air Force Base. Fort Myer. Now hear this!

Anacostia.

Well, they had their chance. I'm not going to fool around any longer.

Ned, what are you doing? We're going to land.

Right on that big patch of green lawn down there.

Oh, Ned, not there, please. Why not?

My hair, it's a mess, and I have a thing to wear.

The president, devoted as always to the advance of science, has embraced the

discovery of Flubber with tremendous enthusiasm.

Professor, what branch of the armed services will be given control of your

discovery?

Well, all will share alike. In our opinion, Flubber will only cement the

traditional ties of inter -service cooperation.

Professor, with this great breakthrough in science, do you feel you still have

other worlds to conquer?

I do.

Just so there's no doubt about it.

Would you mind repeating that?

I do.

With pleasure and a deep sense of accomplishment, I now pronounce you man

and wife.