Original subtitles

So, here's the first thing you should know about me -

I never stole from just anyone.

I had rules.

Rule number one, they had to be rich.

Like they could spare a few quid.

Rule number two, they had to be alone.

No witnesses.

Oh, and definitely no-one with kids.

Normally I wouldn't have picked an old man, to be honest,

but what can I say?

We were hungry and he was the perfect mark.

Posh, alone, distracted.

Oh! Sorry, sir.

I should look where I'm going. Let me help you.

Oh, I think not.

My bad.

It was too easy.

I guess I should've known.

Look, I know coppers have a dodgy rep these days,

but you seem like one of the good ones,

so I was thinking we could just all call this an honest mistake.

I'm arresting you for theft. You do not have to say anything...

Wait!

There is actually one tiny little thing

that I would like to say.

Oi!

Get back here!

Oi, get back here!

Stop right there!

INAUDIBLE

I can't believe you won 40 this time.

Honestly, you and scratchcards. What's your secret?

I guess I was just born lucky.

Someday soon we're going to eat like this every night.

Not every night. Think of me hips!

And we're going to live in a caravan by the sea.

You won't have to clean for those stupid Merciers.

I'm going to give you the life you deserve.

I swear.

What are you up to?

It's us against the world, right, Grandma?

Always.

What is it, love?

It's my coin. My lucky coin. Oh.

We can retrace our steps.

No, it'll turn up.

TRAIN RUMBLES

Where am I?

Look around, bro!

Literally nothing here. Just, like, woods.

Well, don't blame me.

They said get off at Moorheart.

Look, this is Moorheart.

Right. Nice job, bro. Now we're stranded in an actual wasteland.

Well, given the tactical choice between this

and police custody, I just thought...

What?

Who are you?

Could ask you that exact same question.

Where are you going? We're in the middle of a conversation here.

Rude.

Just out of interest, you weren't told to, like, board a train

by, say, a cryptic message on your computer?

Word To The Wise.

And when you got that message, you weren't hypothetically

maybe engaged in something ethically... challenging?

What if I was?

Look, man, it sounds like we're both brung here by the same evil genius,

so don't it kind of make sense to share what we know?

All I know is whoever this is, I need to take back what they stole.

Didn't stole nothing from us.

And do whatever it takes to stop them grassing me up.

Otherwise my life is basically over.

INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER

This was a... a b-bad idea.

A bunch of kids walk through the woods?

That's literally the plot of every horror movie ever made.

Hey, mystery man, how do you even know you're going the right way?

He doesn't.

He's about 45 degrees off course.

Look, I saw a glitch on the GPS.

It's like the whole area just deleted from the map.

That's where we're heading, no?

You're hackers?

Wh-What makes you say that?

Jig's up, bro. Might as well fess.

Yep. We are actually the Brothers Crim.

I'm Ade, he's Ede.

The Brothers Crim?

The hacking legends?

No? ADE CLEARS THROAT

And you are?

Signal's just gone.

Someone blocked it. Look.

The screen's just died.

BRANCH CRACKS

Th-This whole thing's a trap.

That phone is not going to be the only thing that's dead soon.

W-We're lost... BIRDS SCATTER

...in the middle of a wood. No way of calling for help.

No-one even knows we're here.

Except...

...them.

Wh-Whoever them even is.

BIRD SHRIEKS

It's a maze.

This whole wood's a maze.

Yeah, right. Totes amaze.

It's not a trap.

It's a test.

Come on. I know where to go.

Whoo!

Level one complete! Power up.

Sorry, how exactly did you do that?

A lucky guess.

Weird place to put a statue.

Ezekiel Lockett, 1781 to 1857.

GABRIEL RATTLES DOOR

What's up with Ezekiel?

Bit of help here?

CAMERA BEEPS, CLICKS

Want to hear a joke?

How many kids does it take to open a door?

One to pick the lock

and the other three to stand around like morons.

You're the one that brought us here?

Clearly not, dude. I'm in the same kayak as you.

Word To The Wise.

Followed you since the station.

12.3 miles.

We were being followed! I knew it.

Why not show your face till now?

I assumed this was a trap and that you would all die horribly.

Nope.

It's a decoy.

The real lock must be hidden.

The metal bloke.

Why is he pointing at the wall?

Not as dumb as you look.

Oh, duh! Totally different colour.

MECHANISM CLICKING

Watch and learn, suckers.

Hey!

I'm awake! I'm awake! I'm aw...

Oh...

Head rush.

Hang on.

Four of yous?

Together already? I wasn't expecting you for hours.

Right, then, give us a hand, would you?

Yeah, right. W-We'll just get on some random boat!

With a weird-looking stranger.

Maybe start with who you are and why we're here.

First one's easy.

I'm Mickey, but I'm not at liberty to tell you the rest.

Just supposed to ferry folk to the island.

What's on the island?

Your future.

But where we were going wasn't just our future.

We were heading for a whole new world

a million miles from the one we knew.

A world I'd never have believed even existed...

...till I saw it with my own two eyes.

Welcome to Crookhaven!

Right, you lot, kindly surrender all electric devices.

Be like cutting my arm off.

Really? That can be arranged, son.

DEVICE BEEPS

Give me it.

Dude, it's a camera.

I'm not going to make any calls on it!

Right, look lively.

Come along, keep it moving!

Let's go!

Looks like some kind of swanky mansion!

But why did boat guy say it's our future?

Guessing it's not a luxury hotel.

No-one else getting major prison vibes?

Now I am.

Right, out.

Horace, get this on charge. Yes, sir.

Let the gaffer know we have all four of his guests...

VOICE FADES

Copy.

Don't just stand about catching flies.

Come on, in you trot.

INDISTINCT CHATTER

Don't touch it.

Look what just crawled in.

Merits. Got to be.

They reek of it.

We should make 'em feel at home.

Hmm.

"The motive governs the means."

Yeah, that's our, um... It's our credo.

Sorry, this... this must all seem very confusing.

Overwhelming, even. Mm, mm-hm.

But come, we'll explain everything.

So, this is a school.

Crookhaven's not just a school.

It's the world's oldest academy for crooks, and the most exclusive.

Mm-hm.

In theory.

TANNOY: All Crooklings must register within five minutes

or we'll assume you're a hostile interloper.

How does this make sense?

I mean, they get us here by threatening to grass us to the cops

and then they want to teach us to be criminals?

Not criminals.

Crooks.

That's the whole point. We only use our skills to do right.

How do I put this in a way that even a Merit can understand?

Um, criminals - baddies. Mm-hm.

Us - goodies.

What's a Merit?

EDGAR SCOFFS Well, it...

WHISPER: Thank you, Edgar.

We'll take it from here.

My pleasure, Whisper. Uh, Miss Jericho.

Always happy to help. See you later.

TANNOY: All Deception classes are cancelled.

With me. This way.

Hold on. Wait a sec.

Did he call you Whisper? Like Whisper Whisper?

We got hacked by a Whisper.

Ain't no other.

For my sins, I teach Cyber Intrusion.

I teach Infiltration.

Sorry, just to be clear, so you use your skills to do right?

Does that mean you work for, like, the Government?

It's a complex symbiosis.

Officially, we don't exist.

Unofficially, we've been vital to global security

for almost 200 years.

Come.

Whoa!

Have we just entered the fifth dimension?

From twins to octuplets, bro! More like quintillion-lets!

Bad enough seeing you guys in one mirror.

This is my own personal hell.

What is this?

We call it the Specularium.

It's a short cut and an escape route,

and a vital training course

to hone your spatial orientation.

An elite crook needs all six senses to be on point.

Why do you need an escape route?

Why wouldn't we?

I still don't get why we're here.

Why us?

The Crooked Complex keeps constant lookout for fresh blood.

The four of you were hand-picked out of thousands for your skills.

Crucially, you guys only ever steal for the right reasons.

This way.

Time to meet the big guy.

My apologies. I had hoped to welcome you in person,

but you completed your tasks far sooner than expected.

Caspian Lockett, your new headmaster.

And of course, I know fine well who you are.

Ade and Ede Okoro,

Jia Ou,

and Gabriel Avery.

May I introduce Mr Khan, our head of Deception.

It was you - the posh bloke.

And you, you weren't even a copper.

That was quite the getaway.

The past 24 hours has been a test.

Happily, you passed.

Here you all are.

TANNOY: Whisper and Miss Jericho to the armoury, please.

You let me think I was going to jail.

That was the idea. You stole from me.

"You stole from me, sir."

You set all that up -

the disguise, the fake cop...

...for me?

We'd have done whatever it took.

Just one thing, Mr Lockett, sir.

We sincerely appreciate the offer,

but our parents aren't exactly going to be down

with the idea of us coming to a school for... crims.

Not crims, gentlemen. Crooks.

Naturally, you will stay undercover for the rest of your lives.

You can't ask us to do that.

For them to learn the truth could be lethal.

We have some very dangerous enemies.

You're concerned about your grandmother.

Don't be. We've spoken.

You've done what?

Same goes for all of you. What did you tell her?

As far as they're concerned,

you're sitting an exam for St Jude's Academy right now.

Should you accept, you'll tell them

you've been offered a full scholarship, starting at once.

Take tonight,

consider carefully.

Yeah, I don't need time to consider.

There's no way I can leave my grandma.

That's not going to happen.

I'll just take my coin and go.

Thanks all the same.

You disappoint me, Mr Avery.

But I'm afraid you can't leave now.

The woods are far from safe after dark.

First thing tomorrow.

Unless you change your mind.

Yeah, I won't.

I can't.

Sir.

TANNOY: Reminder to students in the mess, please recycle all packaging

and return stolen cutlery to the kitchen.

Silverware is not for Skulduggery practice.

I know that look.

I was you once.

But trust me, it's... it's mad how soon it feels like home.

Thanks, but I have a home.

That's Penelope, the ultimate Legacy.

Legacy?

Yeah. You and I, amigo, we're Merits.

We're here for one reason and one reason only -

because we're fire.

Keep telling yourself that, Leon.

But most crooks, like Isabella here, are Legacies.

Our parents or our grandparents were here.

Some of us go back generations.

Seven...

...in my case.

We met earlier. Edgar Delacombe.

This is...

Dorian McCarthur. Only third gen.

And, um, you are?

Gabriel Avery.

A Merit.

Good for you. Look forward to seeing what you can do in class.

Well, I hate to disappoint you, Edgar,

but I won't be sticking around.

Sorry, but you've been offered a place at Crookhaven

and you're going to turn it down

so you can, what, go back to shoplifting?

THEY CHUCKLE Stealing bikes?

That's a good one! All right, Dorian.

It wasn't a joke.

Thanks. Now that I've met you,

I know I've made the right decision.

See, they just walk straight in.

Handed to 'em on a stolen platter.

Big bunch of nepo babies.

That's fundamentally inequitable.

Bro, we're still a part of this.

We get to study Cyber Intrusion and Deception and Skulduggery!

And at the end of it, we get to be a part of a secret network

that's going to make us rich!

You mean help defeat criminals and restore justice.

Yeah, and that too, obviously.

None of you guys bothered by the whole

lying to your families forever thing?

Your grandma know you steal?

Yeah, you're joking.

So what's the difference?

Well, that's a little white lie, and this...

I mean, this would be a whole secret life.

Ain't no way I'm taking top bunk!

You know I hate heights!

Not like I do! Which one of us fainted on the Eiffel Tower, bro?

Only cos you hadn't eaten in, like, an hour.

That doesn't count!

Gabriel, settle this, will you?

Fine.

Heads or tails?

Sir.

Lockett's stolen it again! What is it?

My coin! Why am I the only one he keeps robbing?

Hold the phone.

You're saying the thing you came all this way for,

risked your life for...

...was a coin?

Not just any coin.

Why are you spying on me, Avery?

No, I wasn't spying. I was... What?

Looking for... Who?

Lockett.

Why?

Cos he's a thieving con artist.

Show some respect. That's your headmaster.

Not actually, cos I'm not staying.

So to me he's just some stuck up guy in an itchy suit

who likes playing mind games with kids.

It's pretty messed up when you think about it.

You're talking about the greatest crook of his generation.

Hmm, big whoop. Happy for him.

Do you have any idea how lucky you are to be here?

And you're just going to throw it away.

It's so ungrateful.

So ignorant.

What did they even see in you?

Not bad, to be fair.

But there's something off.

I just can't quite put my...

Thanks, but I don't need a critique from someone like you.

Word of warning, don't go marching up to Lockett's office.

It won't end well for you.

Thanks, but I don't need advice from someone like you.

It's the eyes. They're, um...

...greener in that one.

Evening, Mr Avery.

What do you want with me?

The first time was to get you here, the second time to keep you here.

I already told you, I can't.

How is stealing my coin going to change that?

By showing how much you have to learn.

I know all I need to.

You're a blunt instrument. You didn't pause to consider

why I had taken your coin or the smartest way to retrieve it.

You just went stomping blindly through the school

like a man possessed, telegraphing your weakness.

What weakness?

You see everyone as a threat.

You're a dodgy posh bloke who likes blackmailing kids.

You are a threat.

Coin, please, sir.

I'm not here to threaten you, Gabriel.

I'm here to save you.

Save me from what?

I can't bear to see talent go to waste.

It would be a tragedy for you to spend

the rest of your life as a petty criminal.

Oh, what, when I could come here and be a professional criminal?

Not a criminal, Avery. A crook.

They steal, we restore. They destroy, we repair.

We'll give you the skills to beat criminals at their own game.

Right now, you're good. With our help, you could be great.

Or you could go back to being a nobody.

You don't know what my life is.

On the contrary, I know everything about you,

right down to how much vinegar you like on your chips.

Far too much, in my opinion.

I know you have a deep sense of right and wrong

and I know that you long to save your grandmother

from those despicable Merciers. But tell me this,

how many pockets would you have to pick to buy that caravan by the sea?

How much help would you be in a young offender's institute?

Because the next time you're arrested, it won't be Mr Khan.

My coin.

Now!

Please.

Well, I see I'm not going to change your mind. Um...

Perhaps you should call her.

She'll be worried.

Goodbye... sir.

Why didn't you mention this St Jude's place?

It all happened so fast, I didn't have time to explain.

Well, now you don't have to. Mr Lockett came to see me.

Told me everything.

How he persuaded the police not to press charges,

how he runs a school that turns kids' lives around.

No, that's not true.

Oh, enough, Gabriel.

No more lies.

I found the box in your cupboard.

800 quid of stolen money.

And to think that I fell for all that stuff about scratchcards.

You must think I'm so stupid.

No. No, I just wanted to help.

Help? This could ruin everything.

Grandma, listen.

No. You listen.

You're the one good thing that's happened to me.

The last thing I want is to see you going to some boarding school,

but they offer you a place, then you take it,

for your future's sake.

And what about your future? CALL CUTS OFF

TANNOY: Today's Crooked value is cheating.

Remember, cheat, but never cheat your friends.

Gabriel, wait up.

You are serious, then, about leaving?

I thought maybe it was a bluff for Edgar's benefit.

I promised my grandmother I'd never steal again.

She begged me to stay here.

But staying here means learning to steal, lying to her.

This is Crookhaven, amigo.

Nothing's as simple as right or wrong.

Here we go. See?

Water's not so frightening, huh?

There you go, Amira. Back on solid ground.

Best of luck now. You keep that chin up.

Come on. It's time to watch the baby Crooklings embarrass themselves.

What does she mean?

Oh, the Crooked Oak. Trust me, you don't want to miss this.

You can get the boat later if you still want to leave.

I thought you weren't sticking around.

Haven't made up my mind.

Well, you'd better decide soon,

cos once your arrow hits the oak, there's no going back.

For what it's worth,

I really hope you stay.

Reverse psychology, right?

Edgar, look. Look. Isn't that...?

Amira Dhawan.

When did she arrive?

Never thought she had the nerve to show her face.

Her brother is a traitor.

Shocking.

Crooklings, my name is Mr Velasquez.

It's my honour to teach Skullduggery.

You stand where I once stood

at the start of a long and crooked path.

Once you become Crooklings,

you will be bound by our sacred values.

Steal, but not from those in need.

Cheat, but never cheat your friends.

Lie, but never to yourself.

From this moment, you are all in competition for this -

the Crooked Cup.

A chance to have your name engraved

beside the greatest crooks in history.

CHEERING

For a young crook, there is no higher honour,

no greater way to announce yourself as a talent to be reckoned with.

Every Delacombe's won it since 1910.

Dad's had me practising five years for this. I won't let him down.

It's yours to lose, Edgar.

Last holidays, I helped put some bad people away.

Never known a feeling like it.

To this day, each new Crookling accepts their place

by firing a silver-tipped arrow

with your name inscribed upon it.

How are we supposed to bust out some mad archery skills?!

The motive governs the means, Gabriel.

It's not about...

It's not about what you do. It's about why.

And whoever comes closest to hitting Ezekiel's original arrowhead

will win themselves five Crooked points.

But because we are a soft touch, we will allow you the best of two.

So, Crooklings,

step forward and collect your arrow.

Good luck.

May your aim be true.

I want you to know your name is poison

and your presence is an insult.

I'm guessing you're Edgar Delacombe.

They warned me about you.

They were right to.

Made a decision yet?

Guess.

LAUGHTER

MISS JERICHO: Oh, dear. Wrong tree, Mr Okoro.

After that shockingly poor start,

let's hope the next two Crooklings fare better.

Hey! A-At least we hit a tree!

Our next two Crooklings are, um...

...Penelope Lockett... Yes, Penelope! Come on, Penelope!

Lockett? As in...?

As in the headmaster's daughter.

...and Gabriel Avery.

So, we have a Merit versus a Legacy.

I thought we agreed.

Raw talent needs nurturing, Diego.

This is the best place for him.

Let's be honest, it's you against me.

A Merit doesn't stand a chance.

Neither do you, Edgar.

Please, step forward.

Ever held a bow before?

How hard can it be?

Make me proud.

When have I not?

APPLAUSE Whoa! Nice, Penelope!

Penelope, please retrieve your arrow.

She's good.

I'm better.

LAUGHTER

WHOOPING

LAUGHTER

How hard can it be?

Our next two Crooklings are...

...Edgar Delacombe and Jia Ou.

Shall I show you how to hold it?

No, I'll figure it out.

I'm Chinese, doofus. Archery's in my DNA.

Brava, Jia!

A remarkable first shot, especially for a Merit.

A little wide.

That's the breeze. I'll recalibrate.

You can't get beat by a Merit!

Come on, Edgar!

Woo!

VOICE ECHOES: You can't get beat by a Merit!

SHE YELPS

What the hell, Dhawan?!

You were aiming right at her!

I-I was lining up the target!

You made me shoot when you barged into me!

Y-You'd never shoot someone on purpose!

I guess the rumours about you are true. You are no Legacy.

Arrow! Bring me Jia's arrow.

Stay where you are.

Move. Move!

JIA BREATHES RAGGEDLY

OK, look at me. Look at me, look at me.

You OK?

You OK? I'm OK, I'm fine. You sure?

Good girl. Here.

I'm afraid after that unedifying spectacle,

Amira has forfeited her turn.

Interfering with another Crookling's shot is strictly forbidden.

I mean, you can't be serious.

Delacombe's the one who should be disqualified.

He tried to shoot Jia.

Amira's the one who saved her.

Hey, don't be a bad sport, Gabriel,

just cos your arrow barely hit the tree.

It was an accident. Dhawan knocked into me.

SHE BREATHES RAGGEDLY

CROWD MURMUR

Go on, Edgar!

Yes!

Great shot, Edgar!

I believe our winner is Edgar Delacombe.

I wouldn't be so sure.

Meaning?

Did you check the name on the arrow before you fired it?

Mr Lockett, sir, y-you can't...

The name on the arrow is...

...Gabriel Avery.

ALL GASP

I want you to know your name is poison

and your presence is an insult.

I'm guessing you're Edgar Delacombe.

They warned me about you.

Headmaster.

The rules state

the arrow closest to the mark wins.

This arrow has Gabriel Avery's name on it.

MURMURS AND APPLAUSE

Don't be a bad sport, Edgar,

just cos your arrow barely hit the tree.

That's not fair! He's making a mockery out of the Crooked Oak.

How can you let him do this?

He beat you. Deal with it.

Oh, I'll deal with it.

So, you're staying?

Looks that way.

And all it took was me almost getting shot.

TANNOY: Goodnight, Crookhaven. Sweet dreams.

DISTORTED VOICE: Another year begins, Caspian.

Another class of eager young Crooklings for you to brainwash.

But a word to the wise...

There's a storm coming.

A storm you can't escape.

And you only have yourself to blame.

So that's how it all began.

I picked his pocket, he picked mine.

I went to get my lucky coin back

and next thing I knew I was a Crookling.

New tie, new jacket, new life.

It felt like maybe my lucky coin had finally brought me some real luck.

Except of course it wasn't luck that brought me here, was it?

It was Caspian Lockett.

And when your headmaster and everyone in your school is a crook,

the first lesson you learn...

...trust no-one.

What has Caspian started?

You're not one of us. You don't belong here.

I have to utterly humiliate him.

I'm not here to make friends. I'm here to win.

Game on.

There's a storm coming.

The Nameless.

What's the Nameless?

An enemy that hates everything Crookhaven stands for.

You put the entire Crooked network in danger!

ALARM BLARES

Gabriel, get out!

They already have our blood on their hands,

and they'll burn this place to the ground.

Listen up losers, we need your help.

Crooklings assemble!

Leaving so soon?

I thought I was here because I was good!

This is Crookhaven. Everyone's hiding something.

SHE SCREAMS

We're crooks. Honesty's overrated.

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0