Original subtitles

DID YOU SEE THE CONCERT?

YEAH. DIDN'T YOU GO?

NO, I MISSED IT.

HE WAS SO GOOD.

HE WAS WEARING THESE PURPLE SPANDEX PANTS.

HE LOOKED SO GOOD.

OH, MY GOD.

OH, MY GOD.

8:00?

YEAH, SURE, JOHNNY.

8:00 WILL BE FINE.

YOU'LL PICK ME UP?

YEAH, I'LL PICK YOU UP.

LIKE HELL YOU WILL, PAL.

SOMETHING I CAN DO FOR YOU, GENTLEMEN?

YEAH, JOHNNY.

YOU CAN GO BACK TO NEW JERSEY.

ACTUALLY, I KIND OF LIKE THE SCENERY HERE.

WELL, WE DON'T LIKE YOU, HOTSHOT.

DEREK, GO BACK TO CLASS.

YEAH, WHY DON'T YOU LISTEN TO YOUR SISTER?

SHE'S A VERY SMART LADY.

OH, YEAH?

GOOD COME-BACK, DEREK.

DEREK.

DEREK!

Man: CUT!

PRINT!

HEY, HEY, CUT!

I'M IMPRESSED.

HE GETS $4 MILLION FOR THAT?

THAT'S THE RUMOR.

I DON'T GET IT.

ANYBODY CAN DO THAT.

JEREMY!

BREAK IT UP!

COME ON, GUYS.

WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU, MAN?

YOU HIT LIKE A GIRL--

THAT'S WHAT'S THE MATTER.

YOU AND THE HORSE YOU RODE IN ON, PAL.

HE'S OUT OF HERE.

JEREMY, IT'S THE FIRST DAY.

DO IT.

WRAP IT UP, JERRY.

THAT'S IT.

YOU GUYS ARE MY BODYGUARDS?

YEAH, I'M TOMMY LITTLEFIELD.

THIS IS DOUG SIMON.

RENT-A-COPS.

YOU GUYS LIKE DOING THAT KIND OF WORK?

PAYS THE BILLS.

YEAH, AT LEAST YOU AIN'T REAL COPS.

I HATE COPS.

THEY'RE ALL FAT AND STUPID.

FAT AND STUPID?

YEAH, FAT AND STUPID.

WE BLOW AT 7:00.

GET ME TO THE HOTEL

WITHOUT A HUNDRED KIDS IN MY HAIR

AND I'LL BUY YOU DINNER.

CHARMING GUY.

YEAH, THIS IS GOING TO BE A LOT OF LAUGHS.

[Captioning made possible by FX NETWORKS]

♪ WE NEVER THOUGHT OF FINDING ♪

♪ THE PLACE WHERE WE BELONG ♪

♪ DON'T HAVE TO STAND ALONE ♪

♪ WE'LL NEVER LET YOU FALL ♪

♪ DON'T NEED PERMISSION ♪

♪ TO DECIDE WHAT YOU BELIEVE ♪

♪ WHOO! ♪

♪ I SAID JUMP! ♪

♪ DOWN ON JUMP STREET ♪

♪ I SAID JUMP! ♪

♪ DOWN ON JUMP STREET ♪

♪ YOUR FRIENDS WILL BE THERE ♪

♪WHEN YOUR BACK IS TO THE WALL ♪

♪ YOU'LL FIND YOU NEED US ♪

♪'CAUSE THERE'S NO ONE ELSE TO CALL ♪

♪ WHEN IT LOOKS HOPELESS ♪

♪ A DECISION'S WHAT YOU NEED ♪

♪ YOU BETTER BE READY TO ♪

♪ BE READY TO ♪

♪ JUMP! ♪

♪ 21 JUMP STREET! ♪

Penhall: WHAT A LOAD OF CRAP.

THIS IS A BOGUS ASSIGNMENT.

BABY-SITTING THIS...

CREEP.

THAT'S JUST THE WORD I WAS LOOKING FOR.

JEREMY WOODS HAS RECEIVED THREATENING LETTERS.

WHERE DO I SEND MINE?

MOVIE STARS GET CRANK MAIL ALL THE TIME.

I JUST DON'T WANT ANY PART OF HIM.

YEAH, HE'S A BIT OF A...

DINK.

THANKS, THAT'S THE WORD.

WHY DOES THE CITY WANT TO SPEND

THE PUBLIC'S HARD-EARNED CASH BABY-SITTING A HOLLYWOOD FLAKE?

THIS COMES FROM THE MAYOR'S OFFICE

THROUGH THE CHIEF.

THESE FILM COMPANIES ARE IMPORTANT.

THEY SPEND MILLIONS OF DOLLARS

ON OUR CITY'S RESTAURANTS

HOTELS, AND SERVICES.

THE MOVIE THEY'RE MAKING COSTS $15 MILLION.

I SAW IT ON THE NEWS LAST NIGHT.

THE WHOLE MOVIE BUSINESS IS BULL--

A BUNCH OF OVERPAID PEOPLE STANDING AROUND DOING NOTHING.

WOULD YOU RATHER CLEAR BUMS OFF THE STREET

FOR THE POPE'S VISIT?

WE'LL STICK WITH THE DINK.

KEEP IN MIND

JEREMY WOODS HAS A PENCHANT FOR GETTING INTO TROUBLE.

LAST YEAR HE BUSTED UP A MAITRE D'

AND GOT CHARGED WITH ASSAULT.

HE DROVE HIS FERRARI INTO THE BEVERLY HILLS HOTEL

SWIMMING POOL

TO SEE IF THE LIGHTS WORKED UNDERWATER.

DID THEY?

I DON'T KNOW.

SO, TELL ME ABOUT HIM.

HOW DOES HE LOOK UP CLOSE?

NOBODY REALLY HAS

CHEEKBONES LIKE THAT.

DID YOU EVEN MEET HIM?

HE'S COMING BY FOR LUNCH.

MORNING, CAPTAIN.

SO WHAT'S THE MOVIE ABOUT?

IT'S JUNK, JUDE.

LOOK AT IT-- STREETWISE.

THE STORY OF A TOUGH KID FROM JERSEY

WREAKING HAVOC ON A NICE SUBURBAN SCHOOL.

SOUNDS PRETTY GOOD.

HE BEATS GUYS UP AND CHICKS FALL AT HIS FEET.

SOUNDS PRETTY GOOD.

YOU DON'T LIKE MOVIES

UNLESS SOME FOOL'S BLOWING AWAY CRETINS

FROM OUTER SPACE WITH A FLAME-THROWER.

GOT YOU THERE, DOUG.

I GOT TO BELIEVE WHAT I'M SEEING.

I BELIEVE JEREMY WOODS

IS TOTALLY FINE-- HE'S HOT.

I'D LET HIM EAT CRACKERS IN MY BED.

WHY DIDN'T I GET THIS ASSIGNMENT?

THAT IS WHY.

( door buzzes )

YOU GOT AN ALL-POINTS OUT FOR ME, TEDDY?

NAH, NOT ME.

I HEARD YOU WERE OUT OF ROCKS.

NO MORE INVENTORY.

KIND OF PUTS YOU OUT OF BUSINESS.

THAT'S A SHAME.

ONLY A TEMPORARY SETBACK.

I COULD HELP YOU OUT...

IF YOU'RE WILLING TO PAY RETAIL.

SORRY, WAXER, I COULDN'T SELL THAT BUNK YOU CALL ROCK.

MY CUSTOMERS HATE RUNNING TO THE CAN ALL THE TIME.

HEY, GET THOSE COOKS OUT.

I'M SORRY, MAN.

MY NERVES ARE KIND OF BAD RIGHT NOW.

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT.

WHY DON'T YOU STICK WITH YOUR CUSTOMERS...

AND I'LL DEAL WITH THE ONES WHO CAN READ AND WRITE.

YOU GOT A REAL GOOD SENSE OF HUMOR

FOR ONE OF THE STUPIDEST GRAY BOYS I'VE EVER MET.

HAVEN'T YOU HAD ENOUGH, WAXER?

NO, BUT HE HAS.

WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?

MAYBE I CAN HELP YOU LOCATE IT.

NOT ENOUGH TO BE SCUM.

YOU'RE SCUM WITH A BIG MOUTH.

I'M NOT SCUM.

I'M A VICTIM OF MY ENVIRONMENT.

JUST ASK THE SOCIAL WORKER.

SHE TOLD ME YESTERDAY.

WHO YOU KIDDING?

YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD'S BETTER THAN WHERE I LIVE NOW.

HE'S PRETTY BAD.

GET HIM TO THE DISPENSARY.

THIS WILL COST YOU EXTRA TIME, MISTER.

I GOT 50 WITNESSES THAT WILL SWEAR HE STARTED IT.

( inmates cheer support )

I KNOW, YOU WERE JUST ENJOYING YOUR LUNCH.

IF YOU'RE LOOKING TO CHANGE NEIGHBORHOODS

PERHAPS I COULD ARRANGE SOME FINANCING.

( inmates jeering )

( fans screaming )

YOU WERE IN THE MOVIE YESTERDAY

AND WE WERE WONDERING IF YOU WOULD SIGN THIS.

SORRY.

( fans screaming )

HAVE THEM BRING THE LIMO AROUND.

WHAT A MOOK.

IF I KILLED HIM

IS THERE A JURY THAT WOULD CONVICT ME?

ONLY IF THEY WERE SITTING IN THE BOX.

Girl: EXCUSE ME.

HI.

HI.

UM, I SAW YOU TALKING TO JEREMY BEFORE

AND I WAS WONDERING

IF YOU COULD GIVE THIS TO HIM FOR ME.

I'M SORRY, MISS.

I CAN'T ACCEPT THAT ON HIS BEHALF.

PLEASE, I'VE REALLY COME A REALLY, REALLY LONG WAY.

PLEASE.

I'M SORRY.

HEY, WHERE THE HELL IS THE LIMO?

IT'S ALL CLEAR, YOUR MAJESTY.

THANKS FOR THE RIDE, JEREMY.

MY PLEASURE.

CAN I ASK A QUESTION?

WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL

ABOUT SIGNING AN AUTOGRAPH OR TWO?

THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS AN AUTOGRAPH OR TWO.

I SIGN THOSE--

IN TEN MINUTES 150 KIDS WILL BE ALL OVER ME.

COME ON, GUYS, COCKTAIL HOUR.

I COULD GO HAVE A DRINK WITH HIM

OR I COULD GO DO MY LAUNDRY.

HOW MANY QUARTERS YOU GOT?

EXACTLY.

YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANT TO HAVE SOME DINNER?

I'VE GOT A 6:00 CALL.

I SHOULD GET SOME SLEEP.

OKAY.

JEREMY, JEREMY...

( breaking glass )

DON'T DO IT.

YOU CAN'T DO THAT.

YOU THINK I GOT A RIGHT TO SMASH THIS CAMERA?

EVERYTHING OKAY HERE?

YEAH.

NEXT TIME, I'LL FEED YOU THE LENS, I PROMISE.

GOOD NIGHT, JEREMY.

TRY AND STAY OUT OF TROUBLE.

YOU OKAY?

I'M FINE. JEREMY AND I ARE OLD FRIENDS.

I HATE THIS DWEEB.

YOU MUST SPEND A FORTUNE IN SMASHED CAMERAS.

HE HAS THE RIGHT TO PHOTOGRAPH ME

AT A PUBLIC GATHERING.

SINCE I LIVE IN THIS HOTEL

HE HAS NO RIGHT TO INVADE MY PRIVACY.

IS THAT LEGAL?

HE SELLS THAT PICTURE TO SOME RAG.

NEXT THING--

IT'S A "SECRET AFFAIR" WITH MELISSA MASON.

I WOULDN'T MIND DOING THE BABE

BUT MY GIRL MIGHT OBJECT.

WOMEN...

YOU CAN'T LIVE WITH THEM.

YOU CAN'T SHOOT THEM.

FUNNY LINE.

STEVEN WRIGHT, HUH?

SO I'M A THIEF.

SEE WHAT THIS BUSINESS DOES TO YOU?

NICE.

MAKE YOURSELVES AT HOME.

THIS PLACE MUST COST $300 A NIGHT.

TRY $1,500.

OH, PLEASE, MR. WOODS, GIVE ME YOUR AUTOGRAPH.

I'LL LET YOU DO ANYTHING YOU WANT TO ME.

VERY FUNNY, JODY.

JUST TRYING TO MAKE YOU FEEL AT HOME, JEREMY.

SWITCHING TO BOYS?

THAT WILL MAKE A GOOD STORY.

JODY KLEINMAN, THIS IS LITTLEFIELD AND... SOMEBODY.

SIMON.

RIGHT.

JODY'S MY AGENT.

NICE TO MEET YOU.

PUT ON SOMETHING DECENT.

CHARITY BENEFIT AT 8:00.

PASS.

YOU CAN'T PASS, JEREMY.

IT'S A VERY GOOD CAUSE.

YOU'RE ALREADY COMMITTED

AND IT'S PART OF YOUR PROBATION.

ARE YOU MY DATE?

DON'T GET EXCITED.

WHAT WOULD YOUR GIRLFRIEND SAY?

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

WE WON'T NEED YOU ANYMORE TONIGHT.

JEREMY IS ON HIS BEST BEHAVIOR

WHEN HE'S WITH ME.

YOU GOT A LEASH?

OOH, I LIKE THIS GUY.

ARE YOU AN ACTOR?

NO, THANKS.

THAT'S TOO BAD.

YOU'RE VERY CUTE.

(gulps)

ACTING, WHAT A WAY TO MAKE A LIVING.

COULDN'T PAY ME ENOUGH TO DO THAT CRAP.

YEAH.

YOU THINK SHE'D GO OUT WITH ME?

WHO?

THAT LADY, JODY KLEINMAN

TOO MUCH CAR FOR YOU, MAN.

...SO I TOLD THE BOY TO STAY OUT OF MY FACE.

ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?

THERE WILL BE A TEST ON THIS STUFF LATER.

( door buzzes open )

YOU WANT TO SEE ME?

YEAH, I WANT TO SEE YOU.

SIT DOWN.

YOU'RE LEAVING BAINTREE, WAXER.

WE'RE SENDING YOU DOWN TO THE CENTRAL JAIL.

YOU CAN'T DO THAT.

I'M UNDER 18.

WE CAN DO WHATEVER WE LIKE.

YOU'RE TRANSFERRING ME

TO A MAXIMUM SECURITY ADULT LOCKUP

FOR GETTING INTO A FIGHT?

WE'RE TRANSFERRING YOU BECAUSE YOU'RE BEING CHARGED

WITH SECOND-DEGREE MURDER.

TEDDY BAKER DIED LAST NIGHT.

TOUGH BREAK.

FOR YOU.

SEE THAT'S SPECIAL CIRCUMSTANCES.

AND YOU'RE ALMOST 18.

THAT MEANS YOU GET A NEW HOME WITH THE BIG BOYS.

I'M WORRIED. CAN YOU TELL?

I THINK YOU ARE.

YOU'LL DO SOME HARD TIME.

YOU'RE IN FOR SOME REAL FUN.

YOU REALLY ENJOY YOUR JOB, DON'T YOU, JACKSON?

SOME DAYS ARE MORE SATISFYING THAN OTHERS.

ENJOY THE RIDE OVER, WAXER.

ONCE YOU'RE THERE

YOU'LL BE BUNKING TWO TO A CELL.

( Stiffly: ) YOU GOT SOME I.D., PUNK?

CUT.

HE'S TERRIBLE.

WHAT IS HE--

YOUR RELATIVE OR SOMETHING?

JUST RELAX.

WE'LL GET THE LINE FROM HIM.

GO SIT ON THE MOTORCYCLE.

YOU LOOK TERRIFIC.

OKAY, GENTLEMAN PLAYING THE OFFICER--

RELAX, TAKE IT EASY.

YOU'RE THE LAW.

LOOK HIM RIGHT IN THE EYE.

SAY THE LINE.

YOU HATE HIM.

OKAY, LET'S GO AGAIN.

Assistant: SETTLE AND ROLL.

49 BAKER, TAKE 12. MARKER.

AND... ACTION.

( hesitant: ) YOU GOT SOME I.D., PUNK?

CUT.

LET'S DO ONE MORE.

QUIET!

Assistant: SETTLE AND ROLL.

49 BAKER, TAKE 13. MARKER!

ALL RIGHT, CONCENTRATE.

ACTION.

YOU GOT SOME I.D., PUNK?

CUT.

COME HERE.

YEAH, YOU, SIMON!

COME HERE!

DO THIS LINE.

GO AHEAD, DO IT.

DO WHAT?

DO THIS LINE!

HE'S PERFECT-- LOOKS LIKE A COP.

LOOKS LIKE A COP.

I'M NOT AN ACTOR.

NEITHER IS HE.

DON'T TRY AND ACT; JUST SAY THE LINE.

DON'T EVEN TRY AND ACT.

YOU GOT SOME I.D., PUNK?

SAY IT AGAIN WITH ATTITUDE.

SAY IT TO ME--

LIKE YOU REALLY HATE ME.

YOU GOT SOME I.D., PUNK?

HE'S GREAT.

I'M IN HEAVEN.

NO, I TOLD YOU, I'M NOT AN ACTOR.

HEY, YOU GET $380.

YOU GOT SOME I.D., PUNK?

HEY.

Director: CUT! PRINT!

DON'T KILL THE STAR.

OKAY, FOLKS, WE'RE IN THE WRONG PLACE.

LET'S GET MOVING...

Penhall: SO THEN EVERYONE IS WATHCING, CAMERA'S ROLLING

I'M STANDING ACROSS FROM HIM--

I GIVE HIM THE LINE.

WHAT WAS IT?

"GOT SOME I.D., PUNK?"

SAID THE LINE LIKE THAT?

NOT LIKE THAT.

I WAS ACTING-- I SAID IT LIKE I MEANT IT.

I WAS PRETTY GOOD, TOO.

I GOT SOME APPLAUSE.

BECAUSE THEY WANTED TO GO HOME.

THE MAKEUP LADY SAID I WAS A NATURAL.

I THINK I KNOW WHY.

I GOT THIS THEORY-- WANT TO HEAR IT?

NO.

SEE...

I THINK WE'RE ALL ACTORS-- I MEAN ALL OF US.

NO, LISTEN.

WE GO UNDERCOVER ALL THE TIME.

WHAT'S THAT?

THAT'S PLAYING A CHARACTER.

WHAT'S THAT?

THAT'S ACTING.

SOMETIMES WE'RE THE McQUAIDS;

SOMETIMES WE'RE PREPPIES.

SOMETIMES WE'RE EGO MANIACS.

Hoffs: NOT EXACTLY THE SAME

AS BEING IN THE MOVIES.

BEING IN THE MOVIES IS EASIER.

SOMETIMES WE'VE GOT GUNS IN OUR FACES.

ALL THEY'VE GOT IS CAMERAS IN THEIRS.

WHAT ABOUT THE MOVIE BUSINESS BEING BULL?

"JUST A LOT OF OVERPAID PEOPLE STANDING AROUND ALL DAY."

THAT'S BEHIND THE CAMERA.

IT'S DIFFERENT WHEN YOU'RE AN ACTOR.

SO NOW YOU'RE AN ACTOR-- A THESPIAN.

YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T ASK YOU.

YOU'RE RIGHT.

MY BIG SHOT--

MAYBE I COULD HAVE LET THEM GOOBER OVER ME.

ALL I SAID WAS I WAS PRETTY GOOD.

SO WHAT'S HE LIKE?

HE'S KIND OF GRUFF, BUT HE'S A STAR

SO PEOPLE BOTHER HIM ALL THE TIME.

HMM.

HERE YOU GO.

ALL RIGHT, SAL-- THANKS A LOT!

DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

THIS IS A PICTURE OF JEREMY WOODS

WITH HIS SHIRT OFF?

THAT'S JEREMY WOODS IN HIS FIRST MOVIE--

BLOOD ON THE BEACH.

IT IS!

I DIDN'T KNOW HE WAS IN BLOOD ON THE BEACH.

NOT A LOT OF PEOPLE DO.

HE WAS, WHAT, 16 YEARS OLD?

JUST STARTING OUT.

I'M AN EXPERT IN THAT GENRE.

WAS HE GOOD?

GREAT-- CHOPPED UP BY A PSYCHOTIC LIFEGUARD.

I REMEMBER THAT.

THAT WAS HIM?

VICTIM NUMBER FOUR.

Penhall: YOU DIDN'T EVEN KNOW

IT WAS JEREMY WOODS.

HE WAS UNDERCOVER.

HE WAS ACTING.

I REST MY CASE.

HEY! I'M WALKING HERE.

Tyrell: WHY DON'T YOU SAVE IT, MONTGOMERY?

THIS IS MY LAST CHANCE

TO TELL YOU HOW I FEEL ABOUT YOU.

SEE, I THINK YOU'RE A WASTE.

WHO CARES WHAT YOU THINK?

YOU TRIED TO KILL SOME KID WITH A SPEED BALL

SLUG IT OUT WITH AN UNDERCOVER COP

THEN YOU GET SENT TO BAINTREE.

WHAT ARE YOU, MY BIOGRAPHER?

YOU WIND UP KILLING SOME POOR SLOB

OVER SOME FICTITIOUS TERRITORY.

I'VE HEARD THIS BEFORE.

WHY DON'T YOU LISTEN?

KISS MY...

HEY, KEEP IT DOWN

BACK THERE!

( honking horns )

( woman gasps )

JUST BE COOL, LADY.

YEAH, YOU-- WHAT YOU DID SUCKS!

YOU LISTENING?

GIVE ME A BREAK.

I'LL GIVE YOU A BREAK!

WHAT THE HELL IS THE MATTER?

EXCUSE ME.

I MUST ASK YOU NOT TO USE THAT FOOTAGE.

SORRY, I CAN'T DO THAT.

LOOK, JEREMY JUST GOT HOT-HEADED.

IT HAPPENED

WE SAW IT, AND WE HAD PERMISSION TO BE HERE.

I WANT THAT TAPE.

MAYBE WE CAN MAKE A DEAL HERE.

ABSOLUTELY NOT.

News anchorman: Police are seeking an escapee

from Baintree Juvenile Prison.

Tyrell Thompson, accused in the murder of a fellow inmate

was being transported to Central Jail

when he apparently overpowered two officers

and made his escape.

One officer, Vincent Montgomery, died this afternoon...

THEY'LL BE ALL OVER LOOKING FOR YOU.

We'll be back with entertainment reporter Laurel Peterson

who spent a interesting day on a movie set.

HE DIES IN AN ACCIDENT AND THEY'RE BLAMING ME.

THAT GRAY BOY PICKS A FIGHT WITH ME.

I'M PROTECTING MY TERRITORY.

I HIT HIM AND HE CROAKS.

THEY CHARGE ME WITH MURDER.

IDIOT DRIVER RUNS HIS BUS INTO A DITCH

HE'S HISTORY, AND WHO'S TO BLAME?

TYRELL THOMPSON.

THEY'RE GOING TO CHARGE ME AGAIN.

Peterson: Hollywood bad boy Jeremy Woods was at it again today

on the set of Streetwise...

I'M SCREWED.

...his new movie filming in town.

Nightside Entertainment crew was on hand

as the actor and director went at it

in what can only be described

as an old-fashioned Hollywood donnybrook.

Bodyguards had to restrain the two

as filming was suspended for the rest of the day.

BODYGUARDS?

THAT'S THAT COP, HANSON!

Hoffs: BOY, HARRY, THESE MESSAGES FOR HANSON

ARE REALLY STACKING UP.

ANYTHING IMPORTANT?

LET'S SEE, LET'S SEE HERE...

THE CLEANERS CALLED.

MM-HMM.

HE'S GOT SOMETHING THERE FOR OVER A MONTH.

HIS MOTHER CALLED.

AND HERE'S A MESSAGE FROM PAYROLL.

PAYROLL?

NOW THAT SOUNDS LIKE IT COULD BE IMPORTANT.

I THINK WE SHOULD GET THIS TO HANSON RIGHT AWAY.

RIGHT AWAY.

YOU WANT TO DRIVE?

SURE.

YOU KNOW WHERE THEY'RE SHOOTING?

I GOT IT OFF HANSON'S REPORT.

WHO LET YOU...

COME ON, MISS, OUT OF THE TRAILER.

JOHNNY...

WE NEED TO TALK.

JOHNNY?

WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

IT'S ME, ANNIE.

WHY HAVEN'T YOU WRITTEN ME BACK?

UM...

I'VE BEEN REAL BUSY WITH FILMING AND ALL.

WHAT DO YOU WANT, ANNIE?

YOU KNOW ALL YOUR MOVIES?

I KNOW THEY'RE ABOUT ME.

ABOUT WHEN WE WERE IN HIGH SCHOOL AND STUFF.

I JUST CAME ALL THIS WAY TO SAY THANK YOU.

I APPRECIATE THAT.

WHY DON'T WE GO FOR A RIDE?

NO, LET'S STAY IN TONIGHT.

WE COULD GO TO THAT PLACE WE ALWAYS GO.

REMEMBER?

THE CABIN BY THE DUCK POND?

FROM SUMMER DREAMS.

WE CAN TAKE A LIMO.

YES, JASON.

BYE.

TO THE HOSPITAL.

GET AN A.D. TO GO WITH YOU.

PARANOID DELUSIONS.

SHE THINKS WE'RE STEALING HER LIFE

AND MAKING IT INTO MOVIES.

SHE'S BEEN WRITING ME LETTERS FOR MONTHS.

HOW DID SHE GET IN THERE?

THAT'S YOUR JOB TO KNOW, PAL.

WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU GUYS ANYWAY?

I GOT PEOPLE WANDERING IN AND OUT OF MY TRAILER--

WHAT AM I PAYING YOU FOR?

WHAT THE...

SORRY, PAL.

THIS IS ONE EMPLOYEE YOU CAN'T PUSH AROUND.

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?

I'M TRYING TO KEEP THE GARBAGE OFF THE SET.

WE'RE POLICE OFFICERS

ASSIGNED TO KEEP YOU OUT OF TROUBLE.

YOU GUYS ARE COPS PRETENDING TO BE BODYGUARDS?

Penhall: MAYOR'S ORDERS.

THEY WANTED TO MAKE SURE YOU DIDN'T BREAK ANYTHING.

YOU GUYS ARE PRETTY GOOD ACTORS.

LOOK, WHAT I SAID ABOUT COPS--

I'M SORRY.

NO, YOU'RE NOT.

EXCUSE ME?

YOU'RE NOT SORRY.

YOU WALK ON PEOPLE

THEN YOU THINK APOLOGIZING

MAKES IT OKAY.

CAN WE TAKE THE CUFFS OFF AND TALK?

YOU DON'T OWE US AN EXPLANATION.

HALF THE STUFF THEY SAY ABOUT ME I DIDN'T EVEN DO.

THE OTHER HALF I WISH I HADN'T DONE.

VERY CLEVER.

I WORK HARD, I CATCH A BREAK AND I WIND UP A STAR-- LUCK.

WHAT DO THEY SAY?

"DON'T WISH TOO HARD FOR WHAT YOU WANT--

YOU MAY GET IT"?

YOU GUYS WANT SOMETHING TO DRINK?

SODA.

ME TOO, PLEASE.

THERE'S SOMETHING YOU DON'T REALIZE

WHEN YOU DREAM ABOUT BEING NOTICED.

THAT ONCE YOU ARE, YOU'RE NEVER ALONE AGAIN.

I DON'T KNOW WHY I'M TELLING YOU ALL THIS.

BUT WHAT THE HECK--

WHY NOT TELL YOU WHY I'M SUCH A CREEP.

WE'RE LISTENING.

THEY WERE GOING THROUGH MY FAN MAIL

A MONTH AGO.

THERE WAS TONS OF IT PILING UP FOR MONTHS.

TURNS OUT THERE WERE TWO LETTERS FROM KIDS

GETTING READY TO DIE.

LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING.

YOU KNOW WHEN YOU DROVE THAT FERRARI INTO THE POOL?

THE LIGHTS WORK?

IT'S THE MOVIES, MAN-- THE LIGHTS ALWAYS WORK.

( knocking )

WHAT? WHAT?

WHAT?

WE'RE LOOKING FOR TOMMY LITTLEFIELD.

WHO?

I DON'T KNOW WHO LET YOU IN HERE

BUT WHY DON'T YOU JUST TURN AROUND...

THEY'RE OKAY.

WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING HERE?

WE THOUGHT YOU MIGHT NEED THESE MESSAGES.

FRIENDS OF YOURS?

H.T. IOKI, JUDY HOFFS...

JEREMY WOODS.

HI.

IT'S A PLEASURE TO MEET YOU.

I LOVE YOUR MOVIES.

THANKS.

I'M SORRY I YELLED.

YOU WANT TO STAY

AND WATCH THE SHOOTING?

WE'D LOVE TO.

THAT WOULD BE COOL.

I'LL CATCH A NAP.

SEE YOU ON THE SET.

OKAY.

HE'S SO NICE.

I JUST WALK THROUGH, THAT'S ALL?

YEAH, JUST WALK DOWN THIS WAY

LIKE YOU'RE GOING TO YOUR LOCKER.

THIS IS SO EXCITING!

YEAH, THRILL A MINUTE.

ALL RIGHT, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN...

( yelling out stage directions)

QUIET!

ALL RIGHT...

AND ROLL!

42 APPLE, TAKE 1. MARKER!

BACKGROUND ACTION!

ACTION!

Director: CUT!

PRINT! MOVING ON!

I NEED JEREMY...

YOU WERE GREAT!

WE BETTER CALL FULLER.

I THINK I JUST SAW SOMEBODY WE KNOW.

FORGET IT, MAN.

THERE'S TOO MANY PEOPLE AROUND.

I WON'T DO HIM HERE.

I DON'T WANT ANY PART OF THIS.

THEN GET ON THEN.

( knocking )

COME IN!

THEY'RE LOOKING FOR YOU.

LET THEM WAIT.

OFFICER HANSON...

REMEMBER ME?

TYRELL THOMPSON.

VERY GOOD.

UH-UH.

Jeremy: ALL RIGHT, HANSON--

THAT WAS VERY FUNNY.

I GOT TO GET BACK TO MY SCRIPT.

EXCUSE ME, BUT DID I SAY YOU COULD SPEAK?

THIS ISN'T A JOKE, MR. MOVIE STAR.

THIS IS FOR REAL.

COME ON, HANSON.

YOU'RE COMING WITH ME.

YOU, TOO, PRETTY BOY.

LEAVE HIM OUT OF THIS.

THAT SOUNDS LIKE A LINE IN A MOVIE.

I'LL GO WHEREVER YOU WANT--

JUST LEAVE HIM ALONE.

Thompson: COME ON, HANSON--

I NEVER MET A REAL MOVIE STAR BEFORE.

42 apple, take one. Marker.

Background...

and action!

THE GUY WALKED RIGHT BY ME.

THAT'S HIM RIGHT THERE.

Penhall: FREEZE THAT.

THAT'S WAXER THOMPSON, ALL RIGHT.

WHO IS THIS GUY?

HE'S THE MAN WHO'S GOT YOUR STAR.

Penhall: HE WAS HANSON'S FIRST CASE.

PUT THE GUY AWAY.

YOU GUYS DID A HELL OF A JOB PROTECTING MY CLIENT.

HE'S GOT SOMEBODY

WE LIKE TOO, LADY.

WHAT'S HE DOING OUT?

HE KILLED A GUARD.

ALL RIGHT--

I WANT CURRENT ADDRESSES ON EVERYONE HE KNOWS.

I ALREADY KNOW WHO HE KNOWS.

HEY, RAY.

HOW YOU DOING?

I DIDN'T DO NOTHING!

WHERE IS WAXER?

I DON'T KNOW WHO YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

I WAS HOPING YOU'D SAY THAT.

DOES THAT JOG YOUR MEMORY?

I DON'T KNOW WHERE HE IS.

IF MY PARTNER DIES

I SWEAR I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN

AND I WILL CUT SOMETHING OFF.

( train whistle )

WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?

WHAT DID YOU DO IN YOUR LAST MOVIE?

IT LOOKED PRETTY SIMPLE WHEN I SAW IT.

( toilet flushing )

NOW, WHERE WERE WE?

OH YEAH, FAST LANE, THAT WAS IT.

THAT WAS THE ONE I SAW.

YOU BEATING UP ALL THOSE BAD GUYS

UP THERE ON THE SCREEN.

MUST HAVE BEEN... WHAT, TEN OF THEM?

YOU MIGHT BE THE TOUGHEST GUY I EVER MET.

WHAT DO YOU THINK, HANSON?

I THINK YOU'RE PROBABLY

THE TOUGHEST GUY HE EVER MET, TYRELL.

( chuckling )

THAT'S A GOOD ANSWER.

YEAH, BIG TOUGH GUY ON THE SCREEN.

BIG TOUGH UNDERCOVER MAN.

WHAT DO YOU WANT?

I WANT A LITTLE REVENGE.

IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU WANT TO GO AWAY AGAIN.

YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE THIS.

THIS IS WHERE THE COP TELLS ME

NOT TO THROW MY LIFE AWAY

THAT I CAN BE REHABILITATED--

LEARN A TRADE.

ISN'T THAT RIGHT, OFFICER HANSON?

YOU'RE STILL A JUVENILE.

NOT ACCORDING TO THE COURT.

THEY GOT ME FOR TWO SPECIAL CIRCUMSTANCES.

BOTH GUYS ARE DEAD.

THAT MEANS I GOT NOTHING TO LOSE.

( television playing faintly)

YEAH, I GUESS I BLEW IT SOMEWHERE.

MAYBE I CAN START OVER.

MAYBE I CAN BECOME A MOVIE STAR.

YOU'LL GIVE ME A PART, WON'T YOU?

WON'T YOU?

YEAH.

A BIG PART?

MAYBE A LEADING PART?

COULD I GET A LEADING PART?

SURE.

I WANT TO PLAY A GOOD GUY, THOUGH--

YOU KNOW, AND GET THE GIRL AND ALL.

I DON'T THINK I'M RIGHT FOR A BAD GUY.

WHAT DO YOU THINK, JER?

I THINK YOU SHOULD LET ME GO.

WHOA, NOW THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT LINE FOR A HERO.

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO SAY--

"I THINK YOU SHOULD LET USGO."

GO AHEAD.

TRY IT.

LET ME HEAR HOW THAT SOUNDS.

COME ON!

I THINK YOU SHOULD LET US GO.

OKAY. IT'S TIME TO GO.

WHO WANTS TO GO FIRST?

DO YOU WANT TO GO?

OR WATCH HIM GO?

WHY NOT BACK OFF HIM?

WHY?

HE'S GOING TO DIE ANYWAY.

( Tyrell laughs )

JUST KNOW HE GOT YOU INTO THIS.

YEAH, AND HE GOT ME INTO THIS...

AND THEN GOT YOU INTO THIS.

LOOKS LIKE THE MOVIE STAR'S GOING TO LEAVE THIS WORLD

THE WAY HE CAME INTO IT--

CRYING.

WE DID IT!

WHAT PART DID JEREMY PLAY?

HE WAS THERE ALL THE WAY.

I DON'T THINK I'D HAVE DONE IT WITHOUT HIM.

IS THIS LIFE IMITATING ART?

YEAH, SURE.

JEREMY WAS INSTRUMENTAL IN SUBDUING THE SUSPECT.

WHAT THE HECK.

IT WAS NO BIG DEAL.

ACTUALLY, I THINK IT WAS ALL OFFICER HANSON'S DOING.

I'M JUST AN ACTOR; HE DESERVES ALL THE CREDIT.

WE TOLD YOU, NO PICTURES OF THE UNDERCOVER OFFICER.

I GOT TO GO.

THANKS, MAN.

WILL YOU MAKE A PICTURE FROM THIS?

I REALLY DON'T KNOW.

IT'S BEEN A TRAUMATIC THING.

I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND TAKE IT EASY.

IT'S NOT EVERY DAY I ALMOST GET KILLED.

GOT A PICTURE WITH YOUR SHIRT OFF, HANSON?

VERY FUNNY.

THAT'S NOT HOW IT WENT DOWN.

SO WHAT?

WHY DID YOU MAKE HIM SUCH A HERO?

HE PROMISED ME A PART IN HIS NEXT MOVIE.

EXCUSE ME.

I'D JUST LIKE TO THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR HELP.

WE'RE JUST DOING OUR JOBS, MA'AM.

THANK YOU, SERGEANT FRIDAY.

WELL, YOU DO IT VERY WELL.

IF YOU'RE EVER IN L.A...

I'D LIKE TO THANK YOU PERSONALLY.

EXCUSE ME, GUYS.

I HAVE TO GO PHONE THE AIRLINES.