All language subtitles for South.Park.S16E14.HDTV.x264-ASAP

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified) Download
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,644 --> 00:00:07,549 Sync and correction by Mlmlte www.addic7ed.com 2 00:00:38,709 --> 00:00:43,103 Okay Mister Thompson, voting line is right over there. 3 00:00:43,642 --> 00:00:46,421 - Next, please. - Mom? 4 00:00:46,587 --> 00:00:49,487 Mommy? Where's my mommy? 5 00:00:49,612 --> 00:00:52,651 Oh dear, did you lose your mother, little boy? 6 00:00:52,972 --> 00:00:55,520 - Mom! - Security! 7 00:00:57,014 --> 00:01:00,559 - Huh? - This little boy lost his mom! 8 00:01:00,684 --> 00:01:04,325 She said to wait for her by the plastic boxes if I got lost! 9 00:01:04,708 --> 00:01:06,854 It's alright come on. 10 00:01:21,052 --> 00:01:23,804 Mom, where's my mom? 11 00:01:23,929 --> 00:01:26,920 Oh dear, did you lose your mommy, little boy? 12 00:01:31,647 --> 00:01:33,262 Would you like some warm nuts, sir? 13 00:01:33,387 --> 00:01:36,202 Ha ha haa! Warm nuts she says! 14 00:01:43,595 --> 00:01:46,940 Mom! I lost my mom! 15 00:01:51,208 --> 00:01:53,442 Warm nuts, sir? Warm nuts? 16 00:01:54,309 --> 00:01:57,034 No way, dude. No way. 17 00:02:01,459 --> 00:02:04,791 Mom! I can't find my mom! 18 00:02:07,794 --> 00:02:11,298 - You like warm nuts, sir? - Ahah! Okay, okay, it's getting old. 19 00:02:15,736 --> 00:02:17,372 Mom! 20 00:02:17,497 --> 00:02:19,014 Mom! 21 00:02:25,868 --> 00:02:27,564 The people have spoken 22 00:02:27,730 --> 00:02:32,152 and the President of the United States is once again, Barack Obama. 23 00:02:32,318 --> 00:02:35,352 I assure you all that I am heading back to the White House 24 00:02:35,477 --> 00:02:39,076 more motivated, more titillated than ever. 25 00:02:41,253 --> 00:02:43,401 Don't be sad, ike. Just be happy that you live in a 26 00:02:43,526 --> 00:02:45,668 country where people get to elect a president at all. 27 00:02:48,355 --> 00:02:50,504 - Hello? - Hey, Kyle, what's up? 28 00:02:50,804 --> 00:02:52,422 Nothing, watching the election results. 29 00:02:52,588 --> 00:02:54,288 Yeah, I figured. It's the day after the election 30 00:02:54,413 --> 00:02:55,792 so you're probably sitting on the couch telling your little 31 00:02:55,917 --> 00:02:58,011 brother how great it is to live in a Democratic society. 32 00:02:59,109 --> 00:03:00,778 Listen, Kyle, could you come over for a second. 33 00:03:00,903 --> 00:03:02,099 I've got something I need to show you. 34 00:03:02,265 --> 00:03:03,487 - What? - Please, Kyle. 35 00:03:03,612 --> 00:03:05,268 It's kind of important. 36 00:03:07,019 --> 00:03:08,771 Alright, what is this all about, Fat Ass? 37 00:03:08,896 --> 00:03:10,958 You happy with the election results last night, Kyle? 38 00:03:11,083 --> 00:03:12,359 It doesn't matter if I am or not. 39 00:03:12,525 --> 00:03:14,611 People voted and I stand behind the President. 40 00:03:15,024 --> 00:03:17,237 Oh, it's such a Democratic thing to say, Kyle. 41 00:03:17,362 --> 00:03:18,772 What if I were to tell you... 42 00:03:18,897 --> 00:03:22,160 that I have something in my room that could change the entire election? 43 00:03:22,326 --> 00:03:24,454 - Sure you do. - What if I did, Kyle? 44 00:03:24,620 --> 00:03:26,243 What could you possibly have in your room 45 00:03:26,368 --> 00:03:27,791 that could change the outcome of the election? 46 00:03:34,453 --> 00:03:35,841 Pretty sweet, huh? 47 00:03:36,235 --> 00:03:37,481 What the hell is this? 48 00:03:37,606 --> 00:03:38,468 What's it look like? 49 00:03:38,634 --> 00:03:41,388 Hundreds of thousands of votes from all the swing states. 50 00:03:41,803 --> 00:03:42,889 I don't believe it. 51 00:03:43,055 --> 00:03:44,761 No, really, there are states full of swingers. 52 00:03:44,886 --> 00:03:46,143 Bunch of perverts if you ask me. 53 00:03:46,309 --> 00:03:47,477 Why do you have these? 54 00:03:47,643 --> 00:03:49,547 Funny how voting works in this country, isn't it, Kyle. 55 00:03:49,672 --> 00:03:53,306 Each one of these a person... someone who took the time to get 56 00:03:53,431 --> 00:03:56,206 themselves informed, actually got up and drove to a voting 57 00:03:56,331 --> 00:03:57,904 area to make sure their voice was heard. 58 00:04:01,365 --> 00:04:02,211 Dude! 59 00:04:02,437 --> 00:04:04,253 Here's another patriotic American. 60 00:04:04,378 --> 00:04:06,855 He probably spent hours listening to all those presidential ads 61 00:04:06,980 --> 00:04:08,417 and tuned in to every debate. 62 00:04:09,373 --> 00:04:10,267 Knock it off, Cartman! 63 00:04:10,392 --> 00:04:12,836 Now believe it or not, Kyle. I actually need your help. 64 00:04:12,961 --> 00:04:15,160 But first, you have to promise not to tell anyone. 65 00:04:15,285 --> 00:04:17,103 You're not getting away with this, you fat turd!! 66 00:04:27,568 --> 00:04:30,995 Run now, little firefly. It's all part of the plan. 67 00:04:31,723 --> 00:04:34,942 Sweetie, there's a Mr. Pun Lee Tsao on the phone for you. 68 00:04:35,067 --> 00:04:37,881 Thanks Mom. I'll take that... in the study. 69 00:04:38,006 --> 00:04:40,218 Do I have a study? I don't think I have a study. 70 00:04:40,343 --> 00:04:41,531 That's fine. 71 00:04:45,159 --> 00:04:46,661 Mr. President. 72 00:04:46,827 --> 00:04:47,464 Yes. 73 00:04:47,589 --> 00:04:49,548 Line two from China for you, sir. 74 00:04:49,673 --> 00:04:51,416 It's General Tsao. 75 00:04:53,163 --> 00:04:54,544 Yes, hello, General. 76 00:04:54,710 --> 00:04:58,048 We presume you are pleased with the election results? 77 00:04:58,214 --> 00:05:00,383 Very pleased. Thank you for your help. 78 00:05:00,549 --> 00:05:04,554 And you, no doubt, will now begin filling your side of the bargain. 79 00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:07,300 You'll have what you want. I'll meet you in three hours. 80 00:05:09,262 --> 00:05:11,567 Sir, the election may have gone the way they said, 81 00:05:11,692 --> 00:05:14,731 but we can't possibly give the Chinese what you promised. 82 00:05:15,207 --> 00:05:18,169 I don't know how they did it but the Chinese secured my victory. 83 00:05:18,294 --> 00:05:20,153 I have to fulfill my obligation. 84 00:05:20,392 --> 00:05:22,632 And what if General Tsao suddenly gets the courage 85 00:05:22,757 --> 00:05:24,402 to go to the press with all this? 86 00:05:24,527 --> 00:05:25,627 Don't worry. 87 00:05:25,958 --> 00:05:28,331 Everyone knows General Tsao's chicken. 88 00:05:34,596 --> 00:05:35,585 Eric Cartman? 89 00:05:35,751 --> 00:05:38,880 We have a report you might be involved in voter fraud. 90 00:05:39,250 --> 00:05:40,505 Mmm, no. 91 00:05:40,881 --> 00:05:42,592 You mind if we search your room? 92 00:05:43,050 --> 00:05:44,299 I'm sorry, but I know my rights. 93 00:05:44,424 --> 00:05:45,922 You can't search my room without a warrant, 94 00:05:46,047 --> 00:05:47,722 and I'm afraid I can't give you permission. 95 00:05:47,888 --> 00:05:49,402 This isn't a joke, Cartman! 96 00:05:49,527 --> 00:05:50,896 You have to believe me, Officer, 97 00:05:51,021 --> 00:05:52,565 the outcome of the election depends on it. 98 00:05:52,816 --> 00:05:54,104 Let's just see. 99 00:05:54,270 --> 00:05:55,689 Hey! You can't do that! 100 00:05:56,504 --> 00:05:58,108 Upstairs! First door on the left! 101 00:05:58,969 --> 00:06:00,801 I know my rights! Stop right now! 102 00:06:05,808 --> 00:06:08,285 But... they were here. 103 00:06:08,451 --> 00:06:09,341 I swear it! 104 00:06:09,466 --> 00:06:12,038 Stacks and stacks of ballots from states all over the country! 105 00:06:12,204 --> 00:06:16,167 I was always told that we lived in a country based on freedom. 106 00:06:16,333 --> 00:06:18,076 That the one thing that made America different was 107 00:06:18,201 --> 00:06:20,498 that the government could never barge into our lives unwarranted. 108 00:06:20,623 --> 00:06:22,088 But it's all changing, isn't it? 109 00:06:22,556 --> 00:06:24,571 Ever since Obama was first elected, 110 00:06:24,696 --> 00:06:25,955 it's all changing. 111 00:06:26,734 --> 00:06:28,439 Oh my God, what have we done? 112 00:06:28,564 --> 00:06:30,223 I guess this country is changing. 113 00:06:30,389 --> 00:06:32,796 We're sorry, little boy. We're so sorry. 114 00:06:33,476 --> 00:06:34,813 Please, you've got to believe me! 115 00:06:34,938 --> 00:06:36,039 They've still got to be here somewhere! 116 00:06:36,164 --> 00:06:37,383 We have to find them! 117 00:06:38,426 --> 00:06:39,682 But where could they be? 118 00:06:39,807 --> 00:06:40,648 Where? 119 00:06:40,773 --> 00:06:43,132 And why would I care so much about the election results? 120 00:06:43,257 --> 00:06:44,964 So many questions, Kyle. 121 00:06:45,089 --> 00:06:46,910 So little time. 122 00:06:53,425 --> 00:06:55,402 Guys! You guys! 123 00:06:55,751 --> 00:06:56,491 Listen, 124 00:06:56,616 --> 00:06:59,113 Cartman has tens of thousands of voter ballots hidden somewhere! 125 00:06:59,238 --> 00:07:01,223 He's changed the outcome of the election! 126 00:07:01,763 --> 00:07:03,506 Wow, really. That's pretty impressive. 127 00:07:03,672 --> 00:07:06,267 Come on you guys, he's hid them somewhere we have to find them. 128 00:07:06,392 --> 00:07:08,498 But I thought Obama won pretty easily last night. 129 00:07:08,623 --> 00:07:10,034 Dude, because of the electoral college 130 00:07:10,159 --> 00:07:11,980 these votes in swing states can really matter! 131 00:07:12,105 --> 00:07:13,498 I don't understand that stuff at all. 132 00:07:13,623 --> 00:07:15,044 I need Morgan Freeman to explain it to me. 133 00:07:15,169 --> 00:07:17,437 Yeah, I love when Morgan Freeman explains stuff. 134 00:07:17,603 --> 00:07:19,712 Whenever I'm confused about what's going on in a movie 135 00:07:19,837 --> 00:07:23,271 I'm always so relieved when Morgan Freeman shows up and explains the plot to me. 136 00:07:23,396 --> 00:07:25,024 God dammit, this is serious, you guys! 137 00:07:25,149 --> 00:07:26,839 Cartman has stolen the election! 138 00:07:26,964 --> 00:07:28,784 Well, maybe Cartman had a good reason. 139 00:07:30,598 --> 00:07:33,261 Butters, you know something, don't you? Huh? 140 00:07:33,386 --> 00:07:34,704 Uh, no! Why? 141 00:07:34,870 --> 00:07:37,073 - What did Cartman tell you?! - He didn't tell me nothing! 142 00:07:37,198 --> 00:07:39,545 And I swore to secrecy! It's really important, Kyle, 143 00:07:39,670 --> 00:07:41,064 and it isn't what you think. 144 00:07:41,189 --> 00:07:44,255 - Don't make me say any more. - Tell us what you know, right now. 145 00:07:44,421 --> 00:07:46,067 I can't, don't you see? 146 00:07:48,053 --> 00:07:50,553 Don't make me swallow this! I'll do it! 147 00:07:51,068 --> 00:07:53,094 - Is that an M&M? - It's an almond M&M! 148 00:07:53,219 --> 00:07:55,544 I'm very allergic to almonds! Please! 149 00:07:55,669 --> 00:07:56,893 Just leave me alone! 150 00:07:57,059 --> 00:07:58,478 Then you have to tell us. 151 00:07:59,796 --> 00:08:01,909 Well... huh... 152 00:08:03,941 --> 00:08:05,598 Oh, shit! Don't let him swallow it! 153 00:08:05,723 --> 00:08:07,821 - Pry his mouth open! - He ate it! 154 00:08:08,307 --> 00:08:09,675 Butters, where are the ballots going? 155 00:08:09,800 --> 00:08:10,824 Where are they going? 156 00:08:10,990 --> 00:08:14,449 I... I... I hate almonds. 157 00:08:28,544 --> 00:08:31,309 - More melted butter, sir? - Mmm, mmm. 158 00:08:33,611 --> 00:08:34,703 Little boy, 159 00:08:34,828 --> 00:08:37,420 the President is on his way to pick up the ballots. 160 00:08:37,545 --> 00:08:38,476 Where are they? 161 00:08:39,561 --> 00:08:40,452 They're nearby. 162 00:08:40,577 --> 00:08:41,783 Very safe and sound. 163 00:08:42,205 --> 00:08:45,150 I just might want to alter our deal a lite bit. 164 00:08:46,365 --> 00:08:47,763 Alter our... 165 00:08:47,888 --> 00:08:50,488 the President will be here in moments with what we want! 166 00:08:50,654 --> 00:08:53,491 Yeah, tell me again exactly what you plan on doing with it. 167 00:08:53,657 --> 00:08:55,491 Oh my God, it's the President! 168 00:08:57,430 --> 00:08:59,527 - The President! - Congratulations, sir! 169 00:08:59,891 --> 00:09:02,614 Thank you, thank you all for your votes of confidence. 170 00:09:02,969 --> 00:09:04,629 If I could just be a little rude 171 00:09:04,754 --> 00:09:07,171 and ask to have a nice quiet meal in private? 172 00:09:07,296 --> 00:09:08,565 Oh, of course! 173 00:09:08,690 --> 00:09:10,754 Come on, let's let the President have some peace and quiet! 174 00:09:10,879 --> 00:09:13,274 Wow, the President eats at Red Lobster! 175 00:09:13,399 --> 00:09:15,133 He's just a normal guy like me! 176 00:09:15,258 --> 00:09:16,973 Come on, guys! President says get out! 177 00:09:17,139 --> 00:09:19,360 I didn't actually vote for him. Huh. 178 00:09:23,570 --> 00:09:24,571 Alright. 179 00:09:24,926 --> 00:09:26,081 Where are the ballots? 180 00:09:31,653 --> 00:09:34,603 {pub}Your friend has had a severe allergic reaction. 181 00:09:34,835 --> 00:09:36,442 Can we please just try and talk to him? 182 00:09:36,567 --> 00:09:38,703 Alright, but don't take too long. 183 00:09:41,789 --> 00:09:43,904 Butters, you have to tell us what Cartman is up to. 184 00:09:46,195 --> 00:09:48,350 I didn't want to have to do this, but if you don't tell us, 185 00:09:48,475 --> 00:09:51,424 I'm gonna tell your dad you helped get the wrong person elected president. 186 00:09:51,982 --> 00:09:53,718 No! Please, you can't! 187 00:09:53,884 --> 00:09:55,428 Then just tell me what Cartman is up to! 188 00:09:55,594 --> 00:09:56,980 Okay! Okay! 189 00:09:57,217 --> 00:09:59,326 (he burbles something incomprehensible) 190 00:10:00,130 --> 00:10:01,046 What'd he say? 191 00:10:01,171 --> 00:10:03,393 (incomprehensible) 192 00:10:03,518 --> 00:10:04,286 Oh. 193 00:10:04,411 --> 00:10:07,106 What do you mean the election isn't the biggest thing that happened this week? 194 00:10:07,272 --> 00:10:10,026 (incomprehensible) 195 00:10:10,192 --> 00:10:10,883 What? 196 00:10:11,008 --> 00:10:13,211 (incomprehensible) 197 00:10:13,336 --> 00:10:14,935 You mean the missile defense program? 198 00:10:15,060 --> 00:10:18,117 Butters, where is Cartman supposed to hand over the ballots? 199 00:10:18,283 --> 00:10:19,744 At Red Lobster. 200 00:10:20,872 --> 00:10:21,914 At Red Lobster. 201 00:10:22,661 --> 00:10:23,373 Where? 202 00:10:23,539 --> 00:10:24,874 Red Lobster. 203 00:10:25,040 --> 00:10:27,961 - Huh? - He said, at r-r-red... 204 00:10:28,127 --> 00:10:29,379 Red Lobster! 205 00:10:29,545 --> 00:10:31,172 - Red Lobster! - What? 206 00:10:31,484 --> 00:10:33,049 R-r-r-red, r-r-r-red... 207 00:10:33,215 --> 00:10:34,384 Red Lobster! 208 00:10:34,550 --> 00:10:35,624 Red Lobster! 209 00:10:35,749 --> 00:10:37,142 Oh, Red Lobster. 210 00:10:37,678 --> 00:10:41,307 General Tsao, do you have the missing ballots or not? 211 00:10:41,939 --> 00:10:43,232 Sure, we have the ballots. 212 00:10:43,357 --> 00:10:46,771 But we don't have them right here with us now. 213 00:10:48,661 --> 00:10:52,026 Okay, you want me to come in again, we can start over. What the fuck is this? 214 00:10:52,192 --> 00:10:54,340 Alright! Where are the missing ballots?! 215 00:10:54,740 --> 00:10:55,744 President Obama? 216 00:10:56,114 --> 00:10:58,491 Oh, God dammit, Kyle, I was just about to get what I wanted! 217 00:10:58,657 --> 00:11:00,655 Mr. President, we got you re-elected. 218 00:11:00,780 --> 00:11:03,237 Now you will give us the Star Wars technology 219 00:11:03,362 --> 00:11:05,039 so that we can make the sequels! 220 00:11:05,205 --> 00:11:08,465 I told you China would get the rights to Star Wars from Disney 221 00:11:08,590 --> 00:11:10,814 as long as my presidency was secure. 222 00:11:10,939 --> 00:11:13,380 Until I have those ballots it is not secure. 223 00:11:13,505 --> 00:11:16,738 Wait a minute. The rights to "Star Wars," the movies? 224 00:11:16,863 --> 00:11:18,249 What the hell is going on here? 225 00:11:18,374 --> 00:11:22,010 What's going on is the sale of America's greatest asset. 226 00:11:23,544 --> 00:11:26,833 You see, when the United States created Star Wars 227 00:11:26,958 --> 00:11:29,619 it made this country incredibly powerful. 228 00:11:30,134 --> 00:11:31,524 Morgan Freeman? 229 00:11:31,931 --> 00:11:36,215 Earlier this week, Lucas signed the rights to Star Wars over to Disney, 230 00:11:36,340 --> 00:11:39,595 and the Chinese saw a way to obtain it for themselves. 231 00:11:39,720 --> 00:11:42,917 The Chinese government knew that President Obama would help them 232 00:11:43,042 --> 00:11:46,414 take the rights from Disney if they helped him get re-elected. 233 00:11:47,064 --> 00:11:48,065 Oh. 234 00:11:48,540 --> 00:11:51,638 But the child who actually stole the ballots has hidden them 235 00:11:51,763 --> 00:11:54,975 and won't give them to anyone until his demands are met. 236 00:11:55,766 --> 00:11:58,113 You've all got quite a mess on your hands. 237 00:11:58,427 --> 00:12:00,134 I wish you well with it. 238 00:12:01,888 --> 00:12:03,306 Just one thing Morgan Freeman. 239 00:12:04,028 --> 00:12:06,893 How come every time something convoluted needs explaining, you show up? 240 00:12:07,059 --> 00:12:11,064 Because every time I show up and explain something, I earn a freckle. 241 00:12:16,401 --> 00:12:18,696 So here's the deal, General Tsao. Mr. President. 242 00:12:18,862 --> 00:12:20,507 When the Chinese make the sequels, 243 00:12:20,896 --> 00:12:23,188 I get to play the part of Luke Skywalker's son. 244 00:12:23,439 --> 00:12:25,078 Cartman Skywalker. 245 00:12:25,244 --> 00:12:28,665 That was not the deal! We will not be bullied by you! 246 00:12:28,831 --> 00:12:32,921 Well, then I guess we're about to play a game of chicken, General Tsao. 247 00:12:37,316 --> 00:12:40,090 I get it. General Tsao's ch-chi-chicken. 248 00:12:40,843 --> 00:12:42,876 You are absolutely sure about this? 249 00:12:43,001 --> 00:12:46,441 It's been confirmed, Mike. My God, we may have won this thing. 250 00:12:47,477 --> 00:12:48,377 Sir? 251 00:12:48,502 --> 00:12:51,062 Sir, we have some incredible news. 252 00:12:51,228 --> 00:12:54,280 There are rumors of hundreds of thousands of stolen ballots. 253 00:12:54,405 --> 00:12:56,752 You might have won the election after all 254 00:13:03,343 --> 00:13:04,649 There's nothing here, Kyle. 255 00:13:04,774 --> 00:13:06,160 Anything in the basement, Jimmy? 256 00:13:06,326 --> 00:13:08,588 Just old junk and boxes of Eric's mom's dildos. 257 00:13:08,713 --> 00:13:09,664 Well, keep looking! 258 00:13:10,802 --> 00:13:12,710 Oh, my goodness, what's going on? 259 00:13:12,835 --> 00:13:13,585 Sorry, Ms. Cartman, 260 00:13:13,710 --> 00:13:15,581 but your son took some things that didn't belong to him. 261 00:13:15,706 --> 00:13:19,164 I've told him to respect people's property. What did he take? 262 00:13:19,289 --> 00:13:20,567 He stole ballots in all the swing states 263 00:13:20,692 --> 00:13:22,073 so the wrong person was elected president. 264 00:13:22,198 --> 00:13:24,948 Oh, well, no TV for him for a few days. 265 00:13:25,579 --> 00:13:28,808 There's nothing here, Kyle. Not even one Scooby clue. 266 00:13:28,974 --> 00:13:30,949 Oh, my God, you guys! Look! 267 00:13:34,299 --> 00:13:36,232 Dude, it's Boba Fett's ship! 268 00:13:49,331 --> 00:13:51,664 Just what the Dickens is going on here, ha ha? 269 00:13:51,830 --> 00:13:53,374 Oh shit, it's him again. 270 00:13:53,540 --> 00:13:55,815 What's this about a deal with the Chinese?! 271 00:13:55,940 --> 00:13:58,003 I own all this shit now! 272 00:13:58,128 --> 00:14:02,566 I own the death star, I own Tatooine, it's all mine. 273 00:14:03,795 --> 00:14:04,899 Alright, fuckers. 274 00:14:05,024 --> 00:14:06,870 Where are the missing ballots? 275 00:14:10,849 --> 00:14:11,850 Butters. 276 00:14:13,101 --> 00:14:15,342 You just couldn't keep your mouth shut, could you, Butters? 277 00:14:15,467 --> 00:14:17,732 I didn't say anything! I promise. 278 00:14:18,132 --> 00:14:20,985 I guess we learned that when it comes to Star Wars we can't trust anyone. 279 00:14:21,151 --> 00:14:24,238 Not the president, not the Chinese. And not you. 280 00:14:24,404 --> 00:14:27,074 Please, Eric! I tried to be quiet, I swear! 281 00:14:27,323 --> 00:14:28,785 Shhhh, it's okay, Butters. 282 00:14:29,162 --> 00:14:31,140 Nobody's going to find the election ballots. 283 00:14:31,265 --> 00:14:34,683 I have them hidden away, somewhere nobody would ever look. 284 00:14:36,243 --> 00:14:39,143 A place in town people barely even know exists. 285 00:14:43,102 --> 00:14:46,093 Hey, guys! Lookin' to buy a Hummer today? 286 00:14:46,663 --> 00:14:50,389 We're having a Rocktober sales event that's goin' into Rockvember. 287 00:14:55,746 --> 00:14:56,776 Hey, there! 288 00:14:56,901 --> 00:14:59,148 Interested in test driving a Hummer today? 289 00:15:00,089 --> 00:15:03,686 I can see you... the Ray Bans, got that nice bicep hanging out 290 00:15:03,811 --> 00:15:05,863 the window rolled down. What do you think? 291 00:15:09,839 --> 00:15:15,164 Rockvember sales event, guys! Every Hummer comes with a free Segway. 292 00:15:16,007 --> 00:15:17,701 Hey, why don't you shut up? 293 00:15:18,291 --> 00:15:20,784 Just excited about these deals, that's all. 294 00:15:35,930 --> 00:15:39,438 We found him, sir. But still no sign of the missing ballots. 295 00:15:39,604 --> 00:15:41,774 Go on, leave us alone. 296 00:15:43,547 --> 00:15:44,929 Now listen, little boy, 297 00:15:45,054 --> 00:15:49,046 the reason this country works is because people go out and vote. 298 00:15:49,351 --> 00:15:52,038 - Every vote counts, and... - Cut the crap, Mouse. 299 00:15:52,163 --> 00:15:53,900 You only care about the election results because 300 00:15:54,025 --> 00:15:55,788 Romney would have been tougher on the Chinese. 301 00:15:55,954 --> 00:15:58,451 Why don't you just tell me where the missing ballots are? 302 00:15:58,576 --> 00:16:01,225 It'll make your death a lot less painful, ha, ha. 303 00:16:01,466 --> 00:16:04,566 Trust me, they're somewhere nobody will ever find them. 304 00:16:05,386 --> 00:16:07,746 If you kill me then Obama will stay president and you'll lose 305 00:16:07,871 --> 00:16:09,634 Star Wars to the Chinese forever. 306 00:16:14,101 --> 00:16:16,963 Pretty neat, huh? How would you like to have one? 307 00:16:17,880 --> 00:16:20,655 I can get those at Kmart. If you want me to switch sides 308 00:16:20,780 --> 00:16:22,648 you'll have to do better than that. 309 00:16:23,479 --> 00:16:26,391 - Like what? - I want a part in the new movies. 310 00:16:26,861 --> 00:16:29,911 Well, then, why didn't you just come to me in the first place? 311 00:16:30,036 --> 00:16:33,075 If you wanna be in the next Star Wars, I'm your guy. 312 00:16:33,577 --> 00:16:35,196 I get to be Luke Skywalker's son. 313 00:16:35,321 --> 00:16:37,496 And there has to be a character called Jewbacca! 314 00:16:37,662 --> 00:16:39,910 You can be Luke's son, you can be Han Solo's son, 315 00:16:40,035 --> 00:16:41,959 I don't give two shits in a ****. 316 00:16:42,125 --> 00:16:42,673 Really? 317 00:16:42,798 --> 00:16:45,227 Well, then, I suppose that making the votes public 318 00:16:45,352 --> 00:16:46,720 is the right thing to do. 319 00:16:46,845 --> 00:16:48,252 I can get the ballots for you. 320 00:16:48,490 --> 00:16:51,465 But if I'm gonna smuggle them here, I'm gonna need a blaster and a Tonton. 321 00:16:51,709 --> 00:16:55,161 Sure thing! I got a Tonton coming up my asshole. Haha. 322 00:16:55,286 --> 00:16:56,592 - Haha! - Haha! 323 00:16:56,717 --> 00:16:57,370 Hehe. 324 00:16:58,651 --> 00:17:01,024 This is Breaking Election News! 325 00:17:01,353 --> 00:17:02,618 Hold that phone! 326 00:17:02,743 --> 00:17:05,580 The election may be over, but rumors are running rampant 327 00:17:05,705 --> 00:17:09,153 that hundreds of thousands of ballots for Mitt Romney were stolen. 328 00:17:09,319 --> 00:17:12,153 We need everyone's help here. What you're looking for are big 329 00:17:12,278 --> 00:17:13,689 boxes of ballots, hundreds of them. 330 00:17:13,814 --> 00:17:15,548 Please check your basements, your attics. 331 00:17:15,673 --> 00:17:22,003 And you claim that a General Tsao hired your friend Fat Ass to steal the ballots. 332 00:17:22,128 --> 00:17:24,848 But so far the Chinese are refusing to speak with us. 333 00:17:24,973 --> 00:17:27,245 Yeah, well, probably because General Tsao's chicken. 334 00:17:29,454 --> 00:17:31,092 Is that it? Did he just... did he just... 335 00:17:31,258 --> 00:17:34,261 Yes, Chris we are getting confirmation that was the millionth time! 336 00:17:34,427 --> 00:17:37,853 Excitement and revelry in South Park as a little boy has just 337 00:17:37,978 --> 00:17:41,514 made the General Tsao's chicken joke for the one millionth time! 338 00:17:41,639 --> 00:17:43,798 - What? - Little boy, the General Tsao's chicken joke, 339 00:17:43,923 --> 00:17:47,269 a favorite for years, you've just hit the magic number how's it feel? 340 00:17:48,157 --> 00:17:49,864 I... what? 341 00:17:50,630 --> 00:17:52,308 He's being presented the check now. 342 00:17:52,433 --> 00:17:55,116 A five thousand dollar gift certificate to PF Chang's. 343 00:17:55,657 --> 00:17:58,922 This has been a long campaign but someone's finally done it, wolf. 344 00:18:01,690 --> 00:18:03,322 Well, we tried dude. 345 00:18:04,084 --> 00:18:06,002 It just seems so unfair. 346 00:18:06,168 --> 00:18:09,069 People won't ever even know that the wrong man is in the White House. 347 00:18:09,751 --> 00:18:11,359 Well, I mean, look at it this way. 348 00:18:11,484 --> 00:18:13,878 Almost half the country did actually vote for Obama. 349 00:18:14,003 --> 00:18:16,630 If the election really just came down to a bunch of boxes Cartman stole, 350 00:18:16,755 --> 00:18:18,274 then, does it matter that much? 351 00:18:18,399 --> 00:18:20,746 It matters, Stan. It matters. 352 00:18:24,352 --> 00:18:26,390 Come on down to Stephenson Hammer 353 00:18:26,515 --> 00:18:29,358 for our big Christmas in Humvember sale! 354 00:18:29,524 --> 00:18:32,028 Not sure what to get your loved one this holiday season? 355 00:18:32,194 --> 00:18:33,962 Why not give them a nice Hummer? 356 00:18:34,087 --> 00:18:36,532 Nothing beats a Hummer on Christmas morning! 357 00:18:37,853 --> 00:18:41,098 Stan... when's the last time you saw somebody drive a Hummer? 358 00:18:41,692 --> 00:18:44,541 Uh, forever ago. Like 2010. 359 00:18:45,332 --> 00:18:46,542 Oh my God. 360 00:18:48,721 --> 00:18:51,297 Hey! Looking for a Hummer today? 361 00:18:51,463 --> 00:18:53,470 Got some 2009s here. 362 00:18:53,843 --> 00:18:57,421 Never been driven... ever. 363 00:19:00,222 --> 00:19:01,562 Go on, get outta here. Shoo! 364 00:19:02,138 --> 00:19:05,102 - Look! There they are! - Hey! Hi there! 365 00:19:05,643 --> 00:19:08,625 You kids like hummers, huh? Lemme show you these babies! 366 00:19:08,750 --> 00:19:10,333 We found it, you guys! 367 00:19:11,050 --> 00:19:12,485 Oh, no! They followed us! 368 00:19:16,696 --> 00:19:19,867 Oh hell yes! Asians! Hey guys! 369 00:19:20,274 --> 00:19:22,203 - Get out of our way. - No! 370 00:19:22,369 --> 00:19:24,997 These don't belong to you. They belong to the people! 371 00:19:25,932 --> 00:19:29,651 I am tired of playing games! This little farce is over! 372 00:19:31,811 --> 00:19:35,351 I don't think so, General Tsao. This way, Officers!! 373 00:19:40,011 --> 00:19:41,764 Oh my God, it's a sales rush! 374 00:19:42,598 --> 00:19:43,432 Oh my God. 375 00:19:44,766 --> 00:19:46,769 Are those what I think they are? 376 00:19:46,935 --> 00:19:50,481 Yes, we must show these to the public for democracy's sake! Right, Kyle? 377 00:19:50,647 --> 00:19:54,944 Sir, we found something. At the Hummer sales lot outside of town. 378 00:19:55,235 --> 00:19:56,706 You don't understand! 379 00:19:57,011 --> 00:20:00,616 We are trying to protect the greatest film series ever made! 380 00:20:00,925 --> 00:20:01,951 Protect it? 381 00:20:02,117 --> 00:20:03,900 What the hell is going on here? 382 00:20:04,025 --> 00:20:06,455 Perhaps I can explain it to you. 383 00:20:10,213 --> 00:20:12,088 You see, it turns out 384 00:20:12,213 --> 00:20:16,193 the only reason the Chinese so desperately wanted Star Wars 385 00:20:16,618 --> 00:20:21,254 is because they're afraid that Disney might not be the right place for it. 386 00:20:21,794 --> 00:20:26,851 The Chinese simply want to guard Star Wars' impeccable legacy. 387 00:20:27,551 --> 00:20:28,811 Is that Morgan Freeman? 388 00:20:28,977 --> 00:20:30,950 And now we are at a crossroads. 389 00:20:31,075 --> 00:20:32,853 If these ballots are made public 390 00:20:32,978 --> 00:20:36,435 then the man that people voted for will be president, 391 00:20:36,560 --> 00:20:40,186 but he will no doubt keep Star Wars from the Chinese 392 00:20:40,508 --> 00:20:42,780 and allow Disney to keep it instead. 393 00:20:43,533 --> 00:20:45,893 And so we have to ask ourselves: 394 00:20:46,018 --> 00:20:47,386 What's more important? 395 00:20:47,863 --> 00:20:50,273 That the right man is elected president, 396 00:20:50,640 --> 00:20:54,318 or that Star Wars is with people who will protect it most? 397 00:21:02,466 --> 00:21:04,983 Unit four, what is it? Over? 398 00:21:05,108 --> 00:21:06,393 Well, kid? 399 00:21:06,518 --> 00:21:09,393 Well, if you put it that way. 400 00:21:09,559 --> 00:21:12,988 Come in! Unit four, come in! What have you found? 401 00:21:14,018 --> 00:21:15,198 Nothing, sir. 402 00:21:15,323 --> 00:21:18,594 We just found some tremendous deals on cars nobody wants, that's all. 403 00:21:18,719 --> 00:21:19,653 Barkley, out. 404 00:21:23,573 --> 00:21:26,785 No! But Obama wasn't really elected. Don't you people care?! 405 00:21:38,378 --> 00:21:41,634 Sync and correction by Mlmlte www.addic7ed.com 30290

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.