Original subtitles

- You're so cute, you're so cute.

I could just eat you all up.

- Hello?

- Ian, Ian is that you?

It's Mark.

- Yeah, it's me.

- You're joking, really.

It's been what, ten years?

- Something like that.

- Yeah, listen, I'm looking for a room

and I saw you've got one there up at Dumpling Farm.

- That's right, what happened?

- It's a long story.

I'll tell you about it.

- The room's yours, if you want it.

When do you uh, want to move in?

- As soon as, I'm just round the corner.

She kicked me out.

- Putting it about a bit?

- Yeah, it was my fault.

- Well, I'll see you when you get here, mate.

- Looking forward to it, pal.

Yeah, nice one, Ian.

You, too.

Hello?

Ian?

Hello?

Oh, Jesus.

Fuck.

Hello?

Ian, hello?

Ian?

Hello, Ian?

Hello?

Ian?

Hello?

Ian?

Hey, Ian?

- What are you doing in here?

You really shouldn't come in here.

- It's me, Mark.

I'm coming to stay.

- Oh, yeah.

Just give me a minute, I'm finishing up in here.

- Who were you just talking to now?

- I'm just finishing up in here.

- Okay, whatever man.

It's cool.

I'll be at the house.

- I could just eat you all up.

I could just eat you all up.

- Ah, you've done the place up a bit.

So, what's the deal with parties up here?

This place was always good for a party.

Just broken up with the wife, I could do with a bit of,

you know, cheering up.

It's not too much to ask of an old mate, is it?

- Sure.

It's not as if anyone can hear you this far out.

- Nice one.

I thought you might've been going a bit

mental up here on your own.

- It's the middle

of the summer, man.

- I'm always cold.

- It's been a while

since I smoked one of those.

- Do you remember,

we used to spend the days getting

stoned up here in the summer?

- Carefree days, man.

- Mark, this will make your night.

- Ah.

- Woo!

- Turn down that fucking music, man.

It's giving me the fear.

- That's not what's causing the fear.

- Woo!

Woo!

Please, don't go in there.

It's private.

- You're listening to Fenway 102.5.

Okay, we've had more reports about some more.

- Today's phone in is about the disappearances

of young men over the last couple of years.

The latest to go missing is Mark G.

Hey, thanks for tuning into Fenstar Radio.

This is Pickering Brothers with High Maintenance.

- Thanks, very much.

- No problem, sir.

- I'll pay for it.

- Hey, bro, how's it going?

- Good, man.

Just calling about the party next week, pal.

Do you want me to bring some of the good stuff?

- Good stuff?

- Well, you know, I was thinking about bringing Mandy.

- Mandy, who's Mandy?

- You bellend, MDMA.

- It's been a while, man.

Stuck with misery guts for the past six years.

Now that I'm back at the farm with Ian,

I could do with a bit of a blowout.

She's a fucking lesbian now, did you know that?

- Well, I knew you could turn a woman.

Definitely time to move on, pal.

Look, we're gonna have a big one.

All the boys are coming.

- All right.

I love ya, you little beauty.

- Love you too, bro.

- What the?

Jesus Christ.

- Get the fuck out of here!

- I'm sorry, man, I'm sorry.

I thought you were down here.

And well, whatever you've got in there, it stinks.

There are flies down here.

You going fishing, mate, or something?

- So where are you from, boy?

- Dublin, Ireland, originally.

Just moved back here though.

- Whereabouts?

- Ah, Dumpling Farm, do you know it?

- Yeah, I've heard of that place, yeah.

I've heard stories about that place.

- What stories?

Another one, please.

- Hey, man. - Hey.

- How many have you had?

Can I have another one of those, please?

You, my friend, are an alcoholic.

- Man, I don't feel great.

- Don't worry about that, pal.

We'll soon sort that out.

- Fuckin' hell, mate.

It's the middle of the afternoon, do you ever stop?

- You're only young once, mate.

I tell you what, I can't wait for the party.

It's gonna be wicked to see all the boys again.

It's been too long man, every cunt's married with kids.

It's not like I don't wanna settle down,

there's just too much pussy around to do it yet.

Besides, I'm a bastard to live with.

I want to wank all the fucking time.

Do you do that?

- No.

- It's like I'm addicted to fucking Pornhub.

- You take card, right? - Yeah, there's a 1.58 tax.

- The other day I literally contacted my internet service

provider to increase my bandwidth.

- Jesus.

- I was getting fourteen tabs open at the same time.

- Is that fine?

- Literally, do you know how long it takes

to get through fourteen tabs?

I'll tell you how long, an hour.

That's how long it took me.

This morning, in fact.

Just cranking out, no bandwidth issues.

Just feel it, more porn.

I'm not a monster, I get it over and done with,

finished, get out of there.

I'm literally like, I set my alarm an hour early,

I'll get my hour in pal.

I'm basing like, my whole morning around it at the moment,

gonna push a few things back.

But, I'll have my hot water and lemon,

I'll get my hour in and then, after that,

I wont even think about it.

It's the best thing about it.

I won't even think about it till the afternoon.

There's a wealth of content out there.

It seems pretty good to me.

It's not just me.

It's not just me that does that.

It's an epidemic.

There's a big problem.

I don't have a problem, but there's a big problem

overall with that kind of thing.

It's what it's come to.

I mean, I'm not, I think everyone's the same, to be honest.

People just don't talk about it, that's all.

Very normal.

Anyway, are you sure mate?

It'll sort you out, you zombie.

- No. - No?

Okay, fuck it then.

Look after my pint, I'm off to the bog.

- I just eat you all up.

- What the fuck?

Jesus Christ.

Christ.

- Hey mate, how are you? - Hey, how's it goin', bud?

- This looks mad, man.

How did you find the time to do all this?

- It was all Stevie.

I don't recognize these people.

Hey.

- Hey boys, nice to see ya..

Yeah, nice to see ya.

All right. - How ya been, guys?

- All right, cheers.

- Cheers, hey!

- Hey, as soon as this thing goes,

we've got more beer, we've got shots, we've got a bar.

- Hey, lad.

- How are you doin', man, good?

- Yes, bro, yeah.

- How's it going, man?

- How are ya?

Ah, you're spilling my drink, man.

- Sorry, pal.

Oh.

- Go on, then.

You're mad, you're the addict.

- You're only young once, mate.

- Not anymore, man.

Not anymore.

Here you go.

- Ah, fuck, I dunno. - Yes, yes.

- Hey, stay in there.

Stay in there, oh shit.

- Look, old man. - Trying to get me fucked.

- Go on, go on, go on.

- I don't know man.

Fuckin' hell.

It's you. - Um, we have the video.

- I dunno how your heart manages with this.

- That's great.

A little something else.

Not too many, just about 150 pills for you guys.

How's that?

- Mate.

No.

- Where the fuck have they been all my life?

- Fuck knows.

Ian kept them secret.

You know what, he's been acting really fucking weird lately.

I mean, creeping the shit out of me,

and now this.

I mean, where would he find a group of girls like that?

- Well, mate, he's not being a weirdo right now is he?

And he's just turned up to the party

with a bunch of hotties.

In my eyes, he's a right total fucking legend right now.

- Stevie, what, no, don't.

Stevie.

- Ian.

Who are your friends?

Are you not gonna introduce me?

I want to meet your friends, pal.

Well, it's good to see you.

Nice to have you here.

Everyone's here pal, everyone's here.

Drink?

It's your favorite.

We're gonna have a good one tonight, pal.

And that's it.

Ian's here everyone.

- Thank you very much.

Enjoy the rest of your evening.

- Harry, mate, Harry, come on.

It's gotta be bangers, pal.

- What's wrong with this?

- This is not a banger, that's what's wrong with this.

The people need bangers.

Just, I've got, I've got it okay?

I've got it handled.

Don't, don't worry about it.

I've got the bangers for everyone.

Which button is it?

Yeah, I've got it, I've got it, yeah.

Harry, I know what the people want.

Fuckin' hell, mate.

This is an un-fucking-believable party.

- Yeah, it's really nice.

- Bro, you okay?

Lay off the drink for a while, man.

Drink some water.

I love you.

Will you be my wife?

- I've got a surprise for you.

- I love surprises.

Will you be my wife?

- Come with us.

- Has anyone got a cigarette?

That's all I need.

That'd be the cherry on top.

- Here you go, mate.

- Cheers, mate.

- Nice, man.

- What was in those pills, man?

- Woo!

Did you do this for us?

Who's this guy?

- What is this?

It's like pagan shit or something.

- I like it, man.

It's a special occasion.

You have to mark special occasions.

Got to make an effort, you know?

Oh, is that food?

That pot smells amazing.

I'm fucking starving.

- You're so cute.

I could just eat you all up.

- Now I can smell you.

- Ah, shit.

Stevie, you're alive?

Stevie, Stevie.

- No Mark, I'm dead.

You're just fuckin' high on drugs,

and the comedown's yet to come, my friend.

- Tell me this isn't fucking happening.

Please tell me this is all a joke.

- No.

Sorry, pal.

This is really fucking happening.

And they're witches or demons or something.

I don't fucking know what they are.

And I've got no throat left.

Ah, well, it's only a throat.

I'm fine, really.

Oh, well, only young once, mate.

- Mark.

Just kill me, please.

Just kill me.

- Mark, you fucking bastard.

You are never gonna get away.

- We missed you, Mark.

We missed you, Mark.

- We've missed you, Mark.

- No!

- We are your family now.

- No!