Original subtitles

IN TRIBUTE TO MORRIS AND GOSCINNY

[♪ dramatic western music playing]

[clock ticking]

Faster than your shadow.

THE SINGING PONY

[all chattering indistinctly]

- Mr. Pete-- - Pit Viper.

Pete, the Pit Viper.

Mr., um, Viper, the question on everyone's mind is, um,

"Why is it that you want to kill Lucky Luke?"

- [groans] - [woman screams]

[Pete] Because I can.

Are there any other questions?

Mmm.

I, uh, have one.

I was wondering how would you explain, um,

the fact that you've got a duel in a minute

and your rival's nowhere to be found.

Maybe he's too afraid.

He shoots faster than a shadow. What does he have to fear?

Tell me.

But, you know, the day will come when that man,

even that man, is nothing more than a shadow of himself.

[clock ticking]

[man exhales]

[groans]

[pants]

[groans]

You're Muybridge, right?

Edward Muybridge from the Borderland Herald. A pleasure.

Three cameras? Isn't that overkill?

But it's Lucky Luke.

Shoots before he draws, and no one's photographed him doing it.

So, I'm hedging my bets.

[♪ dramatic western music playing]

You were almost late.

You can never really be late to a funeral.

Your new gloves giving you confidence?

You don't usually wear any.

Is it perhaps because you had an accident?

[snake hissing]

- [rooster crowing] - [grunts]

Can't say that I have.

Snake's pretty messed up, though.

I turned it into these gloves.

[door opens and closes]

- You still got one minute to cancel. - Do you know what... what you got left?

Doesn't matter. You got one more minute.

A minute, okay?

[♪ dramatic western music playing]

[clock ticking]

- [gun fires] - [gasps]

[pants]

[all laughing]

[pants]

Luke, tomorrow at noon sharp.

You're a dead man. I'll dig your grave!

I'll dig your grave!

I'm gonna kill you! Let me go!

Get off me! I'll kill all of you!

And you, too! And you!

- Well, did you get it? - [Pete] And you, too! I will kill you all!

I couldn't even get the shutter tripped.

How does he do it?

[♪ country western music playing]

[gun fires]

CHAPTER I THE LONE ONE

[all chattering indistinctly]

- [yelps] - [grunts]

[grunts]

[exhales]

- [Luke chuckles] - [groans]

[Luke] Nice shot, kiddo.

Even though it was a pretty lucky one.

Ah!

[Luke] But next time, watch out for that recoil.

[chuckles]

Anyway... [exhales]

Thank you.

What was that? Thank you? No, no, no.

[pants]

Thank you?

My mother, where is she?

- What? Your mother? - I just saved you, so spit it out!

You tell me now or I'll un-save you!

Wow.

You must be new to making threats.

And to guns. Put that away. You're gonna hurt yourself again.

I've mastered it, okay?

Yeah, it's my mother's gun, but I know what I'm doing.

[gun clicks]

[gun clicks]

[gun clicks]

[gun clicks]

Sorry, kiddo.

You're in the Wild West, and clearly, you're new to that too.

[♪ melancholic music playing]

CALAMITY JANE LIFE AND ADVENTURES VOLUME 1

For Louise, my little papoose who dreams of becoming a cowgirl. Grandpa Toukom

[sobbing]

[Louise] My dear Toukom.

Where is Mom?

[groaning] Lucky Luke.

Lucky Luke.

[breathes deeply]

We should have used a bear. It would've taken his hand right off.

I'm gonna burn down this whole town.

[Louise] Excuse me.

- I've come as a friend. - [Pete] This is the Wild West.

No friends here.

- After everything we've been through-- - Shut up.

Who are you?

My name is Louise.

Louise Willow.

I've got information for you.

Are you sure that's true?

Yeah, it was right in front of me.

He was in a lot of pain. His hand was swollen.

How'd he beat me if he got vipered, huh?

Bitted. I mean, you know, bit.

[Louise] Mmm.

Maybe someone helped him.

No, I bet it was the venom.

It could be the slow moving kind. Affecting him later.

That is possible because venom isn't an exact science.

Sometimes the effect's delayed.

[La Langue] Hmm.

- Couldn't you think of that earlier? - I'm not a reptologist.

Quit it with your complicated words. They're confusing.

Mea culpa.

- What did I just say? - Well, do we agree?

We rest up right now, and then tomorrow,

we capture him, torture him, I'll get answers,

and after that, you kill him.

Seems like you're annoyed.

He went after my family.

Sound good to you?

Yeah. [chuckles]

Capture, torture, question, take him out.

[Luke groans]

Still pretty swollen?

Yeah.

I can draw an aim.

The problem is shooting straight

[pants]

[grunts]

If it doesn't get better...

I'm no good without it.

It's all I got. I've sacrificed everything to get here.

[gun fires]

[Cuchillo] But you're Lucky Luke.

You're a legend.

And legends last forever.

Yeah.

There's more demand for oil and trains than legends nowadays.

[chuckles]

We're an endangered species around here, that's for sure.

You know why they call me Cuchillo?

Some years before I was an almost blind geriatric marshal,

I was a poor little Mexican peasant kid, too poor to own a colt.

All I had was a knife to fight the gringos oppressing us.

[in Spanish] A knife, my friend.

[chuckles softly]

[Cuchillo in English] And the advantage is...

you don't have to grip it very hard.

It doesn't replace a six-shooter,

but if you get some practice with it, you can get the job done.

Yeah, with a bit of luck.

You need luck? But that's your name.

Believe in your name.

[♪ dramatic music playing]

[exhales]

[sighs]

THE DALTONS ESCAPE Once again...

Thanks for helping me.

No problem.

Gun shake?

[Louise] Hmm?

You've never done a gun shake? Hmm?

- Mmm. - Give me it.

- Give me it! - [yelps]

Watch and learn.

[blows raspberry]

[laughs]

No? Here.

But it's dangerous. I lost a cousin once that way.

Shot himself. Idiot.

Anyway, it's great, you're part of our gang now.

- A Westerner like we are. - [Louise] Hmm.

Ready to strike someone dead.

Not like that bastard Lucky Luke who respects the law,

defends orphans and widows.

- You mean he kills orphans and widows. - What?

No. No!

He's a fucking vigilante. The most famous one.

Know what he's got? An honor code. The man won't kill anyone.

[Louise] Oh, really?

Where is he on kidnappings?

Does he kidnap folks?

Innocent people, women?

No. No. No, no, no. The guy's a fucking hero.

Yeah, shocking, I know.

[Luke inhales, exhales]

[exhales]

[exhales]

[Pete] We'll round up the family to get Luke.

Then we'll take care of the bumpkins and burn down the saloon.

Booze is great for fires.

I think burning down the town sounds like a great plan. I do. I love it.

Um, but I was thinking, just in case, couldn't we have a plan B?

Like, instead of starting a fire, let's steal something...

No. No. No.

[exhales]

- [exhales] - [horse braying and trotting]

[groans]

[gun clicks]

You came to finish what you started?

No, I came to apologize.

I may have been wrong about you.

I heard you're, um, a vigilante?

All right, finally.

[scoffs]

You been living under a rock?

- Where are you from? - Albuquerque.

Uh-huh. So you're a city girl?

It's not my fault I didn't know who you were.

I never had newspapers. My mom wasn't into that.

It was isolating. I read novels to learn about the world.

Oh, okay. That's why you're a little bit, um...

[exhales]

- Stupid? - No.

You thought "stupid."

No, I was gonna say...

Yeah, stupid.

The thing is, when my mom disappeared...

my grandfather was killed.

And before he died, he said your name.

To ask you for help one day.

[sighs]

[grunts]

I'm sorry, kiddo.

Who was your grandfather?

Toukom.

I didn't know him, but he was smart.

Because I'll help you find your mother.

Really?

It's what I do. I want to repay you.

You're the reason Viper Pete didn't get me.

Uh... Uh... Uh, speaking of Pete...

There may be a chance that his boys know about your hand problem.

- Hmm. - You know this because?

- Because I told them all. - Okay, she is stupid.

No, I didn't know you were a good guy at that point.

- That was before. - All right, Luke.

Not the first time you're facing three desperados.

Well, it's actually 12. Twelve dudes.

Fifteen.

Around 15.

[men groaning]

[objects clatter]

[Luke] Wait. What did you do?

Okay, fine. I've got it now.

How did your mother raise you?

Is your father around?

Never knew him. He's unreliable.

Okay, so it's a family thing.

I screwed up, I get it. I did take some of their weapons.

And I got a plan.

[♪ dramatic western music playing]

[rope tightening]

All right, here you go. So, this rope is the first domino.

Connected to the rest of it.

Throw your knife, cut the rope, and it starts the chain reaction.

Each Winchester...

[guns cocking]

is in a barrel. There, there, there.

There, there, and there. Then it's all fireworks.

You take out 15 desperadoes with a Winch-orchestra.

Brra, brra, brra, brra, brra. Brra, brra, brra, brra, brra!

Brra? It's actually bang.

No. Now it's brra. It's not bang anymore.

Uh, no, you're wrong.

I say that as a pro, you understand? It's still bang.

- It is my job, after all. - What is, to be old?

No, to go bang.

[sighs]

Look, I hope your domino thing works out.

I guess you're not really a teamwork kinda guy.

- [Luke sighs] - Got trouble with trusting people?

I guess I do.

How weird is that?

Especially after you shot me,

framed me for murder, and ratted me out. Did I forget anything?

- But that was before. - Three hours ago.

So much happened in the past three hours though.

- Is there anything else I don't know? - No. That's everything.

- You sure? - I'm sure.

[exhales]

[clicks tongue, inhales]

All right. They'll be here any minute now.

I'll make sure Cuchillo has everyone in a safe place.

You get your horse somewhere safe.

[inhales]

[♪ western music playing]

[inhales]

[Louise exhales] Are they here?

[Luke] They're coming.

I got my colt, my cartridge belt, my spurs for close combat.

[exhales]

- Did I forget anything? - No.

[clicks tongue, inhales]

Louise, I wanted to say thank you.

[Louise] Hmm.

For staying right here.

[grunts]

- What are you doing? - Keeping you out of trouble.

[Louise] No, but you need me.

Got some trust issues, huh?

Don't worry. I can cut a rope all by myself.

Hey! Get back here!

[♪ tense western music playing]

Feels like déjà vu, doesn't it?

Except for your pals.

They all came to say hi to you.

I prefer goodbyes.

[rope whizzes]

[grunts]

[flies buzzing]

[Luke inhales]

[sighs]

Hmm.

[chuckles]

[grunts]

[clears throat]

[blows]

You thought you'd throw a knife

- and just-- - [grunts]

[♪ whimsical western music playing]

- [Pete] Hey! - [guns firing]

[Luke grunting]

[all clamoring]

[panting]

[all clamoring]

[whistling]

- [groans] - [grunts]

[groaning]

Huh.

[grunts]

[sighs]

How would I get out of this if I were Calamity Jane?

Prisoner at Misery Lane, page 78.

"To unshackle her hands,

Calamity wraps her palm around her finger,

just above the joint

and dislocates it with a yank."

[exhales]

- [bone cracks] - [screaming]

Hey.

[wincing]

Were you the one screaming just now?

I dislocated a finger, but it was the wrong one.

[groans]

I'll put it back for you.

- [bone clicks] - [screams]

[exhales]

Thank you so much.

Would you pop my thumb out?

Wouldn't you rather I just untie you?

Oh, okay. Yeah.

What the hell is going on?

[whistling]

This guy is missing his poncho.

- [thudding] - [man groans]

[pants]

- [yelps] - [man grunts]

And here we are.

Our first good news of the day.

- [Louise pants] - Luke!

Show your face or your girl's gonna get it.

On three, I'll put a bullet in her. One!

Two!

Three.

[footsteps approaching]

Throw your weapon down.

In the dirt.

[exhales]

That's right.

Now, listen to me carefully.

- You're gonna gently-- - [screams]

[♪ whimsical western music playing]

[Luke yelps]

[screams, grunts]

[pants]

[grunts]

[grunts]

[grunts]

Hey, hey, we've gotta work together, all right?

I'll aim the gun, you shoot when I say "bang."

[grunts]

Ready for this?

Three.

Two.

One! Go!

Bang, bang, bang!

[all groan]

[both panting]

[Louise sighs]

[Luke grunts]

[Luke] Put that away, you're gonna hurt yourself again.

[Louise] I've mastered it, okay?

Yeah, it's my mother's gun.

[ropes stretching]

[clicks]

[♪ melancholic music playing]

[Louise] Is this how you thank me?

You wanted to steal my gun and get rid of me?

No, I'm not. I mean, I'm leaving you with the sheriff.

- You're in good hands. - And my mother?

You'd help find her, you said.

Cuchillo will help you.

Some legend of the West.

[inhales, exhales]

[inhales, exhales]

[breathes deeply]

[inhales, exhales]

[♪ dramatic western music playing]

TO BE CONTINUED...

ON LUCKY LUKE

[Louise] Lucky Luke, the man who shoots faster than his own shadow.

I don't want your help. What do you think I am?

- That I'm at your disposal to be helped? - You don't know the Wild West.

- The Wild West doesn't know me. Okay? - [sighs]

- A gang of bandits is robbing it. - Which bandits?

[woman] The Daltons.

[Luke] Joe, he's their boss.

My mother is in danger. Do you want to save her or not?

Do you? Do you want to save her?

[guns clicking]

[Luke] When you provoke people, and you steal things,

and you act before thinking...

[huffs in annoyance]

[laughs]

[Joe] Help! Help!

Boom!

[La Foudre] Do you hear it coming, Luke?

It's the moment when lightning is going to strike

the same place the second time.