All language subtitles for Top Gear - 23x05 - The Zenos E10S.-TLA.English.orig.Addic7ed.com

'Tonight, I audition for Countryfile.'

Sorry to interrupt, very nice sheep.

'Matt considers his Christmas list.'

I feel like I need a captain's
hat. Maybe a cannon.

'And Harris has an Einstein moment.'

There we go.

Hello and welcome to Top Gear!

Yes, hello! Now, usually when
you hear the term "lightweight",

you think of bars and drink and vomit.

Thank you! But on this
show, that term refers to

a very small special group
of British car enthusiasts.

These are the great British
super lightweights.

They're raucous, they're uncomfortable,

and, most of all, they're
totally impractical.

Not that any of that really matters

because the only thing that does
is how exciting they are to drive.

And the fast-track route to
the most thrills per gallon

is as little lard as possible,

with as much oomph as your
piggy bank will stretch to.

On the race track, these super
lightweights are an absolute riot.

They're pure and honest,
modest and humble.

However, back in the real world,
their lack of creature comforts

means they can be a bit
of a physical challenge.

So, how does the new kid
on the block compare?

It's time to meet the Zenos E10.

It's designed and built in Britain

by two ex-Lotus and Caterham guys,

who still promise a double helping of fun

without the side order of scary.

There are three versions of the E10.

The entry level for 25 grand,

the top of the range R, and this, the S,

which boasts a two litre turbo engine

from Ford's hot hatch department.

30 grand will buy you
250 brake horsepower,

145mph and 0-60 in about four seconds.

And all this in something that looks
like Darth Vader's weekend wheels.

The E10S is blessed
with the gear box, engine

and other mechanical hardware
from the Ford Focus ST,

which is not a slow car.

But stick all of its guts in a
four-wheeled bobsleigh Superleggera

and this is what's going to happen.

If Mo Farah were a car,
he may well be a Zenos.

Supreme performance with a bare minimum

of skin and bone to slow him down.

The E10S weighs a mere 725kg,

about half the weight of the Ford Focus,

partly because Zenos have done away with

all those heavy non-essentials
like... windows.

Or a boot. Or a roof.

But also because it's built of something

called carbon fibre reinforced
plastic, which is incredibly light

and incredibly strong, too.

Now, it could be said the
E10S's panels look a bit flimsy

and, frankly, they are, but
it's all part of that grand plan.

Think about these panels as
more sacrificial than cheap.

Zenos have gone all Lego on us,
so if you run out of talent

on a track day, it's so much
easier to replace a bit than a lot.

Whoaaaa!

Because the rest of the car
is so solid and so light,

it's the perfect platform for stability.

Enables the car to remain PLANTED...

.. almost all of the time!

Wooohooo, woohooo!

The way this car's set up,

it really will inspire the
inner Hamilton in all of us.

The steering is so tight and bright.

Marvellous, joyous!

Heavenly!

I love the whooshing and
the hissing and the oozing

and the urging and the screaming

and the "Come on,
Christopher! Faster, my son."

Here we go again!

The Zenos, then, gives you
all the thrills you want

from a proper British super lightweight,

but without feeling the
need to have to beat you up.

This car really doesn't want to fight you.

It wants to be your friend.

I mean, it has its downsides
-- the gear throw's a bit long,

the brakes you've got to really
sort of stand on at first,

till you get used to them.

But, compared to most super lightweights,

it's like a bloomin' Rolls-Royce Corniche.

When developing their mini masterpiece,

Zenos invited potential customers

to drive the prototypes
and give their feedback.

So this car is more of what
super lightweight fans want,

rather than what a manufacturer
thinks they should get.

But all those Ford bits means
it's got parts supply sorted,

reliability should be boringly excellent,

fixing it should be easy and
it's safe and it's noisy.

But, most important of all, it's
still respectfully impractical.

Which it has to be because
it's a super lightweight

and that's the law!

Wow! I love it. That looked fun.
That looked great, was it fun?

No. Yes. What I meant...
No, I meant yes. Yes, no.

It is a lot of fun, but the
thing about cars like this is,

they are painful. They hurt.

They hurt your back, they hurt
your arms, they hurt your wrists.

They really hurt your bum,

and some people have been known to
ache for the rest of their lives

after driving a super lightweight
for just five minutes.

Yeah, but the people who love these cars,

the people who own these cars,
they worship them, right?

They do, they do, er,
because they're a bit mad!

Ah.

I salute them, but I wouldn't
want to live next door to one.

- That's all I'm saying, OK?
- OK. All right. Fair enough.

OK -- so to see how fast
a "Zeenos" goes around...

Zenos.

To see how fast a Zenos
goes around our test track...

.. it's time to hand it over
to our tame racing driver.

Some say that on a first date,
he always clips the apex...

.. and that he's touched every
one of the Untouchables.

All we know is, he's called...

THE STIG!

So, the Zenos E10S, then, a
classically British lightweight

in classically British conditions today...

Into the first corner, the Zenos
looking locked down as you like.

The Stig, crafty, happening,
happening, crafty.

Chicago!

Listen to the turbo engine
suck and blow, hiss, pop, bang.

Very neutral, through Hammerhead.

Not a sniff of a slide there, immaculate.

Happening crafty, crafty
happening, the Zenos!

For the honour of Norfolk!

Bouncing past the tyre wall,

sacrificial panels unsacrificed.

Bit of a squirm as Stig
stomps on the brakes.

Finally, through Gambon,
little skid on the exit

and across the line!

So...

.. before I post this time up
on the Power Lap Time Board,

we're looking at other lightweights,
we've got the Caterham 620R,

1.22.3, and then we go up the board,

the BAC Mono, the king or queen
of the lightweights, 1.14.3,

and the Zenos E10S, on a
mildly moist and damp day,

has come in at 1.25.1,
which is just about there.

It's OK. That's OK.

While Chris was dealing
with the pain of the Zenos,

I was dealing with the pain
of the new Rolls-Royce.

The Rolls-Royce Dawn.

17 feet and £250,000 of
very British convertible.

And yes, 17 foot long, £250,000
convertibles can sometimes --

sometimes -- run the risk of
being a bit attention-seeking.

Shouty.

Case in point -- way, way out in front,

a twin turbo 6.6 litre V12
engine will, at your request,

serve up 563 horsepower.

It'll proceed from a standstill
to 60mph in under five seconds.

Which is very invigorating.

But the rest of the
messy physics of driving

are kept well and truly below deck.

Generally, when you buy
the convertible version

of an expensive car with a large
engine and many cylinders,

it's so you can hear that large
engine with many cylinders.

But the Dawn is far too
diplomatic for anything

so uncouth as engine noise. Huh!

And it's far too polite to concern
you with nonsense like feedback.

The steering tells you pretty much nothing

about what's going on with the tyres.

Just occasionally you get the
merest hint through the chassis

that you may have run over
something fairly significant.

Like a buffalo.

And that's a good thing.

If you want to feel every inch of
the tarmac through your fingertips,

buy a Lotus.

And if it's all still a bit intrusive,

you can always deploy the roof.

You could hear a cricket fart in here.

Oop!

Even though the Dawn will do 155mph

if called upon, you get the sense...

.. it would prefer to call ahead
and let them know you'll be late.

It's a car that'll go as
fast as you'll ever need,

but makes you want to take your time.

Delve beneath its bold, sleek lines

and you're met with a level of
detail that is second to none.

The doors open the wrong way because...

Well, it seems like there's
no practical reason

other than the fact that it's really cool,

but it makes it easier to access this.

Your umbrella.

And then when you're
done with your umbrella,

the Dawn circulates warm air around
its little scabbard to dry it off.

Sweet!

And if you think that's
a bit over the top,

how about this little gem from
the promotional literature?

"The rear passengers do not merely
get out of a Rolls-Royce Dawn,

"but rather stand and disembark
as if from a motor launch

"onto a glamorous private jetty."

Let's give it a go.

I can almost smell the ocean.

And then there's the Dawn's
most imposing feature.

Oh, that's tight. Oh, wow!

'And that's... Well, it's HUGE.'

Sorry, buddy. Aah!

And that leads to the
small matter of parking it.

Ooh, that's tight.

Oop, let me try that again.

She's definitely big.

Oh, I'm on the kerb.
One more crack at that.

Oop! Ooh...

OK, be careful now. We don't
want to scuff the wheels.

They're about £2,000 a pop.

Jeez! At least nobody saw that.

'Not what you'd call "subtle", then.'

But get the Dawn out on the
wide -- very wide -- open road

and it really starts
to get under your skin.

You don't drive this thing,

you captain it, as you
would a cruise liner.

I feel like I need a captain's
hat. Maybe a cannon.

Delusions of grandeur?

Perhaps.

But that's what the Dawn does to you.

OK, maybe it IS a bit
attention-seeking, a bit shouty.

But, hey, it's got PLENTY to shout about.

So nice. So, so nice.

I like it. Call me crazy.

Call me... ostentatious.

Call me whatever the hell you want,
I'm driving a Roller down the road.

Ha-ha-ha!

Oop!

It does pain me to admit this, but
he does suit the car, doesn't he?

Thank you.

This car is undoubtedly a five-star,

magnificent example of
British engineering.

However, two glitches in my book.

- Two?
- Two.

First of all, why do Rolls always insist

on sticking their granny's brooch

on the most beautiful,
futuristic grilles imaginable?

Why do they do that?

What? The Spirit of Ecstasy?
What's wrong with that?

Well, why don't they
make it more contemporary

so you look at it and you think,

"No, it's all part of the same thing?"

- You don't like it?
- No, I hate it.

You don't have to look at it.

I know it's still there.

That's just like sweeping the
problem under the carpet.

That's the way you're
supposed to deal with problems.

Answer this question, then.

Have Rolls come up with a button

to make the whole back
end of the car disappear?

Look at this, it's awful, it's hideous!

It looks like a blue wall

that somebody's just
stuck a number plate on.

What's the matter with the back?

The back is terrible.

You won't know this, right,

but the back of this
brand-new Rolls-Royce Dawn

looks like a Rover 75.

Look! What's that about?

- That looks all right, too.
- Really?!

- What's the problem? - Look, you've
got these gorgeous, sweeping lines.

You've got these really muscular haunches,

you've got a really tight torso for
such a big vehicle, and then...

they went home and the
designers forgot to come back

and we're left with this.

- All right, so you don't like
the back of the car? - Yes.

OK, do you feel better now,
getting that off your chest?

- I'm OK for now. For now.
- All right, well,

- we'll come back to that.
- Thank you.

OK, I'm glad he's done with that.

We'll be returning to the Dawn later

as it takes on an icon from the past.

Right now, it's special ops time

as Top Gear's lone wolf, Chris Harris,

comes to grips with
BMW's latest tyre-slayer.

If you lived in the 1990s and
you wanted to buy a fast car,

but you couldn't afford a Porsche
911, you bought one of these.

A BMW M3.

It was quick, it was rear wheel
drive, it was affordable-ish,

and, most importantly, on a wet
roundabout, it would do big skids.

It was therefore perfect.

Fast forward 20 years, and
you can still buy an M3.

It looks like this.

Yes, it's very fast and very impressive,

but the M3 isn't really an M3 any more.

It's become bigger, more
complicated. Much more grown up.

So, what if you want your
M3 like they used to be?

This is the M2.

Named in honour of one of Kent's
finest stretches of motorway.

Not really.

It's called the M2 because
it's based on the 2 Series,

BMW's smallest coupe, and
what BMW has done here

is actually quite old-fashioned.

Just like that old M3 from the
'90s, there's a manual gearbox.

You can have a paddle shift if you
want, but, trust me, you don't.

And just like that old M3 from the '90s,

you get a three litre straight-six engine.

OK, it's turbo charged now, but
that does mean 365 horsepower

and 0-60 in 4.5 seconds.

A lot of modern turbo charged
engines have clever software

that limits the torque at low revs
to stop you spinning the wheels

and to make it more manageable.

The M2, however, is not
interested in manageable.

So, full torque,

that's the stuff that gives
you the big shove in the back,

arrives at just 1500rpm and it stays
there pretty much all the way.

So, you don't have to
find the M2's sweet spot,

it's just there the whole time.

And with all this torque on
tap, you can slide about a bit.

A lot, actually.

It's a little angry
pool of energy, this car.

It's like the pent-up bloke in
the pub who'll start a fight

with just about anyone for
staring at his pint the wrong way.

You! What are you looking at?!

Now, admittedly, this kind of attitude

does tend to attract a
certain type of buyer.

There's no denying that fast BMW saloons

still carry a faint suspicion

of the "mobile phone salesman
done good" about them.

And the headlights actually
have three different settings.

There's dip beam, main beam

and "Get out of my way, I'm
on business! Deal, DEAL!"

And, image problems aside, there are
just a couple of other minor flaws.

Complete geeks like me

will notice that there is
no oil temperature gauge.

I always thought M cars had to
have an oil temperature gauge,

but this one doesn't, nor is
the gear knob illuminated.

I know, you're shocked at the
depth of my sadness, aren't you?

But it's one of those cars that
makes you qualify everything

with a, "But what else can
you get for the money?"

And also, "What more can you expect?"

Well, it's not often you introduce
an Audi as the budget option,

but this is the RS3.

It makes the same power as the BMW

and, at £40,000, it's four grand cheaper.

Because it's got four-wheel drive,
it'll get from 0-60 much quicker.

In fact, it'll get...
anywhere much quicker.

It is a deliriously, stupidly fast car.

Has bigger back seats, too, if
you care about that sort of thing.

In fact, on paper, it's just a winner.

But you don't drive cars on paper.

Welcome, then, to the Top
Gear One Corner Challenge.

In just one single corner, I'm going
to demonstrate to you exactly why,

despite what the official stats might say,

the RS3 is not the better car,
which means I'll need to strap on

the patented Top Gear Funometer 3000,

harnessing science and numbers and stuff

to actually quantify happiness.

There we go.

Right, then, the Audi RS3.

And we've got, yeah, understeer,

amusing parpy five-cylinder
noises and understeer.

Right, let's have a look
at the scores. Er... 76.

That's... quite happy.

And now the M2.

So I scored 76 in the Audi.

What did I score in the BMW?

514!

There you have it.

The BMW makes you... um...

very much more happy in the corners.

There you are -- science.

It really is simply brilliant, the M2.

It takes you back to when driving
was still... brilliantly simple.

It takes you back to the 1990s.

In fact, BMW has made a mistake here.

It's not really an M2.

It's an M3. There you go.

OK, now it's time for tonight's
Stars in a Rallycross Car.

Please welcome Paul Hollywood
and Jennifer Saunders.

How cool is this?

Look at you two.

- Already friends, come on. - Yes.
- Well, this morning, we weren't.

- Well, and we might not be at
the end, I don't know. - Yes.

- Look at the body language, isn't it perfect?
- He just said to me,

- "If you beat me, I can't
go back to Bake Off." - No.

So, Paul, please tell us
what is Jennifer doing here?

Jennifer's here because
Absolutely Fabulous

has finally been turned into a movie.

Here's Eddie and Patsy on the
run from the French police,

Top Gear-style. Sort of.

We're not going back,
we're not going back.

Brake, Eddie!

Ohhh... Ohhh...

Oh, God, no!

Aaaaah!

I mean, she could be anywhere.

What a laugh! Was it fun to make?

It was... Yes, it was
the best fun to make.

- Over 60 cameos, well-known
cameos in the film. - Yeah.

But one cameo was crucial
to the film getting made.

Well, it's not even really a cameo,
it's actually quite a main part

cos the whole plot revolves
around Patsy and Eddie

and Kate Moss and we needed Kate Moss.

And I'd sold and written the whole
film and forgotten to ask her.

And someone said, "So, Kate's
great about this, is she?

"She all right about this?"
I went, "Yeah... I think so."

And luckily, well, not luckily,

cos I thought she'd be pretty cool.

And she said yes and, uh...

- All right, well, it's
out, um, on Friday. - Yes.

And the whole of the country
is so excited about this.

- Good. Go and see it. Please.
- They're so excited about AbFab The Movie.

Right, tell us why Paul's here.

Baker Paul Hollywood
has a new cookbook out.

That's him!

And it's called The Weekend Baker.

He's also currently filming the
next series of the smash hit TV show,

- the Great British Bake Off.
- Yeah.

Sorry, they weren't...

They're not impressed enough to applaud.

- The Great British Bake Off?
- 'Scuse me!

- Smash hit!
- Unbelievable.

- Couldn't be any bigger, could it?
- Unbelievable.

What we really want to know
about the Great British Bake Off,

we hear these whispers about
ITV backing lorry-loads of cash

up to your houses to try
and steal it from the BBC.

- What's happening with that?
- I've said -- and I think, uh,

the girls have said as well --
we want to stay with the BBC.

- Yay!
- Is this serious?

- Yeah. - You're joking me. - No.

Well, that's ridiculous, Christopher.

But as far as, uh, Mary,
Mel, Sue, and myself,

we want to stay with the BBC.

- Don't you think so, it
stays with the BBC? - Yes.

That's the Great British Bake
Off staying with the BBC.

Yeah, the GBB on the BBC. All
right, OK, let's talk cars.

Now your best first car -- first of
all, first car, Jennifer Saunders.

The first car I bought
was an Alfa Romeo Spider.

Whoa, come on, let's look
at that. Oh! Very nice.

- Wow! - That's exactly
what, and it was...

Because it belonged to this guy who
used to drive it down the street

and my friends and I used to
go, "Oh, do you see that car?"

And he went, "Yeah, yeah."
And he used to show off in it.

And I'd go, "Oh, I love it."

And one day he said,
"Well, it's for sale."

And I said, "How much?" He said, "£2,000."

I only had £2,000 in the whole world

and I just absolutely adored it.

All right, so, Paul, good luck,

your first car up against
Jennifer's Alfa Romeo Spider.

- You can't do that.
- Sorry!

Well, mine is an Escort 1.3.

Sorry.

Let's have a look.

You know what?

Mine wasn't even the L
model, so when I got the car,

what I did was I bought the
XR3 wheels, bumper overrides,

the spoiler, front spoiler,
stickers, everything on it.

It did look like an XR3 at the end.

And the stereo was so bad.

I went and bought myself a
really... I think it was a Kenwood,

- it was quite expensive, you know,
from down the shop. - But Kenwood's...

Yeah, they don't just do mixers.

Oh, all right, I thought they did.

By the way, good baking
credentials. Very good.

Yeah, I bought a KitchenAid,
uh, music system for the car.

And then when I put it in

because the speakers were so
bad in these plastic doors,

I got these speakers
which were like cubes.

And the only place I could put
it was on a plastic dashboard.

So every time I took a corner,

it just slid along and smacked
the passenger in the head.

It was ruthless.

So, er, here we have Paul's

completely over-pimped 1983 Ford Escort.

OK, let's hear it for that.

Up against Jennifer's Alfa Romeo Spider.

Well, it's all going
beautifully, isn't it, Paul?

If I'd known then, I would have
saved up and bought something else!

All right, so, best car ever, Jennifer?

The best car we ever bought, I
think, was a Jaguar Sovereign.

- Really?
- Yeah. And I'll tell you why.

It was because I was getting
pregnant a lot and having babies

and we needed a family car

and I didn't want to go
for estates for some...

- we wanted to drive something
a bit lovely. - Yeah.

And we tried this out and all
the kids fit in the back seat.

Dogs in the footwells.

Huge boot and, honestly, it was
the nicest, softest drive ever.

But that's not as good
as your Alfa Romeo Spider.

You can have your Alfa Spider if you like,

cos it's about winning,
it's about beating him.

Oh, OK, if I was to actually
choose my perfect car,

it would be the Alfa, yeah.

OK, the Alfa back then, please.

Thank you very much indeed.
OK, so here we go again.

- Now, look at it, it's gorgeous.
- You're a nightmare.

Right, Hollywood, best car ever, please.

Uh, the, the best car I've ever owned

is the Aston Martin DBS
Volante in quantum silver.

There.

Oh, for heaven's sake! Tongues
off the floor, if you don't mind.

OK, tell us about this one, then.

Well, I'd always wanted, uh, a Bond car.

And I saw this, um, for sale and
it was the quantum silver again,

so it was the Bond one from Quantum
of Solace and Casino Royale.

But it was the soft top version.

And I thought, "Oh,
I've got to have that."

And we go down to France
a lot, the family,

we'd go down to France driving
round and it's beautiful.

All right, where'd you put the
family? That's my only question.

When you say "the family", are
you towing them in a caravan?

Because I don't see where the family goes.

That's a very good question.

You have no idea how big that boot is.

Well, I can see it, it's hideous.

The kids go in there, give them a
couple of lollipops, away they go.

OK, once again, it's up to the audience.

Paul is 1-0 down. Best car ever
-- we have Paul's DBS Volante

up against Jennifer's, once
again, the Alfa Romeo Spider.

Let's hear it for Paul's DBS Volante.

Let's hear it for an encore
and the Alfa Romeo Spider.

Come on!

Paul, you just got it -- 1-1.

Perfect! It's down to the laps,
my friends. Down to the laps.

- Oh, no. - Paul Hollywood, you have a
national A, B, and C racing licence.

I've got an international C.

What is that?

Well, apparently it means he's done
a lot of driving competitively...

- I have a swimming certificate.
- What?

I have a swimming certificate.

- Which is more useful today,
I have to say. - 50 metres.

Paul, I put it to you --
is this or is it not true,

as Jennifer's going round, and I
don't know if you know this, Jen,

Paul asked for a stopwatch
so he could time your lap.

I do believe that, I believe that.

I was timing the lap, yeah.

I know cos I looked and I saw your
little face pale as I sped past.

I went, I went white.

All right, now, these have been
specified as the worst conditions

anybody has ever seen on this track.

So, basically, it's just between you two.

It's your own special little
competition, all right, OK?

Would you like to see the laps?

Yes!

Jennifer first. Calm down, you two!

- Oh, God! - It's OK. Jennifer
on the start line, here we go.

There she is, Jennifer Saunders
in our mighty Mini Cooper.

Come on now, I can see Paul
Hollywood has come out to watch,

so we've got to bloody take it to him.

That's the spirit, Jen,
a seriously soggy track,

the wettest our rally
cross course has ever been.

It's into the horrid bit, into the mud.

Now that's the water splash.

Where it starts, where it
ends, we don't know any more.

That is so serious, it's not funny.

Come on! That's it, back on the road.

So focused into Hammerhead, back
on dry land. Hammerhead, very tidy.

Come on, put your foot down, woman.

Approaching the hairpin,
more water, look at this.

Oh, my, yeah, come on,
that's pretty impressive.

Excellent control, great technique.

Here comes the jump. Any air?

No air.

Sorry, uh, Jen, no air today.

As fast as you can go... Ooh!

Tyre wall, back on terra firma, OK.

Into the next to last, nice
apex cutting the corner.

Into Gambon, how tidy will this be?

Anything's easy after
what you've been through.

Was that a bit of counter-steering
there, you naughty girl?

Very good, Jennifer Saunders.

- Thank you.
- How do you feel about that?

Well, it looks a lot better than it felt.

It felt really messy.

We've actually classified
Jennifer's conditions as "appalling"

and Paul's, yours we have
classified as "very wet"

cos it was drying a little.

What?! What?!

Well, look at the amount of
water I displaced for you.

- It was the same.
- It wasn't the same.

It was two hours later and
the sun had been shining.

Listen here, it was literally about...

a minute after I followed you.

The track had been in the
oven for at least another hour.

It was raining when I was out there.

- It wasn't. - OK, would
you like to see Paul's lap?

Yes!

Here we go.

Paul Hollywood on the start
line in the rally cross Mini.

Paul Hollywood, the Wizard from the
Wirral, on our wickedly wet track.

Let's go!

Right, here we go! This
is for the Bake Off team.

He's not in the tent any more.
He's in our rally cross Mini.

It may be a bit drier than
Jennifer's lap out there.

Come on, you can see it's drier.

It's just like a swimming pool!

Mary would go mad if this was her car!

Hammerhead, very nice.

Car draining off there.

This is a little bit nasty.

Now I've got to say
Jennifer was very impressive

around the hairpin and what about Paul?

Not as dramatic, but very tight.

No air, sorry, sorry, no air again.

Come back another day for some air.

Right, so here we go...

Pfft!

Through the tyre wall.

The Follow-through and foot
down all the way here now.

Coming up to Gambon.

Massive slide out the last corner, a
Hollywood slide and across the line!

He's so chuffed with that.

You should see your face!
Oh, you lit up there.

You so lit up at the end
there. Let's look at the times.

- So, forget all that, OK. That
doesn't exist, all right? - OK.

They don't exist, worst
conditions of all time.

Jennifer, if it's under three, I
think you're doing really well.

Jennifer Saunders in appalling
conditions -- two minutes...

.. 21.6, there you go!

Paul Hollywood, very wet
conditions, not quite as wet,

- it has to be said, as Jennifer.
- Unbelievable.

- True, c'est vrai?
- No, it was appalling.

Paul Hollywood, two minutes again.

16.4, there you go.

Happy, happy together.

Ladies and gentlemen, Jennifer
Saunders, Paul Hollywood.

So, ladies and gentlemen, boys
and girls, salt and vinegar.

Gather round, it's Top Gear story time.

Tonight, a true tale from many moons ago

beginning in a mystical
land far, far away --

a place called Coventry.

Let me tell you a story.

1961, the night before
the Geneva Motor Show,

Jaguar is preparing to reveal the E-Type.

Excitement from the world's
press exceeds all expectations.

A second E-Type is needed.

A driver is despatched.

13 hours to reach Geneva,

750 miles through the night --

he makes it with ten minutes to spare.

The rest, as they say, is history
-- a journey never to be repeated.

Until now.

It is 55 years to the night since
Jaguar test driver Norman Dewis

burst out of the Coventry factory
doors and onto this very road.

And, in 13 hours at the
2016 Geneva Motor Show,

Jaguar will unveil this car,

the F-Type SVR convertible.

And when I say "this car",

I mean THIS car --

this is the only F-Type SVR
convertible in the world.

If I don't get there, then the
Jaguar boss will unveil... nothing.

Fresh air.

The F-Type is Jag's spiritual
successor to the E-Type --

a two-seat, rear-drive proper sports car.

Now Jaguar's elite SVO
skunkworks department

has turned the F-Type
into simply the fastest

series production Jaguar
ever created -- the SVR.

What they've done is they've
taken the standard V8 F-Type,

and made it nastier --

more power, less weight, more rage.

Hauling me across Europe is
a 567 brake horsepower V8.

It'll clock 0 to 60 in
three and a half seconds,

on its way to a top speed of 195mph.

And that is the kind of grunt you need

when you're trying to outrun history.

With twice the power
of the original E-Type

and 21st century motorways
to help me on my way,

matching Norman's time
should be, on paper, a breeze.

But I've also got 21st century traffic

and 21st century traffic police.

If there's one hold up, I'm
not going to make this.

And as I arrived at the Channel Tunnel,

I started to realise the
magnitude of my task.

I wasn't just trying to keep
up with any old test driver --

I was trying to keep up with a legend.

After serving in the Second World War,

Norman Dewis joined Jaguar
as their chief test driver.

There, for the next 30 years,

he helped develop some of the most
iconic sports cars ever created.

In 1953, Norman set a new
production car world record,

reaching 172mph in a Jaguar XK120.

Then in 1971, during development
of the XJ13 prototype,

a rear tyre blew out, causing the
car to barrel roll three times.

It was completely destroyed.

Norman was back at work the next day.

This was the man who drove
the E-Type to Geneva,

the man I have to keep up with.

Tonight, I am following in the
footsteps of an automotive pioneer.

I'm standing on the shoulders
of an absolute giant.

And this, the most
powerful of modern Jags,

is being driven by an
idiot off the internet...

me.

Yes, entering France, with an
entire large country still to cross,

I was definitely up against it,

and the consequences
of failure would be....

significant.

The Geneva Show is the centrepiece
of the motoring calendar,

and this car is Jaguar's big reveal.

If I don't get there,

I won't just have failed Top
Gear, I'll have failed...

Britain. I better get a move on.

Oh, I should probably mention...

That carbon fibre rear wing
deploys automatically at 60mph.

In fact, if there are any
traffic cops watching this,

the wing deploys automatically at 40mph.

Make that 30.

'As the SVR ate up France,

'it was clearly more than capable
of keeping pace with Norman.

'But with the night wearing on...'

Push the ticket button, there you go.

'.. and only the occasional
local for company...'

I have no idea what you're saying.

'The car wasn't the problem -- it was me.'

So tired, so, so tired.

It was tough.

But you get on with it, don't you?

You have to keep going.

This is relentless.

How the hell did Norman Dewis do
this journey without energy drinks?

The man's a god!

And then, at last...

Daybreak.

Welcome relief from the
darkness and the final stretch.

There's tired, there's dead tired,

and then there's how
I'm feeling right now.

Fortunately, the SVR is packed
with a handy pick-me-up.

There's a new exhaust, which
is made out of Inconel.

That's the stuff they use
to build space rockets.

It saves 16kg over the
exhaust on the standard V8,

but, more importantly,

it makes a noise like an
industrial wood chipper...

.. being fed into another
industrial wood chipper. Ha-ha!

'Somewhere in the small hours,
though, my schedule had slipped

'and with just two hours until
the SVR was due onstage,

'I had over 100 miles still to cover,

'most of them on mountain roads.'

All right, hold on to your hats.

Unlike the ordinary V8 F-Type,
the SVR is all-wheel drive.

Right now, that's a good thing.

The acceleration on this
thing is just savage.

It's supercar fast.

And that noise!

I'm loving this thing.

The handling, you turn
it in, it feels sharper,

the throttle response -- more instant.

It just feels like a much
more hardcore version

of a car that is already
pretty damn hardcore.

That's exactly what I
need right now. Oh, yes!

'With the press gathering
on their show stand,

'Jaguar bosses in Geneva
were getting nervous.'

Come on, MOVE! Thank you.

Merci beaucoup.

'And my phone was going crazy.'

'The car has to be here, Rory.'

Yeah, no, no, I get it,
no, I totally get it.

- OK, bye-bye.
- Bye-bye, bye-bye.

I knew this was a bad idea,
man. I knew this was a bad idea.

'Approaching Geneva, I had just 10 minutes

'till the car was due onstage.'

There it is in front of me. I
can see it, I can see Palexpo.

Ladies and gentlemen,

the Jaguar Land Rover press
conference will shortly commence.

I need to find gate D, gate D.

Please let this be it.

I'm delivering this car to Jaguar.

Super urgent. Is this gate D? No? No.

No! I need to back up.

Ladies and gentlemen,
the Jaguar F-Type SVR.

'And there to welcome me...'

- Norman.
- Hey!

- Rory, lovely to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.

'It's about determination,
believing you'll do it.

'I never doubted for a second.'

Truly magical.

And, of course, there's one
man we'd all love to meet.

So, why don't we do that?

Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome,

with his new mate Rory Reid,
the legendary Norman Dewis, OBE.

- How are you? Come over here.
- [I'm good *** inside mate]

What an honour. Don't you agree, Rory?

Definitely. This guy, massive respect.

Look, I might have made it, but
in the spirit of keeping it real,

this guy back in 1961 did it
and he beat me by ten minutes.

Ten minutes faster.

Now, Norman has worked for Jag since 1952

in research and development.

And, now, because you were a test driver

in the most dangerous era of motoring,

technically, you shouldn't
really be here, should you?

Well... no. Uh, I had three big crashes.

But, those days, we didn't have
seatbelts or fireproof overalls

or proper crash helmets.

Uh, you just got in the car
and got on with the job.

I mean, I say, I had three big
crashes. C-Type, D-Type, XJ13.

And, uh, every time I got out of it,

I was back on the track next morning.

And, recently, I go up
a decent bit of road,

and trip up and cut my bloody wrist.

So that's the worst injury you've...

That's the worst injury I've had, yes!

That's unbelievable.

Ladies and gentlemen, Norman Dewis, OBE.

Thank you.

OK, wow, awesome.

Earlier, you remember, I was driving
this sublime Rolls-Royce Dawn --

a car I loved and a car that
Chris had a few issues with.

Yeah, so here's the real issue
with the Dawn, though, Matt,

OK, here's the deal.

With all brand-new Rolls-Royces,
it's the same thing.

Fresh out of the showroom,
they're just too flashy.

They rub people up the wrong way.

I'm not saying it's fair
on the car or the owners,

it's just the way it... It's just a fact.

You have to allow several decades
between buying a new Rolls-Royce

and then the Rolls-Royce becoming
classic, classy, and loved.

Seriously. Do you believe me?

No.

OK, look, here is what I'm
talking about. Look at this.

A 1976 Rolls-Royce Corniche.
Isn't this beautiful?

Yes.

See? It's beautiful.

Isn't this YOUR 1976 Rolls-Royce Corniche?

Yes. It's also mine, but that's
sort of precisely my point. Right?

People can't fail to smile

when this glides by even with a
tool like me behind the wheel.

OK, and the funny thing is Chris
actually believes that. All right?

So what we decided to do
was put it to the test,

OK, by taking the Dawn

and Chris's Queen Mary
here on the campaign trail.

We let the honest people of Dingle,
West Ireland decide for themselves.

Yes.

So, welcome to the Rolls-Royce Corniche,

one of the best of the very best.

OK, it may only be half
as powerful, not even,

maybe a tenth as reliable on a
good day, but you know what?

None of that matters.

In fact, it makes the
Corniche more attractive,

gives it vulnerability, you
know, makes it more human.

Chris Evans cracks me up.

He's going to be going
on and on about nostalgia

and how cars were better in the old days.

I'm here to tell you they
weren't. They sucked.

Now, on a road like this,

do you have your traction
control on or off?

Well, it's sort of permanently off

because I actually don't
have traction control.

What?

Discussions like this
are considered inelegant

when it comes to Rolls-Royces, Matthew.

The question -- old
Rolls versus new Rolls.

The town of Dingle to decide.

They would vote for their
favourite at the end of the day

so we had just a few hours to garner
as much support as we could muster.

And the campaign trail... kicked off here.

Not knowing much about Gaelic sports,

we waited for what we
hoped was half-time...

.. before targeting the
most qualified people

to judge between a couple of swanky
cars -- a load of footballers.

Bring in the teams!

What do you think, new or old?

Come on, come on, ref, get in.

Let me show you the boot.

On this one, the transmission
is hooked to the sat nav

and it can tell what's coming
and puts you in the right gear

for what the road looks
like in front of you.

'It became clear that
I was going to struggle

'with Matt in full showroom mode.'

Push down.

That sells the car right
there, that button.

'And, even worse, I had that
Hollywood charm to contend with.'

- Hi, how are you? - Good, how
are you? - Good, good, good, good.

Hang on, there's nobody
in my car any more.

'Already confident about
the evening's big vote,

'I called for an early opinion poll.'

What if we do this,

let's say all the players go
around the car that they'd prefer.

Let's try that.

I think if it was a
vote between me and you,

you obviously would become president.

I think it was the new Dawn.

It was the Dawn of a new day, if you will.

Oh, don't get all poetic on me, please.

Gaelic football had been a
disastrous start for the Corniche.

The Dawn's flashy gadgets and
the seemingly irresistible draw

of a free umbrella had won people over.

But I really think they
were missing the point.

See, the thing about a
Rolls is you have to wait.

You have to wait long
enough for time to peel back

that stigma of in-your-face ostentation,

"Look at me, I'm Charlie Big Potatoes,"

to reveal a beautiful patina
riven into the leather

and the walnut and the paint and the
very spirit and essence of the car.

'It's those more characterful
things about the Corniche

'that make me love it.

'I just needed to find
someone in Dingle to agree.

'Luckily, our next stop seemed
more likely to go in my favour.

'We'd been challenged to a smell test.'

Your car just smells of
new, it's got that new smell.

You know, the smell you
can buy in a canister

and just spray it for two quid.

Does your nose work?

To settle the dispute,

we were meeting someone whose
nose works very well indeed.

Dingle's head distiller, chief
whiskey sniffer, Michael.

If one of your products here were
to smell like an old wet dog,

would you sell it?

- No.
- Perfect.

'So, we put our roofs
up for maximum pungency,

'and seeing as that would take
Chris until sometime next week...'

How you doing over there?

Yeah, fine, thanks, I don't need any help.

'.. Michael started in the Dawn.'

Hmm.

He seems to be enjoying it.

'Turns out a quarter of a million
buys you the luxurious smell of...'

Interesting.

'Interesting? What the
hell does that mean?

'OK, time for a new approach.'

Let me tell you about
the leather in there.

The leather is made from 12 Bavarian bulls

that are raised at altitudes
too high for mosquitoes

so that they don't put holes in the hide

and treated with a special
treatment that doesn't squeak.

Move your butt around, it does not squeak.

Hmm.

- Is that nice?
- Yeah.

'Michael didn't seem entirely convinced.'

Please.

Careful the door doesn't
fall off when you open it.

What do you get?

Well, there's the wood and the leather.

It's deep, it's almost tobacco.

It is... It is very...

It's complex, but it's good.
I like it. I'm impressed.

OK, and...? Want to have another go?

That was... It was nice.

And the story with the
Bavarian cows and everything

- was beautiful, it's...
- Bulls, to be... - Sorry, bulls.

It's not always the case
that older is better,

but I think in this case, Matt,

I'm afraid I'm going to
have to go with Chris.

'Yes! I was back in the
game. And Matt wasn't happy.'

He was drunk. He was
swaying back and forth.

Did you notice that?

That last test made me realise
even more why I love this car.

Didn't realise so much
that when I get in the car,

it's already got me under its
spell because of the way it smells.

Isn't that brilliant?

'The heart and soul of the
Corniche was my secret weapon

'so I was also looking forward
to the next comparison --

'how they sound.'

This is a V8.

There's no finer sounding engine
note in the world than a V8.

Everybody knows that.

But that car has a terrible,
terrible sounding engine, though.

It really does sound like
a portable hair dryer.

'Hoping to avoid any
stereotypes about Ireland,

'we picked the first group

'of average everyday
people we could find...'

'.. and asked them which
engine's voice spoke to them.'

OK, are you ready?

Sounds like a hamster
trying to stifle a cough.

OK, now listen to this one.

- You ready?
- Yep.

- Yes?
- Yeah.

Woohoo! V8, baby!

'Dingle was beginning to fall
for the charms of the Corniche

'and I was starting to wonder
why I'd put so much faith

'in the taste of footballers.'

Which car, this car or that car?

- Uh... Your one.
- Yay!

'But the vote could still go either way.'

Excuse me, sorry to
interrupt. Very nice sheep.

- Yeah?
- Which is the best car?

Would you have this one or
would you have that one?

I think that one.

I'm sure you're an amazing farmer

but you've got a terrible taste in cars.

'With not long left till the polls opened,

'the people of Dingle were out in force

'so we hit the town for
some last minute canvassing.'

Vote with your heart! Vote for
smell, sound, class and quality.

No need to vote for the Corniche
-- it'll only let you down.

Vote brand-new technology at its finest!

Cast your votes now, cast your votes now.

'With all the votes cast, there
was nothing more we could do.

'As the day drew to a close, we
made the most of the incredible road.

'And, for just a minute,

'the competition didn't
seem quite so important.'

Look at that, wow!

Do you know what corniche
means? A road cut into a hill.

The Corniche is now on a corniche.

This is spectacular.

And these two cars, 40 years
apart, but together in spirit.

Wow! Look at this.

- It doesn't get any better.
- It really doesn't. Fantastic!

What a day!

Amazing! Amazing day.

You know, I've got to say
when this whole thing started,

I thought for sure, for me, it
was going to be the new car.

But after spending the whole
day seeing your passion for it

and seeing the people, how they love
it, the smell and the sound of it

and just the patina of the older
car and your love for that

and everything, at the end of the day,

I...

I still take the new one.

I would.

I can't lie to you, my friend.

- Honestly?
- Honestly.

I thought we'd converted you.

No.

Great scenery, great roads, great people.

Yeah, sometimes paradise
is just a ferry away.

You don't have to go to the
other side of the world.

- Thank you, Ireland.
- Yeah, thank you.

OK, we'll find out the
final result in a minute.

But first, let's take a quick
poll here. Chris, old or new?

- Old. - Yes! All right,
thank you very much indeed.

Whatever. Rory, old or new?

- You know what it is, new, all day.
- That's what I'm talking about.

Absolute crawler. Norman,
Norman, new or old?

It's got to be old.

Of course it's got to
be old! Norman knows.

OK, well, thank God it doesn't
matter what any of us think

because it's down to Dingle.

Let's cross to Ireland
for the football referee

and the teams back in the bar.

I, Richie Williams,
Gaelic football referee

and returning officer for Dingle,
hereby declare that the winner,

with 68% of the vote,
is the Rolls-Royce...

Dawn.

I told you!

Whatever! I'm going with
Norman. Shall we go with Norman?

Yes!

Sorry, Dingle. On next week's
show, a very special MGB,

the brand-new Ford Mustang
and Honda resurrects the NSX.

- Good night, everyone!
- Good night, everyone!