Original subtitles

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Well, we back in Fullerton.

And I know this.

These units better be full of a ton of good stuff,

or I'm full of done in Fullerton.

Because there's a lot of fool's golds in Fullerton.

♪ Well, I'm up to Fullerton ♪

♪ I hope there is a lot of stuff in Fullerton ♪

♪ If not, I'm done with Fullerton ♪

♪ I don't know what's wrong with me ♪

[dramatic tone]

♪ ♪

announcer: When storage units are abandoned--

- Oh, look at this one. - Whoo!

announcer: The treasures within--

- [laughs] - Whoo!

announcer: Are put up for auction.

- I think I scored on this.

- Sold it your way. - Whoo!

- 400.

- Oof.

- [laughs]

- ♪ Money owns this town ♪

- M-O-N-E-Y.

- Are you ready?

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- I'm going to Fullerton, California,

home of Dusty the Fool.

He gives me a hard time when he come to my house.

I'm gonna give him a harder time when I go to his house.

I'm gonna make sure that fool, Dusty, pays in full.

I'll take cash, card, or a couple of teeth.

Guess what. The butt kicking is coming.

Pity the fool.

Pity that fool.

Pity that long-haired

♪ Fool ♪

Dusty, where the hell you stay at?

♪ ♪

- Nothing is better than an auction close to home.

- I know.

- Today, you can go crazy.

Buy whatever you want.

Buy them all.

- Don't tempt me with a good time.

Buy whatever I want?

You know I can't resist that kind of sweet talk.

I love it when you encourage my inner demon

to come out, my inner auction demon.

- Go crazy.

[laughs]

- [sighs]

I feel like I shouldn't have gotten out of bed this morning.

Overslept, didn't hear my alarm.

Stepped in cat vomit, then realized

I ran out of toilet paper.

So the only thing I could find was a coffee filter.

And ends up it was the last coffee filter.

So I didn't have coffee this morning.

I'm annoyed at myself.

Actually, I'm peeved.

But you know what?

The day can't get any worse.

Right?

My needs are very simple.

I just need one good thing to happen,

and it'll turn my day around.

♪ ♪

Somebody's big old truck door is in my way.

Come on, man.

♪ ♪

Yo.

Yo, Ivy?

- Huh?

- I can't get in.

- $5.

I charge to close my doors.

- Sorry. Was I being rude?

- $5.

- I'm sorry if I was rude.

I've had a morning.

- All right, let's go, Lupe.

- So what are you gonna do?

You're gonna pound them?

- My inner auction demon has been exposed.

- Uh-oh, there goes Dustems.

- Y'all step aside 'cause that's my target, right there.

- We gotta watch out for the Ivy triangle

because we will get

caught up in that [bleep]. - Yeah.

- So we gotta avoid it like the Bermuda Triangle.

- Ooh, competition.

- Always more competition.

- Force field, force field. - Force field?

- Force field.

- What, did you order that shirt off of Temu?

- I like that shirt.

- What's wrong with Temu?

Obviously, Lupe knows more about fashion than Dusty.

- Welcome to Fullerton.

Remember, you're the king of over there.

I'm the king of over here.

You have just been demoted to peasant when you come here.

- Oh, [bleep], here we go.

Fighting words.

- I thought we were here.

This was your spot.

- Yeah, you notice how I don't see any pigeons flying around?

- That's a bad thing.

Ain't no wild animals.

- In this corner.

[laughs]

I see them daggers in Dustem's eyes,

and Kenny don't want no part of that battle royale over there.

Mm-mm.

♪ ♪

- Yay!

Dan and Laura are here. Yay.

- Hi, folks.

- What's up, girl?

- We're just a little bit late.

- A lot a bit late. - Yes.

Well, it's our anniversary.

So we're just celebrating.

[cheering]

31 years ago.

Yes.

Yes, I walked into an auction,

and he's been blasting me ever since.

[laughter]

- He's been doing what to you ever since?

- Where'd you get that shirt?

- It has your name on it.

- Faces of Ivy Calvin.

- Wow.

- Ivy, smile.

Let's get a glamour shot.

[shutter clicks]

- Ooh.

Wow, Ivy, I like it.

- What you pointing at? - Ivy.

- OK.

You got me worried again.

- Welcome to the auction.

We're Dan and Laura Dotson with American Auctioneers.

Before you go through these gates,

you need to know the rules.

I'm gonna go to the unit, remove the lock, open the door,

give you five minutes to take a look around.

You can't go inside.

You can't open any boxes.

And whosever got the most money in their pocket

can own it today. Are you ready?

all: Yeah!

- Let's go, let's go, let's go!

- This way. Let's go!

- Follow me.

- Whoo-hoo!

We're gonna go to the E building.

- We gotta use the elevators?

- Gonna go right up to the third floor.

- Is it because it's our anniversary,

we get to take the elevator?

- I'm spoiling-- spoiling you, babe.

- Thank you.

All right. All right.

- That's what I'm talking about.

- Oh, wow. - What's that?

- That's neat.

Is that a e-bike?

♪ ♪

I like this e-bike.

I saw somebody riding one recently, an old woman.

And I thought if an old woman can ride one, I can ride one.

Plenty of bins and boxes.

There could be something good in here,

and I like that it's teensy.

All right.

Since the universe decided to punk me this morning,

I'm gonna need some positive vibes

to get me out of this funk.

I could use a little good luck today.

So if you want to help me--

I don't know how.

- This is my lucky thing.

Go ahead.

Give it to me.

- Thank you. Thank you.

- You're welcome.

Believe it or not, these hands got me where

I'm at today, especially you.

- All right, all right.

Is this worth anything?

- What about the clothes on the totes?

- Clothes, printers.

There's a table saw.

But I feel like there's better things on the horizon.

- We got a foldable e-bike.

Looks like it might be the charger in there

with the fat cat tires, which is cool.

Got a table saw down there, which I like,

and a few tools in the background.

I'm gonna bid.

I ain't gonna go crazy, though, because e-bikes,

sometimes the batteries go bad

and you don't make enough money.

- I like everything he said right there.

He's really good.

He gave an in-depth description.

Seems like everybody wants this e-bike.

But what I know, you can't go through the drive-thru

on this thing.

- Why you got that resting bitch face on, Ivy?

Better put a smile on.

Eye of the tiger. There you go.

- Alrighty, here we go.

Got a nice little bike unit.

Here we go, number 21.

- 7 1/2 by 10.

- I got 100 right there. 125.

And how about that? 150.

- Right here. She's in.

- Want to bid 200? - Yes.

- 225.

250 there. 250. 250.

There's 275. - Yes.

- 275. - Yes.

- [auctioneering] Bid 300.

I got 275. Want to bid 3?

3 where? - Right up front.

- 325. 350.

I'm at 350 now.

I got 350. 375.

- Who you waving at, Dusty?

- You're in my zip code now.

Inflation hits different here.

- And 400. [auctioneering]

400, you in? 425 now.

I got 400. 425.

450. 450.

How about that? 450.

- [bleep] Come on, Lisa.

- 450, 475.

Now 500.

- Oh, no.

- I got 500 bucks. 525. 550.

How 'bout 550?

I got 525.

550 going once. At 550, 550, 550.

- Right here. - Whoo.

Party over, Lisa.

- We can get Lisa and Ivy at the same time.

- 600 bucks going once. 600.

625. I got 625 there.

650. Bid 650.

675.

7, 7, 7. - Yes, yes.

700 right here.

- 725.

725. 750.

750. Bid 750.

I've got 800 there. 825 now.

- Who is that?

- 825 now.

825, you in.

825, 825, going once.

825.

- I'm out. Too much.

- $825.

Sold it your way.

You got it, Ivy Calvin. $800, 800.

- Ivy.

- Shoulda known.

Shoulda known.

[cheers and applause]

Why is everybody cheering for him?

- Whoo!

- Like I said, I pity the fool that bid against me.

I like Lisa, but business is business.

- Are you ready, folks?

Come on, now.

All right, nice little unit.

♪ ♪

- Yeah, I like the totes at the top.

They got the love seat up in here.

We got Willie Nelson right "chere."

- Oh, gimme a little.

- ♪ I've been walking around them trees ♪

♪ And I'm gon' bid on these because I like that guitar ♪

- Ooh, a nice welder.

Display case.

A little bit of tools.

I'm in.

- Wow, musical instrument.

Is that a good one? - No.

I mean, there's some extensions.

I don't think this is for us. - No? OK.

- No, no, no, no.

- All right, I thought I was gonna have to wait

forever to see this locker.

There are a lot of totes.

I like the mystery.

I just need-- I just need one good thing today.

- OK. - All right?

- And patience.

- I need some patience.

Please let this locker be the one thing

to turn this bad mojo around.

How's it going with your target?

- Yeah.

I got my eye on him.

- Hey, I see you down there.

[tense music]

♪ ♪

- All right, I got a nice little lover's unit.

It's 7 1/2 by 10.

And if you're ready to go, I'm ready to go.

And here we go.

Number 20, what's your pleasure?

[auctioneering] - $50.

- I got 50 bucks. 75 where?

Want to bid 75? [auctioneering]

100 there. 125.

125 there.

- Whoo-hoo. - How about that?

[auctioneering]

150, 175.

Want to bid 200 there. 225.

25 gets your there.

250. 250.

275? I get 250.

275. 275.

- Now I'm in the race.

- 325.

Want to bid 325? I've got 300 there.

325. You in?

325. - I'm in.

- 325 there. And 350 there.

75, you're out again. 375.

How about that? I got 350.

- What number are we on?

- 375 going once.

75, 75, 375. Going twice.

Last time.

Time to call it. $375. Got to go.

Guess what?

You know I'm at 350.

375, you're out. All in?

All through, all through, all done tonight.

Sold it your way.

- Ahh, what up? - Kenny.

- Whoo!

You got it, Kenny.

- Them sharks out to get me.

Well, except for Lisa.

- It wasn't meant to be for me.

- Sorry, Lisans.

- No.

I'm happy you're happy.

- Now let's see what Kenny done got, America.

All right, I'm gonna start with the banjo last.

All right? Kumbaya.

So let's go through here.

They been sitting for a long time.

About 459 farts right "chere," boy.

[makes fart sound]

Let's go right "chere."

These tools here are for somebody

who knows what they doing.

See, this right "chere"?

I don't know what it is, but somebody will know.

Look at this, drill.

They got money in here.

I say this is about like a $20 basket.

Mm.

Toolbox.

You got a soldering iron.

Ain't no way. Look at this one.

LL Cool J's.

Daddy said what.

[hip-hop music]

[record scratch]

This about $15, huh?

♪ ♪

Ooh, this [bleep] heavy.

Oh, man.

They made the pyramids with these things.

I say about $35 worth of tools right "chere."

Let's turn this around.

♪ ♪

You know the word of the day is?

I reckon.

♪ ♪

What we got here?

These is old raggedy-ass shoes.

They look like they walk from here to Vegas.

Ain't nobody wearing that [bleep].

Now, this is kind of amazing here.

It's a MIG welder.

But the wires are all clipped.

$25.

Look at this.

This is a basket of tools, America.

Look at that. $25 for this whole thing.

Look at this.

Oh, we got a jacket.

Look at me.

Safety first.

I bet you ain't never seen a cowboy like this.

♪ ♪

Yeah, look at this.

We got a-- yeah, it's stripping your ass up.

I mean, stripping some wood up.

I'd say about $15 right there.

Value of junk, no monies.

We got motor oil.

It's called AFT WS.

$5 a bottle.

I got 10 of them.

And we got the TV, $40.

Price of this here, banjo, I'm taking him home with me.

[dissonant chord plays]

Say about 15 big ones right here.

So beautiful, ain't it?

All right, here we go.

♪ ♪

Ooh, it's heavy too.

Whoa!

♪ ♪

[dramatic music]

- All right, here we go.

♪ ♪

Whoa!

♪ ♪

I'm fast.

Ain't I fast?

I know you was sweating, huh?

Let's see.

♪ ♪

You mean I almost killed myself for this old-ass [bleep], bro?

Rocks.

Look at this, bro.

You ain't got no normal rock on Earth

like this, unless they come from Pluto.

♪ ♪

This [bleep], bro.

Hold on. What is this?

Oh, a harmonica.

How you open you?

Oh, we gonna work it out.

New music coming soon.

[plays tune]

Oh.

It got a rope.

Like a low-key Slinky.

[plays tune]

♪ ♪

[vocalizes]

Keep you right there.

Oh, we got another one!

I see the cowboy boots.

I say about 45 big ones.

And the "orcordion."

I love this musical stuff, bro.

Yeah, you go right with your brother.

We gonna take both of y'all and see if y'all get adopted.

I need to find me somebody who could price these accordion-ly

♪ ♪

Where the hell were you when I was trying to drop

them boxes from up there?

See?

No money.

Got some more hillbilly gem stuff.

♪ ♪

Some more cowboy boots here, boy.

Look at that, size 4.

Four pairs.

This here probably about $100 worth of shoes right here.

Memory cards, 128 gigabytes.

Somebody looking for some gigabytes.

15 bucks each.

75 big ones.

I gotta get back to the office,

but Kenny done made his money back.

It looks like he gonna start a band too.

[plays tune]

♪ ♪

- Next unit this way.

- Here we go. Follow us.

- I'm coming.

- You're doing great. You're doing great.

You know what?

You probably just suck.

You're gonna get a locker.

Everything's fine.

We all have bad days.

You're never gonna win.

You're always gonna be an amateur.

And you might as well have just stayed in bed today.

- Lisa, are you OK?

I see you talking to yourself.

- I didn't know anyone was around.

- I was like, what's wrong?

Do you need-- do you need good luck?

- You're a good friend. - Here you go.

- Oh.

You're giving me an umbrella? - For good luck.

- You knew I needed one. - Yeah.

- If this isn't a sign of good luck,

I really need to start bringing my lucky penny.

- Small door, big score.

- Ooh, I like that.

- Ooh.

♪ ♪

- Beer making kit.

Ooh, it's got beer bottles.

I like my beer cold and already made.

If I have to make it, it ain't worth drinking.

No, thank you.

I'm more of a whiskey drinker myself,

so I'll let another fool take this one.

- Is this, like, for people that make beer?

- Yeah, it's beer brewing stuff.

- Is that worth anything?

- This looks like one of the buy-at-home kits.

So I'm gonna say that it's low-quality equipment.

- Beer ingredients kit.

Boy, y'all can make some money.

Give Kid Rock a run for his moneys.

- There you go.

That could be your next thing. Kenny Beer.

- It's gonna be called Kenny Do It Beer.

- It's a brewing kit.

- You can have your own brand of beer.

- Do you like beer? - I do.

I like beer. - OK.

All right.

- And I also like vacuum cleaners.

Isn't that funny?

- We got everything you need right here.

Just go ahead and figure that out.

We're gonna sell it right now.

- She gonna be sucking beer and sucking with the vacuum.

Oh, sucking dirt, sucking beer.

- Sucking beer and sucking dirt.

- [laughs]

- Sounds like a party. All right, here we go.

What are you gonna pay for the little brewer's unit?

Start them in. You want to go 20?

- 5 by 5. - I got 25 here.

50, 50 where? - Are we bidding here?

What's happening?

- 75, 75, 75.

We're at 50 bucks. I hear 75.

- [blows whistle] - 75 going once.

- Oh, I heard a whistle.

- She's at 50 bucks.

- That was me.

- 75 right there. - I heard it.

- And $100 right behind you.

I got one there.

- Lisa's in. - 125.

Going once.

And at 125 now.

I got you at 100. 100 bucks.

125 going twice.

About to call it. 125.

Sold it your way.

Lisa, $100.

- Lisa!

- Apparently, things can turn around.

All I needed was a lucky umbrella and a beer making kit.

Ooh, I just thought Bad Mojo would

be the best name for a beer.

Bad Mojo Brew.

- 10 by 30, folks.

OK.

Oh, wow.

Haberdashery.

- Uh-oh.

♪ ♪

- Oh, they gonna go crazy.

- Get out.

Get out.

- No. [chuckling]

- Oh, no.

This is-- Lupe.

- That has my name all over it.

- No, it has my name all over it.

Oh, no.

- Clothing racks, shipping boxes, clothes, suitcases.

If you're a clothing person, this is for you.

But since I'm not, this stuff isn't my style.

After all, I am a designer now.

But I ain't letting it go easy.

- Sorry, there's a little bit of drool

coming out of my mouth.

Oh, I can see stuff from the '50s, '60s, '70s.

I should have brought more cash.

- See that jacket right there, the mink coat?

I like that one.

But I know who's gonna go for this.

This is like Fullerton's gold right "chere."

- Looks like maybe '70s, '80s, '90s because of the patterns.

Are those sewing machines?

Mannequins.

- This is our city.

- All righty, there you go.

Nice 10-by-30 unit. Here we go, number 20.

What's your pleasure? What are you gonna pay?

- 500. - I got 500.

Give me 750 where?

I got 750. $1,000.

Give me 1,250 where? I got 1,000.

1,250.

Wanna bid 1,500? 1,500?

- No, no. - 1,500.

How about that?

I got 1,250 going once,

- 1,350. How about that?

1,350 right there.

How about 1,450?

Want to bid 1,550?

- Don't stop. Don't stop.

- I knew he would go.

- 1,750.

1,750 going once.

1,650. 1,750.

Going twice. - Don't do it.

- 1,350 right there.

What about 1,450? 1,550?

- Don't stop. Don't stop.

- I knew he would go.

- 1,750.

What about 1,750 going once.

1,670. 1,750.

Going twice.

- Don't do it.

- At 1,750 bucks now.

Sold it your way. $1,650 to Lupe.

- Yay!

- Thank you for your help.

- Folks, that's the end of the auction,

and don't forget to pay the lady.

See you in the office, everyone.

Thank you.

- How long have you been waiting for one of these

to pop up at an auction that we went to?

- A long time.

I can't wait to go through the racks.

- I bet.

♪ ♪

- All righty.

I came to Dusty's backyard and scored

this awesome e-bike locker.

Time to kick up some dust and leave him behind.

Well, the number-one reason I bought this

is because of the bike.

These are super expensive.

[grunts]

Got adjustable everything, it looks like.

Big old fat boy tires.

Let's see if she powers up.

Look like we're out of power.

So we got a charger too.

Sounds like the charger is not here.

Amazon will find one for us.

Oh, man, the battery's missing.

Oh, man.

Well, I thought it was gonna be 800,

but it looks like it's gonna be about 300.

Maybe I should have paid less attention to Dusty

and more attention to the locker.

My favorite place to shop, Ross.

Oh, man.

Clothes, clothes, clothes.

No money.

Ooh, smelly clothes.

Looks like a clothes hamper with clothes.

Let's see.

Clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes.

No money.

All right, we got a saw here.

Little baby table saw.

Ridgid brand.

25 bucks.

Eenie meenie miney moe.

All righty, let's see what we got.

Ooh, these, I love them.

Oh, man, it's a fake one.

I like when they're the iron little ones.

You go camping.

♪ ♪

Sterilizing.

Looks brand new.

OK, $20 on this one, including tote.

♪ ♪

All right, where we at?

Clothes, clothes.

Clothes.

No money!

Oh, and that's so light.

Nothing light is worth money.

♪ ♪

Open sesame.

Ooh, it smells great in here like color crayons.

Ooh, here we go.

There's a nice little find.

It's probably 1950s, easy.

All iron, hard rubber wheels.

Great iron axles.

This has got to be the find of the day.

And I'm gonna put you in a safe space.

Park you right there.

Don't forget your trailer.

Oh, let me see.

Land Cruiser Auto Set.

It even looks like an older box.

Pretty cool.

Not a bad find.

Moving on.

Ooh, it's getting better in here.

Oh, yes.

Old toys.

All iron.

Spring head's coming up.

Old rubber wheels that are working.

Man, everything in there but the driver.

Oh, man, look at this one.

The hard part is telling the real from the fake.

If I got real, guaranteed money--

I just don't know how much.

Ooh.

Toys aren't my specialty.

But I know just the right person that can tell me

what they're actually worth.

Ooh, wow, we got a big old piece of fencing.

40 bucks right there, easy.

Brand new, unused.

DeWalt air compressor looks to be in great condition,

50 bucks.

Nails, 20 bucks.

Air hose for the compressor.

Good one here. Another 20 bucks.

And they're totally expensive.

All right, right here, more nails and screws.

These are very expensive if you have to buy them.

This whole entire set of three boxes--

75 bucks.

Ooh, right on.

Paint mixer, 60 bucks.

Man, I haven't even made my money back.

No money, no money.

Definitely no money.

This is what happens when you have too many margaritas.

♪ ♪

Clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes.

And the last box of today--

dishes.

Man, I was hoping with this unit and that bike,

it would be the easy ride to the profit zone.

But without the battery, I'm stuck.

Maybe these cars will steer me in the right direction.

Stupid Dusty.

You guys better be good.

Man, now I really can't stand him.

Dusty the Fool.

♪ ♪

- Are you ready?

- I can't contain your excitement.

- I'm super excited.

I've been waiting years for a locker like this.

It's like Christmas and my birthday all rolled into one.

- Oh, wow, you're diving right in.

- Oh, yeah.

Ooh, look at this one.

I can see, like, Taylor Swift on a show.

I don't know, maybe, like, '80s.

But I'm seeing a lot of modern.

- What do you consider modern?

- Well, anything that's like 2015 to current.

- 2010 already vintage?

- That would be vintage, in my eyes.

- I'm getting the full education right now.

- Oh, yes.

These look like dead stocks.

Dead stocks means that it's still got the tags.

It's never been worn.

These look good.

Maybe '80s.

So I mean, looking at this rack, at least $500.

It rolls.

It rolls.

I'm trying to see if I see anything that

pops out at me with color.

A lot of '70s.

But either way, it's another $500.

- This rack, it's kind of cool.

One side's for dresses, one side's for something else.

- Wow.

With all these, $500.

I might keep the rack, though.

- Oh, look, a lot of denim.

You love denim.

- Ooh, they're jackets.

At least 200.

- All right, Lupe, I got a nice rack coming out.

- Ooh.

I see color.

- This one?

- This one.

- Wow.

- This is psychedelic.

Very funky, fresh.

So I'm liking this rack much more

because the pieces are older.

At least $800.

- Oh, my gosh.

Lupe, there's so much stuff back here.

- Wait, it's my locker.

Don't look without me.

- Wait, I thought this was our locker?

Lupe's on, like, a clothing power trip.

- Let me see.

I found a nice one.

- Is it suede? - Suede, yeah.

These are nice too. Levi's.

- Look at the pattern. They're great.

- I'm liking this rack.

$800.

Find me some more.

- Wow, look at all the denim.

- Yeah, shorts.

Good sizes.

At least 200.

- Are those jackets?

- 100.

OK, find me some more.

- [grunts]

- Ooh, more on this side.

- Ask and you shall receive.

Lupe, I found more.

- Why did you throw it on my head?

- I'm sorry, I dropped it.

[dramatic music]

- OK, find me some more.

- Lupe, I found more.

- Why'd you throw it on my head?

- I'm sorry. I dropped it.

I'm excited for you.

- Toss it to the side.

I was gonna say she color coordinated everything

because these are all greens.

- She's, like, your spirit animal, organized.

- Very organized.

Well, until you tossed stuff on top of it.

- I'm sorry.

- I mean, at least what I'm seeing is a mix

of '50s and '60s, maybe some moderns.

I don't know.

I say at least $500.

- That's a lot of clothes. - Yeah.

- Ooh, look.

I think you're ready to scarf up some more profit.

- Ooh, these are easy to sell.

- Look at the print.

This is great.

- Look at the print on all of these.

How many tubs do we have?

One, two, three, four, five, six.

I usually do like $5.

- There's more than 100 here, guaranteed.

It's all just printing money at this point.

- It's like finding gold.

- I think you got your money back off of like two

or three racks of clothes.

- And we have so much to go through.

- It's absolutely insane.

It just keeps going and going.

Lupe and I already doubled our money.

But this fashion gold mine is gonna

take us a while to go through.

Let's take a breather.

- All right.

I saw Dusty and Lupe going through their monster locker.

I'm gonna take a quick look at mine

and see if I can sneak on over there.

All right, let's get in here.

First of all, what's this?

Pretty new looking monitor.

All right, 40 bucks for that.

Dirt Devil.

I'm sure it's a perfectly good vacuum.

20 bucks.

Now, we got the basic beer making kit.

Let's just make sure that it is as advertised.

Sure enough, looks like we got the parts.

The hose.

We got the jug.

[blowing air]

OK, fine, don't make the whistle noise.

What do we got?

OK, we got the bottles.

Listen, you can't just sell liquid loose.

You got to put it in a container.

So 12 bottles of beer on the wall.

♪ ♪

Oh, here, we got the flavor packets.

Ooh, grapefruit pulping.

I love a fruity beer.

Oh, that's malt. Malted barley, baby.

Crushed malt, caramel malt.

I don't know if this malt shake is gonna bring

any boys to the yard, but hey.

I think we have enough malt already.

Jeez.

Ease up on the malt, guys.

And it looks like we have a big ol' cooking pot

to stir my witch's brew.

This is really a nice hand truck, to be honest.

There, see?

See what you do?

You see how-- you see how you do with a hand truck?

Oh, my dad would be real proud of me right now.

40 bucks for the hand truck.

Brand new.

OK, another 24 bottles of beer on the wall right here.

Oh, look, it has all the caps too.

And that's no cap.

OK.

Here, we got another box.

Popper.

I don't know what part of the process this is,

but it's cool looking.

Optimizing your chiller.

Care for your chiller.

OK, we got one chiller.

Super cool.

Moving on.

Buckets, buckets o' beer.

I don't know for sure, but it looks like I have all

the parts to make some beer.

I just have to figure out how to do it.

I'm not saying it's gonna be good,

but I'll just wing it and hope for a "brewtiful" outcome.

Look, we got three-step instructions right here.

I can read.

♪ ♪

- Ooh, look at this one.

- Wow, Lupe. Look at all this stuff.

It's incredible.

Lupe and I are only halfway through this unit,

and we've already racked up another 3,000 in clothes.

- I'm seeing a lot of $20 pieces.

- One wall to another.

- I would say like $2,000.

- Look at that.

- More colorful pieces.

$20, $30, $50, $60.

I would say easily like $4,000, easily.

So that's really great. - That's a lot of money.

That's great. - Yes.

♪ ♪

- [gasps] Oh, yes.

- Is that Lisa looking at my stuff?

- Look at that. - Oh.

Do we have other auction buyers just snooping

on our fine merchandise?

- Wow, I feel like I've died and gone to vintage heaven.

Sorry.

- She's already shopping. I mean.

- Who wouldn't stop by?

It's like window shopping without the windows.

You know what I mean? - There's a lot of stuff.

You want to help? - You need some help?

- Yeah, yeah.

- It's perfect timing because I need to use the restroom.

- Really? - Yeah, totally.

- Get out of here, Dusty.

- Thanks for tagging in, Lisa.

I've hit my fashion limit for today.

- This jumpsuit's fantastic.

Small size. - You wear a lot of jumpsuits.

What do you usually pay for them?

- I love a onesie.

I mean, $75.

- That's what I was thinking.

This rack here, this rack here, and this rack here,

I was just gonna do a 3,000.

- Yeah, easy.

- Easy.

With all these great pieces.

Look at these pants.

I'm seeing the color.

They're like '70s.

- Yeah, these are amazing.

Should I try these on?

- You should try them on.

Hey, those look good on you. - Right?

- Yeah, do a little twirl.

- They kind of fit me perfectly.

- They do.

Ooh, that looks good.

How do you feel?

You like it?

I like the socks too with it.

- Kind of obsessed with it.

Yeah, the socks match.

Of course, they do.

- Wow.

All right.

Do a little turn.

Love it.

You're a natural model.

Nice.

That looks good on you.

Have you modeled before?

Ooh.

- Fits me like a glove, doesn't it?

- Hey, it actually doesn't look bad.

Have you hunted before?

- Only for treasures, baby.

♪ ♪

Howdy.

[mellow acoustic music]

- Ah, follow me everywhere I go.

Get home, guys.

Feed you when I get home.

[sighs]

Pets.

I'm at Antique Asylum, meeting with owner

and longtime friend, Julie Rothman.

Good morning, good morning. - Hey, Ivy.

How's it going? - More stuff.

Let's see if she can tell me more about these toys I found.

- Looks like you got a pretty good collection.

I believe these are Wyandotte. - What do you call it?

- Wyandotte. - Wyandotte.

- So Wyandotte started in 1919 in Michigan.

They originally made pop guns, cap guns, other smaller toys.

Their slogan was "every boy wants a pop gun."

- That's a true slogan too. - Yeah, right?

And then they moved on in the '30s

to pressed steel production.

They took scrap metal, and they used that to cut down costs.

These were mainly sold in, like, dime stores.

So everyone could afford it.

- So it's kind of, like, recycled?

- It is recycled. - Ah.

- And then during World War II,

they stopped making toys because all the steel

was used for the war effort.

And then, of course, plastics came into the picture,

and goodbye, Wyandotte Toys.

- So basically put them out of business.

- Yeah.

- Now, did they have that actual color?

Because these are kind of weird colored.

- This is super '30s.

Even, like, kitchenware and stuff like that

was made in this color.

It was pretty hot in that day.

- OK.

- So this is a little dump truck.

And, of course, they're not marked because that

wasn't a thing back then.

This is probably mid-'30s, I would say.

It's nice.

In pretty good condition.

And then this is--

- Jet bomber.

- Planes, they're not always as popular as vehicles,

but it's modeled after the Lockheed Vega.

- Another funky color, black and red.

- This is orange. - Oh.

I don't know. I don't know.

OK.

Sorry, folks, I'm colorblind.

To me, that's red.

All right, the big truck.

- The big truck.

The dump works. That's good.

A few little paint problems.

Really in pretty good shape for that age.

And then this.

Box is a little thrashed,

but collectors love boxes, regardless.

- You don't have to tell me twice.

This box is never getting tossed.

- Right.

So this is the Land Cruiser.

- So that's the Land Cruiser. What's that?

- This is part of it.

It's a Land Cruiser because you could go land cruising

and have your little trailer.

- Ah.

- Yeah, so this is super nice paint.

You know, all the little doors work.

- Well, that's sweet. So now we go in from the side.

Back then, they went in from the back.

- Yeah, exactly.

- I looked all over these things,

and I couldn't find a name nowhere.

How you know this is Wyandotte?

- Wyandotte actually made the vehicles

to model current vehicles.

They made it with nice, thick steel.

So they were sturdier.

They did an enamel paint.

And this is a big clue, Wyandotte Toys.

- Oh, man, I looked everywhere.

I couldn't find that name.

I guess it would have been good to look at the box.

- Right?

Oh, look, it even says Wyandotte Toys

on the wheel there. - Man!

I need to get my glasses on.

- Right? Yeah.

- OK, that one's not my fault.

You see how tiny those letters were?

OK, the magic question.

How much do I have for everything here?

- Well, condition's good on all of them, pretty much.

This one's a little more scraped up, but still--

still, they're great for their age.

♪ ♪

I'm gonna say 1,100.

- Whoo. Thank you, thank you.

That takes the pressure off.

I'm finally in the profit.

Thank goodness for that.

Turns out, toy trucks know how to dump cash too.

- So what color is it to you?

- Like, green. - It's green.

- Hey, see that? - Light green.

Very good.

- I don't get it right all the time.

- [laughs]

♪ ♪

- This is like a adventure around here, boy.

Pirates of the Caribbeans.

Skeleton heads.

Cannons.

Let me make sure somebody homes.

[plays accordion]

♪ ♪

I'm here.

- Kenny, come on in.

- I'm meeting with composer-scorer

Christopher Halstead at his studio.

Let's see if I can make a little bit

mo' profit from these things.

Hey, we got a bunch of harmonicas in here.

- Yeah, yeah.

Squeeze boxes, boxes.

You get to call them whatever.

- So you a musical genius around here, ain't you?

- It helps.

I always say the best instrument is one

you can always carry with you.

And this is the perfect one.

- Not where I'm from.

They'd be like, bro, what is you doing?

- [laughs]

- So can you tell me, what exactly are these?

I thought it was a fancy lunchbox that made music.

- Well, these are concertinas, and they're a specific type.

These are Anglo concertinas.

1820s, 1824, they all developed.

And then they really started peaking in the 1850s, 1860s

with the great age of sailing.

Because they're compact.

You can set them down anywhere.

They don't tend to roll much.

And they traveled around the world.

- They had it on the "Titanics."

I know that.

And we all know what happened on the "Titanic."

Let that be a lesson to you, America,

'cause Kenny don't fool with the water.

- It's a pretty neat, complex little system inside there.

- Uh-huh.

- The buttons go in.

Your buttons work valves, and they connect to reeds.

And the reeds allow air to go in one way and back,

and then they're held together with beeswax.

That's why you never want to leave a concertina or accordion

in a hot car because the beeswax will melt

and then all the reeds pop off.

But that's what you want to do.

You want to make sure all the buttons are working well.

- Mm-hmm.

- Put your hands through that, little straps.

Do that. - Like this?

- Yeah. Everything except your thumb.

Yeah, so push in your thumb.

It should make no sound, right?

Ah, so we got some sound there.

We've got buttons that are pressing

when they're not supposed to.

So let's fix that.

- OK.

- So we use these special little tweezers

with little spikes here.

And let's pull the little buttons out.

- It really look like the pimple popper.

- There you go. - Oh, there you go.

- Now the buttons are fixed.

Now, see, I can play it, open and close it,

but there's no sound.

Here, if you try this one here. There you go.

Good.

And you'll see that one.

- Oh, he breathing.

- Yeah, breathing.

And then by pressing each little button,

you'll get single notes there.

[plays tune]

- [vocalizing]

♪ ♪

- Go to the next button.

♪ ♪

- Pretty good, if I do say so myself.

Album dropping soon.

Since we around all this here music,

can you tell me how much I can squeeze

out of these here boxes?

- Well, the boxes are in good condition.

This one, it's a little newer.

It's good plastic Bakelite.

It's the classic Italian star paper, which is great.

Leather kringles are great on the bellows.

And this one, the Renelli--

I love Renelli.

Made out of Italy.

It's a good make.

We have a little tear here in the fabric,

but we can replace that, no problem.

You could get--

♪ ♪

I'm gonna say, on this one, because it's in great shape--

♪ ♪

[suspenseful music]

200.

- All right, now.

- And this one, the Renelli...

I'm gonna say--

♪ ♪

400 for that.

- For real?

Now that's, some music to my ears right "chere," bro.

I struck musical gold in Fullerton.

Now I really gotta practice my chords.

- Look, come on back if you ever want a lesson on them.

- Hey, man, why you didn't tell me you had a cobra in here?

- A cobra?

♪ ♪

- Number one, gather materials.

All right, I've done that.

Hello, and welcome

to "Something's Brewing with Lisa."

"Fill kettle with brewing water and heat."

Let's turn on the burner.

Let's get our brew on, shall we?

A watched pot never boils, so let's give the pot its privacy.

And what's next?

Got to fill this pantyhose-looking thing

with this crushed biscuit malt.

OK.

Ooh, uh-oh.

You know what?

There's no crying over spilt malt.

Next, half of the crushed caramel malt.

Oh, half of this. Oops.

OK, I'm gonna go ahead and turn off the heat.

And now for the teabagging.

Augie, Mama's in here making beer, honey.

Oh, don't look at his dirty butt.

As we call it, the toffee maker.

Next, I gotta add all the dry stuff

and all that good liquid stuff.

OK.

Lisa's Locker Lager.

Full of sticky sweetness.

Ooh, it's already getting, like, chunky.

Ahh, chunks.

That reminds me, when I was 16, I

went to visit my aunt in the French Quarter in New Orleans.

Went out drinking and threw up all over

her Oriental rug the next morning.

And she gave me the nickname "Chunks Delarios."

Whoa.

We are at a boil. OK.

Hops, hops, hops, hops.

Here we go.

Ooh, that smells like grass.

Smells like someone's lawn.

OK, all right.

I think I've stirred those in.

I got to set the timer.

45 minutes.

OK.

Oh, I'll start working on my labels.

Let's get crafty.

Lisa's...

Locker Lager.

Smiley face.

OK.

[timer beeping] Oh. Uh-oh.

OK, here we go. Here we go.

What's next?

Gotta cool it.

We're gonna attach this hose.

Uh-oh.

That's not gonna work.

Maybe in my bathroom?

We won't tell anyone.

I'm all for a DIY project,

but I didn't realize how much of a project this was gonna be.

Good thing Mama does Pilates.

Wow, this is heavy.

Place the coil within the beer like so.

Attach this like so.

Here we go.

♪ ♪

Wow, this is so cool.

Science.

Ooh, let's see.

I like Bathroom Brew.

That's a good one.

Potty Pilsner.

You know when you've had a [bleep] day?

Ooh, yeah, this one's cool now.

Whoo.

Back to the kitchen.

We're gonna pour the wort into the water.

Booyah.

Pour yeast in and stir the brewski.

Gotta put this lid on.

Night-night.

Now it is time to put the airlock on.

OK, that's it.

Everything's done.

And now I just have to wait two to three weeks?

Oh, man, what a buzzkill.

♪ ♪

announcer: Dusty and Lupe dominated the competition

in Fullerton,

racking up an impressive 15,000 big ones.

Ivy Calvin got taxed but still managed

to roll in a profit of 900 bucks.

Kenny Crossley made a harmonious 700 notes,

while "Chunks" Delarios broke even

but brewed up a new hobby.

- I'm so freaking excited for everyone to try this beer.

♪ ♪

- Lisa's?

She made this?

Mm.

Looks good, smells good.

[quirky music]

♪ ♪

Tastes like [bleep]!

♪ ♪

- [burps]

No.

[laughs] Nah.

♪ ♪

- [groans]

That's beer?

♪ ♪

- Oh.

And, um--

I don't--I don't like it.