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1
00:00:08,333 --> 00:00:10,291
[mellow music playing]
2
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[male waiter] Your food is ready.
3
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Amazing.
4
00:00:17,583 --> 00:00:20,000
-[waiter] One mixed grill.
-Wow.
5
00:00:20,750 --> 00:00:21,958
-[book thuds]
-[waiter] One biryani.
6
00:00:22,041 --> 00:00:23,041
[chuckles]
7
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-[waiter] Tarka dal.
-Great.
8
00:00:26,333 --> 00:00:28,333
-[waiter] And some naan.
-Ah, thank you.
9
00:00:28,416 --> 00:00:30,458
Enjoy your meal. Let us know
if you would like anything else.
10
00:00:30,541 --> 00:00:32,165
-Er, could I get some more water?
-[waiter] Yeah, sure.
11
00:00:32,290 --> 00:00:33,291
Thank you.
12
00:00:35,250 --> 00:00:36,291
-[plate clinks]
-Hot.
13
00:00:36,375 --> 00:00:39,125
[people chattering indistinctly]
14
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[man] Oh, my God! Yasmin?
15
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[Yasmin] What the fuck?
16
00:00:50,833 --> 00:00:52,083
What are you doing here?
17
00:00:52,166 --> 00:00:53,458
What are you doing here?
18
00:00:54,500 --> 00:00:57,666
Oh, yeah. You, erm,
come here every year on Eid, don't you?
19
00:00:57,750 --> 00:00:58,833
I... I totally forgot.
20
00:00:59,666 --> 00:01:01,875
-You forgot?
-Yeah, yeah. I'm just here...
21
00:01:01,958 --> 00:01:03,541
I'm just picking up some food.
22
00:01:03,625 --> 00:01:04,708
-Right.
-Yeah.
23
00:01:04,750 --> 00:01:06,208
-What a coincidence.
-I know.
24
00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:08,708
Actually, erm, do you mind if I...
25
00:01:12,041 --> 00:01:13,208
What's happening?
26
00:01:13,666 --> 00:01:15,791
I just told you.
I'm here to pick up some food.
27
00:01:15,875 --> 00:01:19,291
On the other side of London? At 9:30?
On Eid?
28
00:01:20,333 --> 00:01:22,166
-Yeah. [chuckles]
-Don't eat that.
29
00:01:23,166 --> 00:01:24,583
-Why not?
-You won't like it.
30
00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:26,000
I think I know what I like--
31
00:01:26,083 --> 00:01:27,541
-It's chicken not lamb.
-[gags]
32
00:01:27,625 --> 00:01:29,375
Here you go, ma'am.
Right this way.
33
00:01:29,458 --> 00:01:32,541
-Why would you get the chicken?
-Trying new things. That okay?
34
00:01:32,916 --> 00:01:35,166
Yeah. Bit weird 'cause the lamb's
a signature here, isn't it?
35
00:01:35,250 --> 00:01:38,166
You're here because of the article.
Can we stop pretending?
36
00:01:39,833 --> 00:01:42,833
-I'm sorry, what article?
-Are you being serious right now?
37
00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:47,416
I'm sorry if I missed your, what is it?
An article? That sounds fun.
38
00:01:47,500 --> 00:01:50,333
-Tell me about it.
-You're doubling down on this? Right.
39
00:01:50,416 --> 00:01:53,875
[chuckles] Dude, you know what it's like.
I got busy. You're busy.
40
00:01:53,958 --> 00:01:56,458
I'm sure you're not fixated
on every little thing that I'm doing.
41
00:01:56,541 --> 00:01:58,625
[laughs] This is a strong take.
I gotta hand it to you.
42
00:01:58,708 --> 00:02:01,083
Dunno what you mean.
Sounds like you think I'm--
43
00:02:01,166 --> 00:02:03,208
I'm, like, "killing myself
to be something that I'm not."
44
00:02:03,291 --> 00:02:05,708
And you memorized it. That's sad.
45
00:02:05,791 --> 00:02:09,125
Who's... Oh, you're sad? I'm not sad.
I've been having a great time.
46
00:02:09,208 --> 00:02:12,625
I've been swapping out, er,
"political art for vanilla distraction--"
47
00:02:12,708 --> 00:02:15,166
-Can you stop quoting my article, please?
-Which is inherently a fun thing to do.
48
00:02:15,250 --> 00:02:18,208
-It's not even about you. Mmm.
-[Shah] Oh, it's not about me?
49
00:02:18,291 --> 00:02:21,041
"Full disclosure.
Shah Latif and I know one another
50
00:02:21,125 --> 00:02:23,208
and have spent time together socially"?
51
00:02:23,291 --> 00:02:25,875
Is that how you're gonna describe
our relationship?
52
00:02:26,458 --> 00:02:27,875
That's how she described it!
53
00:02:27,958 --> 00:02:30,250
Calm down.
These people are not your audience.
54
00:02:30,333 --> 00:02:33,125
-You're ruining their dinner. And mine.
-This is revenge porn, man!
55
00:02:33,208 --> 00:02:34,250
This is revenge porn
56
00:02:34,333 --> 00:02:37,416
dressed up as an identity-politics
in-pop-culture-think-piece.
57
00:02:37,500 --> 00:02:40,000
Is it revenge porn
if you're fucking yourself over?
58
00:02:40,083 --> 00:02:42,916
Yeah, actually it is.
That's a sub-genre of revenge porn.
59
00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:45,000
It is! It doesn't matter
what kind of porn.
60
00:02:45,083 --> 00:02:46,750
-Delete that now!
-[people gasp]
61
00:02:46,833 --> 00:02:49,416
Delete that
or I'll break your fucking nose with it.
62
00:02:49,500 --> 00:02:51,250
-[man] It's gone.
-And the deleted pics folder.
63
00:02:51,333 --> 00:02:52,916
-What do you think, I'm thick?
-[Shah] Hey.
64
00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:54,541
[speaking Urdu] Yasmin, leave it!
Everyone's looking.
65
00:02:54,625 --> 00:02:55,750
[in English] Isn't that what you want?
66
00:02:55,833 --> 00:02:58,041
And that's not a private language here,
you idiot!
67
00:02:58,125 --> 00:02:59,958
-Dude, can you just delete it?
-Yeah.
68
00:03:00,041 --> 00:03:01,833
If you wanted a selfie, talk to me,
I'm very approachable.
69
00:03:01,916 --> 00:03:03,083
Uncle! Yeah, thank you.
70
00:03:03,166 --> 00:03:05,375
Enjoy your milkshake. Thank you.
Show's over.
71
00:03:05,458 --> 00:03:08,166
-What are you doing? You kidding?
-Enjoy your little fan club.
72
00:03:08,250 --> 00:03:10,375
Come on. Have you even paid? Has she paid?
73
00:03:10,458 --> 00:03:12,500
-[Yasmin] Yes, I've paid!
-[Shah] And I'm the dramatic one.
74
00:03:12,583 --> 00:03:14,625
Okay, look. Time out. I just wanna talk.
75
00:03:14,708 --> 00:03:16,166
-[Yasmin] Excuse me!
-[Shah] After all this time!
76
00:03:16,250 --> 00:03:18,666
I'm so sorry about that.
Can we just have a chat?
77
00:03:18,750 --> 00:03:21,250
It's not right, man. It's not right!
78
00:03:21,333 --> 00:03:23,583
-[paparazzo 1] Shah!
-[paparazzo 2] Over here!
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00:03:23,666 --> 00:03:25,333
[people clamouring indistinctly]
80
00:03:25,416 --> 00:03:27,916
[Shah] Fucking hell. Do you see that?
81
00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:29,875
Is there... Is there, er, a back door?
82
00:03:29,958 --> 00:03:31,250
-I think--
-Where's the back door?
83
00:03:31,333 --> 00:03:33,541
-I think they're here for me, right?
-Anyone?
84
00:03:33,625 --> 00:03:35,791
Fine, thanks. I'll find it myself.
85
00:03:35,875 --> 00:03:37,750
[Shah] Wait! Where... Where you going?
86
00:03:37,833 --> 00:03:40,166
-[waiters] d Happy birthday to you... d
-Sorry.
87
00:03:40,250 --> 00:03:41,250
[speaking Urdu]
88
00:03:42,625 --> 00:03:43,625
[in English] Is there an exit?
89
00:03:43,708 --> 00:03:46,375
Hey, hey, hey. Go, go away, go away.
It's not allowed.
90
00:03:46,458 --> 00:03:47,541
-[Yasmin] Okay.
-Not allowed, please.
91
00:03:47,625 --> 00:03:49,291
[speaking Urdu] Forgive us.
The food is very nice.
92
00:03:49,375 --> 00:03:50,416
[chef speaking indistinctly]
93
00:03:50,500 --> 00:03:51,875
-[Yasmin in English] Sorry!
-[Shah] What are you doing?
94
00:03:51,958 --> 00:03:53,125
Have you lost your mind?
95
00:03:53,208 --> 00:03:55,125
[tense music playing]
96
00:03:55,208 --> 00:03:58,791
-Hey, sir! You can't be here.
-I'm not trying... I'm trying to be there.
97
00:03:58,875 --> 00:04:00,041
I'm on my way out.
98
00:04:01,416 --> 00:04:03,458
[music continues]
99
00:04:03,541 --> 00:04:04,916
Just please slow down, man.
100
00:04:05,750 --> 00:04:08,500
-Slow down, please. Okay, I didn't--
-Shah, just stop.
101
00:04:08,583 --> 00:04:09,583
-[music stops]
-Okay.
102
00:04:10,208 --> 00:04:12,666
Okay, sorry. I went about that all wrong.
103
00:04:12,750 --> 00:04:15,458
I just wanted to see you.
The last bit wasn't my fault.
104
00:04:15,541 --> 00:04:18,707
[chuckles nervously]
Come on now, that was crazy.
105
00:04:18,791 --> 00:04:20,791
-[Yasmin] You're crazy.
-Me?
106
00:04:21,457 --> 00:04:24,250
Come on, you knocked people out
just by staring at them.
107
00:04:24,332 --> 00:04:26,957
If you ever need a job,
I could do with security.
108
00:04:28,416 --> 00:04:31,250
If you think that was fine,
you have some serious issues.
109
00:04:32,207 --> 00:04:34,541
Better than your little book-club-for-one.
What kind of Eid is that, huh?
110
00:04:34,625 --> 00:04:36,875
How about your Eid?
What, crossing London to stalk your ex?
111
00:04:36,957 --> 00:04:38,207
[chuckles] You need help.
112
00:04:38,666 --> 00:04:41,250
You know what, I do. And you did help me.
113
00:04:41,791 --> 00:04:43,541
And I'm grateful
'cause it shows that you care.
114
00:04:43,625 --> 00:04:46,500
-I do care, actually--
-[woman] Rose for a beautiful lady?
115
00:04:47,291 --> 00:04:49,625
You know what, yeah. Yeah.
I'll buy her a rose.
116
00:04:50,291 --> 00:04:52,416
[chuckles] I should be
thanking you, right?
117
00:04:52,500 --> 00:04:54,207
-No, please.
-You helped me. What?
118
00:04:54,707 --> 00:04:56,332
-How much for a rose?
-Five quid.
119
00:04:56,416 --> 00:04:59,291
-A bit steep. I'll do L2.50.
-You're embarrassing yourself.
120
00:04:59,375 --> 00:05:03,166
That's not the first time I would have
done that for you though, is it? Huh?
121
00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:06,208
-I don't need a rose from you.
-You don't need anything from anyone.
122
00:05:06,291 --> 00:05:07,875
-That's your whole problem.
-No, just not from you.
123
00:05:07,958 --> 00:05:10,583
-Actually, my life's pretty great.
-If it's great, lend me L5.
124
00:05:10,666 --> 00:05:12,458
Then I'll buy you a rose
and we can start from scratch.
125
00:05:13,791 --> 00:05:14,958
Five pounds is expensive.
126
00:05:16,750 --> 00:05:17,791
Hmm?
127
00:05:17,875 --> 00:05:20,957
You know, if you knew me at all,
you'd know I hate roses.
128
00:05:22,082 --> 00:05:25,207
I... I remember that. I just...
You've gotta love the gesture though, huh?
129
00:05:25,625 --> 00:05:27,332
-You love the gesture.
-[man] Guys, guys!
130
00:05:27,416 --> 00:05:29,625
Why don't you come in
for the best curry on Brick Lane?
131
00:05:29,707 --> 00:05:31,500
Twenty percent off
for the lovely couple, eh?
132
00:05:31,582 --> 00:05:34,416
-We're not a couple.
-We used to be. She's met my family!
133
00:05:34,500 --> 00:05:37,000
Yeah, I did, actually.
And do you know what?
134
00:05:37,082 --> 00:05:39,541
He made me wear a jacket
over my sleeveless dress
135
00:05:39,625 --> 00:05:42,375
-the first time when I met his Dad.
-Not in a fundo way.
136
00:05:42,457 --> 00:05:44,666
My dad's a bit
of a little pervy uncle, mate.
137
00:05:44,750 --> 00:05:47,166
Listen, she was making out
like I would've locked her in a cupboard
138
00:05:47,250 --> 00:05:48,791
if we carried on dating, yeah.
139
00:05:48,875 --> 00:05:51,832
She's putting all her cultural and family
issues on me just 'cause I'm Brown.
140
00:05:51,916 --> 00:05:53,125
That's racist, isn't it?
141
00:05:53,207 --> 00:05:54,625
Isn't it more racist
to be killing yourself
142
00:05:54,707 --> 00:05:56,666
to play a white neo-colonial MI6 agent?
143
00:05:56,750 --> 00:05:59,916
-If I played him, he wouldn't be white.
-Yeah, but you would be.
144
00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:03,208
Guys, I've got an idea, why don't you go
to my cousin's restaurant across the road?
145
00:06:03,291 --> 00:06:04,291
I think that's better for you.
146
00:06:04,375 --> 00:06:05,750
Don't you want to hear about
how he brought a date
147
00:06:05,833 --> 00:06:08,125
-to my friends and family screening?
-A date?
148
00:06:09,541 --> 00:06:11,916
That was not a date.
She was a work colleague that I brought.
149
00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:13,875
She was shit in your Mango Tree flop.
150
00:06:13,958 --> 00:06:16,291
I guess it wasn't enough
to snog her on screen.
151
00:06:16,375 --> 00:06:18,250
Good for the career to be spotted
out and about with her.
152
00:06:18,332 --> 00:06:20,457
God forbid anything would come
before that.
153
00:06:20,541 --> 00:06:24,457
-Okay, okay. Hadn't we broken up by then?
-Shah, that night was about me, okay?
154
00:06:24,541 --> 00:06:27,332
And also, taking a break
isn't the same as breaking up.
155
00:06:27,416 --> 00:06:29,416
Okay. So then, how exactly
would you define how we--
156
00:06:29,500 --> 00:06:31,332
-Fucking cunt. Fuck!
-What?
157
00:06:32,125 --> 00:06:33,791
I left my bag at the restaurant.
158
00:06:33,875 --> 00:06:35,957
Okay, do you, erm...
Do you have to go back there now?
159
00:06:36,041 --> 00:06:37,916
It has my passport in it
and I'm leaving tomorrow.
160
00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:39,707
-Where you going?
-Fuck. Argentina.
161
00:06:40,207 --> 00:06:42,875
-What? Why are you going to Argentina?
-[Yasmin] Wait!
162
00:06:43,750 --> 00:06:44,875
Someone's taken it.
163
00:06:45,750 --> 00:06:48,041
-Look, my AirPods are moving. Fuck.
-Oh, shit.
164
00:06:48,125 --> 00:06:49,416
-You're not gonna catch that on foot.
-Fuck!
165
00:06:49,500 --> 00:06:51,250
You need a cab, mate. Oh, oh, wait!
166
00:06:51,916 --> 00:06:52,916
Taxi!
167
00:06:53,332 --> 00:06:55,250
[Yasmin groans] I need to get it back!
168
00:06:55,332 --> 00:06:58,416
That's gone.
Listen, can you just let me help?
169
00:06:58,957 --> 00:07:00,125
Just trust me for once.
170
00:07:00,958 --> 00:07:02,666
[sighs] I dunno.
171
00:07:03,125 --> 00:07:04,750
Come on. Come on.
172
00:07:05,583 --> 00:07:07,458
[chuckles] Come on, come on, come on.
173
00:07:07,541 --> 00:07:09,000
-Yeah, yeah, yeah.
-Seriously?
174
00:07:09,083 --> 00:07:11,625
[Shah] Hey, mate?
Listen, can you give us a lift?
175
00:07:11,708 --> 00:07:12,916
-Yeah. Come.
-Okay, yeah?
176
00:07:13,541 --> 00:07:16,000
-How fast does this go?
-Not that fast.
177
00:07:16,082 --> 00:07:19,082
-Faster than walking though, innit?
-Well, yeah. It's a bike.
178
00:07:20,500 --> 00:07:22,791
If you annoy me, I will ditch you.
Understood?
179
00:07:22,875 --> 00:07:24,291
You always say that but you're still here.
180
00:07:24,375 --> 00:07:26,541
Yeah, but I'm leaving
the country tomorrow, aren't I?
181
00:07:26,625 --> 00:07:29,332
Hey, this is an emergency.
Can you follow this dot?
182
00:07:30,332 --> 00:07:32,082
-Yeah.
-All right, aunty, I got you.
183
00:07:32,166 --> 00:07:34,250
Aunty. You're definitely gonna get a tip.
184
00:07:34,332 --> 00:07:36,832
All right, listen, it's gonna be fine.
What's in Argentina?
185
00:07:36,916 --> 00:07:38,332
["Flowers" by Sweet Female Attitude
playing over speaker]
186
00:07:38,416 --> 00:07:40,041
Funding came through for my doc.
187
00:07:40,125 --> 00:07:41,457
-The shipwreck one?
-Mmm-hmm.
188
00:07:42,125 --> 00:07:43,832
Come on. Come on.
189
00:07:45,041 --> 00:07:46,166
I'm proud of you, man.
190
00:07:46,916 --> 00:07:48,125
I don't mean that in a patronising way.
191
00:07:48,207 --> 00:07:50,291
-[Yasmin] It was a little bit patronising.
-[Shah] No, seriously.
192
00:07:50,375 --> 00:07:52,625
I wish there were more documentaries
about shipwrecks.
193
00:07:52,707 --> 00:07:54,791
d Will never, ever let you go d
194
00:07:54,875 --> 00:07:57,750
d I'll bring you flowers
In the pouring rain d
195
00:07:57,832 --> 00:08:01,750
d Living without you
Is driving me insane d
196
00:08:01,833 --> 00:08:04,208
d I'll bring you flowers
I'll make your day... d
197
00:08:04,291 --> 00:08:07,333
Your dad is more, erm, perv than fundo.
198
00:08:08,958 --> 00:08:10,416
I appreciate you saying that.
199
00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:13,208
He would've killed
to have me in your family.
200
00:08:14,375 --> 00:08:16,291
I would've had to kill him.
I'd have to keep pulling him to one side.
201
00:08:16,375 --> 00:08:18,041
-That's true.
-Like, "Dad, what the fuck are you doing?
202
00:08:18,125 --> 00:08:19,125
"Chill out, mate."
203
00:08:20,082 --> 00:08:22,666
d I can't deny that
I would break down and cry... d
204
00:08:22,750 --> 00:08:23,750
How is he?
205
00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:26,250
He's not good.
206
00:08:26,332 --> 00:08:27,916
Nah, it's not, erm...
207
00:08:29,707 --> 00:08:30,750
Yeah, he's not good.
208
00:08:31,166 --> 00:08:34,875
d Because I need you so, whoa, baby d
209
00:08:34,915 --> 00:08:36,915
d And I will never, ever... d
210
00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:38,790
I think my whole family hates me.
211
00:08:39,707 --> 00:08:40,707
They probably do.
212
00:08:41,875 --> 00:08:43,832
[song fades]
213
00:08:43,915 --> 00:08:46,290
["BIPP" by SOPHIE playing over speaker]
214
00:08:47,665 --> 00:08:49,875
d I can make you feel
I can make you feel d
215
00:08:51,500 --> 00:08:52,583
-That's mad.
-Shut up!
216
00:08:52,708 --> 00:08:53,875
d I can make you feel d
217
00:08:55,915 --> 00:08:58,040
-[laughs]
-That is... Come on, that's crazy.
218
00:08:59,208 --> 00:09:02,458
-Of all the tunes.
-That's wild. [laughs]
219
00:09:02,958 --> 00:09:05,375
[both laughing]
220
00:09:06,291 --> 00:09:07,541
Mate, can you turn it up?
221
00:09:09,333 --> 00:09:10,875
[with accent]
Beta, turn it up for your aunty!
222
00:09:10,958 --> 00:09:12,416
[with accent]
Uncle and aunty wanna go raving!
223
00:09:12,583 --> 00:09:13,625
[music volume increases]
224
00:09:13,791 --> 00:09:15,541
d I can make it all clearer d
225
00:09:18,625 --> 00:09:22,333
d Don't pretend you know
That you feel it d
226
00:09:22,416 --> 00:09:26,375
d Try so hard
Baby, you can't conceal it d
227
00:09:26,458 --> 00:09:28,958
d Whatever you feel inside d
228
00:09:29,041 --> 00:09:30,375
d I can make you feel... d
229
00:09:30,458 --> 00:09:32,625
-[normal voice] Is it here?
-[driver] Somewhere round here.
230
00:09:32,708 --> 00:09:35,040
-Maybe it's in the diner over there.
-In there?
231
00:09:35,125 --> 00:09:36,125
Dunno.
232
00:09:37,708 --> 00:09:38,958
-[device beeps]
-Thanks.
233
00:09:39,583 --> 00:09:42,415
-Here. Ten percent off your next ride.
-Leaving tomorrow.
234
00:09:42,500 --> 00:09:44,583
-When you get back then.
-Not coming back.
235
00:09:44,665 --> 00:09:46,665
-What do you mean you're not coming back?
-It doesn't matter.
236
00:09:47,375 --> 00:09:50,208
-What's she mean by that?
-Ket, Mandy, Charlie?
237
00:09:50,290 --> 00:09:52,125
No, man! Nice one.
238
00:09:54,875 --> 00:09:58,583
-What do you mean you're not coming back?
-Shah. It's here.
239
00:10:01,125 --> 00:10:02,500
-Okay.
-Okay.
240
00:10:02,583 --> 00:10:03,916
Erm, yeah.
241
00:10:04,458 --> 00:10:06,375
Is that down there on the left? Yeah.
242
00:10:06,458 --> 00:10:08,791
Hurry up!
It takes weeks to get a new passport.
243
00:10:08,875 --> 00:10:10,083
Don't worry, we're gonna get it.
244
00:10:10,166 --> 00:10:11,583
-[Yasmin] Wait, I think it's--
-[Shah] Is it here?
245
00:10:12,250 --> 00:10:14,250
-It's like behind--
-It's this one, here.
246
00:10:14,333 --> 00:10:16,458
[muffled party music playing]
247
00:10:19,250 --> 00:10:20,250
Hi!
248
00:10:20,958 --> 00:10:23,083
Hi! Welcome to The Glow Up.
249
00:10:23,750 --> 00:10:24,875
Twenty-five a head.
250
00:10:24,958 --> 00:10:29,083
Oh, I'd like to pay, please.
But I don't have my wallet or phone so...
251
00:10:30,083 --> 00:10:32,290
How has this become
an expensive date for me?
252
00:10:36,250 --> 00:10:39,250
-[mobile phone beeps]
-[woman] And here are your goodie bags.
253
00:10:40,290 --> 00:10:41,625
Down the corridor, on the right.
254
00:10:41,708 --> 00:10:42,875
-Thank you.
-Okay...
255
00:10:42,958 --> 00:10:45,625
Goodie bags, okay.
So what are we looking for exactly?
256
00:10:45,708 --> 00:10:46,708
Er, it's a bum bag.
257
00:10:46,790 --> 00:10:48,583
[Shah] Okay, what kind of bum bag?
258
00:10:48,665 --> 00:10:50,625
-[Yasmin] Just a bag.
-[Shah] All right.
259
00:10:50,708 --> 00:10:53,000
[Yasmin] Neon. Pink and yellow.
260
00:10:53,083 --> 00:10:55,375
-Wait, is this the one that I got you?
-Yeah.
261
00:10:55,458 --> 00:10:57,915
-Aw...
-All right, relax.
262
00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:00,041
What? No, it shouldn't be too hard
to find, right?
263
00:11:00,125 --> 00:11:01,750
Yeah, it's convenient.
It's a useful size bag.
264
00:11:01,833 --> 00:11:02,833
Okay, okay.
265
00:11:03,916 --> 00:11:07,416
-[unsettling music playing]
-[Yasmin, distorted] Shah? Shah?
266
00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:10,500
[unsettling music stops,
party music continues]
267
00:11:12,083 --> 00:11:15,458
-[normal voice] It might be a bit tricky.
-[Shah chuckles] Oh, shit!
268
00:11:15,541 --> 00:11:16,750
-[music grows louder]
-Erm...
269
00:11:16,833 --> 00:11:18,250
[Yasmin] We're never gonna find
my bag in here!
270
00:11:18,333 --> 00:11:20,250
Whoa! Aren't you forgetting something?
271
00:11:21,041 --> 00:11:23,500
-[Shah] Sorry, what?
-Check your goodie bag, mate.
272
00:11:23,583 --> 00:11:25,708
Can't let you on the dance floor
like that.
273
00:11:27,166 --> 00:11:28,750
Oh, with the... paint.
274
00:11:29,583 --> 00:11:32,040
All right, er, fuck it.
275
00:11:33,500 --> 00:11:35,415
Erm, I'm not really--
I'm shit at this kind of--
276
00:11:35,540 --> 00:11:36,625
Sit down. I'll do it.
277
00:11:40,708 --> 00:11:42,665
[Shah] Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait. Be nice.
278
00:11:43,540 --> 00:11:45,415
-Be nice.
-When am I not nice?
279
00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:51,000
As much as you want to, erm, humiliate me,
280
00:11:51,875 --> 00:11:53,790
just remember whose passport
we're looking for, okay?
281
00:11:53,875 --> 00:11:56,165
-Don't rush the artist, please.
-Ah.
282
00:11:57,790 --> 00:11:58,790
Sorry.
283
00:12:01,500 --> 00:12:02,875
Or look into her soul.
284
00:12:07,333 --> 00:12:09,083
Why'd you get rid of the nose ring?
285
00:12:10,041 --> 00:12:11,625
Erm... I dunno.
286
00:12:11,708 --> 00:12:13,583
You look so much fitter
with that nose ring, man.
287
00:12:13,666 --> 00:12:14,666
-[chuckles]
-What?
288
00:12:14,750 --> 00:12:15,958
-Fuck you.
-What? I'm just saying.
289
00:12:16,041 --> 00:12:19,250
It took the attention away
from that cold dead look in your eyes.
290
00:12:19,791 --> 00:12:23,416
Probably around the same time as you,
erm, started losing half your hair.
291
00:12:23,500 --> 00:12:26,541
Do you know, erm, thinning hair
is linked to high levels of testosterone.
292
00:12:26,625 --> 00:12:27,875
-It's 'cause I'm manly.
-I know that you're broke,
293
00:12:27,958 --> 00:12:29,916
so if you need some money
for a hair transplant in Turkey,
294
00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:31,458
-you just let me know.
-No, I'm fine.
295
00:12:31,541 --> 00:12:34,625
I just take all my self-loathing
and I rub it on my scalp every day.
296
00:12:34,708 --> 00:12:36,375
But thanks for topping me up
on self-loathing.
297
00:12:36,458 --> 00:12:38,500
Next time I see you...
Next time I see you,
298
00:12:38,583 --> 00:12:41,208
you're gonna have shaved your head
and you're gonna tell me it's for a role.
299
00:12:41,290 --> 00:12:44,375
[chuckles] Or 'cause I'm gonna have
a really secret sad illness,
300
00:12:44,458 --> 00:12:45,500
and you'll be so upset about
301
00:12:45,583 --> 00:12:47,040
-all the time we didn't spend together...
-[chuckles]
302
00:12:47,125 --> 00:12:48,125
...now that I'm dead.
303
00:12:48,208 --> 00:12:50,125
-Yeah? Death guilting?
-Yeah. Yeah.
304
00:12:50,208 --> 00:12:52,540
-That's a straight up aunty move.
-It is.
305
00:12:52,625 --> 00:12:55,583
-Sorry, did that trigger you?
-Sorry, does that turn you on?
306
00:12:55,665 --> 00:12:56,665
-Massively.
-I know.
307
00:12:56,750 --> 00:12:57,833
Yeah. Aunty, my turn.
308
00:12:57,915 --> 00:12:59,915
["DhinDhinDha" by BombayMami playing]
309
00:13:05,208 --> 00:13:06,916
d If your mama only knew d
310
00:13:08,791 --> 00:13:10,875
d If your mama only knew d
311
00:13:12,500 --> 00:13:15,166
d If your baba only knew d
312
00:13:15,250 --> 00:13:18,375
d Only knew, only knew d
313
00:13:20,458 --> 00:13:22,250
-Any luck?
-Nah.
314
00:13:23,916 --> 00:13:25,166
[Shah] Let me check here.
315
00:13:48,708 --> 00:13:49,708
[man] Hey.
316
00:13:49,790 --> 00:13:51,458
d If your mama only knew d
317
00:13:53,375 --> 00:13:55,165
d If your mama only knew d
318
00:13:57,083 --> 00:13:59,458
d If your baba only knew d
319
00:13:59,540 --> 00:14:02,750
d Only knew, only knew d
320
00:14:03,416 --> 00:14:04,541
You having fun?
321
00:14:05,625 --> 00:14:07,500
Yeah, I am, actually. I'm having fun.
322
00:14:08,208 --> 00:14:10,125
-Meant to be looking for a bag.
-Yeah, I'm looking as well.
323
00:14:10,208 --> 00:14:12,541
-All right.
-I'm always looking, don't worry.
324
00:14:12,625 --> 00:14:14,541
d Only knew d
325
00:14:17,333 --> 00:14:19,375
-Actually not a bad Eid in the end.
-Not the worst.
326
00:14:19,458 --> 00:14:20,541
You know what I mean.
327
00:14:23,416 --> 00:14:25,583
What you looking at me for?
I don't have it.
328
00:14:31,958 --> 00:14:34,583
[music distorts]
329
00:14:34,665 --> 00:14:36,790
[unsettling music playing]
330
00:14:36,875 --> 00:14:38,208
Line?
331
00:14:38,290 --> 00:14:39,333
[grunts]
332
00:14:39,415 --> 00:14:40,458
[Tahira] Shaju!
333
00:14:40,540 --> 00:14:41,750
[music intensifies, then stops]
334
00:14:41,833 --> 00:14:45,000
-[Yasmin] Shah?
-[party music continues]
335
00:14:46,958 --> 00:14:48,708
I'm gonna go to the bathroom, yeah?
336
00:15:00,125 --> 00:15:01,833
[muffled music playing in distance]
337
00:15:01,916 --> 00:15:05,041
[unsettling music builds up]
338
00:15:05,125 --> 00:15:06,666
-[Sid] Sold out!
-...fuck out--
339
00:15:06,750 --> 00:15:07,750
Mate--
340
00:15:09,250 --> 00:15:12,083
[breathing heavily]
341
00:15:16,708 --> 00:15:19,625
[Pigtrick Stewart]
You don't have the balls to be Bond.
342
00:15:19,708 --> 00:15:21,833
-[Q] Are you fucking mad?
-[skinhead] Paki.
343
00:15:21,916 --> 00:15:24,541
[Sid] Man's sold out!
You should be out here with us!
344
00:15:24,625 --> 00:15:26,000
[Q] Don't listen to him,
he's lost the fucking plot.
345
00:15:26,083 --> 00:15:27,625
[Shah] I'm not the first family member
to lose my mind!
346
00:15:27,708 --> 00:15:28,875
-[Q] Oi! Enough!
-[Zulfi] ...fucking mouth!
347
00:15:28,958 --> 00:15:30,208
-[Tahira] Shaju!
-[Zulfi] Get the fuck out of here
348
00:15:30,291 --> 00:15:31,291
before I spark you!
349
00:15:31,375 --> 00:15:32,540
[unsettling music stops,
party music continues]
350
00:15:32,625 --> 00:15:34,083
[tap running]
351
00:15:36,250 --> 00:15:37,250
[sighs]
352
00:15:39,665 --> 00:15:40,665
[sighs]
353
00:15:48,500 --> 00:15:49,500
[gasps]
354
00:15:50,915 --> 00:15:52,040
Oh, man.
355
00:15:54,458 --> 00:15:55,458
[chuckles]
356
00:15:56,833 --> 00:15:57,958
[zip opens]
357
00:15:59,208 --> 00:16:02,541
d We feelin' okay, we feelin' okay d
358
00:16:02,625 --> 00:16:05,500
d We feelin' okay, we feelin' okay d
359
00:16:05,583 --> 00:16:08,083
[mobile phone tapping]
360
00:16:08,166 --> 00:16:09,833
d We feelin' okay d
361
00:16:09,916 --> 00:16:13,375
d We feelin' okay, we feelin' okay d
362
00:16:13,458 --> 00:16:16,666
d We feelin' okay, we feelin' okay d
363
00:16:16,750 --> 00:16:19,750
[tense music playing]
364
00:16:22,458 --> 00:16:25,458
["Bollywood Bass" by AKDM playing]
365
00:16:26,250 --> 00:16:27,250
Hey.
366
00:16:28,541 --> 00:16:29,541
Hey.
367
00:16:33,833 --> 00:16:34,833
Shall we find it?
368
00:16:44,708 --> 00:16:46,875
Yeah, I just wanna say, what you're doing,
369
00:16:46,958 --> 00:16:49,208
moving halfway across the world
on your own...
370
00:16:50,750 --> 00:16:52,708
It's amazing. You're fearless.
371
00:16:52,790 --> 00:16:55,375
-I've always admired that about you.
-Thanks.
372
00:17:01,416 --> 00:17:02,666
So, where you gonna live?
373
00:17:03,708 --> 00:17:05,125
-Erm...
-A flat or something?
374
00:17:05,208 --> 00:17:07,875
-Yeah, I found a place near the offices.
-Okay, great.
375
00:17:07,958 --> 00:17:08,958
Yeah.
376
00:17:10,333 --> 00:17:12,040
Is it, like, a good neighbourhood?
377
00:17:12,125 --> 00:17:13,833
I'm just saying,
a woman out there on her own...
378
00:17:15,040 --> 00:17:16,790
-I can take care of myself.
-I know, I know, I know.
379
00:17:16,875 --> 00:17:18,290
But your Spanish is kinda shit,
380
00:17:18,375 --> 00:17:19,790
so you're gonna need someone
to translate--
381
00:17:19,875 --> 00:17:22,500
-Mate, what are you doing?
-What am I doing?
382
00:17:22,583 --> 00:17:26,000
I'm looking for your passports
and I'm having a little bit of a rave.
383
00:17:26,915 --> 00:17:27,915
What?
384
00:17:28,375 --> 00:17:29,708
Found the bag, didn't you?
385
00:17:31,875 --> 00:17:32,875
No.
386
00:17:34,833 --> 00:17:36,875
-What?
-Yeah, you did, you psycho.
387
00:17:37,916 --> 00:17:38,916
What are you talking about?
388
00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:41,125
You just said "passports"
with a fucking S.
389
00:17:41,208 --> 00:17:44,625
-Where are they? Where are they?
-Fine! Fine! Fine!
390
00:17:44,708 --> 00:17:45,708
Fucking...
391
00:17:46,666 --> 00:17:48,250
Oliver Winthrop?
392
00:17:48,333 --> 00:17:51,333
Fucking Winthrop, man.
And I'm the one trying to be white?
393
00:17:51,416 --> 00:17:52,583
-Yeah, okay--
-Now then, leave me the bag.
394
00:17:52,666 --> 00:17:54,375
-I'll put it in the bin.
-Fuck off!
395
00:18:11,791 --> 00:18:12,791
[Shah] Hey.
396
00:18:13,625 --> 00:18:15,083
Hey. Hey!
397
00:18:15,166 --> 00:18:17,208
-Hey, why did you lie to me?
-[Yasmin] I didn't fucking lie to you.
398
00:18:17,291 --> 00:18:18,583
[Shah] Well, you didn't tell me
you got a boyfriend.
399
00:18:18,666 --> 00:18:20,000
Why do you think I'm here?
400
00:18:20,083 --> 00:18:22,291
You're the one that lied
about the passports!
401
00:18:22,375 --> 00:18:24,458
Okay, all right then. I'll be honest now.
402
00:18:24,541 --> 00:18:26,750
I am not here
for your fucking article, okay?
403
00:18:26,833 --> 00:18:29,000
I'm here for you. Look, I'm here for you.
404
00:18:30,041 --> 00:18:31,166
Because I miss you.
405
00:18:32,208 --> 00:18:33,208
I miss us.
406
00:18:34,375 --> 00:18:35,375
Okay?
407
00:18:36,625 --> 00:18:37,625
I'll admit that.
408
00:18:38,291 --> 00:18:42,625
Now, can you admit,
if it's really all done between us,
409
00:18:42,708 --> 00:18:44,375
it's a little bit weird
that you didn't wanna tell me
410
00:18:44,458 --> 00:18:46,416
-about your boyfriend of what, how long--
-A year.
411
00:18:46,500 --> 00:18:47,541
-Oh, a year?
-Mmm-hmm.
412
00:18:47,625 --> 00:18:50,208
That you're moving
to another country with tomorrow?
413
00:18:50,291 --> 00:18:52,041
-Yeah, okay--
-I mean, there's something--
414
00:18:52,125 --> 00:18:53,541
I've got cold feet.
415
00:18:54,125 --> 00:18:55,708
This is a fucking big decision.
416
00:18:55,791 --> 00:18:58,208
-Okay, so you got cold feet. Okay.
-Yeah, okay.
417
00:18:58,291 --> 00:19:01,000
But, I didn't wanna see him
on my last night in London
418
00:19:01,083 --> 00:19:04,000
and I'm out here running around with you.
Why is that?
419
00:19:04,083 --> 00:19:06,666
Hmm? But he's fucking great.
420
00:19:06,750 --> 00:19:10,458
He's really great and he loves me.
And he's reliable and he's there for me.
421
00:19:12,041 --> 00:19:13,041
So, I dunno.
422
00:19:13,708 --> 00:19:14,708
I dunno.
423
00:19:25,416 --> 00:19:27,375
-Do you wanna know what it's like?
-Mmm.
424
00:19:29,958 --> 00:19:31,250
Doing the dirty work?
425
00:19:33,750 --> 00:19:36,833
-Fighting everybody and being a nobody?
-Mmm.
426
00:19:39,208 --> 00:19:40,208
I...
427
00:19:41,500 --> 00:19:42,875
I don't live with myself.
428
00:19:43,875 --> 00:19:47,583
I live with whoever they need me to be.
429
00:19:51,291 --> 00:19:52,958
And if I don't know who I am,
430
00:19:53,041 --> 00:19:55,625
it's because I feel like
maybe you don't wanna know.
431
00:19:58,875 --> 00:19:59,875
Are you acting?
432
00:20:02,625 --> 00:20:04,916
-No.
-Looks like... lines.
433
00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:07,250
They are lines but the feeling is honest.
434
00:20:11,291 --> 00:20:12,291
You're insane.
435
00:20:21,625 --> 00:20:22,791
[Shah] Please don't go.
436
00:20:28,500 --> 00:20:30,041
Take care, okay?
437
00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:52,000
["Jasmine" by Jai Paul playing]
438
00:21:09,208 --> 00:21:10,208
[sighs]
439
00:21:13,500 --> 00:21:14,500
[sniffles]
440
00:21:16,500 --> 00:21:18,083
d Are you with me, Jasmine? d
441
00:21:19,083 --> 00:21:20,375
d Can you let me in? d
442
00:21:21,833 --> 00:21:26,208
d Would you knock me over?
Like a bottle of gin? d
443
00:21:29,041 --> 00:21:30,041
d Jasmine d
444
00:21:34,375 --> 00:21:35,375
d Jasmine d
445
00:21:38,083 --> 00:21:40,416
d When I see you, Jasmine d
446
00:21:40,500 --> 00:21:43,208
d What's a boy to do? d
447
00:21:43,291 --> 00:21:45,458
d Please come back to me and d
448
00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:48,625
d Make my dream come true d
449
00:21:48,708 --> 00:21:51,375
d 'Cause when it comes to heartbreak d
450
00:21:51,458 --> 00:21:53,958
d What's a little girl like you know? d
451
00:21:54,041 --> 00:21:56,625
d Melt my heart of stone and d
452
00:21:56,708 --> 00:21:58,791
d Make my dream come true d
453
00:22:01,083 --> 00:22:04,958
d Jasmine, yeah d
454
00:22:06,500 --> 00:22:07,500
d Jasmine d
455
00:22:10,500 --> 00:22:14,500
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