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7 DAYS EARLIER
IN TRIBUTE TO MORRIS AND GOSCINNY
Evil has struck our peaceful little town of Albuquerque.
Charlie Willow, a devout schoolteacher and a pillar of our community,
has been kidnapped under terrible circumstances.
Who did this? Why did they do this?
How did they do this?
I promise every one of these questions will be answered.
You can count on me, fellow citizens.
As Governor of New Mexico, I am at your service, as always,
and at the service of justice.
Signed, Elizabeth Zee.
"Elizabeth" with a "Z," and "Zee" with a "Z."
As always, I remain...
Oh, okay. You're not finished.
...the protector of the tired and oppressed of this nation.
Okay. Send it to the Borderland Herald. Front page only.
I said to be discreet and meticulous.
She fought back.
So what? You better fix this, Lieutenant,
or else this whole thing will blow up in our face
in a very non-meticulous way.
Our project's final date is in 13 days.
Before then, it is crucial
that you and your men capture and question the schoolteacher.
I need to know what she knows, who she's working with.
Speaking of which,
have you identified the third person living here?
The third?
Her name is Louise.
And based on her book, she can't be older than 18.
Your target list just got longer, Lieutenant.
So throw that adobe in a mass grave and start your search.
Okay. I got it all.
Uh, so, for "adobe,"
should I put that in quotes?
Given the fact that it's a bit racist,
and we're not talking about pottery.
Are you still taking notes? That's not for the paper.
-What we're doing is illegal. -Oh.
Okay. So where should I stop?
7 DAYS LATER
...so now, then.
Welcome to FINAL CREEK
What?
Can't a guy change his mind?
Haven't spotted her horse.
Hope she didn't skip out of town.
Guess not.
CHAPTER II ON CHARLIE'S TRAIL
What happened with her?
Her?
She's dangerous, to herself and the people around her.
-Did she try to run away? -Yeah, four times.
But she's no good at it.
This time, she hid in the middle of a herd of cows.
She was even mooing.
She was almost trampled to death.
So I had no choice. I had to cuff her.
She's uncontrollable.
Another hour with her and I was a goner.
And I survived two Mexican Revolutions, I'll have you know.
Go rest, my friend.
I'll get her under control.
Hey! No one controls me.
No one.
Okay.
You're real lucky I'm tied up.
Or else I'd knock your teeth out.
Knock your lights out.
Knock your horse out.
You don't know who you're messing with.
You don't know where I'm from.
Albuquerque?
I don't mean literally.
Sure you don't want me to untie you?
I don't want your help.
-That's not what you said yesterday. -Yeah, well, I changed my mind.
You think I'm gonna sit here waiting for your help all day?
I don't need you.
You don't know the Wild West.
The Wild West doesn't know me, okay?
You still good?
- Staying tied up? - I'm not hungry.
-Plus, there are no veggies. -Wrong. It's got red beans.
-Yeah, but it's a legume. -It grows in the dirt, right?
It's a vegetable.
So...
Let's get back to your case.
Tell me about Charlie.
-Hmm? -How'd you know my mom's name is Charlie?
-You said so. -Mmm. But I didn't.
-You did. -Nope.
Yeah, you did. Yesterday you said,
"We have to go save my mom whose name is Charlie."
That so doesn't sound like me.
Whatever. Back to the case. You said your dad wasn't around.
-So I guess there's no, uh-- -No?
No childhood sweetheart or companion. No banjo player.
-What does that have to do with anything? -She could've gone to them for help.
No.
The only man in our lives was Toukoum.
-Is he a native? -Yeah.
But that's not his real name.
I nicknamed him Toukoum, 'cause I "took him" as my grandpa.
But his real name is Broken-Wing.
I waited for my mom all night.
In the early morning, I noticed an opening behind the shelf.
And I found this behind the bookcase.
You found Charlie's gun in that bag?
How'd you know?
That's the kind of bag you keep to run away.
Run away from what? She's a teacher.
What else is in it?
Some bullets, a bunch of matches, uh, a knife.
I mean, it's still a lady's travel bag,
so I'll spare you the perfume, lipstick, headscarf.
But the most surprising thing in here...
is a sheriff's star.
I found that in front of the house the other day.
What's weird is those birds don't leave here.
Coragyps atratus.
- The black vultures. - Okay.
And how do you know all that?
Charlie overprotected me. My only friends were my books.
Well, you ought to thank her.
Because now we have a lead.
We're going to Mafia Town.
The feather you found belongs to a fence who lives here.
"Scavenger Mary"?
Yeah. She's just like a vulture with feathers in her top hat.
But Toukoum.
-Do you think she-- -No. She's not a killer.
But she might've seen who did it.
Hang on, Missy. So, listen.
We're gonna question her, but we'll do it my way.
Calmly, discreetly, and by staying out of trouble.
My hand's not fully healed.
-Okay? -Hmm.
MARY THE CARRION'S MARKET
"Foreclosure notice. Doug Dogson Bank"?
What is this?
A notice that the bank now owns her store.
What it means is that--
-The scavenger's in jail. -For fencing?
No. Living in debt.
-We have to talk to her. -Hey.
It's $100 to see her.
That's the price of a horse.
Those are the sheriff's orders.
-That's robbery. -I'd be careful, girl.
'Cause insulting a sheriff's deputy is $200.
Don't mind her. We'll go see the sheriff.
You'll find him in the saloon. Ask for Doug Dogson.
-The banker? -The banker,
the sheriff, and the saloon manager.
Okay. Thank you.
Hey, come on.
Hang on. You're gonna let him boss us around?
I don't want things to go sideways, given the symbol on his neck.
What is it? A tattoo? A scar?
He was branded with an iron. Just like cattle
Hello, we're looking for Doug Dogson.
Well, then, look no further.
But I'm warning you,
if you're from the Health Department, everything here is spotless.
Perfectly legal, and sheriff-approved.
I bet it is, given the number of deputies who help you enforce the law.
That's a nice collection.
Ah, those.
FORECLOSURE NOTICE
Those are my pride and joy.
Some people display their diplomas, I show my foreclosures.
Mr. Dogson's a humanitarian.
An educated investor.
Oh, and let's not forget to mention his good looks.
Are they as good as his whiskey?
Five dollars a shot? That's four too many, right?
You, what do you think?
Oh, well... Well, you know better than me.
Exactly.
Well, then, a round of $10 shots for everyone.
Paid for by you.
Me?
Yes, with pleasure, sir. Of course.
Here's to Doug Dogson.
You know, before he got here, this town was financially ruined
because of all the bank robberies.
In total, we lost $2,130.
Ah-ha, let me guess, Dogson shows up with $2,130
and opens up a new bank.
Hey, how did you know that?
Hey, blabbermouth,
stop your chattering.
-You're disturbing the customers. -Hey.
Don't worry about it.
It's such an honor to be strangled by a man
- who's so successful. - I think he got your point.
And I think he's willing to pay me good money to keep on going.
Isn't that right?
For that much, he can swallow his tongue.
For that much, let go of him.
It's gonna take more than that to stop the long arm of the law.
Like, for instance, your shiny Colt that you're just itching to use.
You know, both your belts are pretty nice, too.
We have to go see the mayor.
If anyone can restore authority in this town, he can.
Hey, Louise, you listening?
WANTED LOUISE WILLOW DEAD OR ALIVE
Yeah. The mayor, town authority and all that.
-Okay. Let's go. -No, I think I'm gonna stay here.
Because... Because, well, if we leave the horses alone...
given what's going on, I bet they'll get impounded.
- Okay. - Mmm-hmm.
-You stay put. -Yep. Promise.
I'll just be here if I'm wanted.
I mean, needed. Why wanted? 'Cause wanted can mean
so many different things to all sorts of people.
Huh.
Mr. Mayor, you're the only one who can unite the citizens.
Yeah, yeah, I know.
Help them defend themselves against Dogson and his swindling methods.
It's all legal. That's the catch.
They were broke. The only bank in town
dishing out loans, charging sky-high interest rates.
As a result, he made all the indebted vendors go bankrupt.
He bought their stores for a dollar,
so he owns everything and controls the prices.
And those who don't pay go to jail.
But if he hadn't robbed the bank, no one would be broke.
Yes, I know, but we've never been able to prove it.
And since the current sheriff won't investigate himself...
You're right, this won't be simple.
But now, Mr. Mayor, we better get going.
My thoughts exactly.
-Hang on. You're not leaving, are you? -Of course not. Heaven forbid.
EARLY ELECTIONS VOTE DOGSON
Don't you dare move.
That's right.
Surprise.
Hell, I don't know what's keeping me from...
from putting a hole in--
You got a .38 behind your head...
...and another one in your back.
Your turn.
Who are you?
Billy the Kid?
Luke?
Ah, dang it! I was fooled by the bottle trick again.
What are you doing here?
-Nothing bad. -Nothing bad?
-You almost killed my-- -Fellow partner.
-Trainee, you mean. -Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
I wasn't gonna pop her.
She's my wife.
-What? -Well, yeah.
Mrs. the Kid.
JUST MARRIED
You got married to Billy the Kid.
-Yeah, real quick. -Whoa.
I was looking for my mom. I had no horse. I was in a hurry.
I ran into him in a small town. Didn't know who he was.
So when I saw that he liked me, I said, "Hey, let's get married."
He said, "Okay, let's get married." So we got married.
He got really drunk to celebrate. And I took off with his horse.
-That seems normal. -No, it's fine.
-This happens. -What are you talking about?
-You saying this doesn't? -You don't...
-You're right. -Yeah.
Kind of. But that's not even the problem.
The problem is he's the worst desperado in history.
No need to worry about that, Luke.
I'm not the worst.
And not a desperado either.
I was a child star, but now,
I'm nothing.
What happened to you?
Puberty, man.
It messed me up good.
The acne, the groin pains, and zero muscle mass.
I sounded like a bullfrog.
No one recognized me anymore.
I was no longer the Kid.
Just Billy.
So, just now, when you said my full name...
I almost cried.
I've... I've been doubting myself lately.
I have asthma and a bunch of other weird stuff.
I was released for good behavior.
And I fell in love.
And then I filed a complaint for the horse.
I filed a complaint.
It's time.
First Dogson, then Scavenger Mary.
You two stay here.
Luke.
Luke, where are you going?
I'm gonna run for mayor.
We'll need everybody to beat him.
That's how we'll get Mary out of jail.
Why don't we just shoot 'em all?
Hey, my mom's in danger.
Do you wanna save her or not?
Do you? Do you wanna save her?
When you provoke people, when you steal things,
when you act before thinking?
The truth is you're not trying to save her.
You're pretending to be a cowboy.
So let me do what I have to do,
and you, you listen to me,
and you find a way to get rid of him.
Citizens, today is a great day for our beautiful democracy
to fully and freely express itself.
Let us rejoice in this wonderful opportunity you've been given
to anonymously cast your vote for me.
However, should anyone wish to initiate a debate,
they may come forward and join me on stage.
I'd like to initiate a debate.
And I think I'll initiate it from right here.
Go ahead.
-Citizens of-- -Speak up, sir. We can't hear you.
But please, continue.
-Citizens of... Of Maf-- -And citizenesses!
That's right, of Mafia Town. Exactly.
Go on.
Billy?
I wanted to tell you that I--
Well, I love you, too.
No, that's not it.
I wanted to say I'm sorry for running off like that.
Oh.
Did you find my note?
"Sorry about the horse.
"Sorry about the wedding."
This is the worst goodbye note ever written.
The thing is, I'm looking for my mom.
She was kidnapped.
I don't even know if she's still alive.
Every second that goes by, she's a step farther from me.
Waiting around makes me wanna scream.
And so I took your horse.
And what does that look like, a mom?
Because I didn't really get to know mine.
I don't know other moms, I only know mine
And mine is...
Billy, wanna go stick up someone with me?
That's a bunch of nonsense.
I'd like to point out that my opponent's speaking time
has almost run out.
Ladies and gentlemen, I only have one thing to--
- One thing to say... - which is--
In the face of such eloquence...
-...let's vote! -No, you can't vote yet.
Step right up and cast your vote for Doug Dogson.
That's right.
Keep moving. Very good. It's democracy in motion.
How's your asthma attack? Is it finished?
Yeah, but I wanted to rob someone not free the competition.
-Okay, let's go on three. One, two-- -Wait, hang on a second.
On three or on 13? 13 is not bad.
-It gives us time-- -What are you two doing?
I told you to stay and get rid of him.
Get rid of who? Let me do that.
What about you. Weren't you supposed to win the election?
- So? - So, change of plans.
How many are there inside?
Hmm?
Move.
Wow, you Lucky-Luked them.
Lucky Luke?
- You're freeing us? - Hi, Mary.
The others are in the back. You take care of her.
We figured if we knocked her out, she'd be easier to carry.
Oh, you mean as opposed to when she's awake and walking?
Hmm?
Hey, it's my first jailbreak.
And Calamity Jane always knocks out the people she kidnaps.
-Mmm-hmm. -Maybe she doesn't need to make them talk.
-Guess she's dead. -No, look, she's breathing.
-You can be dead and be breathing. -Sure.
Okay. And the prisoners, what about them?
They locked themselves in their cell. They're too scared of Dogson.
Okay. So even free, they're not free.
-We have to stop Dogson. -What about my mom?
-The point is to save my mom. -Okay, so what do you wanna do?
- Wanna knock her out again to wake her up? - Mmm.
Okay, Billy...
What?
-Uh, we're gonna need your help. -Yes!
I'm sorry.
Money. Bags.
Two minutes.
Nice. Direct, not too many words, so he can't recognize you, Luke.
Lucky Luke?
-Never heard of him. -Have you become a desperado?
No. But you're becoming annoying.
Everybody stay calm. I'll get the money.
That was a good bank robbery line.
Two thirty-three, 234. 235 out of 235 votes.
Doug Dogson wins by an absolute, absolute majority.
Yay!
Thank you. Thank you very much, my friends.
I would like to applaud my opponent for his vain attempt to...
Where did that little weasel go?
Find him.
Perfect.
Now, keep it loose in the hips.
One, two, three, four--
Would you kindly turn around, Luke?
Real slow.
Would you kindly look in your holster?
You're fast, Luke.
Can I buy you a drink?
A dollar won't even buy you a shot of whiskey here.
Well, the dollar's not to buy you a drink, it's to buy your bar.
Hey, did you guys hear what he just said?
Yeah, I might be a bit short, but that's normal.
'Cause I bought your horses, all your weapons, and all your men.
I even bought new teeth for one of 'em.
You're all alone, Doug.
And where did you find the money for this?
I went to your bank.
Like he said. We bought all your weapons.
I'll report you to the county, to the state, to the Supreme Court.
You're a bunch of crooks!
You're thieves.
You're a bunch of crooks!
Come and get your foreclosures!
Thank you.
Wait, what?
You're welcome.
I mean, it's kind of... It's new to me to hear that.
I like it.
He's right. Thank you.
No, wait. Don't let go.
Oh. I wanna thank you, too.
You don't like thank you too much, do you?
I usually leave before that.
We're already late. Let's go.
-The three of us? -No way.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. We're not taking him with us.
Look how cute he is. There, all by his lonesome.
Under one condition. You're responsible for him.
-You won't even notice him. -I won't feed him.
-I won't clean up after him. -Mmm-hmm.
It's funny. It sounds like you're talking about a puppy.
-Pardon? -Hey, I don't mind at all.
I'm flattered.
Thanks for getting me out of jail.
But as for your claim, I'm sure it's some kind of judicial error.
That bracelet belongs to my mom.
-Huh. -You stole it from her.
No, I found the beads on the ground.
On top of it, the string is mine, you know.
I found your feather on my front porch.
Mary?
Okay, you're right.
I was scavenging in the area.
I heard a gunshot and yelling, and by the time I got there,
I saw a stagecoach pulling away with a woman bound inside.
That's when I saw the bead on the porch.
You didn't go into the house?
No, 'cause there was a trail of beads on the road.
She was dropping them to be rescued.
Well, I was doing my job as an outlaw
and followed them all the way to the frickin' boonies.
But that's where I saw the stagecoach again.
It was stopped. Halted.
-That's a good thing, right? -Eh, it's not that great, really.
-A gang of bandits was robbing it. -Which bandits?
They were dressed in yellow and black,
and they were four.
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