Original subtitles

Previously on "Better Call Saul"...

I did get one call after everything went down.

Kim...

She asked about me.

[Dials]

I'm looking for Kim Wexler.

[Grunts] [Receiver slams]

[Glass shatters]

The guy with cancer can't be an asshole?

You know, forget it, you're fired. Just go.

If we're gonna do this, we should leave now.

We're really gonna go back there?

Come back and get me in 20 minutes,

[Rain falling]

[Ball thudding]

[Cellphone vibrates]

[Bluetooth beeps] Yeah.

Francesca: Do you have any idea what time it is?

Watched pot never boils, Francesca.

It's been an hour.

You've got a lobby full of people out here,

and at eight o'clock I am done.

I don't care if the building burns down.

I'm going home.

Wow, you and your work ethic.

Did I ever tell you how indispensable you are?

No?

How much longer, Saul?

You know what? I can't say.

So pass along my sincerest apologies

and tell 'em I'm swamped.

Everyone can hear you bouncing that thing.

That's the sound of thinking.

You should try it sometime.

[Bluetooth beeps]

[Sighs]

[Chair clunks]

[Ball thudding intensely]

[Column creaks]

[Column bangs]

[Sighs]

[Column squeaks, bangs]

[Sighing]

[Drawer opens, glass clinks]

[Sniffs]

[Mirror clatters, drawer closes]

[Groans]

[Envelope rustling]

[Sighs]

[Bluetooth beeps]

[Line ringing]

Yeah?

What are you waiting for?

Send her in.

[Bluetooth beeps]

[Sighs]

[Static hisses]

[Videotape clicks, whirs]

[Distorted music plays]

[Music stops, tape clicks]

[Tape rewinding]

[Birds chirping]

[Knife scrapes]

[Knife clanking]

[Door opens, creaks]

[Door creaks, closes]

How's it coming?

Good.

[Bag rustling]

[Bottles clink]

[Bag rustling]

Did you get the mayonnaise?

Well, here's the thing --

they didn't have Duke's, and I really like Duke's.

But they didn't have it, which is a bummer.

So...

[Bag rustles]

I dunno.

Think this'll work?

I mean, technically it isn't actually mayonnaise, but...

Yeah, technically, I don't think this is mayonnaise.

But close, right?

What do you think? Should we give it a shot?

I dunno. What do you think?

[Exhales slowly]

Yeah.

Let's give it a shot.

[Jar thuds]

[Bag rustles]

[Rupert Holmes' "Escape (The Piña Colada Song)" plays on radio]

Kim: Oh, my gosh.

Cissy: I don't know. It's as close as I could get.

Cissy, garnet and gold! I see it plain as day.

Plus, they're really beautiful, Cissy.

Aaah, the red ones could maybe pass for garnet.

But the "gold" ones are just regular yellow.

Well, the minute I saw them I said, "FSU!"

Besides, gold food coloring?

[Scoffs] June, did you ever even hear of that?

No! Sounds expensive.

And if they even make such a thing, you'd probably get flipper-hands

from all the chemicals they'd put in it.

Well... [Chuckles]

This is as close as I could get, anyway.

Oh, it's perfect, Cissy. Thank you.

Oh, my gosh. Ah, this is all so beautiful.

Everything looks amazing. Looks delicious.

Oh, I forgot spoons. Sorry.

Well, let me tell you about epoxy --

Epoxy yellows.

You hit it with enough sunlight...

-No. Well -- -He's right.

-Wait, no. -No, he's right.

If you just use a dark enough floor --

Guys, I'm telling you, we're never gonna settle this.

I've been having this argument five days a week,

but now I'm Sweden.

Switzerland. Kim: You want something to drink?

-Wine coolers? -Great. Cissy?

Marvin doesn't like me to drink.

Cissy, we're gonna get a wine cooler down you one day.

[Bag whips, water running]

[Water shuts off]

That was fun.

Yeah. That was fun.

[Plates clink]

[Garbage can thuds]

[Water runs, silverware clinks]

[Soft thudding]

[Heavy breathing]

[Grunts] Yep.

Yep.

Yep.

Yep.

Yep.

Yep!

Yep.

["Amazing Race" plays on TV] Man: That's it right there.

Good job, guys.

"Peter the Great is buried inside me."

"Find me in..." Glen: What did she say?

Woman: We're gonna help each other.

Boy, you gotta be in shape to be on this show.

Kim: You sure do.

Lotsa running.

Yeah.

You think they ever ran with the bulls on this show?

Like, in Spain?

Not that we've seen, I don't think.

Maybe it's too dangerous.

Whaddya think?

Maybe.

Maybe.

[Chair creaking]

[Dramatic music playing]

[Crickets chirping]

Oh, I thought the potato salad worked out great.

You think? Yep.

[Keys jingling]

Huh.

Looks like rain again.

Yeah. Does.

[Smooches]

Oh, hey, they opened a new Outback

down in Satellite Beach.

You wanna go Friday? Sure.

[Knock on hood] It's a date.

[Electric toothbrush whirring]

[Spits]

[Whirring continues]

[Crickets chirping]

[Turn signal clicking]

[Clicking stops]

[Turn signal clicking]

[Car door closes]

[Car alarm chirps]

Woman: Yes. Yes.

I don't want to not buy her toys, but I also...

[Envelope thuds]

[Indistinct conversations]

[Mouse clicks]

[Keys clacking]

[Copy machine whirring]

Kim: Could you tell me the flange diameter

of 212-dash-17-backslash-H?

Great.

And does that come in a three-inch riser,

or just the two-inch?

Great.

ABS or PVC?

Oh. Great.

[Tools whirring, grinding]

[Both shouting indistinctly]

[Indistinct conversations in distance]

Hi. Hi.

[Singsong voice] We're gonna sing at five.

Oh. Great.

Let me see.

[Basket thuds]

[Both laugh]

That's cute, June.

I'll pick up the cake after lunch.

Do you remember what kind of ice cream Tammy likes?

Uh...geez, no.

Yeah. So maybe... whaddya think?

Vanilla? [Gasps] Or strawberry?

Ooh.

Um...

[Inhales sharply] They're both good.

[Laughs] I know, right?

Five o'clock. Okay, great.

Woman: No, nobody makes it that long.

Well, I mean, because -- I mean, think about it.

It's got to fit in the truck, right?

So, how's it gonna fit in the truck if --

Well, yeah, but nobody makes a truck that long, so...

Safe to say.

Okay. Well, sorry we couldn't be of service.

So...whatever happened to crack?

How come you never hear about it on the news anymore?

Did everybody just all decide to stop taking it?

What's the drug that makes you dance around

and put a pacifier in your mouth?

Ecstasy. Ecstasy!

That's the big one now. I think that they have --

Yeah. That's the big one.

My sister's best friend's son?

Oh, my God...

But I don't understand the pacifier.

Why would they all need pacifiers?

Like, don't you think if you ran a store

and some teenager came in your store

and tried to buy a pacifier,

don't you think you'd call the police?

Yeah. Pbht! I sure would.

Absolutely. Whatcha eating?

Tuna salad.

I made it with Miracle Whip instead of mayonnaise.

Huh.

I use almond butter instead of pean--

[Keys clacking]

[Key clacks]

[Keys clacking]

[Knock on cubicle]

[Slurps] Mmm.

[Vehicle passing]

Tammy: When I woke up this morning,

guess what was in my living room.

[Richie Nick's "Thursday Afternoon" playing]

A freaking exercise bike.

Yeah. I can't believe he got that for my birthday.

[Telephone rings]

Hold on a second.

[Button clicks]

Palm Coast Sprinkler, watering your world since 1978.

Please hold.

[Telephone rings]

Kim: Yep?

Kim, there's a Viktor St. Claire for you on line three.

Kim?

Uh, yep. Okay.

[Button clicks]

Yeah. So, what do you think about that?

That's pretty rude.

[Incredulously] What brand is it?

I don't care who made it.

I don't care if it's Megatron 3000

or worth $4 million.

I'm gonna ride it straight back to the store,

and guess what he's gonna get for his next birthday.

Some hair regrowth serum,

and [chuckles] I'm gonna laugh at him.

Yeah.

[Blinds rattling]

Kim Wexler.

Jimmy: Hey, Kim.

You know who this is?

I'm gonna take that as a yes.

Uh, that receptionist of yours...

is she the type to listen in?

No.

Good. [Chuckling] Okay.

So, how's Florida been treating you?

I'm catching you between hurricanes, I hope.

Kim, you there?

[Blinds clack]

What do you want?

I don't -- I don't want anything.

I just...

It's been awhile, you know?

Just -- I'm thinking it's been awhile,

and, um, might be nice to catch up.

"Catch up." Yeah.

My mind was wandering this morning. I was just...

Not thinking anything in particular. Just random thoughts.

And, bam, it suddenly occurred to me it's been six years.

I mean, Jesus.

I-I couldn't believe it.

I thought you might wanna know I'm still alive.

Yep.

I'm still out here, still getting away with it.

The feds couldn't find their own ass

with both hands and a proctologist.

You shouldn't be calling me.

Oh, hey! You're awake!

You shouldn't be calling.

Why not? What, am I tying up the line

for important irrigation business?

I mean, c'mon, Kim. Say something. [Scoffs]

You can call me an asshole, yell at me.

Just let me know you've still got a pulse.

Just say something.

You want me to say something?

Yeah.

You should turn yourself in.

[Chuckling] Do what?

You heard me.

I don't know what kind of life you've been living,

but it can't be much.

Said the pot to the kettle!

What -- That is --

That is really rich, you -- you preaching to me?

See, you have no idea what I did or didn't do, okay?

A-And why don't you turn yourself in, seeing as how

you're the one with the guilty conscience, huh?

What -- What is stopping you?

Fring's in the ground.

Mike's in the ground. Lalo's in the ground.

Apparently.

You don't have to hold back on my account.

They can only hang me once. So -- So go ahead.

Spill your guts!

Put on your hair shirt, see what it gets you!

Why --

Kim, why are we even talking about this?

We're both too smart to throw our lives away for no reason.

Just...

I just... I only wanted to...

Kim.

[Exhales sharply]

Kim?

[Breathes deeply]

Kim.

I'm glad you're alive.

[Receiver thuds]

[Knock on door]

Yeah?

Time to sing!

Okay.

[Indistinct conversations]

* Happy birthday to you

* Happy birthday to you

* Happy birthday, dear Tammy

* Happy birthday to you

[Plane engine roaring]

[Engine rumbling]

[Brakes squealing]

[Bus rumbling]

[Horns honking]

[Button clicks]

[Indistinct conversations]

[Birds chirping]

[Indistinct conversations]

Woman: I can't leave before the judge dismisses you.

I'll make sure they're aware.

Now, just remember to sit up straight

and listen carefully when the judge addresses you.

Stay attentive and engaged.

Even if you're not so sure what's going on, don't show it.

Alright. Come here.

Tuck your shirt in for me, will you? Okay.

You gotta look good for the judge.

Because of your record...

[Elevator dings]

[Conversations continue]

[Intercom buzzes]

Kim?

Kim: Hi, Cheryl.

I'm out front.

[Intercom buzzes]

[Gate creaking]

[Doors bang]

[Birds chirping]

[Papers rustle]

[Breathes deeply]

[Inhales sharply]

[Sniffles]

[Exhales sharply]

[Breathes deeply]

[Breathing heavily]

[Papers rustling]

[Breathing heavily]

Howard was murdered?

Why?

He was...

...in the wrong place at the wrong time.

[Sniffling]

Where's his body?

I don't know.

[Inhales sharply]

And the police? Will they search again?

They'll search.

I don't think they'll find him.

[Inhales sharply]

Cheryl, he...

It -- It all happened in an instant.

And he didn't -- he didn't suffer.

"He didn't suffer."

The lies you two made up.

The picture you painted.

That's all he is now.

That's all anybody remembers.

I want to change that.

What happens now?

Will you be tried?

Will you go to jail?

I don't know.

You're a lawyer, right?

[Chuckling] You're a -- a great one, Howard said!

How could you not know?

Bernalillo County has my affidavit.

It's up to the district attorney whether to prosecute.

And she may not.

Why?

There's no physical evidence.

No remaining witnesses other than my ex-husband...

assuming he's still alive.

I could sue you in civil court.

I could take everything you've got.

Yeah.

[Breathes deeply]

Why are you doing this?

[Birds chirping]

[Engine starts]

[Gearshift clicks]

[Engine rumbling]

[Vehicle approaching]

[Air hisses, brakes squeal]

[Doors hiss]

[Bus rumbling]

[Indistinct conversations]

[Exhaling sharply]

[Sobbing]

Oh, God!

[Sobbing continues]

[Glass breaking]

[Lock disengages]

[Door opens]

[Man snoring]

[Sighs]

[Snoring continues]

[Piano key strikes]

[Light clicks]

[Camera whirs]

[Camera shutter clicking]

Passwords. Passwords...

[Inhales deeply]

[Drawers opening and closing]

[Crucifix clangs]

[Clears throat]

[Breathing heavily]

[Sighs]

[Chuckles]

[Snoring continues]

[Sighs]

[Brakes squeal]

[Lock disengages]

[Snoring continues]

[Gasps, snoring stops]

[Exhales sharply]

[Latch opens]

[Vehicle approaches]

Hmm.

A hat man.

[Breathes deeply]

[Glass thuds]

[Lid creaks]

[Watches rattling]

[Sighs]

[Urn thuds]

[Sighs]

[Ominous music plays]

*

Holy shit.

*

*

[Toilet flushing]

[Door opens]

[Door closes]

*

*

*

*

[Sighs]

*

*

*

Nothing to see here.

Move on.

*

[Police radio chatter]

*

*

*

[Cellphone thuds]

[Snores]

*

*

*

[Door closes]

*

*

[Gearshift clicks]

*

Cop: Look at this bullshit.

Look.

Look. What would you call this?

I'd call that...

I dunno, what?

Would you call that a fish taco?

Could anybody call this a fish taco? I mean, legally?

Stop waving that thing at me.

Look at this!

There's one piece of goddamned pollock

no bigger than the end of my thumb.

Now, how can you even call that a --

Like I'm s'posed to do something?

Whaddya want me to do about it?

Well, I want you to look inside there

and tell me what you see.

Huh? W-Would you or would you not

sell this to an unsuspecting public?

Why do you persist in ordering fish

when we're 1,400 miles away from the nearest ocean?

Because it's on the menu, alright?

Because I live in the 21st goddamn century, alright?

Mm.

And this? This is some bullshit.

I'm telling you, I got half a mind to go on back over there

and smack somebody in their face there.

[Tires squealing]

[Metal crunches]

[Police radio chatter]

[Slurps]

[Siren chirping]

[Car doors open]

[Steam hissing]

[Police radio chatter]

[Rain falling]

[Door opens, patriotic music playing]

Yes!

[Door closes]

[Statue thuds]

[Cellphone thuds] [Bangs desk]

[Pen clicks]

[Papers rustling]

[Sniffs]

[Pen scratching]

Whaddya think?

Pretty great, right?

Yeah, it's, um...

Yep.

I just need your printed name and signature.

So...Florida.

Florida, Florida, Florida...

[Breathes deeply] Why there?

I guess -- It doesn't matter.

Doesn't have to make sense. [Chuckles]

Hey, I gotta tell you, I think you're gonna regret

not taking your share of the Sandpiper money.

That'd buy a shitload of swampland.

[Sighs]

I will, um, file these tomorrow.

Alright. Well.

Have a nice life, Kim.

[Breathes deeply]

[Sighs]

[Papers rustle]

[Clip snaps]

[Patriotic music playing, telephone ringing]

Hey, Sweetcheeks, who do we got next?

Let's make some money!

Emilio Koyama!

*

Where's your paperwork?

I don't do no paperwork.

He doesn't do paperwork!

Who cares? C'mon, c'mon...

*

[Music continues]

[Man coughing]

[Rain pounding]

[Siren wails in distance]

Hey, yo, could I bum one of those?

Thanks.

Mm.

What's up with this shit?

Rainy.

Yeah. No. It-- It's crazy.

It's like bananas, all this rain.

I mean, I thought we were, like, in a desert, you know?

You're a lawyer, right?

Ah. I recognize you.

You defended my buddy Combo.

Christian Ortega.

Juvie court...? Stole a Baby Jesus.

I mean, not like a real baby, just a --

you know, one of those things outside of the church.

Nativity scene. Yeah.

Knights of Columbus.

I mean, what the hell did he even want that thing for?

Huh? I mean, I -- I still don't know.

Dumbass.

I told him he could go to Hell

for stealing something like that, I mean.

But did he listen to me? No.

But you -- you got him off, like, scot-free.

That -- That was pretty slick, yo.

Well...tell him I hope he's keeping his nose clean.

Yeah, yeah, right on.

Absolutely.

Ah.

Hey, so, you having all this expertise and all...

This guy Goodman?

Is he the real deal?

Like, lawyer-wise...?

Why do you ask?

I got a buddy in there who's facing some serious time.

I mean, not -- you know, not Baby Jesus-time,

but...but serious.

You know, he needs top-shelf legal representation.

And I tell him that, right?

But, you know, he sees this dude's commercials on TV

and this is where he wants to go.

And I tell him, "Yo, Emilio, you know, a funny TV commercial

is not a sound basis for, like, you know..."

I mean, like, would you go to anyone doctor to do, like,

an operation on you in like a --

on, like, your spleen or whatever

on the fact of a funny TV commercial?

No. I mean, come on.

How is this any different?

You know?

Anyway...

Is this guy any good?

When I knew him, he was.

[Rain pounding]

[Vehicle approaching]

[Air hisses]

[Brakes squeal]

[Doors hiss]

[Dog barking in distance]

[Keys jingle]

[Car door closes]

[Engine starts]

[Gearshift clicks]

[Watch thuds]

[Glass thuds]

[Door opens and closes]

[Glass thuds]

[Bottle thuds]

[Sighs]

[Glass thuds]

[Sighs]

[Breathes sharply]

[Glass thuds]

[Sighs]

[Cellphone vibrating]

[Keypad beeps]

Hello?

Jeff: Hey, uh, Dad?

It's me. It's -- It's Jeff.

Jeff? What time is it?

Are you okay?

Yeah, no, not really.

Um, I, uh...

Dad, I got arrested.

Oh, no.

What for? Jeffie.

It's like this crazy mistake, you know?

I mean, I had an accident, okay?

A -- A little fender-bender type deal, no -- no big thing.

My foot maybe slipped on the accelerator,

or maybe it was a defective -- I dunno.

But that's not the big-deal part.

The big-deal part is...

they think that I -- me -- committed a robbery.

And why would they think that?

I know, right?

The place where I had the accident?

This guy? This drunk guy?

He comes wandering out of his house

and flags down the cops -- the -- the police --

and says, "Hey, you know, I got robbed!"

And sure enough, the police?

They find evidence of, like, breaking and entering.

And -- And -- And stuff is missing, which I did not do.

And, uh...yeah. Like that.

Well, the police are obviously barking up the wrong tree.

Yeah. No shit, wrong tree!

Wrong, like, forest. Exactly.

Because you would never do something like that --

would you, son?

No. No. No way, man. Absolutely not.

Uh, when the police took you into custody,

did they find any of this so-called stolen merchandise?

Was it in your possession?

No. Of course it wasn't.

Because you didn't steal anything.

Therefore, since there's no evidence whatsoever

that you committed any crime,

I'd say you got nothing to worry about.

So, what happens next?

Breathe deep and sit tight.

I'll have you out by lunchtime.

You coming down here yourself?

Nah, I think it'll be your mom.

You'll talk to her for me?

I sure will.

I'll straighten it all out, no problem.

Yeah, okay. Good. [Sniffs]

Jeff, you're gonna get the best legal defense

in the whole wide world.

Trust your Old Man on that.

Okay, copy that. Sit tight.

You do that.

[Keypad beeps]

[Breathes deeply]

[Ice cubes clinking]

[Telephone ringing]

Marion: Keep your shirt on...

Hello?

Gene.

Gene, Honey, do you know what time it is?

Oh. Oh, God. That boy...

he's gonna put me in my grave.

Marion. [Chuckles]

It's a mistake, is all.

Getting picked up for something you didn't do?

That could happen to anybody.

Yeah, right, anyone...

This isn't the first time, you know.

He's been in trouble before.

Oh, Jesus.

Marion... The death of me.

He's gonna be the death of me.

Marion. Marion, it's gonna be alright.

We'll get him outta there lickety-split.

[Scoffs] I've been through this before.

There's nothing lickety-split about it.

Back when he was living in Albuquerque?

Drunk in public, resisting arrest?

Urinating in [stammers] someplace he shouldn't have.

And me on the telephone for hours, long distance,

trying to find him one of those bail-out places.

I maxed out my Discover card.

And I'm still paying for that one.

Well, money's not gonna be a problem,

'cause I'm gonna help you with that.

No. Gene, I can't let you do that. No.

Sure you can. Jeff'll pay me back.

And you don't have to worry about a bondsman, either.

Because guess what?

In Omaha, they don't have 'em.

Alright? You just walk into the station

and you pay a straight cash bail.

It's not like Albuquerque at all.

Marion, you still there?

Yeah. Why --

Wh-Why did Jeff call you instead of me?

Well, I think he was scared at how you'd take it.

Honestly, I was gonna pay the bail myself,

but I think it should be a family member.

I think that'd be best.

I'll tell you what -- I'm gonna take a shower, get dressed.

And you do the same.

I'll swing by and pick you up.

We'll get this whole thing squared away.

Wh-What about Buddy? Is he in any trouble?

I don't think so.

Why would he be?

[Chuckles]

I'll see you in about an hour.

Yeah, okay. Yeah. Thanks.

[Laptop thuds]

[Blondie's "The Tide is High" plays on radio] * Oh, no, oh

* It's not the things you do * * The tide i--

* That tease and hurt me bad *

[Humming]

* But it's the way you do *

* The things you do to me * * Do to me

* I'm not the kinda girl * * I'm not the kinda girl

* Who gives up just like that * * Who gives up just like that

* Oh, no, oh * * Oh, no, oh

* The tide is high * * The tide is high

* But I'm holding on * * But I'm holding on

* I'm gonna be your num-- * * I'm gonna be your num--

[Doorbell rings]

[Birds chirping]

* I'm not the kinda girl who gives up *

[Knocking] Marion!

* Just like that

* Oh, no

[Sighs]

[Humming]

[Sighs heavily]

[Humming]

[Knocking]

Marion!

Marion?

[Knock]

[Door closes]

[Loudly] Marion?

Oh! Hey.

Hi.

Oh, hey.

Everything okay?

Oh, yeah. I'm sorry.

I -- I just lost track of the time.

That's okay.

Uh, you wanna put some clothes on

so that we can get moving?

Whaddya say?

Oh, you know, well, I -- I...

I don't wanna slow things down.

I think maybe you oughta go without me.

Man (over headphones): ...partying, minding my own business.

[Siren wails]

Woman: You are under arrest.

[Volume increases] I better call Saul!

[Whipping]

Hi. I'm Saul Goodman.

Did you know that you have rights?

The Constitution says you do, and so do I.

I believe that, until proven guilty,

every man, woman, and child in this country is innocent.

[Gavel bangs] And that's why I fight for you, Albuquerque!

Announcer: Better Call Saul.

[Laptop closes]

What's that?

You tell me.

Marion, do you think that's me?

'Cause it's not.

There never was a Nippy, was there?

What did Jeff tell you?

Oh, he didn't tell me anything.

Ask Jeeves told me.

I typed in "con man" and "Albuquerque,"

and up you popped, big as day.

[Sighs]

What are you doing, Marion?

What do you think I'm doing? I'm calling the police.

Here, lemme help you with that.

[Plastic snaps]

Listen, I think we're losing sight

of the bigger picture here, okay?

Jeff is in trouble, and I wanna help him.

He and I sure could use your support here.

What did you get my son into...?

Nothing that he didn't ask for. [Chair clatters]

Now, listen,

I'm still the good friend you thought I was, okay?

Jeff understands me, Buddy understands me.

And you will, too.

It's just, you have to, uh,

you know, keep things on an even keel, alright?

What have you got there?

Uh...

Put that down. Huh...

Put that down, Marion.

Put it down.

Do not do it, Marion.

Final warning...

[Whimpering]

I trusted you.

[Button clicks, pendant beeps]

Marion? This is Valerie with Life Alert.

Are you okay?

No, Valerie, I'm not okay.

There's a criminal standing in my kitchen, threatening me!

He's a wanted man!

And his name is Saul Goodman!

Alright, Marion, I'm calling the police.

I'm calling right now.

[Breathing heavily]

Hoover, max extract the pressure.

Pro model 60.

Hoover, pressure...

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