Original subtitles

Hi.

What chicken we ever had?

That's a rooster. It's a rooster.

Oh, forget it.

Hey, Miss Banfield. Sorry I'm late. I've been looking for Cammie Poole. Have you

seen her go inside?

I'm sorry. Are you a new student here at Brewster High?

You're kidding, right?

I'm in your biology class.

I'm Pete. I'm... I'm Pete Ivey.

What's up, Pete?

Hi, Miss Banfield.

Oh, so you know this young man, Cleveland?

He was just inquiring into the whereabouts of your sister.

He was?

He's trying to find Cammy so he can ask her out. Finally. How did you know that?

I'm your best friend.

Pay attention to your neurotic ramblings.

Oh, here we are.

Pete, I need a check.

Thank you. Okay.

Oh.

Is that brain?

Dale Feathers.

That's a funny one, Skyler.

Oh, me? Oh, I'm... Well, I'm here because, um... Well, I had something

wanted to tell you.

Well, I... Kind of a morbid question.

Okay, shoot. I'm just... I'm kind of in a hurry. Yeah.

Yeah, um... Well, I was... I was wondering if... If you would... If

you'd go... You would... Who is this guy? Does he even go to this school? Oh,

that's just Pete. He's my brother's best friend.

Don't care.

You scored 20 points today for you, sweet thing.

Bye -bye, Pete.

See ya.

Isn't Dill awesome?

Yeah.

Yeah, Dill is the awesomest.

All right, well, I'll see you at the game.

See you at the game.

Get out of here.

What

up,

Cole? Jam, take the gum out. Let's go. Get in here.

Jam, tie your shoes. Let's get it in here. Come on.

So, Pete, how'd it go with my sister?

I dry heaved.

Simple goal for tonight, okay? We're going to score more than seven points.

Oh. And Cammie seems to really enjoy kissing Bill.

Uh, yeah, Pete, I could have told you that.

The dude's always over at my house. You know, I think he's stealing my mini

cologne sample. Why didn't you tell me your sister was dating the captain of

basketball team?

Pete.

Chill, dude. Listen, I'll level with you.

Okay, I didn't tell you about Bill because... Because I wanted you to grow,

Experience new things. I mean...

Just building the courage to choke out a few words to my sister.

It took guts. Major guts, man.

I'm really proud of you.

Really?

Thanks, Paul.

I really appreciate that.

Dude, I'm just messing with you, dude.

Hey, son.

Dad.

What's wrong, son? You look a little down.

Yeah.

Just got some things going on.

Woman trouble?

Well, yeah.

I kind of missed my chance with a girl I like.

Got beat to the punch, huh?

By the captain of the basketball team.

Thing is, Pete, if you want to get noticed by girls, you got to give them

something to notice.

Like, uh, when you were a kid, you were into gymnastics.

That got you noticed?

Yeah. Everyone thought I was weird.

Okay. Bad example. But, see, my point is, this guy plays basketball. That gets

noticed.

Your mother didn't even know I existed until I did something bold. I got a

motorcycle. And pulling out of the dealership, you rode off the sidewalk

fell over. I have poor balance.

Your father broke nearly every bone in his body.

Shake a tail feather. We got 45 minutes to tip off.

I don't like going to the game. What did your son just say?

Why bother?

Rooster hasn't won a game since, like, early last season.

Pete, if this is some sort of teenage acting out against your parents, we

ask you to leave Rooster Nation out of it.

Hello, Cletus.

Hola, Leon.

Hi, Q!

Sounds like you got a cold. It's allergies, but that's a strong guess.

Doris.

What's up?

Our names haven't changed, Pletus. We're still Mr. and Mrs. Ivy to you. That's

right. Hey, wait a minute. Shouldn't you be heading to the game by now?

Yes.

Yes, I should.

Well, come on, roosters.

Let's cock -a -doodle -doo.

We're going to do that.

That's where we're going.

Oh, what's up? Dude, I need you to do me a solid.

Okay. Yeah, I'm going to need you to go ahead and be the chicken tonight at the

game. And I need to borrow like 500 bucks.

What? No.

I thought you said that you were my best friend.

Okay.

No worries about the money. And no hard feelings about filling in for me today.

Thanks. I'm not going to be the chicken.

What is going on?

This isn't easy for me to admit.

Okay.

Okay.

I'm dying.

I'm serious. Yes, Pete, I'm serious. I'm dying inside of this foam chicken head.

You idiot. It's my allergies, man.

Okay, they've never been this bad.

I mean, Principal Daly got a new chicken head for my costume.

He thought that the bright new colors would boost school spirit. I mean, it's

fine plan, right?

Yeah. I mean, I'm probably going to be the first person in history to sneeze to

death.

No one quit?

I hate being the chicken.

Pete, you know I can't do that.

Okay, it's my family legacy.

Don't go for the wallet. Yes, I'm going for the wallet. Pete, you made me do it.

Me?

My dad?

My uncle?

My other uncle?

Think that's my aunt?

My granddad?

Pete, you're going to have to do this for the grandkids.

Who? I don't even know what makes you think I can be the chicken. I

blacked out saying hi to your sister.

Okay, Pete, you know what? That's a sound argument. I really don't want to

into it. Maybe I came and asked the wrong guy.

Okay, Pete, if you don't want to do it, I guess I'll just go talk to Keith

Burke. You know, he said he would pay me to let him wear the chicken suit. I

mean, the guy knows it's a chick magnet.

Wait, wait a second. No, Pete, that's too bad, you know.

I was even going to offer to put in a good word to Cammy for you. You know,

and Dill are barely hanging on by a thread.

You serious?

Yeah. And I know little sis listens to big bro.

I mean, come on, Pete.

You know, I was going to say a few choice words on your behalf.

Just think about that.

Pete and Cammy?

That's catchy.

Now it's going to be the, uh, Berkmeister and Cammy.

It's tragic.

Well, I mean, I don't even...

I don't know the routine. Pete, here's the routine. You walk around, you flap

your wings, make sure to get in all the school yearbook pictures. Dude, I don't

know. I'm an awful mascot.

Listen,

I heard a mascot camp.

They make a hyperallergenic head for like a thousand bucks.

Dude, I'll look into that.

But for now, can you hook a buddy up?

You know, Poole, it's not exactly my thing to...

I make a clown out of myself in public.

I mean, they usually leave that to you.

I mean, what if somebody finds out it's me?

Pete. Dude, I need this to be a secret more than you do.

Damn.

Come on, man.

Yes, we should fan another big game today. As the Armadillos, 18 wins and 2

losses, take on their own raging boosters.

who are zero for 20.

It's going to be tough for the Roosters to beat a team of this caliber.

And here we go.

I think my boy Cletus has got what it takes to outshine even me.

I am not a loser. I am not a loser. I am not a loser.

We're on air.

Chip, off we go.

He knows it's me. Just walk around, cup your wings, be generally annoying like

pool for a couple hours, and go home.

Oh, that's a big tail.

Oh, oh, what's up?

All right, here we go.

Hey, it's a chicken!

It's over with.

Go, Dale!

This one's for you, baby.

No, it's taken away again.

Smooth, Dale.

Sorry, Pooh, I'm out of here. I still got a little pride left.

I hope

Leland is all

right. Oh, he's fine. He's all right. He's got padding under those feathers,

right? Well, no, no. The school didn't spring for the deluxe model with the

pads.

You're okay, son. Shake it off. Let's go.

Keep watching.

Dry cleaning expenses could be on me.

Okay, thanks, Pete.

And rest assured, Operation Make Cammie Fall in Love with Pete will commence

tonight. All right.

Keep me posted.

Good night.

Good night.

Hey, Pete.

Thanks.

I know you must have hated being the chicken.

So, Pete, the chicken worked good, huh? Not so bad.

Hey, Poole. Hi. Good work, chicken.

Thanks.

Good job, man.

I guess the game went good, huh?

Yeah,

I think it went all right.

I want Poole expelled. He's a menace, hating from the girders, teasing the

officials. It's not funny, and it's not safe.

He made a mockery of the team.

Seems to me the team did a pretty good job of that all by itself.

Oh, that's nice, Fred. That's great. Thank you for that.

You know, I would never say something like that to you.

I'm sorry, Coach.

I'm sorry.

But your team is just not good.

I don't know whether it's because the athletes are all horrible or because you

need more practice being a coach.

But let me put it this way.

Right now, that chicken has greater job security than you do.

What up, fellas?

Good game Friday night.

Wow, Pooh. You got some guts.

Right, boys?

Still?

Guts kind of runs in the family. They actually call my grandpa Grandpa Guts.

Well, you might want to consider a new career path.

Because this one goes straight to the frying pan.

That's a funny deal.

Frying pan. I get it. Do you get it? Yes, Floyd. I get it.

And I'll be going now.

Freeze!

Let him go, let him go, let him go.

Coach, you made people laugh at us. They belittled us.

And you.

That's his job. He's a mascot.

One feather on his scrawny little head gets touched.

You go three rounds with me, comprende?

You know, I feel like they were channeling their anger at me instead of

other. That's just my theory.

I don't like you, Poole. Huh? I don't like the chicken.

Get it?

Okay. I wish I could cut those boys loose.

Play patty cake with your face.

But I'd lose my job. And that is the only reason you are still upright.

What did I do that was so bad?

Oh, don't play dumb with me, mop top.

You know what you did out on that court.

And let's just say some feelings were hurt.

And hurt feelings.

Stink.

You were so funny Friday night. I will never have a wrestler

beat you up again.

It is only fitting that we have our chicken present when we talk about the

Rooster Day celebration.

Now, I need two volunteers from this class to be on the float committee.

Oh, come on, citizens.

Pete Ivey.

Hey, Pete, what about you?

This could be a great way to make a name for yourself, huh?

I'll volunteer, Miss Banfield.

Oh, that would be wonderful, Angela.

So then it is Angela Morrissey and Pete Ivey on the float committee, the two new

kids in school. That is perfect. I didn't realize you were a new kid in

Save it for the float committee.

Thank you.

Okay, all right, guys, one more time.

I gotta run, but there will be another show later.

When later?

Huh? How about later after school?

You and me.

So, what do you say? Yes, please.

Okay,

did everybody see that?

Okay, everyone, let's get started. Sorry I'm late.

I just got lost again.

You know, there's just so much you gotta learn with a new school. Put a dollar

in the light jar.

Good.

Maybe we can build a big rocket ship and paint something on it. Like, I don't

know, go roosters.

Really? A rocket ship?

That's the best you got, rocket ship.

I'm out of here.

Good luck without me.

It was just my first idea.

What else you got?

Uh, space shuttle.

Hey, listen up. Angela's got an idea.

Well, I don't want to be pushy or anything. No, hey, it's wide open.

Help us out. Come on.

Uh, well, um... Okay, well, it seems to me like

everyone likes the chicken.

So, why don't we try to use him somehow?

I like it.

Any specific idea?

Put the chicken on a rocket ship.

Anyone besides Bob got an idea?

Angela! Angela!

Hey! Hey!

Hey, your idea was awesome right there. Oh, thanks.

Yeah. You're, uh, Peter, right?

Yeah, Pete. Pete's the name. Oh, don't worry. I'll definitely give you your

dollar back for that.

Keep it. I got like 20 more where that came from.

Good.

Hey, you want to ride home?

My car's right there. Oh, no, no, thanks. I'm going to walk.

Kind of my exercise for the day.

But thanks.

Really.

I like to walk.

Yeah. Good for the lungs, right?

Yeah. That is it. I'll walk with you.

Don't you have a car?

Well, yeah.

Yeah, but it's...

It's so bad for the environment and stuff.

I was thinking about donating it to like a foundation.

Oh. Oh, yeah? Well, my boyfriend back in Houston, he volunteers for a nursing

home. They're always looking for donations.

Well, I will strongly consider donating my car to your boyfriend.

Cool.

Well, I better go.

Bye,

Pete.

No hunger, Mom.

Yeah.

Listen,

partner, we gotta talk.

I need to know what you did at the game Friday.

I don't know. I just improvised.

Improvised? Like how, Pete? I mean, did you use props, catchphrases? Can you

please just give me some details?

I don't know.

I followed the coach around a little bit.

I made fun of him.

That explains a lot.

I got the other team's huddle that got a big laugh.

Pete, you do realize that you broke all of the mascot rules, right?

I'm sorry.

I just went with it.

I've never acted like that before.

It's cool, man. I really don't care. The important thing is, is that I might be

kissing Jamie Wynn by week's end.

Yeah, well, because of me.

Don't think that this is going unrewarded, okay?

I mean, um, Cammie was just asking about you. Whatever. Cammie's lying to me.

Oh, really?

Why'd she ask if you get sweaty palms when you hold hands with a girl? Eh?

Why'd she ask that, Pete?

Really?

Mm -hmm.

What did you say?

I mean, I do sometimes, but it depends.

No, man, I'm just kidding.

She actually hasn't asked that yet.

But, Pete, I'm prepared to defend all of your flaws.

Okay, here's the deal.

I need you to teach me the routine.

All I remember is everybody was staring at me and then, I don't know, something

clicked. Clicked?

Beat. I need specifics.

You realize that I will probably never be this popular again in my life?

I know. Even Angela Morrissey's a fan.

Morrissey's a fan?

Yeah.

Sweet.

Okay, Pete.

What is it?

I mean, you want to be a friend? A best friend? Because that's what I'm telling

people that we are.

All right, I'll show you some moves.

Perfect.

My goodness, Pete.

I'm a genius.

You're going to be the chicken tomorrow.

And I'll be in the stands watching you do what you do. And you can count it.

That'll work.

People see you in the stands, they know you're not in the suit.

Pete, I'm not stupid, man.

That base will be covered.

Cool.

It's going to be fine, Pete.

Okay.

Okay, chicklets.

It's a whole new ballgame.

Now let's get out there and show those dolphins what roosters are made of.

Feathers and a beak!

Woo!

Okay. Put your hands in here.

And it's the chicken.

rooster basketball 14 and four dolphins coming in to play your very own raging

roosters who are zero okay let's bring it in let's go 21 in the last defense

take care of the ball defense take care of the ball hands in here we go

Come with him.

Where'd he go, boys?

Hi, Cletus.

Hi, Cletus.

Angela,

we're seeing the computer every day.

to be to pick me to run away with.

Mom, I

think your fans are calling.

Well,

I should get back to my chair.

You were amazing.

You know, now I know why everybody loves me.

Anyways, I got to run. I got a date with Jamie.

Isn't this great?

Yeah, for you.

Everyone still thinks you're the chicken. I'm just boring old Pete Ivey.

Monday morning, I'm going to be the kid in the back of the room nobody knows.

Okay, Pete.

I mean, maybe you're right. You should be getting more out of this than all the

groundwork I've been laying down with my sister.

Trust me, Pete.

Dude, she's coming around. I'm sure she is.

Here's what we're going to do.

You're going to be the chicken full time.

All right. What do you mean full time?

Well, what about that allergy -proof chicken head or whatever?

Uh, the financing dried up. You know, the PTA shot down Principal Daly's

for the thousand bucks. Something about fire extinguishers being a better

resource of... I don't know. It's politics, man.

Say, Poole, does this custom -built hypoallergenic head really even exist?

No.

Now, Pete, no, it doesn't.

Why don't I ever believe anything you say anymore? Because we're best friends.

Now, Pete, are you in or are you out?

Well, I don't know. I'm just not sure about being the chicken full time.

I mean, well, if you were to find out that it was just boring old Pete Ivey in

the suit, they'd expect me to be this, hey, check me out, I'm crazy kind of guy

all the time. And it's not me.

That's you.

Okay, Pete.

I don't ever recall saying that we could let people in on our little secret

here. Oh.

Oh, so I keep being the chicken, you keep getting the credit?

Yeah. Pete, it's a win -win, dude.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

How is it a win -win? Uh, simple. I get the benefit of fame. The pool family

tradition lives on. Oh, let's not forget about Jamie.

And you.

You get to have fun in a chicken suit. Pete, it doesn't get better than that.

It's kind of fun. Yeah, it is.

I mean, I'm kind of good at it. Good?

Pete, dude, you're amazing.

I mean, no pool has ever been this good.

You're a natural, baby. You know, you got all the moves and stuff.

All right.

Yeah, I'll do it.

Why not?

Do you want to do it? Yeah. Perfect. I'll do it. I'll call you. Cool. All

You do it.

You're my big chicken. Why not?

Okay.

I want him gone, Fred. I can't keep my mind in the game. The crowd isn't even

looking at the court anymore.

Excuse me, Coach.

There's something I remembered I had to do.

Let's see here.

The Roosters have scored 24 points all season.

Their opponents...

After this, we need 14 feet of chicken wire.

Ah, chicken wire.

That would be in the wire department under chicken.

Or would it be in the chicken department under wire?

So, what did you hear from Houston?

You mean my boyfriend?

Well,

he made captain of the debate team.

Oh, sounds like a fun guy.

Yeah. Yeah, he, uh, sure likes to argue.

So, Pete, um, look at this pool. He, uh, he's a friend of yours, isn't he?

I mean, only since kindergarten.

Why? Oh, no reason. Just, he, uh, seems like an interesting person.

He's complex, isn't he?

Pool? Yeah.

I just, I don't want to really consider the concept.

Well, I mean, it's like, by day, he's just kind of this ordinary. Really,

ordinary. Yeah, yeah, ordinary. Guy. But, you know, when he's the chicken,

just so different.

Well, how different? What do you mean?

I don't know. He's, um, fresh and bold and daring, and he's so funny.

That's a lot.

Are you saying you're, like, interested in pool because he's the chicken?

Oh. I found the putty.

It's a little pricey, but good putty is worth every cent.

You getting twine?

Where's the twine?

I didn't see twine on the list.

Come on. Twine's the main thing. You don't build a float without a big old

of twine. Come on. It's back in the twine aisle. You can't miss it.

Thank you.

Anyways, um... Oh, fool.

Oh, it's nothing, really.

I mean, you've got a girlfriend anyways, right?

Right. And you have a boyfriend.

Don't forget that. Oh, yeah, yeah, of course.

All right, where's that stupid chicken layer?

Does anybody remember pool being this funny? No.

It's only the last couple of games he's come alive, and you don't just wake up

one day and be funny.

Whatever. Of course it's pool.

Well, then there shouldn't be a problem to check and make sure.

Watch us play, we stink!

Leave this out.

You hear about this?

I'm gonna hear about this.

Ow!

Gosh, Pete, watch it.

You made me poke my eye out. You watch it, man. It's not easy getting out of

this thing.

Hey, man.

What's with you saving Angela out there?

You should have saved Jamie.

What were you thinking? You know what, Pete? You weren't thinking it's what you

were doing.

You need to get your head in the game. It's hard up there, fool.

You're out. You're reaping all the benefits. I'm not out there in the

man. Pete, I'm in the trenches, too. Do not underestimate the job of promoting

you to my sister, okay? It's subtle, yet consistent.

Seriously? She'll probably get into marketing when I get out there. You want

offense to your sister, but I'm over her now.

Okay, good, because she wasn't taking the bait.

You're kind of like Angela.

I think Angela likes his chicken.

Man, if she only knows.

Okay, Pete, stop talking right now.

We obviously both know you can't tell her.

I understand this whole dual identity thing can be really difficult on you.

Yeah. But guess who else has to deal with it, Pete?

Superman. Yeah, well, it's me being Clark Kent when Superman's the only one

gets noticed. But Clark never complains, Pete! Oh, my God. Cletus?

Cletus, is that you? We had a deal.

There's no backing out.

Yeah, the closet.

Right. I change in there sometimes.

I know it's weird. I'm kind of a shy guy.

Oh, that's okay.

I like shy guys.

Really?

Good, because I'm shy.

You just mentioned that.

I did. Yeah.

Look, I just wanted to thank you for, you know, out there.

You saved me from getting trampled. I saved you from... That's right, I saved

you. Yeah.

That's pretty sweet of me.

You know, this may sound kind of funny, but, um... You're sort of a...

Superhero.

Yeah, I know.

Sensitive guy, I was gonna say. Yeah. Actually.

Well, Superman's a sensitive guy, too.

Right. Of course. Want to know something else about Superman?

Sure.

When he makes a deal with his best friend, he doesn't back out.

Oh, yeah, Superman's best friend?

Wait, you mean Jimmy Olsen, the photographer guy? Yeah.

See, Superman kept promises with Jimmy.

Mm -hmm.

Super promises.

Right.

Well, you know what else Superman does.

He saves people in distress, like you did for me.

So, anyways, thank you. Okay.

I, um, I guess you're kind of my superhero today.

Hey, sorry.

That, uh, once or twice a week it happens.

I'll see you later. I'll see you later.

See you when later is.

Pete? Paul?

I just remembered. In fourth grade, I lent you a quarter for a taco boat, and

you never paid me back.

Oh, okay. You want the quarter now?

Well, I wanted it in fourth grade, but now I'll be fine.

Here's your quarter.

Thank you.

Oh, you see that? I missed a call.

Yeah, I've been getting a lot of those calls lately.

Oh, it must be nice.

It's the old man.

He once spent some more face time with his favorite kid. You know, I can't

him. My stock is pretty high these days. It makes him feel good being seen with

me in public.

What did he say?

Yeah. We've been hanging out a lot lately.

He's really proud of the chicken.

Er, I mean, me.

You know, he's carrying a picture of us in his wallet right now.

I mean, obviously, he thinks it's me, but it's really you. Pete, I cannot take

it anymore.

What's wrong? What's the matter? Dude, I'm a fraud.

Okay, my dad's walking around talking about how proud he is of the chicken,

it's really you, Pete.

You know, he's proud of you because you're the chicken. You know, if he knew

bad of a chicken I really was, he would never talk to me again.

Well, your dad doesn't care if you're a good chicken or even if you are the

chicken.

Your family loves you no matter what.

You see, Pete, I understand that in theory.

Trust me, it's true.

You're a really good friend, Pete.

I'm really sorry that this whole thing has been really hard on you.

You were right, though, you know?

We should just... We should call it quits.

Let the cat out of the bag.

Whoa, whoa.

What if I'm not funny without the suit? Come on, Pete.

You're a funny guy.

You should have to let everybody see that.

Without wearing your chicken suit. Come on.

Hey, everybody!

You know what?

Let's just keep the cat in the bag. At least until after the parade.

I mean, what's the rush, really?

Right?

Going anywhere?

Yeah, I guess. Look, I'm sorry, Paul. I can't switch right now.

Look, I did you a favor.

Do me one.

Pete. What?

What do we do with the twine?

Twine? Who needs twine? Um, have you seen Angela? I don't know where she is.

I think she might have gone home or something, but, uh... Well, Angela

this whole thing.

We'll take over.

For real, though.

I have, like, a mile and a half of twine here.

Any idea?

Come on.

You could build something.

Angela!

Hi. Hey.

Why aren't you building the float?

The better question is, how come you're not building the float?

What's wrong?

What happened?

I got a text message today.

From Houston.

I got something to do with the text message. Can you believe it?

Coward.

Did you know that 86 % of all long -distance relationships are doomed to

failure?

That sounds high.

Yeah. Well, he attached a link.

I checked it out.

It's pretty accurate.

Stupid debaters.

That must have been a pretty annoying habit to deal with.

Must be lots of other lame stuff about him.

I don't know.

I don't want to rip on the guy.

He broke up with you with a text.

You're sick for this rabbit.

Weak. And he refused to say anything that's not orange. What a loser.

And he derides you a lot.

Well, that's kind of a clinical condition.

There's really not anything he can do about it.

See? Um, Angela, have I ever dry heaved around you?

No.

And believe me, I would have remembered.

Yeah, cool.

Well, we can talk about dry heaving some more, or we can go a little float.

I think I'll go with building a float.

Yeah, me too.

Car's right up here.

I think I'll take you up on that right now I don't think I can make you walk

Do you believe it, Deputy?

All these people voted for me.

They didn't all vote for you, Uncle Lou.

It wasn't exactly a landslide.

Don't call me Uncle Lou.

We'll be right back.

Chicken. But my son is the chicken. Why isn't he in the chicken suit?

Yeah. Great.

Now I totally made out with Poole for no reason.

So, who's the chicken?

Man.

dropped your hat, Uncle Lou.

That was crazy.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Oh, jeez. Oh, jeez.

Jamie, baby.

This doesn't mean we have to break out.

Oh, we're breaking up. Oh, that's a visit from the wrestling team. Okay, I

do. Let's get him out of here. Oh, really?

Hey, where are we going? Where are we going? A lot of enforcement at work

folks.

Hot paper says, you know, it's a lot more fun when we both play.

Hi, Uncle Lou.

Boys found your car?

That chicken was long gone.

Don't call me Uncle Lou. Why not?

Because people think I hired you because we're related.

Let me get this straight.

You're the chicken?

Officially. Yeah, but somebody else was in the suit, right?

Oh, you're both smart.

So, everyone thought you were in the suit, but you really weren't.

Exactly. So... So who was in the suit?

Come on, guys, I cannot tell you.

We made a promise.

Son, we're talking Grand Theft Automobile here.

That's G -P -A -Mobile. So you better start talking.

Until I get that root beer I asked for about an hour ago.

Well, go get it.

Yeah, a little.

Hey, Jack.

What's up?

Lou, can you give us a minute here?

Sure, Jack.

Thanks.

Well, Cletus, you know, I just, I wish I understood why you did it.

You know what?

I'm allergic to the chicken suit, okay?

I mean, every time I put the thing on, I go into a sneezing fit, and my body

gets all itchy.

I mean, I didn't want to quit.

And I think the main thing is, is that I still want to let you down.

You know, let me tell you something, Cletus.

I was allergic to the chicken suit, too.

Yeah, I know. It was rough.

My sinuses got all stuffed up, my eyes watered, my fingers swelled up like hot

dogs. You know, I felt like I was itching my way through high school.

I didn't want to quit either, for the same reasons.

I'm proud of you, Cletus.

You had the guts to...

Fly the coop.

Like I should have done.

Thanks, Dad.

But I mean, you're really okay with me not being the chicken?

I know it's the family legacy.

I'd rather you be my happy son than a sneezing chicken any day.

Thanks, Dad.

Uh, Dad?

Yeah.

I think I'm allergic to math.

Yeah, I'm not going to be okay with that. Okay, cool. Okay, science. No.

Hey, Pete. Hey, Angela.

Where were you?

Didn't see you at the parade.

Oh, no, I was there.

Oh. Still turned out great, huh?

Yeah. Good work.

I just do a little sawing, some hammering, plucks and twine time.

Hey, how about that whole chicken thing? It's all anybody can talk about.

Who do you think it is?

The chicken?

Yeah.

I don't know.

Do you really want to know?

No, I...

I guess not.

I mean, yes.

Well, I mean... Do you want to know?

Yeah.

But I'm afraid once the mystery is over, so is the magic.

It's sure getting colder.

Am I crazy, Pete?

What? I think I was actually falling for a guy in a chicken suit.

Really? You don't know how relieved I was to find out it wasn't pool.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

Do you think the chicken will come back?

Probably not.

So long as everyone wants to know who's in there.

Magic's in the mystery, right?

You're right.

Wait.

No, I'm right.

Okay, we're both right.

Hey, do you want to ride?

No, I'm just going to walk.

It's kind of my exercise for the day.

Right.

Bye, Pete.

See ya.

See that, Pete?

We made the newspaper. What are you doing here, fool?

Look, man, I'm sorry I got caught.

Dumb? I know.

But, I mean, we gotta talk.

Decide what to do next.

What do you mean, next?

I stole the sheriff's car.

So?

Dude, you had no choice. You were being chased by a mob. You're legally allowed

to do whatever you want when you're being chased by a mob.

It's in the Constitution. Tell it to the sheriff.

I already did.

Oh, great.

Did you tell him who I am? No, Pete.

i was slippery like a like an oiled up watermelon okay here's what we're gonna

do we're gonna let the whole thing die right we're gonna retire the chicken and

let the myth grow and then maybe at our 30th reunion we tell everybody it was

you who turned the chicken into a legend

I think he'll come.

I would have found on this.

Well, aren't you just dying to know who he is?

Um, no.

real chicken. We got a copycat here. Everyone stand down. Repeat, we have a

copycat. Sorry, folks. I couldn't resist. I just wanted some attention and

Janitors.

Let's go.

Huddle up.

Well, there's no chicken. I'm going to get on home and soak my feet.

Off we go.

Come on, let's go.

Friday night's game was the biggest crowd in rooster basketball history for

first ten minutes, anyhow.

Seems to me people only come to see the chicken.

Hmm. You know, I... I'm pretty sure people go to basketball games to watch

basketball, but hey, maybe you're right. Maybe they just want to see a chicken

act like a fool. It's becoming an economic issue, Coach.

There's been a substantial increase in the sale of game tickets.

Most importantly, the town's pride quotient has increased significantly

nights. Now, it's a simple question.

How can we get the chicken to come back?

Well, I suspect one thing on his mind is the little matter of the sheriff's car.

Well, I spoke to Lou, and he's willing to drop all charges. But that's not

He stole the sheriff's car. Come on, Corky. Who here among us has never

the sheriff's car when we were young?

Huh?

Anyhow, the chicken.

Let's not forget the reason he stole the car in the first place was to prevent

himself from being unmasked. We need to convince that chicken that if he shows

up again, he won't be touched.

Well, how are we going to do that?

is to get the chicken back.

We're certain that he is here among you at this very moment. Whoever you are, we

want to assure you that all vehicular theft charges have been dropped and that

no one will expose you.

Whoever even tries will be given double permanent suspension and endure eternal

misfortune, which I will

We need you back, chicken.

Come back, you big chicken.

We love you!

And we need you.

I can't believe I'm actually

doing this. I can't believe you're actually doing this.

It can't be Keith Berg. He's too short to be the chicken.

What about Bobby Nevin? You never see him again.

Hey, Pete.

I know. How's it going?

Good. Good.

What are you guys doing?

Well, you know, just what everyone else in school is doing.

Trying to figure out who the chicken really is.

Hey! Yeah?

Maybe it's this Pete Ivey guy. Whoever he is. No way is Pete Ivey the chicken.

mean, Pete Ivey is not smart enough, and Pete Ivey is not cool enough.

Okay, Ivy is not wild enough.

I'm standing right here.

Yeah.

Angela, who do you think it is?

Uh, I have no idea.

Maybe Keith Burke?

He seems like he can be that kind of guy, I guess.

That's what I thought.

It's totally the Burkesters.

Mm -hmm.

Bye, Pete. Bye.

shows up.

Oh, Lou, you mind leaving the handcuffs in the cruiser? Fred, I will not arrest

the chicken should he choose to return.

We've been stood up again.

I am tired of looking like a fool.

Oh,

that chicken will be here. You just wait.

Yeah, we need the chicken.

Why?

Why?

Why?

Oh, why?

Stupid, stupid chicken.

What is that, Suze?

We're going to use this tonight to signal the chicken.

It's not our best idea, but we're desperate. Suze, how's my rooster

Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy.

Best idea I ever had.

Good luck.

Personally, I think the chicken has a better chance of saying that than this.

What is this?

Didn't you hear?

Tommy's challenging the chicken to come on Rooster Talk today and explain why

he's called it quits.

Hi, I'm Tommy Thompson, and we have a very special guest on Rooster Talk

The pride of Brewster, the chicken.

Hello, Tommy.

Yes, the chicken's voice has been electronically altered to protect his

identity. Chicken, let's get right to it. Why have you decided to hang it up?

Well, Tommy, because under these feathers, I'm not really a mascot

Just an average guy.

I love you, chicken!

I think that proves you're anything but average.

You're the spark plug of our school.

You're the spirit of the whole town.

That's a lot to live up to.

Well, seeing as how the Roosters' last remaining game is against the Mountain

Lions, number one in the league, it's going to be tough to avoid a shutout

season without the chicken.

I think they can do it, right? Let's bring out someone who believes they

win without you. Coach Mackey.

Coach,

you think you can't win without the chicken? I am positive we can't win

the chicken.

I love the show, by the way. I'm a big fan.

I'm going to get a picture with you afterwards. That would be good.

Chicken,

just hear me out, okay?

Look, if you come back, I promise I won't throw my clipboard at you anymore.

And you can break through the big paper sign before the game.

Huh? What do you say? Give me a wing?

Come here, you big lug.

You guess this means the chicken will be at the big game Friday?

I'll be at the game, but I'll be in the stands with all the other students.

Well, if this has gone for good for the chicken, can we at least know who the

man is behind the chicken suit?

Well, let me answer that with another question.

Why doesn't a lone ranger take off his mask?

I give up. Why?

There's magic in the mystery.

Once you know, the mystery's over.

And so is the magic.

Pete! Dude, we're back in business.

And check it out.

Ivan got the suit dry cleaned.

Great. Dude, the chicken's risen from the ashes.

You know, kind of like the phoenix.

They're both birds, right?

Well, I thought we were agreed we were done with that.

But, Pete.

The chicken's off the hook.

You heard what the coach said. He said if you show up at the game, they won't

arrest you.

What a beautiful country we live in. When a chicken can steal a sheriff's car

and run scot -free, I mean, I'm just saying, God bless America.

No, well, you were right before.

You know, we should just let this all die and we can have a good laugh about

in 30 years.

But, uh, Pete, you said that you wanted people to know that you were the

chicken. I mean, you tried to tell everybody at the rally you were ready

Well, I'm not ready now.

Maybe I'm never going to be ready for people to know. It's just... Boring old

Pete Ivey in a suit. What are you talking about?

You're going to be famous, man. People are going to love you. Yeah, but what if

they don't?

Who? What if people stop liking the chicken because they knew it was me?

Pete, if that's seriously what you're worried about, then you need to look at

like this, man.

I mean, you can live your whole life in a shell, or you can hatch.

You know, no guts, no glory.

Glory is overrated, anyhow.

Well, I hope you know what you're doing, man.

Because you're letting a whole lot of people down.

You little chicklets believe you can beat those lions?

Not without the chicken, no.

What? I'm being honest.

Even Coach said it on TV.

Okay, okay, okay.

But now I'm saying we can.

And there are 500 rooster fans out there who believe you can win without the

dang chicken.

They're all just going to leave as soon as the chicken doesn't show up. So what?

Maybe they will. But this is our last game, men.

Do you want to go through life with the honor of being the only winless team in

46 years?

No!

haven't won one single game. It is absolutely true.

Now, do you believe we can beat them Lions?

Maybe.

I'll take it. Now, let's go crashing through that sign like raging roosters

show them who we are.

Actually, you know what? We should probably not go through the sign. In

chicken shows up, I sort of promised to do it.

will try to score the first victory of the season against the undefeated 25 and

0 Mountain Lions.

Can they do it? Can they do it? Our fans think they can do it, so let's do it.

the ball, okay? Please, protect the ball. Say it with me. Protect the ball.

You're killing me.

Okay, here we go. Oh, thank goodness.

This is it. This is it.

Can I pay the electric bill?

This is the best two grand a school ever spent.

We have our super weapon, okay? So keep your heads up, keep your butts down, and

let's win this thing, okay? Yeah! I mean, your hands in. Ready?

Maybe it's time to see what it feels like to stand in center court for a

I mean,

you can live your whole life in a shell, or you can hatch.

Now or never.

Who's that fella?

That's Pete.

It's Pete Ivey.

That's Pete.

You rock, Pete.

That's Pete!

The kid

makes a darn good shit. How did you know?

The magic's in the mystery.

You told Tommy, remember?

Your fans are calling.

Again.

One, two, three.

I told you I was falling for a guy in a chicken suit.

Is it okay if I'm the guy?

Pete, dude, they love you.

Put your head on.

I have a secret.

I've been dying to tell. And I would have told you sooner. But I think it's

the world.

And now we're all together.

And it's time to celebrate.

And call your mom and dad and tell them that the party's never gonna stop.