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{\an8}本字幕由 {\c&H26F4FF&}ShinY {\c&HFFAE1A&}深影字幕组{\c&HFFFFFF&} 原创翻译制作
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{\an8}深影字幕组论坛地址 {\c&H26F4FF&}http://shinybbs.com
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{\an8}{\c&H26F4FF&}翻译： {\c&HFFFFFF&}散步的孩子 符号看象限 jimbert HTC YU 翻炒番茄
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{\an8}{\c&H26F4FF&}校对： {\c&HFFFFFF&}被Poop打败了 {\c&H26F4FF&}后期： {\c&HFFFFFF&}榆木脑袋
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好的 你开始录了吗?
Good. Are you on?
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{\an8}电影四十三
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是的 开始了
Yeah, we're ready.
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我是卡尔文·卡特勒
My name is Calvin Cutler.
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诸位将见证史上最恶搞
What you're about to witness is the most badass,
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最奇葩的一幕
fucked-up thing you'll ever see.
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我们称之为"正中靶心"
We call this the "Bull's Eye."
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噢 对了 千万别自己在家尝试
Oh, yeah. Don't try this at home.
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你准备好了吗? 好的 预备
You're good? You ready, buddy? All right. Right, ready?
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一... 二... 三!
One... two... three!
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告诉我成功了
Tell me we got it. Just...
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成功了吗? 不 不可能 我们成功了!
Did we? No! No way, we got it!
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怎么可能 伙计!
No fucking way, dude!
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- 我们成功了! 成功了! - 天啊!
- We got it! We got it! We got... - Oh, shit!
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看哪! 看啊! 伙计 正中靶心 兄弟!
Look at that! Look at that! Dude. Bull's eye, bro!
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太棒了!
Awesome!
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我们要把它传到网上去! 快去!
We're putting it on YouTube! Let's go! Yeah!
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伙计 有一个人浏览了!
Dude, we got a view!
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伙计 那是我们自己上传时留下的
Yeah, buddy, that was us when we uploaded it.
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那就再上传一遍 能有涨到两次浏览
Well, then upload it again so we can have two views.
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我... 我觉得这样做没用
I... I don't think that's how it works.
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- 点"刷新" 伙计 - 好的
- Hit "refresh," dude. - Oh, yeah.
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- 不会吧 - 不可能吧
- No way. - That can't be right.
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- 再点一下 - 我点刷新了
- Do me a favor. - I just refreshed it.
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看看是不是有涨
Let's see if it pulls up.
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天哪 两万五千次浏览 伙计!
No way. Twenty-five thousand views, man!
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五十万!
Five hundred thousand!
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- 一百万? 帅! - 点击率爆棚了!
- One million? Yes! - You're too money!
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我就说我们会出名的
I told you we're gonna be famous.
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我们出名了...
We're gonna be famous and...
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愚人节快乐 蠢货们!
April fools, suckers!
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我擅自仿制了视频网 虚报视频浏览量
I took the liberty of cloning YouTube and hyper-inflating your views.
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你... 你这小混蛋!
...You... You little shit!
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你刚刚想通过电脑屏幕打我?
Did you just try to hit me through your computer screen?
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是的 没错
Yeah, I did!
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你为什么不过来直接让我揍 娘炮!
Why don't you come in here so I can hit you like a real man, pussy!
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我还有科学项目要做 你们慢慢欣赏点击率吧
Working on my science project. Enjoy your page views.
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天哪 他真是个熊孩子!
God, he's such a little spaz!
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- 我们要报仇 - 是的
- We need revenge. - We do.
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- 我们得用恶作剧整他 - 没错
- We need to April fools prank him. - Yeah!
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- 痛击他的要害 - 好好调教他
- Hit him where it hurts. - Square in his balls.
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不! 我们得更狠一点
No! We gotta do something better.
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我们去偷他的电脑 把它装满病毒
We steal his computer and load it full of viruses.
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等等 去哪找病毒?
Wait, where do we get viruses?
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二货! 上黄网啊
Uh, duh! Porn sites.
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你也不想想我电脑为什么这么慢?
Why do you think my computer's so slow?
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还不都是因为病毒太多
It's full of 'em.
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好吧 电脑在他的房间 我们怎么搞到手?
Oh, okay, but how-how do we get his laptop if it's in his room?
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我们不能直接闯进去把电脑偷出来
We can't just-just kick in the door and steal it.
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你该怎么引蛇出洞?
How do you lure a dragon out of a lion's den?
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我不知道
I don't know.
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- 给他个挑战 - 挑战?
- You present him with a challenge. - Challenge?
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挑战 看我眼色行事
A challenge. Jus... Follow my lead.
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巴克斯特! 巴克斯特 伙计!
Baxter! Baxter, my man!
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什么事?
What?
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我和J.J.有个电脑方面的问题
Uh, me and J.J., we have this computer problem.
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网上有一部电影我们找不到
There's this movie on the Internet and we can't find it.
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你能来帮我们吗?
Can you help us?
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你想为了刚才那事整我 是吗?
You're trying to get back at me for that prank, right?
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00:03:29,544 --> 00:03:32,054
- 不! 这事过去了! - 过去了
- No! Truce! - Truce.
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00:03:32,055 --> 00:03:33,588
说真的 我们...
Seriously, we just, uh...
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我们想在联邦调查局封杀之前找到它
we need to find it, uh, before the FBI takes it down.
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你说联邦调查局?
You said the FBI?
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该死的联邦调查局 中情局
Fucking FBI, the CIA...
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犯罪现场调查科 海军罪案调查处...
The CSI, NCIS...
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我的意思是 这部电影是非法的
I mean, this video is so illegal,
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全世界每个国家都把它列为禁片
it has been banned by every country in the world.
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阿姆斯特丹也不例外
Including Amsterdam.
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就那个警察被人猥亵欺辱后
Where you could slap a cop in the face with your penis,
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都要说"谢谢"的地方
and they'd say, "danka."
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阿姆斯特丹不是个国家!
Amsterdam is not a country!
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阿姆斯特丹不是个国家?
Amsterdam's not a country?
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什么时候的事?
Since when?
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这电影在那里总归是个禁片 伙计
The shit's still banned there, dude.
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是的 你想想 它...它就像...
Yeah. Think about it. They... it's... it's like it's the... the... the fucking...
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世界上最危险的电影
It's the most dangerous film in the world.
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- 是的 - 这电影叫什么?
- It is. - What's it called?
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其实 你知道吗 巴克斯特? 你是对的
Actually, you know what, Baxter? You're right.
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这确实是愚人节恶作剧
It was an April Fool's prank.
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很抱歉耍了你
I'm sorry we brought you into this.
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00:04:17,592 --> 00:04:19,593
你还是...
You know, you should probably just...
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该干嘛干嘛去 别再想这事 求你了
go on with your life and never think about this again. Please.
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等等
Wait.
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这电影为什么这么危险?
What's so bad about it?
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你不会想知道的
You don't wanna know.
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00:04:27,435 --> 00:04:28,770
为什么这么危险?
What's so bad about it?
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嘿 兄弟! 这电影为什么这么危险?
Hey, slim! What's so bad about it?
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- 能害死你 - 怎么害死我?
- It can kill you. - How?
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能吓得你屎尿横流
It can make you shit out your intestines.
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还能让你七窍流血
It can make you bleed out of your eyes.
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有个人看了之后
You know, one guy saw it,
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就跑进一座教堂猥亵那里的修女
and he ran into a church, and he just started humping the nuns.
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00:04:45,328 --> 00:04:47,329
几年前 这可是桩大事
That was a huge story a few years back.
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这电影能让人恨不得自残
It can make you pull off your own dick.
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00:04:49,207 --> 00:04:50,791
好吧 如果它会让人自残
Okay, why would you want to watch it...
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00:04:50,792 --> 00:04:52,334
你们为什么还要看?
if it can make you pull off your own dick?
101
00:04:52,335 --> 00:04:53,461
那是因为...
Because...
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如果你从头到尾看完整部电影
If you can watch it all the way through from the beginning to end,
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你就会得到意想不到的奖赏
you're rewarded beyond your wildest dreams.
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金钱 性 女人
With money. And sex. And women.
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就像午夜凶铃那个电影 但会有个好的结局
It's like that movie The Ring, but with a good ending.
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- 是 还有美胸 - 各种波涛胸涌
- Yeah. And boobs. - Lots of boobs.
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那这电影叫什么?
So what's this movie called?
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电影
Movie.
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- 四十三 - 电影四十三
- Forty-three. - Movie forty-three.
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祖歌上搜不到
It's not on Zwoogle.
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是啊 祖歌当然搜不到 它被禁了!
Yeah, of course it's not on Zwoogle. It's banned!
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好吧 那我猜我们得深入挖掘了
Okay. Then I guess we'll need to dig deeper.
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访问一些互联网上的阴暗角落
Visit some dark corners of the Internet.
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恩 是的 阴暗角落 伙计
Mm, yeah, the dark corners, dude.
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是的 深入挖掘 我们得找到它
Yeah, get in there. We gotta find this thing.
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我找到一个有很多禁片的隐藏服务器
I found a cloaked server that houses banned videos.
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先试试列表的第四十三个电影 怎么样?
Start out with the forty-third one on the list. Sound good?
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好的 你们继续找
Yes! Yeah, you guys keep working on this.
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我去望风 看看有没有联邦调查局
I'm gonna go guard the door for the uh, FBI,
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00:05:54,689 --> 00:05:56,691
中情局 老妈什么的
the CIA, and Mom.
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00:05:57,567 --> 00:05:59,318
看这个 我们看看
Look at this. Check it out.
122
00:06:00,736 --> 00:06:03,447
噢! 你真美
Hey. Ooh! You look good.
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00:06:03,573 --> 00:06:05,740
但愿你快准备好了 他随时都有可能到
Hope you're almost ready. He's gonna be here any second.
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00:06:05,741 --> 00:06:07,803
我不知道我为什么要这么做 帕姆
I don't know why I'm doing this, Pam.
125
00:06:07,804 --> 00:06:08,577
我不相信朱莉
I don't trust Julie.
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00:06:08,578 --> 00:06:11,147
如果这家伙是个废物怎么办?
I mean, what if this guy's a loser?
127
00:06:11,148 --> 00:06:12,205
他不是废物
He's not a loser.
128
00:06:12,206 --> 00:06:14,124
他二十八岁的时候
He made senior partner at his law firm by the time he was,
129
00:06:14,125 --> 00:06:15,209
就成了他律师事务所的高级合伙人
like, twenty-eight.
130
00:06:15,334 --> 00:06:17,587
所以他只在乎他的工作和钱
So all he cares about is his career and money.
131
00:06:18,337 --> 00:06:21,590
朱莉可没这么说 他是特奥会的志愿者
Mm, not according to Julie. He's a volunteer with the Special Olympics,
132
00:06:21,591 --> 00:06:23,551
他是纽约爱乐乐团的董事会成员
he's on the board of the New York Philharmonic...
133
00:06:23,634 --> 00:06:25,720
他和德瑞克·基特合伙开了一家新的餐厅
He's opening a new restaurant with Derek Jeter!
134
00:06:26,137 --> 00:06:28,763
但他可能长着一副令人尴尬的呆板脸
But he's probably got one of those awkward character faces...
135
00:06:28,764 --> 00:06:31,350
就是你有几分偏爱的那种 是吗?
that sort of really has to grow on you, right?
136
00:06:32,602 --> 00:06:36,355
"呆板脸"先生上歌谭杂志的封面了
Mr. "Character Face" is on the cover of Gotham Magazine.
137
00:06:37,607 --> 00:06:39,567
- 那就是他? - 是的
- That's him? - That's him.
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00:06:42,486 --> 00:06:43,571
就是他
Yeah.
139
00:06:47,366 --> 00:06:48,491
他来了 去吧
And he's here. Go.
140
00:06:48,492 --> 00:06:50,076
- 我看上去还好? - 美极了
- Do I look okay? - Gorgeous.
141
00:06:50,077 --> 00:06:51,328
- 真的? - 玩的开心!
- You sure? - Have fun!
142
00:06:51,329 --> 00:06:52,455
再见!
Bye!
143
00:06:57,376 --> 00:06:58,752
- 你开玩笑吧 - 其中几个
- I mean, you gotta be kidding. - Several of them.
144
00:06:58,753 --> 00:07:02,088
要我说 没试过就没资格批评电视购物
I'm telling you, don't knock shopping on TV until you've tried it.
145
00:07:02,089 --> 00:07:03,757
贝思 我想你是我见过的第一个
Beth, I think-I think you're the first person I've ever met...
146
00:07:03,758 --> 00:07:05,175
真会去电视购物的人
who actually buys stuff off television.
147
00:07:05,176 --> 00:07:06,376
- 不可能! 别骗人了! - 不 是真的
- No! Come on! - No, it's true.
148
00:07:06,510 --> 00:07:08,511
噢 那你觉得我从哪买的这条围巾?
Oh, well where do you think I got this scarf?
149
00:07:08,512 --> 00:07:11,389
知道吗? 我敢打赌肯定比你的那条柔软
And you know what? I bet it's softer than yours.
150
00:07:11,390 --> 00:07:13,266
好吧 这可是我的底线
Okay. See, that's where I draw the line.
151
00:07:13,267 --> 00:07:15,101
决不允许贬低我的围巾(不许摘下围巾)
Do not start putting down the scarf.
152
00:07:15,102 --> 00:07:17,604
来 你摸摸看 百分百帕什米纳山羊绒
Here. Feel this. One-hundred percent pashmina.
153
00:07:17,605 --> 00:07:19,773
至少街上那家伙是这么告诉我的
Well, at least that's what the guy on the street told me.
154
00:07:19,774 --> 00:07:22,692
那我看看 哇哦 确实挺软的 可我...
Come on, then. Wow, that is soft. Well, you know, I...
155
00:07:22,693 --> 00:07:25,488
嘿 H先生 餐桌准备好了 先生
Hey, Mr. H. Table's ready, sir.
156
00:07:25,613 --> 00:07:26,656
很好
Great.
157
00:07:27,114 --> 00:07:28,532
- 我来保管这些吧 - 谢谢
- I'll take those. - Thank you.
158
00:07:29,116 --> 00:07:30,283
- 请 - 我们的桌子准备好了
- Please. - Our table's ready.
159
00:07:30,284 --> 00:07:31,285
谢谢
Thank you.
160
00:07:31,410 --> 00:07:32,495
你先请
After you.
161
00:07:35,498 --> 00:07:40,419
凯莉告诉我你给孩子设计衣服 是吗?
So, um, Carrie tells me you design clothes for kids. No?
162
00:07:40,544 --> 00:07:42,672
是的 童装 我设计...
Yes. Clothes for kids. I design...
163
00:07:43,631 --> 00:07:46,383
衣服... 给孩子穿 童装
clothes... for kids. Kids clothes.
164
00:07:46,384 --> 00:07:47,676
很好 很好
Awesome. Awesome.
165
00:07:47,677 --> 00:07:50,010
今夏如果我看到有孩子穿着古怪
So, if I see some kids looking weird this summer,
166
00:07:50,011 --> 00:07:51,722
也许就是你的错 是不?
it may be your fault, huh?
167
00:07:53,516 --> 00:07:55,142
我开玩笑的 开玩笑
I'm just joking. I'm just joking.
168
00:07:55,726 --> 00:07:58,103
你的俄式标准伏特加 先生
Your Russian Standard Vodka, sir.
169
00:07:58,104 --> 00:07:59,689
你这么容易就能猜到我要什么吗 艾比?
Am I that predictable, Abby?
170
00:08:01,691 --> 00:08:03,525
你喝这个吗? 还是喝红酒什么的?
Eh... Yeah, you good with that? Or would you prefer a glass of wine or...?
171
00:08:03,526 --> 00:08:07,530
不 不用 我... 是需要来一杯
No. No, I... I could, use it.
172
00:08:07,571 --> 00:08:08,698
谢谢
Thank you.
173
00:08:11,283 --> 00:08:14,328
那么 敬这个美妙的夜晚 干杯
So, here's to a, Here's to a wonderful evening. Cheers.
174
00:08:16,122 --> 00:08:17,456
干杯
Cheers.
175
00:08:22,003 --> 00:08:23,546
俄罗斯人的酒真不错
Those Russians know something.
176
00:08:26,549 --> 00:08:29,593
这里... 挺不错的
This is... a nice place.
177
00:08:29,719 --> 00:08:31,220
噢 这里很棒 这里...
Oh, it's great. This pl...
178
00:08:31,221 --> 00:08:32,722
噢 你应该看看这里的天花板
Oh, you gotta check out the ceiling.
179
00:08:32,805 --> 00:08:34,723
这些横梁是取自于...
Those beams were taken out...
180
00:08:34,724 --> 00:08:37,308
宾夕法尼亚郊外的老教友会林场
of this old Quaker meetinghouse out in rural Pennsylvania.
181
00:08:37,309 --> 00:08:41,731
你看 都是橡木的 挺不错的吧? 很漂亮
I mean, look. It's all oak. Isn't that something? It's gorgeous, huh?
182
00:08:42,523 --> 00:08:43,732
哇哦 杰克 这是什么?
Oh, wow, Jake. What's this?
183
00:08:43,733 --> 00:08:48,730
H先生 比利主厨献上的奶油浓汤
Well, Mr. H, this is a vichyssoise courtesy of Chef Billy.
184
00:08:48,738 --> 00:08:50,655
他听说你们今晚要来
Now, he heard that you guys were coming in tonight,
185
00:08:50,656 --> 00:08:53,408
所以他为你们专门准备了四道大餐
so he's put together a special four-course meal for you.
186
00:08:53,409 --> 00:08:54,744
龙虾没问题吧?
Lobster okay tonight?
187
00:08:55,077 --> 00:08:57,203
我当然没问题 只要你觉得好就行
That's okay with me if it's okay with you,
188
00:08:57,204 --> 00:08:58,998
除非你还想看看菜单另点
un-unless you wanna check out the menu.
189
00:08:59,248 --> 00:09:01,541
贝思? 你要看一下菜单吗 还是...?
Beth? Unless you wanna check out the menu, or...?
190
00:09:01,542 --> 00:09:03,502
- 不用 这挺好的 - 好的
- No, that's sounds lovely. - Right.
191
00:09:04,336 --> 00:09:05,336
很好
Terrific.
192
00:09:05,337 --> 00:09:07,548
请你替我谢谢主厨 谢谢
Please thank the chef. Thank you.
193
00:09:08,257 --> 00:09:09,467
祝你好胃口
Bon Appetit.
194
00:09:13,637 --> 00:09:16,766
噢 你 脖子上...
Oh, you've, got something on your...
195
00:09:17,349 --> 00:09:20,770
有东西? 第一次约会就出丑 我自己来吧
Something on my neck? Leave it to me to embarrass myself on a first date.
196
00:09:23,272 --> 00:09:24,356
我来...
Here...
197
00:09:24,774 --> 00:09:26,649
这里? 还是这里? 是吗?
There? There? I got it?
198
00:09:26,650 --> 00:09:30,236
还有一点... 在你左蛋.. 左边...
A little bit... bit more on-on the left b... ball... One.
199
00:09:30,237 --> 00:09:33,157
在左边 还有一点点
Uh, left side. Of... Dribbly bit.
200
00:09:36,702 --> 00:09:37,941
谢谢 没事
Thanks. I mean, no biggie.
201
00:09:37,942 --> 00:09:41,039
相信我 我还碰上过更糟糕的情况
Trust me, I've been through worse. I mean, as...
202
00:09:41,040 --> 00:09:44,460
我小时候 我一直被嘲笑
As a kid, I used to get made fun of all the time.
203
00:09:44,502 --> 00:09:47,128
是不是因为你的...
Was it, because of your...
204
00:09:47,129 --> 00:09:49,672
我口吃...我... 我原来有严重的口吃
My stutter. I... I used to have a really bad stutter.
205
00:09:49,673 --> 00:09:53,385
经过了九年的语言治疗才治好
Actually took probably nine years of speech therapy to get rid of it.
206
00:10:03,687 --> 00:10:07,413
那 你还有什么别的事...
So, was there anything else they...
207
00:10:07,414 --> 00:10:09,276
被别人取笑吗?
may have made fun of?
208
00:10:11,570 --> 00:10:14,030
- 我不知道 - 没有了?
- I don't know. - Anything at all?
209
00:10:14,031 --> 00:10:17,158
噢 是的 有些孩子取笑我的脖子
Oh, yeah, some kids used to talk a little smack about my neck.
210
00:10:17,159 --> 00:10:19,203
噢 感谢上帝!
Oh, thank God!
211
00:10:20,079 --> 00:10:23,082
- 怎么了? - 我还以为我疯了
- What's up? - I thought I was going crazy. I...
212
00:10:23,207 --> 00:10:24,291
怎么会?
What?
213
00:10:24,500 --> 00:10:28,711
我是说... 没什么 ....
I mean... not a big deal... at all.
214
00:10:28,712 --> 00:10:33,050
具体是怎么回事?
It's just, what is the story there?
215
00:10:34,969 --> 00:10:37,407
当时我只有六岁 我从自行车上摔下
Well, when I was six, I fell off my bike
216
00:10:37,408 --> 00:10:38,555
倒在一个喷水头上
and I landed on a sprinkler head...
217
00:10:38,556 --> 00:10:41,099
医生不得不给我缝了几针
and they had to stitch me up at the hospital.
218
00:10:41,100 --> 00:10:43,561
看见没 有道疤 是吧?
See, it's, it's just a scar. Right?
219
00:10:44,061 --> 00:10:47,189
孩子也会很刻薄 他们以前叫我科学怪人
I mean, kids could be mean. They used to call me Frankenstein.
220
00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:52,611
他们会像这样说"他还活着" "他还活着"
They're like, "He's alive. He's alive!"
221
00:10:55,531 --> 00:10:58,325
可我不在乎 孩子们会取笑任何事 不是吗?
Well, I don't care, you know. Kids make fun of everything, right?
222
00:10:59,577 --> 00:11:02,538
是我错觉 还是这里确实有点冷?
Is it just me or did it suddenly get a little chilly in here?
223
00:11:05,749 --> 00:11:07,334
我想可能是因为那个出风口
I think it may be that vent there.
224
00:11:09,336 --> 00:11:12,088
- 你们的菜来了 - 天哪 看看这份量
- Here we are. - Man! Look at the size of those things.
225
00:11:12,089 --> 00:11:15,091
噢 杰克 伙计 能把温度稍微调高一些吗?
Oh, Jake, buddy, would you mind turning up the heat just a tad?
226
00:11:15,092 --> 00:11:16,938
我觉得那个出风口一直在吹...
I think that, that vent's blowing right on...
227
00:11:16,939 --> 00:11:17,452
没问题
not a problem.
228
00:11:18,095 --> 00:11:19,137
谢谢
Thank you.
229
00:11:19,138 --> 00:11:20,471
先让我忙完...
And, uh, just let me go ahead and...
230
00:11:20,472 --> 00:11:22,765
- 可以 - 把这个端走
- Sure. - Get this out of your way here.
231
00:11:22,766 --> 00:11:24,268
噢 天哪! 你...你还好吗?
Oh, God! Are you... Are you okay?
232
00:11:26,145 --> 00:11:27,771
我的胃 它...
It's my stomach. There's...
233
00:11:30,024 --> 00:11:31,609
终于喘上这口气了
Just get my breath back, you know.
234
00:11:33,569 --> 00:11:35,486
他在那! 那家伙在那!
There he is! There's the stud!
235
00:11:35,487 --> 00:11:37,156
嘿 安琪! 雷!
Hey! Angie! Ray!
236
00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:39,032
嘿 你们近来如何? 还好吗?
Hey, how the hell are you guys? You're good?
237
00:11:39,033 --> 00:11:40,701
显然没你好
Apparently not as good as you.
238
00:11:41,035 --> 00:11:43,578
嗨 我是安琪 这位是我的丈夫雷
Hi, I'm Angie and this is my husband Ray.
239
00:11:43,579 --> 00:11:46,372
- 嗨 - 这位是我的新朋友 贝思
- Hi. - This is my new friend, Beth.
240
00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:48,583
她慢慢让我对相亲恢复了信心
She's slowly restoring my faith in blind dates.
241
00:11:48,584 --> 00:11:50,126
向你致敬 贝思
Well, kudos to you, Beth,
242
00:11:50,127 --> 00:11:52,253
你竟然能把这工作狂从办公室里拖出来
for getting this old workaholic out of his office for once.
243
00:11:52,254 --> 00:11:53,714
得了 得了 雷
Come on. Come on, Ray.
244
00:11:53,797 --> 00:11:57,051
干的漂亮! 你可是钓到大鱼了!
Nice work! You caught the big one!
245
00:11:57,134 --> 00:11:58,177
是吗?
Did I?
246
00:11:59,637 --> 00:12:01,054
可是... 你难道没发现...
But... Do you not notice the...
247
00:12:01,055 --> 00:12:04,433
- 看小埃文长得多快 - 是吗 小家伙?
- Look how big little Evan's getting! - Yeah. Little?
248
00:12:04,725 --> 00:12:07,269
是的 他长得巨快
Yeah. He's growing like crazy.
249
00:12:08,812 --> 00:12:10,397
- 别 - 看这大胖小子
- No. - Who's a big boy?
250
00:12:10,689 --> 00:12:13,609
看这大胖小子
Who's a big boy, huh?
251
00:12:14,068 --> 00:12:17,070
哇哦 雷 他真沉 长大肯定是员球场猛将
Wow, Ray, he's a monster. You got yourself a little linebacker here.
252
00:12:17,071 --> 00:12:19,405
准后卫要上床睡觉了
A little linebacker that needs to go to bed!
253
00:12:19,406 --> 00:12:21,700
好的 你该睡觉了 去吧
Okay. You're off to bed. There you go.
254
00:12:22,701 --> 00:12:25,620
- 真不小心 - 又掉了个奶嘴
- Fumble. - Another pacifier down.
255
00:12:25,621 --> 00:12:26,747
我来捡
I got it.
256
00:12:28,082 --> 00:12:29,750
谢谢你 伙计 谢谢
Thanks, buddy. Thanks bud.
257
00:12:30,292 --> 00:12:31,626
给你 伙计 安琪?
Here, bud. Angie?
258
00:12:31,627 --> 00:12:33,169
你们真般配 我得拍张照
You guys look so cute. I gotta take a picture.
259
00:12:33,170 --> 00:12:34,213
真要拍照?
Really?
260
00:12:35,089 --> 00:12:35,846
安琪 别闹
Angie, please.
261
00:12:35,847 --> 00:12:37,173
让他们吃饭吧 亲爱的
Hey, let-let the man eat, honey.
262
00:12:37,174 --> 00:12:39,550
别这样 雷 我们第一次约会时就合影了
Come on, Ray. We have a picture of our first date.
263
00:12:39,551 --> 00:12:41,427
他们也该留个影
They should have a picture of theirs.
264
00:12:41,428 --> 00:12:45,306
快 起来去站在她身后 别害羞
Come on, get your fanny over there behind her and don't be shy.
265
00:12:45,307 --> 00:12:48,643
- 好吧 好吧 - 好的
- All right. Okay, okay. All right. - Okay.
266
00:12:48,644 --> 00:12:50,479
- 真抱歉 - 凑近些
- I'm sorry about this. - Get in close.
267
00:12:50,688 --> 00:12:53,190
贝思 坐着别动
Beth, I'm gonna need you to hold still.
268
00:12:53,315 --> 00:12:55,191
噢 天哪 他们看起来真是...
Oh, God, they look so...
269
00:12:55,192 --> 00:12:58,111
蹲低点! 把脸凑过去! 快点!
Get down! Get your face down next to hers! Come on!
270
00:12:58,112 --> 00:13:00,322
快拍 快拍 快拍
Take it. Take it. Take it, take it, take it, take it.
271
00:13:00,739 --> 00:13:02,992
- 太棒了 - 怎么样?
- So good! - How's that?
272
00:13:04,118 --> 00:13:05,702
现在你们亲一下对方吧?
Now why don't you give each other a little kiss?
273
00:13:05,703 --> 00:13:07,120
别这样 安琪 我们才刚认识
Oh, come on. Angie, we just met.
274
00:13:07,121 --> 00:13:09,205
行了 让他们吃饭吧!
Come on, let 'em eat! Let the man eat!
275
00:13:09,206 --> 00:13:10,999
- 来嘛! 就亲一下 - 好吧好吧
- Come on! Just a little kiss. - All right, all right.
276
00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:13,459
就一下 亲额头
We'll do one, one kiss on the forehead.
277
00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:14,460
- 就在额头上亲一下 - 用不着吧
- One peck on the forehead. - We don't need to.
278
00:13:14,461 --> 00:13:15,712
- 准备好了? 好的 - 真的用不着
- Ready? Okay. - We really don't.
279
00:13:15,713 --> 00:13:17,089
不用这样...
We don't need...
280
00:13:19,341 --> 00:13:22,469
搞什么! 继续找
The fuck, man! Keep looking.
281
00:13:25,139 --> 00:13:27,474
我们来看看四十二号好了
Let's try the forty-second one.
282
00:13:28,100 --> 00:13:29,101
对 对 好主意
Yeah, yeah, good idea.
283
00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:35,024
咪咪
Boobs.
284
00:13:37,151 --> 00:13:39,486
带病毒毛片
Pornography with viruses.
285
00:13:41,113 --> 00:13:43,157
巴克斯特 你死定了
Yeah, Baxter, you're going down.
286
00:13:43,699 --> 00:13:45,117
继续找
Keep looking.
287
00:13:52,166 --> 00:13:54,542
这是炙烤苏门答腊咖啡 我们自己磨的
It's uh, roast Sumatra. I grind the beans myself.
288
00:13:54,543 --> 00:13:57,170
再次感谢你的晚餐 你真的不用这样客气
Hey, thanks again for dinner. You really didn't have to do this.
289
00:13:57,171 --> 00:13:58,171
应该的
Oh, please.
290
00:13:58,172 --> 00:13:59,547
连此乔迁欢迎宴都不给你们准备
What kind of neighbors would we be...
291
00:13:59,548 --> 00:14:01,424
我们算哪门子邻居?
if we didn't have you over for a welcome dinner?
292
00:14:01,425 --> 00:14:02,979
西恩 萨曼莎刚还说
Sean, Samantha was just saying
293
00:14:02,980 --> 00:14:05,053
他家孩子全程在家接受教育
that they homeschool their son.
294
00:14:05,054 --> 00:14:06,179
有意思
Oh, that is interesting.
295
00:14:06,180 --> 00:14:08,556
我们只是觉得只有这样才能确保...
Well, we just think it's the only way to make sure...
296
00:14:08,557 --> 00:14:11,185
他接受到最好的教育
that he gets the best education possible.
297
00:14:11,268 --> 00:14:13,186
你真的应该为你儿子考虑一下
You should really consider it for your kids.
298
00:14:13,187 --> 00:14:15,980
知道吧 凯文正在楼上写作业呢
Hey, you know, Kevin's upstairs doing his homework right now.
299
00:14:15,981 --> 00:14:17,523
我敢肯定他很愿意和你们聊天
I'm sure he'd love to talk to you guys about it.
300
00:14:17,524 --> 00:14:19,971
等等 你两位亲自在家教儿子
Wait. He... So you homeschool your son
301
00:14:19,972 --> 00:14:21,195
还给他留作业?
but he still gets homework?
302
00:14:23,655 --> 00:14:26,199
凯文能有个正常完整的高中生活经历
It's very important to us that Kevin has...
303
00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:29,286
对我们来说是很重要的
a normal and complete high school experience.
304
00:14:31,080 --> 00:14:33,304
用黑色墨水完成家庭作业
Written assignments are to be done in black ink.
305
00:14:33,305 --> 00:14:36,084
不许用绿色 蓝色或者粉色的笔写
Not green or blue or pink.
306
00:14:36,085 --> 00:14:36,890
你那榆木脑袋
When are you gonna get that
307
00:14:36,891 --> 00:14:39,171
怎么什么时候才能记住 莫里斯先生?
through your thick skull, Mr. Morris?
308
00:14:40,005 --> 00:14:41,173
我是米勒
It's Miller.
309
00:14:41,590 --> 00:14:43,300
你被留堂了
That's a detention.
310
00:14:44,176 --> 00:14:47,220
快 快点! 捡起来! 捡起来! 捡起来!
Move, move, move, move, move! Pick it up! Pick it up!
311
00:14:47,221 --> 00:14:49,431
加油 娘炮 动作快点!
Come on, girlfriend, pick your knees up!
312
00:14:51,016 --> 00:14:52,558
噢 我...我明白了 就是...
Oh, I... I see. It's...
313
00:14:52,559 --> 00:14:55,022
但你们有没有发觉 我也说不好哈
But don't you feel like maybe he's, I don't know,
314
00:14:55,023 --> 00:14:56,562
他会怀念外面的世界?
missing out?
315
00:14:56,563 --> 00:14:59,107
是啊 高中生活不仅仅只有课程和作业
Yeah, high school is about more than just classes and homework.
316
00:14:59,108 --> 00:15:02,235
可不是么 还可能被人疏远或者孤独难耐
Absolutely. There's the alienation, the loneliness.
317
00:15:02,236 --> 00:15:05,238
高中就该是男孩子们一生中的低谷期
It should be the unhappiest time in a boy's life.
318
00:15:05,239 --> 00:15:06,364
所以我们才尽可能确保...
That's why we try to make sure...
319
00:15:06,365 --> 00:15:09,450
凯文不错过任何一段重要的...
that Kevin doesn't miss out on any of those essential...
320
00:15:09,451 --> 00:15:13,122
正规学校的青少年们该尝到的磨难
emotionally scarring experiences that he'd get at a regular school.
321
00:15:13,332 --> 00:15:16,333
{\an8}凯文是基佬
322
00:15:15,332 --> 00:15:16,333
基佬!
Fag!
323
00:15:17,709 --> 00:15:19,128
死基佬!
Faggot!
324
00:15:21,713 --> 00:15:24,133
丑八怪 你的书掉了!
You dropped your books, fuckface!
325
00:15:31,723 --> 00:15:34,059
天啊! 爸爸 搞什么!
Jesus! Dad, what the fuck!
326
00:15:34,726 --> 00:15:36,603
哇哦 你的阴毛长的好奇怪
Whoa. You've got weird pubes.
327
00:15:37,229 --> 00:15:40,732
大家来看啊! 这孩子阴毛够奇葩!
Hey, guys! Come check out this kid's weird pubes!
328
00:15:41,150 --> 00:15:44,277
尽管如此 你们俩肯定做了不少工作
Still, it must be an awful lot of work for you guys, though.
329
00:15:44,278 --> 00:15:47,280
噢 那是当然 但我们乐此不疲
Oh, sure, there is. But we love it.
330
00:15:47,281 --> 00:15:49,824
我们一起想出个全面规划...
I think we've put together a pretty comprehensive plan...
331
00:15:49,825 --> 00:15:53,370
各种青春期关键经历 凯文一个都不会少
that provides Kevin with every important adolescent experience.
332
00:15:54,037 --> 00:15:55,598
比如 和其他孩子交往...
You know, socializing with other kids...
333
00:16:07,050 --> 00:16:09,178
嗨 凯文 对吧?
Hey. Kevin, right?
334
00:16:10,971 --> 00:16:12,181
我可以进去吗?
Can I please come in?
335
00:16:13,765 --> 00:16:15,516
黛比·克拉克来啦
Look, Debbie Clark's here,
336
00:16:15,517 --> 00:16:18,520
你之前约过人家 会有些尴尬
the girl you asked out before. It's gonna be awkward.
337
00:16:24,318 --> 00:16:26,291
抱歉 不给进 抱歉 不可以
Sorry. No. Sorry, sorry. No.
338
00:16:26,292 --> 00:16:27,278
抱歉 就这样吧
Sorry. Okay, okay.
339
00:16:27,279 --> 00:16:28,064
妈 别这样 等等
Mom. Mom, please no, wait.
340
00:16:28,065 --> 00:16:29,198
听我说... 如果我...
Mom, just... if I...
341
00:16:35,537 --> 00:16:37,331
课外活动
Extracurricular activities.
342
00:16:38,457 --> 00:16:42,000
{\an8}恶心小菜鸟
343
00:16:38,457 --> 00:16:40,000
你做了什么?
What do you do?
344
00:16:40,792 --> 00:16:42,085
恶心事
I suck.
345
00:16:42,336 --> 00:16:43,545
什么恶心事?
What do you suck?
346
00:16:45,130 --> 00:16:47,131
- 口交 - 大声点!
- Dicks. - Louder!
347
00:16:47,132 --> 00:16:49,675
- 我玩口交! 口交! - 态度端正点!
- I suck dicks! I suck dicks! - Like you mean it!
348
00:16:49,676 --> 00:16:52,553
我玩口交 我无时无刻不想着口交!
I suck dicks, I suck dicks, I suck 'em all the time!
349
00:16:52,554 --> 00:16:54,472
如果你是个超级英雄 你想要什么超能力?
If you were a superhero, what would your superpower be?
350
00:16:54,473 --> 00:16:56,682
我的超能力就是玩口交!
My superpower would be sucking dicks!
351
00:16:56,683 --> 00:17:00,354
兄弟 看你现在那狼狈样
Dude. You have so much poop on you right now.
352
00:17:02,147 --> 00:17:04,607
当然 初吻...
And of course the first kiss...
353
00:17:04,608 --> 00:17:08,070
应该是任何一个男孩一生中最尴尬的时刻
that should be the most awkward moment in any boy's life.
354
00:17:12,449 --> 00:17:16,328
艾米莉和卡拉说我们应该玩全套
Emily and Kara said we should go all the way.
355
00:17:18,747 --> 00:17:20,374
你觉得呢?
What do you think?
356
00:17:51,780 --> 00:17:53,282
额 你有保护措施吗?
Um, do you have protection?
357
00:17:56,118 --> 00:17:57,369
所以 兄弟
So, dude.
358
00:17:58,412 --> 00:18:00,789
别告诉杰夫那些人 但...
Don't tell Jeff or any of those guys, but...
359
00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:03,667
我只是想说...
I just wanted to say that...
360
00:18:06,253 --> 00:18:08,046
如果我真的喜欢男人...
if I did like guys...
361
00:18:10,257 --> 00:18:13,051
你真的是我所喜欢的类型
you'd totally be the kind of guy that I'd like.
362
00:18:17,389 --> 00:18:18,765
说起来很奇怪
This is weird.
363
00:18:26,815 --> 00:18:28,567
我不是当真的
I didn't mean any of that.
364
00:18:30,068 --> 00:18:31,278
就是随便说说
Just talking, you know?
365
00:18:31,570 --> 00:18:33,279
哇哦
Wow.
366
00:18:33,280 --> 00:18:36,282
我想我不会忘记凯文第一次告诉我们...
I don't think I'll ever forget the first time Kevin told us that...
367
00:18:36,283 --> 00:18:38,701
他希望他没被生出来
he wished he'd never been born.
368
00:18:38,702 --> 00:18:42,080
- 那时他才十二岁 - 早熟孩子
- He was only twelve. - Precocious kid.
369
00:18:42,164 --> 00:18:44,290
研究表明 一般来说
You know, studies show that the average child...
370
00:18:44,291 --> 00:18:46,709
孩子直到十五岁时才会表现出自我厌恶
doesn't express that kind of self-loathing till they're fifteen.
371
00:18:46,710 --> 00:18:48,420
我相信
I bet.
372
00:18:50,297 --> 00:18:51,340
他来了
Here he comes.
373
00:18:52,716 --> 00:18:55,301
亲爱的 来见见邻居
Hey, honey. Meet the neighbors.
374
00:18:55,302 --> 00:18:57,025
凯文 这是西恩和克莱尔
Kevin, this is Sean and Clare.
375
00:18:57,026 --> 00:18:59,180
他们刚搬来 就住和我们隔三户的那栋房子
They moved into the house three doors down.
376
00:18:59,181 --> 00:19:01,432
噢 伊戈斯家的老房子 很好
Oh, the Yeagers' old place. Great.
377
00:19:01,433 --> 00:19:03,100
对啊 额 我...我叫凯文
Yeah, I'm, um, I'm... I'm Kevin.
378
00:19:03,101 --> 00:19:05,186
很高兴见到你们 欢迎入住同一小区
Uh, pleased to meet you. Welcome to the neighborhood.
379
00:19:05,187 --> 00:19:06,563
我也很高兴见到你
Nice to meet you, too.
380
00:19:06,564 --> 00:19:07,814
谢谢 太有礼貌了
Thank you. That's so polite. That's...
381
00:19:08,482 --> 00:19:10,733
我要出去了 有些朋友约好在格林家见面
I'm heading out. A bunch of us are gonna meet up at The Green.
382
00:19:10,734 --> 00:19:12,319
噢 格林家
Ooh, The Green.
383
00:19:12,444 --> 00:19:14,737
对 我做完作业了
And, uh, yes, I finished my homework.
384
00:19:14,738 --> 00:19:17,573
还有 珍和我稍后要去看场电影
Oh, and Jen and I are gonna catch a movie afterwards,
385
00:19:17,574 --> 00:19:18,741
我可能会回来的晚点
so I won't be home until late.
386
00:19:18,742 --> 00:19:21,745
没问题 记得给我们带个好
Oh, that's fine. Just make sure you say hello from us.
387
00:19:24,122 --> 00:19:25,707
珍 和我妈打招呼
Jen, my mom says hi.
388
00:19:27,334 --> 00:19:28,377
你好 珍
Hello, Jen.
389
00:19:29,127 --> 00:19:32,339
你好 米勒夫人 我是个漂亮女孩
Hello, Mrs. Miller. I'm the pretty girl.
390
00:19:33,507 --> 00:19:34,758
没错
She is.
391
00:19:36,343 --> 00:19:39,137
- 你俩今晚玩的开心 - 好的
- You guys have fun tonight.- All right.
392
00:19:40,222 --> 00:19:41,347
很高兴见到你!
Nice meeting you!
393
00:19:41,348 --> 00:19:43,475
那么 谁要蛋糕?
So. Who wants cake?
394
00:19:44,351 --> 00:19:46,353
太恐怖了 我们看看别的
Creepy. Let's move on.
395
00:19:46,603 --> 00:19:48,480
老兄 继续搜索
Keep searching, dude.
396
00:20:06,498 --> 00:20:07,540
嗨
Hi.
397
00:20:07,541 --> 00:20:10,042
看
There.
398
00:20:10,043 --> 00:20:12,254
开始野餐吧
Now it's a picnic.
399
00:20:12,379 --> 00:20:14,797
你喜欢巧克力脆皮草莓吗?
Would you care for a chocolate-covered strawberry?
400
00:20:14,798 --> 00:20:18,510
天啊 亲爱的 说到浪漫
Oh my gosh, sweetie. Talk about romantic.
401
00:20:18,552 --> 00:20:20,511
太完美了!
This is perfect!
402
00:20:20,512 --> 00:20:23,514
朱莉 我们在一起一年多了...
Julie, we've been together for over a year...
403
00:20:23,515 --> 00:20:26,017
十六个月两个星期
Sixteen months and two weeks.
404
00:20:27,394 --> 00:20:32,366
这段交往时期 我意识到你对我来说很重要
And in that time, I've come to realize that you mean everything to me.
405
00:20:33,525 --> 00:20:35,569
道格 你也是
Oh, Doug. You, too.
406
00:20:37,529 --> 00:20:39,321
有些话我想问你
And there's something I want to ask you.
407
00:20:39,322 --> 00:20:41,533
我也有些话想问你
There's something I'd like to ask you.
408
00:20:42,409 --> 00:20:44,410
好吧 你先
Okay, uh, you go first.
409
00:20:44,411 --> 00:20:46,245
- 不 你先 - 不 你先
- No, you go first. - No, you first.
410
00:20:46,246 --> 00:20:47,414
不 你先嘛
No, you first.
411
00:20:47,789 --> 00:20:50,542
不然我们同时说出来好了?
How about we say it at the same time?
412
00:20:50,709 --> 00:20:51,793
好啊
Okay.
413
00:20:53,545 --> 00:20:55,797
- 一 二... - 一 二
- One, two... - One, two.
414
00:20:56,089 --> 00:20:57,549
你愿意和我来几炮吗?
Will you poop on me?
415
00:20:59,259 --> 00:21:02,053
- 什么? - 你愿意和我来几炮吗?
- What? - Will you poop on me?
416
00:21:02,596 --> 00:21:04,055
什么 你什么意思...
What? What are you...
417
00:21:05,432 --> 00:21:06,599
等等 你在说什么?
Wait, what did- what did you say?
418
00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:09,810
我信任你 我觉得你就是我的灵魂伴侣
I... I trust you. I feel like you're my soul mate.
419
00:21:09,811 --> 00:21:13,606
我想送你份厚礼 把我的第一次给你
I want to give you this gift. I want you to be my first.
420
00:21:13,607 --> 00:21:16,359
拉一泡...
To poop...
421
00:21:16,443 --> 00:21:18,111
- 在我身上 - 什么?
- On me. - What?
422
00:21:18,820 --> 00:21:21,614
你不想吗?
You don't want to?
423
00:21:21,615 --> 00:21:23,240
不是 我...我是说...
No, I... I mean...
424
00:21:23,241 --> 00:21:24,742
你对我没感觉了吗?
Are you not attracted to me anymore?
425
00:21:24,743 --> 00:21:27,453
宝贝 当然有感觉
Of course I'm attracted to you, honey.
426
00:21:27,454 --> 00:21:30,457
那你愿意? 对我来一炮吗?
So will you? Poop on me?
427
00:21:34,586 --> 00:21:37,464
哥们 你算是中奖了
Ah, man. You just hit the fucking lottery, man.
428
00:21:38,465 --> 00:21:42,510
你不觉得要在她身上拉屎很奇怪吗?
You don't think it's a little weird for wanting him to shit on her?
429
00:21:42,511 --> 00:21:46,306
慢着 哥们 尊重下这位兄弟 可以吗?
Slow down, man. Have some respect for this guy, okay?
430
00:21:46,473 --> 00:21:48,265
她不是要他来一发
She did not ask him to shit on her.
431
00:21:48,266 --> 00:21:49,642
来一发只是找妓女逢场作戏
Shitting is something you do on a whore.
432
00:21:49,643 --> 00:21:51,101
- 对 - 对?
- Right. - Right?
433
00:21:51,102 --> 00:21:53,730
屎交是献给灵魂伴侣的礼物
Pooping is a gift you give to your soul mate.
434
00:21:54,523 --> 00:21:56,732
- 必须的 - 我从没这么想过
- of Course. - I never looked at it like that.
435
00:21:56,733 --> 00:21:58,382
说吧 兄弟 有啥煽情菜?
So tell me, man, what's on the menu?
436
00:21:58,383 --> 00:21:59,652
在你行动之前告诉我嘛
Before you do the big deed.
437
00:21:59,653 --> 00:22:02,280
我不...我不知道 有那么重要吗?
I don't... I don't know. Does it fucking matter?
438
00:22:02,489 --> 00:22:05,491
- 她是素食主义者? - 不是
- Is she a vegetarian? - No.
439
00:22:05,492 --> 00:22:09,620
多好的机会! 你个大傻蛋 真愚蠢到不行
Boom! Big beef burrito, with extra beans on that bad boy.
440
00:22:09,621 --> 00:22:12,122
放些调味汁和鳄梨色拉酱来调色嘛
Put some salsa, some guacamole for color.
441
00:22:12,123 --> 00:22:14,667
便出来的话 会充满节日气氛 你懂的吧?
When it come out of you, it's a festival. You know what I'm saying?
442
00:22:14,668 --> 00:22:17,628
为了心上人就豁出去吧 听见没有?
You went the extra yard for your lady. You hear me?
443
00:22:17,629 --> 00:22:19,672
不了 我还是弄点有品位的东西 好吗?
No, I'm doing something classy, okay?
444
00:22:19,673 --> 00:22:23,426
我会烤黄鳍金枪鱼牛排 做份沙拉 开瓶红酒
I'm doing seared ahi tuna steaks, a salad, and red wine.
445
00:22:23,510 --> 00:22:25,678
- 不 不! 不能这样 - 不错
- No. No, no, no! Fuckin' no! - Nice.
446
00:22:25,679 --> 00:22:30,141
重点不在于吃上去怎么样 而在于产生的效果
It's not about how fancy it goes in. It's about how fancy it comes out.
447
00:22:30,642 --> 00:22:34,144
相信我 墨西哥菜真的催便能力超强
Well... And believe me, Mexican food makes a fuckin' mess.
448
00:22:34,145 --> 00:22:35,563
可别吃沙拉
And don't mess with fuckin' salads.
449
00:22:35,564 --> 00:22:37,773
你知道沙拉有什么作用吗? 会让你便秘
You know what salad does? It locks down your bowels.
450
00:22:37,774 --> 00:22:40,527
你不希望上垒的时候肠子不给力吧? 当然不
You don't want your bowels all locked down, do you? No.
451
00:22:41,069 --> 00:22:43,279
喝酒还不错 喝上几杯
Drinks are cool. Have a few fuckin' drinks.
452
00:22:43,280 --> 00:22:44,193
会让你挺得更持久
Makes you last longer.
453
00:22:44,194 --> 00:22:44,780
更持久?
Last longer?
454
00:22:44,781 --> 00:22:47,658
拜托 你不想成为挤便先生 对吧?
You don't want to be Mr.Two Squeeze, Thank-You Please, right?
455
00:22:47,659 --> 00:22:50,369
- 你肯定不想的 - 比利 该死的
- You really don't want to be that. - Billy, goddamn, Billy.
456
00:22:50,370 --> 00:22:52,705
我俩大人谈话你就不能走远点啊
Why don't you go over there while grown people are talking over here.
457
00:22:52,706 --> 00:22:54,582
去一边玩你的美国大兵玩具吧
Go over there and play with your GI Joes or some shit, man.
458
00:22:54,583 --> 00:22:56,208
恩 我去就是了
Yeah, I'll go over there.
459
00:22:56,209 --> 00:22:58,795
记着 用我的建议试试
Look it. Take my advice on this one.
460
00:22:59,337 --> 00:23:02,715
今晚就出去找人试试 好吗?
You go out tonight and you shit on a few skanks. Okay?
461
00:23:02,716 --> 00:23:04,425
马力全开
Get it all out your system.
462
00:23:04,426 --> 00:23:09,347
你明天一准儿做回真男人
Fuckin' tomorrow, you are a one-poop man.
463
00:23:09,681 --> 00:23:11,099
懂吗?
Understand?
464
00:23:13,101 --> 00:23:14,560
这是毛东西?
What the fuck is this?
465
00:23:14,561 --> 00:23:18,565
兄弟 泻药界伟哥啊 帮你一泄(泻)千里
Viagra, brother. Poop Viagra. Yeah.
466
00:23:19,190 --> 00:23:21,692
- 你随身携带? - 对啊 就是随身携带
- Just carry that on you? - Yeah, I carry that shit around on me.
467
00:23:21,693 --> 00:23:23,444
- 户外烤肉也带着? - 还真被你说对了
- At barbecues? - You goddamn right.
468
00:23:23,445 --> 00:23:24,445
我吃不惯荤腥的东西
I got a meat problem.
469
00:23:24,446 --> 00:23:26,196
各种肉类都是 我得去方便一下
All your fuckin' meat, I gotta clean that shit out.
470
00:23:26,197 --> 00:23:27,477
- 好吧 - 好吧? 随便
- Okay, yeah. - Okay? Fine, then.
471
00:23:43,131 --> 00:23:45,383
- 我准备好了 宝贝 - 噢 不是吧
- I'm ready, sweetie. - Oh, fuck.
472
00:23:45,592 --> 00:23:46,718
马上
One second.
473
00:23:55,124 --> 00:23:56,002
泻药
474
00:24:17,624 --> 00:24:20,502
我爱她 我爱她
I love her. Hey, I love her.
475
00:24:27,759 --> 00:24:29,760
- 噢! 你看起来真美 - 谢谢
- Oh, oh! You look nice. - Thank you.
476
00:24:29,761 --> 00:24:32,638
那么 我们就...
Okay. Let's go...
477
00:24:32,639 --> 00:24:35,517
哇哦 哇哦亲爱的 你要干嘛?
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Honey. What are you doing?
478
00:24:35,558 --> 00:24:38,644
我要干嘛? 我... 你知道我在干嘛
What am I doing? I'm... You know what I'm doing.
479
00:24:38,645 --> 00:24:40,062
我尽力...
I'm trying to, you know.
480
00:24:40,063 --> 00:24:45,060
还不是时候 猛男 我想慢慢享受
Not yet, tiger. I wanna savor this.
481
00:24:45,276 --> 00:24:47,320
好吧 我有点... 额...
Oh, okay. Well, I kinda... I kinda got to, uh...
482
00:24:47,654 --> 00:24:51,032
不 不 不 不 来 来吻我
No, no, no, no. Come here. Come here and kiss me,
483
00:24:51,324 --> 00:24:55,203
然后给我你的特别礼物
and then you can give me your special present.
484
00:24:57,664 --> 00:25:00,666
- 快说你有多爱我 - 我很爱你
- Tell me how much you love me. - Oh, I love you so much.
485
00:25:00,667 --> 00:25:03,043
- 有多爱? - 爱你爱到肯为你杀人
- How much? - I love you so much I'd kill a man.
486
00:25:03,044 --> 00:25:04,087
现在开始吧 拜托?
Can we do this, please?
487
00:25:06,673 --> 00:25:10,093
- 我买了瓶特制薰衣草润肤露 - 好吧
- I bought this special lavender lotion. - Okay.
488
00:25:10,218 --> 00:25:11,923
给我脖子擦擦乳液咯
Why don't you get my neck ready.
489
00:25:11,924 --> 00:25:13,345
你想涂在脖子上?
You want it on your neck?
490
00:25:13,346 --> 00:25:15,347
怎么了? 你不愿意吗?
Why? Does that not work for you?
491
00:25:15,348 --> 00:25:17,434
愿意 愿意 来吧
It's fine, it's fine. Here we go.
492
00:25:24,065 --> 00:25:25,232
很不错
That's nice.
493
00:25:25,233 --> 00:25:27,694
好吧 好吧 我们来吧 让我们...
Okay, okay. There we go. Let's get it and...
494
00:25:30,488 --> 00:25:33,700
- 不 不 还没到 - 什么?
- No. No. Not yet. - What?
495
00:25:34,075 --> 00:25:36,578
- 不 过来 - 干嘛?
- No. Come here. - What?
496
00:25:37,704 --> 00:25:41,124
- 你太兴奋了 - 我知道 我把持不住了
- You're so excited. - I know. I can't stand it.
497
00:25:43,585 --> 00:25:46,336
还记得我们相遇的那天么?
Gosh. Remember the day that we met?
498
00:25:46,337 --> 00:25:47,589
记得
Yes.
499
00:25:47,714 --> 00:25:52,510
你有没有想过有天你会...
Did you ever think that someday you'd be able to...
500
00:25:53,595 --> 00:25:56,263
- 你懂的? - 老实说 不 不 我不懂
- you know? - Honestly, no. No, I didn't.
501
00:25:56,264 --> 00:25:58,349
还记得我那天穿了什么吗?
Do you remember what I was wearing that day?
502
00:25:59,726 --> 00:26:01,477
宝贝 我穿了什么?
Baby, what was I wearing?
503
00:26:01,478 --> 00:26:02,696
记得我那天穿了什么吗?
Do you remember what I was wearing?
504
00:26:02,697 --> 00:26:03,479
一件黄色夏装!
A yellow sun dress!
505
00:26:03,480 --> 00:26:05,523
快点! 转过去 让我拉你身上吧!
Come on! Roll over and let me shit on you, please!
506
00:26:06,733 --> 00:26:08,025
你说什么?
Excuse me?
507
00:26:08,026 --> 00:26:10,360
抱歉 拉一泡 拉在你身上
I'm sorry. Poop on you. I meant poop on you.
508
00:26:10,361 --> 00:26:12,154
宝贝 我绝不是有意对你不敬
Honey, I would never shit on you.
509
00:26:12,155 --> 00:26:13,740
宝贝 我绝不会拉你身上?
I would never shit on you. Honey?
510
00:26:14,032 --> 00:26:16,576
回来 我爱你! 操!
Come here. I love you! Fuck!
511
00:26:17,577 --> 00:26:19,162
真不敢相信
Oh, I can't.
512
00:26:20,622 --> 00:26:22,540
朱莉! 回来!
Julie! Come back!
513
00:26:23,291 --> 00:26:26,628
宝贝! 我爱你! 我想向你求婚!
Oh, baby, please! I love you! I want you to marry you!
514
00:26:29,047 --> 00:26:30,757
我的天啊! 道格 不!
Oh, my God! Doug, no!
515
00:26:34,010 --> 00:26:35,553
上帝啊!
Oh, jeez!
516
00:26:38,014 --> 00:26:40,183
噢 上帝! 我的上帝!
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
517
00:26:41,059 --> 00:26:44,436
- 道格! 赶紧叫救护车 - 马上!
- Doug! Doug! Call a fucking ambulance! - I'm on it!
518
00:26:44,437 --> 00:26:48,441
坚持住 宝贝 好吗? 坚持住 你会没事的
Hold on. Hold on, baby, okay? Hold on. You're gonna make it.
519
00:26:49,567 --> 00:26:51,069
朱莉 我爱你
Oh, Julie, I love you.
520
00:26:52,028 --> 00:26:53,530
我爱你
I love you.
521
00:26:54,447 --> 00:26:57,283
这些都是给我准备的?
All of this was for me?
522
00:26:58,409 --> 00:27:00,203
是的 我想是吧
Yeah, I guess so.
523
00:27:00,703 --> 00:27:05,642
是吗? 太美了 这是我见过的最美场面
Oh, yeah? It's so beautiful. It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.
524
00:27:07,043 --> 00:27:09,963
是的...我愿意嫁给你
Yes... I will marry you.
525
00:27:10,713 --> 00:27:12,715
道格 我愿意嫁给你
I will marry you, Doug.
526
00:27:25,000 --> 00:27:26,828
{\an8}熟女当道
527
00:27:23,059 --> 00:27:26,228
网上最火辣的熟女会出现在哪里
CougarCrate, where the web's hottest cougars hang out.
528
00:27:26,229 --> 00:27:27,814
熟女当道 太牛逼了
CougarCrate. Perfect.
529
00:27:28,064 --> 00:27:32,359
准备好了呦 熟女们已蓄势待发
Prepare yourselves, because the cougars are on the prowl.
530
00:27:32,360 --> 00:27:36,698
看看你 太正点了 我喜欢那个反战标志
Look at you. You are nice. I like that peace sign.
531
00:27:37,365 --> 00:27:38,992
开始热身...什么事?
Just warmin' up... What?
532
00:27:39,376 --> 00:27:39,964
卡尔文?
Calvin?
533
00:27:39,965 --> 00:27:40,742
发... 发生什么事了?
Wh... What's going on?
534
00:27:40,743 --> 00:27:42,452
{\an8}Beautiful Mind: <美丽心灵>里的克劳叔犯过这毛病
535
00:27:40,743 --> 00:27:42,452
他开始钻牛角尖了
He's gone all Beautiful Mind on us.
536
00:27:42,453 --> 00:27:43,997
他已完全失控
He's off the fuckin' grid.
537
00:27:44,998 --> 00:27:46,999
- 拜托 巴克斯特 想想法子! - 兄弟
- Come on, Baxter. Think! - Dude,
538
00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:48,458
他把这玩笑当真 要搞出大事了
he's taken this shit to a whole new level.
539
00:27:48,459 --> 00:27:53,407
所有东西...除以九...
Everything... divided by nine...
540
00:27:58,136 --> 00:27:59,498
卡尔文 太棒了
Calvin, great.
541
00:27:59,499 --> 00:28:02,222
J.J.和我试图限定我们的搜索条件
J.J. and I were trying to delineate our search protocols.
542
00:28:02,223 --> 00:28:04,244
你能多提供些关于这个视频的信息吗?
Can you tell me anything more about this video?
543
00:28:04,245 --> 00:28:05,143
你从哪里得知的?
Where'd you hear about it?
544
00:28:05,393 --> 00:28:06,519
圣史蒂夫·施瑞德
St-Stevie Schraeder.
545
00:28:07,020 --> 00:28:11,149
史蒂夫·施瑞德 史蒂夫
Stevie Schraeder. Stevie.
546
00:28:11,482 --> 00:28:14,402
就是它! 是时候大显身手了
Got it! It's time to bring out the big guns.
547
00:28:17,655 --> 00:28:19,990
"鹰眼特狙网"? 这是什么?
"Falcontron"? What's this?
548
00:28:19,991 --> 00:28:22,492
这是网上最牛的搜索引擎
It's the most elite search engine on the Internet.
549
00:28:22,493 --> 00:28:24,563
只有五十个人有使用权限
Only fifty humans have access.
550
00:28:24,564 --> 00:28:26,289
其中十二人是国家领袖
Twelve are heads of state.
551
00:28:26,748 --> 00:28:28,498
那你怎么进去的?
So how do you have access to it?
552
00:28:28,499 --> 00:28:32,295
我黑了BND的主机
I hacked into the mainframe of the Bundesnachrichtendienst.
553
00:28:33,129 --> 00:28:35,422
别编词了 巴克斯特 又开玩笑了
Stop making up words, Baxter. Seriously.
554
00:28:35,423 --> 00:28:37,549
他总这样 他只是在骗人...
He does that all the time. He just makes up...
555
00:28:37,550 --> 00:28:40,053
是德国情报局
It's the German intelligence bureau.
556
00:28:40,762 --> 00:28:43,681
- "情报局"? - 别废话了
- "Bureau"? - It's not a word.
557
00:28:45,558 --> 00:28:47,769
尊敬的顾客朋友们
Attention P-Town shoppers
558
00:28:48,144 --> 00:28:51,314
请看看我们刊在<时尚女刊>上的宣传单
Be sure to check out our insert in Sassy Lass magazine...
559
00:28:51,522 --> 00:28:55,526
科尔博士旗下产品特惠惊喜价
for killer deals on the Dr. Cole family of products.
560
00:28:56,194 --> 00:29:01,190
另有"舞会必备"减价特卖
We're now offering a buy one get one "Senior Prom" special...
561
00:29:01,199 --> 00:29:04,077
羔羊皮安全套和瓶装酒买一送一
on lambskin condoms and boxed wine.
562
00:29:04,327 --> 00:29:07,079
当然还有"赖账老爹"优惠
And don't forget our "Deadbeat Dad" discount.
563
00:29:07,080 --> 00:29:10,332
所有一次性相机和儿童棒球组合打折出售
On all disposable cameras and whiffle ball bats.
564
00:29:10,333 --> 00:29:12,210
亲们 阴部干痒吗?
Got a dry, itchy vag?
565
00:29:12,543 --> 00:29:16,339
今天 飞逸乳液特惠 买一送一
Today, we are offering a two-for-one deal on Beave Lotion.
566
00:29:17,048 --> 00:29:20,217
这款乳液保湿效果大受广大女士的青睐
That's lotion for your beave by Moisture Maid, ladies...
567
00:29:20,218 --> 00:29:25,098
现在第四通道打折出售中 请惠顾...
now on sale on aisle four. Be sure to check out...
568
00:29:31,062 --> 00:29:32,105
尼尔
Neil.
569
00:29:32,438 --> 00:29:34,065
维罗尼卡
Veronica.
570
00:29:34,190 --> 00:29:35,233
尼尔
Neil.
571
00:29:35,733 --> 00:29:37,109
你憔悴万分啊
You look pale.
572
00:29:37,110 --> 00:29:38,568
你孕味十足
You look pregnant.
573
00:29:38,569 --> 00:29:41,071
你像是睡厨房馊水池的
You look like you slept in a soup kitchen urinal.
574
00:29:41,072 --> 00:29:43,699
你像是在那流产诊所后废墟里泡过澡的
You look like you bathed in a Dumpster behind the abortion clinic.
575
00:29:43,700 --> 00:29:46,076
你就是那圣诞节得癌症的倒霉孩子
You look like the kid who got cancer for Christmas.
576
00:29:46,077 --> 00:29:48,078
{\an8}The Golden Girls:<黄金女郎>
几位老奶奶住在一起回忆过去
577
00:29:46,077 --> 00:29:48,078
你就是混迹夜总会的老荡妇
You look like the slutty one on The Golden Girls.
578
00:29:48,079 --> 00:29:49,746
{\an8}<黄金女郎>里角色名
579
00:29:48,079 --> 00:29:49,746
- 你说桃乐茜? - 布兰奇.
- Dorothy? - Blanche.
580
00:29:49,747 --> 00:29:52,207
收回那话! 你他妈婊子养的!
You take that back! You son of a bitch!
581
00:29:52,208 --> 00:29:54,127
收回那话! 收回那话!
You take it back! Take that back!
582
00:29:58,006 --> 00:29:59,507
我想好好品尝你
I want to taste you.
583
00:30:00,008 --> 00:30:03,136
慢慢舔到你湿得不行
I want to lick you till you weep.
584
00:30:10,101 --> 00:30:11,435
你胃酸反流怎么样了?
How's your acid reflux?
585
00:30:11,436 --> 00:30:12,770
你的瘤病毒病怎么样了?
How's your HPV?
586
00:30:13,104 --> 00:30:15,272
是你发病了 维罗尼卡 我只是携带者
It's your HPV, Veronica. I'm just carrying it.
587
00:30:15,273 --> 00:30:18,108
我们还是别来争论先有鸡还是先有蛋了 尼尔
Let's not have another chicken or the egg debate, Neil.
588
00:30:18,109 --> 00:30:20,235
不行 开始
No. Let's.
589
00:30:20,236 --> 00:30:25,116
- 鸡 - 蛋
- Chicken. - Egg.
590
00:30:26,534 --> 00:30:28,244
你那涂满
Your flesh...
591
00:30:29,162 --> 00:30:31,372
可可油的肌肤
slick with cocoa butter...
592
00:30:33,291 --> 00:30:34,792
让我魂牵梦绕
it haunts me.
593
00:30:40,256 --> 00:30:41,696
维罗尼卡怎么样了?
How's Veronica?
594
00:30:41,697 --> 00:30:43,258
维罗尼卡很好 维罗尼卡
Veronica's fine, Veronica.
595
00:30:43,259 --> 00:30:45,177
真不敢相信你居然把你的狗叫做维罗尼卡
I can't believe you named your dog Veronica.
596
00:30:45,178 --> 00:30:46,196
无法想象你居然会去
Can't believe you sucked off
597
00:30:46,197 --> 00:30:47,554
和魔法豆游乐场的流浪汉搞口交
that hobo from Magic Bean.
598
00:30:47,555 --> 00:30:49,265
他是男巫 尼尔
He was a wizard, Neil.
599
00:30:51,642 --> 00:30:53,561
嘘 我想推倒你
Shh. I wanna be on you.
600
00:30:54,187 --> 00:30:55,521
上你
In you.
601
00:31:00,651 --> 00:31:02,277
我想...
I wanna be...
602
00:31:02,278 --> 00:31:04,447
吻遍
all...
603
00:31:09,202 --> 00:31:12,205
你的下巴
over your chin.
604
00:31:16,793 --> 00:31:19,212
你还喜欢法式焦糖布丁吗?
Do you still like crme brle?
605
00:31:19,420 --> 00:31:22,339
你还喜欢被爆菊吗?
Do you still like fingers in your butthole?
606
00:31:22,340 --> 00:31:24,175
你明知故问
You know the answer is yes.
607
00:31:25,093 --> 00:31:26,176
噢 尼尔
Oh, Neil.
608
00:31:26,177 --> 00:31:27,720
维罗尼卡
Veronica.
609
00:31:28,096 --> 00:31:30,348
- 尼尔 - 维罗尼卡
- Neil. - Veronica.
610
00:31:30,681 --> 00:31:32,307
我想忘记你
I wanna get over you.
611
00:31:32,308 --> 00:31:34,560
我想在你阴部留下爱的印记
I wanna give you a hickey on your vagina.
612
00:31:46,239 --> 00:31:48,616
你已经做到了 尼尔
You already have, Neil.
613
00:31:50,326 --> 00:31:52,203
你已经做到了
You already have.
614
00:31:58,251 --> 00:32:00,086
教堂见
I'll see you in church.
615
00:32:00,211 --> 00:32:01,629
我要先去找你...
Not if I see you f...
616
00:32:17,353 --> 00:32:18,396
我说两句?
May I?
617
00:32:22,525 --> 00:32:27,405
我不是罗密欧 诸位 但我知道什么是爱
I'm no Romeo, folks, but I know what love is.
618
00:32:27,530 --> 00:32:32,502
爱情就是在你首次互戒会上隔着裤子撸一发
It's an over-the-chinos rub and tug during your first AA meeting.
619
00:32:32,743 --> 00:32:34,244
对 对 没错
Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Yeah.
620
00:32:34,245 --> 00:32:36,371
如果我是你
And if I was in your shoes,
621
00:32:36,372 --> 00:32:41,343
我会不惜低声下气奋力把她挽回
I would climb Dick Mountain mouth first just to get her back!
622
00:32:41,544 --> 00:32:42,670
对的 先生
Yes Sir!
623
00:32:42,795 --> 00:32:45,672
我们会让那小狐狸精
Are we gonna let that foxy little thing...
624
00:32:45,673 --> 00:32:48,800
随便就与这男孩不相往来吗?
run willy-nilly out of this boy's life?
625
00:32:48,801 --> 00:32:50,385
不会! 不会!
No! No!
626
00:32:50,386 --> 00:32:52,304
我们要帮助这年轻人
Are we gonna help this youngster...
627
00:32:52,305 --> 00:32:55,141
挽回那甜妞吗?
take that sweet ass to pound town?
628
00:32:56,267 --> 00:32:58,685
- 你什么时候换班? - 凌晨五点
- When's your shift up? - Five a.m.
629
00:32:58,686 --> 00:33:01,647
- 我代班到三点 - 三点到五点我来!
- I'll take it till three. - I got three to five!
630
00:33:02,398 --> 00:33:03,441
谢谢
Thank you.
631
00:33:04,650 --> 00:33:06,569
无需多说
Don't be a bitch about it.
632
00:33:07,403 --> 00:33:08,696
去追她回来 孩子!
Go get her, son!
633
00:33:17,330 --> 00:33:18,539
这是什么?
What's that?
634
00:33:29,165 --> 00:33:30,567
音乐新畅享
635
00:33:31,765 --> 00:33:32,567
爱宝
636
00:33:44,065 --> 00:33:46,567
没你想的那么激动人心 也就是...
It's not as exciting as you might think. It's... It's...
637
00:33:47,360 --> 00:33:50,445
对我来说 也就是助人为乐
For me, I like to say it's more about, just like, helping people, you know.
638
00:33:50,446 --> 00:33:53,740
- 不是处罚不法分子 - 是的 我懂的
- It's not about punishing criminals... - Right, yeah, I totally understand.
639
00:33:53,741 --> 00:33:55,617
- 帮助人会让我觉得开心 - 罗宾!
- It's just, it makes you feel good... - Robin!
640
00:33:55,618 --> 00:33:57,328
- 不是吧 - 罗宾!
- Oh, no. - Robin!
641
00:33:59,247 --> 00:34:00,456
罗宾 你去哪啦? 嗨 你好啊
Hey, Robin. Where you been? Hi, how you doing.
642
00:34:00,581 --> 00:34:02,501
你竟敢和假释官爽约
You missed your meeting with your parole officer.
643
00:34:03,084 --> 00:34:04,350
什么? 假释官?
What? Parole officer?
644
00:34:04,351 --> 00:34:05,502
不是 他开玩笑的
No. He's kidding.
645
00:34:05,503 --> 00:34:07,629
是啊 这家伙前阵子惹了点麻烦
Yeah, yeah, this guy got in some trouble a while back for...
646
00:34:07,630 --> 00:34:10,006
在操场上玩弄他的小鸡鸡
whipping out his little Dick Grayson on a playground.
647
00:34:10,007 --> 00:34:11,174
没有 我才没有
No, I didn't.
648
00:34:11,175 --> 00:34:11,695
但是 没事的
But, it's all good.
649
00:34:11,696 --> 00:34:12,676
我是说 反正你老婆都原谅你了 是吧?
I mean, your wife forgave you, right?
650
00:34:12,677 --> 00:34:14,428
- 什么? - 你结婚了?
- What? - You're married?
651
00:34:15,429 --> 00:34:17,430
- 误入婚途了啊 - 不是 我没有!
- Married pervert. Yeah. - No, I'm not!
652
00:34:17,431 --> 00:34:19,474
史黛西 我没有结婚! 他开玩笑的!
Stacey, I'm... I'm not married! He's kidding!
653
00:34:19,475 --> 00:34:21,434
兄弟 你这可是躲过一劫啊
Oh, man. Dodged that bullet.
654
00:34:21,435 --> 00:34:23,603
你他妈想干什么 蝙蝠侠! 都被你给毁了!
The hell are you doing here, Batman! You're gonna ruin this!
655
00:34:23,604 --> 00:34:25,438
淡定啦! 听着 我刚刷微博看到
Calm down! Hey, look, I read on Twitter...
656
00:34:25,439 --> 00:34:28,275
一超级混蛋要来炸场子
that a super-villain's gonna bomb this loser meet and greet.
657
00:34:28,276 --> 00:34:31,403
所以我来拯救拯救啦 我不是向来如此嘛
So I'm here to save the day, like I do, all the time.
658
00:34:31,404 --> 00:34:32,529
你懂啦 这是我的职责
I mean, you know, it's my thing.
659
00:34:32,530 --> 00:34:34,406
- 谁要我是蝙蝠侠! - 胡说八道
- I'm the Batman! - Yeah, baloney!
660
00:34:34,407 --> 00:34:37,242
你就是一如既往地妨碍我勾搭妹子
You're here to ruin my chances with women like you do all the time.
661
00:34:37,243 --> 00:34:39,703
怎么可能 兄弟 不是啦! 我可是很挺你的
No way, brother! No way! No, I'm-I'm in support of this.
662
00:34:39,704 --> 00:34:42,414
再让你相一场 我们再去排查炸弹
Get one more speed date, okay, then we gotta find that bomb.
663
00:34:42,415 --> 00:34:44,250
这坑爹呢
Ah, this sucks.
664
00:34:45,459 --> 00:34:48,253
{\an8}wonder boy: 神奇小子 动画里称赞罗宾的话
665
00:34:45,459 --> 00:34:48,253
小提示 男人点 奇迹多 知道吧?
Uh, little tip. Uh, less boy, more wonder, right?
666
00:34:48,254 --> 00:34:49,296
这点子好
Ah, that's very clever.
667
00:34:49,297 --> 00:34:51,464
- 亮瞎她们! - 好 多谢
- Dazzle them! - Yeah, okay. Thanks.
668
00:34:51,465 --> 00:34:52,466
嗨
Hi.
669
00:34:52,717 --> 00:34:55,427
- 嗨 - 我是洛伊斯 洛伊斯·莱恩
- Oh, hi. - Lois. Lois Lane.
670
00:34:55,428 --> 00:34:57,471
不 我认识 我...
No, I... l know. I've... I've...
671
00:34:58,014 --> 00:35:00,682
我是罗宾 我们以前见过几次
it's... it's me, Robin. We... We've met several times.
672
00:35:00,683 --> 00:35:04,227
- 哪个罗宾? - 罗宾 就是罗宾
- Robin what? - Ro... Robin. That's it.
673
00:35:04,228 --> 00:35:06,438
我帮忙从莱克斯·卢瑟手里救你出来
I helped save you from Lex Luthor.
674
00:35:06,439 --> 00:35:07,480
不记得了
Sorry.
675
00:35:07,481 --> 00:35:09,524
你说 "我永生不忘你的救命之恩"
You were like, "I'll never forget this as long as I live."
676
00:35:09,525 --> 00:35:10,776
还是没印象
Sorry again.
677
00:35:11,193 --> 00:35:13,486
- 我以为你在和超人约会 - 没有
- I thought you were dating Superman. - No, no.
678
00:35:13,487 --> 00:35:16,406
- 我们六个月前分手了 - 我不知道
- We broke up about six months ago. - I didn't-l didn't know that.
679
00:35:16,407 --> 00:35:18,492
- 从那以后他就一直跟踪我 - 真的?
- He's been stalking me ever since. - Really?
680
00:35:19,410 --> 00:35:21,662
昨晚 我从我卧室窗望去
Last night, I look out my bedroom window,
681
00:35:22,038 --> 00:35:24,122
他就在窗口飘着呢
and there he is just floating there,
682
00:35:24,123 --> 00:35:27,542
就在那儿撸管自慰!
just stroking that nasty little curl, and masturbating!
683
00:35:27,543 --> 00:35:30,337
然后射到我窗户上!
Blew his wad all over my window!
684
00:35:30,338 --> 00:35:31,718
窗户都被他弄坏了!
He broke the window!
685
00:35:31,719 --> 00:35:33,214
从他那...
The, the... From the...
686
00:35:33,215 --> 00:35:36,218
他的精液像猎枪一样凶猛
Uh, his jizz is like a shotgun blast!
687
00:35:36,302 --> 00:35:38,059
你知道他头发上涂的粘状物吗?
You know that shiny stuff in his hair?
688
00:35:38,060 --> 00:35:38,763
那可不是发胶
It's not hair gel.
689
00:35:41,057 --> 00:35:43,100
- 洛伊斯! 天啊 - 不会吧!
- Lois! Oh, my God! - Oh, no!
690
00:35:43,142 --> 00:35:44,269
真高兴见到你!
Nice to see you!
691
00:35:44,270 --> 00:35:46,186
很高兴被你见到啊 真是开心啊!
Nice to be seen! Oh, my goodness!
692
00:35:46,187 --> 00:35:47,187
别 我们在...
No, no, no. Yeah, we're in the...
693
00:35:47,188 --> 00:35:49,230
- 你们认识? - 是啊 我们是同事
- Do you know each other? - Yeah, we work together.
694
00:35:49,231 --> 00:35:50,483
- 是吗? - 超人怎么样了?
- You do? - Hey, how's Superman?
695
00:35:51,525 --> 00:35:53,360
我现在给他个电话 实际上 我得...
I'm gonna give him a call right now, actually. I need...
696
00:35:53,361 --> 00:35:55,362
- 不要 别这么干 - 才不 这就联系他
- No, no! Don't do that! - Oh, no, I'm gonna do it.
697
00:35:55,363 --> 00:35:57,030
- 蝙蝠侠 不要 求你啦 - 已经接通啦
- Batman, don't. Please. Please. - It's already ringing.
698
00:35:57,031 --> 00:35:59,783
超人! 在干吗呢 兄弟 我是黑暗骑士
Hey, Soups! What's up, brother! It's the Dark Knight.
699
00:35:59,784 --> 00:36:01,326
老兄 我刚好想起你
Hey, man, I was just thinking about you here...
700
00:36:01,327 --> 00:36:03,119
因为我正和洛伊斯在一起呢
cause I'm sitting with Lois...
701
00:36:03,120 --> 00:36:05,372
她正和我小弟罗宾约会呢
and she's on a date with my boy, Robin.
702
00:36:05,373 --> 00:36:07,457
- 不 - 他挂了 掉线啦
- No! - Oh, he hung up. I lost him.
703
00:36:07,458 --> 00:36:10,293
离洛伊斯远点 否则我用我的热力...
Stay away from Lois or I'll use my heat vision...
704
00:36:10,294 --> 00:36:14,090
把你两蛋蛋烤得不像样
to fuse your balls into one big ridiculous uniball.
705
00:36:14,131 --> 00:36:15,340
超人 你误会了
Superman, you don't understand.
706
00:36:15,341 --> 00:36:17,635
我不是来这泡你女友的 那才是疯了!
I'm not here to hit on your girlfriend. That's crazy!
707
00:36:17,718 --> 00:36:20,220
蝙蝠侠和我是卧底 我们在找炸弹
Batman and I are undercover and we're looking for a bomb.
708
00:36:20,221 --> 00:36:21,471
炸弹?
Bomb?
709
00:36:21,472 --> 00:36:23,556
我才不管什么炸弹的事
I don't give two super-shits about a bomb.
710
00:36:23,557 --> 00:36:27,770
只要我和洛伊斯嘿咻 就能容光焕发
As long as I'm balls-deep in Lois, I'm solid gold.
711
00:36:29,063 --> 00:36:31,273
离洛伊斯远点 贱人
Stay away from Lois, bitch!
712
00:36:31,732 --> 00:36:33,317
- 该死的! - 他就那样!
- Goddammit! - That's his thing!
713
00:36:34,276 --> 00:36:35,610
不是 我告诉他
No, so I told him, you know,
714
00:36:35,611 --> 00:36:37,278
"我们要去打击犯罪 兄弟 所以..."
"I mean, we're gonna be fighting crime, buddy, so..."
715
00:36:37,279 --> 00:36:38,321
噢 他来了
Oh, there he is.
716
00:36:38,322 --> 00:36:39,531
"你应该穿上裤子 "
"Uh, you know, you should put on some pants."
717
00:36:39,532 --> 00:36:41,324
但是他就喜欢他那装束 所以
But he liked the costume the way it is, so,
718
00:36:41,325 --> 00:36:42,805
所以 拿他没办法啦 孩子都那样
you know, what are you gonna do. Kids.
719
00:36:43,035 --> 00:36:45,078
- 星期四? - 没错
- Well... Thursday? - Thursday it is!
720
00:36:45,079 --> 00:36:46,538
- 回见 - 好
- See you then. - All right, now.
721
00:36:46,539 --> 00:36:49,542
美腿啊
And, nice legs.
722
00:36:50,584 --> 00:36:52,585
是你让我穿成这样的 是他让我这样穿的!
You make me wear this. He makes me wear this outfit!
723
00:36:52,586 --> 00:36:54,547
不公平啊! 我不喜欢穿成这样!
So unfair! I hate it!
724
00:36:56,590 --> 00:36:58,425
她真有趣! 好啦 约会结束啦 我们走
She's a hoot! All right, that was your date. Let's go.
725
00:36:58,426 --> 00:37:01,553
- 胡扯 真根本不算! - 怎么不算了?
- Bullcrap! That doesn't count! - What do you mean that doesn't count?
726
00:37:01,554 --> 00:37:02,804
有妹纸 那就是约会啦
That was a girl, this was a date.
727
00:37:02,805 --> 00:37:04,606
现在 动起来 找炸弹去吧
Now, let's boogie. We gotta go find that bomb.
728
00:37:05,307 --> 00:37:07,350
求你啦 让我再来一次 那次不算 拜托
Please, just let me do one more. That doesn't count. Please.
729
00:37:07,351 --> 00:37:09,602
天啊 你这孩子 来吧 坐下
Oh, my God, you're such a baby. Go! Sit down. Fine.
730
00:37:09,603 --> 00:37:10,687
- 真好! - 好 开始吧
- Yes! - Fine. Go ahead.
731
00:37:10,688 --> 00:37:12,397
玩得开心 但这次你不能单枪匹马
Have fun. But you're not gonna do it on your own.
732
00:37:12,398 --> 00:37:13,606
- 把这塞你耳朵里 - 什么东西?
- Pop that in your ear. - What's that?
733
00:37:13,607 --> 00:37:15,692
我的任务就是藏在桌子下
What I'm gonna do is I'm gonna get underneath the table,
734
00:37:15,693 --> 00:37:19,612
在下面教你说话 帮你搞定
hide down there and feed you lines to help bag this next gal.
735
00:37:19,613 --> 00:37:21,239
明白 就像电影<大鼻子情圣>
Oh, right, like Cyrano de Bergerac.
736
00:37:21,240 --> 00:37:23,158
我不知道那个电影 更像是<爱上罗珊>
I don't know what that is. It's more like Roxanne.
737
00:37:23,159 --> 00:37:25,452
但我更想我自己搞定
Okay, but look, I... I'd really rather do this on my own.
738
00:37:25,453 --> 00:37:27,537
我听到了 我也很是欣赏你的话
Okay, and I hear you, and I appreciate what you're saying,
739
00:37:27,538 --> 00:37:29,790
- 但是 我还是决定帮忙 - 拜托不要
- but I, you know, I'm gonna do it. - Please don't.
740
00:37:30,541 --> 00:37:31,363
我决定做
I'm gonna do it.
741
00:37:31,364 --> 00:37:33,126
蝙蝠侠 不要啊 拜托 不要
Batman, don't. Please, please, don't...
742
00:37:33,127 --> 00:37:36,338
很抱歉 我迟到了 卫生间人真多
Hi. Sorry, sorry I'm late. There's a line in the bathroom.
743
00:37:36,630 --> 00:37:37,714
你好 我是女超人
Hi. I'm Supergirl.
744
00:37:37,715 --> 00:37:39,675
- 我的名字... - 我叫罗宾
- My name... - I'm Robin.
745
00:37:40,593 --> 00:37:41,594
你好 我叫罗宾
Hi, I'm Robin.
746
00:37:43,554 --> 00:37:44,679
你打哪来?
Um, so where you from?
747
00:37:44,680 --> 00:37:45,891
那 你打哪来?
So, where you from?
748
00:37:45,892 --> 00:37:47,224
我... 克莱普顿星
I... Um, Krypton.
749
00:37:48,684 --> 00:37:51,060
克雷普顿 哪... 那个
Krypton, eh. Where... That's, that's, uh...
750
00:37:51,061 --> 00:37:52,562
- 妈呀 - 妈的!
- Oh, shit. - Oh, shit!
751
00:37:52,563 --> 00:37:53,691
兄弟 我看到她下面啦
Dude, I can see her snatch.
752
00:37:53,692 --> 00:37:54,647
兄弟 我可以...
Dude, I can sn...
753
00:37:54,648 --> 00:37:57,192
天啊! 无法置信这大尺寸啊
Oh, my God! I can't believe the size of this thing.
754
00:37:57,193 --> 00:38:01,654
这他妈的像片巨大的麦地 深不可测啊
It's like a giant fucking cornfield. It's enormous down here.
755
00:38:01,655 --> 00:38:05,241
疯啦 看着这个 我... 感觉随时
It's crazy. Look at that. I... I... I feel like at any moment,
756
00:38:05,242 --> 00:38:07,516
赤脚乔·杰克逊可能从中跑出来
Shoeless Joe Jackson could walk out of it
757
00:38:07,517 --> 00:38:08,578
和我一起玩传球
and I could play catch with him.
758
00:38:08,579 --> 00:38:11,179
克莱普顿星 感觉是个好地方
Krypton. I... I hear it's really nice.
759
00:38:11,180 --> 00:38:12,665
我从没去过...
I... I have never been...
760
00:38:12,666 --> 00:38:15,502
你没听说太阳新星毁了我们整个种族吗?
You didn't hear that the Sun supernova and destroyed our entire race?
761
00:38:15,503 --> 00:38:17,003
我想要用它洗盘子
I wanna wash dishes with it.
762
00:38:17,004 --> 00:38:19,422
是吗? 我没...
Did it? I did not...
763
00:38:19,423 --> 00:38:22,133
下面真是个大场面啊
It's a huge, bushy catastrophe down here.
764
00:38:22,134 --> 00:38:24,594
{\an8}西恩·潘与麦当娜结过婚 曾家暴
765
00:38:22,134 --> 00:38:24,594
感觉西恩·潘真该帮忙打理下
Feel like Sean Penn should do a benefit for this thing. It's...
766
00:38:24,595 --> 00:38:27,472
什么? 你能听到他说话 是吧?
What? Oh, no. You can hear him, can't you?
767
00:38:27,473 --> 00:38:28,599
当然 能听到
Yeah, I can hear him.
768
00:38:30,226 --> 00:38:32,520
我也看到蝙蝠侠在桌底下
I can also see Batman underneath the table.
769
00:38:32,686 --> 00:38:34,437
你有透视眼 我懂
Cause of the x-ray vision. Of course.
770
00:38:34,438 --> 00:38:36,584
不是 我直接就可以看到他
No, I can just see him.
771
00:38:36,585 --> 00:38:38,400
这是咖啡桌 过于明显了
It's a cafe table. I mean, it's really obvious.
772
00:38:39,610 --> 00:38:40,694
- 嗨 - 嗨
- Hi. - Hi.
773
00:38:41,695 --> 00:38:44,698
关于你家人的死我很是抱歉...
Ah, dude. I'm so sorry about your family dying and...
774
00:38:46,283 --> 00:38:48,702
兄弟 那让我回到了七十年代啊
Oh, man! That took me back to the seventies, huh?
775
00:38:49,703 --> 00:38:52,705
等下 看到我们要找的罪犯 就是那企鹅
Hold on. There's our culprit. It's the Penguin.
776
00:38:52,706 --> 00:38:54,666
恕我失陪 我要去做些该做的侠义事
Excuse me. I'm gonna go do some Batman-ing.
777
00:38:54,667 --> 00:38:56,168
你要...我帮忙吗?
Do you need any... Can I help?
778
00:38:59,630 --> 00:39:02,007
用手套捡起来有点困难 给你
Oh, it's hard to pick up with gloves. There you go.
779
00:39:02,216 --> 00:39:03,764
不好意思 小甜心 你好啊
Excuse me, sweetie. How you doing.
780
00:39:03,765 --> 00:39:04,717
你介意走远点吗?
You mind fucking off for a little bit?
781
00:39:04,718 --> 00:39:06,427
多谢 感激不尽
Thank you. I appreciate it. Thanks.
782
00:39:06,428 --> 00:39:07,720
- 回见 好公民 - 好大胆子啊你!
- See you later, citizen. - How dare you!
783
00:39:07,721 --> 00:39:10,724
你个婊子养的! 炸弹在哪 你个肥仔?
You son of a bitch! Where's the bomb, you fat fucker?
784
00:39:11,225 --> 00:39:13,435
- 嗨 蠢货! - 糟糕
- Hey! Asshole! - Oh, shit.
785
00:39:13,644 --> 00:39:15,562
你们在自以为是什么人? 纯爷们?
What do you think you are? Some big man?
786
00:39:15,563 --> 00:39:17,480
欺负个小胖子?
Picking on a little fat guy?
787
00:39:17,481 --> 00:39:19,650
放轻松! 这位是企鹅 我们的老对头
Take it easy! That's the Penguin. That's what I do.
788
00:39:20,484 --> 00:39:21,734
你干嘛不联系我?
Why didn't you call me?
789
00:39:21,735 --> 00:39:22,986
我...不是...我...
I... No... I...
790
00:39:22,987 --> 00:39:24,738
你说过你会打给我的
You said that you were gonna call me.
791
00:39:25,030 --> 00:39:26,417
等下 我没打吗?
Wait a minute. Did I not?
792
00:39:26,418 --> 00:39:28,576
我拨了号的 我没按接通吗?
I know I dialed a number... Did I not hit "send"?
793
00:39:29,368 --> 00:39:32,997
你说过无论怎样你都会对我不离不弃的
You said that you were gonna stick by me no matter what happened.
794
00:39:33,497 --> 00:39:38,084
然后你的小蝙蝠避孕套破了 你就消失了
And then your little Bat-condom breaks, and then you just disappear!
795
00:39:38,085 --> 00:39:42,464
你明白作为一个神奇女侠要独自去搞
Do you know what it's like going to Planned Parenthood by yourself,
796
00:39:42,756 --> 00:39:44,508
计划生育是什么感受吗?
when you're Wonder Woman?
797
00:39:44,758 --> 00:39:46,509
好吧 谈话主题不是那么浪漫
Okay. Not very romantic talk.
798
00:39:46,510 --> 00:39:49,221
{\an8} 罗伊诉韦德案: 美国堕胎法案
799
00:39:46,510 --> 00:39:49,221
相了次亲竟扯出堕胎法案
Roe v. Wade here at a speed dating situation.
800
00:39:49,471 --> 00:39:51,082
听着 我那时正在打击犯罪行为
Uh, look, I was fighting crime!
801
00:39:51,083 --> 00:39:52,348
问罗宾 罗宾快为我担保
Ask Robin. Robin, vouch for me.
802
00:39:52,349 --> 00:39:53,821
滚完床单他就会哭 你知道吗?
He cries after sex. Do you know that?
803
00:39:53,822 --> 00:39:54,601
我干嘛要知道?
Why would I know that?
804
00:39:54,602 --> 00:39:57,562
哭的跟个小孩 在滚完床单 你说什么来着?
Like a baby. After sex, what do you say?
805
00:39:57,563 --> 00:40:00,607
"噢 我的灵魂真是黑暗" 就因为你小时候
"Oh, my soul's so dark." Because you saw some bats...
806
00:40:00,608 --> 00:40:02,567
看见些变态(蝙蝠)? 你个娘炮!
when you were little? You pussy!
807
00:40:02,568 --> 00:40:05,487
看这啦 忙着把妹拉郎的诸位
Attention, Gotham City speed daters:
808
00:40:06,614 --> 00:40:08,197
他妈的他是怎么过去的?
How the fuck did he get over there?
809
00:40:08,198 --> 00:40:11,284
我这办法真是高明 我不是来相亲的
It was all a clever ruse. I'm not speed dating.
810
00:40:11,285 --> 00:40:13,287
某些人应该记得 我婚后生活美满
Some of you should remember I'm happily married.
811
00:40:13,704 --> 00:40:15,747
- 对哦 - 我婚礼你们都有去
- That's right! - You were all there at the wedding.
812
00:40:15,748 --> 00:40:17,118
这炸弹还在我胸上捆着呢
Okay, bomb strapped to my chest.
813
00:40:17,119 --> 00:40:17,999
对哦 无论怎样
Oh, yes. In any case,
814
00:40:18,000 --> 00:40:20,251
你们得给我一大笔钱
you all have to give me some unimaginable sum of money...
815
00:40:20,252 --> 00:40:22,588
否则我就炸死这女超人
or else I'm going to blow up Supergirl with this bomb.
816
00:40:24,465 --> 00:40:26,299
想不到吧! 引爆装置在这伞里
Dat dat dat dat! The detonator is in this umbrella.
817
00:40:26,300 --> 00:40:27,635
- 去搞定它 - 不 你去搞定
- Cool it. - No, you cool it.
818
00:40:28,636 --> 00:40:30,637
我的好眼睛! 你人呢?
My non-monocled eye! Where are you?
819
00:40:30,638 --> 00:40:31,764
解除!
Disarm!
820
00:40:33,057 --> 00:40:34,266
赞!
Yes!
821
00:40:36,644 --> 00:40:38,395
- 你还好吗? - 是的
- Are you okay? - I think so.
822
00:40:38,812 --> 00:40:41,023
是你救了我!
You saved my life!
823
00:40:41,607 --> 00:40:43,067
我只是做我应做的
Just-Just doing my job.
824
00:40:44,026 --> 00:40:45,444
吻她
Kiss. Kiss her.
825
00:40:47,071 --> 00:40:49,031
撬开她的嘴 舌吻
Open her mouth and touch tongues.
826
00:40:54,078 --> 00:40:56,037
把你的舌头伸进她的嘴里
Put your tongue inside her mouth...
827
00:40:56,038 --> 00:40:58,624
然后慢慢引诱她的舌头进入你的嘴里
and that'll coax her tongue to go into your mouth!
828
00:41:00,459 --> 00:41:03,045
对! 摸咪咪
Yeah! You, uh, squeeze her boobies.
829
00:41:03,128 --> 00:41:04,672
对的 摸屁股
Yeah, and touch her butt.
830
00:41:06,048 --> 00:41:08,050
- 这很有爱吧? - 好有爱啊
- Doesn't that look nice? - It looks so nice.
831
00:41:08,258 --> 00:41:11,053
等下 不要这么快!
Oh, yeah. Hold on! Not so fast!
832
00:41:14,598 --> 00:41:16,057
噢 天啊!
Oh, God!
833
00:41:16,058 --> 00:41:17,476
- 谜妖! - 谜妖!
- Riddler! - Riddler!
834
00:41:18,352 --> 00:41:20,437
没错!就是谜妖!
That is right! The Riddler!
835
00:41:20,771 --> 00:41:22,787
这计划就恶毒在借口拆除炸弹
In a diabolical scheme to get Robin and me
836
00:41:22,788 --> 00:41:24,649
让我跟罗宾来这里参加相亲
to this speed date to stop a bomb,
837
00:41:24,650 --> 00:41:29,650
其实只是想把引诱罗宾到某个破仓库里
only to lure Robin away to some seedy warehouse...
838
00:41:29,655 --> 00:41:33,449
然后你想把他挂在一个填满图钉的大桶上
where you're gonna hang him above a vat filled with thumbtacks...
839
00:41:33,450 --> 00:41:35,661
或者装满蜥蜴什么的操蛋玩意儿!
or lizards or some fucking bullshit!
840
00:41:36,453 --> 00:41:37,704
你不会得逞的 小瘪三!
Well it didn't work, muchacho!
841
00:41:37,705 --> 00:41:39,330
太厉害了 你怎么做到的?
That was amazing. How did you do that?
842
00:41:39,331 --> 00:41:41,374
你怎么看出来她是假扮的?
I mean, how'd you know that she was a fake?
843
00:41:41,375 --> 00:41:43,167
那种阴毛尺寸只便于做一件事
Bush that size is only good for one thing,
844
00:41:43,168 --> 00:41:45,712
就是藏好他的老二! 你懂我的意思吗?
and that one thing is hidin' the wang! You know what I'm saying?
845
00:41:45,713 --> 00:41:46,804
等一下 先让我搞清楚情况
Wait. Let me get this straight.
846
00:41:46,805 --> 00:41:47,797
所以你早就知道了吗?
So you knew all the way back then?
847
00:41:47,798 --> 00:41:49,018
你早就知道她是个男的?
You knew that she was a dude?
848
00:41:49,019 --> 00:41:49,716
我一直都知道
Whole time.
849
00:41:49,717 --> 00:41:51,551
为... 为什么你还让我亲她?
Wh... Why'd you make me kiss her?
850
00:41:51,552 --> 00:41:53,512
...他 这档子事
...Him. This.
851
00:41:53,554 --> 00:41:54,595
我不知道
I don't know.
852
00:41:54,596 --> 00:41:57,683
我猜是今早的床气爆棚吧
I guess I woke up this morning with a little case of the fuck-arounds.
853
00:41:58,100 --> 00:42:00,102
我就是在找乐子 兄弟! 嗷!
You know I'm just having fun. My buddy! Woo!
854
00:42:19,747 --> 00:42:21,206
还记得这样的场景吗?
Remember this?
855
00:42:22,541 --> 00:42:23,709
很讨人厌是吗?
Ugly isn't it?
856
00:42:30,132 --> 00:42:31,717
请想想他们的感受
But think how they feel.
857
00:42:32,968 --> 00:42:35,971
为了让你生活得更好 不图回报地工作
Working without thanks to make your life better.
858
00:42:47,733 --> 00:42:51,361
孤独 没人关爱 常受伤害
Lonely, unloved, hurt.
859
00:42:57,743 --> 00:43:01,163
承受着身体 言语 情感上的虐待...
Physical, verbal, emotional abuse...
860
00:43:01,747 --> 00:43:03,999
去完成你想做的事
to get what we want done.
861
00:43:07,503 --> 00:43:09,713
你难道不明白他们已经尽力了吗?
Can't you see they're doing their best?
862
00:43:17,221 --> 00:43:19,722
他们不想占领你的世界
They're not trying to take over your world.
863
00:43:19,723 --> 00:43:22,976
他们只希望在你心里能有一席之地
They're just trying to find a little place in your hearts.
864
00:43:23,727 --> 00:43:28,023
请谨记 机器中住满了孩子
Remember, machines, they're full of kids.
865
00:43:35,572 --> 00:43:36,990
伙计 点那个按钮
Dude, click the button.
866
00:43:38,158 --> 00:43:39,493
不要点那个按钮
Do not click the button.
867
00:43:40,244 --> 00:43:42,996
- 你他妈是谁啊? - 我是牛头怪
- Who the fuck are you? - I am the Minotaur.
868
00:43:43,205 --> 00:43:45,039
你们正在我的迷宫里
You are in my maze.
869
00:43:45,040 --> 00:43:47,208
你知道在哪能找到电影四十三吗?
Do you know where we can find Movie 43?
870
00:43:47,209 --> 00:43:50,254
电影四十三? 电影四十三?
Movie 43? Movie 43?
871
00:43:50,754 --> 00:43:55,175
你做好脑袋被剁成小碎块的准备了吗?
Are you prepared to have your brains butchered into tiny pieces?
872
00:43:55,259 --> 00:44:00,055
你做好被饥饿的老鼠啃掉眼珠
Are you prepared to have a starving rat nibble out your eyeballs,
873
00:44:00,097 --> 00:44:05,090
还要被愤怒的发情公狼干的准备了吗?
and then have the holes fucked by angry, thick-dicked wolves?
874
00:44:05,102 --> 00:44:06,293
哥们儿 冷静点
Dude, calm down.
875
00:44:06,294 --> 00:44:08,230
我觉得... 你只是误会了
I think you're... I think you're just confused.
876
00:44:08,647 --> 00:44:11,275
我们是在讲电影四十三 你都没听说过吧
We're... we're talking about Movie 43. You've never heard of that.
877
00:44:12,025 --> 00:44:14,194
噢耶 找到她啦
Oh, yeah. She's here.
878
00:44:14,653 --> 00:44:17,030
我觉得我们真是有缘
I think we have a connection.
879
00:44:19,283 --> 00:44:20,116
据我们所知
It is the one movie
880
00:44:20,117 --> 00:44:22,618
这是一部可以使社会文明完全崩塌的电影
that can bring down society as we know it.
881
00:44:22,619 --> 00:44:25,496
不 哥们儿 它不是这样的 我保证
No, dude. That's something different. I guarantee it.
882
00:44:25,497 --> 00:44:30,042
我已立誓阻止任何人观看这部电影
I have taken a vow to keep anybody from viewing this film.
883
00:44:30,043 --> 00:44:31,085
哥们儿 哥们儿
Dude, dude.
884
00:44:31,086 --> 00:44:34,464
这家伙说的是真的 他用的防火墙我从没见过
This guy's for real. He's protected by firewalls I've never even seen.
885
00:44:34,715 --> 00:44:36,048
我们要按这个按钮
We gotta click this button.
886
00:44:36,049 --> 00:44:38,552
不要按下去
Do not click the button.
887
00:44:39,303 --> 00:44:41,263
不要按...
Do not click the...
888
00:44:42,556 --> 00:44:43,724
去死吧!
Suck it!
889
00:44:53,108 --> 00:44:55,292
泰勒·迪·萨托 十五岁
Tyler De Soto. Fifteen.
890
00:44:55,293 --> 00:44:57,112
住在弗罗里达圣露茜港
Port St. Lucie, Florida.
891
00:44:57,279 --> 00:44:59,072
他只失去了一根手指
He only lost a finger.
892
00:45:05,287 --> 00:45:06,496
太可怕了
It's horrific.
893
00:45:07,497 --> 00:45:10,082
可我还是不清楚有什么问题
I'm still not seeing what the problem is, though.
894
00:45:10,083 --> 00:45:11,126
布莱恩?
Brian?
895
00:45:11,251 --> 00:45:15,297
爱宝搭载了最先进的3.2Ghz处理器
The iBabe has an advanced 3.2 gigahertz processor.
896
00:45:15,339 --> 00:45:18,674
上面预留有散热口 其中配置了一台高效
We left an opening for a vent and then we placed a highly-efficient,
897
00:45:18,675 --> 00:45:23,430
大马力的微型风扇
super powerful micro-fan in the opening.
898
00:45:24,139 --> 00:45:27,266
- 然后呢? - 散热口就在她的
- And? - The vent is in her,
899
00:45:27,267 --> 00:45:28,309
下腹部
Lower quadrant.
900
00:45:28,310 --> 00:45:30,061
私处
Vagi-port.
901
00:45:30,062 --> 00:45:31,687
- 阴道 - 私处
- Vagina. - Vagi-port.
902
00:45:31,688 --> 00:45:33,147
散热口就在阴道部位
The vent is in the vagina.
903
00:45:33,148 --> 00:45:35,608
相当一部分的年轻买家
A certain percentage of our younger demographic...
904
00:45:35,609 --> 00:45:39,154
把那什么... 你知道的 插到散热口里
are sticking their you-know-what in the vent.
905
00:45:40,072 --> 00:45:41,155
我不知道
No, I don't know what.
906
00:45:41,156 --> 00:45:43,575
孩子们把阴茎插到了散热口里
Kids are sticking their penises in the vent.
907
00:45:44,076 --> 00:45:46,745
然后风扇就会把阴茎割碎
The fan then mangles their penises.
908
00:45:47,120 --> 00:45:48,120
真恶心!
Disgusting!
909
00:45:48,121 --> 00:45:50,539
先生 爱宝是一台...
Sir, the iBabe is a...
910
00:45:50,540 --> 00:45:53,125
高保真音乐播放器
High fidelity music player.
911
00:45:53,126 --> 00:45:56,546
没错 但它在视觉上和触觉上都像极了裸女
Yes, it also looks and feels exactly like a naked woman.
912
00:45:57,381 --> 00:46:01,593
生理上讲 青少年会不由地被裸女吸引
Teenage boys are physically attracted to naked women.
913
00:46:01,718 --> 00:46:04,137
我们的调研结果并非如此 先生
Our research doesn't support that, sir.
914
00:46:04,179 --> 00:46:07,724
至少 我们要在包装盒上贴个警告标识
Look, at the very least, we need to put a warning sticker on the box.
915
00:46:08,350 --> 00:46:09,815
其他Mp3都没有
Other MP3 players don't have a warning
916
00:46:09,816 --> 00:46:12,562
"不准和它做爱"的警告 是吧?
not to have sex with it. Right?
917
00:46:13,355 --> 00:46:15,983
薯片包装上不会贴着这样的警告
A bag of potato chips doesn't have a warning,
918
00:46:16,149 --> 00:46:18,610
"请不要操薯片"
Please don't fuck these potato chips.
919
00:46:19,194 --> 00:46:20,696
我是疯了吗?
Am I crazy here?
920
00:46:21,154 --> 00:46:23,365
真想不到会有人这样做
None of us could have seen this one coming.
921
00:46:23,407 --> 00:46:24,407
我会
I did.
922
00:46:24,408 --> 00:46:26,576
{\an8}艾琳·布劳科维奇: 出演电影<永不妥协>
923
00:46:24,408 --> 00:46:26,576
放轻松 死较真儿
Take it easy, Erin Brockovich.
924
00:46:29,121 --> 00:46:31,414
研发小组 你们做过大量试验
R and D team. You did extensive testing here.
925
00:46:31,415 --> 00:46:34,041
各位预料下 会有人破坏冷却系统吗?
Did you anticipate anybody breaching the cooling system?
926
00:46:34,042 --> 00:46:35,209
有没有反对意见?
Any red flags?
927
00:46:35,210 --> 00:46:36,378
戴夫?
Dave?
928
00:46:39,172 --> 00:46:43,760
而且 我们把问题分解成了三步
Also, we've broken down our problem into three steps.
929
00:46:43,969 --> 00:46:46,972
第一 孩子们购买爱宝
Step 1: Kid buys iBabe.
930
00:46:48,348 --> 00:46:51,351
第二 孩子们和爱宝乱搞
Step 2: Kid fucks iBabe.
931
00:46:52,185 --> 00:46:56,940
第三 孩子们的老二被切坏了 控告我们
Step 3: Kid mangles dick and sues us.
932
00:46:58,275 --> 00:47:03,213
我们的目标是 杜绝第二步和第三步
Our goal is to eliminate step two and step three.
933
00:47:07,367 --> 00:47:09,786
现在我知道问题出在哪了
Now I know what the problem is.
934
00:47:11,371 --> 00:47:13,086
为什么不把风扇移走?
Why don't we just move the fan?
935
00:47:13,087 --> 00:47:14,958
为什么不放在她的耳朵里?
Why don't we just put it in her ear?
936
00:47:15,000 --> 00:47:16,793
不不不不不不 先生
No. No, no, no, no, no, sir.
937
00:47:17,419 --> 00:47:20,421
我们花了两年才取得这些成果
Uh, my team spent two years doing the impossible,
938
00:47:20,422 --> 00:47:24,216
你这样几乎就是命令我们从头开始
and you're pretty much just telling us to go back and start from scratch.
939
00:47:24,217 --> 00:47:26,385
你懂的 就是打自己的脸
You know, to go fuck ourselves!
940
00:47:26,386 --> 00:47:30,222
听我说 爱宝重达一百多磅 知道吗?
Okay, look. The iBabe weighs over a hundred pounds, okay?
941
00:47:30,223 --> 00:47:33,184
把它带到公共场合是违法的
It's basically illegal to take it out in public.
942
00:47:33,185 --> 00:47:36,312
妇女组织正在呼吁联合抵制我们公司
Women's organizations are calling for the boycott of our entire company.
943
00:47:36,313 --> 00:47:38,043
我们的股价直线下跌
Our stock is plummeting
944
00:47:38,044 --> 00:47:40,984
而且孩子们的小弟弟时刻都可能受重伤
and kids' dicks are getting horribly mangled!
945
00:47:43,028 --> 00:47:44,404
进来 进来 进来
Uh, come in, come in, come in.
946
00:47:44,446 --> 00:47:49,241
先生 请允许我为您介绍特版爱宝
Sir, may I introduce you to the iBabe Special Edition.
947
00:47:49,242 --> 00:47:50,452
天啊
Oh, my God.
948
00:47:53,497 --> 00:47:56,415
更快的处理器 双倍内存
Faster processing, double storage capacity,
949
00:47:56,416 --> 00:47:58,460
还有这优雅的外形
and how about that elegant finish.
950
00:48:00,295 --> 00:48:02,297
真是太美了 太美了 太美了!
Just gorgeous. Gorgeous, gorgeous!
951
00:48:02,464 --> 00:48:04,173
- 恭喜你! - 谢谢
- Congratulations! - Thank you.
952
00:48:04,174 --> 00:48:08,053
终于可以为顾客提供肤色选择了
Finally we can give our customers a choice of color.
953
00:48:09,262 --> 00:48:12,432
天啊 我怎么觉得它烂到不能再烂了呢
Oh, my God. Just when I thought it couldn't get more offensive.
954
00:48:14,267 --> 00:48:16,019
饶了我吧
Oh, for Christ's sake.
955
00:48:18,271 --> 00:48:19,481
啊 现在我懂了
Yeah. Now I understand.
956
00:48:31,787 --> 00:48:33,288
爱宝
只可远观 不可亵玩
957
00:48:33,787 --> 00:48:35,288
够了! 够了!
Enough! Enough!
958
00:48:35,455 --> 00:48:38,332
你们想要什么? 钱? 女人?
What do you want? Money? Women?
959
00:48:38,333 --> 00:48:41,253
不要再找电影四十三了
Just stop looking for Movie 43.
960
00:48:41,461 --> 00:48:42,712
嗨! 你们是谁?
Hey! Who are you?
961
00:48:43,255 --> 00:48:46,298
电影四十三 电影四十三在哪?
Movie 43. Where is Movie 43?
962
00:48:46,299 --> 00:48:48,301
我不知道你在说什么
I don't know what you're talking about.
963
00:48:49,469 --> 00:48:51,637
电影四十三在哪? 不许说谎!
Where is Movie 43? Don't lie!
964
00:48:51,638 --> 00:48:54,015
放开我! 别碰我! 不要!
Get away from me! Get off me! No!
965
00:48:54,766 --> 00:48:56,309
他妈的!
The fuck, man!
966
00:48:58,061 --> 00:49:00,563
那么你们知道一定电影四十三在哪里
So you know where Movie 43 is.
967
00:49:00,564 --> 00:49:01,605
不!
No!
968
00:49:01,606 --> 00:49:04,400
能让你预见未来的电影
The movie that allows you to see into the future.
969
00:49:04,401 --> 00:49:06,569
不要! 它会毁了全社会!
No! It will destroy society!
970
00:49:06,570 --> 00:49:09,322
按照协议 会使死人复活的!
He will unleash the dead up in protocol!
971
00:49:09,531 --> 00:49:12,284
史蒂夫·施瑞德跟你说过这些吗?
Did Stevie Schraeder tell you any of this?
972
00:49:12,325 --> 00:49:14,494
史蒂夫·施瑞德是谁?
Who is this Stevie Schroeder?
973
00:49:14,744 --> 00:49:16,538
史蒂夫·施瑞德是谁?
Who is Stevie Schroeder?
974
00:49:16,580 --> 00:49:18,386
史蒂夫·施瑞德是谁?
Who is this Stevie Schraeder?
975
00:49:18,387 --> 00:49:20,332
我不认识史蒂夫·施瑞德!
I don't know Stevie Schraeder!
976
00:49:20,333 --> 00:49:21,500
- 你在说谎! - 搞什么?
- You lie! - What the fuck?
977
00:49:21,501 --> 00:49:23,085
操!
Fuck you!
978
00:49:23,086 --> 00:49:24,161
史蒂夫·施瑞德是谁?
Who is Stevie Schroeder?
979
00:49:24,162 --> 00:49:25,629
快告诉我史蒂夫·施瑞德是谁!
You tell me where Stevie Schroeder is!
980
00:49:25,630 --> 00:49:27,256
那混账是谁?
Who is this motherfucker?
981
00:49:27,257 --> 00:49:29,342
妈的 他是我驾驶课的同学!
He's a kid in my fucking Driver's Ed class!
982
00:49:29,676 --> 00:49:31,798
J.j.和巴克斯特
You will find us Movie 43,
983
00:49:31,799 --> 00:49:34,346
你们要为我找到电影四十三
J.J. and Baxter.
984
00:49:34,347 --> 00:49:35,807
麻痹的
What the fuck, man!
985
00:49:36,516 --> 00:49:38,268
继续找!
Keep looking!
986
00:49:38,643 --> 00:49:40,770
- 我在找! - 不要找!
- I'm looking! - Don't look!
987
00:49:42,772 --> 00:49:45,775
我想去参加萨米成人礼 在等答复
I'm, uh, RSVP...ing to Sammy's Bar Mitzvah.
988
00:49:46,443 --> 00:49:47,777
我也是
Yeah, me too.
989
00:49:48,445 --> 00:49:50,780
只去聚会 不去成人礼现场
The party, not the service.
990
00:49:51,364 --> 00:49:54,367
我妈逼我两个都参加 太逊了!
My mom always makes me go to both. Sucks.
991
00:49:56,328 --> 00:49:57,370
是啊
Yeah.
992
00:50:16,389 --> 00:50:17,557
哇哦!
Yeah!
993
00:50:18,141 --> 00:50:21,228
内森这次终于找到妹子约会了!
Nathan on a date for once!
994
00:50:21,394 --> 00:50:23,563
天啊 米奇 闭嘴!
Jesus, Mikey, shut up!
995
00:50:23,605 --> 00:50:25,860
什么? 妈妈让我看着你们的
What? Mom told me to watch you guys.
996
00:50:25,861 --> 00:50:27,150
我只是按她说的做
I'm just doing my job.
997
00:50:28,151 --> 00:50:29,569
我是认真的 米奇 走开!
I mean it, Mikey. Leave!
998
00:50:31,488 --> 00:50:32,697
我在盯着你哦!
I'm watching you.
999
00:50:35,408 --> 00:50:37,410
抱歉 我哥哥是个白痴
Sorry, my brother's an idiot.
1000
00:50:38,161 --> 00:50:39,496
没事的
Whatever.
1001
00:50:43,750 --> 00:50:47,420
- 这有卫生间吗? - 当然 就在那后面
- You have a bathroom? - Totally. It's right back there.
1002
00:50:58,431 --> 00:50:59,516
- 呸! - 内森?
- Yuck! - Nathan?
1003
00:51:01,476 --> 00:51:02,601
内森 我...
Nathan, I...
1004
00:51:02,602 --> 00:51:04,631
我哥哥把果汁喷趣酒洒在沙发上了
My brother spilled fruit punch on the couch.
1005
00:51:04,632 --> 00:51:05,646
染了好大一块红色
There's a big red stain.
1006
00:51:05,647 --> 00:51:07,524
我 我 嗯... 我要走了
I, I, um... I need to go.
1007
00:51:08,149 --> 00:51:10,527
但是再过半小时才会有人来接你啊
But you're not getting picked up for another half hour.
1008
00:51:10,735 --> 00:51:13,029
要再坐一会儿看看电视吗?
Wanna sit and watch some more TV?
1009
00:51:15,073 --> 00:51:17,192
好 我... 我就...
Yeah. I'll... I'll just...
1010
00:51:17,193 --> 00:51:18,660
我就在这边站着看吧
I'll just watch it from back here.
1011
00:51:20,161 --> 00:51:21,746
好棒 我喜欢站着
That's cool. I like standing.
1012
00:51:24,457 --> 00:51:28,044
哇! 米奇还把果酒喷到墙上了!
Whoa! Mikey spilled fruit punch on the wall, too!
1013
00:51:28,461 --> 00:51:29,890
我妈会气疯的!
My mom is gonna be so pissed!
1014
00:51:29,891 --> 00:51:31,463
内森 我真的要走了
Nathan, I really need to go!
1015
00:51:31,464 --> 00:51:33,632
嗨 小情侣 希望我没有...
Hey, lovebirds, I hope I'm not...
1016
00:51:33,633 --> 00:51:36,385
天啊 你流血了! 噢 天啊!
Holy shit, you are covered in blood! Oh, my God!
1017
00:51:36,386 --> 00:51:38,053
- 什么? - 噢 天啊!
- What? - Oh, my God!
1018
00:51:38,054 --> 00:51:39,722
- 天啊! - 天啊!
- Oh, my God! - Oh, my God!
1019
00:51:39,723 --> 00:51:41,043
天啊! 你一定是...
Oh, my God! You must've s...
1020
00:51:41,044 --> 00:51:42,474
坐在钉子或者什么东西上了!
sat on a nail or something!
1021
00:51:42,475 --> 00:51:44,531
你个白痴! 她这是来大姨妈了!
You idiot! She's having her period!
1022
00:51:44,532 --> 00:51:45,103
天啊!
Oh, my God!
1023
00:51:45,478 --> 00:51:46,730
我该做什么?
What do I do?
1024
00:51:47,063 --> 00:51:47,876
你不知道该做什么?
You don't know what to do?
1025
00:51:47,877 --> 00:51:48,772
你之前没有来过大姨妈?
You've never had your period before?
1026
00:51:48,773 --> 00:51:51,025
- 没有 - 噢 天啊!
- No, I haven't. - Oh, my God,
1027
00:51:51,026 --> 00:51:52,627
米奇 她已经流了好多血了!
Mikey, she's already lost a lot of blood!
1028
00:51:53,486 --> 00:51:54,820
好吧 嗯 听好了?
Okay. Um, you know what?
1029
00:51:54,821 --> 00:51:56,822
妈妈在这边存放过一些卫生棉条 知道吧?
Mom's gotta have some tampons around here somewhere, right?
1030
00:51:56,823 --> 00:51:59,074
天啊! 真不敢相信!
Oh, my God! This is not happening!
1031
00:51:59,075 --> 00:52:00,576
妈的! 你比妈妈瘦小多了!
Fuck! You are way skinnier than Mom!
1032
00:52:00,577 --> 00:52:02,494
那... 那东西绝不适合你用!
There... There's no way they're gonna fit you!
1033
00:52:02,495 --> 00:52:04,079
我想走回家去!
Look, I'm just gonna walk home!
1034
00:52:04,080 --> 00:52:06,499
不 不 不! 你不能就这样走回家 傻瓜!
No, no, no, no! You can't walk home in your condition, silly!
1035
00:52:06,583 --> 00:52:08,083
米奇 快!
Mikey, hurry!
1036
00:52:08,084 --> 00:52:09,295
只能找到塑料袋!
There's just plastic bags!
1037
00:52:09,296 --> 00:52:11,046
我不知道我他妈还能干什么!
I don't know what the fuck you want me to do!
1038
00:52:12,213 --> 00:52:13,255
- 干嘛? - 自己擦一擦!
- What? - Wipe yourself!
1039
00:52:13,256 --> 00:52:15,007
嗨 嗨 嗨! 孩子们 我提前回来了
Hey, hey, hey! Guys, I'm home early.
1040
00:52:15,008 --> 00:52:16,259
爸 帮帮我们!
Dad, help us!
1041
00:52:16,593 --> 00:52:18,678
怎么回事 我是内森的爸爸 我叫史蒂夫
Pardon me, I'm Nathan's father, Steve.
1042
00:52:19,262 --> 00:52:22,473
先塞住止血好了 我找到了这个 还有这个
Oh, we're just gonna have to plug it up. I found this and this.
1043
00:52:22,474 --> 00:52:23,754
出什么事了?
All right, what's going on here?
1044
00:52:25,518 --> 00:52:27,770
内森这次约会正赶上她第一次来大姨妈
Nathan's date is on her period for the first time,
1045
00:52:27,771 --> 00:52:29,521
她的血流得到处都是!
and she's bleeding everywhere!
1046
00:52:29,522 --> 00:52:30,522
- 噢 真恶心 - 什么?
- Oh, disgusting. - What?
1047
00:52:30,523 --> 00:52:32,274
我是说 恭喜你 小姐
I mean, congratulations, young lady.
1048
00:52:32,275 --> 00:52:34,526
"恭喜"? 她要流血致死了!
"Congratulations"? She's bleeding to death!
1049
00:52:34,527 --> 00:52:36,528
天啊! 我的肚子好疼!
Oh, my God! My stomach hurts!
1050
00:52:36,529 --> 00:52:38,238
她在宫缩了!
She's having contractions!
1051
00:52:38,239 --> 00:52:40,075
不要! 噢 不!
No! Oh, no!
1052
00:52:40,742 --> 00:52:42,034
好吧
All right.
1053
00:52:42,035 --> 00:52:45,537
9-1-1? 我朋友的阴道在流血!
9-1-1? Yeah, my friend is bleeding out of her vagina!
1054
00:52:45,538 --> 00:52:46,539
内森 内森 听我说!
Nathan, Nathan, listen!
1055
00:52:46,581 --> 00:52:48,625
为什么你在嘲笑我?
Why are you laughing at me?
1056
00:52:49,042 --> 00:52:52,462
就是... 阿曼达的内脏内膜...
It's just... it's... The... The lining of Amanda's...
1057
00:52:52,754 --> 00:52:55,507
从身体里排出来
internal organs just spilling out of her.
1058
00:52:56,132 --> 00:52:57,509
天啊!
Oh, my God!
1059
00:52:57,759 --> 00:52:59,551
我不会死的!
Look, I'm not dying!
1060
00:52:59,552 --> 00:53:01,554
我找到了冻豆子和一块海绵!
I got frozen peas and a sponge!
1061
00:53:01,805 --> 00:53:03,764
如果要保持内膜完整
If you wanna keep the lining intact,
1062
00:53:03,765 --> 00:53:08,060
男人需要把勃起的阴茎插入她的阴道
the man has to insert his erect phallus into her vagina.
1063
00:53:08,061 --> 00:53:08,692
什么?
A what?
1064
00:53:08,693 --> 00:53:10,271
你们猜我找到什么好东西了?
You know what? I got a perfect thing.
1065
00:53:11,564 --> 00:53:13,148
插在棍子上的卫生棉
Maxi pad on a stick.
1066
00:53:13,149 --> 00:53:15,568
天啊! 我死了算了!
Oh, my God! I wanna kill myself!
1067
00:53:15,652 --> 00:53:17,278
你们好! 宝贝儿 你准备好要走了吗?
Hello! Hey, baby, you ready?
1068
00:53:18,571 --> 00:53:20,280
- 麻痹的出什么事了? - 爸!
- What the hell's going on here? - Dad!
1069
00:53:20,281 --> 00:53:21,324
天啊! 宝贝儿!
Oh, my God! Honey!
1070
00:53:21,574 --> 00:53:22,431
你家得多变态
What the hell kind of sick family
1071
00:53:22,432 --> 00:53:24,576
才会把这么大一个西红柿砸到
squashes a large tomato...
1072
00:53:24,577 --> 00:53:26,121
我女儿裤子上?
on my daughter's pants?
1073
00:53:26,413 --> 00:53:28,664
哇 看看你是怎么暗讽我们家的
Whoa. Watch what you're implying about my family.
1074
00:53:28,665 --> 00:53:30,792
有什么好看的 杰克!
Oh, I don't gotta watch anything, Jack!
1075
00:53:31,334 --> 00:53:33,586
- 是吗? - 是的!
- Yeah? - Yeah!
1076
00:53:33,670 --> 00:53:34,199
你推我?
You touching me?
1077
00:53:34,200 --> 00:53:34,753
是的 是的 傻逼 我推你了!
Yeah, yeah, bitch, yeah!
1078
00:53:34,754 --> 00:53:36,213
- 你还推我? - 你不准推我!
- You touching me? - You're not to touch me!
1079
00:53:36,214 --> 00:53:38,091
- 我们出去练 傻逼! - 我们走!
- Let's go, bitch! - Let's go!
1080
00:53:39,342 --> 00:53:41,594
打他! 照喉咙打!
Sucker punch him! Sucker punch him in the throat!
1081
00:53:43,680 --> 00:53:45,598
都给我闭嘴!
Everybody shut up!
1082
00:53:47,267 --> 00:53:50,352
只是个普通的七年级女孩来大姨妈而已
Look, I'm just a regular seventh-grade girl getting my period,
1083
00:53:50,353 --> 00:53:53,273
被你们这群白痴撞到 真是太差劲了
and it really sucks that it had to be in front of all you idiots.
1084
00:53:55,608 --> 00:53:58,611
爸 给我妈打电话 让她回家等我们
Dad, call Mom and tell her to meet us at home.
1085
00:54:03,616 --> 00:54:05,535
她来大姨妈了?
She's got her period?
1086
00:54:06,661 --> 00:54:08,121
真恶心
So disgusting.
1087
00:54:08,705 --> 00:54:11,291
你没有那种防水布能借我用用 是吧?
You don't have a camping tarp I could borrow, do you?
1088
00:54:12,292 --> 00:54:13,626
发生这些事我很抱歉
Sorry about all that.
1089
00:54:14,711 --> 00:54:16,463
嗨 宝贝儿 不要坐在车里!
Hey, honey, don't sit in the car!
1090
00:54:17,630 --> 00:54:20,216
阴道真是太复杂了!
Vagina is way too complicated!
1091
00:54:20,633 --> 00:54:22,135
是啊 绝不是盖的
Yeah, no shit.
1092
00:54:24,387 --> 00:54:25,722
真的?
Really?
1093
00:54:29,559 --> 00:54:30,727
爸 太威武了
Dad, that was epic!
1094
00:54:32,353 --> 00:54:35,565
我从早上开会的时候起就一直攒着这个屁呢
I've been trying to push that puppy out since this morning's conference call.
1095
00:54:35,607 --> 00:54:38,400
哇! 我要去拉屎 然后我们看比赛
Woo! I gotta take a massive dump, and then we're watching the game.
1096
00:54:38,401 --> 00:54:39,736
- 嗯 - 好的!
- Yeah. - Yes!
1097
00:54:47,702 --> 00:54:49,078
真棒!
Oh, nice!
1098
00:55:13,982 --> 00:55:17,382
丹碧丝月经棉塞 全方位防漏
1099
00:55:17,982 --> 00:55:19,382
快点 过来 过来
Come on, come on, come on, come on.
1100
00:55:19,442 --> 00:55:20,652
看我们找到谁了
Look who we found.
1101
00:55:22,695 --> 00:55:23,696
J.J.?
J.J.?
1102
00:55:24,656 --> 00:55:26,990
- 史蒂夫·施瑞德? - 我就说吧
- Stevie Schraeder? - I freaking told you.
1103
00:55:26,991 --> 00:55:28,700
靠.. 妈的! 怎么找到他的?
Wh... What the fuck! How'd he get there?
1104
00:55:28,701 --> 00:55:31,453
史蒂夫 跟他们说电影四十三的事!
Stevie, tell them about Movie 43!
1105
00:55:31,454 --> 00:55:34,998
什么电影四十三? 他们一直在问我这个
What's Movie 43? They keep asking me that.
1106
00:55:34,999 --> 00:55:36,900
把史蒂夫·施瑞德的手指切下来
Cut off Stevie Schraeder's finger.
1107
00:55:36,901 --> 00:55:37,460
什么!
What!
1108
00:55:37,544 --> 00:55:39,711
不 不要切史蒂夫·施瑞德的手指!
No, don't cut off Stevie Schraeder's finger!
1109
00:55:39,712 --> 00:55:42,464
不要切我的手指! 求你了!
Don't cut off Stevie Schraeder's finger! Please!
1110
00:55:42,465 --> 00:55:44,258
电影四十三不是真的
Movie 43 isn't real.
1111
00:55:44,259 --> 00:55:46,468
只是我和卡尔文编出来耍你的!
It's just something Calvin and I made up to prank you!
1112
00:55:46,469 --> 00:55:48,136
显然它一定是存在的
Well, apparently it is real,
1113
00:55:48,137 --> 00:55:49,160
我们要找到它
and we need to find it
1114
00:55:49,161 --> 00:55:50,640
不然你那傻逼朋友就死定了!
or else your stupid friend dies!
1115
00:55:50,974 --> 00:55:53,685
- 除非... - 除非什么? 什么?
- Unless... - Unless what? Unless what?
1116
00:55:54,227 --> 00:55:56,728
我可以做一个91-F-西塔箱
I can fashion a ninety-one-F-Theta Box.
1117
00:55:56,729 --> 00:55:59,022
不要 不要用西塔箱 拜托! 不要那样做!
No. Not the Theta Box. Please! Do not do that!
1118
00:55:59,023 --> 00:56:01,733
快去! 弄个西塔箱 管它是什么呢
Go! Make a Theta Box, dude. Whatever that is.
1119
00:56:01,734 --> 00:56:03,403
好吧 不用等我
Okay. Don't wait for me.
1120
00:56:04,238 --> 00:56:05,099
检索"电影四十三"+"是否存在"
1121
00:56:05,238 --> 00:56:07,699
电影四十三在哪 在哪?
Movie 43. Wh... Where is it? Where is it?
1122
00:56:13,037 --> 00:56:14,747
混蛋 滚开
Go fuck yourself, asshole!
1123
00:56:15,748 --> 00:56:17,250
别这样
Don't do this.
1124
00:56:17,333 --> 00:56:20,295
布莱恩 我们是最好的朋友啊 别搬走
Brian, we're best friends, man. You can't move out.
1125
00:56:20,503 --> 00:56:21,753
你干了我的女友 老兄
You fucked my girlfriend, dude.
1126
00:56:21,754 --> 00:56:23,339
才一次
One time.
1127
00:56:23,756 --> 00:56:25,215
连续干了一周
For a week.
1128
00:56:25,216 --> 00:56:27,176
- 什么? - 但我想补偿你的
- What? - But I want to make it up to you.
1129
00:56:27,719 --> 00:56:29,429
我能干你女友吗?
Can I fuck your girlfriend?
1130
00:56:30,054 --> 00:56:32,014
可以 但是她发现我睡了你女友之后
Yes, but she broke up with me...
1131
00:56:32,015 --> 00:56:33,765
就和我分手了
when she found out I slept with your girlfriend...
1132
00:56:33,766 --> 00:56:35,393
所以这事我办不了
so I can't arrange it.
1133
00:56:35,685 --> 00:56:39,314
但布莱恩 我有惊喜给你
But Brian, I got you something.
1134
00:56:40,023 --> 00:56:43,484
最好的生日礼物 你一定会喜欢的
Best birthday present ever. You are going to love this.
1135
00:56:44,527 --> 00:56:47,196
- 有必要吗? - 相信我
- Is this really necessary? - Trust me.
1136
00:56:49,115 --> 00:56:51,618
最好是...
It's better if it's a...
1137
00:56:51,784 --> 00:56:55,288
一 二 三 想不到吧
One, two, three, surprise!
1138
00:56:59,584 --> 00:57:02,045
吃惊吧 老兄 生日快乐
I know, right, buddy? Happy birthday.
1139
00:57:02,128 --> 00:57:03,712
你绑架了一个爱尔兰小矮子
You kidnapped an Irish midget.
1140
00:57:03,713 --> 00:57:06,131
{\an8}小矮妖:爱尔兰精灵 喜欢搞恶作剧
1141
00:57:03,713 --> 00:57:06,131
不 这是小矮妖
No, I caught you a leprechaun.
1142
00:57:06,132 --> 00:57:08,051
笨蛋 根本就没有小矮妖
Moron. There's no such thing as leprechauns.
1143
00:57:08,718 --> 00:57:10,219
老兄 看着
Dude, watch this.
1144
00:57:11,471 --> 00:57:12,512
嘿 小兄弟
Hey, little buddy.
1145
00:57:12,513 --> 00:57:16,142
跟我朋友说 你会给我们一大罐黄金
Tell my friend you're going to give us a big pot of gold.
1146
00:57:16,768 --> 00:57:19,561
我要切掉你蛋蛋然后喂你们吃掉
I'm going to cut off your balls and feed them to you!
1147
00:57:19,562 --> 00:57:20,813
天啊
Good Lord.
1148
00:57:21,773 --> 00:57:24,356
他在开玩笑 他会给我们黄金的
He's just joking. He's got to give us the gold.
1149
00:57:24,357 --> 00:57:25,734
这是行规 是吧?
That's the rules. Right?
1150
00:57:25,735 --> 00:57:29,364
你等着看我操死你!
The last thing you'll ever see is my cock, skull-fucking you!
1151
00:57:32,659 --> 00:57:34,285
我再问他一次
Let me ask him again.
1152
00:57:37,038 --> 00:57:39,040
你他妈的把黄金交出来
Give us the fucking gold!
1153
00:57:40,041 --> 00:57:41,249
我拿一把破剪刀操翻你时
Do you want the lights on or off...
1154
00:57:41,250 --> 00:57:43,586
你喜望开着灯还是关灯呢?
when I fuck you with a pair of rusty scissors?
1155
00:57:45,129 --> 00:57:47,589
住手 住手 冷静 冷静
Stop, stop! Chill! Chill!
1156
00:57:47,590 --> 00:57:50,592
你在干什么? 你这样会弄死他的
What are you doing? You're going to kill him!
1157
00:57:50,593 --> 00:57:54,138
当心 放松 我来处理 好吗? 我来处理
Watch out! Relax! I'll handle this, okay? I'll handle this.
1158
00:57:57,266 --> 00:57:59,644
嘿 小矮妖先生
Hey, Mr. Leprechaun.
1159
00:58:02,105 --> 00:58:04,106
我为此感到非常抱歉
I am super sorry about this.
1160
00:58:04,107 --> 00:58:05,607
这是个误会
It's just a misunderstanding,
1161
00:58:05,608 --> 00:58:09,779
我马上就给你松绑 把你放了
so what I'm going to do... is untie you and let you go.
1162
00:58:10,613 --> 00:58:12,031
这样如何?
How does that sound?
1163
00:58:13,116 --> 00:58:15,076
好的 但首先
Okay... but first...
1164
00:58:16,327 --> 00:58:20,039
先给我口爆一下 你这狗娘养的杂种
Lick my crusty Irish taint, you yeast-breeding cunt hole!
1165
00:58:20,790 --> 00:58:23,710
去死 去死 你这小混球
Die! Die, you little magical fuck!
1166
00:58:24,127 --> 00:58:26,795
哇 停 停 好好想想
Whoa, stop! Stop! Think!
1167
00:58:26,796 --> 00:58:29,381
他死了 就无法告诉我们黄金藏在哪
If he's dead, he can't tell us where the gold is!
1168
00:58:29,382 --> 00:58:33,636
该死的巨人 不要脸的混蛋
Fucking giants. Motherfucking full-growns!
1169
00:58:34,137 --> 00:58:37,305
一结束 我马上干破你妈的私穴
When all this is over, I'm going to crawl up your mother's cunt...
1170
00:58:37,306 --> 00:58:39,099
再在上面插棍点篝火
and start a fucking campfire!
1171
00:58:39,100 --> 00:58:43,061
闭嘴 你什么也做不了
Hey! No! Shut up! You can't do anything...
1172
00:58:43,062 --> 00:58:45,146
你这么个矬样 被绑在椅子上
because you're tiny and tied to a chair,
1173
00:58:45,147 --> 00:58:46,189
没人知道你在哪
and nobody knows where you are.
1174
00:58:46,190 --> 00:58:47,316
没人知道
No one!
1175
00:58:48,735 --> 00:58:50,528
此言差矣
I wouldn't bet on that.
1176
00:58:50,987 --> 00:58:52,238
谁打过来?
Who's calling?
1177
00:58:54,115 --> 00:58:55,157
喂
Hello?
1178
00:58:55,158 --> 00:58:57,576
快死之人就是这么说话的
So this is what a dead man sounds like.
1179
00:58:57,577 --> 00:58:59,536
- 又一个小矮妖 - 操
- It's another leprechaun. - Fuck!
1180
00:58:59,537 --> 00:59:00,996
是我哥哥打来的话
If that's my brother...
1181
00:59:00,997 --> 00:59:04,458
做好老二被绑到消防栓上的准备吧
prepare to have your dickhole stretched over a fucking fire hydrant!
1182
00:59:04,459 --> 00:59:07,002
- 你怎么那么嘴贱? - 封住他嘴
- What's wrong with your fucking mouth? - Gag him.
1183
00:59:07,003 --> 00:59:08,087
你的蛋蛋
Your balls...
1184
00:59:09,172 --> 00:59:10,380
听着 你这个臭婊子
Listen, Cookie O' Puss...
1185
00:59:10,381 --> 00:59:14,092
小矮妖在我这 把金子交出来 不然我杀了他
I got a leprechaun and I want some gold or we're going to kill him.
1186
00:59:14,093 --> 00:59:16,971
我把你的蛋蛋切了怎么样?
How do you feel about having your balls cut off?
1187
00:59:17,263 --> 00:59:19,390
靠 他们那么喜欢蛋蛋
Jeez, they're so into balls.
1188
00:59:19,682 --> 00:59:22,184
我是认真的 最好把金子交出来
I'm serious. You better make with the gold...
1189
00:59:22,185 --> 00:59:25,103
不然你的小矮妖就要被大卸八块
or your little green man will be pushing up four-leaf clovers!
1190
00:59:25,104 --> 00:59:26,981
你的语气够强硬 很好
That was so good. You sounded so tough.
1191
00:59:27,398 --> 00:59:28,691
好吧
Okay.
1192
00:59:30,443 --> 00:59:31,986
他说什么?
What did he say?
1193
00:59:32,695 --> 00:59:34,197
他说好吧
He said "Okay."
1194
00:59:35,740 --> 00:59:38,201
不可能 他怎么来得这么快?
No way. How did he get here so fast?
1195
00:59:57,136 --> 00:59:58,221
太好了
Sweet!
1196
01:00:03,226 --> 01:00:06,479
- 金币 - 金的
- Gold coins! - Gold!
1197
01:00:09,524 --> 01:00:12,068
- 老兄 生日快乐 - 太好了
- Happy birthday, dude! - Holy crap!
1198
01:00:12,193 --> 01:00:14,195
我们得到金币了 还留着这个小贱货?
So, we get the gold and we keep this little fucker?
1199
01:00:14,320 --> 01:00:17,281
你听见没? 看来你的护身符失效了啊
Did you hear that? Looks like your lucky charms just ran out.
1200
01:00:17,990 --> 01:00:20,451
现在是谁的魔法管用啊 臭婊子?
Who's magically delicious now, bitch?
1201
01:00:21,160 --> 01:00:22,702
什么? 你说什么?
What? Did you say something?
1202
01:00:22,703 --> 01:00:26,249
有个这么大个金盆 听不见你讲什么
I couldn't hear you over my giant pot of leprechaun gold!
1203
01:00:27,208 --> 01:00:28,543
今早的高潮来了 婊子们
Top o' the morning, ladies!
1204
01:00:31,337 --> 01:00:32,975
他打中了我的眼睛
He shot me in the eye!
1205
01:00:32,976 --> 01:00:34,465
他打中了我的乳头
He shot me in my nipples!
1206
01:00:36,050 --> 01:00:38,177
我一只眼瞎了
I'm half goddamn blind!
1207
01:00:39,470 --> 01:00:41,264
让你知道凯尔特人的厉害
Taste Celtic steel!
1208
01:00:43,182 --> 01:00:45,267
老兄 就是这样 干死他
That's right, brother! Fuck him up good!
1209
01:00:45,268 --> 01:00:48,186
这就是拿走小矮妖的黄金的下场
This is what happens when you take a leprechaun's gold!
1210
01:00:48,187 --> 01:00:51,106
用你的小妖刀捅他 切掉他蛋蛋
Stab him with your leprechaun knife! Cut off his balls!
1211
01:00:51,107 --> 01:00:52,524
快上啊!
Go leprechauns!
1212
01:00:52,525 --> 01:00:55,110
- 见天国去吧 - 什么?
- Walk to the rainbow. - What?
1213
01:00:55,111 --> 01:00:58,280
- 切掉他蛋蛋 - 救命 皮特 救命!
- Cut off his balls! - Help! Pete! Help!
1214
01:00:58,281 --> 01:01:01,241
我要把你蛋蛋剁碎!
I'm going to mangle your balls!
1215
01:01:01,242 --> 01:01:03,661
开枪打死这个死小矮妖
Shoot him! Shoot the fucking leprechaun!
1216
01:01:04,704 --> 01:01:07,289
你个笨蛋 不是那个小矮妖 是这个!
You moron! Not that leprechaun! This leprechaun!
1217
01:01:07,290 --> 01:01:10,126
{\an8}圣帕特里克:爱尔兰守护神
1218
01:01:07,290 --> 01:01:10,126
跟圣帕特里克说这样爽死了
Tell St. Patty you like it up the ass!
1219
01:01:17,216 --> 01:01:18,301
现在怎么办?
What now?
1220
01:01:21,304 --> 01:01:22,721
这些小矮妖也太小了嘛
Not much to these guys.
1221
01:01:22,722 --> 01:01:24,724
是啊 比我想象中的还小
Yeah. I thought they'd be bigger.
1222
01:01:25,308 --> 01:01:27,768
嘿 皮特 我要对你说声谢谢
Hey, Pete, I just want to say thank you.
1223
01:01:28,144 --> 01:01:31,272
- 是啊 黄金很多 - 不仅仅是因为黄金
- Yeah, it is a lot of gold. - Nah, it's more than gold.
1224
01:01:31,314 --> 01:01:33,398
抓住小矮妖肯定也费了不少工夫
Catching that leprechaun must have been hard work.
1225
01:01:33,399 --> 01:01:36,319
只有真正的朋友才会为我这么做
Something that only a true friend would do for me.
1226
01:01:36,485 --> 01:01:39,572
我要是没有睡过你女友就好了
Yeah, well, I should have never slept with your girlfriend.
1227
01:01:39,739 --> 01:01:42,325
没关系 再买个新女友就好了
Whatever. We can buy new girlfriends.
1228
01:01:43,159 --> 01:01:46,286
老兄 我都把你的第二份生日礼物给忘了
Dude, I totally forgot the second part of your gift!
1229
01:01:46,287 --> 01:01:47,288
不是吧?
Really?
1230
01:01:53,794 --> 01:01:57,173
- 她是谁? - 仙女 童话书中的仙女
- Who is she? - She's a fairy. Storybook fairy.
1231
01:01:58,549 --> 01:02:01,052
要个仙女有什么用?
What the hell am I supposed to do with a fairy?
1232
01:02:01,177 --> 01:02:03,512
你给我金币 我帮你吹箫
I suck cock for gold coins.
1233
01:02:07,600 --> 01:02:09,185
J.J. 腾个地方出来!
J.J., make some space!
1234
01:02:11,604 --> 01:02:12,817
我能做点什么?
What can I do?
1235
01:02:12,818 --> 01:02:14,273
找点金属来 现在就要
I need metal. Right now! Go!
1236
01:02:15,358 --> 01:02:17,360
用你的拆装玩具
Use your Tinker Toys.
1237
01:02:17,735 --> 01:02:19,212
奖杯 勺子
Trophies! Spoons!
1238
01:02:19,213 --> 01:02:21,614
别再冲我喊了 马上就好
Stop yelling at me! I'll do it!
1239
01:02:25,284 --> 01:02:28,411
- 好 - 开始 启动序列
- Right. - I'm go. Initiate sequence.
1240
01:02:28,412 --> 01:02:29,663
这样有效吗?
Is this going to work?
1241
01:02:29,664 --> 01:02:30,706
但愿行
It better!
1242
01:02:32,541 --> 01:02:33,709
好了
Here we go!
1243
01:02:35,378 --> 01:02:36,712
怎么搞呢?
How do you do this?
1244
01:02:38,673 --> 01:02:40,341
快好了
We're getting close!
1245
01:02:40,591 --> 01:02:41,676
看到没?
Yeah?
1246
01:02:44,136 --> 01:02:45,721
是啊 快成功了
Yes, we're getting very close!
1247
01:02:47,974 --> 01:02:49,767
一杯玛格丽塔 谢谢
Uno marguerita, por favor?
1248
01:02:50,101 --> 01:02:51,185
加盐吗?
You want salt?
1249
01:02:51,352 --> 01:02:52,561
嗯 很好
Sí, bueno.
1250
01:02:53,354 --> 01:02:56,398
- 你呢? - 朗姆鸡尾酒 谢谢
- And for you? - Whynatte and rum, please.
1251
01:02:56,399 --> 01:02:57,566
好的
Got it.
1252
01:02:58,192 --> 01:03:00,353
问你个问题好吗? 私人问题
Do you mind me asking a question? It may seem personal.
1253
01:03:00,569 --> 01:03:01,661
我很吃惊
I'm quite surprised
1254
01:03:01,662 --> 01:03:05,156
您有这么一张漂亮的脸蛋还要求助于
that a lady with your face needs to resort to...
1255
01:03:05,157 --> 01:03:06,409
- 婚恋网? - 是啊
- Match dot com? - Right.
1256
01:03:06,575 --> 01:03:11,371
说真的 我身边的备选者全部都很无趣
Truth is, I have completely exhausted all of my options.
1257
01:03:11,372 --> 01:03:12,414
- 是吗? - 是啊
- Really? - Yeah.
1258
01:03:12,415 --> 01:03:14,749
真可惜 你的生活圈子真的那样?
Oh, dear. That's a shame. And are you from the area?
1259
01:03:14,750 --> 01:03:16,418
不 我们别这样 好吗?
No. Let's not do that, okay?
1260
01:03:16,419 --> 01:03:18,420
这些年我相亲无数
I've been on so many blind dates in the past year,
1261
01:03:18,421 --> 01:03:19,714
他们总是问同样的问题
and they're all the same.
1262
01:03:20,214 --> 01:03:22,173
"你住哪? 你姐妹是做什么的?"
"Where are you from? What does your sister do?
1263
01:03:22,174 --> 01:03:23,258
你的父亲..." 一堆废话
What does your father..." Blah, blah, blah.
1264
01:03:23,259 --> 01:03:25,260
就算我父亲是清洁工 你真的在乎吗?
Do you really care if my father is a garbage man?
1265
01:03:25,261 --> 01:03:26,392
你的父亲是清洁工吗?
Is your father a garbage man?
1266
01:03:26,393 --> 01:03:27,262
不是 这不是重点
No, he's not! That's the point.
1267
01:03:27,263 --> 01:03:28,680
- 管他呢? - 无关紧要
- Who cares? - Not important.
1268
01:03:28,681 --> 01:03:32,392
所以别再那样问了 这次约会我们玩点新花样
So let's not do that. Let's have this date be different.
1269
01:03:32,393 --> 01:03:35,395
- 说点切实际的 好吗? - 好
- Let's talk about real things, okay? - Great.
1270
01:03:35,396 --> 01:03:38,190
- 直接了当地说话 - 我一向如此
- Real, straight conversations. - I'm all about that.
1271
01:03:39,400 --> 01:03:41,110
你父亲到底是做什么的?
So what does your father do for a living?
1272
01:03:43,446 --> 01:03:46,240
好吧 来玩个游戏
Okay. Let's play a game.
1273
01:03:46,449 --> 01:03:48,158
- 好 - 你玩过真心话大冒险吗?
- Okay. - Have you played Truth or Dare?
1274
01:03:48,159 --> 01:03:49,617
没玩过 但我听说过
I haven't played it, but I'm aware of it.
1275
01:03:49,618 --> 01:03:53,205
那你先吧 你先问我 "真心话还是挑战"
Well, you start first. You ask me, "Truth or Dare."
1276
01:03:53,456 --> 01:03:55,249
- 真心话还是挑战? - 真心话
- Truth or Dare? - Truth.
1277
01:03:55,458 --> 01:04:00,295
在这个神奇的宇宙
Is there any possibility in this noble cosmos...
1278
01:04:00,296 --> 01:04:04,508
或其他的平行宇宙里
or any alternative parallel cosmos where you might...
1279
01:04:05,301 --> 01:04:08,054
有没有可能 我是你的菜?
Is there any chance I'm your type?
1280
01:04:10,473 --> 01:04:12,433
当然有 你长得高
Yeah. Yeah. You're tall.
1281
01:04:12,975 --> 01:04:14,727
- 高个子好? - 我喜欢高个子
- And that's good? - I like tall.
1282
01:04:15,436 --> 01:04:16,478
好吧 真心话还是挑战?
Okay, Truth or Dare?
1283
01:04:16,479 --> 01:04:17,521
真心话
Truth?
1284
01:04:18,230 --> 01:04:22,276
就知道你会这么说 我说的会有点过哦
I knew you'd say that. I am going to push the limits just a little bit.
1285
01:04:23,069 --> 01:04:26,238
- 你切过包皮吗? - 我切包皮了吗?
- Are you circumcised? - Am I circumcised?
1286
01:04:26,280 --> 01:04:28,032
这是隐私
That's personal.
1287
01:04:29,158 --> 01:04:32,410
在我住的地方 没有切包皮的习惯
Circumcision has never really taken off, to be honest, where I'm from.
1288
01:04:32,411 --> 01:04:35,706
这个不是 不是很流行
It's not... it's not the vogue.
1289
01:04:36,290 --> 01:04:38,501
我觉得只有犹太人会这么做
I tend to associate it with Jewish people...
1290
01:04:39,001 --> 01:04:41,294
在欧洲又没有多少犹太人
and we don't have many Jewish people in Europe anymore...
1291
01:04:41,295 --> 01:04:44,005
因为他们摊上点... 小麻烦
because of the... trouble.
1292
01:04:44,006 --> 01:04:46,050
所以 我没有切
So, no, I'm not.
1293
01:04:46,509 --> 01:04:49,345
但如果你想让我切 我可以切的
But if you would need me to get circumcised, I'm sure I could.
1294
01:04:50,513 --> 01:04:52,723
- 真心话还是挑战? - 真心话
- Truth or Dare? - Truth.
1295
01:04:53,057 --> 01:04:55,350
你最后一次亲男人是什么时候?
When was the last time you kissed a man?
1296
01:04:55,351 --> 01:04:58,256
二十六天前 在普拉提工作室后的小巷里
Twenty-six days ago in an alley behind a Pilates studio.
1297
01:04:58,257 --> 01:04:59,480
真心话还是挑战?
Truth or Dare?
1298
01:05:00,272 --> 01:05:01,690
挑战 我试试挑战
Dare. I'm going to go with a Dare.
1299
01:05:02,274 --> 01:05:05,736
好的 终于来点给力的了
Here we go. Now we're cooking. Okay.
1300
01:05:06,112 --> 01:05:09,782
我向你挑战 你要去那边
I dare you to go over there.
1301
01:05:10,491 --> 01:05:13,535
看到穿黑夹克的那个猛男了吗?
See that man with the black jacket? The husky guy?
1302
01:05:13,536 --> 01:05:16,329
我向你挑战 去捏他屁股
I dare you to go and pinch his ass.
1303
01:05:16,330 --> 01:05:18,498
- 要做什么? - 去捏他屁股
- Do what now? - Just cup it.
1304
01:05:18,499 --> 01:05:20,042
抓住他屁股 捏捏
Grab his cheeks and cup it.
1305
01:05:21,043 --> 01:05:22,335
- 不了吧 - 去吧
- No. - Yeah.
1306
01:05:22,336 --> 01:05:24,796
是你说挑战的 不是我 挑战就是要这样
You said Dare, not me. That's what Dare is.
1307
01:05:24,797 --> 01:05:26,714
- 你看看他 他那么... - 我见了
- Have a look at him. He's quite... - I see him.
1308
01:05:26,715 --> 01:05:28,508
去他身后 捏他屁股
Go back there and cup his ass.
1309
01:05:28,509 --> 01:05:29,509
他那么强壮
He's quite a stocky man.
1310
01:05:29,510 --> 01:05:31,594
- 他可能带着把刀 - 看来我白来了
- He might have a knife. - I don't even have to be here.
1311
01:05:31,595 --> 01:05:32,484
你不想玩的话
I can go home and watch Family Guy
1312
01:05:32,485 --> 01:05:34,264
我还是回家看<居家男人>好了
if you don't want to play.
1313
01:05:34,265 --> 01:05:35,306
我要买单了 打扰一下!
I'll get the check. Excuse me!
1314
01:05:35,307 --> 01:05:36,766
- 买单 - 她暂时先不买单
- Can I have the check? - She doesn't need the check.
1315
01:05:36,767 --> 01:05:38,060
开玩笑而已
She's joking.
1316
01:05:38,310 --> 01:05:40,312
- 那去捏他屁股 - 好吧 马上去
- Then go cup his ass. - Okay, I will.
1317
01:05:49,488 --> 01:05:54,118
我打电话给他 他从来不接 真受够了
I call him, and he never answers the phone. I'm sick of it.
1318
01:05:54,326 --> 01:05:56,537
- 直接去看他 - 你打个电话给他
- Go pay him a visit. - You call him.
1319
01:05:59,081 --> 01:06:02,543
我烦透了 真是...
I'm sick and tired of it. It's...
1320
01:06:03,419 --> 01:06:05,545
- 搞毛啊? - 是我 对不起
- What the fuck? - I did. Sorry.
1321
01:06:05,546 --> 01:06:08,549
你他妈的摸我屁股干嘛 你脑子进水啊
You touching my fucking ass! What's the matter with you!
1322
01:06:08,591 --> 01:06:11,593
- 你什么意思? 靠 - 对不起 对不起
- What do you mean, you? Fuck you! - Sorry. Sorry.
1323
01:06:11,594 --> 01:06:14,762
- 你摸错屁股了 混蛋 - 没事
- You touch the wrong ass, asshole! - It's all good.
1324
01:06:14,763 --> 01:06:15,585
你脑子进水了是吧
What's the matter with you?
1325
01:06:15,586 --> 01:06:16,557
对不起 很抱歉 对不起
Sorry. Apologies. Sorry.
1326
01:06:16,765 --> 01:06:18,266
真不错
That was great!
1327
01:06:18,267 --> 01:06:20,393
真心话还是挑战 真心话还是挑战?
Truth or Dare? Truth or Dare?
1328
01:06:20,394 --> 01:06:21,519
等等 我还没笑够...
Wait a minute. Can I enjoy the...
1329
01:06:21,520 --> 01:06:23,647
真心话还是挑战? 快点
Truth or Dare? Come on.
1330
01:06:23,772 --> 01:06:25,273
好吧 挑战
Okay. Dare.
1331
01:06:25,274 --> 01:06:27,066
好 你去捏他的屁股
Right. You go and cup his ass.
1332
01:06:27,067 --> 01:06:30,278
不 你不能挑战我同样的事
No. You can't dare me to do the same thing I just dared you to do.
1333
01:06:30,279 --> 01:06:32,280
- 真心话还是挑战 - 自己想个点子
- Truth or Dare. - Come up with your own dare.
1334
01:06:32,281 --> 01:06:33,324
要有原创性
Be original.
1335
01:06:34,617 --> 01:06:37,092
看见那边的失明儿童了吗?
See that blind kid over there?
1336
01:06:37,093 --> 01:06:38,996
抢在他前面把蜡烛吹灭
Blow out his candles before he can.
1337
01:06:40,414 --> 01:06:43,124
我做不来 这太残忍了
I can't do that! That's cruel!
1338
01:06:43,125 --> 01:06:44,417
真心话大冒险 规则就是这样
It's Truth or Dare. That's the rule.
1339
01:06:44,418 --> 01:06:47,086
那我走了 我回家去了
I could take off if you want. I could go home.
1340
01:06:47,087 --> 01:06:49,631
我还是回家看本尼·希尔的影碟好了
I'll probably get home in time to put Benny Hill DVDs on.
1341
01:06:49,632 --> 01:06:52,134
- 真的要这样吗? - 看你的表现
- You're doing that? - It's up to you.
1342
01:06:52,426 --> 01:06:54,677
好吧 我马上就过去 吹灭蜡烛
I'll go over there and blow out the candles,
1343
01:06:54,678 --> 01:06:56,222
但是你要明白
but you need to know something.
1344
01:06:56,472 --> 01:06:57,598
战争开始了
This is war.
1345
01:06:59,016 --> 01:07:02,394
若是我的生日 我也可以开个派对
I wish it was my birthday So I could party, too
1346
01:07:02,603 --> 01:07:06,398
生日快乐 祝你心想事成
Happy, happy birthday May all your dreams come true
1347
01:07:07,483 --> 01:07:10,026
我们所有人 都祝你生日快乐
Happy, happy birthday From all of us to you
1348
01:07:10,027 --> 01:07:11,153
嘿
Hey!
1349
01:07:20,663 --> 01:07:21,950
打扰一下 我出二百刀
Excuse me. I got $200.
1350
01:07:21,951 --> 01:07:23,040
把你这身衣服卖我好吗?
Can you give me the whole thing?
1351
01:07:43,644 --> 01:07:46,647
我向你挑战 把鳄梨酱涂满你右咪咪
I dare you to make guacamole with your right breast.
1352
01:08:19,054 --> 01:08:21,068
{\an8}节选自赫尔曼·麦尔维尔<白鲸记>
1353
01:08:19,054 --> 01:08:21,682
"阐明一些以后将会详细描述的
"...elucidate several most important, however...
1354
01:08:22,057 --> 01:08:25,476
复杂但最为重要的航程及沿途景致"
intricate passages and scenes hereafter to be painted."
1355
01:08:25,477 --> 01:08:28,439
第六十四章 塔布的晚餐
Chapter 64: Stubb's Supper.
1356
01:08:28,480 --> 01:08:31,525
"塔布的鲸鱼在远离船只的地方被杀害"
"Stubb's whale had been killed some distance from the ship."
1357
01:08:38,699 --> 01:08:41,493
消肿的时候 就会好看很多 艾米莉
When the swelling goes down, you're going to look great, Emily.
1358
01:08:42,369 --> 01:08:43,704
谢谢
Thanks, sweetie.
1359
01:09:00,721 --> 01:09:04,349
- 很好玩 是不? - 是啊 我非常开心
- That was fun, huh? - Yes. I had a really great time.
1360
01:09:04,350 --> 01:09:05,476
是吗? 我也是
Yeah? Me, too.
1361
01:09:05,726 --> 01:09:08,728
- 十分有趣 - 我们玩了很多花样
- It was definitely interesting. - Yeah. We did a lot.
1362
01:09:08,729 --> 01:09:11,732
是啊 是啊 的确是
Yes. Yeah. We did. We did.
1363
01:09:12,107 --> 01:09:13,566
- 好玩死了 - 是啊
- We did it up. - Yes.
1364
01:09:13,567 --> 01:09:16,528
真好玩 你真是...
It was enchanting. You're really a...
1365
01:09:17,738 --> 01:09:19,365
很可爱
very delightful woman.
1366
01:09:19,531 --> 01:09:21,075
- 谢谢 - 嗯
- Well, thank you. - Yeah.
1367
01:09:23,702 --> 01:09:27,289
现在有点尴尬呐
This is that slightly awkward moment.
1368
01:09:27,706 --> 01:09:28,749
呃...
Well...
1369
01:09:29,583 --> 01:09:31,502
抱歉
No. I'm sorry.
1370
01:09:32,086 --> 01:09:35,505
你很好 我玩得真是很开心
You're sweet, really, and I really did have a good time...
1371
01:09:35,506 --> 01:09:39,551
但是我对亚洲人实在没有兴趣
but I'm just not that attracted to Asian men.
1372
01:09:49,103 --> 01:09:51,563
笨蛋 快进来 姚明
Psych! Get in here, Yao Ming!
1373
01:09:51,772 --> 01:09:54,358
这两个大咪咪怎么能浪费
We don't want these puppies to go to waste.
1374
01:10:02,491 --> 01:10:03,617
老兄
Dude...
1375
01:10:04,243 --> 01:10:05,744
快好了
We're getting closer!
1376
01:10:07,329 --> 01:10:10,249
- 再来一次 - 我快疯了 老兄
- I need one more! - I'm freaking out, man!
1377
01:10:19,967 --> 01:10:22,970
水龟协议启动
Terrapin Protocol initiated.
1378
01:10:23,971 --> 01:10:25,346
我失败了
I have failed.
1379
01:10:25,347 --> 01:10:27,598
你找到电影四十三了
You have found Movie 43.
1380
01:10:27,599 --> 01:10:29,977
- 你都做了什么啊 - 电影四十三
- What the fuck did you do? - Movie 43.
1381
01:10:30,978 --> 01:10:32,521
我在俄罗斯的时候是个摄影师
I used to be great cameraman in Russia.
1382
01:10:32,604 --> 01:10:34,773
老兄 怎么停电了?
Dude, what's up with the power?
1383
01:10:35,274 --> 01:10:36,983
任务完成
Mission accomplished.
1384
01:10:36,984 --> 01:10:40,111
- 时间不多了 - 你这个混蛋
- We don't have much time. - You little shit!
1385
01:10:40,112 --> 01:10:41,655
我们找到电影四十三了 老兄
We found Movie 43, buddy.
1386
01:10:43,532 --> 01:10:45,617
很好 终于找到了
Good. We found it.
1387
01:10:47,661 --> 01:10:49,620
搞什么啊? 老兄 那个是你
The fuck? Dude, that's you!
1388
01:10:49,621 --> 01:10:51,581
我是巴克斯特 卡特勒
My name is Baxter Cutler.
1389
01:10:51,582 --> 01:10:54,667
自黑暗降临以来已经一百四十一天了
It has been 141 days since The Darkness.
1390
01:10:54,668 --> 01:10:57,304
J.J. 卡尔文还有巴克斯特
J.J., Calvin and Baxter,
1391
01:10:57,305 --> 01:10:59,590
这就是你们找的电影四十三!
this is Movie 43!
1392
01:11:00,007 --> 01:11:03,426
你们俩二逼要我找电影四十三的过程中
You see, when you idiots made me search for Movie 43...
1393
01:11:03,427 --> 01:11:05,783
我们不当心触发了水龟协议
we triggered the Terrapin Protocol,
1394
01:11:05,784 --> 01:11:07,597
这可是冷战时期的极密
the top-secret Cold War initiative...
1395
01:11:07,598 --> 01:11:10,057
用来控制全美人民的思想
to control the mind of every American citizen.
1396
01:11:10,058 --> 01:11:12,435
这样一来 在苏联进攻的时候
So that in the event of a Soviet attack...
1397
01:11:12,436 --> 01:11:14,746
所有的男人 女人还有孩子们
every man, woman and child
1398
01:11:14,747 --> 01:11:16,523
都能被转换为杀戮机器
would be converted into fighting machines.
1399
01:11:16,607 --> 01:11:19,108
问题在于现在苏联已经不存在了
Only there were no more Soviets to fight.
1400
01:11:19,109 --> 01:11:22,612
所以大家开始自相残杀 国家已成为一片废墟
So everyone turned on each other and now the country is in ruins.
1401
01:11:22,613 --> 01:11:25,073
中国? 没了! 俄罗斯? 没了!
China? Gone! Russia? Gone!
1402
01:11:25,282 --> 01:11:26,297
阿姆斯特丹?
Amsterdam?
1403
01:11:26,298 --> 01:11:28,619
仍旧不算一个他妈的国家! 没了!
Still not a goddamn country! Gone!
1404
01:11:29,411 --> 01:11:32,038
这就是我向过去传递这条消息的原因
That is why I'm sending this message back in time.
1405
01:11:32,039 --> 01:11:34,123
巴克斯特 听着 你得入侵...
Baxter, listen to me. You need to hack into...
1406
01:11:34,124 --> 01:11:35,666
老大 周围已肃清!
Boss, the perimeter's clear!
1407
01:11:35,667 --> 01:11:39,505
你妹的 J.J.! 我正尝试着改写历史!
Son of a bitch, J.J.! I'm trying to rewrite the fucking past!
1408
01:11:40,047 --> 01:11:43,300
是吗? 有几个感染者刚差点要了你的命!
Yeah? Some Infecteds were trying to rewrite your fucking existence!
1409
01:11:43,634 --> 01:11:44,635
逃了两个
Two got away.
1410
01:11:46,053 --> 01:11:47,470
逮到一个
One did not.
1411
01:11:47,471 --> 01:11:50,056
哥们 这太牛叉了! 这是在哪儿啊?
Oh, man, this is sick! Where am I?
1412
01:11:50,057 --> 01:11:51,683
喂过瘸瘸了没?
Has the cripple been fed?
1413
01:11:52,059 --> 01:11:56,062
对不起 妈妈! 对不起 妈妈!
I'm sorry, Mommy! I'm sorry, Mom!
1414
01:11:56,063 --> 01:11:57,648
{\an8}雨人: 电影<雨人> 主人公患有自闭症
1415
01:11:56,063 --> 01:11:57,648
为毛我是个智障?
Why am I Rain Man?
1416
01:11:57,689 --> 01:11:59,649
让西塔拉喂他吃饭
Make Sitara feed him.
1417
01:11:59,650 --> 01:12:02,401
你他妈的喂他去! 我要外出杀敌
You fucking feed him! I need to be out slaughtering.
1418
01:12:02,402 --> 01:12:04,487
不行! 你怀着我的种
No! You carry my seed.
1419
01:12:04,488 --> 01:12:07,281
你必须呆在安全的地方 让我时刻能保护你
You must stay here where it's safe, where I can protect you.
1420
01:12:07,282 --> 01:12:09,284
- 我很抱歉! - 过来 美人儿
- I'm sorry! - Come here, Mama.
1421
01:12:11,745 --> 01:12:13,372
- 妈妈 对不起 - 言归正传
- Sorry, Mommy. - Back to business.
1422
01:12:13,664 --> 01:12:17,083
安全漏洞! 安全漏洞! 开始撤离
Security breach! Security breach! Commence evasive maneuvers.
1423
01:12:17,084 --> 01:12:19,586
- 撤离! - 妈的 他们跳线跨接了!
- Defensive maneuvers! - Dammit, they jumped the wire!
1424
01:12:19,670 --> 01:12:23,674
万科维奇! 对着我 你个毛子傻叉!
Vrankovich! On me, you dumb Ruskie!
1425
01:12:24,091 --> 01:12:26,092
巴克斯特! 你能阻止这一切的发生!
Baxter! You can prevent this from happening!
1426
01:12:26,093 --> 01:12:28,302
用德国情报局的M-7斯巴达程序
Hack into the Department of Defense security mainframe...
1427
01:12:28,303 --> 01:12:32,099
入侵国防部的安全主机
using a Mark-7 Spartan from the Bundesnachrichtendienst...
1428
01:12:37,312 --> 01:12:39,063
- 不可能! - 我勒个去!
- No way! - Oh, shit!
1429
01:12:39,064 --> 01:12:42,526
- 这太牛叉了! - 不可能!
- That was awesome! - No way!
1430
01:12:42,609 --> 01:12:43,393
哥们! 牛叉啊!
Dude! No way!
1431
01:12:43,394 --> 01:12:44,527
我再也不开你的玩笑了 完毕
I'm never making fun of you again. Period.
1432
01:12:44,528 --> 01:12:46,320
我们本想着恶整你来着! 你反过来...
We were trying to prank you! You turned that around...
1433
01:12:46,321 --> 01:12:47,739
我发誓这不是恶整!
I swear it wasn't a prank!
1434
01:12:48,115 --> 01:12:50,533
我的天 你觉得我会相信...
Oh, my God. You're expecting me to believe...
1435
01:12:50,534 --> 01:12:52,702
六个月后这个世界会毁灭...
that somehow in the next six months the whole world ends...
1436
01:12:52,703 --> 01:12:54,598
而我成了个流着口水的瘸子?
and I'm a drooling cripple?
1437
01:12:54,599 --> 01:12:55,664
又不是我做的!
I didn't do it!
1438
01:12:56,123 --> 01:12:57,164
你到底...?
What are you...?
1439
01:12:57,165 --> 01:12:58,666
灯是怎么了? 真是诡异
What's with the lights? That was weird.
1440
01:12:58,667 --> 01:13:00,868
话说我要去超市了 有谁要带什么吗?
So, I'm going to the supermarket. Does anyone need anything?
1441
01:13:06,341 --> 01:13:07,342
不会吧
No.
1442
01:13:07,718 --> 01:13:09,344
怎么了?
What is it?
1443
01:13:15,726 --> 01:13:18,020
不会吧!
No!
1444
01:13:18,520 --> 01:13:20,542
抱歉 妈妈! 我很抱歉!
I'm sorry, Mommy! I'm sorry!
1445
01:13:20,543 --> 01:13:21,732
你在抱歉些什么?
What are you sorry about?
1446
01:13:24,693 --> 01:13:27,029
- 出什么事了? - 我擦!
- What's happening? - Shit!
1447
01:13:28,363 --> 01:13:29,615
神啊!
God!
1448
01:13:31,033 --> 01:13:34,076
我能搞定这个! M-7斯巴达!
I can fix this! Mark-7 Spartan!
1449
01:13:34,077 --> 01:13:37,038
那台电脑已经烧了 把我的手提从房间拿来!
That computer's fried. Go get my laptop out of my room!
1450
01:13:37,039 --> 01:13:39,291
好的 我去! 我去 别着急
All right, I got it! I got it. Don't worry.
1451
01:13:39,416 --> 01:13:42,628
- 别让他自残 - 他为什么会自残?
- Don't let him pull his own dick off. - Why would he pull his own dick off?
1452
01:13:43,211 --> 01:13:44,755
我他妈的拿到了! 我拿到了!
I fucking got it! I got it!
1453
01:13:49,051 --> 01:13:51,178
我的电脑怎么反应这么慢?
Why is my computer so slow?
1454
01:13:54,514 --> 01:13:56,767
我电脑里怎么会有毛片?
Why is there porn on my computer?
1455
01:13:57,142 --> 01:13:58,352
愚人节快乐
April Fools.
1456
01:13:58,393 --> 01:14:00,187
我擦!
Oh, shit!
1457
01:14:14,611 --> 01:14:18,537
两年三个月又四天后
1458
01:14:49,111 --> 01:14:50,237
真难以置信!
I can't believe it!
1459
01:15:13,124 --> 01:15:15,335
- 是否撤销水龟协议?
1460
01:15:18,940 --> 01:15:22,335
- 使世界恢复正常?
1461
01:15:23,340 --> 01:15:24,335
- 确定?
1462
01:15:30,340 --> 01:15:31,335
- 真的确定?
1463
01:15:32,340 --> 01:15:33,335
- 百分百确定?
1464
01:15:36,340 --> 01:15:38,335
- 真遗憾那是不可能的 看个电影如何?
1465
01:15:44,124 --> 01:15:46,463
一九五九年 肯尼·杰克逊执教的
In 1959, Kenny Jackson coached
1466
01:15:46,464 --> 01:15:48,335
埃里森高中的旅行者篮球队
the Ellison High Journeymen...
1467
01:15:48,336 --> 01:15:50,755
是打进国家级赛事的
to become the first Negro high school team...
1468
01:15:50,756 --> 01:15:53,008
首支黑人球队
ever to compete for a state title.
1469
01:15:53,300 --> 01:15:55,469
并获得胜利的荣光这一头衔
Theirs was victory's glory.
1470
01:15:56,720 --> 01:15:58,757
大家伙儿快动起来 你们怎么还傻坐着?
Come on, y'all. Why y'all still sitting here?
1471
01:15:58,758 --> 01:15:59,722
比赛马上就要开始了
The game's all about to start.
1472
01:15:59,723 --> 01:16:02,100
我们很害怕 教练
Coach, we scared.
1473
01:16:02,768 --> 01:16:07,314
外面有上万的白人觉得我们不够出色
There's 10,000 white people out there that think that we ain't good enough.
1474
01:16:08,774 --> 01:16:11,693
你知道吗? 可能我们确实不够出色
You know what? Maybe we ain't.
1475
01:16:12,319 --> 01:16:14,154
你们都这么觉得?
All of y'all feel like that?
1476
01:16:15,030 --> 01:16:17,157
五百年来 这个国家的黑人
Four hundred years in this country...
1477
01:16:17,699 --> 01:16:22,037
一直被唾弃 被殴打
the black man has been spit on, kicked...
1478
01:16:23,163 --> 01:16:24,623
被诋毁
drag through the mud.
1479
01:16:25,165 --> 01:16:27,334
但是有两件事情是我能确定的
But I've got two things I can tell you.
1480
01:16:28,293 --> 01:16:32,130
第一 不管是输是赢
Number one, win or lose...
1481
01:16:33,298 --> 01:16:35,258
我都以你们为傲
I am so proud of y'all.
1482
01:16:37,177 --> 01:16:38,553
第二...
Number two...
1483
01:16:40,180 --> 01:16:42,224
你们一定会赢的
You're going to win.
1484
01:16:43,350 --> 01:16:45,352
就是那么让人蛋疼的简单
It's just that plain and fucking simple.
1485
01:16:45,560 --> 01:16:47,395
你们一定会赢的!
You're going to win!
1486
01:16:48,230 --> 01:16:49,688
但是海克利技校来的那些白人男孩...
But them white boys from Hickory Tech...
1487
01:16:49,689 --> 01:16:51,238
我们打的是什么比赛?
What game are we playing?
1488
01:16:51,239 --> 01:16:52,192
是篮球 教练
Basketball, Coach.
1489
01:16:52,400 --> 01:16:54,152
他们的肤色是什么?
What color is their skin?
1490
01:16:54,194 --> 01:16:56,320
- 白色 - 正是!
- White. - Exactly!
1491
01:16:56,321 --> 01:16:58,198
他们是白人 你们是黑人
They're white, you're black.
1492
01:16:58,657 --> 01:17:00,200
这是篮球比赛...
This is basketball...
1493
01:17:01,201 --> 01:17:02,743
我他妈说的话你们听不懂吗?
Am I speaking fucking Chinese?
1494
01:17:02,744 --> 01:17:05,704
你们可是二十五战全胜啊 孩子们
Come on, people. You guys are 25 and 0.
1495
01:17:05,705 --> 01:17:08,291
是的 教练 但那是面对全黑人的球队
Yeah, Coach, but that was against all-black teams.
1496
01:17:08,667 --> 01:17:09,656
这就是了!
That's the point!
1497
01:17:09,657 --> 01:17:12,294
你们会把那些高加索小鬼虐出翔的!
Y'all are going to kill those Caucasians!
1498
01:17:12,295 --> 01:17:14,463
但是 教练 看看他们的基本素质
But, Coach, look at their fundamentals.
1499
01:17:14,464 --> 01:17:17,300
基本素质! 这不是问题!
The fundamentals! It doesn't matter!
1500
01:17:17,551 --> 01:17:22,346
哪怕是个白种铁脚板人猿
It's all the same when you're some cement-foot troglodyte white boy...
1501
01:17:22,347 --> 01:17:25,349
被人骑在胯下 头顶黑蛋蛋的时候
getting dunked on with a big pair of black fucking nuts...
1502
01:17:25,350 --> 01:17:27,268
也就那么个熊样!
hanging on your forehead!
1503
01:17:27,269 --> 01:17:29,270
说到蛋蛋... 卢西斯
Speaking of nuts... Lucious.
1504
01:17:29,271 --> 01:17:30,730
站到前面来 卢西斯
Come on up here, Lucious.
1505
01:17:32,357 --> 01:17:34,609
告诉大家 你的鸡鸡有多长?
Tell them. How long is your dick?
1506
01:17:35,360 --> 01:17:37,237
我也不知道 教练 大概有一英尺
I don't know, Coach. Like a foot.
1507
01:17:38,989 --> 01:17:40,198
一尺半吧
Foot and a half.
1508
01:17:40,323 --> 01:17:41,366
一尺半...
Foot and a ha...
1509
01:17:43,577 --> 01:17:45,203
一尺半?
Foot and a half?
1510
01:17:46,079 --> 01:17:48,205
他们的胳膊都没那么长!
Their arm ain't even that long!
1511
01:17:48,206 --> 01:17:52,252
我们来给他们点颜色瞧瞧 害怕了吧?
All right, let's kick some butt. You scared?
1512
01:17:52,377 --> 01:17:54,421
啧 啧 啧
Well, well, well.
1513
01:17:55,255 --> 01:17:57,256
你们这帮黑鬼倒是打球不打?
You Negroes going to play basketball, or what?
1514
01:17:57,257 --> 01:18:00,427
就是 你们这帮黑鬼怎么了?
Yeah, you Negroes. What's the matter?
1515
01:18:00,552 --> 01:18:04,347
明白你们玩不了白人的游戏了 黑鬼?
Did you realize you didn't belong in a white man's game, you Negroes?
1516
01:18:04,389 --> 01:18:06,974
那是 这可不是黑鬼的游戏
That's right. This isn't a game for Negroes.
1517
01:18:06,975 --> 01:18:10,102
这是正直 优秀的白人间的比赛
It's a game for good, honest white people,
1518
01:18:10,103 --> 01:18:11,353
没黑鬼的事儿
not for Negroes.
1519
01:18:11,354 --> 01:18:13,231
听到没 黑鬼?
You understand, Negroes?
1520
01:18:14,357 --> 01:18:18,028
- 白色骑士! - 白色骑士!
- White Knights! - White Knights!
1521
01:18:19,988 --> 01:18:21,363
娘嘞 教练 他们看着真横
Man, Coach, they looked tough.
1522
01:18:21,364 --> 01:18:23,532
"他们看着真横"? 我好怕怕哦!
"They looked tough"? I'm so scared!
1523
01:18:23,533 --> 01:18:25,159
你知道他们会干些什么?
You know what they might do?
1524
01:18:25,160 --> 01:18:28,621
其中一个可能会左手运球
One of them might dribble with his left hand...
1525
01:18:28,622 --> 01:18:31,373
一路运到罚球区 然后来个左手上篮
all the way down the lane and then go up for a left-handed layup...
1526
01:18:31,374 --> 01:18:33,418
你知道之后会发生些什么吗?
and you know what's going to happen then?
1527
01:18:34,044 --> 01:18:37,255
你们这些小黑就会来个重重的盖帽
Your black ass is going to swat that shit...
1528
01:18:37,380 --> 01:18:39,126
一步蹦过他们身边
jump over his cracker ass,
1529
01:18:39,127 --> 01:18:42,426
让他们眼睁睁看着你们把球灌进篮里!
and dunk in his goddamn face!
1530
01:18:42,427 --> 01:18:45,429
我他妈的到底还要重复几次?
How many fucking times do I have to tell you?
1531
01:18:45,430 --> 01:18:49,643
你们是黑人 他们是白人 这不是曲棍球!
You're black, they're white, this ain't hockey!
1532
01:18:50,310 --> 01:18:55,065
兄弟们 我觉得教练想表达的是关键在于合作
Guys, I think what Coach is trying to say is that the key word is "teamwork."
1533
01:18:55,440 --> 01:19:00,403
不是 关键在于你们是黑人 他们是白人!
No, the key word is "you're black, they're white"!
1534
01:19:01,029 --> 01:19:03,614
那么 教练你是说 如果上帝与我们同在
So, Coach, what you're saying is, if we just walk with the Lord...
1535
01:19:03,615 --> 01:19:06,283
上帝? 小黑 上帝早已安排好了!
The Lord? Nigger, the Lord done did his part already!
1536
01:19:06,284 --> 01:19:09,454
他把你造成了黑人 把他们造成了白人
He made you black. He made them white.
1537
01:19:09,704 --> 01:19:12,092
他赐予了你一尺半长的鸡鸡!
He gave you a foot-and-a-half dick!
1538
01:19:12,093 --> 01:19:13,458
都能拿来运球了!
Dribble with that motherfucker!
1539
01:19:14,668 --> 01:19:17,087
只要你们都肯去上场
As long as y'all are out there on the floor...
1540
01:19:17,420 --> 01:19:20,089
就能比他们拿更多分
you're going to score more points than them.
1541
01:19:20,090 --> 01:19:22,342
篮球就是这么打的!
That's just how basketball works!
1542
01:19:27,430 --> 01:19:30,684
别他妈一起缓缓鼓掌了!
Cut that goddamn slow clap shit out!
1543
01:19:30,725 --> 01:19:33,228
老子耐心都快磨没了!
Dries my motherfucking patience!
1544
01:19:33,520 --> 01:19:35,313
滚出去打赢比赛!
Go out there and win!
1545
01:19:36,356 --> 01:19:38,358
- 我们上! - 走起!
- Let's go! - Come on!
1546
01:20:02,210 --> 01:20:03,537
你们是黑人!
1547
01:20:05,510 --> 01:20:07,637
这是一场荣誉之战
It was a glorious game.
1548
01:20:08,513 --> 01:20:10,514
但在第四小节末...
But late in the fourth quarter...
1549
01:20:10,515 --> 01:20:14,393
卢西斯·威廉姆斯晃荡着他一尺半的鸡鸡
when Lucious Williams dribbled the entire length of the court...
1550
01:20:14,394 --> 01:20:16,563
运球过了整场
with his foot-and-a-half penis...
1551
01:20:16,771 --> 01:20:20,400
裁判只好判他技术犯规
the referees had no choice but to call a technical foul...
1552
01:20:21,026 --> 01:20:24,529
将小博比·李·美孚拉尔送上了罚球线
sending young Bobby Lee Mayflower to the line...
1553
01:20:24,696 --> 01:20:28,074
本场比赛最戏剧性的一幕由此上演
for the most dramatic moment of the contest.
1554
01:20:51,139 --> 01:20:52,431
大家好啊
Hey, guys. Hello.
1555
01:20:52,432 --> 01:20:54,100
你旁边的那个女人是谁?
Who is that woman you are with?
1556
01:20:54,309 --> 01:20:55,684
那是我妈
That's my mother.
1557
01:20:55,685 --> 01:20:57,479
我要找你妈(那啥)
I want your mother.
1558
01:21:01,107 --> 01:21:03,443
- 巴克斯特 把那鬼东西关掉 - 知道了
- Baxter, turn that shit off, man. - Okay.
1559
01:21:04,527 --> 01:21:06,207
我得上个厕所 行吗?
I'm going to go to the bathroom, all right?
1560
01:21:12,577 --> 01:21:14,162
我他妈做不到啊
I can't fucking do it.
1561
01:21:14,454 --> 01:21:15,889
我没试过 但听说过
I don't know, but I been told
1562
01:21:15,890 --> 01:21:17,206
我没试过 但听说过
I don't know, but I been told
1563
01:21:17,207 --> 01:21:18,540
体育课能让你的蛋蛋变大
Gym class gives you great big balls
1564
01:21:18,541 --> 01:21:19,584
体育课能...
Gym class gives you...
1565
01:21:23,213 --> 01:21:24,505
来扯扯皮
Out here shooting the shit.
1566
01:21:24,506 --> 01:21:26,075
有些人拉别人一身
Some guys shoot the shit,
1567
01:21:26,076 --> 01:21:28,343
有些人被别人拉一身 对吧?
and some people get shot with shit. Right?
1568
01:21:28,510 --> 01:21:30,637
- 我说的对吧? - 我不知道他在说什么
- Am I right? - I don't know what he's talking about.
1569
01:21:30,762 --> 01:21:32,429
你知道我在说什么的
You know what the fuck I'm talking about.
1570
01:21:32,430 --> 01:21:34,349
我想推倒你
I want to be on you.
1571
01:21:35,433 --> 01:21:36,768
进入你体内
In you.
1572
01:21:38,770 --> 01:21:40,522
- 对不起 我操 - 没事
- Sorry. Fuck. - Not a problem.
1573
01:21:46,611 --> 01:21:47,612
不行
No.
1574
01:21:48,655 --> 01:21:51,241
不是 我能看见他躲在桌子下边
No, I can just see him underneath the table.
1575
01:21:52,492 --> 01:21:54,972
而且他拿手指插我下面已经五分钟了
And he's had his fingers in my pussy for the last five minutes.
1576
01:21:55,036 --> 01:21:58,373
{\an8}阿特·加芬克尔:一位发型狂野的歌手
1577
01:21:55,036 --> 01:21:55,830
太可怕了
It's monstrous.
1578
01:21:55,831 --> 01:21:58,373
她像是坐在了阿特·加芬克尔的肩上
It looks like she's sitting on Art Garfunkel's shoulders.
1579
01:22:06,548 --> 01:22:09,509
想出解决办法前谁都不许走
No one leaves this room till we figure this out.
1580
01:22:11,511 --> 01:22:13,554
绞坏的鸡鸡 绞坏的...
Mangled dicks. Mangled...
1581
01:22:13,555 --> 01:22:15,722
鸡鸡 鸡鸡 鸡鸡 鸡鸡...
Dicks, dicks, dicks, dicks...
1582
01:22:15,723 --> 01:22:16,678
绞坏的鸡鸡
Mangled dicks.
1583
01:22:16,679 --> 01:22:18,350
绞坏的鸡鸡 绞坏的...
Mangled dicks. Mangled...
1584
01:22:18,351 --> 01:22:20,520
- 鸡鸡复鸡鸡 - 鸡鸡复鸡鸡
- Dicks. - Dicks.
1585
01:22:20,603 --> 01:22:22,187
我找到一袋冻豌豆 还有一块海绵
I got frozen peas and a sponge.
1586
01:22:22,188 --> 01:22:24,398
不行 米奇 有一面有钢丝绒
No, Mikey, there's steel wool on one side.
1587
01:22:24,399 --> 01:22:25,566
妈的 你说的没错
Shit, you're right.
1588
01:22:25,567 --> 01:22:28,193
阿曼达 你最好保持黄色面朝上
Okay, Amanda, you're going to want to keep the yellow side up.
1589
01:22:28,194 --> 01:22:30,113
要不然非但止不了血 还会流更多血
Otherwise, there's going to be lots more blood.
1590
01:22:38,538 --> 01:22:40,540
给个金币 我就给你吹萧
I suck cock for gold coins.
1591
01:22:42,041 --> 01:22:43,543
我也是
So do I.
1592
01:22:56,264 --> 01:22:59,224
所以你的意思是 要是我们尽十一分的力
So what you're saying is, if we go out there and give 110 percent...
1593
01:22:59,225 --> 01:23:02,436
十一分的力! 五分! 三分!
A hundred and ten percent! Fifty percent! Three percent!
1594
01:23:02,437 --> 01:23:05,648
我觉得教练想说的是 关键在于合作
I think what Coach is trying to say is that the key word here is "teamwork."
1595
01:23:05,732 --> 01:23:09,235
卢西斯 你能甩出你的鸡鸡抽丫不?
Lucious, will you whip out your dick and smack this motherfucker with it?
1596
01:23:10,737 --> 01:23:12,446
- 怎么? - 我更爱你了
- What? - I love you even more.
1597
01:23:12,447 --> 01:23:14,532
- 哦 安森- 真的
- Oh, Anson. - I do.
1598
01:23:14,991 --> 01:23:16,618
- 我也是 - 是吗?
- Me, too. - You do?
1599
01:23:21,998 --> 01:23:25,126
他是美国人民的最爱... 毕祖尔
He's America's favorite cat... Beezel
1600
01:23:28,549 --> 01:23:30,467
胶着状态
1601
01:23:31,549 --> 01:23:33,467
虽然不太好意思 但我还是要说...
I'm embarrassed to even say this, but...
1602
01:23:33,468 --> 01:23:34,636
怎么?
What?
1603
01:23:35,386 --> 01:23:37,555
艾米 自从你搬来住之后 我...
Amy, ever since you moved in here, I...
1604
01:23:38,681 --> 01:23:40,474
- 怎么? - 我更爱你了
- What? - I love you even more.
1605
01:23:40,475 --> 01:23:42,435
- 哦 安森- 真的
- Oh, Anson. - I do.
1606
01:23:42,477 --> 01:23:44,354
- 我也是 - 是吗?
- Me, too. - You do?
1607
01:23:47,732 --> 01:23:50,235
毕祖尔! 你好啊
Beezel! How are you?
1608
01:23:50,693 --> 01:23:53,071
我的小帅哥怎么样啊?
How is my handsome little boy?
1609
01:23:59,035 --> 01:24:03,497
安森你有没有觉得你和毕祖尔的感情...
Hey, Anson, do you ever feel like your relationship with Beezel...
1610
01:24:03,498 --> 01:24:05,291
有些奇怪吗?
is a little strange?
1611
01:24:05,708 --> 01:24:06,709
艾米!
Amy!
1612
01:24:07,585 --> 01:24:09,378
别告诉我你竟会吃
Please don't tell me you're one of those girls...
1613
01:24:09,379 --> 01:24:11,339
男朋友宠物的醋
that gets jealous of a guy's pet!
1614
01:24:11,464 --> 01:24:14,592
虽然这宠物超级蠢!
Even if that pet is thuper thilly!
1615
01:24:15,051 --> 01:24:18,637
没有没有 我只是觉得他不怎么喜欢我
No, no. I just don't think he likes me very much.
1616
01:24:18,638 --> 01:24:21,306
怎么会 艾米 他很喜欢你!
Come on, Amy. He loves you!
1617
01:24:21,307 --> 01:24:22,684
- 真的? - 当然
- Really? - Yeah.
1618
01:24:23,309 --> 01:24:24,477
坐这儿
There we go.
1619
01:24:26,771 --> 01:24:28,356
我们进行到哪儿了?
Now, where were we?
1620
01:24:37,615 --> 01:24:39,033
怎么了?
What's wrong?
1621
01:24:41,619 --> 01:24:42,662
没什么
Nothing.
1622
01:25:29,709 --> 01:25:31,711
滚开!
Get off of me!
1623
01:25:58,696 --> 01:26:00,406
- 怎么了? - 毕祖尔...
- What happened? - Beezel...
1624
01:26:00,740 --> 01:26:03,576
尿了我一身!
pissed all over me!
1625
01:26:03,993 --> 01:26:05,995
哦 不对 他只是喷了你一下
Oh, no, he just sprayed you.
1626
01:26:06,120 --> 01:26:09,706
公猫有时候是会这样的 这表示他喜欢你
It's something male cats do sometimes. It means he likes you.
1627
01:26:09,707 --> 01:26:11,583
- 他喜欢我? - 是啊
- He likes me? - Yeah.
1628
01:26:11,584 --> 01:26:14,712
或者说明他病了 兄弟你病了吗?
Or it could mean that he's sick. Buddy, are you sick?
1629
01:26:14,754 --> 01:26:17,381
安森他是故意的!
Anson, he did this on purpose!
1630
01:26:17,382 --> 01:26:19,068
我逮着他在自撸
I caught him masturbating.
1631
01:26:19,069 --> 01:26:21,093
他可能只是在搞清洁
He was probably just cleaning himself.
1632
01:26:21,094 --> 01:26:24,638
对着你的泳装照自撸!
It was to pictures of you in a swimsuit!
1633
01:26:24,639 --> 01:26:27,140
猫根本不可能会看照片
Cats can't even process images in that way.
1634
01:26:27,141 --> 01:26:29,726
但他并不是普通的猫
But he is not a normal cat.
1635
01:26:29,727 --> 01:26:30,977
他当然普通
Of course he is.
1636
01:26:30,978 --> 01:26:34,107
他刚刚含了根温度计进嘴里
He just put a fucking thermometer in his mouth!
1637
01:26:34,315 --> 01:26:35,650
他拿那当玩具呢
He thinks it's a toy.
1638
01:26:40,405 --> 01:26:41,739
哦 毕祖尔
Oh, Beezel.
1639
01:26:43,616 --> 01:26:45,617
安森我是爱你
Anson. I love you.
1640
01:26:45,618 --> 01:26:48,620
我很爱 但是只要那只小混蛋还在...
I do, but as long as that little fucker is around...
1641
01:26:48,621 --> 01:26:50,206
我不会和你在一起的
I cannot be with you.
1642
01:26:50,373 --> 01:26:52,667
别啊 艾米 艾米 听着
No, Amy, Amy. Look.
1643
01:26:54,001 --> 01:26:56,545
只要你高兴 我会把毕祖尔送去别家养
If it'll make you happy, I'll find another home for Beezel.
1644
01:26:56,546 --> 01:26:57,755
他只是一只猫
He's just a cat.
1645
01:26:58,965 --> 01:27:00,133
但是你...
But you...
1646
01:27:01,342 --> 01:27:02,760
你是我爱的女人
you're the woman that I love.
1647
01:27:04,554 --> 01:27:07,473
- 你真的会处理掉他? - 我会的
- Really, you'd get rid of him? - I will.
1648
01:27:07,765 --> 01:27:09,474
- 我爱你 - 我爱你
- I love you. - I love you.
1649
01:27:09,475 --> 01:27:10,685
不 我更爱你
No, I love you.
1650
01:27:34,500 --> 01:27:37,044
毕祖尔 你在哪儿啊 孩子?
Beezel, where are you, boy?
1651
01:27:37,378 --> 01:27:39,338
出来 快出来 你个搞老鼠的小贱人
Come out, come out, you little rat-fucker.
1652
01:27:40,173 --> 01:27:41,466
毕祖尔!
Beezel!
1653
01:27:43,092 --> 01:27:46,470
惨了 我跟我妈说我会在一小时内送他过去的
Shit, I told my mother we'd have him there in an hour.
1654
01:27:46,471 --> 01:27:49,056
她愿意代我们照顾他就很不错了
She was nice enough to take him off our hands.
1655
01:27:49,432 --> 01:27:52,143
- 你能不能去外面找找? - 没问题
- Do you mind checking outside for him? - Absolutely.
1656
01:27:52,435 --> 01:27:53,686
我上楼去找找
I'm going to go upstairs.
1657
01:27:56,731 --> 01:27:58,107
毕祖尔?
Beezel?
1658
01:28:34,101 --> 01:28:37,563
你死定了 你个小贱人!
That's it, you son of a bitch!
1659
01:28:41,108 --> 01:28:43,110
屁精...
Cock-sucking...
1660
01:28:44,028 --> 01:28:45,737
操蛋...
motherfucking...
1661
01:28:45,738 --> 01:28:48,574
被加菲猫甩了的混球!
Garfield reject piece of shit!
1662
01:28:52,161 --> 01:28:54,330
去死吧 你这...
Die, you...
1663
01:28:55,164 --> 01:28:58,084
地狱来的基佬猫!
dick-loving devil cat!
1664
01:29:05,508 --> 01:29:08,135
怎么了?
What?
1665
01:29:09,762 --> 01:29:11,097
别看
Don't look.
1666
01:29:11,514 --> 01:29:14,308
妈妈 她在虐待那只小猫...
Mommy, she's beating that cat...
1667
01:29:15,059 --> 01:29:16,102
它都快死了!
to death!
1668
01:29:17,311 --> 01:29:19,063
他想弄死我
He tried to kill me.
1669
01:29:19,355 --> 01:29:21,190
不 你们不了解
No, you don't understand.
1670
01:29:21,524 --> 01:29:24,068
你们不了解
You don't understand.
1671
01:29:28,030 --> 01:29:29,407
求你了
Please.
1672
01:29:31,492 --> 01:29:33,035
抓住她!
Get her!
176805
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