All language subtitles for Happys Place s02e13 A New Chapter.eng

[upbeat bluesy music]

? ?

- [sighs]

I can't tell which angle
makes it scream,

"Hey, welcome to a modern,
cool speakeasy!"

- Well, from any angle,
I'm pretty sure it's screaming,

"Hey, I'm a chair!
I shouldn't even be talking."

- I just want every detail
of our speakeasy

to be perfect, you know?

I got this vintage record
player at a garage sale.

Oh, and this vintage coffee
table at another garage sale.

Oh, and those pillows?
- Garage sale.

- Actually,
I got those on Etsy.

- Oh.
- [sighs]

I just want it to be special,
you know?

It's my baby.

- Aw. It is special.

You should feel
real good about it.

- I'll feel better
once our lighting is finished.

- Step ahead of you, sister.

- [squeals]

- I had the electrician
install it over the weekend.

- Thank you, Bobbie.

- You're welcome.

- I don't know what I'd do
without you.

- Oh, you're doing great.

Only thing to keep in mind
moving forward

is to keep a cool head.

Nothing to get worked up about.

- Hey, guys, hide the hooch.

The fuzz is here.

Oh, yeah.
Just a little speakeasy humor.

It's the health inspector.

- The health inspector?

Wh-that's not until Wednesday!

- Remember me?

Monica Ulrich,
Department of Health,

badge number...
all: 168.

- Yep, yep, yep.

Monica, what are you
doing here?

- I'll be performing
the health inspection

for this space on Wednesday.

I'd like you to have this
paperwork filled out by then.

- We didn't have to do this
last time.

- Well, I wanted to get here
ahead of time

to tell you that, unofficially,

I'm really looking forward
to spending time with you

as just one of the gals.

You know, gal time.

- Why?

- Well, during
our last encounter,

I felt that the staff and I had
developed an easygoing rapport.

- Did I work here then?

- [laughs] She's just kidding.

Of course we did.

- I'm relieved it's mutual.

Well, I guess
I'll see you gals Wednesday!

[laughs]

Have a good day.

- I don't know
what that badge does,

but I never want one.

- Bobbie, are you sure
you're going to be OK

with Monica doing
the inspection?

- Of course. Why wouldn't I be?

- Um, the last time
she was here,

all she did was
flirt with Emmett.

Her nickname for him
was Hot Sauce.

- [laughs]

Don't be ridiculous.

I'll be fine.

- You sure?
- Of course I'm sure.

Now let's get downstairs

and open that other business
that we're running.

- OK.

- Ooh.

Crap. I'm going to need that.

? Sometimes it feels
like a big ol' fight ?

? To get through the day ?

? And sleep on
through the night ?

? But here
you'll find a place ?

? That'll surely
lift your spirits ?

? You belong
at Happy's Place ?

- [gasps] Oh!

Did my birthday come early?

Who sent me two front row seats
to "Mamma Mia!"?

- They're addressed to Emmett.
- Ugh.

How dare he go to a musical
without me?

- Maybe he wants to only hear
the actors sing.

- I mouth the words.

- Yeah, and a lot of sound
comes out.

- Oh, there he is.

The dancing king.

- What?

- Your "Mamma Mia!"
tickets came.

You know you can get those
by email.

- I got those for me and Bobbie
when we were together.

- Sorry.

Are you still going to go?

- No.

- Well, these are great seats,
and I love ABBA.

Could I maybe buy them
from you?

- No.

Just 'cause
I'm not going to use them

doesn't mean you can.

- Wow. [laughs]

And I thought
you guys were friends.

- Did you do something?

- Ooh, ooh.

Ooh, ooh, ooh.

- Yes, you in the back.

- Well, maybe he's mad at you

because you blabbed his secret
and Bobbie broke up with him.

- Why is he attacking me?

I didn't blab his secret.
Takoda did.

He should be attacking Takoda.

- You're a real profile
in courage, Steve.

- Well, I don't know if this
will make you feel any better,

but the important thing is,

no one's mad at me.

- She's wrong.

I hate her.

[upbeat bluesy music]

? ?

[whirring]
- Eat it.

- Hey, Bobbie, I was-

uh-oh.

You're shredding.

You only do that
when you're upset.

Is it Monica?

- No, it's your paycheck.

Of course it's Monica.

- If it really bothers you,

I'm sure there's some way
we can get rid of her.

- She won't fit
in the shredder.

But really, I have no right
to interfere.

I was the one that said Emmett
and I should just be friends.

- Technically true.

But if Emmett and Monica
start to date,

you're going to have
to see that every day.

We can't have
a health inspector here.

She'll probably make me stop
feeding the alley cats.

- Those are raccoons.

- [gasps]

She's shredding.
- Mm-hmm.

She's upset because she thinks

Monica and Emmett
will start dating,

and then they'll,
you know, mm...

[imitating kissing] Mm-mm-mm.

- OK. I don't love the visual.

And I don't love
the sound effects.

- It makes complete sense,
Bobbie, OK?

Just because you two are
no longer dating

doesn't mean you want to see
him with someone else, OK?

So what do you want
to do about it?

- I don't think there's
anything we can do about it.

- Look.

Emmett goes fishing
on Wednesdays

and doesn't get back
until noon,

so that means all we have to do

is get Monica in and out
in an hour.

- There's three problems
with that.

The first two are you and you.

- What do you mean?

- Well, Isabella likes to brag

about everything she's done
to the speakeasy-

impressive, but time-consuming.

- Accurate, yet hurtful.
- Yeah.

- And, Gabby, there's a reason
your name is Gabby.

You can't stand silence.

- That is not true.

Somebody speak!
- OK.

If we're going to get rid
of Monica in record time,

you two need to zip it.

- OK.
- OK. We promise.

- [grunting]

- Now, what was
the third issue?

- Oh, yeah, Steve.

There's no way
he's going to rush out

the health inspector.

Shoot, the selfies alone
will take 40 minutes.

- Don't you worry.

I'll talk to Steve.

Not overtalk-

just the right amount.

? ?

.

[upbeat bluesy music]

- Hey, remember when you said
that Emmett wasn't mad at you?

- Mm-hmm.
- Mamma Mia, were you wrong.

- Leave him alone.

You don't know anything.

- Well, you know,
my name is Gabby

because I hear things.

- Wait.

What did you hear?

- I overheard Emmett
talking to Isabella,

and he said that
he can never trust you again.

- [scoffs]
I'm totally trustworthy.

Takoda's the one
you can't trust.

- Watch it, Steve.

You only got one friend left.

- You know what you have to do.

You have to talk to Emmett.

- Talk to the king
of not talking?

There are mimes that talk
more than Emmett.

- Listen,
if I've learned anything

about getting men to talk,

it's that you've got
to trap them first.

- I guess we could corner him
in the kitchen after our shift.

- Oh, no. No, no, no, no.

You've got to get him
someplace away from work-

you know, where there's
no distractions.

Hey.

I know.

Emmett goes fishing
every Wednesday morning.

You could trap him
at the fishing shack.

- Or you can just shove me
headfirst into an outhouse,

get it over with.

- No, no, no.

You want him
in his comfort zone.

And you know,
don't confront him too quickly.

Really take your time.

- You know, I never say this,

but I think Gabby's right.

- You know,
I've never said this,

but let's go
to a fishing shack.

[upbeat bluesy music]

? ?

- You know,
if you wanted me to come-

- No talking, no bragging.

We got to get her out of here.
- OK.

- You doing OK over there?

- I'll tell you when I'm done.

- Done.

? Dun, dun, dun, dun ?

Hey, Monica, if you need
to get a closer look,

I could come over there
and just lift you right up,

you know?

- Not necessary.

If I need, I have a ladder
in my Toyota Tundra.

- Tundra.

Icy tundra.

Cold.

Brrr.

Icy.
- What are you doing?

- I don't know.

- Get over there.

- Now, this wood is
original to the building.

Has it been fireproofed?

- Yes.
Fireproofed and up to code.

I kept the original
wood look because-

- Because that's
the end of that story.

[laughs]

- Although from
an aesthetic standpoint,

much more went into it.

- Will someone escort me
to the refrigeration system?

- It's right over here
on the other side of the bar

right next to
the still-quiet Gabby.

- Oh.

Oh, there's my glasses.

Oh, oh. [laughs]

I don't know.

- OK, refrigerator is here,

and the temperature gauge is
right there.

- It's a refurbished
1957 Philco-

incredibly authentic.

You see, these are
the kinds of touches...

I'll keep to myself.

- OK, the gauge is in range,

and that checks the last item
off the list.

- Are we done?

- We have successfully
completed

the health inspection.

- Oh.

That's a record, even for you.

- Yeah.
Best health inspector ever.

- This girl.
- OK.

- I'd like to acknowledge
your professionalism

keeping the chatter
and personal anecdotes

to a minimum.

- Your time is valuable,
and we respect that.

- So get out of here!

- And don't let
the Prohibition era-style

sliding gate hit you
on the way out.

- Personally, I wanted
to hurry things along-

- And we appreciate that.
- Let me finish, Bobbie.

- OK.

- I wanted
to hurry things along

so we could transition
into gal time.

- Gal time?

That's really a thing?
- Well, yes.

Well, now that my badge is off,

I don't want you to think of me

as Monica Ulrich,
Department of Health.

I want you to think of me

as Monica Ulrich,
Department of Friends!

? ?

.

[upbeat bluesy music]

[footsteps tapping]

- Who's out there?

I'm armed.

- Don't shoot.

It's Steve.

- Who's hiding behind Takoda.

- Hey, buddy.

- What the hell are you two
doing out here?

- Can we come in?

There's a lot of mosquitoes,
and I think

they're attracted
to my hand cream.

- Oh. Nice fishing shack, man.
- Yeah.

I love what you haven't done
to the place.

- I'll say it again.

What the hell are y'all
doing out here?

- What do you mean?

I'm just a dude
that loves a place

with fish and worms
and-ugh, fish and worms.

- We wanted to apologize.

- Huh.

For coming here?

I accept.

See you later.

- No.

For me telling Isabella
that you knew about her.

- I mean, technically,
I'm the one who told you,

so I'm also to blame.

But you know,
just a little less.

- Yeah, I know.

When I told you that,
I put you in a terrible spot,

just like Happy did me.

- I'm glad you don't blame us,
but something's going on.

- You know why I come out here?

- The ambience?

- The quiet.

So if you can't stay quiet,
head out.

- OK.

Wait. We're staying?

[upbeat bluesy music]

- So I said to the manager,

"Your waiter's not wearing
any shoes!"

And he says to me-

true story, hand to God-
- I believe you.

I believe you.

- And he says to me,
"That's OK.

He serves the food
with his hands."

Oh, no!

[laughter]

- Who knew there'd be
so many funny stories

about being a health inspector?

- I know.
- So many.

So very many.

- I got a million of 'em.

- Yeah. I know.
We've heard 'em.

- Oh, man.

You know, this would be
so much more fun

if we were drinking.

Can we please start drinking?

- Oh!

I'd love to imbibe
in some spirits.

Hey, as long as you don't
serve them with your feet!

Oh, sha-ding!

- OK, well,
we don't want to keep you.

So here we go.
- Yeah, yeah.

- No, but wait, wait, wait.

What about you guys? Come on.

You must have some hilarious
stories about working here.

- Ah, no.
- No.

- Not-not really.

- Oh, come on.

It's a bar.

Surely there were some hijinks.

- No. We pride ourselves
in no hijinks.

Yep.

No hijinks and no quiche.

- No.

- Really?
- Yeah.

- Nothing?
- Nah.

- OK, well,
then I have one more.

- Oh, yay.

- No, this one,
you're going to find hilarious.

- OK.
- OK.

I get pretty lonely,

because I don't have
any friends.

And I actually thought
that I might find some here.

How-how funny is that?

- Not exactly hilarious.

- Wait a minute, Monica.

You know, Daddy always said
that Happy's was a place

where no one should feel alone.

It's a place where
everybody knows your name.

- Wait. Wasn't that "Cheers"?

I think that-

- Let me finish, Monica.

It's here too.

I'd like for you to stay.

- What about you two?

Do you want me to stay?

- Yeah, I do.

- Me too.

Sha-ding! Ha!

[upbeat bluesy music]

? ?

- What are you doing?

- I'm organizing.

I'd do this alphabetically,

but I have no idea
what they're called.

- Wow.

I was wrong.

You're being quiet,
and you're still a problem.

Get out.

- We're worried about you, man.

- Thought you were worried
I was mad at you.

- Even if you're not mad at us,

we can tell that
something's bothering you.

- We just want to know
what's going on.

- I don't feel like talking.

- Why?

- Because I don't feel like it.

- Well, we're not leaving until
you tell us what's going on.

Right, Takoda?

- Right.

- So why won't you talk to us?

- Because talking
ruined everything.

? ?

.

- What do you mean,
"Talking ruined everything"?

- Because Happy told me
his secret,

and then he died.

Then I tell Bobbie his secret,

and then she leaves me.

So you guys add all that up.

What's the problem?

- Talking?

- Bingo.
- No.

Emmett, I'm sorry
that happened,

but I don't think
talking is the problem.

You lost two
of the most important people

in your life, people
you felt safe opening up to.

- You need to open up
to somebody, man.

- I'm fine.

- No, you're not.

You were, but then
something happened.

- I guess it was when
those theater tickets arrived,

it hit me.

This thing with Bobbie,

it's not going to blow over.

We're not going
to get back together.

- I really hoped you would.

- Me too.

- Yeah.

Well, I don't know
what I'm going to do.

- I do.

You're going to move on,
which will be hard.

- And you'll still have us
to talk to.

- Although maybe
in a different place.

- Hey.

You want to learn
how to whittle?

- No.

But I'll sweep up.

- Deal.

Watch out for
the fish heads down there.

- Ohh.

They're looking at me.

? ?

[laughter]

- I get it.

- Monica, you're a hoot.

- Thanks for
getting me to stay.

- I'm glad you did.

- Yeah, we all are.

- I just get so insecure
and start spinning out

about, you know,
not having any friends

and not being liked
and being unlucky in love

and, you know, dying alone.

- Oh, yeah, I-

- Sounds to me like
you're borrowing trouble.

And I should know,
because I've been doing that

a lot lately.

- Honestly, me too.

I keep worrying that
something's going to go wrong

with the speakeasy
and then it'll be a big failure

and the tavern will go bankrupt

and I'll lose all my teeth to
night grinding.

- See?

That's a heap
of borrowed trouble.

- I don't need
to borrow trouble.

I live with it.

And its name is Mom.

- Well, so how do
you guys deal?

I mean, once I start borrowing,
I can't stop.

- You know what works for me?

- What?
- My friends.

These two had my back
when I was spinning out,

and now we have yours.

- Really?

- Yeah.
- Really.

You have nothing to be
insecure about.

And don't be afraid about
putting yourself out there.

- OK.

Thanks.

[gasps] Big E!

- Monica.

What are you doing here?

- Oh, I was just, uh,
talking with my friends.

- Well, it's good to see you.

- Hey, I was wondering,

would you want to grab
a cup of coffee next week?

- You should go, Emmett.

She's a lot of fun.

- Yeah, that'd be nice.

I'm in.

- OK, great.

Well, I'll give you a call.

I know this great place that

cleans their espresso machine
like you wouldn't believe.

- All right.

I'll see you next week.

- OK, perfect.

- All right.

- Are you OK, Bobbie?

- Yeah. I'm fine.

[chuckling]

[upbeat bluesy music]

? ?

- I take it you enjoyed
"Mamma Mia"?

- It was the greatest show
I've ever seen in my life.

In my life!

- Thanks for nothing.

? ?

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