Original subtitles

The following program contains strong language and adult humor.

He's gonna flambé himself. No, no, no! Don't do that!

Your dad's not dead.

Your dad's a terrorist.

Trauma.

I thought my dad was dead.

Turns out the prick just left us, so... Trauma.

I know I've got to take it easy.

Anyway, the gas meter's by the door, mate.

There he is.

Morning, Lee.

There's those letters. Just make sure they get in the first post today.

What's that?

Number 32, we're throwing it out.

Why do you need that?

Maureen, the yoghurt pots, they go in the brown thing, don't they, my darling?

Oh, God. Hey, we've been through this.

Comes in handy.

Right, well, we'll just be off to work.

It's quite early for that, don't you think? Bloody Mary cursed.

It's a breakfast drink.

Can you get some fags for him? Put it on the table.

Thank you.

Nice one, Ma.

We're getting there, aren't we?

Aye?

He's collecting dust.

He's like a massive womble.

Just give him time, Kirsten. As soon as we find Dad, he'll be up and at it. As

soon as we... Yeah.

You'll find him. You know, you sent all those letters off to Tenerife now.

What was it?

36. English and Spanish. Everybody implied a lot of America.

Yeah. Lee will approach them about now, so... Then you've got the email address.

Info at Big Don Chicken Shack.

Yeah. No response yet, but keep trying. Positive.

Positive.

Exactly. Stay positive. And seize your destiny, remember?

Because you've just got to... Oh, shit, I've dropped my earring back there.

Oh, I can see it. It's just by your... You haven't got time, I guess.

I know.

Well, can I get off it? Because I can't... Oh.

I've caught you.

I think.

Haven't I?

Dirty little...

Do you know what naughty people get?

I'm not quite sure.

They get punished.

She popped the box, cursed.

It's a disabled one. It's big enough.

Sorry. Don't be sorry, Claire. I don't like it. We're all done here.

I mean, because I've got a massive... Oh! Oh!

Hi.

Just, um...

Just the bill, please.

We can't keep doing it like this.

No. I'm going to have to do some more research because there's protocols.

You know, they're safe words, Glenn. There's boundaries.

Right. That sounds very strict.

Well, yes, it is very strict.

It's very, very strict.

Because somebody around here needs a little bit of fucking discipline.

Oh, there she is, back again.

Yeah.

Good. Lovely.

A big tip for you.

Oi.

You dropped something.

And? What are you going to do about it?

It's going to push you all wrong.

Hello. Hi there. Welcome to World of Carpets at Loughton Retail Village. My

name's Glenn, store manager. How can I be helping you today? I've been stood

here.

You... Sorry.

Yeah, I've been sent the wrong carpet. I need to exchange it.

Oh, apologies.

What's the product?

It says loop pile on the packaging. I ordered there below.

That's the manufacturer reference. In store, we use the catalogue name. Right.

Okay, so I've paid more just because it's got a different name. No, no.

Loop pile is a subsection of Burberlow. It's identical.

Okay.

Actually, I think I'll just go for the full return.

Please?

Let's just suppose it's a return.

Okay, no problems. Well, if you've got your receipt or your order number, then

I'll log into the system, and if you still wish to proceed, then you can go

yourself.

bins again.

First. Oi, first day.

Cowgirl?

Or reverse cowgirl? Huh?

Well, which is it?

Getting looks.

All right, Lululemon. All right, sling your hook. Mum, you are on a B -day in

public. Yeah, well, I need to give it a test drive and get one in my new flat.

Why? No one has one.

What if I must downsize?

then I least want me arse to feel like it's on holiday.

Oh. Oh, Sid, anyway.

You fancy, ma 'am? Oh, no.

No, um... Right, well, if you actually need to know, I'm manifesting. Oh.

Seize your destiny.

So what you do, Mum, is you picture your future and you just think really

positively about it all of the time, and then just good stuff happens.

So, like, Glenn got a promotion, I got a new job. Oh, give it a rest.

You're volunteering at an all -age company.

It's only one step up from putting a shift at Sue Rydercare.

Well, no, they asked me to come in and turn it around.

Yeah, good luck with that.

I'll see you in six months when it all goes tits up.

Actually, Mum, it's not going to go tits up.

Because I'm manifesting. I've made a business plan to reorganise their

workflows. It'll make our wedding fund back by Christmas.

Well, bully for you.

Look, I need someone to help with this. Because you're no fucking you.

Hello, troll.

You thought you could rattle me.

Well, I'm sorry to inform you.

I'm thriving.

I do hope you can find something.

Never contact me ever again.

Bye -bye now.

Right. Sit there and do it without burning your minge off.

I'm sorry, Mr. Campbell, but verbal abuse against a customer is a very

complaint. I've got this.

Salam, brother.

Listen to me, yes?

Glenn is a good man.

Trust. Zafi?

Pardon?

No, I thought you were Arab, but you ain't. We need to investigate this

In the meantime, Mr. Campbell, you can't work on the shop floor.

Oh. Sorry, no, no, no, no.

I'm the only one here who sells anything.

Rude. What about Helen?

We know you're there, Helen. We can see your split ends. Please abide by the new

working conditions.

We'll be in touch.

Fuck! Sorry.

Bro, what is up with you? You're giving me full Jeff Dahmer vibes.

You know that look when he's been chopping up bitches on the slide? That

bruv. Look at you.

Except he was fit.

Even now, what are you twiddling your hair for, bro? If you've got nits, you

back off. I don't want them pricks under my hijab. Just, um, thinking about Lee,

my brother. He's, uh, you know, he's going through a tough time and... Hmm.

So this ain't about your dad?

Cos he come back from the dead, but now you don't want you to find him and he's

ignoring you and not replying to your emails.

Um... No, it's not that.

Hmm.

I'm going to bounce.

I had an edible a bit ago.

You're wigging me out.

Actually, you can't go.

It's only four. You're down for a full day. I emailed you the rota. Yeah,

I never got that.

Did you check your junk?

You should be checking your junk.

It's basic administrative competence.

It's... Oh.

Shitting fuck.

I'm going to go.

And don't you go chopping up no bitches, yeah?

Promise?

Yeah.

Oh.

Oh, Kenneth!

Lee!

Lee! He's replied.

I got an email. I think it's from Dad. From his business address.

Went to my junk folder.

Let's talk DC.

It's in DC. Don Campbell is... I'll set up a Zoom call for later.

You excited, yeah?

Yeah, of course I am.

It's a trauma, isn't it?

Right, yes.

Are you going to be all right? Because you do seem... Quite, uh... Yeah, I'm

sober as a nun.

As a pope.

Where is he?

Right, well, let's, uh, maybe get cleaned up for the call. Isn't it, Lee?

I think they found him.

Ah, fuck.

Um... It's a judge.

Of course it's a fucking judge.

Music and fashion was always the passion at the car park.

What did I tell him, Maureen?

That I fell in love.

Right, cut.

Is the laptop too low? Shall I get some books to prop it up? It's fine, love.

Right. Sorry. Yeah.

Okay.

Didn't fancy popping on a shirt.

Here we go.

I should go through any moment now.

Oh, God.

Is that... Is it... Hi.

Hello, it's me, Glenn.

I'm... I think I might be... Maybe you're... I thought you were dead.

Sweat.

Oh.

Sorry. Who are you? Me.

Des.

Cousinelli. Des, eh? Your dad's ex -business partner.

Um... Right. Well, maybe you could help us, because we're... I just want to see

you, sir. The progeny of the...

Can't erect my life.

He ran off with my Rita.

What? And my money.

Rita.

The only woman I ever loved.

I just want to look in your eyes and tell you with the utmost gusto

to go fuck yourselves.

What? Wait. Hang on.

Wait. No, no, no, no, no, no!

Oh, my God.

Daddy, Daddy.

What? No, no, no, Lee, Lee, wait, Lee. I'm going to go and have a fan.

I'll call him back, Lee. He doesn't want to be fanned, Glenn.

It's fucked.

Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee.

Lee, Lee.

Ah!

Ah.

What?

Should we?

It's all right, but it is just taking a bit.

So, are you sure you want to do this now?

Yeah, of course, why not? Yeah, OK, we'll do it just after, you know, and we

do it another time. It's fine, it's fine, it's great, yeah. OK, well, I've

doing some research, as promised. Lovely.

And it says, first ensure that your sub feels safe within the mutually agreed

parameters of play.

Do you?

Yep, yep.

Yeah? Great, OK.

Next, establish yourself's pain threshold, gradually build force whilst

encouraging a dialogue around optimal level.

OK, so... I wish to call him back.

What? Him, Des.

Why him? Because, I mean, he must know something, mustn't he? What, Glenn? Can

we talk about this later?

I mean, not for me, for Lee.

I think Lee really needs to find him, find Dad.

No, no, what I'm saying is, you know, I've got to do it for Lee, haven't I?

on me, I'm his brother.

And just now, he looked like he was giving up hope. Do you think he's giving

hope? I don't think he's giving up hope. I think he's fine.

But we don't know that, though, do we, Curse? What I'm saying is... Lee is

Lee is fine. He is absolutely and completely fine. Oh, shit!

Lee!

What is it?

Lee!

Lee! Just stay calm and let me know in a minute.

I was bathing Mother's corns.

Oh, thank God.

I was in the bedroom and I saw the flames through the window.

Making eggs.

Tell you what, Roger, I'll tell you what. Why don't you come in for a cup of

tea? It's the least we can do.

Please.

Actually, Roger, another time.

If that's OK.

It's quite a nasty burn.

That should hold the bandages.

How did it happen?

Oh, he's been drinking quite heavily.

I've nodded off.

I've not been keeping. It's the single bed with my sciatica. I do think the

drink might have had something to do with it. We need to get something

then. A small double bed might fit. What do you reckon? I don't think we need to

do that. Or temporarily.

You know, our bed's a double. Kirsty could take yours. I could take the sofa.

Glenn, do you mind if I have a word, please?

And listen, I am trying to be positive, but I do think maybe that's taking the

actual piss.

Some people don't need a hug, they need a slap.

And that is not about it. Okay.

Oh, God.

Exactly. It's a relapse. Yeah. What?

No. Like, I mean, fine.

I mean, it's temporary.

It's not temporary, isn't it? It's not. It's actually temporary. How do you

think it's temporary?

Curse me.

Huh?

I'm sorry.

Sorry,

Lee, but just about the fire, you just fell asleep, right?

Well, I don't know if I've told you, Glenn, or if I've mentioned it. It's

just... Trauma. It's the trauma, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, I didn't mean to mention that. But if there was anything

else, then... Well, actually, Glenn, there is something I want

you to do for me. Oh, yeah, of course, anything. What is it?

Couldn't knock us up a pint of colada, could you please?

I'm not

going anywhere, Kirsty.

24 hours.

You help me out, or wee Glenn gets the photo.

Yeah, no, it's absolutely fine.

It's fine. What?

Yeah, yeah, he can, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah? Mm -hmm. Oh, wow.

Thanks, guys.

It's the right thing to do.

Yeah.

Ooh, drains are backed up, eh?

Mm -hmm.

What are you saying?

I was going to take it to the tip.

Then it was too big for the... And then the dust took off my... Yes.

Oh, my God. No, no, no, no. I know it looks mad, but I had to put everything

together. All the clues for finding him, finding Dad, I've got to find him,

because that's for Lee.

But, um, there's nothing cursed. It's, um... It's like I don't exist.

Right.

Well, come on, there must be something.

What about Rita?

Yeah, there's his wife.

He said that your dad ran off with her. Maybe they came back to England.

You know, there can't be that many, what, Cusinelli's.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Yeah.

Glenn, um, there's something that I need to tell you.

Um, something about... about your brother.

I...

It's, um... Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Oh, God. There's one here. Rita Guzzinelli in Harlow.

That's 20 minutes away.

Great. First.

Thank God I can rely on you.

First, honestly, I love you so much.

I don't know what I'd do without you.

So what are you going to say?

Oh, oh, um, just about the bins.

He changed the collection, so it's once a fortnight now, yeah.

So it was about Lee? Yeah, because he's livid.

Really cares about council spending, apparently.

Oh. Yeah.

Right, love.

Night, then.

My head's stuck to the pillar. Right, I'll put a new bandage on it then. We've

run out.

So Lee and I can go and get some more, can't we?

What? Yeah, yeah, the petrol station's open 24 hours, so go and get some. Come

on, let's go.

Oh, and Lee, sorry, mate, about the bins.

It's underfunding.

Oh?

Come on.

Just checking, Lee, when you posted all the letters that Glenn wrote, which

postbox did you use, just because the one by us is actually out of order?

Yeah, it was the next one.

Is it?

Yeah.

Oh, I didn't post them, so what? Why should I? Just forget that now. We need

talk about Glenn, OK? What about these?

They're corn plasters. We need bandages.

Yeah, Glenn wants to find that, OK, so just let him. No, no, not that. How

these? Right, that is a knee support, okay? I don't need a knee support.

We need bandages for his head.

You didn't know him, though, did you? I did.

I'm the fucker with abandonment issues.

Just listen to me. I left that an old mate.

I need you, you shit.

And Glenn needs you.

And you are turning yourself into Stig at the fucking dump.

Stig at the fucking what? We did it in year nine.

Oh, wow. Yeah, I'll take those. I'll take that. Definitely.

And that. Thank you.

Thank you very much.

Don't drink it, Indiana.

Look, Lee... Do you know what? Fuck it.

Glenn can find Dad on his own.

I've had enough fucking trauma in my life.

Morning, love.

Oh.

Um, Glenn?

Hmm?

So, so sorry, but, um, it's, uh, it's about your brother.

He, um, he, he's... What, he was in the hot water?

Don't worry, I'll show her later.

Sorry? Just tell him to hurry up if you need a wee.

Oh,

no. That's the panel clocks, love.

Yeah, it must have been up early to get those.

Oh, and I found a lead on that.

That Rita.

I found her address.

Oh, great.

Hello. Hello.

Dare I say it? I feel like, you know, everything's looking up.

I mean, you could say everything's coming up, Rob.

I want the music.

Mr.

Warningly, someone don't want us to find him. Don't you dare, cunt.

Okay, Dad.

It's on.

We're coming for you.

I love the music.