Original subtitles

Was it this one?

Hey, God.

Sit down. Stop fighting.

God, I didn't do anything.

Really? You didn't do anything? I didn't do anything.

We have multiple people all over the mall.

Like, they all saw you.

What are they saying, I guess?

I can't believe you tried to pull this stunt.

Like, what's wrong with you? You think that's okay?

I didn't do anything.

I have no idea what you're talking about. You're really not going to

You're just going to sit there and lie.

I'm not lying about anything.

What? Like, what do you think I did?

Greened up a bag? Did I ring a bell?

A bunch of merchandise stuffed into it?

No. A weapon?

A weapon? Yeah, a weapon.

Oh, my God.

Yeah, it was a really stupid stunt. You can't bring a gun to a... A plastic gun

pretending like it's a real gun?

What's wrong with you? Nobody even got hurt. It's not a big deal. First off,

you're lucky you didn't get hurt.

Honestly.

Is that a threat?

No, it's not a threat.

Listen, where's the duffel bag?

I have no idea. I don't know. You said you got it on camera, so why don't you

pull up the camera?

You're really not going to cooperate. You want me to get the police down here

right now?

No, no. I don't want the police here.

I do not want that. So where's the stuff bag?

You know what? Never mind. I'm going to go get it.

Okay? I'm going to track it down.

You stay here.

Don't go anywhere.

Don't do anything.

Now. What?

What? No. Looks familiar?

No. No, no, it doesn't look familiar.

All right.

All right, so it is yours.

Yes, but I didn't leave the store, so technically I didn't steal anything.

So it wasn't technically a gun, you didn't technically steal, and it's not

technically a mask? Yeah. What's a mask?

I think that's a mask.

This is ridiculous.

Are you kidding me?

Just a couple things. A couple things? How much is the first reward?

Probably not that much, actually.

Well, at least we got a cold cleanser.

Oh, my God. Please. No. Get the... I'll take this off.

Did you pay for this? Did you steal it? Yeah. Did you steal it from a store? No,

that's mine.

This is yours? That's mine, yeah. So it is you in all the tapes. You're

admitting that.

Oh, my God.

So stupid.

Is it?

Well, now, because obviously you stole all this merchandise, I'm going to have

to do it with your soul.

That's excessive. You're not making the rules here, okay?

I mean, I can, do you want me to call the police and have them do it? No, no,

please. I'll do anything, just do not call the police.

We can do the search.

God,

ow. You have to do them so tiny, too.

Ow.

Put your arms to the side.

All the way up, please.

Thank you.

Translate cable.

Yeah, you love this, don't you?

You're not going to find anything.

Well, a few minutes ago you said there wasn't a Green Devil bag, and there is,

so. Okay, well, I didn't think that you had video of me.

The door, you don't think there's a security camera?

It doesn't matter if we're not talking about it, turn around.

Okay. I need you to remove this.

Take the tie off.

Is this yours? Did you take this? Yes, that's mine.

Can you not tell the whole outfit is like a whole thing?

It's clearly a whole thing. I don't know if it's a whole thing that you stole or

something that you already had.

Just make sure there's no... Where would I even find anything in the... Did you

take the flashlight?

Did you take the flashlight?

Flashlight? Where's the flashlight?

Here.

Where would I even... I can barely fit anything in there.

I'm surprised what thieves do these days.

God, I barely saw anything.

I didn't even.

I need to, uh, remove this.

Thank you.

Good.

Okay. Move up to your side.

Hey! What?

Uh,

take some of these buttons down, please.

Um, what?

Remove some of the buttons.

Make sure you're not hiding anything in the collar.

This is ridiculous.

Eric. Hey.

Hey.

One is enough.

One's never enough.

Are you some kind of pervert?

Hand to the side, please. Thank you.

Yeah, I need you to take the cup off.

My cup?

Yeah, just remove it.

Then I'll be naked.

Again, and I'm sorry, but that's not really my problem.

Oh, my God. This is ridiculous.

You'd better not call the cops after this.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Well, inappropriate for you to be trying to... I'm inappropriate?

Literally trying to come on to me a little bit, trying to get something out

it.

I'm sort of pervert.

Could you please put your arms to the side?

You just told me to cover.

No. I don't know what you're talking about. Please put your arms to the side.

Thank you.

What are you doing?

That's unnecessary.

Making sure you're not hiding anything.

Um, I need you to go ahead and, uh, remove this. No, that's ridiculous.

That's ridiculous.

Do you want me to have the police come down here and do this?

Oh, my God.

Okay, so the police aren't going to come if I do this.

Do you want to move through this box at the size of this box? All right.

A little secret pocket here.

Where are you going?

I'm moving away from you.

Okay, alright.

You're freaking me out.

God.

I'm pretty sure you can get in trouble for this, but... Wait.

Pretending to bring a gun into a store and dealing with thousands of dollars

worth of that kind of trouble? Alright, I get it.

I'm not sure if you do get it. You're in quite a bit of trouble here.

Okay, well that seems like that's okay.

Yeah,

we're going to need to take care of these.

Why don't you put your hands up and spread your legs.

What are you doing back there?

Traders' room.

Hey.

You know what?

I can't really see what you're hiding here, so... There's nothing there.

Please, let me do my job.

What are you... Hey!

I bought those.

Did you?

Yes, I did.

Oh my god.

This is so ridiculous.

Oh my god.

Hey! Excuse me.

I'm making sure you didn't hide anything.

This is too far.

This is crazy.

Thank you.

What are you doing with that?

Just doing a full search here. It's my job.

I thought this was a strip church.

Are you not basically naked?

God, this is invasive.

What are you?

Please just let me do my job.

You're not finding anything down there, are you?

I wouldn't say I'm not finding anything.

But I can only say how I feel today.

Ugh, Zubar, that thing.

Hey!

What?

You're touching me?

Yeah.

You weren't yelling when I was touching your arm. What's the difference? It's a

little close there.

I don't really see your point.

Oh my god, when is this going to be over?

And you say you didn't take anything else.

No, I didn't take anything.

I didn't even take that. I didn't leave the store.

Hey, now you're rubbing it. Now you're rubbing me.

You're not even looking for anything.

I am making sure that something is not, you know, working its way out.

This doesn't feel right.

Maybe you should have thought of that before you walked into a store with a

gun.

Exactly. A fake gun.

Wasn't real.

Nobody was gonna get hurt.

Oh my god.

This is insane.

There's no reason for you to be touching me.

I don't know why you keep saying touching you. I'm searching you.

This is not searching.

This is not searching.

What are you looking for? A pot of gold?

A pot of gold? What are you, a fucking leprechaun?

It doesn't look like a leprechaun.

What are you, a pervert?

Name -calling? Really?

Okay.

Yeah, see?

Took a second.

That made you a deal. Yeah, that was, that was invasive.

Unnecessary. I need you to have a seat.

Okay, so here's the deal.

There is thousands of dollars worth of... Thousands?

I mean, the purse alone is worth a couple grand. No, no.

That's tacky shit. I don't even want it anyway.

Why are you stealing tacky shit?

I don't know.

Or... Well, anyway, that's enough to actually make you serve quite a bit of

time on top of the fact that...

Bringing a fake or real gun, it's the intent.

Okay? And it's a serious crime.

So, again, you're looking at a lot of time.

So, when I went to go grab the bag, I actually did call the police.

No.

Yes.

So...

They're going to be here.

They said it'd be about an hour.

So they're making their way here.

Please, no, no, no, please.

My parents will disown me if they find out I did this. Like, please, you have

tell them.

You made it up. It was a lie. Please, I'll do anything.

Like, I cannot get in trouble. Seriously, I really can't. Well, you're

in a lot of trouble.

Well, your thing is you can't go to jail, is what you're saying.

No, no, no, please. No, Dale.

I'll do whatever.

Okay.

You'll do whatever?

I'll do whatever.

I'll do whatever.

I mean, the whole time you've been calling me a pervert.

You are.

So what do you think a pervert would want?

I know what you want.

God.

I have to?

You don't have to. You can go to jail.

I don't want to go to jail.

I don't want to go to jail.

In any case.

Fine.

God, I can't believe we're doing this.

No.

That's it.

There you go.

It's okay

Fuck.

Oh fuck.

Fuck. Get up here.