Original subtitles

Hello.

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas.

Oh, you too.

Hi!

Merry Christmas!

Good morning!

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

Hi, Stell!

Hey!

Hello.

Wow, that's quite a haul you've got there.

Well, that time of year.

White flour, cinnamon, molasses,

Brown sugar, gumdrops...

You know, Emily,

You can buy a kit to make these things.

You don't have to make one from scratch every year.

A pre-Fab gingerbread house?

Stell, please!

My daughter would disown me.

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

Hi, Mrs. Spengler!

Hi, guys!

Look!

Whoa!

You need a bigger hill.

Got my Christmas present from Aunt Miriam today,

A crate of pineapples.

I got grapefruit.

Well, at least she switched it up this year.

Why does that woman do that?

She lives in Wisconsin.

Maybe she thinks the cheese will melt.

Who knows?

So, you make any sort of decision

About the company or what?

I don't know, Charles.

It's a nice deal.

They upped their offer.

I think you should take it.

Uh, no offense,

But you're the last person I'm coming to

For business advice.

That's probably wise.

How's the book?

Final rewrite. I've missed two deadlines.

Publisher's not happy.

Writer's block?

Big time.

What's the problem?

I don't know, it-It's finished,

It's just not right,

And I've got to fix it over the break,

As soon as I finish grading finals.

If I only knew what was wrong with it.

Maybe you should go away.

Where?

I don't know, somewhere quiet.

No distractions.

Yeah.

Yeah, that might be a good idea.

Yeah, get a little work done,

Not have to deal with Christmas.

You shouldn't tell anybody where you're going...

Especially your publisher.

You should go on one of those house swap sites.

No, no, I'll just get a hotel.

No, you can't write in a hotel.

You pace too much. You need room.

You're probably right.

I usually am.

Wait, what are you going to do for Christmas?

Same thing I'd do if you were here.

Chinese food and the Celticss.

And pineapples.

I hate pineapple. Wanna trade?

No, I hate pineapple.

I feel kind of bad leaving you.

Hey, you've got work to do.

So do I.

We're not a very sentimental family, are we?

I've noticed that.

Yeah, Santa gets there after dessert,

And then he distributes the keychains, that's right.

Oh, he will be sober this year.

No, I promise.

What dancing elves?

No, no, no.

No, no, no, no. I've got the invoice right here.

It doesn't say anything about dancing elves.

Yeah, well, it's all listed.

I can resend it...

Hello?

No. I-I am so sorry.

No, it's not you, it-It's my, uh...

My ex-Husband.

Okay, out of which orifice

Do you suggest I start pulling dancing elves?

Hello?

Hey.

Hey.

Can you give this to Todd for me?

Thanks.

Whatcha doing?

Looking for a quiet place to study.

What are you doing?

Just the opposite, actually.

So, have you told your mom yet?

Not yet.

Are you sure you want to do this?

Yes.

Because you make it seem like

She's gonna go all operatic on you.

Christmas and everything.

Look, it's not her fault.

The first couple Christmases without dad were tough,

I understand that,

But, Jason, I've never, not once, been away.

It's home or school.

Yeah.

I've never even had a spring break

Because she's alone, but this year,

I'm doin' it.

Sometimes, I swear

She still thinks I'm in second grade.

She calls me, like, five times a day.

I've seen you call her, like, 10 times a day.

So...

That's different.

It's the same.

See?

Perfect timing.

I'll call her later.

Well, study up.

I'll catch you later.

All right.

Okay, bye.

Are you avoiding me?

No, just busy.

Did you get my email?

Yes.

And thank you,

But I'm not interested in an "over 40s singles" event.

Oh, it sounds like fun.

Come on, just take a chance.

Heather...

I just don't feel...

"Single," okay?

Look, I know it's tough, mom, but...

How long's it gonna take?

I wish I knew, honey.

So, did you book your flight?

Mom, I'm totally stressed out here,

And making a cross-Country flight for a couple of days...

It just doesn't make any sense.

This is not just any couple of days, honey,

It's Christmas!

I know it's Christmas, but...

I know what this is about.

This is because I didn't get you

That pony you wanted, isn't it?

Mom...

You've got a million friends out there.

Somebody will invite you to dinner.

You know I bought everything for the gingerbread house.

I'm 21, mom.

I got a new copy of It's A Wonderful Life.

Look, I'm there every break.

Just this one time,

Let me do something on my own?

Let me have a life.

Please?

So...

What exactly will you be having for Christmas dinner, hmm?

A microwave burrito?

I'm just going to stay here and relax.

I'll be fine.

Okay.

You do what you feel you have to do.

It's just this one year, mom.

I get it.

I'll talk to you later.

Good night.

Well, I told her.

Hey...

I told her.

Yeah?

How'd she take it?

With a large dose of guilt.

Did you tell her you were going with me?

Uh, not exactly.

You gotta stand up for yourself, heather.

I know.

Hey, do me a favor?

Yes...

Leave this thing at home?

All right.

Hello?

I didn't wake you, did I?

Hey! No, I'm still at the office.

You wouldn't happen to know any dancing elves, would you?

Afraid not.

Hey, what's the matter?

Heather's not coming home for Christmas.

Oh, you scared me.

I thought it was something serious.

It is serious.

Emily, she is 21 years old.

I'm aware of that.

You sure? 'Cause sometimes, I'm not so sure.

You weren't planning on

Making a gingerbread house with her,

Were you?

I was... just surprised.

Oh, honey, she's just got her own life.

Okay, that's exactly what she said.

You're not coaching her, are you?

You and I have had this conversation before.

You know, you're the one friend

That I thought would understand.

Can't you just...

At least fake a little sympathy?

I'm sorry.

I'm just,

I am a little stressed out, you know, with the holidays.

Ugh...

I'll talk to you later.

Hey, are you okay?

Yeah.

I'm fine.

Good night.

Good night.

Yes...

"dear Emily,

"Saw your ad. House looks great.

The dates work out perfectly for me."

"dear Charles,

"Thanks for responding so promptly.

"I think you'll find the house itself

"Very comfortable.

"There is a small studio in the backyard

That might be very good for a writing place.

"my condo is centrally located,

"And since the students will be on break,

"This end of town should be quite peaceful,

Otherwise it can get a little rowdy on the weekends."

"your references have been glowing...

"Hope you have been able to contact some of mine.

"I've been a second grade teacher

"For almost 20 years,

So I'm really not in the habit of throwing wild parties."

"I have overnighted a key to you.

"Please confirm that you received it.

"I will email directions on the burglar alarm.

Just punch in the code, and you should be fine."

"no burglar alarm to worry about here.

"Key is under the mat on the back porch,

"But to be honest,

Nobody in South Woodbourne locks the door."

"you don't lock the doors?

"Wow, I thought that only happened in movies.

"Old movies.

"Well, I'm glad this worked out.

I hope your daughter enjoys her surprise."

"I'm sure she will.

"The neighbors will be looking in on you

Should you need anything."

"Best of luck with your book."

Hi. This is Faith Kerrigan.

I need to book a round-Trip ticket to Seattle,

Coming home the day after Christmas.

Oh, and I need a rental car.

No, no, I don't need a hotel.

I'm going to go surprise an old friend.

Mom's calling.

We got a plane to catch.

Now.

Hey, Ray.

It's me, the unsentimental brother.

Your cell phone's off again.

Look, I hope you get this.

I took your advice.

I'm at the airport now.

I'm getting away from everything,

Especially Christmas.

I'll call you in a few days.

I'm in Whoville.

Santa?

I should've done more research.

Hmm...

Well...

We'll have to do something about this.

Why did we even bother to fly?

We could've just taken a stagecoach.

The pool's out back.

Come check it out.

Mom?

Surprise. I'm here.

What?

I'm here.

Here where?

Boston.

Boston?

Well, I-I'm not there!

Where are you?

W-Well...

I'm kind of in phoenix.

Phoenix!

Why are you in phoenix?

Can I help you?

I'm Sarah. This is joey.

He doesn't talk to strangers.

That's a very good habit.

Maybe you should try it.

Nice to meet you.

Mrs. Spengler told us to keep an eye on you

In case you need anything.

Oh.

Well, that's very nice, but I'm fine, thank you,

And I'm busy.

Very busy, so...

Good talk.

Wanna build a snowman?

Not today, thanks.

Does that mean you might want to tomorrow?

Probably not.

Probably never.

Thank you.

I don't want to...

Hello!

Emily asked me to look in and see if you needed anything.

I brought some cookies.

Some...

Come on.

Oh, cookies.

- How nice. - merry Christmas.

Right, thank you.

Merry...

Christmas.

You do know I flew across the country.

You should have told me.

Then it wouldn't have been a surprise.

I hate surprises.

Well, if you'd been honest with me...

Okay, mom, I'm sorry.

I just, I didn't want a ton of guilt.

Heather, it's Christmas!

And I wanted to do something different.

Just this one year, something on my own.

okay...

Can't you just go home?

What home?

I did a house-Swap thing

With a professor named Charles Johnson.

Charles Johnson, I know him.

We just read his book in American lit. Class.

Yes, well, I think his interior decorator

Worked in a mental hospital, or something,

But I'll cope.

Where are you in phoenix anyway?

Jason's grandparents lent us their house.

It's very... nice.

Jason.

That's the young man you've been seeing, right?

Yes.

Ah.

Okay.

Don't start.

I'm not starting anything.

I'll call you tomorrow.

Bye.

I'll talk to you later, mom. Bye.

Christmas...

Hello?

Hello, sir. Is this Ray Johnson?

Yes.

An alarm has been triggered at 123 West Cordova.

An officer is on the way.

Um... okay, uh.

I-I'll be there in five minutes.

Okay...Oh. Oh...

Uh... Ms. Kerrigan, I'm afraid there's a problem.

Your driver's license expired in November.

What? You're kidding?

Sorry. I'm afraid

We can't rent you a car without a valid license.

Oh, come on, can't you just, you know,

Overlook this little technicality?

I mean, I know how to drive.

I'm sure you do.

Okay, then, so can you just let this one slide through?

I'm sorry.

No one will rent you a car without a valid license.

Okay. Okay, look,

This is the problem.

I have to get to a town

That's 150 miles from here.

There's nothing that I can do.

I'm sorry.

Can I help you

Over here, please?

Yes...

I-I understand,

I'm asking you to make an exception.

Look, I will send you

A photocopy of my driver's license

Once I renew it. Please...

We're looking for a place called big elk lake.

Do you have any maps?

Hey, guys.

I can tell you how to get there.

Great.

As a matter of fact,

I was just on my way to a town

That's about 20 miles from there.

Tell you what,

How would you like a free tank of gas?

Are you Mr. Johnson?

Uh, yes. Yes, I am.

My, um,

My brother's out of town, so they called me.

Up on the sixth floor.

Freeze!

An intruder was reported at these premises.

Identify yourself.

No, no, no, I'm not an intruder.

I'm a tenant.

I'll prove it.

We're "Santa and friends'

Musical north pole extravaganza."

Friends?

The other guy got a commercial.

Oh, great.

We do 12 malls in three days.

Hey, do you dance?

Three years tap, two ballet.

I went to juilliard.

Okay, you know what, you need to call me,

Because I may have work for you next year.

Cool, thanks.

We're all set.

Okay, see?

Here are the emails.

And, uh, these are the keys

That he sent me.

Well, I just, uh,

Spoke with my brother, and he confirms everything.

Well, good night, then.

I'm sorry to have startled you, Mrs. Spengler.

No problem.

Just doing your job.

Good night.

I am very, very sorry.

Your own brother didn't tell you?

No, I told him not to tell anybody.

I didn't think that included me.

Well, no harm done.

Well, that's very understanding of you.

Most people wouldn't be...

Did you, uh...

Did you decorate?

Oh, yeah.

A couple of things.

I can leave them here for your brother

If he wants.

Oh, no.

I don't think that's a good idea.

Charles isn't especially into Christmas stuff.

Oh.

I didn't know that.

Again, I-I want to apologize.

Oh, please...

It was an adventure.

I have a story to tell

The folks back home.

It's good to see it that way, I guess.

Um, can I ask you a question

Before you go?

Sure.

Do you know how to turn on the television?

Are you sure she won't mind us using her bathroom?

Are you kidding?

Knowing Emily she'll send you home with cookies.

That's funny, she never locks the door.

You know what, don't worry about it.

There's a key around back.

I will be right back.

What is it with this place?

Emily!

Hey!

who are you?

Where is Emily?

Emily... d-Daughter...Boston...

Emily's in daughter with her Boston...

Hey, leave her alone!

I can break this door down!

I'm fine, I'm fine!

Now I got a violent elf.

That's good...

What are you doing here?

What am I... What are... I-I'm supposed to be here!

I'm supposed to be here.

Emily's in mine, and I'm in hers.

That didn't come out right.

A house swap...

We're doing a house swap!

Okay.

gosh...

Who are you? Wait, don't let those...

Hey, you okay, Faith?

He giving you trouble?

Back off, elf!

Back off...

Everybody settle down!

I can explain everything.

If you guys are going to rob the place,

Could you start with the decorations?

It's around the corner

To your right.

Come on, chop chop.

Where are Santa and the elf going?

Who are you? What is going on here?

They need to use the bathroom,

And then I am going to make them

A cup of coffee for the road,

And you don't have to worry,

Because I know where everything is.

I'm sorry.

I am Faith Kerrigan.

Charles... Johnson.

Nutcracker...

Okay, Charles.

So, what do you like to go by,

Chuck? Charlie?

Charles.

Hmm, one of those.

Okay, I won't be a minute.

Do you want a cup of coffee?

No... What? No!

So you came across the country,

And she's in phoenix?

Yeah.

I wanted to surprise her.

Didn't quite work out, though.

Okay, I wrote it all down.

This is the TV.

You press these two buttons.

This is the DVD,

And this is the stereo.

Maybe I'll just read.

And this is the fireplace.

Whoa.

We do things the old-Fashioned way

Back home.

We use matches.

I won't be needing this.

Oh, okay.

Do you need anything else?

No, that's it. Thanks.

Okay, well, I left my card,

In case you have any questions

Or need anything.

"Tech-Sec."

What's that?

That's my company.

Software protection and security.

Mm. Sounds mysterious.

Actually, it's, uh, very technical

And a little dull.

Well, at least it sounds exciting.

That's something.

Do...

Do you, uh, know anyone here?

Oh. No.

Just...

Adrift.

Well, uh,

Tell you what...

Would you...

Why don't..?

Why don't you let me

Take you out for dinner tomorrow night?

Dinner?

Yeah. Yeah, and I could write down some places for you to go,

Local tourist stuff?

Unless you have plans...

No, no.

No plans.

Dinner then.

Dinner then.

7:00?

7:00.

See you then.

Sure.

dinner...

Let me get this straight,

You just hopped on a plane,

Drove out here to the middle of nowhere,

To surprise your friend?

Yes...

Well, surprise.

She's not here.

Ah! Ah!

Ooh, you okay?

Yeah, I'm fine.

Oh, she made you cookies.

Yeah, everyone in this burg made me cookies.

Do you mind? I am starving.

No, go right ahead, please help yourself.

She makes the best cookies.

Well, good for her.

So...

What are we going to do about this?

I think you should try a cookie.

No, I...

No, thank you.

I-I'm fine.

So, what... what are your plans? Are you...

Tea's in the tin.

Above the stove.

I could take you to a hotel.

There is no hotel in South Woodbourne.

What about North Woodbourne?

There is no North Woodbourne.

Then why do they call this South Woodbourne?

Listen,

Just let me crash in heather's room tonight.

I will take a bus back to Seattle tomorrow.

Cups are on the right.

No, my right, my right.

In the cupboard.

So you're saying... stay here?

Yeah, just till tomorrow.

okay...

Yeah, here's the thing.

I'm a writer.

Oh.

And I'm here to write, okay?

So I'm on a very strict deadline,

And I need to work.

Mm.

What do you write?

Well, it's...

It-It's not...

I'm rewriting my novel,

If you must know, miss nosey-Parker, so what I'm...

- Anything I've heard of? - Probably not.

I'm trying to tell you I cannot have any distractions.

What distractions?

I'm going to bed,

And then I'm going to get up in the morning,

Come downstairs, have a cup of coffee...

Your water's boiling, by the way...

And get on a bus.

I just don't think it's a very good idea.

So...

Are you afraid of me?

No, I'm not...

Because you know you can lock your door.

That's not what I'm worried about.

Then what are you worried about?

I'm not... Who said I was worried about anything?

You just did just now.

No, I... Fine.

Look, I am not gonna murder you

In the middle of the night

And steal your cookies, okay?

I didn't think that you were.

Then what is the problem?

There is no problem!

Good. Then I'm staying.

Seriously, these cookies are so delicious.

One night?

One night.

Then the first bus.

First bus.

Fine.

Close the drapes and turn out the lights.

Night-Night.

Nighty...

He doesn't deserve these cookies.

You're kidding me?

Oh... I don't believe this.

I wanted to surprise you.

Okay, new year's resolution right now...

No more surprises.

They're just not working out for us this year.

Yeah, tell me about it.

This Charles guy is a total jerk.

Yeah, well, his brother seems very nice.

You met him?

Yup.

In fact,

He's taking me to dinner tonight.

Dinner?

What, like, a date?

Like a real date?

I don't know about that.

I think he just feels guilty

For almost having me arrested.

What?

Long story.

Listen, I have to go.

Hemingway approaches.

Hey.

Hey.

Oh.

I'll give you a ride.

No, really, it's fine. I know the way.

I can spare five minutes.

Do you need a hand?

I-I can help.

No, I'm fine.

I think I figured it out.

What bothers me about the house,

Besides, like, the skulls on the wall.

Yeah, what's that?

Well, there's no Christmas tree.

We have to have a Christmas tree!

why is that?

Well, because it's Christmas, that's why.

Yeah, but we're in the desert.

I mean, I guess we could

Decorate a cactus or something.

Aw... please?

all right,

I'll get you a little one.

Okay, so I'll, uh,

I'll just leave it right by the door here.

Okay, great. Thanks.

Right.

Okay. Good. Have a nice trip.

You too.

Oh, you've got to be kidding me!

Charles!

What's up?

There's only one bus a week to Seattle.

Is that right?

And is that today?

No, not until Thursday.

Christmas.

Oh.

That...

That would...

That's tough.

Tough break, tough break.

What are you going to do?

Let's go back to Emily's and discuss it.

What?

Discuss...

Emily's?

Charles, can you open this, please?

Are you sure?

Okay, uh-Huh.

All right, thank you.

Well?

All four inns within 50 miles are booked for the holidays.

I don't believe this.

Hey, I know!

Lookit, you drive me to Seattle

And I will pay you for the gas.

300-Mile round trip, let me think about that.

No thanks, I have to work!

What do you suggest I do?

Mm, hitchhike?

Oh, come on, this is just until Christmas.

Which is an eternity...

That's it, I'm buying a gun.

No, you know what, I am gonna take care of this.

Those kids are trouble.

Those kids are...

Hey, guys!

I'm Sarah.

This is joey.

He doesn't talk to strangers.

okay...

Nice to meet you, Sarah and joey.

I'm Faith.

Wanna build a snowman?

You know what,

That sounds like a ton of fun.

I would love to.

Is the grouchy man inside?

Does he want to help?

One second, I'll be right back, okay?

Okay, so they're not going to bother you again today

Because I promised to help with a snowman.

Good.

And Sarah mentioned

You were kind of grouchy yesterday.

I wasn't grouchy.

I think you probably were.

I think I probably wasn't.

I think you were. Anyway, look,

I'm going to run interference with the neighbors.

No one will interrupt you, including myself.

You will not even know

That I'm here.

So, go.

Write.

You go.

- No, you go. - No, you go.

I am gonna go.

So am I.

- Fine. - Fine.

Ooh! It's A Wonderful Life is playing tomorrow night!

What's that?

You've never seen It's A Wonderful Life?

With Jimmy Stewart and the angel, and...

No.

It's a great movie.

Mom and I watch it every year.

Yeah, but mom is not here.

Remember?

Oops.

Old habits.

Hey.

I'm glad we did this.

Yeah, me too.

Whoo!

Hey, Jase! Hey, heather!

I thought you guys were in Las Vegas. Hey.

Yeah, we got asked to leave.

You got asked to leave Las Vegas?

Long story.

So phoenix is, like, two hours away.

We thought we'd surprise you guys.

Right.

Uh, how did you find us?

It's your grandparents' place, dude.

The same last name.

We looked it up in phone book.

Come here. Come here.

dude, I don't know if this is such a good idea.

I sort of promised heather

That we would hang out together over...

Dude, dude...

Look what I brought.

Come on.

It's only for a couple days, right?

You spent how much?

It was a Christmas present to myself.

Yeah, but you're not even sure if this is an actual date.

I know.

But I just looked at the women around here,

And I felt...

Frumpy.

Oh, yeah, and how do you look now?

I look kind of...

Different.

Good different or bad different?

Good different.

Good.

oh, he's here.

Gotta go.

Okay, have fun.

- Hi... - Hi.

You look great.

Oh...

Thank you.

You ready?

Sure.

Okay.

I thought you said

You weren't going to interrupt...

...Me.

You know, this is the first time

In my entire life

I'm not spending Christmas in South Woodbourne.

Every Christmas?

Yeah, every one.

I was raised there.

Went to college nearby.

Married frank.

I teach in the same classroom

Where I was a student in second grade.

Well, what's it like being someplace else?

A little... weird.

My last Christmas, I was in...

Messina.

Sicily?

Mm-Hmm.

The Piazza del Duomo with the fountain,

And the San Ranieri lighthouse,

Did you see that?

Afraid not.

When were you there?

Oh, I've never been there.

I mean...

I like to read about places.

See, frank and I...

Down the road when we retired...

Talked about, you know,

Visiting all the places that I had only seen pictures of,

And we had it all planned, too.

And then...

You know, frank...

One phone call...

Your entire life...

All those plans...

Things change.

Last few Christmases must have been tough.

Yes.

They were.

So...

How did you spend Christmas growing up?

Well, um, actually,

Christmas wasn't a big deal for us.

We moved around a lot...

A lot...

And sometimes, we didn't even have a Christmas tree.

What? You're kidding.

No.

That's terrible.

We got over it.

Wow, I don't know,

I have trouble even picturing Christmas

Without the whole thing.

I mean, stockings,

The tree.

Cookies laid out for Santa,

Although frank used to say, "Santa would prefer a beer."

But I mean, no tree?

I mean, for little kids, that's pretty...

It's none of my business.

I'm just a traditionalist,

I guess.

That's not a problem.

Sorry.

It's heather.

I'll call her back.

She's not answering.

I don't know, maybe she's busy.

Come on, Jase, busy doing what?

Here's to Charles.

Mm!

Hey.

There's another plate of cookies

And fruitcake on the table for you.

That's terrible.

I didn't hear anybody come by.

I intercepted them on the lawn.

Ah-Hah, well, thank you for that.

And thank you for the snack, but you didn't have to do that.

Ah, I gotta earn my keep.

Just be the doorman, that's all I ask.

Hey, listen, do you happen to know of a restaurant in town

Where I wouldn't be besieged by happy people

Wishing me "merry Christmas?"

Do you have a problem with that?

Yeah, kind of.

Total strangers waving at me on the street.

"Merry Christmas!" It's not normal.

Look, you don't have to go for dinner.

I made a chicken.

A chicken?

Oh, now, look, I wouldn't want to...

I wouldn't want to burden you...

A whole chicken.

Oh.

It's probably a little bit dry.

I am a terrible cook.

But I also made salad.

That way, you can, you know, work and eat if you want.

Well, I...

Is that your aftershave?

Yes.

Hmm.

It's not bad.

Whenever I have a serious decision to make,

I make a list of the pros and the cons.

Selling your business

Sounds like a pretty full "pro" column to me.

No cons.

I wish it were that simple.

What's complicating it?

You'll consult.

The rest of the time is yours.

Well, that's what I'm scared of.

What will I do with that time?

What would you want to do?

You know what,

I never really thought about it.

You should try.

Go back to some of those places

You've already been to,

And see something besides the corporate center,

Or the gym.

That's easy for you to say.

Emily, you have summers off.

You read these books about places.

You should hop on a plane and see them.

I don't know...

What's stopping you?

There's heather.

She's 21.

And, well...

Okay, maybe I'm scared.

Scared of what?

I'm not sure.

You know what I think?

I think you should go have some fun.

Take a chance, go on an adventure.

Hah! This from a man

Who was in India four times

Before he left his hotel and saw the Taj Mmahal.

Ah, you know what, I'm going to go back,

I'm going to play the tourist.

You know, there's no rush.

There's plenty of time for it.

That's what frank used to say.

Ah, look.

Isn't that pretty?

Yes, you are.

Charles...

Mm?

Would you mind a little suggestion?

About what?

Well, I hope you don't mind,

But I read your first few chapters.

What?

They were just laying out.

you... they... they were just...

"They were just laying out"?

If I left my wallet out,

Would you- Would you rifle through that, too?

Well, I didn't think it was top secret.

It's a work-In-Progress.

Which is why I have some thoughts that may help.

Okay?

What are you...

Ha, ha, ha! Ho!

I didn't want to ruin your pages.

Unbelievable.

I really like the story.

Oh, thank you.

I do, I'm totally caught up.

It's just...

Just what?

Samantha.

The girlfriend.

What about Samantha the girlfriend?

She is a total witch.

Please feel free to respell that if you want.

Bi...

She's the antagonist!

Yeah, but she's evil.

I keep expecting her to kick a puppy

Or foreclose on an orphanage.

Unbelievable...

You know, and- And if Edward is in love

With a woman like that,

It just makes him look like an idiot.

Well, maybe that's what I want!

A witch and an idiot?

Okay, you know what, who are you?

Do you have a job? How do you make a living?

Yes, I do. I'm in corporate event planning,

Mm-Hmm, mm-Hmm.

It's very fulfilling.

I want to be challenged. I am looking for a change...

Yeah, don't care. Know why?

You're not a writer... I'm a writer!

Yes, but I am a reader,

And if I bought this book

I would have thrown it out after the third chapter

Because, clearly, the author

Does not understand women...

Well, who does?

Oh, excuse me?

Okay, you know what,

That is exactly the attitude that all men have...

"All men!"

O-Kay, "all men".

Great.

Now I know what I'm dealing with, okay.

Excuse me?

- You heard me. - Excuse me?

I'd love to see your notes on some Shakespeare.

Yeah, Macbeth, "oh, yeah, William,

"The wife's a bit nasty, isn't she?

Could she please not suggest any more murders?"

Oh, that is so ridiculous.

You know that is not what I meant.

Samantha is exactly the way I want her, okay?

And your prejudiced, gender-Specific

Female views aside,

Let me inform you

That she happens to be based on someone that I know.

No.

No, she's based on someone you hate.

Oh!

Big difference.

Yeah, okay, you know what,

I am under a very serious, very serious,

Gun-At-My-Head deadline here,

And the last thing I need

Are some thoughts and notes

From some non-Writing, man-Loathing,

Corporate event party planner!

Thank you for dinner!

You're welcome!

Um, I have a question for you.

Sure.

Dinner tonight...

Did you ask me out

Because you felt guilty about almost having me arrested?

Well, uh, yeah.

Honest man.

I thought if I was nice, you wouldn't sue me or anything.

Well, you can relax.

I'm not going to sue you.

It was nice meeting you.

I had a lovely evening.

Thanks.

You're quite welcome.

Bye.

Now that we got the lawsuit out of the way,

Are you busy tomorrow?

Well, I'm glad it was a real date

After all the money you spent.

At first, I was scared to death,

But then...

I don't know, I just...

He was just easy to talk to.

He's pleasant,

Intelligent...

Very good-Looking.

How's the brother?

Opposite in every way.

Well, I mean, except for the looks.

You know, he's not bad to look at.

Plus, he smells good.

What, you were sniffing him?

So are you going to go out again?

Yup. Tomorrow.

I'm not sure what we're doing yet, but...

Emily...

Can you believe,

He didn't even have a Christmas tree

When he was younger.

Emily, I...

And you know, I know it was just one dinner, but...

I just felt so... comfortable with him.

Good. Emily...

I know, I know,

I'm running on at the mouth.

No, it's not that.

Can I give you a piece of advice?

What?

Listen, I am really glad

That you're having a good time,

I just want you to protect yourself,

Because you're not going to be there very long.

You're coming home soon.

You know, don't forget that.

I won't.

Good.

Bye.

Bye.

So, what do you know about her?

Her references were good.

No criminal record

If that's what you're wondering.

What's her place like?

Like a Hallmark store without the cards.

What do you care?

I'm just curious.

No, something's going on.

You sound weird. What's going on?

Nothing is going on.

It's just, uh,

We had dinner, and she's nice.

Everyone in this town is nice.

There must be something in the water.

She's different, I guess, uh...

Most of the women I meet,

They're MBAs with a dagger between their teeth.

That sounds like her friend.

How's that going?

On the plus side,

She's good at running interference.

And on the down side?

Everything else.

Is she attractive?

She's obnoxious.

Pushiest woman I ever met...

Has an opinion on absolutely everything...

In an obnoxious, pushy, opinionated sort of way,

She's... okay, I guess.

Now you're the one who's sounding weird.

I don't sound weird. You sound weird.

Gotta go.

What? Ray!

Hey.

Hello.

I hope you're wearing comfortable shoes.

So, what do you want to see first?

Everything.

All right.

♪ if I was a snowflake falling ♪

♪ I would follow you

♪ the world so loud a big great cloud ♪

♪ but we would drift right through ♪

♪ I would settle on your shoulder ♪

♪ to see how it felt

♪ listen to you singing softly ♪

♪ till I'd finally melt

♪ come on and string the lights up ♪

♪ come on outside

♪ let's go and sing our promise ♪

♪ raise our voices up

See, now, Boston is

One of the finest dining cities in the country.

I felt like a hot dog.

Well, we could go someplace warm

And eat it if you want.

No, no, I'm fine.

I love it out here.

I hope this touristy thing

Isn't boring you.

No, no, actually,

I haven't been to most of these places.

How long have you lived here?

20 years.

And you haven't been the least bit curious?

Well, you know, look, it's what happens

When you live someplace.

It is a known fact

That most people who live in New York

Have never been to the top of the empire state building.

Well, that is,

Until relatives come to visit them from out of town.

What are you looking for?

A tissue?

Why didn't you say something?

Let's see what I have in my handy-Dandy bag here...

So, uh,

If I were a tourist in South Woodbourne,

Where would you take me?

Uh, North Woodbourne?

Oh, there is no North Woodbourne.

Then why do they call it

South woodbourne?

I don't know, it never really came up.

We'd go hiking in the mountains.

Canoeing definitely.

Berry-Picking in the summer,

Apple-Picking in the fall.

Oh, and Christmas...

It's huge there.

Christmas...

The concerts, the parties, it's...

You miss it, huh?

Yeah.

A bit.

Oh, here you go.

Thanks.

So, it's...

That's quite an inventory you have there.

Well, what can I say, I'm a second grade teacher.

You'd be amazed at what I have in this bag.

Oh, wait.

Check this one out.

Oh.

Boys favorite.

That's fantastic.

I didn't want to bother you.

Here's the review.

Hmm.

Yay. I'm so glad we get to watch this together.

Okay, maybe I don't want to know,

But how did you get rid of your friends?

I gave them two-For-One-Coupons

To a bar with a Christmas wet t-Shirt contest.

Ugh, sounds festive.

Okay, I really hope you like this,

'Cause mom and I watch it every year, without fail,

And we turn off all the lights

Except for the Christmas tree,

And have popcorn and cocoa...

Hey, um, heather?

Mm-Hmm?

Do you want to go home?

No.

'Cause, like, for the last few weeks,

You've been talking about

How you wanted to get away from your mom for Christmas,

But ever since we got here...

It'd be one thing if she stayed home,

But she's all alone in a strange city.

I just...

I understand if you want to go back.

I don't want to go back.

Okay.

Yay!

Wait, it's black and white?

You'll get over it.

That beginning is so much better.

Thank you.

And I'm not just being nice.

I really mean it.

Trust me, that never entered my thinking.

When we meet Samantha now,

She's smart, and interesting, and so much more complex.

Thank you.

I would've thought a woman wrote it.

What?

Oh, that's a compliment.

Well, excuse me for missing it.

Is white okay? Because I have a red...

What does that mean,

"I would've thought a woman wrote it"?

Oh, come on, Charles, most men do not know

How to write strong female characters.

Is that right?

Yeah, it is right.

You guys don't know how to deal with this stuff.

You either see women as sex objects

Or mother figures.

Whatever you say, mom.

Okay, see, that's what I'm talking about.

Total immaturity...

I love the way you generalize.

You just group us all together, right?

If you don't believe me,

I speak from experience.

Yes, I know, and that's why you hate men...

I don't hate men! I love men.

I just don't like them all the time.

Yeah, good talk.

I gotta work.

Did my notes help?

Because you did a complete 180, and the book is better.

Is that a coincidence?

I don't think so.

I think my notes helped,

Didn't they?

Yes...

are those the new pages?

Yes.

I'll get back to you when I'm finished.

What just...

Hi.

Hey, good morning.

So, what's on the agenda today?

Actually, I have a little favor to ask you.

Sure.

Yeah, yeah. All right.

Gotta go. Bye-Bye.

Sorry.

The business?

Yeah, yeah.

They're a little anxious.

End of the fiscal year.

So, you find one you like?

Oh, I found mine 10 minutes ago.

I'm just wandering.

A little homesick, I guess.

Every year, my father and i,

We'd go out to the woods,

He'd cut down a fresh tree.

Your childhood was something out of Norman Rockwell,

Wasn't it?

yep.

And then when heather was a little girl,

Frank decided he was going to continue on with the tradition.

So, they got to the woods,

And he starts to saw down the tree,

She begins to cry.

Aw.

She thought he was hurting the tree.

From then on,

We just picked one out, had it delivered.

I don't see a lot of writing going on.

Well, I'm thinking.

You blocked?

No, I'm not blocked.

I'm thinking.

You look a little blocked.

Okay, I don't look blocked because I'm not blocked,

And how does one look blocked anyway?

I just understand being blocked.

Okay, I'm not blocked.

I'm going to tell you what I do when I'm blocked.

I'm not blocked...

Sometimes, I will be doing,

Like, five events for the same client,

So I want to do something different, right,

And I get completely stumped.

The worst thing I can do

Is walk around my office thinking,

So I go out.

I go to the gym, or I go shopping,

Or you know, whatever.

Just to get my mind off it,

And then bang!

A great new idea happens.

Trust me, you should try it.

Just go, do something to get your mind off it.

That's it.

I'm going to buy that gun.

- No... - It's those kids...

I'm on it, I'm on it.

Merry Christmas!

She forgot to cancel

The Christmas tree delivery.

No...

Know what, I think we should put it in the corner.

No.

I beg your pardon?

I'm not having a Christmas tree in this house.

Oh, no, do you have allergies?

I don't have allergies.

Is this a religious thing?

It's not a religious thing, okay?

What on earth do you have against Christmas trees?

Okay, look, blondie,

I'm not debating it with you, okay?

I-I'm the landlord here.

I have a contract, all right?

You're the-The-The interloper.

I prefer "guest."

Okay, you know what,

Let me just move your Christmas tree.

Excuse me, thank you.

Okay? Ow.

Ow.

It's prickly.

Ow.

It's really spiky...

There.

Finished.

Crude,

But economical.

Hmm?

Trust me,

This is much easier with grown-Up scissors.

One week before Christmas,

Seven-Year-Olds are bouncing off the walls.

You have to do something to keep them active.

Show me a second grade teacher

Who can't decorate a tree for under $3.00,

And I'll show you an amateur.

What? What's so funny?

You.

Oh?

In a good way.

In a good way.

So, how do you manage...

Just hook it on that branch,

And just wrap it around.

Funny how?

Well, look, you got to understand that, well,

Christmas has always been just another day.

I haven't decorated a tree since...

Since I was a little kid,

And that was at an aunt's house.

Most Christmases,

I'm in a hotel or something.

For a couple years,

Charles and I got together with his fiancee,

And we'd do a family sort of...

Charles was engaged?

Yeah, for a couple years.

It didn't work out, but it was fun for a while.

Turkey, presents, the whole nine yards,

But after they broke up,

It sort of went back

To the way it's always been.

Basketball and Chinese food?

Right.

But this year...

I don't know, it's weird.

For the first time in I don't know how long,

It feels like Christmas.

Okay. Start your engines.

one, two, three!

Nice one!

Blocked, huh?

yeah.

Let me have one of them saucers.

Okay, he's there. Give it your best shot.

What are you...

Oh, do you want a shot at the champ?

Go ahead, go ahead,

Go on, try it.

Ugh! That's right,

I come from a long line of...

Mowing down children with snowball...

Come on, do your worst...

Okay.

All right, small humans, you'll see.

You'll get yours.

This arm is registered

With the American snowball association.

Hey! Whoa!

Ugh!

That's it.

Yes, yes, yes!

Yes!

What's wrong with him?

He is a writer.

So tell me something.

Sure.

How have you managed it?

Managed what?

Well, successful businessman.

Very bright.

Pleasant company.

All those things,

And you don't mind doing dishes.

How did you manage to avoid...

Marriage?

Mm-Hmm.

I know it's none of my business.

I'm just curious.

Oh, no, it's okay.

It's an old cliche.

Married to the business.

I didn't think I was trying to avoid it.

There has been, well, say, a woman I liked.

And then, bang,

I got to go to Asia for a couple of months.

It's not exactly conducive

To sustaining a relationship.

Well, if you liked her,

Why didn't you just take her with you?

Well, maybe...

I didn't like her as much as I thought.

Sorry.

Heather?

Hi, mom.

Hi, honey, listen,

I'm going to have to call you back.

I'm a little busy right now.

Love you. Bye.

Okay, something is really wrong.

Okay, look...

Listen, I got to slow down, um...

You okay?

Yeah, I am...

I just...

I'm leaving in a couple of days.

Wish you weren't.

Well...

I am.

Is that all that's bothering you?

Yeah.

No.

Okay, look, this is going to sound really crazy,

But, um...

I feel a little guilty.

Makes no sense, right?

Frank's been gone for almost three years now.

But it's still very tough

To get over something like that.

I mean, sure, we got on each other's nerves...

That's marriage, you know,

But, um...

For the most part, it was really great,

And we were very lucky,

And Christmas was just...

Well, it was special.

I'm sorry

I'm so...

I don't know.

Ray, meeting you...

I just wasn't expecting this.

I should be at home

Decorating gingerbread houses right now...

And here you are.

Yeah.

I'm a little...

I'm a little confused.

A little confused, what am I saying?

I'm very confused.

Hey...

Emily,

I wish I could say

That...

I know how you're feeling,

But I can't.

I've never felt like that about anybody before.

Well, you should try,

Because you're really missin' out

On somethin' special.

What I'm trying to say, Emily, is that...

Well, I think I'm starting to feel that way right now.

I should go.

I'm so sorry.

Don't be.

I'll, uh, see you tomorrow?

I hope so.

Okay, okay, calm down.

I can't calm down.

I feel...

I feel I...

I don't know how I feel,

Like I'm a teenager or something.

Did you get lucky?

No. Stop that.

Okay... Oh, hold for a sec.

I have another call. Hello?

Hey, Faith. It's heather.

Have you talked to mom?

Hey, heather. Hold for a sec.

Okay, it's heather.

She wants to know if I've talked to you.

Okay, tell her no.

And-And tell her I'm fine.

Okay.

Hey, heather...

Oh, you know what, hold for a sec.

Okay, which is it? "No" or "I'm fine?"

I'm fine!

Okay, you know, I really hate

Being caught in the middle like this.

Okay, just tell her I'm fine.

I gotta go. I'll talk to you later.

Okay, bye.

Hi, heather.

You know... You know what, honey,

I'm going to call you right back.

Hey.

You.

If you are stalking me, I'm going to call the cops.

ha... ha, ha.

Lookit,

No post-Its.

Well, isn't that better than a Pulitzer.

I am dying to know how it ends.

He doesn't kill her painfully, does he?

Well...

Painfully...

No, that's the first draft.

Listen, can we just call a truce

For tonight?

Why don't you come and join me?

I was actually very happy living here.

You know, I thought it would be

A great place to raise a family.

Then, one day, my husband came home

And said that we were moving,

And he...

He just took me to this strange city,

And three months later, he walked out.

Men, huh?

Yeah.

So, I want to know,

Is, um, Samantha

Based on your fiancee?

How do you...

We said we weren't going to...

How do you know about that?

Ray told Emily, and then Emily told me.

Unbelievable.

You know, I think

There's something going on with those two.

What have you heard?

I've just heard things.

What have you heard?

Nothing specific,

But Ray...

Ray's normally...

He's a...

Very serious.

But now he's...

Now he sounds like...

He sounds like...

I don't know what he sounds like,

But he doesn't sound like Ray.

Okay, you know what, that is the same with Emily.

This is weird.

I know, right?

Yeah...

You are avoiding

The subject.

I want to know,

Is Samantha based on your fiancee?

Yes!

Yes...

Samantha is based on my fiancee...

My ex-fiancee.

And you used her in "long weekend," too, right?

How do you know about "long..."

I-I ordered a couple of your novels

The other night.

Really?

Really.

Well... thank you.

It's a beautiful book.

Was that when you guys first met?

Your honeymoon phase?

Yeah. I guess.

Honeymoon phase...

I think they want us to leave.

Okay.

Will you finish the book on time?

Maybe tomorrow.

Ah, I can't wait to buy one.

Oh, I can send you a copy.

Autographed?

Of course.

And I want something personal, too.

None of this "best wishes" stuff.

You know, I'd like to impress my friends.

Well, I'll see what I can do.

Look, I have to... I have to tell you,

You have been extremely helpful,

And I don't mean just answering doors.

Well, it's a good story, Charles.

You just had to soften Samantha,

That's all.

That wasn't easy.

How long has it been since you guys broke up?

It'll be two years tomorrow night.

Tomorrow night is Christmas eve.

Oh.

Yeah, I...

I came home,

And I saw her decorating the tree,

And I thought, "well, that's odd

Because we've already decorated the tree,"

Then I realized she was un-Decorating the tree.

She was moving out

And taking all the decorations with her.

She left me some tinsel.

Not the good kind either, the cheap stringy stuff.

Ah...

So is this why you hate Christmas?

I don't hate Christmas, Faith.

I just don't want to be reminded of...

Things.

That's all.

That is the problem with the holidays.

The good stuff is always

So much better than it really is,

And the depressing stuff is always so much worse.

Well, maybe it'll get good one day soon.

Hey.

We've got a flight this afternoon.

What do you mean?

Well, you are miserable without your mom,

And I can't stand seeing you miserable, so...

Jase, you don't have to.

I mean, it makes no sense for both of us to go.

You can stay.

I'm not staying here without you.

Okay?

So just, uh, don't give me a hard time

About this one.

I still can't figure you out.

What?

Well, one minute,

You're this total fratboy clown,

And then the next,

You do something really sweet, and...

Okay, I'll say it, mature.

Oh, "mature."

Well, uh...

Just don't expect it all the time.

Please.

Let's get packing.

Okay.

Hello!

Hey...

Hey, where were you?

I went to get stuff for dinner,

And I figured you being from Boston,

You might find this kind of traditional.

Finished?

Finished.

Finished!

Whoo-Hoo!

Lobster...

Ah, perfect.

Champagne.

It's like we're at a wedding.

Well, we are celebrating, but not just Christmas.

I made a big decision today.

Oh?

I am selling my company.

What made you decide that?

Well, I decided

I can't be scared about the future.

I've played it safe my whole life.

I'm going to take a chance,

And if I get bored,

I'll find something else to do,

And, in the meantime,

I'm going to have some fun.

Well, that sound like an excellent idea.

Oh, you want to see your present?

Wait, you didn't have to get me anything.

Why do people always say that?

Of course, I had to get you something.

No, but, see, I didn't get you anything.

I-I went to look a couple of times,

But I...

Do you want to see your present?

No.

Not until Christmas.

After midnight.

Okay.

You sure?

Mm-Hmm.

All right.

Doubly sure?

Very sure.

She paid the delivery, so...

Yeah, right.

Okay, well, the decorations are under the stairs.

- Okay. - Okay, good.

One hour until Christmas.

Mom!

Surprise!

Honey!

How did you get in here?

The door was open.

Hey, uh...

You must be heather.

Ray, I am so sorry.

No, Emily, your daughter came across the country

To be with you.

I'd say you're a very lucky woman.

I know, I know, it's just...

It wasn't exactly what I had planned.

Well, maybe it's for the best.

What do you mean?

Your life is 3,000 miles away from here,

And you're leaving in a couple of days.

Maybe it's better

If we don't make things

Any more complicated than they are.

Yeah. Maybe...

Maybe you're right.

But...

That doesn't mean you couldn't spend tomorrow...

I'd... feel funny.

You should spend Christmas

With your daughter.

Your gift.

Ray...

They're beautiful.

I left the receipt in there

In case you want to exchange them...

No, I don't want to exchange them.

I love them.

I just still feel kind of bad that I didn't get you anything.

Hey, Emily,

You gave me the best Christmas I've had

In a very, very long time.

Thank you.

I can't believe it's finished.

You just had to work on her character.

Everything else was good.

I've been banging my head against the wall for months.

You just needed a fresh set of eyes.

Yup.

Female eyes.

To female eyes...

Whoa.

no, I... yup.

Look, Faith... I...

What?

I don't know.

I mean...

This is kind of...

We're...

You leave tomorrow, and...

And...

I don't know.

Well, look, okay, here we are...

Right?

I mean, we're sharing this big house together,

And-And I just don't want to make you feel...

Uncomfortable.

Charles?

Yeah?

I think you should just go ahead and kiss me.

I agree.

Hey.

Why didn't you wake me?

Honey, you did all that traveling yesterday.

I thought you'd want to sleep in.

I always help with the Christmas pancakes.

Pancakes, um...

No griddle.

I have cereal, though,

And fruit.

You love fruit.

Huh?

Morning.

Good morning.

Why didn't you wake me?

Oh, I...

Well, I wanted... I wanted to surprise you.

I'm, uh...

I'm making...

I'm attempting to make you breakfast.

Well, you better make it to go 'cause I have a bus to catch.

Did you forget?

Yeah.

I guess I did.

Okay, well, um...

So...

Right.

Your bus.

Uh...

Would you... Do you want to...

Are you sure can't stay, have a few...

No, I-I think I'd better just go.

Okay. Right, yeah.

I'll get my keys.

I will get my bag.

I can't believe you brought these.

Creature of habit.

Ooh, I have pictures of the Christmas we made these

On my phone.

I scanned all the old Christmas pictures

I gave you a disk, right?

Yeah.

Wait till you see these.

I was looking at them the other day.

Yeah, I saw them back home.

I love this picture.

And I remember when we took it, you me and dad...

Honey...

Honey, I...

I don't want to look at them right now.

Oh, mom...

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you.

No, no, no, no, no, you didn't.

I love that you look at them.

It's important that...

It's important not to forget.

These last few days

Have made me realize

That as nice as it was,

It's just never going to be the same again,

And when I look at those pictures, honey...

I just feel alone.

Maybe this whole crazy Christmas thing

Has been good for me, huh?

It's made me accept that things change,

And that I may have been holding onto my past

A little too much.

So...

It's time to take a chance.

Looks like you have your choice of seats.

Yeah, I guess it's not a very big travel day.

I guess not.

Faith?

Mm-Hmm.

Thank you.

No problem.

Just don't forget to send me a copy, okay?

Absolutely not.

Okay.

Hey, excuse me?

Open up.

Faith...

Charles, what are you doing?

You don't really want to spend Christmas

On a bus, do you?

Of course not.

They why are you getting on one?

Because I...

I thought you wanted me to.

No, I don't want you to.

Well, then, why didn't you say something?

I was waiting for you to say something.

Well, I-I didn't really think

That it was my place to say something.

May I say something?

I'd really like to get home for Christmas.

Mom.

You know what I want for Christmas,

More than anything else?

You're not angling for that pony, are you?

Because I can't get a pony...

No.

What I want...

Is for you to get dressed up.

I want you to put on those earrings Ray gave you,

I want you to look fabulous,

And then...

I want you to go his place for dinner.

No.

Why not?

Well, because it's Christmas.

Yeah, and this one Christmas,

We're going to do something different.

Heather, I am not leaving you alone for Christmas.

Okay.

Then how about this...

♪...to lie on the floor

♪ by the light of the Christmas tree ♪

♪ and do you remember...

Hey.

It just isn't Christmas without a tree.

How right you are.

And we brought Chinese food. - "We?"

Mm-Hmm.

This is Jason.

Well, hey, come on in!

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

I got the tree.

Got it?

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

merry Christmas

♪ making angels in the snow ♪

♪ sun goes down and the streetlights... ♪

♪ begin to glow

Hey!

Hi, guys!

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

We made it.

How are you feeling?

I feel good.

The baby's been kicking up a storm.

Let me look at it.

See, I told you

We wouldn't be in the house 30 seconds,

And she'd have her hand on my stomach.

- Hey... - Merry Christmas.

- Merry Christmas! - Merry Christmas.

I was decorating the tree if you can believe it.

I kind of can't believe it.

Doesn't really run in the family...

♪ do you remember...

♪ do you remember remember... ♪

♪ how it used to be?