All language subtitles for Taskmaster - s18e02 - ...And Then a Detective Comes In

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,560 --> 00:00:04,120 HE SIGHS WEARILY 2 00:00:04,200 --> 00:00:05,320 SHE SQUEALS, HE GROANS 3 00:00:05,400 --> 00:00:07,400 LOUD THUNK 4 00:00:07,800 --> 00:00:09,800 Oh... Whoo! 5 00:00:11,040 --> 00:00:12,480 SHE LAUGHS 6 00:00:12,560 --> 00:00:14,560 EXPLOSION, SHE SCREAMS 7 00:00:15,440 --> 00:00:16,400 ROBOT TRILLS 8 00:00:16,480 --> 00:00:17,720 Oh, you're useless at this. 9 00:00:17,800 --> 00:00:19,400 TYPEWRITER DINGS 10 00:00:19,480 --> 00:00:20,520 HE SQUEALS 11 00:00:20,600 --> 00:00:21,720 Prrp! Ooh! 12 00:00:21,800 --> 00:00:23,920 Ahh! 13 00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:26,080 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 14 00:00:33,800 --> 00:00:37,520 Hello! Welcome to Taskmaster. 15 00:00:37,600 --> 00:00:41,000 Five comedians, naked as the day they were born, 16 00:00:41,080 --> 00:00:44,280 fighting to the death using primitive weapons. 17 00:00:44,360 --> 00:00:47,200 Sure, we've had to tweak the original format, 18 00:00:47,280 --> 00:00:49,080 but it'll still be fun. LAUGHTER 19 00:00:49,160 --> 00:00:51,480 Let's welcome our warriors once again - 20 00:00:51,560 --> 00:00:54,640 Andy Zaltzman... CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 21 00:00:54,720 --> 00:00:57,560 ..Babatunde Aleshe... CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 22 00:00:57,640 --> 00:01:00,280 ..Emma Sidi... CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 23 00:01:00,360 --> 00:01:01,960 ..Jack Dee... CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 24 00:01:02,040 --> 00:01:04,120 ..and Rosie Jones. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 25 00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:09,320 And next to me, a man who doesn't know 26 00:01:09,400 --> 00:01:13,200 what colour his bedroom walls are because he's put so many posters 27 00:01:13,280 --> 00:01:16,160 of Howard from Take That on them. LAUGHTER 28 00:01:16,240 --> 00:01:18,160 IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE: It's Little Alex Horne! 29 00:01:18,240 --> 00:01:22,280 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Don't deny it. Thank you. Yeah. 30 00:01:24,440 --> 00:01:25,920 Are you ready for a viewer's favourite? 31 00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:27,560 It's Horne's Hot List! 32 00:01:27,640 --> 00:01:29,920 JINGLE PLAYS VOICEOVER: Horne's Hot List. 33 00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:31,000 LAUGHTER 34 00:01:31,080 --> 00:01:32,040 This is when I, Horne, 35 00:01:32,120 --> 00:01:34,080 say what's hot and what's not hot right now. 36 00:01:34,160 --> 00:01:35,920 Hot, sweatbands. 37 00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:38,120 These guys are great. LAUGHTER 38 00:01:38,200 --> 00:01:40,000 Not hot, jeans. Come on, guys. 39 00:01:40,080 --> 00:01:42,640 It's not 1969 anymore. LAUGHTER 40 00:01:42,720 --> 00:01:44,400 That was Horne's Hot List. 41 00:01:44,480 --> 00:01:46,880 JINGLE PLAYS VOICEOVER: Horne's Hot List. 42 00:01:46,960 --> 00:01:48,040 LAUGHTER 43 00:01:48,120 --> 00:01:50,680 They're very, very itchy so I'm going to take them off. 44 00:01:50,760 --> 00:01:52,160 Well, they've done their job, haven't they? 45 00:01:52,240 --> 00:01:54,400 Yeah, we got everyone going. They've created a great atmosphere. 46 00:01:54,480 --> 00:01:55,680 LAUGHTER 47 00:01:55,760 --> 00:01:57,200 It's Prize Task time. 48 00:01:57,280 --> 00:02:00,600 Oh, yes. AKA, the actual start of the show. 49 00:02:00,680 --> 00:02:01,640 Mm-hm. 50 00:02:01,720 --> 00:02:03,400 Too right. We're creatures of habit, aren't we? 51 00:02:03,480 --> 00:02:04,520 Like nuns, or something. 52 00:02:04,600 --> 00:02:06,960 And the category this week is... LAUGHTER 53 00:02:07,040 --> 00:02:10,880 The category is the most serious object that looks quite silly. 54 00:02:10,960 --> 00:02:12,320 Poor old Greg has to judge them 55 00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:14,680 and give five points to his favourite serious object 56 00:02:14,760 --> 00:02:16,800 that looks quite silly, and at the end of the episode, 57 00:02:16,880 --> 00:02:19,280 the overall winner will take home five seriously silly things. 58 00:02:19,360 --> 00:02:20,400 Back to you, Greg. 59 00:02:20,480 --> 00:02:22,400 Right. Baba, hello. 60 00:02:22,480 --> 00:02:24,920 Hey. We're going to start with you this week. OK. 61 00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:26,720 You all right? I'm good. BABATUNDE GIGGLES NERVOUSLY 62 00:02:26,800 --> 00:02:29,240 LAUGHTER 63 00:02:29,320 --> 00:02:31,040 You've brought a serious thing that's also silly. 64 00:02:31,120 --> 00:02:32,200 Yes, I have. 65 00:02:32,280 --> 00:02:35,080 This is what he's brought in. A serious thing that looks silly. 66 00:02:35,160 --> 00:02:36,320 LAUGHTER 67 00:02:36,400 --> 00:02:38,080 I mean, come on now. Look at that. 68 00:02:38,160 --> 00:02:40,360 Like, back in the day when they used...the Vikings 69 00:02:40,440 --> 00:02:41,840 and they'd be going to, like, 70 00:02:41,920 --> 00:02:43,680 their little battles with their axes and stuff, 71 00:02:43,760 --> 00:02:44,840 if you showed up... 72 00:02:44,920 --> 00:02:45,920 All right, bear with me here. 73 00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:47,360 HE LAUGHS It's just a shit... 74 00:02:47,440 --> 00:02:49,040 LAUGHTER 75 00:02:49,120 --> 00:02:51,000 It's just a shit fancy dress helmet. 76 00:02:51,080 --> 00:02:53,320 If you showed up in Tottenham with a Viking hat, 77 00:02:53,400 --> 00:02:54,560 we'd kick your arse! 78 00:02:54,640 --> 00:02:55,600 LAUGHTER 79 00:02:55,680 --> 00:02:56,800 HE LAUGHS 80 00:02:56,880 --> 00:02:59,240 OK. Well, it's not on my bucket list. 81 00:02:59,320 --> 00:03:00,360 LAUGHTER 82 00:03:00,440 --> 00:03:01,760 Emma, what have you brought in? 83 00:03:01,840 --> 00:03:03,520 A Comic Sans clock. 84 00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:04,880 Here it is. 85 00:03:04,960 --> 00:03:07,600 LAUGHTER 86 00:03:07,680 --> 00:03:09,560 You know, you only have so much time, 87 00:03:09,640 --> 00:03:10,800 we're against the clock. 88 00:03:10,880 --> 00:03:13,240 I just think it's reasonably serious. Oh, in terms of life. 89 00:03:13,320 --> 00:03:14,800 Yes. That's serious. Right. 90 00:03:14,880 --> 00:03:16,080 Yeah. 91 00:03:16,160 --> 00:03:18,240 Comic Sans, that's a bit silly. 92 00:03:18,320 --> 00:03:19,560 LAUGHTER 93 00:03:19,640 --> 00:03:22,200 I just don't know why you need to add "is my daddy". 94 00:03:22,280 --> 00:03:23,600 LAUGHTER 95 00:03:23,680 --> 00:03:27,200 That's a little bit more silly, isn't it? Don't you think? 96 00:03:27,280 --> 00:03:30,040 Yeah. I'd say that's more serious, to be honest. That's... 97 00:03:30,120 --> 00:03:31,800 LAUGHTER 98 00:03:31,880 --> 00:03:34,240 I'll have to reflect on it, Emma. Thank you. OK. 99 00:03:34,320 --> 00:03:36,640 Andy. Yes? Who's your daddy? 100 00:03:36,720 --> 00:03:38,760 LAUGHTER 101 00:03:38,840 --> 00:03:43,000 Uh, well, what I've brought in, Greg, is an effigy 102 00:03:43,080 --> 00:03:46,080 of the Gunpowder Plot celeb, Guy Fawkes. 103 00:03:46,160 --> 00:03:48,160 LAUGHTER 104 00:03:50,200 --> 00:03:51,160 Who was Guy Fawkes? 105 00:03:51,240 --> 00:03:52,920 Guy Fawkes was someone who tried to blow up parliament. 106 00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:54,480 Do you know how he was executed, Greg? 107 00:03:54,560 --> 00:03:56,160 I do. I've been in the room it happened in. 108 00:03:56,240 --> 00:03:57,720 No, I think it happened outside, didn't it? 109 00:03:57,800 --> 00:03:58,960 Oh, the execution. Yes. 110 00:03:59,040 --> 00:04:01,560 Sorry, I...I've been... I've been in the room where he was tortured. 111 00:04:01,640 --> 00:04:03,800 Oh, right. OK. LAUGHTER 112 00:04:03,880 --> 00:04:08,760 So, basically, we're...we're dealing with the brutality of humanity... 113 00:04:08,840 --> 00:04:11,320 Yeah. ..and we've turned it into something fun for the kids 114 00:04:11,400 --> 00:04:12,440 to do on the 5th of November. 115 00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:14,480 Very good. Hello, Jack. 116 00:04:14,560 --> 00:04:17,440 Hello. You all right? Yeah. You? 117 00:04:17,520 --> 00:04:19,280 Yes, I'm good. 118 00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:20,480 Enough of the small talk. 119 00:04:20,560 --> 00:04:22,040 LAUGHTER 120 00:04:22,120 --> 00:04:24,120 What silly and serious thing have you brought in? 121 00:04:24,200 --> 00:04:25,400 Uh, I've brought in, uh, 122 00:04:25,480 --> 00:04:28,080 something which is serious but I think it looks silly. 123 00:04:28,160 --> 00:04:29,640 It's an abseiling harness. 124 00:04:29,720 --> 00:04:32,080 LAUGHTER 125 00:04:32,160 --> 00:04:35,640 So, you know when you see people, like, climbing 126 00:04:35,720 --> 00:04:37,280 and they think they're clever, 127 00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:41,000 but I don't cos they're wearing one of those, and it looks silly. 128 00:04:41,080 --> 00:04:42,160 It looks like it's... 129 00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:44,680 I don't know whether they think they're clever, do they? 130 00:04:44,760 --> 00:04:47,000 It looks like a sort of exoskeletal nappy. 131 00:04:47,080 --> 00:04:48,440 LAUGHTER 132 00:04:48,520 --> 00:04:50,800 But it is serious cos you need to wear one 133 00:04:50,880 --> 00:04:52,560 cos it'll hold you if you fall... Mm. 134 00:04:52,640 --> 00:04:56,080 ..and that's why I think people who wear them think they're clever. 135 00:04:56,160 --> 00:04:57,200 LAUGHTER 136 00:04:57,280 --> 00:04:58,680 And... And they're not, 137 00:04:58,760 --> 00:05:00,440 and I think we should discuss that more. 138 00:05:00,520 --> 00:05:01,480 LAUGHTER 139 00:05:01,560 --> 00:05:02,680 And are you suggesting 140 00:05:02,760 --> 00:05:04,480 that people shouldn't wear safety harnesses? 141 00:05:04,560 --> 00:05:06,760 Yeah. Thanks, Jack. All right. 142 00:05:06,840 --> 00:05:07,880 LAUGHTER 143 00:05:07,960 --> 00:05:09,200 Hello. Hello. 144 00:05:09,280 --> 00:05:10,520 You all right? 145 00:05:10,600 --> 00:05:14,440 Yeah. How are you? Yeah, not too bad. Yeah. Good. 146 00:05:14,520 --> 00:05:15,920 All right, then. 147 00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:17,280 OK. 148 00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:23,720 So, I've brought in my own coffin. 149 00:05:23,800 --> 00:05:26,160 LAUGHTER 150 00:05:26,240 --> 00:05:28,880 APPLAUSE 151 00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:37,600 Won't that be lovely? 152 00:05:37,680 --> 00:05:40,560 Everyone crying... 153 00:05:40,640 --> 00:05:44,640 Yeah. ..paying their respects. 154 00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:46,120 Bending down... 155 00:05:46,200 --> 00:05:47,400 Ah-uh! 156 00:05:47,480 --> 00:05:49,600 LAUGHTER 157 00:05:49,680 --> 00:05:50,880 Any questions? 158 00:05:50,960 --> 00:05:53,520 No. No. LAUGHTER 159 00:05:53,600 --> 00:05:56,480 It's difficult, because I still don't really understand 160 00:05:56,560 --> 00:05:58,280 the "Comic Sans is my daddy". 161 00:05:58,360 --> 00:06:00,560 Oh, well, that's just silly as well. You know, it's cheeky. 162 00:06:00,640 --> 00:06:03,320 Cheeky. Yeah, it's cheeky. No, it is cheeky. Yeah. 163 00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:05,520 It's got two levels of cheeky. Baba's has only got one. 164 00:06:05,600 --> 00:06:07,680 I'll give Baba one point. One to Baba. 165 00:06:07,760 --> 00:06:10,760 I'll give Emma two points. Yes. The clock gets two. 166 00:06:10,840 --> 00:06:12,160 I'll give Jack Dee three points. 167 00:06:12,240 --> 00:06:13,920 Safety equipment does look ridiculous. 168 00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:15,640 And then we're up to the big guns, 169 00:06:15,720 --> 00:06:18,280 Guy Fawkes or "Honk if you miss me". 170 00:06:18,360 --> 00:06:19,920 LAUGHTER 171 00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:21,120 You did try to... 172 00:06:21,200 --> 00:06:23,240 Guy Fawkes has had his day. He can have four points. 173 00:06:23,320 --> 00:06:27,040 Right. And, uh, of course, I will be honking if I miss Rosie Jones. 174 00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:31,000 Five points to Rosie. There we go. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 175 00:06:33,800 --> 00:06:36,680 OK, what's the first task proper, please, Alex? 176 00:06:36,760 --> 00:06:39,040 Well, it's something we haven't done before, Greg, 177 00:06:39,120 --> 00:06:42,080 and there are big points at stake. GREG GASPS 178 00:06:52,200 --> 00:06:54,160 Oh. Hi, Jack. 179 00:06:54,240 --> 00:06:56,760 Hi, Alex. What... What are you wearing? 180 00:06:56,840 --> 00:06:57,800 Oh, this old thing? 181 00:06:57,880 --> 00:06:59,040 JACK LAUGHS 182 00:06:59,120 --> 00:07:00,640 Welcome. 183 00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:01,840 Hey. 184 00:07:01,920 --> 00:07:03,560 HE LAUGHS 185 00:07:03,640 --> 00:07:06,240 Oh. Ooh! Hi. Emma. 186 00:07:06,320 --> 00:07:09,560 Yes, hi. You all right? Yeah. How are you? 187 00:07:09,640 --> 00:07:12,280 I'm feeling good, I'm looking great. Great. 188 00:07:15,400 --> 00:07:17,400 LAUGHTER 189 00:07:18,240 --> 00:07:19,560 Hello, Andy. 190 00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:21,040 Oh, hi, Alex. 191 00:07:21,120 --> 00:07:27,000 What life choices brought you here? 192 00:07:27,080 --> 00:07:28,360 LAUGHTER 193 00:07:28,440 --> 00:07:30,400 I'll have to trace them all the way back, I think. 194 00:07:30,480 --> 00:07:31,640 Yeah. Yeah. 195 00:07:31,720 --> 00:07:33,120 Parents. 196 00:07:33,200 --> 00:07:34,760 LAUGHTER 197 00:07:34,840 --> 00:07:37,480 I think it's amazing. I've never seen it before. 198 00:07:37,560 --> 00:07:39,120 Christmas? No. 199 00:07:39,200 --> 00:07:40,960 Weddings? No. 200 00:07:41,040 --> 00:07:43,120 OK. The postman's come. 201 00:07:44,480 --> 00:07:46,480 Right. Um... 202 00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:48,480 All right. 203 00:07:48,560 --> 00:07:51,400 "Wear this outfit..." 204 00:07:51,480 --> 00:07:54,320 "..throughout one future task..." This outfit? 205 00:07:54,400 --> 00:07:58,440 This outfit. This outfit? Oh, Jesus Christ. 206 00:07:58,520 --> 00:08:00,240 "..and your points will be doubled." 207 00:08:00,320 --> 00:08:02,000 "..Doubled..." "..Doubled..." 208 00:08:02,080 --> 00:08:04,880 "..for that task." OK. 209 00:08:04,960 --> 00:08:09,280 "You have until your time in Taskmaster is over." 210 00:08:09,360 --> 00:08:12,560 Is there a right answer? 211 00:08:12,640 --> 00:08:14,280 The right answer is you've got to wear it 212 00:08:14,360 --> 00:08:15,800 for a task that you do well in 213 00:08:15,880 --> 00:08:17,200 so that you can double your... your points. 214 00:08:17,280 --> 00:08:18,400 SHE GASPS 215 00:08:18,480 --> 00:08:20,680 So, Andy, you won't know what the task is going to be. 216 00:08:20,760 --> 00:08:23,280 You have to decide before a task takes place 217 00:08:23,360 --> 00:08:25,520 that you want to wear this outfit. Right, OK. 218 00:08:25,600 --> 00:08:28,080 There are several different types of task in this show... Yeah. 219 00:08:28,160 --> 00:08:29,960 ..so you're just going to have to feel it. OK. 220 00:08:30,040 --> 00:08:32,280 This isn't actually the task, is it? 221 00:08:32,360 --> 00:08:34,280 It's just a thing that's going to happen. 222 00:08:34,360 --> 00:08:35,800 Yeah, sorry. Yeah. 223 00:08:35,880 --> 00:08:37,520 Still fun, though, Jack. Oh, it is. 224 00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:39,160 The fun never stops, I can see. LAUGHTER 225 00:08:39,240 --> 00:08:41,640 I'm having a... I'm having a ball. Mm. 226 00:08:41,720 --> 00:08:44,720 APPLAUSE 227 00:08:44,800 --> 00:08:47,160 We don't know what Alex is currently wearing, 228 00:08:47,240 --> 00:08:48,920 but Rosie's quite right. 229 00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:52,600 His decision to wear that is almost certainly the fault of his parents. 230 00:08:52,680 --> 00:08:54,120 LAUGHTER 231 00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:56,760 So, something to look forward to. Yes. Quite right. 232 00:08:56,840 --> 00:08:59,160 They can play their joker at any point 233 00:08:59,240 --> 00:09:01,520 across the rest of the series by putting on the mystery outfit, 234 00:09:01,600 --> 00:09:04,560 but for now, here's some more memorable fun. 235 00:09:23,160 --> 00:09:25,320 Back in the weird lab. All right. 236 00:09:25,400 --> 00:09:28,440 Is this your wardrobe? 237 00:09:28,520 --> 00:09:30,520 It's not my wardrobe. 238 00:09:31,960 --> 00:09:34,080 OK. LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 239 00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:35,840 Hi, Jack. Hi, Alex. You all right? 240 00:09:35,920 --> 00:09:37,560 Yeah, not bad. 241 00:09:37,640 --> 00:09:40,680 JACK SIGHS OK. 242 00:09:40,760 --> 00:09:42,640 Prepared for everything? Yeah. 243 00:09:42,720 --> 00:09:44,040 Brand-new gloves. 244 00:09:44,120 --> 00:09:45,920 Well, I've been waiting to do the show a long time. 245 00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:47,480 LAUGHTER 246 00:09:47,560 --> 00:09:50,840 Right. Um... 247 00:09:50,920 --> 00:09:53,520 ..I decided to wear the hot dog outfit for this one. 248 00:09:53,600 --> 00:09:54,800 Oh, yeah. Mm. 249 00:09:54,880 --> 00:09:56,920 It means this one counts double for you. Yeah. 250 00:09:57,000 --> 00:09:59,960 Whatever points you get. Yeah. So it's a big one. 251 00:10:02,240 --> 00:10:05,240 "Remember these ten fine people." 252 00:10:05,320 --> 00:10:06,680 "You have two minutes 253 00:10:06,760 --> 00:10:09,960 "to acquaint yourself with these fine people." 254 00:10:10,040 --> 00:10:15,000 "Best memory wins." 255 00:10:15,080 --> 00:10:18,760 "Your time starts now." 256 00:10:18,840 --> 00:10:21,320 OK, cool. Let's memorise these people, then. 257 00:10:21,400 --> 00:10:25,520 All right. Dina. She's got the blonde hair, pearls. 258 00:10:25,600 --> 00:10:26,920 Izzy, bandanna. 259 00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:30,560 So, that's Gordo. Moustache Trev looks good. 260 00:10:30,640 --> 00:10:32,160 Have you got a good memory, Jack? 261 00:10:32,240 --> 00:10:33,360 I'm going to, uh... 262 00:10:33,440 --> 00:10:35,880 It'll be better if I'm not talking to you during it. 263 00:10:35,960 --> 00:10:38,960 # Dina, Dina, Dina 264 00:10:39,040 --> 00:10:41,960 # Izzy, Dina, Izzy. # 265 00:10:42,040 --> 00:10:44,880 Yank Tank, Yank Tank, Yank Tank. What's your process for your...? 266 00:10:44,960 --> 00:10:46,120 SHE HUMS Oh. 267 00:10:46,200 --> 00:10:47,240 Yank Tank. 268 00:10:47,320 --> 00:10:50,760 Blanket, clown. Ah! OK. 269 00:10:50,840 --> 00:10:54,760 Grillsy. Is that real? Yes. OK. 270 00:10:54,840 --> 00:10:56,400 What's your method for remembering things, Jack? 271 00:10:56,480 --> 00:10:57,760 Try not to be distracted. LAUGHTER 272 00:10:57,840 --> 00:10:59,640 Chisel. Chisel. 273 00:10:59,720 --> 00:11:06,240 # Dina, Izzy, Yank Tank Colonel! Colonel! # 274 00:11:06,320 --> 00:11:10,560 They're now in my memory house, in my memory castle. Right. Mm. 275 00:11:12,200 --> 00:11:13,360 Cool. I'm cool. 276 00:11:13,440 --> 00:11:14,760 I don't fancy my chances here. 277 00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:16,360 ALEX BLOWS WHISTLE FOR EACH CONTESTANT 278 00:11:16,440 --> 00:11:19,600 Blanket. Ah! Please look at the camera. 279 00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:22,040 I was hoping you weren't going to do that. 280 00:11:22,120 --> 00:11:28,560 I got that sorted, but that's a shit dump. 281 00:11:28,640 --> 00:11:29,840 LAUGHTER 282 00:11:29,920 --> 00:11:31,000 I was just wondering if you could tell me 283 00:11:31,080 --> 00:11:33,200 who all these people are, Jack. Shall I start now? 284 00:11:33,280 --> 00:11:34,720 Why not? 285 00:11:34,800 --> 00:11:36,040 Dina. 286 00:11:36,120 --> 00:11:37,120 BOTH: Izzy. 287 00:11:37,200 --> 00:11:38,160 Yank Tank. 288 00:11:38,240 --> 00:11:39,280 The Yank Tank. 289 00:11:39,360 --> 00:11:40,320 Colonel. The Colonel. 290 00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:41,360 Blanket. 291 00:11:41,440 --> 00:11:45,080 # Dina, Izzy, Yank Tank 292 00:11:45,160 --> 00:11:47,120 # Colonel! # 293 00:11:47,200 --> 00:11:48,840 ALL: Blanket. 294 00:11:48,920 --> 00:11:51,560 Do...Dora? There wasn't a Dora, was there? 295 00:11:51,640 --> 00:11:52,840 There should've been a Dora. 296 00:11:52,920 --> 00:11:54,920 It looks like a Dora, do you not think? 297 00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:56,080 Grillsy. 298 00:11:56,160 --> 00:11:58,200 EMMA AND JACK: Chisel. Reggie. 299 00:11:58,280 --> 00:11:59,560 Trish. No? 300 00:11:59,640 --> 00:12:02,280 We'll go with Trish, man. Trish. Let's go with Trish. 301 00:12:02,360 --> 00:12:05,520 I didn't talk to them. 302 00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:07,720 No, you didn't talk to them. Oh! 303 00:12:07,800 --> 00:12:11,960 This is, uh, Izzy, with the bandage. 304 00:12:12,040 --> 00:12:14,240 I'm really screwed with her. 305 00:12:14,320 --> 00:12:16,720 I can't stop thinking of Tamzin Outhwaite. 306 00:12:16,800 --> 00:12:18,840 Maybe she was called Tamzin. 307 00:12:18,920 --> 00:12:21,160 I think this one's Gordo. 308 00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:23,600 EMMA AND BABATUNDE: Gordo. Trev. 309 00:12:23,680 --> 00:12:25,920 Uh, I can't remember these two. 310 00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:27,840 Um... They've left the palace. 311 00:12:27,920 --> 00:12:30,240 I'm going to leave it at that. I think I've done all of them. 312 00:12:30,320 --> 00:12:32,320 APPLAUSE 313 00:12:38,240 --> 00:12:41,120 Were you, uh, happy in your hot dog costume? 314 00:12:41,200 --> 00:12:43,240 Uh, I wasn't. No, I wasn't... wasn't happy in it. 315 00:12:43,320 --> 00:12:45,600 I didn't think it looked, uh, any good. 316 00:12:45,680 --> 00:12:47,240 It felt tacky as well. It was cheap. 317 00:12:47,320 --> 00:12:49,560 Yeah. I think I pulled it off, though. Yeah. 318 00:12:49,640 --> 00:12:53,280 I should say, it was the first task immediately after being given... 319 00:12:53,360 --> 00:12:54,560 LAUGHTER ..uh, the option. 320 00:12:54,640 --> 00:12:55,640 Straight in. Yeah. 321 00:12:55,720 --> 00:12:57,600 So, you just thought, "Fuck it, let's get this out of the way with." 322 00:12:57,680 --> 00:12:58,960 Get it over and done with... Yeah. 323 00:12:59,040 --> 00:13:03,320 ..you know, and then you haven't got that to dread in the future. 324 00:13:03,400 --> 00:13:04,840 Rosie only did half the room, 325 00:13:04,920 --> 00:13:07,640 but I should also say that was only half the task. 326 00:13:07,720 --> 00:13:10,440 OK. It's breaktime. 327 00:13:10,520 --> 00:13:12,640 Try to fulfil these previous few minutes 328 00:13:12,720 --> 00:13:14,400 without using your smartphone. 329 00:13:14,480 --> 00:13:17,040 You don't need to look up Little Alex Horne's real height. 330 00:13:17,120 --> 00:13:19,200 I've told you, the guy is 5'2". 331 00:13:19,280 --> 00:13:22,840 If anything, look up how a virgin can have three kids. 332 00:13:22,920 --> 00:13:25,120 LAUGHTER 333 00:13:25,200 --> 00:13:26,920 We'll see in a minute. 334 00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:29,000 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 335 00:13:36,720 --> 00:13:37,920 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 336 00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:40,800 Hello, and welcome back to Taskmaster. 337 00:13:40,880 --> 00:13:42,360 It's the second part of the show, 338 00:13:42,440 --> 00:13:45,040 and we still haven't had a proper task for me to judge. 339 00:13:45,120 --> 00:13:46,600 Aw, poor old Greggy! 340 00:13:46,680 --> 00:13:50,760 But here we go - a new task, and the introduction of our teams. 341 00:14:03,200 --> 00:14:07,000 Hello. Andy. Good to see you. 342 00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:08,480 You, too. 343 00:14:08,560 --> 00:14:09,880 Shall I? 344 00:14:09,960 --> 00:14:12,440 Well, we should do a little bit of small talk. 345 00:14:12,520 --> 00:14:14,520 Oh! 346 00:14:14,840 --> 00:14:17,360 Oh, hi, guys. Hi. 347 00:14:17,440 --> 00:14:20,120 What you saying, bro? How you doing? I'm cool. 348 00:14:20,200 --> 00:14:22,400 Andy, this is Baba. Baba, this is Andy. Hello. 349 00:14:22,480 --> 00:14:24,360 Man like Andy, why are you dressed like that? 350 00:14:24,440 --> 00:14:25,720 LAUGHTER 351 00:14:25,800 --> 00:14:27,120 Hello. 352 00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:29,000 Hello! 353 00:14:29,080 --> 00:14:31,960 How are you? You all right? How are you? Yeah, yeah. 354 00:14:33,120 --> 00:14:34,720 SHE GASPS Oh, hi! 355 00:14:34,800 --> 00:14:36,480 Hello. Hello. Hello. 356 00:14:36,560 --> 00:14:39,120 Oh, hello, Emma. My name's, uh, Emma Sidi. 357 00:14:40,640 --> 00:14:42,040 Hello, Emma. Andy. 358 00:14:42,120 --> 00:14:43,720 How you doing? Baba. Nice to meet you. Hi. 359 00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:46,440 Nice to meet you. Hello, Emma. This is Baba. Baba, this is Emma. 360 00:14:46,520 --> 00:14:49,760 Andy, this is Emma. Emma, this is Andy. That's everyone. 361 00:14:49,840 --> 00:14:50,840 SHE SIGHS 362 00:14:50,920 --> 00:14:53,560 So, one of you needs to open and read the task. 363 00:14:53,640 --> 00:14:55,960 Jackie. OK. You call him Jackie? 364 00:14:56,040 --> 00:14:58,080 Yeah. Oh, good. LAUGHTER 365 00:14:58,160 --> 00:15:01,560 "Become the best multi-headed creature." 366 00:15:01,640 --> 00:15:02,800 THEY CHUCKLE 367 00:15:02,880 --> 00:15:05,200 "Your creature must prove they are the best 368 00:15:05,280 --> 00:15:07,280 "by doing something impressive." 369 00:15:07,360 --> 00:15:11,760 "Also, during that impressive thing, they must speak one word at a time 370 00:15:11,840 --> 00:15:15,720 "and explain what it is they are doing and why it is impressive." 371 00:15:15,800 --> 00:15:18,680 "You have 20 minutes. Your time starts now." 372 00:15:18,760 --> 00:15:20,080 Can anyone juggle? 373 00:15:20,160 --> 00:15:21,840 No. No. No. 374 00:15:21,920 --> 00:15:24,200 No. Absolutely not. All right. 375 00:15:24,280 --> 00:15:26,920 Well, we could collect a lot of heads around the house. 376 00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:29,320 Right, could be any heads. Dog's head. 377 00:15:29,400 --> 00:15:30,960 That... You see, that... That... 378 00:15:31,040 --> 00:15:32,200 I like what you're thinking there, 379 00:15:32,280 --> 00:15:34,400 cos it doesn't have to be a human head. 380 00:15:34,480 --> 00:15:36,880 Do something with multi-headed creatures of history. 381 00:15:36,960 --> 00:15:38,840 Oh, yeah. There haven't been too many, have there, really? 382 00:15:38,920 --> 00:15:41,760 Hydra. Three-headed dog, guard of the underworld. 383 00:15:41,840 --> 00:15:46,800 What do you do that's impressive? I can move my knuckles. 384 00:15:48,200 --> 00:15:50,000 Oh, you can! AUDIENCE LAUGHS AND GROANS 385 00:15:50,080 --> 00:15:51,880 I mean, it's niche. LAUGHTER 386 00:15:51,960 --> 00:15:54,200 Is it like making a smoothie? 387 00:15:54,280 --> 00:15:57,920 I always find a good smoothie is, like, really fantastic. 388 00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:00,280 That's, like... You know, when someone's like, "Oh, 389 00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:02,720 "this is great," and then you taste it and it's delicious. 390 00:16:02,800 --> 00:16:04,760 LAUGHTER What? OK. 391 00:16:04,840 --> 00:16:07,000 Look, it doesn't have to be a smoothie. I... But... 392 00:16:07,080 --> 00:16:09,080 Three-headed... Three-headed smoothie. ..something like that. 393 00:16:09,160 --> 00:16:13,560 What if I stand on my head? 394 00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:16,120 I would love that. Go on, let's see if it can be done. 395 00:16:16,200 --> 00:16:19,640 Wait. Do you need some help? Shall I...? Yeah. 396 00:16:20,920 --> 00:16:21,880 More. More. 397 00:16:21,960 --> 00:16:23,120 LAUGHTER 398 00:16:23,200 --> 00:16:24,840 Ooh! 399 00:16:24,920 --> 00:16:27,800 Yeah, see you can't do it, can you? Ah! 400 00:16:27,880 --> 00:16:29,880 LAUGHTER Right. 401 00:16:30,840 --> 00:16:32,560 OK, so, what are we on, 12 minutes? 402 00:16:32,640 --> 00:16:34,600 Yeah, yeah. It's really going down now. All right, cool. Let's do it. 403 00:16:34,680 --> 00:16:36,760 Right. I really don't want to get this wrong. 404 00:16:37,880 --> 00:16:39,520 These guys, man. Right. 405 00:16:39,600 --> 00:16:43,080 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 406 00:16:45,560 --> 00:16:47,600 I mean, I don't know where to start. 407 00:16:47,680 --> 00:16:49,760 Quite a good vibe with this team. 408 00:16:49,840 --> 00:16:56,240 So excited to be on a team with Jackie, 409 00:16:56,320 --> 00:17:01,720 cos I feel like we've got so much in common. 410 00:17:01,800 --> 00:17:03,880 Do you? LAUGHTER 411 00:17:03,960 --> 00:17:09,480 We're both from a place of positivity. 412 00:17:09,560 --> 00:17:11,040 LAUGHTER 413 00:17:11,120 --> 00:17:12,320 Correct. 414 00:17:12,400 --> 00:17:17,240 And we were a team made in heaven. 415 00:17:17,320 --> 00:17:19,320 LAUGHTER 416 00:17:23,320 --> 00:17:24,520 There's a bond there, 417 00:17:24,600 --> 00:17:26,320 and I've got high hopes for your multi-headed beast. 418 00:17:26,400 --> 00:17:28,520 Yeah. Now, this group... LAUGHTER 419 00:17:28,600 --> 00:17:33,240 ..I don't think I have ever seen a more awkward introduction. 420 00:17:33,320 --> 00:17:34,560 LAUGHTER 421 00:17:34,640 --> 00:17:35,800 I was so confused. 422 00:17:35,880 --> 00:17:36,880 I was just like, 423 00:17:36,960 --> 00:17:39,160 "Why am I hooked up with, like, this cricketer," 424 00:17:39,240 --> 00:17:40,520 and then a detective comes in. 425 00:17:40,600 --> 00:17:42,280 LAUGHTER 426 00:17:42,360 --> 00:17:43,680 I was so confused. 427 00:17:43,760 --> 00:17:47,640 There's... There's no mystery, Baba, at least as to who the detective is. 428 00:17:47,720 --> 00:17:49,480 It's Detective Emma Sidi. 429 00:17:49,560 --> 00:17:51,560 LAUGHTER Oh, God! 430 00:17:51,640 --> 00:17:53,920 "Once you've formed your multi-headed beast, 431 00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:56,120 "what would be the most impressive thing you would do?" 432 00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:59,040 And Emma went for... LAUGHTER 433 00:17:59,120 --> 00:18:00,800 ..the making of a smoothie. 434 00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:02,440 LAUGHTER 435 00:18:02,520 --> 00:18:04,600 You... You might not have seen this cos you were in the room. 436 00:18:04,680 --> 00:18:06,480 Do you want to see what Baba thought of your idea? 437 00:18:06,560 --> 00:18:08,080 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 438 00:18:08,160 --> 00:18:09,600 I always find, like, 439 00:18:09,680 --> 00:18:12,240 a good smoothie is like really fantastic. 440 00:18:12,320 --> 00:18:14,800 That's, like... You know, when someone's like, "Oh..." 441 00:18:14,880 --> 00:18:16,880 LAUGHTER 442 00:18:20,480 --> 00:18:23,640 Anyway, well, we're going to start with the team of two, 443 00:18:23,720 --> 00:18:25,520 Rosie and Jackie. 444 00:18:25,600 --> 00:18:27,320 This. Is. 445 00:18:27,400 --> 00:18:28,880 Bin. And. 446 00:18:28,960 --> 00:18:30,960 Gone. 447 00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:35,960 HE STRUMS UKULELE TUNELESSLY 448 00:18:36,040 --> 00:18:38,160 # We 449 00:18:38,240 --> 00:18:39,880 # Are 450 00:18:39,960 --> 00:18:41,360 # So 451 00:18:41,440 --> 00:18:42,880 # Happy... # LAUGHTER 452 00:18:42,960 --> 00:18:43,960 # To 453 00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:45,080 # Be 454 00:18:45,160 --> 00:18:46,120 # Here 455 00:18:46,200 --> 00:18:47,160 # On 456 00:18:47,240 --> 00:18:48,320 # Your 457 00:18:48,400 --> 00:18:49,400 # Task 458 00:18:49,480 --> 00:18:50,640 # Master 459 00:18:50,720 --> 00:18:52,720 # Show 460 00:18:53,680 --> 00:18:54,880 # We 461 00:18:54,960 --> 00:18:55,960 # Are 462 00:18:56,040 --> 00:18:57,280 # So 463 00:18:57,360 --> 00:18:59,360 # Impressive 464 00:18:59,760 --> 00:19:01,720 # With 465 00:19:01,800 --> 00:19:03,120 # Instruments 466 00:19:03,200 --> 00:19:04,360 # And 467 00:19:04,440 --> 00:19:05,520 # I 468 00:19:05,600 --> 00:19:06,840 # Love 469 00:19:06,920 --> 00:19:08,200 # Playing 470 00:19:08,280 --> 00:19:10,680 # Instruments. # 471 00:19:12,960 --> 00:19:14,960 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 472 00:19:17,120 --> 00:19:20,040 You poked your head through a bin bag and then you sang a song. 473 00:19:20,120 --> 00:19:21,800 There are two things you're missing here. 474 00:19:21,880 --> 00:19:24,000 One is that we had to join two bin bags - 475 00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:26,200 otherwise it wouldn't have been big enough, Greg. No! 476 00:19:26,280 --> 00:19:28,520 And then the other thing you're missing is that, by then, 477 00:19:28,600 --> 00:19:30,560 I'd lost the will to live. Yeah. 478 00:19:30,640 --> 00:19:32,560 LAUGHTER 479 00:19:32,640 --> 00:19:35,080 Right, Jackie's starting to turn on you here. 480 00:19:35,160 --> 00:19:37,720 No, no. Not on... He's pulling away from the group. 481 00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:40,160 There's only one thing that can save you now, 482 00:19:40,240 --> 00:19:43,320 and it's the most awkward gang in town. 483 00:19:43,400 --> 00:19:45,400 LAUGHTER 484 00:19:49,120 --> 00:19:50,360 LAUGHTER 485 00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:53,000 We. Are. Making. 486 00:19:53,080 --> 00:19:54,760 A. Phenomenal. 487 00:19:54,840 --> 00:19:56,400 Smoothie. 488 00:19:56,480 --> 00:19:58,280 Today. Using. 489 00:19:58,360 --> 00:20:01,200 So. Many. Phenomenal. 490 00:20:01,280 --> 00:20:02,920 Fruits. 491 00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:05,720 And. Life-giving. 492 00:20:05,800 --> 00:20:07,800 Nutrients. 493 00:20:08,280 --> 00:20:09,760 Today. 494 00:20:09,840 --> 00:20:10,800 Making. 495 00:20:10,880 --> 00:20:12,920 This. Impressive. 496 00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:14,920 Medicine. 497 00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:17,000 Will. 498 00:20:19,040 --> 00:20:21,040 Today. LAUGHTER 499 00:20:27,040 --> 00:20:29,920 Oh. My. Gosh. 500 00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:32,760 This. Is. Phenomenal. 501 00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:35,160 Smoothie time. 502 00:20:35,240 --> 00:20:37,240 Today. LAUGHTER 503 00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:42,480 Eurgh. LAUGHTER 504 00:20:42,560 --> 00:20:43,800 Yum. 505 00:20:43,880 --> 00:20:45,040 Surprisingly. 506 00:20:45,120 --> 00:20:47,120 Nutty. 507 00:20:48,200 --> 00:20:50,280 AUDIENCE GROANS 508 00:20:50,360 --> 00:20:51,760 Eurgh! 509 00:20:51,840 --> 00:20:53,400 ALEX BLOWS WHISTLE 510 00:20:53,480 --> 00:20:56,560 Thanks, team. You may return to the house. 511 00:20:56,640 --> 00:20:58,360 We should do this again sometime. 512 00:20:58,440 --> 00:21:01,800 Yeah. Yeah, no. For real. It was genuinely very nice. 513 00:21:01,880 --> 00:21:03,960 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 514 00:21:09,040 --> 00:21:10,880 You actually did make a smoothie. 515 00:21:10,960 --> 00:21:14,360 Uh, excuse me. It was a multi-headed beast. 516 00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:16,400 Yeah. How many heads was it? Hey, I didn't mind the beast. 517 00:21:16,480 --> 00:21:17,960 There was a lot of heads on that beast. 518 00:21:18,040 --> 00:21:19,880 It was a better beast than these two clowns. 519 00:21:19,960 --> 00:21:22,000 OK. Right, that much I'll concede. 520 00:21:22,080 --> 00:21:24,000 But you still made a smoothie. 521 00:21:24,080 --> 00:21:26,280 And, Baba, if you want to get into an argument, 522 00:21:26,360 --> 00:21:29,640 you can explain to me why you just kept saying the word "today". 523 00:21:29,720 --> 00:21:30,920 LAUGHTER 524 00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:32,120 I drank that smoothie, 525 00:21:32,200 --> 00:21:35,920 I went home, and for the first time in my life, I levitated. 526 00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:38,040 LAUGHTER 527 00:21:38,120 --> 00:21:41,560 HE LAUGHS Who was worse? I don't know. 528 00:21:41,640 --> 00:21:43,640 And what was...? What were you least impressed by - 529 00:21:43,720 --> 00:21:45,280 the song or the smoothie? The smoothie. 530 00:21:45,360 --> 00:21:46,680 The smoothie, and that's saying something, 531 00:21:46,760 --> 00:21:47,880 cos you heard the song. 532 00:21:47,960 --> 00:21:49,960 LAUGHTER 533 00:21:52,640 --> 00:21:55,000 The song was slightly better than the smoothie. 534 00:21:55,080 --> 00:21:58,280 But the multi-headed beast was far more impressive... Mm. 535 00:21:58,360 --> 00:21:59,560 ..than... Yeah. 536 00:21:59,640 --> 00:22:02,440 ..two idiots putting their head through a bin bag - no offence. 537 00:22:02,520 --> 00:22:04,160 Listen. Listen. Listen. Listen! Listen! 538 00:22:04,240 --> 00:22:06,480 It was a multi-headed beast. Yeah. Right? It was. No, wait. 539 00:22:06,560 --> 00:22:09,280 Which beast do you know that makes a smoothie? 540 00:22:09,360 --> 00:22:11,680 We did that. LAUGHTER 541 00:22:11,760 --> 00:22:14,920 This is the man who rolled his eyes, and look at him now. Thank you. 542 00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:16,920 Come on, man! This is what I'm trying to say! 543 00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:20,360 We're opening a smoothie shop after this. JACK: Fair enough. 544 00:22:20,440 --> 00:22:23,400 So, lovely to see a gang come together. 545 00:22:23,480 --> 00:22:25,640 We're going to open a smoothie bar. 546 00:22:25,720 --> 00:22:26,840 Today. 547 00:22:26,920 --> 00:22:28,880 LAUGHTER 548 00:22:28,960 --> 00:22:30,760 APPLAUSE 549 00:22:30,840 --> 00:22:32,560 Very nice. 550 00:22:32,640 --> 00:22:34,440 I think they're both as bad as each other, 551 00:22:34,520 --> 00:22:36,360 and I know you don't like... you don't like a draw. 552 00:22:36,440 --> 00:22:38,640 Two points each, and you'll all thank me for that. 553 00:22:38,720 --> 00:22:40,320 There we go - they all get two points. 554 00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:42,680 There it is. APPLAUSE 555 00:22:42,760 --> 00:22:44,560 Well done. Well, the order hasn't changed. 556 00:22:44,640 --> 00:22:47,200 Rosie, last week's winner, is still in the lead with seven points. 557 00:22:47,280 --> 00:22:48,280 There we are. 558 00:22:48,360 --> 00:22:50,360 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 559 00:22:51,360 --> 00:22:53,560 Hit us with another task, please, Little Alex Horne. 560 00:22:53,640 --> 00:22:55,800 Ooh, there's somebody at the door! Ooh! 561 00:23:00,160 --> 00:23:02,160 DOORBELL RINGS 562 00:23:03,520 --> 00:23:05,520 DOOR OPENS 563 00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:12,320 Wow. You ready? Born ready. 564 00:23:12,400 --> 00:23:15,080 Yeah. Really great to see you. And you as well. 565 00:23:17,040 --> 00:23:19,240 LAUGHTER 566 00:23:19,320 --> 00:23:20,560 So, this is awkward. 567 00:23:20,640 --> 00:23:21,840 Mm. 568 00:23:21,920 --> 00:23:23,240 Hello! 569 00:23:23,320 --> 00:23:24,520 You look happy. 570 00:23:24,600 --> 00:23:30,960 I am happy any day that I'm with you, 571 00:23:31,040 --> 00:23:33,400 my little baby boy. 572 00:23:33,480 --> 00:23:36,280 LAUGHTER OK, there's a task over there. 573 00:23:36,360 --> 00:23:38,520 Oh, there we go. 574 00:23:42,960 --> 00:23:46,160 There's a... Is there a challenge? 575 00:23:46,240 --> 00:23:48,120 Uh, yeah there's a task. A task, yeah. 576 00:23:48,200 --> 00:23:50,520 Yeah, it's just on, on the door. Oh, OK. Yeah. 577 00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:53,760 Oh! 578 00:23:53,840 --> 00:23:55,720 Ah! Done it. 579 00:23:55,800 --> 00:24:00,680 "Capture the most remarkable footage on this doorbell camera." 580 00:24:04,480 --> 00:24:07,160 Yo! Man like Baba. LAUGHTER 581 00:24:07,240 --> 00:24:09,720 "You have 30 minutes." 582 00:24:09,800 --> 00:24:12,360 "Your time starts now." 583 00:24:12,440 --> 00:24:15,040 Interesting, the word "remarkable". 584 00:24:15,120 --> 00:24:16,480 Trying to think of anything, 585 00:24:16,560 --> 00:24:19,440 any kind of footage that I've ever seen that's remarkable. 586 00:24:19,520 --> 00:24:21,080 Are you aware of doorbell cameras? 587 00:24:21,160 --> 00:24:23,840 Doorbell... Well, I'm aware of their work. 588 00:24:23,920 --> 00:24:26,160 Um, I think Star Wars was filmed on a doorbell camera. 589 00:24:26,240 --> 00:24:27,880 LAUGHTER It was the first known use of it. 590 00:24:27,960 --> 00:24:32,640 I want to put on a show. 591 00:24:32,720 --> 00:24:38,280 It needs to be elaborate. 592 00:24:38,360 --> 00:24:40,360 APPLAUSE 593 00:24:43,680 --> 00:24:45,800 It needs to be remarkable, actually. 594 00:24:45,880 --> 00:24:49,600 I mean, they are synonyms. 595 00:24:49,680 --> 00:24:51,800 OK. LAUGHTER 596 00:24:51,880 --> 00:24:53,960 How do you feel about being Rosie's little baby boy? 597 00:24:54,040 --> 00:24:55,720 You like that? Yes and no. 598 00:24:55,800 --> 00:24:57,040 What's the no part? 599 00:24:57,120 --> 00:24:58,480 I want to grow up one day. 600 00:24:58,560 --> 00:25:00,280 LAUGHTER 601 00:25:00,360 --> 00:25:01,400 All right. OK. 602 00:25:01,480 --> 00:25:02,600 What are we going to see? 603 00:25:02,680 --> 00:25:03,960 Well, let's start with Daddy. LAUGHTER 604 00:25:04,040 --> 00:25:06,040 It is Rosie Jones. 605 00:25:06,960 --> 00:25:09,960 SHE MOANS 606 00:25:10,040 --> 00:25:12,040 LAUGHTER 607 00:25:16,040 --> 00:25:17,640 DOORBELL RINGS 608 00:25:17,720 --> 00:25:21,000 Merry Christmas. 609 00:25:21,080 --> 00:25:26,480 I'm Mary and I'm having a baby! 610 00:25:26,560 --> 00:25:30,360 LAUGHTER, SHE GROANS LOUDLY 611 00:25:32,320 --> 00:25:34,240 LAUGHTER Ah! 612 00:25:34,320 --> 00:25:39,400 I will call him Jesus. 613 00:25:43,360 --> 00:25:46,280 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 614 00:25:48,280 --> 00:25:54,200 What is more remarkable than the birth of our Lord? 615 00:25:54,280 --> 00:25:56,840 LAUGHTER 616 00:25:56,920 --> 00:25:59,880 It's a bold and fresh take on Christianity. 617 00:25:59,960 --> 00:26:02,600 LAUGHTER 618 00:26:02,680 --> 00:26:03,640 If it's not disrespectful, 619 00:26:03,720 --> 00:26:06,880 one would almost say that Jesus positively fell out. 620 00:26:06,960 --> 00:26:08,320 LAUGHTER Yeah. Yeah. 621 00:26:08,400 --> 00:26:10,840 All right, that's it. We're halfway through the episode. 622 00:26:10,920 --> 00:26:12,120 See you in a minute. 623 00:26:12,200 --> 00:26:14,200 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 624 00:26:21,040 --> 00:26:23,200 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 625 00:26:23,280 --> 00:26:27,720 Hello. Welcome back to Taskmaster, where our door is always open. 626 00:26:27,800 --> 00:26:29,080 Well, not always, Greg. 627 00:26:29,160 --> 00:26:30,880 For the current task, it's always closed, 628 00:26:30,960 --> 00:26:32,960 so that's a pretty poor choice of words. 629 00:26:33,040 --> 00:26:35,040 LAUGHTER The comedians have been tasked 630 00:26:35,120 --> 00:26:37,560 to record the most remarkable doorbell camera footage. 631 00:26:37,640 --> 00:26:40,640 Next up, Baba, whose name is an anagram of ABBA, 632 00:26:40,720 --> 00:26:44,280 and Andy Zaltzman, whose name is an anagram of "Adz Azlimnat". 633 00:26:44,360 --> 00:26:46,360 LAUGHTER 634 00:26:47,160 --> 00:26:49,160 DOORBELL RINGS 635 00:26:56,520 --> 00:26:58,520 LAUGHTER 636 00:26:59,320 --> 00:27:01,560 DOORBELL RINGS 637 00:27:06,800 --> 00:27:08,800 LAUGHTER 638 00:27:15,680 --> 00:27:17,560 IN DRAMATIC VOICE: Alexander! 639 00:27:17,640 --> 00:27:19,480 Oh, right. Hello. 640 00:27:19,560 --> 00:27:23,280 I am your future. I know what you plan. 641 00:27:23,360 --> 00:27:24,640 OK. What's that, then? 642 00:27:24,720 --> 00:27:28,160 The full and total destruction of the Taskmaster. 643 00:27:28,240 --> 00:27:30,840 Ah, fair cop. Yeah. That is the plan. 644 00:27:30,920 --> 00:27:34,120 Always been the plan, actually. Right from episode one, series one. 645 00:27:34,200 --> 00:27:36,080 I know when you will destroy him. 646 00:27:36,160 --> 00:27:37,360 Mm-hm, when. 647 00:27:37,440 --> 00:27:39,120 Uh, yeah, well, in the... in the studio, 648 00:27:39,200 --> 00:27:40,680 when we show this task. That's right. 649 00:27:40,760 --> 00:27:42,880 That's e-exactly right. LAUGHTER 650 00:27:49,400 --> 00:27:51,400 LAUGHTER 651 00:27:58,280 --> 00:28:00,520 How will you destroy the Taskmaster? 652 00:28:00,600 --> 00:28:03,320 Hmm. I can't say that. Oh, come on. We're mates. 653 00:28:03,400 --> 00:28:06,120 Well, let's say revenge will be sweet. 654 00:28:06,200 --> 00:28:08,000 Right. Revenge for that time that... 655 00:28:08,080 --> 00:28:10,320 Shh! No, I can't say that. 656 00:28:10,400 --> 00:28:12,200 That is our secret. Our secret. 657 00:28:12,280 --> 00:28:14,080 No-one can know that. 658 00:28:14,160 --> 00:28:15,160 CHICKEN CLUCKS 659 00:28:15,240 --> 00:28:18,480 HIGH-PITCHED VOICE: We know. We always know. 660 00:28:18,560 --> 00:28:19,960 LAUGHTER 661 00:28:20,040 --> 00:28:21,440 Sticking around? 662 00:28:21,520 --> 00:28:22,920 C-Can you see that chicken? 663 00:28:23,000 --> 00:28:24,440 CHICKEN CLUCKS 664 00:28:24,520 --> 00:28:26,760 What chicken? CHICKEN CLUCKS 665 00:28:28,480 --> 00:28:31,240 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 666 00:28:34,840 --> 00:28:38,600 Mine was shit, bro. LAUGHTER 667 00:28:38,680 --> 00:28:41,000 Maybe it was remarkable for being so shit. 668 00:28:41,080 --> 00:28:42,280 HE LAUGHS Maybe. 669 00:28:42,360 --> 00:28:44,400 You weren't even any good at keepy-uppies. 670 00:28:44,480 --> 00:28:45,960 LAUGHTER 671 00:28:46,040 --> 00:28:49,040 When you first kicked it, I thought, "Oh, he's going to be good at this." 672 00:28:49,120 --> 00:28:50,280 Three, finished. 673 00:28:50,360 --> 00:28:52,360 LAUGHTER 674 00:28:52,440 --> 00:28:54,560 Andy, I thought, "Oh, that's a good idea. 675 00:28:54,640 --> 00:28:57,240 "The ghost comes... That's an intriguing story." Mm. 676 00:28:57,320 --> 00:28:59,920 But then I found the ghost himself to be quite boring. 677 00:29:00,000 --> 00:29:01,400 LAUGHTER 678 00:29:01,480 --> 00:29:03,560 Well, that's often... Ghosts are, aren't they? 679 00:29:03,640 --> 00:29:07,280 Because if you think of the mundanity of death... Yeah. 680 00:29:07,360 --> 00:29:09,160 ..of being a ghost for all eternity, 681 00:29:09,240 --> 00:29:12,080 you're going to lose your spark, aren't you? 682 00:29:12,160 --> 00:29:13,600 I would say. LAUGHTER 683 00:29:13,680 --> 00:29:14,880 So, he was deliberately dull? 684 00:29:14,960 --> 00:29:16,880 Yeah, well, it was also Alex's future, 685 00:29:16,960 --> 00:29:18,360 so it was probably going to be quite dull. 686 00:29:18,440 --> 00:29:20,040 LAUGHTER 687 00:29:20,120 --> 00:29:21,520 Very clever. 688 00:29:21,600 --> 00:29:22,920 Good. Not good. Bad. 689 00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:24,040 LAUGHTER Right. 690 00:29:24,120 --> 00:29:26,120 Who's next? Next up, it's Emma. 691 00:29:27,360 --> 00:29:29,280 Oh! Phew! 692 00:29:29,360 --> 00:29:30,840 Oh, my God! 693 00:29:30,920 --> 00:29:35,600 SHE HUMS CHEERFULLY 694 00:29:35,680 --> 00:29:37,680 Come on. 695 00:29:41,520 --> 00:29:43,080 All right. Come on. 696 00:29:43,160 --> 00:29:45,760 LAUGHTER What's going on with that? 697 00:29:49,640 --> 00:29:52,080 There we go. I'm cooking with gas. Come on. 698 00:29:52,160 --> 00:29:53,800 Hey! Up-oh! 699 00:29:53,880 --> 00:29:55,880 All right. 700 00:29:56,840 --> 00:29:58,840 LAUGHTER 701 00:30:00,760 --> 00:30:02,760 Mwah! 702 00:30:05,840 --> 00:30:08,520 I'll leave the pan. APPLAUSE 703 00:30:10,320 --> 00:30:12,640 The peak of exhilaration and excitement in your life 704 00:30:12,720 --> 00:30:15,240 seems to be making relatively basic food. 705 00:30:15,320 --> 00:30:17,160 LAUGHTER 706 00:30:17,240 --> 00:30:19,960 Uh, yeah, I think that might be true. What do I do? 707 00:30:20,040 --> 00:30:21,120 Well, do better. 708 00:30:21,200 --> 00:30:22,680 LAUGHTER 709 00:30:22,760 --> 00:30:25,080 Just do... Omelette? Was it an omelette? 710 00:30:25,160 --> 00:30:26,440 No, it was a pancake. 711 00:30:26,520 --> 00:30:27,680 Oh, that's better. Mm. 712 00:30:27,760 --> 00:30:30,520 There was a stamp on the envelope. That was remarkable. 713 00:30:30,600 --> 00:30:32,480 Yeah. But would I think it remarkable 714 00:30:32,560 --> 00:30:35,760 if someone was doing bad keepy-uppies outside my doorbell? 715 00:30:35,840 --> 00:30:37,720 Difficult, innit? Who's next? 716 00:30:37,800 --> 00:30:41,000 The final person we're going to see, oh, it's Jack Dee, 717 00:30:41,080 --> 00:30:43,080 living the dream. 718 00:30:43,600 --> 00:30:45,440 That's the doorbell. 719 00:30:45,520 --> 00:30:47,160 Can it come off? 720 00:30:47,240 --> 00:30:49,240 I suppose so. 721 00:30:50,280 --> 00:30:52,280 DRILL WHIRRS, LAUGHTER 722 00:30:54,480 --> 00:30:56,480 And it's the most remarkable. 723 00:30:57,880 --> 00:30:59,880 There we go. 724 00:30:59,960 --> 00:31:02,720 OK, Alex. Yeah. 725 00:31:02,800 --> 00:31:03,880 Hello. 726 00:31:03,960 --> 00:31:05,880 What did you have for dinner last night? 727 00:31:05,960 --> 00:31:07,280 Do you want to see it? 728 00:31:07,360 --> 00:31:09,360 OK. 729 00:31:09,760 --> 00:31:10,800 TOILET FLUSHES 730 00:31:10,880 --> 00:31:14,080 AUDIENCE GROANS, LAUGHTER 731 00:31:16,240 --> 00:31:18,880 Did you see what I had for dinner? It was a banana, was it? A banana? 732 00:31:18,960 --> 00:31:21,000 I had a banana for pudding, yeah. Yeah, yeah. 733 00:31:21,080 --> 00:31:24,520 I'm not sure your digestion system is working as efficiently 734 00:31:24,600 --> 00:31:25,560 as it should've been. 735 00:31:25,640 --> 00:31:27,000 Well, it wasn't just a banana. 736 00:31:27,080 --> 00:31:28,880 TOILET FLUSHES 737 00:31:28,960 --> 00:31:30,960 LAUGHTER 738 00:31:33,360 --> 00:31:35,480 Omelette? Well, it was a creme caramel. 739 00:31:35,560 --> 00:31:37,640 Creme... LAUGHTER 740 00:31:37,720 --> 00:31:39,200 This is almost as if you never chew. 741 00:31:39,280 --> 00:31:40,800 LAUGHTER 742 00:31:40,880 --> 00:31:42,040 Was it remarkable? 743 00:31:42,120 --> 00:31:43,360 It was. I think it was remarkable. 744 00:31:43,440 --> 00:31:44,480 I don't think you can get 745 00:31:44,560 --> 00:31:46,040 any more remarkable than that, really. 746 00:31:46,120 --> 00:31:49,800 Something I've always wanted to do is watch stuff being flushed 747 00:31:49,880 --> 00:31:52,360 all the way down through and see how it works. 748 00:31:52,440 --> 00:31:55,040 OK, thanks, Jack. Yeah, thanks, Alex. 749 00:31:55,120 --> 00:31:57,120 APPLAUSE 750 00:32:00,200 --> 00:32:02,720 Well, I can't argue it fits the brief. 751 00:32:02,800 --> 00:32:05,280 Like I said in the thing, I like to see how things work. 752 00:32:05,360 --> 00:32:07,120 Yeah. And I like to, uh... 753 00:32:07,200 --> 00:32:09,400 I like to demonstrate how things work as well, 754 00:32:09,480 --> 00:32:11,800 and I think I demonstrated there how... Yeah. 755 00:32:11,880 --> 00:32:13,000 ..how a house works. 756 00:32:13,080 --> 00:32:14,680 And then there's... LAUGHTER 757 00:32:14,760 --> 00:32:15,760 We all have a look... 758 00:32:15,840 --> 00:32:18,160 I had a look inside our family septic tank once. 759 00:32:18,240 --> 00:32:19,280 Why did you look in it? 760 00:32:19,360 --> 00:32:21,040 Um, it was blocked up. What with? 761 00:32:21,120 --> 00:32:23,720 Multicoloured condoms, shit, and frogs. 762 00:32:23,800 --> 00:32:27,000 LAUGHTER 763 00:32:27,080 --> 00:32:29,120 Which was the least remarkable? 764 00:32:29,200 --> 00:32:31,040 GREG LAUGHS 765 00:32:31,120 --> 00:32:32,600 I feel... I feel bad. 766 00:32:32,680 --> 00:32:34,000 It is Baba, probably. 767 00:32:34,080 --> 00:32:35,880 But I don't know whether it's any less remarkable 768 00:32:35,960 --> 00:32:38,000 than Andy's boring ghost. LAUGHTER 769 00:32:38,080 --> 00:32:40,640 I'm giving Baba and Andy two points. 770 00:32:40,720 --> 00:32:42,880 Crepe woman can thank me for her three points. 771 00:32:42,960 --> 00:32:44,000 LAUGHTER 772 00:32:44,080 --> 00:32:46,640 Now, is it poo or is it Christianity? 773 00:32:46,720 --> 00:32:48,720 LAUGHTER 774 00:32:49,360 --> 00:32:52,040 Because I have great respect for those of faith, 775 00:32:52,120 --> 00:32:56,880 it's four points to Jack's poos and Rosie Jones takes five points. 776 00:32:56,960 --> 00:33:00,480 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE OK. Well done, Rosie. Well done. 777 00:33:02,680 --> 00:33:05,160 All right, another task, please, Alex. 778 00:33:05,240 --> 00:33:08,680 Well, cast your mind back a bit for this next one. 779 00:33:14,640 --> 00:33:16,960 Oh, no. 780 00:33:17,040 --> 00:33:18,080 LAUGHTER 781 00:33:18,160 --> 00:33:21,080 Oh, for goodness' sake. Not these again. 782 00:33:21,160 --> 00:33:22,560 Oh. It's nice to see you too, Emma. 783 00:33:22,640 --> 00:33:23,680 Yeah, yeah. 784 00:33:23,760 --> 00:33:24,720 Pleased to see them? 785 00:33:24,800 --> 00:33:28,880 Um, well, I mean, some of them. Some of them, a bit awkward. 786 00:33:28,960 --> 00:33:30,480 LAUGHTER 787 00:33:30,560 --> 00:33:32,120 SHE SIGHS 788 00:33:32,200 --> 00:33:34,520 Do you want me to open the thing? Not yet. OK. 789 00:33:34,600 --> 00:33:36,400 Do you know why not? You want more chat? 790 00:33:36,480 --> 00:33:37,880 No. LAUGHTER 791 00:33:37,960 --> 00:33:39,640 What? 792 00:33:39,720 --> 00:33:41,360 Oh, you want me to put that on? 793 00:33:41,440 --> 00:33:43,400 You should really be dressed as a hot dog for this one. 794 00:33:43,480 --> 00:33:46,600 "Identify these ten fine people." 795 00:33:46,680 --> 00:33:50,800 "Uh, most fine people correctly identified wins." 796 00:33:50,880 --> 00:33:53,000 Oh, my God! I forgot them! 797 00:33:53,080 --> 00:33:55,960 "You have four fine minutes. Your time starts now." 798 00:33:57,440 --> 00:33:58,760 Colonel! 799 00:33:58,840 --> 00:34:00,840 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 800 00:34:05,080 --> 00:34:06,920 It's a dirty trick, and no mistake. 801 00:34:07,000 --> 00:34:09,400 And only the, uh, people with actually good memories 802 00:34:09,480 --> 00:34:10,680 are going to succeed, I suspect. 803 00:34:10,760 --> 00:34:12,080 Let's have a look. OK. 804 00:34:12,160 --> 00:34:14,600 We're going to start with Rosie and Randy. 805 00:34:14,680 --> 00:34:15,840 Here we go. 806 00:34:15,920 --> 00:34:17,080 SHE LAUGHS 807 00:34:17,160 --> 00:34:21,000 They're in a different order. 808 00:34:21,080 --> 00:34:28,160 You sneaky little toerag. 809 00:34:28,240 --> 00:34:29,320 HE CHUCKLES 810 00:34:29,400 --> 00:34:31,480 Well, I did quite badly on this first time around, to be honest. 811 00:34:31,560 --> 00:34:33,560 HE LAUGHS 812 00:34:35,320 --> 00:34:37,320 Colonel! 813 00:34:37,400 --> 00:34:39,080 BUZZER, LAUGHTER 814 00:34:39,160 --> 00:34:41,200 This one was Izzy. I remember that one. 815 00:34:41,280 --> 00:34:44,920 DING! With the...the head injury. 816 00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:47,840 She was one word. 817 00:34:47,920 --> 00:34:49,640 Beard. BUZZER 818 00:34:49,720 --> 00:34:51,720 Hair. BUZZER 819 00:34:53,640 --> 00:34:55,560 Egg. BUZZER 820 00:34:55,640 --> 00:34:57,640 LAUGHTER 821 00:34:59,440 --> 00:35:00,400 That seems too obvious. 822 00:35:00,480 --> 00:35:01,680 Ahoy. BUZZER 823 00:35:01,760 --> 00:35:02,960 Yam Yam. 824 00:35:03,040 --> 00:35:04,120 BUZZER 825 00:35:04,200 --> 00:35:06,240 That was Flight Commander Biggles. 826 00:35:06,320 --> 00:35:07,440 BUZZER 827 00:35:07,520 --> 00:35:08,920 Shaggy. BUZZER 828 00:35:09,000 --> 00:35:10,520 Doggy. BUZZER 829 00:35:10,600 --> 00:35:12,080 Uh, Marilyn. BUZZER 830 00:35:12,160 --> 00:35:13,480 Dina. DING! 831 00:35:13,560 --> 00:35:16,280 That is definitely Duncan Goodhew. 832 00:35:16,360 --> 00:35:17,520 BUZZER, LAUGHTER 833 00:35:17,600 --> 00:35:20,720 What was my song? 834 00:35:20,800 --> 00:35:24,120 Oh! Dina! 835 00:35:26,400 --> 00:35:27,960 ALEX BLOWS WHISTLE 836 00:35:28,040 --> 00:35:29,720 ALEX BLOWS WHISTLE Thanks, Andy. 837 00:35:29,800 --> 00:35:31,360 All right. You didn't get a duck. 838 00:35:31,440 --> 00:35:34,840 No. No, but in some ways, getting one is worse than getting none. 839 00:35:34,920 --> 00:35:37,200 There's a dignity in total failure. 840 00:35:37,280 --> 00:35:39,280 LAUGHTER 841 00:35:40,760 --> 00:35:42,760 APPLAUSE 842 00:35:45,640 --> 00:35:49,120 So, Andy only ended up getting one. Previously, he had five. 843 00:35:49,200 --> 00:35:50,760 Mm-hm. He only remembered one, in the end. 844 00:35:50,840 --> 00:35:52,000 Just it's quite hard to... 845 00:35:52,080 --> 00:35:54,080 I mean, I felt quite triggered by that. By what? 846 00:35:54,160 --> 00:35:57,880 It was very similar to the jury in...the trial. 847 00:35:57,960 --> 00:35:59,840 Uh, but look, I don't want to go into that in too much detail. 848 00:35:59,920 --> 00:36:01,320 LAUGHTER 849 00:36:01,400 --> 00:36:03,000 Who are Yam Yam and Shaggy? 850 00:36:03,080 --> 00:36:04,440 Were they...? LAUGHTER 851 00:36:04,520 --> 00:36:07,080 Were Yam Yam and Shaggy original characters? 852 00:36:07,160 --> 00:36:09,560 No, Yam Yam and Shaggy came from Rosie's brain. 853 00:36:09,640 --> 00:36:11,320 Yeah. Uh, Andy came up with Biggles, 854 00:36:11,400 --> 00:36:13,080 Veldorama, Baldy, Doggy, and Marilyn. 855 00:36:13,160 --> 00:36:15,080 LAUGHTER Yeah. OK. 856 00:36:15,160 --> 00:36:16,560 Time to break for the last time. 857 00:36:16,640 --> 00:36:20,120 In the final part of the show, someone will win a harness, 858 00:36:20,200 --> 00:36:21,840 a clock, a Viking hat, 859 00:36:21,920 --> 00:36:23,480 a Guy Fawkes effigy, 860 00:36:23,560 --> 00:36:25,680 and have to carry it home in a coffin. 861 00:36:26,880 --> 00:36:29,440 What's the point? We'll see you soon. 862 00:36:29,520 --> 00:36:31,520 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 863 00:36:37,280 --> 00:36:39,160 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 864 00:36:39,240 --> 00:36:43,080 It's part four of four, and our cast have been tested 865 00:36:43,160 --> 00:36:45,760 to remember the names of ten fine people. 866 00:36:45,840 --> 00:36:48,960 Next, we're going to witness the memories of Baba and Jack, 867 00:36:49,040 --> 00:36:52,120 who has donned his hot dog outfit and will get double points. 868 00:36:52,200 --> 00:36:53,960 Here we go. 869 00:36:54,040 --> 00:36:56,440 HE SIGHS 870 00:36:56,520 --> 00:36:59,520 This is so wrong. OK. 871 00:36:59,600 --> 00:37:01,560 All right, let's try. 872 00:37:01,640 --> 00:37:03,720 Blanket. DING! 873 00:37:03,800 --> 00:37:04,840 I think that's the Colonel. 874 00:37:04,920 --> 00:37:06,040 DING! 875 00:37:06,120 --> 00:37:07,720 Chisel. DING! 876 00:37:07,800 --> 00:37:09,120 Reggie. DING! 877 00:37:09,200 --> 00:37:10,640 Gordo. DING! 878 00:37:10,720 --> 00:37:12,440 Izzy. DING! 879 00:37:12,520 --> 00:37:14,640 That had a patch on, didn't it? Uh, there's a patch there. 880 00:37:14,720 --> 00:37:17,040 That's, um... That's, uh, Grilly. 881 00:37:17,120 --> 00:37:18,520 Grilly? 882 00:37:18,600 --> 00:37:19,560 Blanket. DING! 883 00:37:19,640 --> 00:37:20,800 Izzy. DING! 884 00:37:20,880 --> 00:37:23,080 Oh, the... Like, what's it? Hanky Panky, or something like that? 885 00:37:23,160 --> 00:37:24,280 BUZZER Hold on. 886 00:37:24,360 --> 00:37:25,880 Wanky Smanky, or something. BUZZER 887 00:37:25,960 --> 00:37:27,160 LAUGHTER Uh... 888 00:37:27,240 --> 00:37:28,440 Chi...Chisel. DING! 889 00:37:28,520 --> 00:37:29,520 Chisel. 890 00:37:29,600 --> 00:37:31,680 Oh, there was Yanky Tank - that's her name. 891 00:37:31,760 --> 00:37:33,960 OK, now, who was Yanky Tank? 892 00:37:34,040 --> 00:37:36,080 Izzy. No, Dina. 893 00:37:36,160 --> 00:37:37,280 Dina. DING! 894 00:37:37,360 --> 00:37:38,760 I think this is Yanky Tank. 895 00:37:38,840 --> 00:37:40,160 No, no. That's Yanky Tank. 896 00:37:40,240 --> 00:37:41,440 That's Yanky Tank. 897 00:37:41,520 --> 00:37:42,520 Trev, or something? 898 00:37:42,600 --> 00:37:44,160 Trevor, or something like that? DING! 899 00:37:44,240 --> 00:37:45,560 The Corporal? 900 00:37:45,640 --> 00:37:46,880 BUZZER 901 00:37:46,960 --> 00:37:48,080 No, you're not the Corporal. 902 00:37:48,160 --> 00:37:49,200 You're the Corporal. 903 00:37:49,280 --> 00:37:50,680 BUZZER 904 00:37:50,760 --> 00:37:53,440 The two that I didn't get before have gone. 905 00:37:53,520 --> 00:37:55,320 Itzy Pitzy. 906 00:37:55,400 --> 00:37:56,720 BUZZER 907 00:37:56,800 --> 00:37:58,800 Ah... 908 00:37:59,120 --> 00:38:01,160 Still got two minutes left. What do you want to do? 909 00:38:01,240 --> 00:38:04,400 I'm going to do nothing, because I don't remember their names. 910 00:38:04,480 --> 00:38:05,520 LAUGHTER 911 00:38:05,600 --> 00:38:07,600 So, I might bust a little two-step. Come on. 912 00:38:07,680 --> 00:38:09,720 Done now. Oh! Eh! Oh! 913 00:38:09,800 --> 00:38:11,720 Bow! Bow! 914 00:38:11,800 --> 00:38:13,200 Ooh! 915 00:38:13,280 --> 00:38:15,600 You know what I'm saying? Yeah, write that down. 916 00:38:15,680 --> 00:38:17,080 When you bust a two-step... Yeah. 917 00:38:17,160 --> 00:38:18,640 ..add some flavour. LAUGHTER 918 00:38:18,720 --> 00:38:20,000 No, it's gone. It's... ALEX BLOWS WHISTLE 919 00:38:20,080 --> 00:38:22,080 Yeah. 920 00:38:27,520 --> 00:38:29,520 APPLAUSE 921 00:38:33,960 --> 00:38:36,440 Should, uh, Baba be rewarded for busting a two-step 922 00:38:36,520 --> 00:38:38,480 and adding some flavour? Yes! Yes! 923 00:38:38,560 --> 00:38:40,920 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE I don't give bonus points, 924 00:38:41,000 --> 00:38:43,920 but in my heart I am giving you a bonus point, cos I enjoyed it. 925 00:38:44,000 --> 00:38:46,600 Can I check? Jack said "Grilly" instead of "Grillsy". 926 00:38:46,680 --> 00:38:47,760 Is that close enough? 927 00:38:47,840 --> 00:38:49,640 And similar, "Yank Tank" and "Yanky Tank"? 928 00:38:49,720 --> 00:38:51,480 I think maybe we should give him one of them. Thank you. 929 00:38:51,560 --> 00:38:55,320 Baba remembered six out of the ten. Jack, seven out of the ten. 930 00:38:55,400 --> 00:38:57,840 Not bad. Not bad at all. But there is one more to see. 931 00:38:57,920 --> 00:39:00,440 Yes. It is Emma Sidi, 932 00:39:00,520 --> 00:39:03,120 or to use her full name, Emma Compact Disc. 933 00:39:03,200 --> 00:39:05,200 LAUGHTER Here she is. 934 00:39:05,880 --> 00:39:07,880 I'm taking the gloves off for this. 935 00:39:07,960 --> 00:39:09,600 The Colonel. DING! 936 00:39:09,680 --> 00:39:11,160 Chisel. Dina. DING! DING! 937 00:39:11,240 --> 00:39:12,920 Trev. Reggie. DING! DING! 938 00:39:13,000 --> 00:39:14,240 Blanket. DING! 939 00:39:14,320 --> 00:39:15,560 Uh, Tamzin Outhwaite. Tamzin. 940 00:39:15,640 --> 00:39:17,720 BUZZER, LAUGHTER 941 00:39:17,800 --> 00:39:19,720 This one's new! 942 00:39:19,800 --> 00:39:21,800 OK. 943 00:39:27,040 --> 00:39:28,040 Jemima. 944 00:39:28,120 --> 00:39:29,160 BUZZER 945 00:39:29,240 --> 00:39:30,760 I know it's not that, but I'm really stuck. 946 00:39:30,840 --> 00:39:32,800 Um... 947 00:39:32,880 --> 00:39:35,280 SHE GASPS You've got little piccies! 948 00:39:35,360 --> 00:39:38,080 You bastard! Look at these. 949 00:39:38,160 --> 00:39:39,760 Who...? Who have you found? Chisel. 950 00:39:39,840 --> 00:39:41,120 Oh, you knew that one. 951 00:39:41,200 --> 00:39:43,200 Yeah, I know. I don't need that. 952 00:39:44,640 --> 00:39:45,720 Grillsy! 953 00:39:45,800 --> 00:39:47,800 DING! 954 00:39:50,320 --> 00:39:52,360 The Yank Tank. 955 00:39:52,440 --> 00:39:53,520 Got it. Yank Tank. 956 00:39:53,600 --> 00:39:55,720 DING! 957 00:39:55,800 --> 00:39:57,720 Gordo! Oh! 958 00:39:57,800 --> 00:39:59,480 Gordo. DING! 959 00:39:59,560 --> 00:40:01,240 You're just missing Tamzin Outhwaite, is that right? 960 00:40:01,320 --> 00:40:02,800 Yes. Yes, yes, yes. 961 00:40:02,880 --> 00:40:05,160 Tamzin. Got a minute left. 962 00:40:08,560 --> 00:40:10,560 Izzy! Izzy! Izzy! Izzy! 963 00:40:10,880 --> 00:40:12,360 DING! Izzy! 964 00:40:12,440 --> 00:40:14,120 That was exciting. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 965 00:40:14,200 --> 00:40:17,480 I'm glad I took my gloves off for that. I needed to be bare. 966 00:40:20,240 --> 00:40:21,400 Genuinely impressive. 967 00:40:21,480 --> 00:40:23,560 Already impressive before you cracked the code 968 00:40:23,640 --> 00:40:25,560 and found Alex's nerdy little system. 969 00:40:25,640 --> 00:40:26,600 Yeah, thanks, guys. 970 00:40:26,680 --> 00:40:28,400 But she had, like Baba, two minutes to spare 971 00:40:28,480 --> 00:40:30,520 and thought there must be something else here, and there was. 972 00:40:30,600 --> 00:40:32,760 Yeah, interesting. Two very different systems. 973 00:40:32,840 --> 00:40:34,080 "Two minutes to spare. 974 00:40:34,160 --> 00:40:36,920 "There must be something else I can investigate here." 975 00:40:37,000 --> 00:40:38,640 Yeah. "I'm going to bust a two-step." 976 00:40:38,720 --> 00:40:40,720 LAUGHTER 977 00:40:40,800 --> 00:40:42,040 Right, then. OK. 978 00:40:42,120 --> 00:40:44,800 Andy and Rosie both only remembered one person, 979 00:40:44,880 --> 00:40:46,560 so they share fourth place. 980 00:40:46,640 --> 00:40:49,320 They get two points each. Baba comes third, gets three points. 981 00:40:49,400 --> 00:40:51,400 Jack comes second, but gets eight points... 982 00:40:51,480 --> 00:40:52,600 EMMA GASPS 983 00:40:52,680 --> 00:40:54,680 ..because of the very wise hot dog choice. 984 00:40:54,760 --> 00:40:57,520 Emma wins the task. Five points to Emma Sidi. 985 00:40:57,600 --> 00:40:59,680 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 986 00:41:01,520 --> 00:41:03,320 Quick look at the scores, then. 987 00:41:03,400 --> 00:41:07,280 Yes. The hot dog is in the lead. 17 points. First place, Jack Dee. 988 00:41:07,360 --> 00:41:08,640 Nice. 989 00:41:08,720 --> 00:41:10,720 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 990 00:41:13,520 --> 00:41:15,880 OK, it's time for you to make your way to the stage 991 00:41:15,960 --> 00:41:17,800 for the final task of the show. 992 00:41:17,880 --> 00:41:19,880 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 993 00:41:23,680 --> 00:41:24,640 Hello, old friend. 994 00:41:24,720 --> 00:41:25,760 I'm over here. 995 00:41:25,840 --> 00:41:27,280 And, who will be reading the task out? 996 00:41:27,360 --> 00:41:28,480 Rosie Jones, please. 997 00:41:28,560 --> 00:41:30,600 Rosie Jones, take it away. 998 00:41:30,680 --> 00:41:38,120 "Spin the wheel the same number of times 999 00:41:38,200 --> 00:41:44,080 "or more as the person before you. 1000 00:41:44,160 --> 00:41:50,360 "If you land on gold, you are automatically 1001 00:41:50,440 --> 00:41:53,600 "through to the next round 1002 00:41:53,680 --> 00:42:01,400 "and the next person has to spin it one more time 1003 00:42:01,480 --> 00:42:05,760 "than the previous person." 1004 00:42:05,840 --> 00:42:07,320 It will become clear as we play. 1005 00:42:07,400 --> 00:42:09,000 Andy, please come over to the wheel. 1006 00:42:09,080 --> 00:42:11,200 It just needs a...a medium spin. 1007 00:42:11,280 --> 00:42:12,920 If you stand sort of where I'm standing 1008 00:42:13,000 --> 00:42:14,160 but the other side, that would be... 1009 00:42:14,240 --> 00:42:16,360 Oh, what are you doing? Are you checking the integrity of the wheel? 1010 00:42:16,440 --> 00:42:18,600 Well, just the physics of it. You know, how it's... 1011 00:42:18,680 --> 00:42:20,240 How it's going to spin. It's a wheel. 1012 00:42:20,320 --> 00:42:21,360 Right. 1013 00:42:21,440 --> 00:42:23,440 LAUGHTER 1014 00:42:26,680 --> 00:42:29,720 Lovely spin. Lovely spin. AUDIENCE AND CONTESTANTS: Ohh! 1015 00:42:31,120 --> 00:42:33,080 AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS That's red.Red. 1016 00:42:33,160 --> 00:42:34,160 Andy, I have to ask you, 1017 00:42:34,240 --> 00:42:36,360 do you want to spin again or do you want to stick on one? 1018 00:42:36,440 --> 00:42:38,080 Uh, I'll spin again. ALL: Ooh! 1019 00:42:38,160 --> 00:42:40,640 If this lands on black, you're eliminated. 1020 00:42:40,720 --> 00:42:42,040 That's a hefty one. 1021 00:42:42,120 --> 00:42:43,680 That's more like it. That's in the spirit of the game. 1022 00:42:43,760 --> 00:42:45,360 Beautiful action again. Thanks. 1023 00:42:45,440 --> 00:42:46,840 So, we're hoping this lands on red. 1024 00:42:46,920 --> 00:42:48,640 Otherwise, we lose Andy Zaltzman. AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS 1025 00:42:48,720 --> 00:42:50,720 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 1026 00:42:52,120 --> 00:42:53,200 Who's next? 1027 00:42:53,280 --> 00:42:54,440 Baba is next, and he must land 1028 00:42:54,520 --> 00:42:56,840 two in a row in the same colour. 1029 00:42:59,480 --> 00:43:02,360 AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS, CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 1030 00:43:02,440 --> 00:43:04,760 Wow. You're through. Come on. 1031 00:43:04,840 --> 00:43:06,280 You've got to spin it three times 1032 00:43:06,360 --> 00:43:08,440 and get the same colour every time, unless you get gold. 1033 00:43:08,520 --> 00:43:11,080 All right. LAUGHTER 1034 00:43:11,160 --> 00:43:12,680 Uh... SHE GRUNTS 1035 00:43:12,760 --> 00:43:14,560 Lovely. Yeah. 1036 00:43:14,640 --> 00:43:16,840 Lovely passionate grunt. 1037 00:43:18,480 --> 00:43:21,160 AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS, CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 1038 00:43:22,360 --> 00:43:23,320 Jack, you've got to get 1039 00:43:23,400 --> 00:43:24,800 the same colour four times in a row. 1040 00:43:24,880 --> 00:43:26,240 LAUGHTER 1041 00:43:26,320 --> 00:43:27,880 I'm going to go the other way. 1042 00:43:27,960 --> 00:43:29,240 What?! 1043 00:43:29,320 --> 00:43:30,800 Oh, yeah. 1044 00:43:30,880 --> 00:43:32,880 LAUGHTER 1045 00:43:35,080 --> 00:43:37,560 AUDIENCE AND CONTESTANTS: Ooh! 1046 00:43:38,600 --> 00:43:39,560 Oh, no. 1047 00:43:39,640 --> 00:43:41,840 AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS, CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 1048 00:43:46,640 --> 00:43:48,120 Oh, shut up. 1049 00:43:48,200 --> 00:43:49,920 AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS, CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 1050 00:43:50,000 --> 00:43:51,480 Yeah! That is red. 1051 00:43:51,560 --> 00:43:52,520 That is red. 1052 00:43:52,600 --> 00:43:53,560 No! 1053 00:43:53,640 --> 00:43:54,960 Don't touch it. Red. 1054 00:43:55,040 --> 00:43:57,720 You've only got to get four more reds. What's the big deal? 1055 00:43:57,800 --> 00:43:59,800 Or any gold. Right. 1056 00:44:03,400 --> 00:44:05,600 AUDIENCE: Ohh! 1057 00:44:05,680 --> 00:44:07,640 BUZZER, AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS 1058 00:44:07,720 --> 00:44:10,440 Wait in the elimination chairs. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 1059 00:44:10,520 --> 00:44:12,520 Well done. 1060 00:44:13,680 --> 00:44:14,840 I remember you. Oh, no. 1061 00:44:14,920 --> 00:44:16,200 LAUGHTER 1062 00:44:16,280 --> 00:44:19,040 Oh, lovely. LAUGHTER 1063 00:44:19,120 --> 00:44:20,840 The cartwheel. 1064 00:44:20,920 --> 00:44:22,400 Red. Red. APPLAUSE 1065 00:44:22,480 --> 00:44:24,480 Yeah, they like that. They like that. 1066 00:44:26,760 --> 00:44:30,280 LAUGHTER AND INDISTINCT CHATTER 1067 00:44:31,840 --> 00:44:33,440 BUZZER, AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS 1068 00:44:33,520 --> 00:44:35,880 Andy Zaltzman gets two points. 1069 00:44:37,360 --> 00:44:39,360 We need five, Baba. Five, yeah? 1070 00:44:41,680 --> 00:44:43,440 Come on. 1071 00:44:43,520 --> 00:44:45,360 No, not you bro, this. Ohh! 1072 00:44:45,440 --> 00:44:47,440 AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS, CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 1073 00:44:48,480 --> 00:44:50,320 How many? It's six please, Emma. 1074 00:44:50,400 --> 00:44:51,960 Fair enough. 1075 00:44:52,040 --> 00:44:54,040 Ah! 1076 00:44:54,600 --> 00:44:55,720 Come on, come on. 1077 00:44:55,800 --> 00:44:56,880 Red. Red. 1078 00:44:56,960 --> 00:44:58,760 APPLAUSE Five more reds. Red or gold. 1079 00:44:58,840 --> 00:45:00,000 Come on. 1080 00:45:00,080 --> 00:45:01,400 AUDIENCE: Ohh! 1081 00:45:01,480 --> 00:45:02,760 Just a little bit...Four more. APPLAUSE 1082 00:45:02,840 --> 00:45:04,640 Four more? Four more. Ah! 1083 00:45:04,720 --> 00:45:05,960 AUDIENCE: Ohh! 1084 00:45:06,040 --> 00:45:07,240 AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS, CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 1085 00:45:07,320 --> 00:45:09,000 Three more. Brilliant. 1086 00:45:09,080 --> 00:45:10,840 Come on! 1087 00:45:10,920 --> 00:45:13,160 Right. Come on. 1088 00:45:13,240 --> 00:45:15,040 AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS, CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 1089 00:45:15,120 --> 00:45:16,600 Come on now! Come on. 1090 00:45:16,680 --> 00:45:18,760 Pray to Jesus. LAUGHTER 1091 00:45:20,240 --> 00:45:22,240 AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS, CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 1092 00:45:23,400 --> 00:45:25,000 You require seven. 1093 00:45:25,080 --> 00:45:27,080 OK, here we go. OK. 1094 00:45:29,120 --> 00:45:31,520 AUDIENCE: Ohh! 1095 00:45:31,600 --> 00:45:34,880 Ooh. That's red. That's red. 1096 00:45:34,960 --> 00:45:36,960 Anti-clockwise. 1097 00:45:37,880 --> 00:45:39,560 BUZZER, AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS 1098 00:45:39,640 --> 00:45:41,080 Jack Dee, three points. 1099 00:45:41,160 --> 00:45:43,920 OK. Baba, you require seven. 1100 00:45:44,000 --> 00:45:46,800 OK. Cool. 1101 00:45:47,960 --> 00:45:49,960 Gold, gold, gold, gold! 1102 00:45:50,040 --> 00:45:52,040 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Yes. 1103 00:45:53,040 --> 00:45:54,920 You need eight... Fair enough. ..in a row. 1104 00:45:55,000 --> 00:45:57,000 SHE GRUNTS 1105 00:46:00,160 --> 00:46:01,800 Black, Emma. Come on! 1106 00:46:01,880 --> 00:46:03,280 Yeah. The lucky "come on" is back. 1107 00:46:03,360 --> 00:46:05,360 LAUGHTER Yeah. 1108 00:46:05,760 --> 00:46:06,960 AUDIENCE: Ohh! 1109 00:46:07,040 --> 00:46:08,280 AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS 1110 00:46:08,360 --> 00:46:11,080 We have a winner, and that winner is Babatunde Aleshe! 1111 00:46:11,160 --> 00:46:12,880 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 1112 00:46:12,960 --> 00:46:15,560 Yes! Yes! 1113 00:46:15,640 --> 00:46:17,560 You can have a little two-step, if you want. 1114 00:46:17,640 --> 00:46:19,000 What?! LAUGHTER 1115 00:46:19,080 --> 00:46:21,360 Hey, come down. We'll add it to the final scores. 1116 00:46:21,440 --> 00:46:23,440 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 1117 00:46:27,560 --> 00:46:30,360 Babatunde won the five points. Well done, Baba. 1118 00:46:30,440 --> 00:46:32,440 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 1119 00:46:35,000 --> 00:46:36,520 And it has really paid dividends for Baba, 1120 00:46:36,600 --> 00:46:37,720 because he's come second last. 1121 00:46:37,800 --> 00:46:38,800 LAUGHTER 1122 00:46:38,880 --> 00:46:40,760 At the top of the leader board, with 20 points, it's Jack Dee. 1123 00:46:40,840 --> 00:46:44,040 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Jack Dee wins episode 2! 1124 00:46:44,120 --> 00:46:47,840 Please go and celebrate with your serious yet silly things! 1125 00:46:47,920 --> 00:46:49,600 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Thank you. 1126 00:46:49,680 --> 00:46:50,840 See you again very soon, 1127 00:46:50,920 --> 00:46:54,520 but for now, let's hear it for tonight's winner, Jack Dee! 1128 00:46:54,600 --> 00:46:56,600 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 1129 00:47:06,040 --> 00:47:08,880 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE CONTINUES 1130 00:47:12,520 --> 00:47:14,520 CHEERING DROWNS SPEECH 1131 00:47:20,360 --> 00:47:22,360 Subtitles by Red Bee Media78616

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