All language subtitles for Neighbors.2026.S01E01.AMZN.WEB.h264-EDITH.en[sdh]

[♪ intriguing music playing]

Take your gates out of the road.
That's the law.

Figure it out, or you can
spend some time in jail.

[Josh]
I can have my gate.

I don't have
to let you through.

[Seth]
I wanted to get
away from people.

And then one of the crazies
from out there moved out here.

♪♪

Those homeowners do not own
the beach to the water.

They're just
entitled elitists

that want to call
the beach their backyard.

That beach property
might be sand,

but it's no different
than your backyard.

If someone were to come
and set up a grill

and a boom box
without your permission,

would you be upset?

[Josh]
I never expected someone

as far away as they are

to cause me near the amount
of problems that they have.

[Sara]
This whole beach situation

has pit neighbor
against neighbor.

Get the fuck
off my property now!

[drone whirring]

[Seth]
Just got a bad neighbor
over here.

He's unpredictable.
He's gonna kill someone.

♪♪

I didn't realize how in-depth
you guys went on this.

-What?
-Apparently, this is a new fort.

That was not the plan
for those cinder blocks, but--

But-- Well, can we
keep it as this?

Not forever.
[chuckles]

This was kind of
the ultimate challenge.

Can I come out here and take
a piece of empty, barren land,

and turn it into a home?

2020, when COVID really hit,
kinda cemented that for us.

Like get away
from population centers.

When we first
moved out here,

we didn't really expect
to have neighbor problems,

'cause we didn't really expect
to have neighbors.

-[metallic hammering]
-Hey y'all,

can you not do that
right now?

-Mm-hmm.
-Thank you.

Those are my neighbors.

Hi, my name is Seth,
and this is my bug out

that I built, my home.

I moved out here in 2016,

to get out of the crazy
that was going on in Portland.

On the 20th year
of each century,

there's been a plague.

So, I told my wife
we need to get out of here

before 2020 hits.

We came out here
where we could slow down,

where we can just live our day.

We can work with our horses
where it's quiet.

When I first met Josh,
he wanted to put gates
up in the road.

I told him,
you can't do that, man.

Horses have been taking
that road for hundreds of years,

you know,
since the cowboys
have been out here

and the natives
have been out here.

[Josh]
The beef with our neighbors

started even before we actually
got to move out here.

Yeah. So, we've got
all the pictures of

the, uh, listing
of what it showed out here.

These beautiful green fields
of luscious grass.

And there's no horses
anywhere.

And then, this is what happened
when we actually got out here.

[yelling] Ha! Hey!

These guys are just nuisances.
They're pests.

If they break my fence,
I have to fix it.

If they get in
and they eat my hay,

then I have to
replace that.

They have food.
They have grain.

If you would open your gate,
they could get to it.

[Josh]
I can have my gate.

Especially since this
is not a public road,

this is a private road.

Look, bro, we ain't
doing this today.

Get outta here!

[Seth]
You're not allowed to take
a motorized vehicle

and run up on an animal.

That is against the law.

I have never read a law
that says it is illegal

to scare horses
with engine sounds.

[Starla]
He was told
more than once,

quit chasing the horses.

By us.

By Randall.

My name is Randall Oberg,

and I'm neighbors with
Josh and Brittany.

It's against the law
to chase the horses.

The gate became
a reality shortly after

one of our neighbors,
Randall,

threatened to kill me
and my wife

for about 15 minutes.

[Randall shouting]

It was the first thing
in the morning.

I'm sitting down drinking
my first cup of coffee,

and I see the horses
come running.

I know somebody
on a four-wheeler

is chasing my horses.

I just called his wife a cunt
on his own property.

I probably would
have been upset myself.

[Josh] What are you gonna do?

What are you gonna do?

During the confrontation,

he started out very
emotionally high, very violent.

And then he kinda
came down a little bit.

[Josh]
From that moment on,
my kids were terrified.

And the gate became
a security blanket for them.

Kind of makes you
feel secure.

I feel like he's gonna
come drag my dad outside

and try and kill him.

It's not fun having
to have the gate,

but that's the nature
of the beast.

What do you expect to happen?
This was your fault.

You moved into a pasture.
You put fences up everywhere.

You started fighting
with the neighbors.

They've been out here doing
whatever they wanted for years.

And now I'm standing up
for what is mine

and what I have rights to.
And they don't like that.

You bring the country
to the town,

but you don't bring the town
to the country.

Leave your city shit
in the city.

You want to live like this
in the city,

go live in the city.

-[♪ percussive music playing]
-[people chattering]

Right now we're going
to Lake Causeway.

It's my typical beach
that I go to.

You have a little space
of public beach

surrounded by private.

My kids don't want
to come here with me
anymore, though.

They are full of anxiety.
The whole time, she's like,

"Mom, do you--
Is he here?
Do you see him?"

She just spends
her whole time

looking for
the property manager

that always
harasses people.

Toddler in action.

Our manager called me.
I-- I'm just down here

to let you know that
you're on private property.

[Sara]
My first altercation
with Brent

was when he took pictures
of my daughter.

You need to stop recording
my daughter right now,

or I'm going to make this
your worst day ever.

Do you hear me?

[birds chirping]

[Brent]
My name is Brent Fuller.
I'm a property manager.

I'm there to keep
the public aware

that this is
private property.

We still have that Sara Day lady
come out here,

harasses the crap out of me
and the owners all the time.

She drives past
ten public beaches

to come down here
and harass me.

At this point, I think she's,
like, in love with me.

You're a chair boy.

You're a-- You're a chair boy.
That's all you'll ever be.

Yes, they are trespassing.

And, yes, I video them
and take pictures of 'em.

You're on private property...
You're still on
private property...

-You're on private property.
-Quit videotaping me!

-Hey!
-[Brent] Quit touching me!

Why don't you shut
your fucking mouth
and don't say anything?

Put your hands
behind your back,
you pussy!

Will you please
get off my property?

Will you please
leave me alone?

Will you please
get off my property?

Will you please
leave me alone?

The homeowners
have given him

authority to run people
off the beach.

They just hired a bulldog
to go do it for 'em.

[Eric]
The private beach
that is private today,

was never public.

It was controlled by
the private beach owners

who take care of the beach,
take care of the turtles,

make sure that
the holes are filled,

make sure nobody's
getting too crazy.

That squelched
the rowdiness

and the anarchy
that's well known

on public beaches
across the country.

People taking our chairs
off of our decks,

people actually
coming off the beach

and defecating, um,
underneath our house.

I am familiar
with Eric Wilhelm.

He is a beachfront owner.

Sara got involved.
She's extremely active.

This is actually an exchange
between he and I.

"Psychotic, screaming tirades
on the beach

by hysterical liberals."

He's just really
disrespectful.

I'm sorry if I hurt
people's feelings.

This discussion is not
a comfortable discussion.

Let's get it done.

If I can ever find
some sane people

on the other side that
are willing to talk to me,

I would search
to the end of the earth

to try and solve this problem,
'cause it's a big one.

[Seth]
I need to go check
if the gate's open.

See if I can
check on my horses before
this storm comes in.

Some people have this
mental blockage in their head

that they just can't get right.

Some obstinate thing that,
you know, "I won't give in."

If there's a lock
and a chain,

I'm gonna have
to call the cops again.

And the gate is shut.
[sighs]

The dumbass
has locked it again.

It's a road!

I need to use the road!

And he just stands there
and stares at you.

He's probably trying
to give me some mad dog look,

thinking that somehow
that I'm the bad guy.

I'm calling the cops again.

This guy is just
such a piece of shit.

[Starla]
Picture sound
on your TV?

[Seth]
Let's get ready for this.

I heard you.

Court is in session.
This is Robert Collins versus

Joshua and Brittany Alspaw.

[Seth]
They've pushed
their easement

into other
people's properties.

And it's been 18 months
and running.

Even though we're way out
in the middle of nowhere,

we still have a right
to a speedy trial.

This is not
a criminal case, sir.

The right to a speedy trial
applies to criminal matters.

What he's doing
is criminal matters.

You've mentioned mediation.

Your Honor,
I think that a mediation

could potentially
be successful.

[judge]
Well, let's do that.

I will schedule
a mediation

for as soon as
reasonably possible.

Thank you all.
We'll be adjourned.

♪ Farewell we call ♪

[lip-syncing]
♪ ...to hearth and hall ♪

This is, um, a production
of the "Misty Mountains Cold"

from the Hobbit movies
sung by The Wellermen

and a bunch of other guys,
me included.

It currently is
at 4.5 million views.

So, I do have a TikTok channel
called The Bearded Bard.

I'm a dude with a phone
who has a lot of people
who watch him.

I use that as advertising
for my woodworking

and blacksmithing business.

So I'm over here
working on a small batch

of the kitchen axes

and should be done
by the end of the week!

And I keep making things
and you keep being happy

watching me make them.

Yeah, let's do that.

[on video]
Y'all, we are back in--

I love playing
multiple characters.

And lo and behold,
people loved them.

My name is Todd Grimm.
I am a dwarf cleric.

I'm D'Artagnan the Bard.

I am known as
"The Wizard."

[imitating Gollum]
Smeagol...

[creepy giggle]

Why does it cry,
Smeagol?

Half of his life
is a fantasy.

Half of his life is a lie.

And the rest,
I have no clue.

Because I only see
what I see on TikTok.

Now, Starla,
I would ask you
to leave me alone...

See? He calls me by name.

What are you going to do

to keep your horses away

because this is
borderline harassment.

The neighbor drama videos

were reaching into
the hundreds of thousands,

if not millions of views.

People like those videos
because they like drama.

And I'll be real,
I probably fed into that
a little bit.

Somehow this idiot
has two million followers,

to threaten us over here
that we're doing bad stuff.

[Starla]
"You and your
inbred family

are disgraceful cunts."

"Kill yourself, fat cunt."

This comment is from "Ogre,"
which I believe is Seth.

"You can roll play. Great!

Can you Role Play that
you're a decent neighbor?"

"...if you only knew
the real beardedtard."

You're gonna have
to try a lot harder, man.

I'm a fat guy
on the internet.

"...but the beardedtard
is the bad guy here.

You must be a liberal
if you believe that idiot."

I'd have to guess that
they were ultraconservative?

That's pretty much
the only group

that uses the word
"liberal" as an insult.

You know,
to my neighbor Josh, you know,

if you did a little research,
you would find out

that all of your fears,
there's nothing to it.

He's not looking
into anything he's heard.

What we really
need to worry about,

instead of me
and my neighbor fighting,

we need to get together
as we the people

and do something
about this government

and what they do here.

It's an orgy of evidence.

This is a big setup.

So, I just started
doing research,

and research,
and research,

and finding out
the truth of the world,

of what's really going on.

When you go
in that rabbit hole,

it gets really scary
because then you see stuff.

[♪ intense music playing]

[explosion booming]

It was taken down
by explosives.

Oh, my God,
my entire planet
is run by a satanic cult.

What they're doing
with all the children,

there's adrenochrome
harvesting...

...they're doing a lot
of sexual stuff.

There is a worldwide
conspiracy going on.

I sound crazy when I say it,
but I don't care.

It's the truth.

I'd love to see people
wake up.

If everybody else
knew what I knew,

and had seen what I seen,

the world would change,
like, today.

[Sara]
You need to stop recording
my daughter...

When I had
the altercation with Brent

I sent that video
to Shoreline Defender.

[keyboard keys clacking]

Shoreline Defender
came into play

when that person realized

what was actually happening
on the beaches.

They decided that people
needed to know.

I understand

why Shoreline
might want to remain...

anonymous.

A lot of people in
our town are afraid.

-[knocking on car window]
-[Shoreline Defender] Get in.

[voice distorted]
Get in, get in. Come on.

-[car door shuts]
-People have lost their jobs.

They've been blackmailed.
They've been stalked.

They've been followed.
I'm hiding my face.

And you can refer to me
as Shoreline Defender.

I started this page

just to monitor
the situation on the beach.

Especially once our
Backstreet Boy moved in.

Things really started
getting ugly.

[reporter]
Brian Littrell is suing
a Florida county,

accusing the sheriff there
of refusing

to keep people
off his private beach.

That beach "access"
doesn't entitle you
to public beach.

These celebrities
and elites

are so terrified
of regular people,

they'll hire vendors
who are basically beach Nazis.

And the king of
these losers is Brent,

the sunburnt scarecrow.

I never peel.

Shoreline Defender
gave me the nickname

"The Sunburnt Scarecrow."

'Cause you can just see
how burnt I am every day.

But it's like all they live for
is, "Let's go harass Brent."

There's some crazy people
out here.

They could just read
all this stuff online,

come down
and just shoot me,

shoot me in the head.

Yes, that's crossed
my mind several times,

but it's part of my job.

I love what I do.

I love protecting
private property rights.

I'd do it for free.

The last five years
have been tough.

They've been really tough
on the family.

My family doesn't feel safe.
People, uh, threaten us.

"We should burn
their houses down."

There's been pictures
of lynchings

of beachfront owners.

There's pictures of guns
on beachfront owners.

[producer speaking]

[distorted]
How do you know about that?

[♪ determined music playing]

-[Sara] Hi.
-Hi.

Do you guys know that
you can sit down here, too?

-[beachgoer] No.
-[Sara] We developed an app

that tells you
how much space you have

seaward of
the mean high water line,
which is public space

-for everybody. Always.
-Oh, wow. Alright.

This is amazing.

-Shoreline Defender.
-That's a must.

Going to the beach
should not be contentious.

Keep you from getting into
arguments with the homeowner.

[Sara]
Honestly, that's the hope.

Shoreline Defender app.
Yep.

-[beachgoer 2] Nice name.
-[Sara] Yep. Yeah, right?

Today is July 4th.

We're about to throw out
a thousand of these.

On the back of the koozie
is a QR code.

[Sara]
We developed an app

that tells people where they
can sit on any of our beaches.

-That is amazing!
-[Sara] To the-- To the feet!

We are telling the public
what their rights are.

It's, uh, not a good app.
It confuses me.

It took me ten minutes
to figure out how to
even make it work.

And I just downloaded
the app just now,

just out of curiosity.

It's got me logged in
at the beach,

and I'm not even
at the beach.

So, it's just gon' make
the sheriff's job harder.

It's gon' make
property manager jobs harder.

This app is definitely
gonna cause total chaos.

[Mike] I'm here looking
for wristbands. No wristbands.

[laughing] Have you seen
these signs over here,

say you have to have
a wristband to be on the beach?

-Oh, yeah.
-What the hell is that about?

-It's a beach!
-I know, it's nuts, man.
It's nuts.

[♪ quirky music playing]

[children chattering]

Hey! Hey!

Doing a little audit
of all the beaches.

I heard about, uh, the--
the Santa Rosa controversy.

It's a free press.

I tell people
all the time that

our rights are like muscles.

If we don't exercise them,
we will lose them.

If you can see it,
you can shoot it.

You cannot trespass
the eyes.

My lovely fiancée and I are
First Amendment auditors.

-That's our job.
-[Mike] Fuck yourself.

Go fuck yourself!

-Hey, hey!
-Stop taking pictures.

You are not allowed
to record me.

You need to shut that off.

Stop taking pictures
of you right now?

Uh, yeah, no.
That's not gonna happen.

I'm taking photos
on a public sidewalk.

And that's what
he's arresting me for.

Hmm. Curious.

Stacey and I actually used to be
members of a religious cult.

The Mormons.

I disguised myself

and went back
into the cult incognito

with hidden cameras.

And I recorded a lot of
the uber-secret ceremonies

and rituals that they have
in their temples.

I've had numerous people
assault me

or threaten to assault me.

Excuse me. Whoa, whoa!

Touch my camera again,

you're getting tased,
motherfucker.

Ooh, you gonna hit me?
You gonna hit me?

[shouting]

You're a little fuckin' worm.

[Mike]
I've got a taser.

You are touching me.
Get away from me!

If it's your time,
it's your time.

And if some psycho
comes out and shoots me,

you know, i-it's--

It's my time to go,
I guess.

And he died doing
what he loved.
[laughing]

Yeah, and I died
doing what I loved:

Defending our rights
and exercising my rights.

[Josh]
This whole thing
has really put

stressors on our
relationship.

We're in the hole.

And money
is one of the things

that stresses Brit out
the most.

I don't think she'd leave.

But I think she would
separate from me.

If I was not doing my job
as the husband,

I think she'd basically
just say,

"You find a different bed
to sleep in,

this one's mine."

So, I've been doing
everything I can

to bring money in.

If none of this neighbor stuff
would have happened,

we wouldn't be in this
situation monetarily

that we're in currently.

We wouldn't be
in the situation emotionally

that we're in currently.

Which sucks.

[fuse sparking]

Okay. Run for your life.

[chuckles]

[breathing heavily]

[explosion booming]

This is a cave
I'm building.

It's my fallout shelter,

slash, science project.

There's really a likelihood
of a world war happening.

Me and my family are gonna
come down here and hide out

and wait for the blast waves
and stuff to stop.

When me and Josh
were getting along fine

and there was no issue, and--

Even though
he is a shithead,

I would still let him in,

if there was something
bad going on

and he needed to get away
and be safe, you know.

I would save him,
you know, if I could.

[♪ dramatic music playing]

[Josh]
They know they're not
supposed to be over here.

They have been told,
"You are trespassed.

You are not allowed
to ride through here."

But it looks like they are
simply ignoring that

and doing it anyway,
again.

Oh, they're coming
straight at us.

[Josh] Actually, yeah.

We lost that
like a year ago.

Thank you, thank you.

I've been wondering
where that thing was.

[Starla] Yeah! Yeah!

[hoofbeats thumping]

[Josh] Mm-hmm.

And they're all riding
where they're

-not supposed to be riding.
-[Josh] Yeah.

[♪ "Ole Country Boy"
by Hitman playing]

♪ Just an ole country boy
with my hat to the back ♪

♪ With a double-wide dream,
a couple jailhouse tats ♪

-♪ Down an old dirt road
where I pay my dues ♪
-[gunshot]

-♪ I thank the Lord
that I'm breathing ♪
-Get 'er done, son.

♪ Just an ole country boy
with my hat to the back ♪

-♪ With a double-wide... ♪
-[gunshot]

[Starla]
When it boils down

to the end of the day
and this mediation,

I don't know, I just
really, really, really
pray and hope that

he decides to do
the right thing because
that's what neighbors do.

To go good,
but how I think
it's gonna go?

-Not so good.
-Yeah. Him bringing
the city out here

is never gonna work.

I don't know.
Even gates ain't
from the city.

I think he's just stupid.

[Starla] I love you, kid.
We'll work through this.

[♪ mischievous music playing]

Hey, everybody!

"KULT News" back again
with another video.

Today, we're in, uh,
Santa Rosa Beach, Florida,

where we heard
some local patriots

had to create
an entire phone app

just to figure out where
they could sit on the beach

without being harassed.

What you filming today?

Oh, just doing
a little beach blog.

Alright, when you say
"It's all private property, um--

Don't take this
the wrong way, please.

That's the stupidest
fuckin' thing I've ever heard.

This is not my first rodeo,
my friend.

You're wrong.
And you're gonna
find out the hard way.

You can have the sheriff
come out here and tell me

I'm on private property,
and then I'll leave.

But you're wrong
'cause I've looked it up.

Didn't work out so well
for you, did it, friend?

You think I'm trouble,
wait 'til I have

a hundred of my friends
out here on this beach.

I don't care if your kids
are out here.
I'm out here too.

Sure enough, I'm out here
for like five minutes

and this loser up here

tries to tell me that
I'm on private property here.

These people have lost
their freakin' minds.

Now they're gonna learn
a valuable lesson today.

You go tell your little
Backstreet Boy,

uh, tenant over there,

I said,
"I want it my way."

That's where you sing,
♪ Tell me why ♪

I think I just found something
to do for the day on the beach.

[♪ mischievous music continues]

Oh, sweet!
I could use some shade.

Thanks. Appreciate it.
Yeah.

Um, if-- If you touch me
with that, I'm gonna--

Hey, you're touching me!

Do not touch
my fucking mom.

She's pushing me
with that.

I'm gonna
pepper-spray you, dude.

Back off! She came over here
and touched me with that.

-You wanna get--
-I did not touch you.

Yes, you did!
You're gonna get
pepper-sprayed.

Back off, lady!
Back off!

If you pepper-spray me,
you're going--

-Back off!
-I didn't touch you.

-You most certainly did.
-Are you a pedophile?

-Are you a child?
-Are you a pedophile?

-Are you a child?
-My kids are out here.

[mockingly]
"You must be a pedophile."

[normal voice] No, no,
I'm just out here with a camera,

flexing my freedoms.

-Here's a sheriff's deputy
-We asked you not to video.

Why are you
recording everyone?

You have lost
your freaking mind.

You may wanna
call your boss...

-You're gonna get educated.
-You are very wrong.

I will call my boss, sir.

[arguing on phone]

[Shoreline Defender]
He said he was
using the app.

-[Sara] Oh, my gosh.
-This is really not
what we need.

Gosh. Is-- Do we know
the precursor to this?

I think this guy is like some
First Amendment type guy.

We gotta do
something about this,
because this is just

feeding right into what
the homeowners want.

[Brent] [on video]
She rented this house...

[Mike's video continues playing]

...private property!

He knew my name.
I've never seen
this guy before,

but he was obviously,
uh, out of his mind.

-[video continues playing]
-[Mike] Back off!

She came over here
and touched me with that.

Things are starting
to escalate.

[Mike] You're gonna get
pepper-sprayed.

Back off, lady! Back off!

[Eric]
Somebody's gonna
get hurt.

Somebody
is gonna get hurt.

Hi, is this Mike?

[Mike speaking on phone]

So, I am concerned
about your video coming out

and setting us back
for all the work we've done.

They--

I-- I totally agree with you.

Well, a-and that's,
you know,

that plays into their game
of, "they don't feel safe."

That's like exactly
what we don't want.

We are not here to incite.

We are here to help educate.

[Shore Defender]
Both our side
and the homeowners

don't want that kind of stuff
down there.

Well, Eric Wilhelm
mentioned, um,

he wants to sit down
and talk with people.

And we could actually
come up with a solution.

[Eric] You know
I have this need
to fix things, right?

I need to solve problems.
So, I've reached out

and tried to get
all of these activists

over time to-- to have
a discussion with me,

publicly, as you know.

I've finally got one.
Sara, um,

has agreed to
sit down with me.

Our world today
lacks this kind of,

you know,
productive debate.

Today, facts don't really
drive the conversation

-more than emotions.
-[Eric] Right.

And you know me, right?
I don't have emotions.

-[laughing]
-Yeah, that's true. True.

[Eric]
I don't have any feelings.
[chuckles]

[♪ upbeat music playing]

-Hello, Sara Day.
-Hey, Eric.

-How are you?
-Good to meet you.

-Good to meet you, too.
-Over here fine?

Long time coming.

-Uh, yeah. Sure. Sure.
-[Eric laughing]

We have been mismanaged
with blurred lines

and misinformation
and confusion.

Absolutely, you have.

-And that stops now.
-Absolutely, yeah.

That-- That is something
that has to stop.

Absolutely. Do you know
where it's coming from?

-Where is that coming from?
-It's coming from the county.

-And I have--
-Would you agree with that?

-I-- Absolutely.
-Yeah. And that's a problem.

[Sara]
And I have addressed
that many times.

'Cause what does that do?
That causes conflict. Right?

Because then
there's more defense

and more ropes
and more signs.

I hate signs more than
anybody hates--

More than you hate signs.

I guess while we're
talking about it,

I would like to know your plan
to heal the community.

Well, the first thing
that I got to do

is find somebody
from the other side

that's willing
to work with me

'cause I can't do it myself.

Has that been difficult
for you?

It's been impossible
'cause nobody'll step up

because they don't
have any, um, logic.

Truly, you just made
my next point for me,

'cause you throw names
around that are--

Names? What names do I
throw around?

Hmm. "Carnival barkers."
"The Liberal Mob."

There's a lot of solution
to be had

if-- if we get our heads
out of the sand

and quit fighting
over semantics.

No, you're not-- You're not
being kind and respectful, Eric.

You are
a disrespectful human.

Private beach owners
don't want to have

their names drawn up,

stuff taken off their decks,

defecated underneath
their decks,

people parking
in their driveways.

Saying that people are
afraid for their kids

and afraid for their families.

I don't know that
you're ready to compromise.

Why can't we work out a deal--

What about just
open your beaches?

I can't speak
for everybody else.

What about you?

So, here's the problem.
You go online and say,

"Wilhelm says
go to his beach."

Tomorrow, I'm gonna have
500 people on my beach

with signs, and threatening me
with my video.

The way that it happens
down at Lake Causeway.

I am on that beach a lot.

-Why do you go there?
-Because it's

the closest beach access
to my house.

You got six other ones
that are just as close.

You don't get to tell me
where I go to the beach.

-It's such a--
-It's such a what?

It's ground zero, man.

Are you done?

I'm sorry I don't have
the feelings that you--

that you require to have
a discussion with you.

It's actually comments like that
that make you unrelatable.

My thousands and thousands
and thousands of employees

would disagree with you
on that one.

-I'm-- I-I-I--
-Right? 'Cause I'm
a pretty relatable guy.

We can give you
a cookie for that.

-I don't know what you want.
-I don't want a cookie.

-I'm not gonna encourage...
-Ab-- Stop, stop.

...people that live
next to beach access--

If you talk over me, I'm done.
If you talk over me, I'm done.

You're welcome to leave
anytime you want.

Okay. I think
we're done here, folks.

And this is why,
right here...

-No.
-...this is why we can't
have a conversation.

You continue to talk over me
and be disrespectful.

And I told you,
if you did those things,

I would be done.

You will not talk over me.

So, thanks for coming, Sara.

I appreciate you wagging
your finger in my face.

[Sara]
He wasn't there
to listen.

He's there to just talk
at someone.

Finding hard solutions
is not a touchy-feely game.

It takes grit,
it takes disagreement,

but it takes compromise.

[Josh]
We are one day away
from mediation.

It's supposed to be
tomorrow afternoon.

I'm gonna do my best
to stay calm

but I'm terrified

of what they're
going to do.

[Starla] Maybe I hope
mediation will work,
you know.

Just do what we can.
That's all we can do.

[Seth]
Whatever direction
we have to go

to make this idiot stop.

Right.

[R.J.]
My name's R.J. Dieken.

I'm a mediator.

I was asked to come
mediate this dispute.

With this being
my first official mediation,

I think this is gonna be
a test under fire.

I don't feel super confident
about what I'm gonna do.

But how do you
eat an elephant?

You do it one bite at a time.

[♪ dramatic music playing]

Is there anything
that either of you two

would like to say to each other
that has less to do with past

and more to do
with a move forward?

-Yeah.
-One thing right here

that I could think of
to say to you

that would solve
90% of this issue:

Take your gates
off of the road.

I legally own land
farther down

-this private easement.
-[Starla] Okay, it's like this.

You are not allowed
to stop people

from going down
a public road!

-It's a private road.
-They don't have any legal
ownings back there.

-There's no reason for them
to go back there.
-[Starla] We have reason!

You have cut off 1,500 acres.

-It is all private.
-No, we have not.

-It's all private
-Owned by individuals.

-[overlapping shouting]
-[Starla] I'm done,

'cause I'm not getting in a
yelling match with these idiots.

-[Josh] If they own land,
I let them through.
-I'm just done.

I'm really-- I'm trying to make
some ground with you here.

-[R.J.] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
-[Seth] Okay, Josh?

I don't want
to really fight with you.

Can I just talk to you
for a second and be a friend?

I'm offering a hand
to be a friend

if we can just talk about this.

We know it's your property,
man, but this is a road.

If every single person
was living out here

in every single plot,
and every single person

had a gate up on the road,

would we function here?

[♪ percussive music playing]

Yes or no?

-Yeah.
-Yep.

[Seth] Seriously?

I just hope at some point

you'll realize
you're the bad guys here.

Would you like to bring up
the things

that you said to me online?

Yes, I would.

"Beardedtard.
Midget brain."

Yeah. And I heard everything
you said online, too.

What did I say?

And all your
two million followers

threatening to kill us.

None of them threatened.

-She sent me the messages.
-Bullshit.

Bullshit. I read--

You called me a liar.
You called me

-all sorts of things.
-I think we're done here.

Get yourself out of here.

I'll knock your fuckin' teeth
down your throat.

-Don't threaten my wife.
-No! Fuck you.

-Don't threaten my wife.
-[Seth] Quit.

Just control yourself, girl.

Seriously.

[Josh]
Just continued to call me
a liar with no proof.

I knew that this
was gonna happen.

[Seth]
So? I'd beat the fuck out
of that portly little bastard.

He just ain't fuckin' worth it.
The law will fix it.

[Sara]
Ivy, come back! Lay down.

Hey! Obey me. Lay down.
Please stop.

Move on, then.
Then move.

And don't come back.

I'm just trying to figure out
the Eric Wilhelms of the world,

what the problem is.

Just because you have
a beachfront property,

that does not mean
that it is morally right

to keep your neighbors
off of it.

[Eric] My wife and I
have spent our life

building this life
for our family,

and this is a place
of absolute peace
and harmony for us

that we aren't gonna
be willing to give up.

We'll fight for it.

[Seth] I've been
a Dungeon Master

since I was about 12,
13 years old.

It's too bad that
the neighbor down there

is the way he is
because he plays it, too.

And he says he's
a Dungeon Master, too.

[Josh]
Oh, I am definitely
a Dungeon Master.

"Dungeons and Dragons"
is really fun because

you get to do
whatever you want.

[Seth] If he was
a cool neighbor,

then I would have definitely
already invited him over to play

unless he plays fourth edition.
[chuckles]

We'd have probably already
played a lot of times by now.

[Josh] If you're
in a situation like this,

if you can move,

I would.

If you can't,

be ready
to defend yourself.

[Seth] I think your
neighbors should be

one of the first people
that you get along with.

If you can't get along
with your neighbors,

that kind of says
something about you.

[♪ dramatic music playing]