Original subtitles

Go to hell.

Where are the other guys?

Well, they left already.

Oh, so I guess this is it.

Yeah? Well, it's been great.

If you ever get back to Boston, give me a call.

Yeah, I'll definitely do that. What are you going to do with this place?

Oh, I don't know.

I kind of like it here in Santa Monica.

Guess I'll go call student housing and try to scare up three new roommates.

Well, good luck. Good luck with your new job, Mr. Hollywood.

Mr. Hollywood. Cut it out.

I'm a videotape operator, that's all.

I'm going to be there, kiddo.

Well? Bye -bye.

You take care of yourself. I'll give you a nice ride.

We're not going to be the same without you guys, I tell you.

It's kind of depressing just to be empty.

So long, man.

Johnny Beamer, and I'm a recent graduate.

I have a four -bedroom apartment on 1122 18th Street in Santa Monica.

I would like to take on three new roommates.

Male or female?

Oh, well, female.

Yeah, female.

How much?

Make it very female.

How much rent per month?

Oh,

well, I guess you could charge, um...

Occupy

And I'll fucking...

Not a bad finish, but how was the opening act? Close, but not so good.

Anyway, what are we going to do?

Well, listen, I'm going to call student housing because that's how I got the

place in the first place.

All right, a rolling tape.

Ready to pre -roll.

Hold it, hold it. Let me set it up.

I need it quick.

Hold it.

And you got it.

Thanks, Johnny.

Super credits and go to black.

That's a wrap.

If he touches me, I'll vomit.

Yeah, lose all that precious organic food.

Hello.

Hi. Hi.

So, you must be, uh, you are, uh... We certainly are. We certainly are.

Huh. What?

I don't know. You think that bathroom's big enough for both of us?

I'm just going to have to make it work out. I'll just tell you what.

Yeah, but I'm not crazy about having a wall between my bed and... People will

figure that out.

Well,

we'll take it.

Fine. Very fine.

So, okay, now about the rules.

One thing is you keep your hands off of my food, out of my room, and far away

from my ass.

You understand?

Understood.

Girls, I have a few rules of my own, being as though I have the least.

First off, I work long hours, so I like a little quiet at night.

Secondly, I'd like to know in advance if your girls are going to plan any

parties. Is that agreed?

Sure, no problem. Yeah, that's okay.

That's all right.

Any of your girls play chess?

No.

All right.

I don't care about.

But they want to eat the ice cream.

I'll give you some ice cream.

I'll give you some ice cream.

You can't give this one too much attention. You gotta give that one a

more.

You do look a little peaked.

Fuck off.

They're driving me crazy.

Each one of them is nicking nookie with about half the population of Santa

Monica. And they treat me like a big pile of unadulterated horse manure.

Hey, look at this.

Look what they wrote me.

Dear roommate.

With one M.

It would be appreciated if you would stay out of the living room with one of

that's having company.

Sincerely, the girls.

That was reasonable.

Oh, it does?

They have company about every night.

I feel like I'm trapped in my own house.

Too bad you can't tape it. We could sell it and make a fortune.

always people kind of coming through here so why don't we work in my room

sounds good to me down that way i'm gonna go get some wine okay

so

what's the

headline uh seaside close to the water but far from the fish

Hi. Hi.

At last, a real woman has arrived.

Hiya, baby.

Shut up, you girl.

What's up, boss?

Not much. The boy genius here doesn't seem to be inspired today.

Oh, yeah?

Well,

maybe we could find something to inspire him.

Oh, now you're talking.

He can be more inspiring naked.

I think so. I definitely think so. I'm sure. That's when my mind works its

Oh, you people are crazy.

Oh, that's not advantageous.

Waiting on one now. People like you get the positions you're in. I really do.

By being on top, I'm sure.

I see what you mean. I see what you mean.

Look at her. You take one and I'll take the other.

Oh, yeah.

Well,

I'm going to just lie here and think for a while.

I'll come up with something. I'm sure I'll come up with something.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Should you come along?

Not at all, Lou.

Thanks, Sarah.

Stress relief.

What a job. What a job. I got to thank you so much.

That's too goddamn bad.

Can't you put a little makeup on it?

Look, I'm busy. Get somebody else to take care of it.

What can I do for you, kid?

I got a tape here. It's got some real racy stuff.

You know, nasty and sexual and all.

Tell me if you could use it.

Well, it depends.

Depends on what?

Well, kid, if you don't know...

I probably can't help you, okay?

Thanks for your time.

Let me see that.

There's no storyline.

I thought that whole idea out myself.

She's giving him a blowjob. Yeah, with the talent. Mediocre.

Look, no editing.

No editing whatsoever.

I can't remember when I've seen something so goddamn bad in my life.

Damn.

Thank you very much for your time.

Where are you going, kid?

I thought you didn't like it.

I didn't say that at all.

Pick up your cassettes, huh?

Why are you touching me? I'm nervous.

Give me 12 ,000 boxes. It's going to make us a fortune.

I'll take it. Anything more you can make.

Great. Thanks.

Thank you.

Great.

obvious.

to do my job.

See ya.

Oh, yes. It's the truth. Oh, please, fuck me. Fuck me. Please, come. Come,

me. Please, come.

Oh.

Oh, yes.

Oh, stick it in.

Oh. Never look at your poor...

Dress is on the bill.

Can I have my bed back, ma 'am?

It's all yours. Bye -bye, Mrs. J.

$35?

What?

Here, Helga.

I think it belongs to you.

Listen, little man.

I know what you've been up to.

And if you don't do what I...

Now come here. You belong to me.

Take these clothes off and come eat my pussy.

You saw that stuff?

Yes.

Now get your clothes off.

Oh, boy.

You got it, you got it. You're going to play with Helga.

I'm going to be that bad after all.

Oh, you will enjoy it.

Good job. I will make raisins of that.

Oh, boy.

I mean, a plum is a tough act to follow, you know, Helga.

Hurry.

Hurry, Helga, once more.

Oh, God.

Oh, yeah.

I knew I was asking for trouble when I played with that video machine. I

knew it. Oh, but I enjoyed that.

You must make some tapes for me now also.

Oh, they beat you right over there, huh? Yeah.

Look at my pussy.

Oh, boy.

Oh, yeah.

Oh.

Well, here goes.

Oh, God.

you'll get some rest now you will need it I will be

back tomorrow

Easy to make.

You bought it at the store, didn't you? The oven was a fake. I knew it.

It's so bad.

She doesn't know. Neither person can't make IT.

What do you hear?

Wow, this must be serious.

I didn't even know you owned a complete outfit.

I didn't. I went out and bought it today.

Could it be serious?

I hope so.

You made them.

Left painting number 37.

You look like a nice guy.

Well, we're meeting at RJ, so... Hmm, pretty snazzy.

Good luck, honey. Have fun. All right. Bye -bye. Bye -bye.

Oh, hello.

Johnny, Johnny.

Um, I found these in the bathroom. Do they belong to you?

Oh, uh, I'm currently dating a female patrolman, a patrolwoman.

And she left them here.

Thanks.

positive or strange.

It's still quite up.

Oh, that bastard.

I wanted him so much. God, that bastard.

Shit. What happened, baby?