All language subtitles for Crap.Happens.S01E01.1080p.WEB.h264-EDITH

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (SoranĂ®)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:11,083 --> 00:00:12,958 For as long as he can remember, 2 00:00:13,041 --> 00:00:16,416 Toni Fleischer's only goal was to make it big. 3 00:00:16,500 --> 00:00:20,458 As I hold it down tonight Never uptight 4 00:00:20,541 --> 00:00:24,166 Letting loose on the mic Speaking the frequency pleasingly 5 00:00:24,250 --> 00:00:26,166 Keeping me smoother than ice 6 00:00:26,250 --> 00:00:29,958 You won't be believin' your eyes Giving you nothing but vibes 7 00:00:30,041 --> 00:00:31,583 Keeping it moving tonight 8 00:00:31,666 --> 00:00:33,500 Tight on the mic every day of my life 9 00:00:33,583 --> 00:00:34,625 Yummy! 10 00:00:34,708 --> 00:00:36,333 I was on 'shrooms You smelled the fumes 11 00:00:36,416 --> 00:00:39,750 But after 18 years in Berlin, he's still just making pizza, 12 00:00:39,833 --> 00:00:41,000 not hits. 13 00:00:42,583 --> 00:00:45,291 The talent was there, but he was just one of those people 14 00:00:45,375 --> 00:00:47,875 who was never in the right place at the right time. 15 00:00:49,458 --> 00:00:50,625 His only two fans were 16 00:00:50,708 --> 00:00:53,500 a dead-eyed jar of sourdough he called Susi, 17 00:00:53,583 --> 00:00:55,833 and the owner of the pizza shop, Pipo, 18 00:00:55,916 --> 00:01:00,375 who believed in Toni so much he let him live in the restaurant's basement, 19 00:01:00,458 --> 00:01:02,708 something Toni was forever grateful for. 20 00:01:02,791 --> 00:01:04,875 Thanks again for letting me crash here. 21 00:01:04,958 --> 00:01:07,958 Pfft. Yeah, dude, you know, mi casa es su casa. 22 00:01:08,041 --> 00:01:09,916 Pipo helped Toni any chance he got. 23 00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:11,291 Your good luck charm for tonight. 24 00:01:11,916 --> 00:01:13,333 Sometimes with moral support… 25 00:01:13,416 --> 00:01:14,916 Um, thanks, bro. 26 00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:16,333 …but mostly with pizza. 27 00:01:19,583 --> 00:01:22,416 Toni's day started out like any other. 28 00:01:22,500 --> 00:01:25,333 Oh. The usual? 29 00:01:25,416 --> 00:01:27,791 Fried chicken banana, 19.95, please. 30 00:01:29,291 --> 00:01:30,416 Thank you. 31 00:01:38,833 --> 00:01:40,250 Today, like every day, 32 00:01:40,333 --> 00:01:43,083 he was reminded that he wasn't living the life he'd dreamed of. 33 00:01:43,166 --> 00:01:44,833 Your pizza's absolute shit. 34 00:01:46,791 --> 00:01:48,458 See you tomorrow, Birgit. 35 00:01:48,541 --> 00:01:50,375 See you tomorrow. 36 00:01:51,375 --> 00:01:54,125 And right at that moment, 37 00:01:54,208 --> 00:01:56,583 as he was doubting everything yet again, 38 00:01:56,666 --> 00:01:59,333 his mother, at her towing company far away… 39 00:02:00,375 --> 00:02:03,458 …got a call that would change Toni's life forever. 40 00:02:03,541 --> 00:02:05,583 Twenty-four-hour towing service. Fleischer. 41 00:02:09,375 --> 00:02:11,833 What'd you say? A duck stuck up a tree? 42 00:02:13,708 --> 00:02:14,916 I'll be there soon. 43 00:02:15,791 --> 00:02:18,416 Wera Fleischer, Toni's mom, 44 00:02:18,500 --> 00:02:21,208 was a six-time East German discus throwing champion. 45 00:02:21,291 --> 00:02:23,916 She wasn't exactly thrilled about Toni's life choices. 46 00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:26,208 What mom would be happy 47 00:02:26,291 --> 00:02:29,791 her nearly 40-year-old son is still trying to be a rapper? 48 00:02:31,375 --> 00:02:36,291 Unlike Toni, Wera liked the rural charm of her hometown, Schitten-on-Havel. 49 00:02:39,458 --> 00:02:40,875 Come down now, Günther. 50 00:02:40,958 --> 00:02:43,041 Mostly because of the ducks. 51 00:02:43,125 --> 00:02:46,458 Fine, I'll help you. But this is the last time, okay? 52 00:02:47,166 --> 00:02:50,375 Toni had been warning his mom not to climb trees since he was a kid. 53 00:02:52,166 --> 00:02:54,041 Come here. 54 00:02:56,500 --> 00:02:57,583 Shit. 55 00:03:09,333 --> 00:03:12,000 Meanwhile, in Berlin, Toni had no idea 56 00:03:12,083 --> 00:03:14,708 about the bizarre accident his mother just had. 57 00:03:14,791 --> 00:03:16,791 Besides, he had other concerns. 58 00:03:16,875 --> 00:03:21,583 He had a big gig coming up that night, and the poor guy was really nervous. 59 00:03:21,666 --> 00:03:24,291 -How are you, bro? You nervous? -Nah. 60 00:03:24,375 --> 00:03:26,208 Really, really nervous. 61 00:03:26,291 --> 00:03:29,166 -Are… are you sure? -Maybe a little. 62 00:03:29,250 --> 00:03:31,250 Sure he was, because it was Thursday, 63 00:03:31,333 --> 00:03:34,500 which, like every damn Thursday, meant the same thing… 64 00:03:34,583 --> 00:03:37,916 Welcome, welcome, welcome to Rap on Thursday! 65 00:03:40,416 --> 00:03:43,375 Rap on Thursday was the largest event of its kind in Berlin 66 00:03:43,458 --> 00:03:45,000 for anyone looking to make it big. 67 00:03:45,083 --> 00:03:48,250 Dude, they're, like, way younger than you. 68 00:03:48,333 --> 00:03:51,041 And cooler. They even smell better. 69 00:03:51,125 --> 00:03:52,875 I knew inviting you was a mistake. 70 00:03:52,958 --> 00:03:57,666 You know the rules. Mano a mano, one on one. 71 00:03:57,750 --> 00:04:00,333 No pre-written shit, just freestyle. 72 00:04:01,333 --> 00:04:04,541 Berlin's freshest rappers are here tonight to make their name. 73 00:04:04,625 --> 00:04:06,416 Give it up for the new generation! 74 00:04:11,083 --> 00:04:13,083 And the not-so-new generation. 75 00:04:15,375 --> 00:04:18,166 -I think she means you, bro. -No shit, Pipo. 76 00:04:18,250 --> 00:04:19,416 'Cause you're super old. 77 00:04:21,166 --> 00:04:23,166 MC CRICKET CHIRPIN' EXT. REMIX 78 00:04:29,375 --> 00:04:33,125 NANCY (BIG SISTER THAT I DON'T GET ALONG WITH) 79 00:04:33,208 --> 00:04:34,541 Sorry, bro, I gotta take this. 80 00:04:34,625 --> 00:04:36,500 -You're up soon. -Just a sec. 81 00:04:37,916 --> 00:04:40,458 -Yeah? -You said you'd call me back. 82 00:04:40,541 --> 00:04:42,333 Yeah. Sorry, I've been busy, okay? 83 00:04:42,416 --> 00:04:45,375 -That was nine months ago. -Nancy, I'm about to go on stage. 84 00:04:45,458 --> 00:04:46,791 Mom died today. 85 00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:49,666 What? How? 86 00:04:49,750 --> 00:04:51,458 The way she always wanted. 87 00:04:52,416 --> 00:04:53,875 Rescuing a duck from up a tree? 88 00:04:53,958 --> 00:04:56,250 Yeah, rescuing a duck from up a tree. 89 00:04:58,750 --> 00:05:01,375 Then got struck by lightning. 90 00:05:01,458 --> 00:05:05,958 I'm sure you're busy with your rap thing, but you have to come to the funeral. 91 00:05:06,041 --> 00:05:08,291 And for our first battle, here's Svenni 92 00:05:08,375 --> 00:05:13,416 from Dolph Lundgren High School in Bottrop-Ekel! 93 00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:17,083 -Yeah, Dolph! -Let's go! Let's go! 94 00:05:17,750 --> 00:05:19,375 Versus Toni! 95 00:05:20,333 --> 00:05:24,250 -Are we clear? -Yeah. Uh, Nancy, I can't talk right now. 96 00:05:27,041 --> 00:05:30,416 Berlin, are you feeling good tonight or what? Yeah! Dope! 97 00:05:30,500 --> 00:05:32,875 Put your hands in the air. Hands up! 98 00:05:33,375 --> 00:05:36,333 Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! 99 00:05:36,416 --> 00:05:38,125 That's right, yeah. 100 00:05:38,708 --> 00:05:41,375 I gotta battle this clown You must be absurd 101 00:05:41,458 --> 00:05:44,000 No style, no swag Just a fat-ass nerd 102 00:05:44,083 --> 00:05:46,666 Look at this loser Standing there like a bitch 103 00:05:46,750 --> 00:05:49,500 While live on stage I give your mother my dick 104 00:05:49,583 --> 00:05:51,458 Ooh! 105 00:05:54,583 --> 00:05:58,708 Oh no, he didn't, man! 106 00:05:59,333 --> 00:06:02,916 Okay, okay, okay. And now, Toni! 107 00:06:04,708 --> 00:06:06,500 -Uh -Give your mother my dick 108 00:06:06,583 --> 00:06:07,916 Mom died today. 109 00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:10,000 Your pizza's absolute shit. 110 00:06:10,083 --> 00:06:11,333 Okay. 111 00:06:15,833 --> 00:06:18,333 Giving my mom some dick? Well, truth be told 112 00:06:18,416 --> 00:06:21,250 You're too late, my mom's dead Her friggin' body is cold 113 00:06:21,833 --> 00:06:23,708 So maybe find someone else To ride your dick 114 00:06:23,791 --> 00:06:26,041 I just got the call With lightning, she was hit 115 00:06:26,125 --> 00:06:27,416 Uh 116 00:06:27,500 --> 00:06:30,375 That's why them jokes ain't lit But Svenni is right 117 00:06:30,458 --> 00:06:31,791 I'm a fat, useless bitch 118 00:06:31,875 --> 00:06:34,666 I always thought that one day I'd be Tupac 119 00:06:34,750 --> 00:06:37,375 But nowadays Everyone's encouraging me to stop 120 00:06:37,458 --> 00:06:40,166 I left my small town To prove that I'm an innovator 121 00:06:40,250 --> 00:06:43,041 It turns out I'm just a corny, phony imitator 122 00:06:43,125 --> 00:06:45,625 When I was young and fresh I used to spit the nicest 123 00:06:45,708 --> 00:06:48,375 I guess I paid the prices Going through midlife crisis 124 00:06:48,458 --> 00:06:50,541 Now we're here Rapping at some weird, weary kid 125 00:06:50,625 --> 00:06:53,416 Myriad of raps Although he's never had his period 126 00:06:53,500 --> 00:06:55,833 My whole life I just knew That I was gonna blow 127 00:06:55,916 --> 00:06:58,708 But when you watch your life go by That ain't the way it goes 128 00:06:58,791 --> 00:07:01,125 All my life I knew I'd be a master rapper 129 00:07:01,208 --> 00:07:04,125 But my résumé just says That I make pizza faster 130 00:07:04,208 --> 00:07:06,333 Believe in me? Not even my moms 131 00:07:06,416 --> 00:07:09,333 Ashamed for ten years I never went home 132 00:07:09,416 --> 00:07:11,375 Shit, man, Mom gave it to me straight 133 00:07:11,458 --> 00:07:14,375 There was no way I would ever make it With the rhymes that I create 134 00:07:14,458 --> 00:07:16,041 But I'm still on it 135 00:07:16,125 --> 00:07:17,250 Realizing that I'm a pawn 136 00:07:17,333 --> 00:07:20,458 Dime a dozen chasing a bullshit dream Until time is gone 137 00:07:20,541 --> 00:07:22,833 Fuck it 'Cause it's too late for that, y'all 138 00:07:23,666 --> 00:07:25,791 I think I should just leave it all 139 00:07:30,333 --> 00:07:31,541 Wow. 140 00:07:33,625 --> 00:07:36,291 Where are you going? 141 00:07:37,083 --> 00:07:38,458 Schitten. 142 00:07:43,583 --> 00:07:45,208 Did he just say "shitting"? 143 00:07:46,416 --> 00:07:48,166 CRAP HAPPENS 144 00:07:53,083 --> 00:07:55,875 Way out in Brandenburg, you'll find Toni's hometown, 145 00:07:55,958 --> 00:07:57,250 Schitten-on-Havel. 146 00:07:57,333 --> 00:08:00,125 Ladies and gentlemen, please have your tickets out. 147 00:08:03,583 --> 00:08:07,416 He hadn't even arrived yet, but all he could think about was one thing… 148 00:08:07,500 --> 00:08:10,458 -When's the return trip to Berlin? -Four weeks. 149 00:08:14,666 --> 00:08:16,000 SCHITTEN CENTRAL STATION 150 00:08:16,083 --> 00:08:20,500 This is the final stop, Schitten-on-Havel. Please exit here, everyone! 151 00:08:26,750 --> 00:08:28,291 NO SIGNAL 152 00:08:43,583 --> 00:08:47,333 Tumbleweeds for sale. Gather round! Sir? Care for some tumbleweeds? 153 00:08:47,416 --> 00:08:51,083 Brandenburg authentic tumbleweeds, artisanally grown. 154 00:08:51,166 --> 00:08:53,333 The origins of the unfortunate name Schitten… 155 00:08:53,416 --> 00:08:54,541 WELCOME TO SCHITTEN-ON-HAVEL 156 00:08:54,625 --> 00:08:55,458 …are lost to history. 157 00:08:55,541 --> 00:08:59,291 But Toni knew this, his hometown truly lived up to its name. 158 00:09:01,083 --> 00:09:04,166 He never felt like he belonged in a town like this, 159 00:09:04,250 --> 00:09:08,083 with an '"Upermarket" that had been missing its S for the last 30 years, 160 00:09:08,666 --> 00:09:12,416 and a theater where he'd been laughed off the stage when he first tried to rap. 161 00:09:12,500 --> 00:09:14,666 It just never felt like home to him. 162 00:09:14,750 --> 00:09:17,583 Here, people took pride in their leaf blower museum. 163 00:09:17,666 --> 00:09:19,166 SCHITTEN LEAF BLOWER MUSEUM 164 00:09:22,625 --> 00:09:25,458 And in having beloved actress Veronika Ferres… 165 00:09:25,541 --> 00:09:28,250 …voted in as mayor for multiple terms. 166 00:09:28,333 --> 00:09:30,125 Vote for me when you're all grown up. 167 00:09:30,208 --> 00:09:31,041 TOWN HALL 168 00:09:31,125 --> 00:09:32,541 Oh, democracy. 169 00:09:36,375 --> 00:09:37,458 ANY-WEATHER HOTEL 170 00:09:37,541 --> 00:09:40,916 Toni strolled past all the content, down-to-earth folk 171 00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:43,000 who always thought he was weird 172 00:09:43,083 --> 00:09:46,083 because he had a dream they never really understood, 173 00:09:46,583 --> 00:09:48,541 and who put obstacles in his way. 174 00:09:51,208 --> 00:09:55,791 FERRES, COMPLEX IDEAS FOR SCHITTEN 175 00:09:56,458 --> 00:10:01,166 He had zero interest in bumping into all the people who never believed in him, 176 00:10:01,250 --> 00:10:03,500 including his mother and his three sisters. 177 00:10:03,583 --> 00:10:05,166 FLEISCHER 24-HOUR TOWING SERVICE 178 00:10:05,250 --> 00:10:08,208 He wanted to come back as a star. 179 00:10:08,291 --> 00:10:13,208 But sadly, he left a loser, and came back a loser. 180 00:10:13,291 --> 00:10:15,625 FLEISCHER 24H TOWING SERVICE 181 00:10:19,416 --> 00:10:20,958 "It's just one day." 182 00:10:23,916 --> 00:10:27,875 "I can deal with this for one day. Then I'm gone." 183 00:10:32,833 --> 00:10:34,000 Or so he thought. 184 00:10:50,500 --> 00:10:52,375 Get off our skateboard. 185 00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:54,208 Okay. 186 00:10:54,291 --> 00:10:57,333 And so, he reunited with his family. 187 00:10:57,416 --> 00:11:00,416 Toni's sister Nancy is the only policewoman in Schitten. 188 00:11:00,500 --> 00:11:02,958 -Nancy. -A total neat freak. 189 00:11:03,041 --> 00:11:05,041 Take your shoes off in the house. 190 00:11:05,125 --> 00:11:07,333 This is not Berlin, we have rules here. 191 00:11:07,416 --> 00:11:11,166 -And a mother of four. -Children. Say hello to your uncle. 192 00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:13,041 Hello. 193 00:11:13,125 --> 00:11:15,250 -You too. -Hello. 194 00:11:16,208 --> 00:11:18,541 His sister Kaia owns a junkyard, 195 00:11:18,625 --> 00:11:20,166 likes to blow things up, 196 00:11:20,250 --> 00:11:22,333 and swears so much that we have to bleep her. 197 00:11:22,958 --> 00:11:24,416 You look like a sack of . 198 00:11:26,250 --> 00:11:28,125 And his sister Karo 199 00:11:28,208 --> 00:11:31,125 is a driving instructor and hasn't spoken a word to Toni 200 00:11:31,208 --> 00:11:33,583 since he ruined her wedding eight years ago. 201 00:11:35,583 --> 00:11:37,125 And this is… 202 00:11:38,291 --> 00:11:40,041 My son! 203 00:11:40,750 --> 00:11:42,083 …Johnny Carrera. 204 00:11:42,166 --> 00:11:44,250 Come to Papa! Oh! 205 00:11:45,500 --> 00:11:47,666 Wera's widower and Toni's stepfather. 206 00:11:47,750 --> 00:11:51,458 He's younger than Toni and basically a walking waterworks. 207 00:11:51,541 --> 00:11:54,750 This is so nice! I'm so glad you're home again! 208 00:11:56,333 --> 00:12:00,833 "One day. Just make it through one day." 209 00:12:08,125 --> 00:12:09,500 TOWING SERVICE 210 00:12:09,583 --> 00:12:12,541 My condolences. She was truly wonderful. 211 00:12:12,625 --> 00:12:13,625 Thank you. 212 00:12:20,791 --> 00:12:22,500 Just one wiener per person, Pedro. 213 00:12:22,583 --> 00:12:23,625 I see. 214 00:12:25,958 --> 00:12:27,416 -Hey! -Sorry! 215 00:12:28,166 --> 00:12:29,833 So? Where is he? 216 00:12:40,166 --> 00:12:41,458 END OF A (W)ERA 217 00:12:50,333 --> 00:12:51,916 Who the hell is that freak? 218 00:12:53,250 --> 00:12:55,125 Excuse me, that's my seat. 219 00:12:55,208 --> 00:12:57,541 Sorry, you're in my seat. Can you move, please? 220 00:12:58,500 --> 00:13:00,041 -Nice hat though. -Thank you. 221 00:13:03,291 --> 00:13:05,625 I'm sorry for your loss, my best friend. 222 00:13:06,250 --> 00:13:07,750 Paulie. 223 00:13:08,583 --> 00:13:09,916 It's been so long. 224 00:13:10,958 --> 00:13:13,416 So many years. Bet you thought about me a lot. 225 00:13:13,500 --> 00:13:14,583 -Uh-- -Yeah? 226 00:13:15,166 --> 00:13:16,375 Your mother's dead. 227 00:13:17,583 --> 00:13:18,666 I know that. 228 00:13:19,208 --> 00:13:20,250 She was so, um, 229 00:13:21,208 --> 00:13:22,208 hot. 230 00:13:23,000 --> 00:13:24,875 -Have I ever mentioned that? -Too often. 231 00:13:24,958 --> 00:13:27,208 Seriously. I used to jerk off to her every day. 232 00:13:27,291 --> 00:13:29,791 She was honestly the only thing I jerked off to in high school. 233 00:13:29,875 --> 00:13:31,791 -I don't need you to be honest. -Okay. 234 00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:37,875 Remember after graduation, you said, "I'm going to Berlin to be a rap star, 235 00:13:37,958 --> 00:13:40,041 and once I've made it, you'll never see me here again"? 236 00:13:40,125 --> 00:13:42,458 -It doesn't ring a bell. -Well, you're here again. 237 00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:49,208 -So? How 'bout you? -Me? I'm doing great. 238 00:13:52,125 --> 00:13:53,250 Everything's great. 239 00:13:56,208 --> 00:13:57,833 Ever think about the old days, Toni? 240 00:13:57,916 --> 00:13:59,958 -No. -Same, dude, all the time. 241 00:14:00,458 --> 00:14:02,750 -We were so young. -My dear friends… 242 00:14:03,416 --> 00:14:04,875 So young. 243 00:14:09,375 --> 00:14:11,416 My name is Johnny Carrera, 244 00:14:11,500 --> 00:14:17,083 and I had the honor of walking alongside Wera during her golden years. 245 00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:22,333 And I'm the proud and very lucky stepfather of our four beautiful children. 246 00:14:24,250 --> 00:14:26,291 Toni, give the people a wave. 247 00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:29,125 -Wave for Daddy. -Come on, Toni. 248 00:14:32,625 --> 00:14:36,125 Wera was a woman who never left anything to chance. 249 00:14:36,208 --> 00:14:38,791 Even the streets of our small town, she, uh… 250 00:14:38,875 --> 00:14:43,208 She prepared them so there'd be little "accidents" for her to take care of. 251 00:14:43,291 --> 00:14:47,791 That's how we met, when she… slashed the tires of my Opel Kadett and then… 252 00:14:49,083 --> 00:14:50,458 towed me to her shop. 253 00:14:51,500 --> 00:14:54,541 And she said, "You're staying with me now." 254 00:14:55,958 --> 00:14:57,291 And so I did. 255 00:14:59,458 --> 00:15:02,375 I've been thinking a lot about her very last words to me. 256 00:15:03,208 --> 00:15:05,333 "You call that sex, Johnny Carrera?" 257 00:15:06,916 --> 00:15:09,416 -No one thinks that's inappropriate? -Can you just pay attention? 258 00:15:09,500 --> 00:15:14,125 Now, let's listen to the beautiful words of Wera's favorite poet, Haddaway. 259 00:15:15,708 --> 00:15:17,750 "What is love?" 260 00:15:18,500 --> 00:15:19,625 "Baby, don't…" 261 00:15:19,708 --> 00:15:21,208 PIPO (DUDE I WORK WITH AT THE PIZZERIA) 262 00:15:22,625 --> 00:15:23,625 "…hurt me." 263 00:15:24,916 --> 00:15:26,458 "Don't hurt me…" 264 00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:29,125 "…no more." 265 00:15:35,541 --> 00:15:36,666 -Pipo? -Dude. 266 00:15:36,750 --> 00:15:38,916 -You're not gonna believe what happened. -Hello? 267 00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:40,416 A woman… you, 268 00:15:40,500 --> 00:15:42,541 she saw you at the… and she wants to meet you today. 269 00:15:42,625 --> 00:15:44,833 -Pipo? -She… your freestyling, seriously. 270 00:15:45,333 --> 00:15:48,125 -I… I can't hear anything. -And now she's at… 271 00:15:48,208 --> 00:15:50,791 -No reception in this damn town. -Can you hear me? 272 00:15:50,875 --> 00:15:52,416 I'll be back tomorrow, okay? 273 00:15:52,500 --> 00:15:54,458 -This is your dream… -Take care of Susi. 274 00:15:55,125 --> 00:15:56,416 Toni, you there? 275 00:15:58,875 --> 00:16:01,666 -He has no reception. -Where is he? 276 00:16:01,750 --> 00:16:02,791 Schitten. 277 00:16:07,750 --> 00:16:09,833 I've been thinking of letting my hair grow out. 278 00:16:09,916 --> 00:16:14,291 Mom always said my face was too delicate for that, but now I might just try it. 279 00:16:14,833 --> 00:16:17,208 -What if she hears you? -Are you completely nuts? 280 00:16:17,708 --> 00:16:19,333 Okay. Stupid idea. 281 00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:21,125 Hey. 282 00:16:21,208 --> 00:16:26,000 Toni's family reacted the way they always did in emotional situations. 283 00:16:29,291 --> 00:16:31,000 -Well? -Well? 284 00:16:31,083 --> 00:16:32,583 They repressed it. 285 00:16:33,083 --> 00:16:35,125 -How are things in Berlin? -Awesome. 286 00:16:35,833 --> 00:16:37,708 -Berlin creeps me out. -Yep. 287 00:16:38,291 --> 00:16:39,708 You've never been there. 288 00:16:39,791 --> 00:16:41,666 They eat dogs, don't they? 289 00:16:45,250 --> 00:16:46,125 Yep. 290 00:16:47,500 --> 00:16:50,083 -See what I mean now? -Wow. 291 00:16:52,916 --> 00:16:55,208 What's up with that weird kid on the keys? 292 00:16:55,708 --> 00:16:57,500 Who even organized this thing? 293 00:17:12,500 --> 00:17:14,958 In the book of history's greatest love stories, 294 00:17:15,041 --> 00:17:17,208 the tale of Tony and Jana… 295 00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:19,250 is not present. 296 00:17:20,291 --> 00:17:22,416 The first time he rapped to her behind the gym, 297 00:17:22,500 --> 00:17:23,958 back when they were 15, 298 00:17:24,041 --> 00:17:26,041 he was the coolest guy in the world. 299 00:17:26,125 --> 00:17:31,541 She was head over heels for him, until she realized he was her first crush, 300 00:17:31,625 --> 00:17:33,666 but not the great love of her life. 301 00:17:41,041 --> 00:17:42,250 Women, right? 302 00:17:43,916 --> 00:17:46,166 Go away, bro. 303 00:17:46,250 --> 00:17:47,791 Come on, let's go. 304 00:17:53,583 --> 00:17:54,625 My condolences. 305 00:17:54,708 --> 00:17:55,833 Thanks. 306 00:17:55,916 --> 00:17:57,916 -I bet 100 euro you wouldn't show. -Sorry. 307 00:17:59,875 --> 00:18:01,041 It's been a while. 308 00:18:01,125 --> 00:18:02,833 -Fourteen years. -Really? 309 00:18:02,916 --> 00:18:04,583 -Mm-hmm. -Wow. 310 00:18:05,333 --> 00:18:06,833 Did you happen to get my email or… 311 00:18:06,916 --> 00:18:09,125 Um… No idea. 312 00:18:09,208 --> 00:18:11,458 -When'd you send it? -Fourteen years ago. 313 00:18:11,541 --> 00:18:12,708 Never got it. 314 00:18:13,750 --> 00:18:15,791 -Mm. -Funeral director, huh? 315 00:18:15,875 --> 00:18:17,958 -Uh, yeah. -So you took over your mom's business? 316 00:18:18,041 --> 00:18:18,875 Mm-hmm. 317 00:18:19,791 --> 00:18:21,083 How about you? Working? 318 00:18:21,875 --> 00:18:23,000 Yeah. 319 00:18:23,500 --> 00:18:24,708 It's been great, actually. 320 00:18:24,791 --> 00:18:25,791 -Yeah? -Yeah, really good. 321 00:18:25,875 --> 00:18:27,083 -Really? -Mm-hmm. 322 00:18:27,166 --> 00:18:28,333 Never heard you on the radio. 323 00:18:28,416 --> 00:18:31,375 I mean, I listen to a lot of it, but I don't believe I've heard you. 324 00:18:31,458 --> 00:18:33,708 Yeah, I was never in it for the mainstream stuff. 325 00:18:33,791 --> 00:18:35,458 Ah. Right. 326 00:18:35,541 --> 00:18:39,541 Toni was embarrassed to be back home with nothing accomplished. 327 00:18:39,625 --> 00:18:42,250 In Berlin, people say I'm the voice of my generation. 328 00:18:42,333 --> 00:18:46,000 No one's ever said that. Not in Berlin, not anywhere. 329 00:18:46,916 --> 00:18:48,166 Uh… 330 00:18:49,041 --> 00:18:51,125 How about your spam folder, did you look? 331 00:18:51,208 --> 00:18:52,833 -What? -Never mind. Um… 332 00:18:52,916 --> 00:18:55,875 -Well… -Hey, I'll be in touch. 333 00:18:57,500 --> 00:18:58,333 I'll email ya. 334 00:18:59,416 --> 00:19:01,000 Mm. You do that. 335 00:19:03,625 --> 00:19:06,666 And at that moment, for just a fraction of a second, 336 00:19:06,750 --> 00:19:11,125 Toni found himself wondering what his life would've looked like if he'd never left. 337 00:19:12,916 --> 00:19:15,666 Home again, home again 338 00:19:18,125 --> 00:19:22,125 One day I know I'll feel home again 339 00:19:23,416 --> 00:19:27,250 Born again, born again 340 00:19:29,208 --> 00:19:33,416 -One day I know I'll feel strong again -Wera! 341 00:19:33,500 --> 00:19:35,333 So I close my… 342 00:19:35,416 --> 00:19:38,500 But then he quickly pushed that thought aside. 343 00:19:38,583 --> 00:19:41,875 …behind, moving on 344 00:19:46,041 --> 00:19:49,750 Lost again, lost again 345 00:19:51,916 --> 00:19:55,833 One day I know Our paths will cross again 346 00:19:56,916 --> 00:20:00,750 Smile again, smile again 347 00:20:02,791 --> 00:20:06,333 One day I hope to make you smile again 348 00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:10,000 I won't hide 349 00:20:13,875 --> 00:20:15,166 Many times-- 350 00:20:25,916 --> 00:20:28,375 I used her own fat to make the explosives. 351 00:20:28,458 --> 00:20:29,708 She'd be proud, for sure. 352 00:20:35,208 --> 00:20:38,625 Home again, home again 353 00:20:41,125 --> 00:20:45,000 One day I know I'll feel home again 354 00:20:46,416 --> 00:20:50,083 Born again, born again 355 00:20:52,250 --> 00:20:56,500 One day I know I'll feel strong again 356 00:20:56,583 --> 00:20:59,750 I'll lift my head 357 00:20:59,833 --> 00:21:03,166 JOHNNY CARRERA'S GLASS FIGURE COLLECTION THE MOST BEAUTIFUL PIECES! 358 00:21:03,250 --> 00:21:06,791 Many times I've been told 359 00:21:08,916 --> 00:21:12,333 All this talk will make you old 360 00:21:13,041 --> 00:21:15,708 So I close my eyes 361 00:21:17,833 --> 00:21:19,750 Knock-knock. Oh my God! 362 00:21:20,666 --> 00:21:23,375 -Are you masturbating, you rascal? -No. 363 00:21:24,208 --> 00:21:27,041 So, does someone wanna be tucked in again, or what? 364 00:21:27,125 --> 00:21:30,125 You never tucked me in before. You're younger than me, Jesus Christ. 365 00:21:30,208 --> 00:21:31,791 -Champ… -Don't call me that, dude. 366 00:21:31,875 --> 00:21:32,916 What's wrong? 367 00:21:35,208 --> 00:21:37,083 Why did you leave my room like this? 368 00:21:38,083 --> 00:21:43,291 Oh, your mother wanted to have a place that you could always come back to, 369 00:21:43,375 --> 00:21:45,625 in case the music thing didn't work out. 370 00:21:50,791 --> 00:21:52,250 She never really believed in me. 371 00:21:52,333 --> 00:21:57,416 What? No. She always spoke so highly of, um, whatever it is you do. 372 00:21:57,500 --> 00:21:59,708 Did she ever mention anything good about it at all? 373 00:21:59,791 --> 00:22:03,416 Well… she said… she said many good things. 374 00:22:03,500 --> 00:22:04,625 Name one thing. 375 00:22:04,708 --> 00:22:06,416 Yeah… She… 376 00:22:06,916 --> 00:22:08,125 -Hmm? -She loved… 377 00:22:08,208 --> 00:22:09,041 Hmm? 378 00:22:10,541 --> 00:22:11,750 Your pants. 379 00:22:15,666 --> 00:22:16,500 What? 380 00:22:16,583 --> 00:22:19,750 She… "That boy wears really sturdy pants," her exact words. 381 00:22:19,833 --> 00:22:23,041 "And he needs them, 'cause of his huge thighs." 382 00:22:23,833 --> 00:22:26,916 Okay, somehow it sounded nicer when she said it. 383 00:22:29,625 --> 00:22:31,750 I loved her so much. 384 00:22:32,666 --> 00:22:34,083 How come? 385 00:22:34,166 --> 00:22:36,125 I mean, she was always honest. 386 00:22:39,958 --> 00:22:42,750 -And a wild puma in bed. -Okay, I'd like to go to sleep. 387 00:22:42,833 --> 00:22:44,083 -Goodnight kiss? Okay. -Get out. 388 00:22:59,250 --> 00:23:01,333 Good night, my sweet prince! 389 00:23:04,416 --> 00:23:06,000 Ugh… 390 00:23:31,500 --> 00:23:32,500 What the hell? 391 00:23:48,250 --> 00:23:49,583 Toni Fleischer? 392 00:23:50,208 --> 00:23:51,041 Yeah? 393 00:23:51,125 --> 00:23:52,791 Dalia Müller-Müller. 394 00:23:52,875 --> 00:23:54,208 Müller-Müller? 395 00:23:54,291 --> 00:23:56,166 Yeah, my mom wanted to keep her last name. 396 00:23:57,791 --> 00:24:00,750 Um, I'm a Junior A&R manager at Cutie Heart Records. 397 00:24:00,833 --> 00:24:03,875 Cutie Heart Records was Germany's second-biggest rap label 398 00:24:03,958 --> 00:24:06,625 and discount heart transplant clinic, 399 00:24:06,708 --> 00:24:10,833 founded and run by former heart surgeon Doctor Dietmar Diggity Drews. 400 00:24:11,416 --> 00:24:12,583 How'd you even find me here? 401 00:24:15,208 --> 00:24:17,916 Toni! I'm in a helicopter! 402 00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:19,125 I'm happy for you… bro. 403 00:24:21,583 --> 00:24:24,500 -You always roll up in a chopper? -When we want to impress rappers, we do. 404 00:24:24,583 --> 00:24:25,583 It's working, I gotta say. 405 00:24:25,666 --> 00:24:29,333 Toni, I wanna be honest with you, and please don't take this the wrong way, 406 00:24:29,416 --> 00:24:31,916 but you're not the youngest or the best-looking 407 00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:36,083 or the most charismatic or the best-smelling person I've ever met. 408 00:24:36,166 --> 00:24:37,208 Okay. 409 00:24:37,291 --> 00:24:38,250 Far from it. 410 00:24:38,333 --> 00:24:40,208 -Mm. -However… 411 00:24:41,125 --> 00:24:43,333 I saw something in your freestyle. 412 00:24:43,416 --> 00:24:44,625 It's what I'm after. 413 00:24:45,750 --> 00:24:46,583 Heart. 414 00:24:48,208 --> 00:24:49,041 Heart? 415 00:24:49,625 --> 00:24:50,500 Heart. 416 00:24:51,625 --> 00:24:54,708 I'd like to show your rapping to my boss. Got any songs I can play for him? 417 00:24:54,791 --> 00:24:57,000 Toni had hundreds of song sketches, 418 00:24:57,083 --> 00:24:58,833 half-decent song intros. 419 00:24:58,916 --> 00:25:01,333 But self-doubt always crept in, 420 00:25:01,416 --> 00:25:04,500 and he never managed to finish a single one. 421 00:25:04,583 --> 00:25:06,125 Um, nothing recent. 422 00:25:06,208 --> 00:25:08,666 Shit. 423 00:25:09,416 --> 00:25:10,958 In that case… hm. 424 00:25:11,041 --> 00:25:12,083 Wait a second. Uh… 425 00:25:12,875 --> 00:25:14,000 I can write some. 426 00:25:15,291 --> 00:25:18,875 My attention span has been completely ruined by streaming services. 427 00:25:20,125 --> 00:25:22,125 I can only care about something for maybe two weeks. 428 00:25:22,208 --> 00:25:25,000 Two weeks is enough time. I can write songs in two weeks, no problem. 429 00:25:25,083 --> 00:25:28,166 Good. Just make sure one of them is a hit. 430 00:25:28,250 --> 00:25:30,250 Actually, I don't handle pressure super well. 431 00:25:30,333 --> 00:25:31,166 Two weeks to go. 432 00:25:32,750 --> 00:25:35,208 And the ticking clock won't stop ticking. 433 00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:37,916 Tick-tock. 434 00:25:38,583 --> 00:25:39,416 Okay. 435 00:25:59,500 --> 00:26:00,625 Shit. 436 00:26:07,791 --> 00:26:11,000 Toni was suddenly handed the chance of a lifetime. 437 00:26:11,083 --> 00:26:13,666 All he had to do was write a hit. 438 00:26:13,750 --> 00:26:16,125 But he knew he couldn't do that in Schitten. 439 00:26:16,208 --> 00:26:18,625 With Johnny whining, Nancy barking orders, 440 00:26:18,708 --> 00:26:20,833 and that Paulie guy, whatever his deal was… 441 00:26:20,916 --> 00:26:23,166 -Johnny! -…he'd never have the peace and quiet 442 00:26:23,250 --> 00:26:24,333 -he needed here. -Johnny! 443 00:26:24,416 --> 00:26:26,458 He had to get back to Berlin. 444 00:26:26,541 --> 00:26:27,875 Johnny! 445 00:26:27,958 --> 00:26:28,916 Yes? 446 00:26:30,541 --> 00:26:32,708 You happen to know where Mom's tow truck is? 447 00:26:33,375 --> 00:26:35,083 It's still at the spot where she died. 448 00:26:38,458 --> 00:26:39,708 And where are the keys? 449 00:26:42,500 --> 00:26:45,000 Son, in a father's life, there eventually comes a point-- 450 00:26:45,083 --> 00:26:47,083 Johnny, I don't have time for your nonsense. 451 00:26:47,166 --> 00:26:48,000 Okay. 452 00:26:48,083 --> 00:26:50,083 I have to go to Berlin, and write! 453 00:27:10,500 --> 00:27:12,625 Ugh. Shit. 454 00:27:29,166 --> 00:27:31,041 Shit. 455 00:27:50,000 --> 00:27:51,333 Shit! 456 00:27:52,750 --> 00:27:56,166 Shit! Shit, shit, shit. Goddammit! 457 00:28:07,125 --> 00:28:09,791 Uh, I… I didn't mean to. 458 00:28:12,125 --> 00:28:13,750 Hey, I didn't know they were your parents. 459 00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:17,500 Take it easy. One of you is to blame for my mother's death. 460 00:28:17,583 --> 00:28:19,041 So I guess we're even. 461 00:28:20,791 --> 00:28:22,583 It was an accident. I'm sorry. 462 00:28:23,583 --> 00:28:25,041 Don't look at me like that. 463 00:28:25,125 --> 00:28:26,958 No, I can't take you with me. 464 00:28:28,041 --> 00:28:31,083 I have to write songs, okay? I don't have time f-for another being in my life. 465 00:28:34,416 --> 00:28:35,500 I apologize. 466 00:28:40,375 --> 00:28:42,375 So Toni set off to Berlin. 467 00:28:43,750 --> 00:28:45,583 And he wasn't alone. 468 00:28:46,333 --> 00:28:48,166 Tupac, don't be a drag, 469 00:28:48,250 --> 00:28:49,541 or you're outta here. 470 00:28:50,958 --> 00:28:53,083 He had to focus. 471 00:28:54,250 --> 00:28:56,166 It's okay, you couldn't have known. 472 00:29:03,708 --> 00:29:05,625 The moment he got out of Schitten, 473 00:29:05,708 --> 00:29:07,000 the ideas started flowing. 474 00:29:11,041 --> 00:29:14,375 He could already hear it… His hit. 475 00:29:15,000 --> 00:29:19,666 Toni, Toni, Toni, Toni! 476 00:29:20,583 --> 00:29:21,708 Check, check. 477 00:29:23,125 --> 00:29:24,125 Uh 478 00:29:25,041 --> 00:29:25,958 Okay. 479 00:29:26,458 --> 00:29:27,291 Check. 480 00:29:50,625 --> 00:29:52,833 Hey, what are you doing in the middle of the road? 481 00:29:53,416 --> 00:29:57,333 Uh, hello. Um, my name is Karsten Maria Schrammel, people call me Charly. 482 00:29:57,416 --> 00:29:58,791 I'm 13 years old. 483 00:29:58,875 --> 00:30:00,166 My pronouns are he, him, his. 484 00:30:00,250 --> 00:30:02,833 And I'm the Brandenburg breath-holding record holder. 485 00:30:02,916 --> 00:30:04,291 So? 486 00:30:04,375 --> 00:30:05,791 I'm your son. 487 00:30:08,083 --> 00:30:10,458 And my mom just left, so I have to stay with you. 488 00:30:14,666 --> 00:30:15,666 Papa. 36152

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.