Original subtitles

You know, they say the great thing about being a kid is it's so easy to pretend.

You can have a conversation with your dog or a baseball or a banana.

Well, what if it wasn't pretend?

What if you could have a conversation?

I mean, not with a baseball or a banana, that's ridiculous, but with your dog.

I mean, you don't have the same concept of time that, for instance, people do

because you have watches and clocks.

But we do know that you'll go away. And it's not like we don't know that you're

gone.

So we don't know exactly how long. No.

Why do dogs sniff each other's butts?

Well, that's just kind of our way of shaking hands.

If you really want to get a sense of who somebody is, you've got to sniff their

butt. Son, stop talking to the dog.

She doesn't understand a word that you're saying.

At first, his dad thought, hey, it's just harmless kid stuff. But as time

on, John crossed that fine line between harmless and, you know, just weird.

Mr. Galvin.

Mr. Doolittle. This is my son, John.

John, this is your new principal, Mr.

Galvin. Nice to meet you, John.

Oh, boy, that's not good.

Nice to meet you.

John!

It was time.

To put an end to it.

Thank you for coming, Reverend.

Leave this boy, devil man.

Go now, Satan, take the serpent's voices with you.

I command you to come out of this boy.

Come on out of this boy.

God said it.

I'm going to bite you.

He was my best friend.

You'll make some real friends now.

From that day on, John Doolittle never spoke to animals again.

Someday, you're going to thank me for this.

And after a while, all he could remember was that deep down inside, there was

something missing.

And just like his dad wanted, he grew up to be a normal, regular guy.

You know, miserable.

Hey, hey, get out of here.

Hey! Ha!

Ha!

Ha!

Ha! Ha!

This is animals in the hallway.

And did I mention he was a father?

A lot like his own father, who was a father to him before...

He himself became a... Oh, look, she's got a giant egg.

Good morning, Sharice. My name isn't Sharice. I've changed my name to

Paprika? Paprika Doolittle. It might have a nice ring to it.

Not Doolittle, just Paprika. Well, I don't understand that. What is that

What's Paprika about?

You know, salt and pepper, Paprika.

Oh, okay, Paprika. I get it.

I think paprika's a beautiful name.

Really? Well, I think paprika sounds like a season.

Doolittle. He doesn't take anything you want seriously.

Tell me about it. Yes, Mark.

Yes, I did go over the proposal. I think it's unbelievable.

Okay, I'm on my way in now.

Maya, where are you going with that?

It's for my spawn egg I found in the park.

Really? It looks like it'd be a good omelet.

Dad, it's going to hatch any day now.

Well, you're going to miss that because you're going to be at camp.

But, Dad, I can't go to camp.

Because when a baby bird hatches, the first thing it sees, it bonds with it.

I want it to be me.

You know, Maya, it is not normal or healthy for you to spend all your time

your little experiments.

You know what would be a good experiment for you? For you to spend some time

with some kids your own age at camp, which is exactly where you're going this

Sunday, being dropped off at camp.

You mean dumping me off? Then what about my pet egg?

Here. Here's half a dozen pet eggs to take with you to camp.

Stop it. I don't know what all the fuss is about. We wouldn't have bought you

that thing anyway. You got a pet. What was that pet rat thing that we bought?

A guinea pig. Yeah, we got you the guinea rat and the thing died. It's not

fault that it died.

It didn't die. His name is Rodney and he's in my room.

The thing's still alive. So why are you bothering me about this swan?

I'm going to work. I'm out of here. Goodbye.

Bye -bye. Everybody, have a nice day, everybody.

Nice day.

Johnny! John, Gene has got some qualms about the new proposal. I'd like you

much to talk to him about it. No room for qualms, Gene. No room for qualms. No

qualms. No qualms are bad.

Qualms are bad. Listen to John. Qualms are bad.

Qualms I'd like to discuss. You know what it is?

I'm just afraid that if we let a big company like CalNet take us over, you

we're not going to be us anymore. You know?

We'd be them.

Let me explain something to you, Gene.

Zim has the best hospitals, and Zim has the best laboratories, and Zim is going

to pay us a very big, giant amount of money. You know what I'm saying? I swear

to God that when I think about the money, I get teary.

Huge. Look at me.

See, those are real tears in his eyes.

So Saturday morning, we're sitting down with the CalNet people. I'll see you all

there. I'm very, very excited about this. Hey, wait, whoa, whoa, whoa.

morning? I'm supposed to take my family to the country this weekend.

Well, don't.

You see?

You see, it's happening already. What?

John, you're being forced to neglect your family.

Jean, relax.

No such thing.

This is, uh... Mrs. O 'Brien?

Yes. How are you? Not so... Is your tummy still... Uh -huh. Oh.

Okay. Saturday morning, guys. Jean, no tank tops, please.

No tank tops.

Mrs. Parkes?

Yes, Doctor.

Mrs. Parkes.

Have you eaten shellfish again? Just soft -shell crab. And what's the middle

word? Shell. Shell. Exactly.

He's locked. He's not in his cage.

Well, you'll got to get going. I'll find your hamster for you. He's a guinea

pig. Whatever. It's a rodent. I'll find the rodent.

Hey, Nutmeg, let's go.

You better wipe that look off your face.

That's a little better.

Your daughter's turning into a little wise -ass.

She's turning into a little you.

You know, there's more to this HMO deal, honey.

You sell, they own you. This is going to be good for us. Watch.

I'm so tired of that route.

It's always for us, John.

Sometimes I don't know who us is.

You don't know who us is. Us is us. Me and you and my insurance, Lisa.

Lisa, the more money you have, the more time you get to spend with your family.

That's the way it boils down.

That's true.

And in the meantime, you're just going to have to make do and be happy with

beautiful, fancy sports car you always wanted. Right here. It's beautiful.

No, John.

You didn't. No, I didn't. The van's around the corner. But I saw how

you got, so don't tell me you don't care about money.

Oh, John, you didn't. You didn't. That's not funny. Oh, John.

Daddy, you have to find Rodney. I'll find Rodney for you. I'll put down some

that sticky paper. No, don't put down the sticky paper. No, Mary, the sticky

paper's fine. You peel them right off it and you'll live.

I won't do it. I will turn the house upside down and I will find Rodney for

Yes? Okay? Just bring him with you and call me if my eggs start to hatch. I

call you if the eggs start to hatch.

And you stay in there!

Do a little.

Miss Parkes, do you have a death wish?

But I took it out of the shell.

Can I talk to you for a minute?

Sure.

Tell what this was without me. Oh, I know what it was.

She was frightened. She wanted her doctor.

It's a beautiful thing.

That's a beautiful thing? That's a beautiful thing. How old are you?

26. You spent all your time down here, right?

Probably grabbed your naps curled up in the break room with that little cot back

there. Little occasional nookie with one of the interns in the closet or

something. I have a real life, okay? And I'd appreciate it if you'd only call me

down here when it was a real emergency.

If one of my patients comes in here carrying his own head, call me.

Somebody comes in with a bicycle halfway up their ass, call me. You understand?

Yeah, I understand.

So you want me to give her the injection?

I would not be a smartass right now if I was you.

Make a little smart statement for me at 2 o 'clock in the morning after I came

in.

Hey, I wasn't, I... I wasn't always... Is there

something

wrong, Doctor?

There we go.

Okay. Thank you. You're welcome.

and watch where you're going next time, you bonehead.

Let me start by saying thank you very much for giving up part of your weekend.

We just want to make sure we can answer any and all of your questions. We want

you all to be comfortable with what we're proposing.

And speaking of which, explain the details of the buyout.

Now, the financial information you're probably most interested in is on page

four. Oh, $4 million.

That's pretty comfortable.

I'm comfortable.

Very. You comfortable, Gino?

Actually, I have some questions.

No, you don't. Yes, I do.

I was wondering, are we going to have to cut back on our stand?

Yes, unfortunately. We're going to have to make some staff cuts.

Bread?

No, thank you.

No, thank you.

Yeah, you offered me some bread, and I don't want any. Thanks.

So you have no problem with minor staff cuts?

Hey, you're going to share that bread or what?

You just said you didn't want it. I did not. What is it? I'm not joking.

You're tripping.

Absolutely not.

Bagel chips. Back off or you'll find your nuts in a tree. Oh, ow.

Where's the love? Ow. Where's the love? So, John, do you have a problem with

that or not, John?

Watch your head. I'm flying here.

Okay, that's about enough meeting for me. I've got to get going. This was a

great meeting and very productive. Wonderful meeting. I'm looking forward

seeing you guys on Monday. I'll talk to you later. Excuse me.

Johnny's been on call all night, Mr. Calloway. He's very excited.

You gotta move it.

I said let's go. You can't park here. Let's move it. Oh, jeez.

Thanks. Okay, I'm moving it.

Thank you.

Ridiculous.

That's the thing about the city. You don't realize... Well...

I see those guys in my dorm told me that stuff wouldn't affect me. Now, 15 years

later, this shit's not happening to me.

Okay, let's chill. Let's just chill.

I'm not going to chill. You're going to chill.

What are you doing? Switching sides?

Come on.

Hey, I can't drive.

Out.

Let's go.

Need some help?

No, we're fine. I'm just stretching my legs a little here.

Ask her if she's got any lettuce. Shut your mouth. Shut your little furry mouth

right now.

You sure you're okay?

Oh, yeah, I'm fine.

That's good. Thank you. Thank you so much.

Goodbye. Now what?

Hey, hey. You're a monster! Hey, what are you doing?

He's blowing in the wind. You know it is. The guinea pig is blowing in the

Come on, let me in the car.

Hey, why'd he call me guinea pig anyway?

I'm not Italian, and I'm not poor.

Grandpa, did Daddy learn how to be bossy from you?

Maya, don't talk to your grandfather that way.

He certainly didn't learn it from his mother, God rest her soul.

Baby, one day you'll understand. and sometimes your parents do know what

doing.

We got a cat in the middle.

Hey,

baby!

Daddy, what's Ronnie doing on the roof?

Thought the fresh air would do him some good.

Hey, baby.

Are you all right? Hey,

Daddy. Lemon cake?

Hey, Daddy, we still got those BB guns I used to play with when I was little?

Crazy, man!

BB guns?

I think you need a vacation.

Oh, yeah, and I'm going to have one, too. This is beautiful.

Excuse me, honey.

Hey, what's that there, Paul?

I think we should get rid of my little rat thing.

He's a guinea pig. I don't know why you let him get to you.

Didn't get to me at all. Not the least bit.

Good.

I'll be right back.

Is it all right if I wait in the bed naked?

Yeah.

Time to come out of these drawers, then.

Hello?

Yoo -hoo.

Out here.

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, there you are.

You're the one who can hear us, aren't you?

I'm not hearing anything. I can't hear you. The whole woods are talking about

you, you know?

Listen, can you do me a favor? Can you just take this stick out of my wing?

killing me. Can you, huh?

Don't worry. I won't hurt you.

Ah,

much better.

Good job.

Thank you.

What's happening to me?

You're going to be pleasantly surprised.

Oh, my goodness, it's an owl.

Yeah, it's a big, nasty owl. Let's go in the house. Beautiful.

They're very dangerous creatures. Oh, no, they're not.

They can poke your eye out. Oh, come on. They can poke your eye out very easily.

Take your finger off all of that.

Go get in the bed. I'm going to go check on Sharice and Maya and make sure

everything is all right. I want to lock the door.

Are you okay?

I'm fine, you know. Are you sure?

Go get to bed, please.

Okay. Five minutes.

Hey, crazy man. I know you're having fun in there.

Do a little thing.

Make a little love.

Get down tonight.

Hey, can I make a request?

Can I get tuna and oil instead of water?

Hey, buddy, my old lady ass, I've been eating trash all night, you dig?

Yeah, you're on my tail, you idiot.

Got to lose that bug light. Hey, I know you can hear me. Hey, Doc, while you're

out, get some salmon. You can't go wrong with salmon. Hey, buddy, all night. You

broke Mr.

Stingy, I think. Keep away from me.

John, what are you doing? I have to go back to the city, honey. What? Wait,

wait, John, why?

John, you just got here. I know, but I need a doctor. I mean, I am a doctor,

I got beef, so I got to go back to the city. Because when you get beef, you got

to go. I'm very sorry, honey.

Talk to you later.

What if you want to get together for a drink or a cat scan or something?

A cat scan?

Can it wait until morning?

I love you.

No, I'll have to come right now.

It already smells like ten more years. Why don't you just bring it on, cheese

eater? Come on, bring it on. I'll tear you to pieces.

I'll claw you. Oh, man, you are tempting fate now, buddy. No, right here, fat

boy. Come on, put it right here. I'll mortalize you. I'll suck a punch. Stick

your moose. Stick your moose, you little rat. Hey, come here, you gerbil.

Hey,

what are you looking at?

Me? Yeah, you.

Who else, buddy?

I'm just looking at a couple of greasy rats fighting over some garbage.

Greasy? Come here and say that, you four -eyed, bubble -headed, doofus, biped.

I'll get bubonic on your ass. Come here. Come as you are.

Oh, really? What if I take that light bulb there and put it between your

rat butt cheeks and make a little rodent lamp out of you? How about that, huh?

How about that? Let me tell you something. I'm a human.

I'm a human.

Hey, I'm sorry. Sam, how are you? How are you? Thanks for coming down, Sam.

Thanks for coming down.

There's no abnormalities of any kind.

All right, then.

Why are you hearing animal voices?

Exactly. Why do I think I'm hearing animal voices if everything is fine?

tell you, Sam.

I don't want to wind up like one of these guys on the street talking to

with the dirt under my fingernails and stinking with my hair all matted. It's

not a cool look.

Have you been under any unusual stress lately?

Not really.

I got the CalNet thing, and my wife's been giving me a hard time about that,

that can't be it.

Ah, that's small potatoes.

You know, I did hit a dog the other day.

Oh, my God.

A dog.

Hey, Sam, make me feel worse, huh? Well, I'm sorry, but a little doggy? The dog

was fine. It got up and ran off.

He was injured?

He felt well enough to scream out bonehead before he left.

John, the dog couldn't have spoken to you.

No, Sam, all due respect. No, John, the dog did not speak to you.

Maybe you're right.

I'm sorry I won't get from this.

Thanks, Sam.

Hi, honey. Where are you? You all right? Yeah, honey. I'm okay. Are you sure? I

was worried.

No, really.

I just freaked out a little bit.

What's wrong?

I got a lot of stress I've been under.

From what?

You know, the merger and the practice. It all just kind of comes to a head, and

I'm sorry.

Okay, John. Just come back out here, okay?

Yeah, I'm on my way out now.

Bonehead!

Yeah, I'll see you in a few.

John?

John?

Right this way.

Hey, mister.

You reckon I won't bite nobody again, huh?

I am Kaiser Soze.

Wait, wait, I have owners.

They've just been out of town for a few, few years.

Dead dogs walking.

Oh, that does not sound good.

Keep your tail up, pal.

Hey,

hey, hey, hey, thanks a lot. Whoa, that was close, huh?

Hey, hey, you got kids. I love kids. Kids, they're the greatest.

Kids are great. Tell me what the hell is going on.

Hey, you understood me. You don't say.

I think I'm going crazy. How come I can understand you talking? I don't know.

Maybe you're just weird.

Hey, shut up. You're a dog.

Dogs can't talk. What the hell do you think barking is, an involuntary spasm?

I don't know what barking is. I know you're not barking, and I'm going to be

with my family. Excuse me. Good luck to you.

That's it?

Oh, it must be that truck exhaust or something. Oh,

no, everything's going black.

Oh, it's not good.

Is that the biggest dance you've ever seen?

Lie down, Chauncey.

Lie down!

Lie down, Chauncey!

He's deaf.

I'm not deaf.

I just can't stand listening to her.

Don't fix me, okay? Please, don't fix me.

I won't look at another female ever, I swear.

Anything but my manhood, man.

Not my manhood!

Yo, baby, what's up? You looking pretty sweet there, sugar.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

Please, I beg you.

Do a little.

Come on.

So, what seems to be the problem?

Well, I tell you, Doctor, I really think it's pulmonary distress.

He might have some fluid on his lungs, too. Oh, let me guess. You're an M .D.?

Yes, I am. I can always tell when a real doctor brings in an animal. They always

like to do a little amateur diagnosis. Did you tell him to get away from my

butt? If you don't mind, I did go to veterinary school for five years. Is it

just me, or is he hovering around my butt a lot? And unlike an M .D., my

cannot tell me where it hurts. Listen, seriously, could you tell him my butt is

gray? So.

Doctor, if you don't mind.

Hey, where do you think he's going to put that?

Look, look, I was faking it, okay? I feel fine.

Just don't let him stick that thing up my... Hello!

Let's just have a listen to those lungs, shall we? I'm going to swallow the

thermometer, and I don't mean in my mouth.

Dr. Fish, maybe I should pull that out a little bit.

Don't you touch that. It's heading in. It's going south for the winter.

Now, you see, I have to interpret what the dog... He's moaning about.

What's to interpret?

There's a thermometer.

It's in my butt.

Please, he'll be over in a minute.

What?

Yes. Well, there it goes.

Butt just swallowed it.

Uh, doctor?

I'm just guessing.

But I think you might have just lost your thermometer.

Well, it's gone.

I have three options.

One, I can manually retrieve it. What's he saying?

Options. He wants to retrieve it manually.

Pass. Two,

give the dog a laxative and wait it out. And three, surgically remove it. A

laxative or surgery?

Laxative. You know, why don't you just give him a laxative? It'll probably come

out later on.

Liverwoods. So what would you suggest?

I'd like to go in manually.

Oh, my Lord.

Oh, this is not good.

Oh, Lassie, go home.

Why on earth would a guy go into a line of work like that?

All right, that's it for you. Hit the road. Get out of here. What?

But I'm your pet. You are not my pet. And if I were going to get a pet, I

wouldn't get one as annoying as you. Now get out. Go.

Hey, hey, don't... Don't worry about it. Look, you sprung me from the joint, you

fixed me up, I'm thankful.

Let's go.

Don't worry about me.

I'll just be going down the road, you know, disappearing without a trace.

I hope a car doesn't hit me. Oh, well, one less dog.

Doolittle. Hi, Daddy.

Hey, baby, how you doing?

I'm going to see you before I go to camp.

Honey, I'm really working on it.

Get out of here.

Daddy, is that a dog?

Yeah, that's a dog.

Mommy, guess what? Daddy got me a dog. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Is that what you've been up to, you sneak?

Oh, you caught me.

What?

I have allergies.

Yeah, I guess we'll see you at camp.

Grandpa, Daddy got me a dog.

He got me a dog. Can you believe it? My own dog.

Hi.

Okay, look, they're going to want to know your name.

I don't have one.

Well, we're going to have to think of one.

Oh, let me see. A little girl once called me, please, mommy, not him.

How about that?

Nah, it's not going to work.

You've got red hair. How about Lucy?

Lucy. Yes, I like that. Lucy. Good name. Yeah, just one problem.

I'm a guy.

Really?

How about Lucky?

Perfect. Lucky, yes.

Hi, I'm Lucky.

Hey, it works on two levels. I love it.

Daddy.

Come to my door to be nice.

What's his name?

His name is Lucky.

Does he do any tricks?

He does a pretty neat trick with a thermometer. It's kind of funny.

Hey, baby.

You got her a dog.

Yeah, well, I got us a dog.

Are you okay?

Yeah. Well, let's get you all set up here.

Oh, look at this nice rabbit on your door. Isn't that nice?

Oh!

What a fun cabin!

Oh, you smell the air here?

What a wonderful place. What a wonderful camp.

Daddy, can I go home with you and Lucky?

Hey, Maya.

Look, here's the deal.

You stay here for a little while, have a great time, then Lucky's all yours.

Three weeks is a long time.

Can I just go home with you? No, Cam, no, don't.

Okay, I'll stay.

Listen, you're going to have a great time here. When you get older, you're

to thank me. Because you're going to have so many friends. You'll see.

You'll see.

What's the matter with you?

Everything's gone by so fast.

Hey, don't you dare throw up in this car. What are you looking at over there?

The lines on the road. They're just flipping by.

Line, line, line, line, line, line, line. Don't focus on something so close.

Look at something further away. Don't look at the line.

Okay.

Tree, tree, tree, tree, tree, tree, tree, tree.

Go! Who knew?

Okay, not only could he understand me, but it turns out he's a doctor. Look!

And it hurts so bad.

I don't know what I would have done without him.

Yep.

Oh, what a day.

You have nuts all over the place. All messed up and fall apart.

Oh. Ooh.

How's that feel? Oh, Mrs. Durell.

Yeah, baby.

Okay.

Why?

What a jip.

Mind if I have a little privacy, please?

Oh, yeah, but it's fine when people watch us do it, huh?

Fine to turn on the garden hose.

Hey, you want a tip on a good position?

You were barking.

Well, I'm excited. You know, when I get excited, I start making all kinds of

sounds.

You never barked before.

Hello.

You, Doc.

We got trouble here.

Let's go.

No, no. You take care of the duck. I'll take the goat. Me?

All right, I'll get the ducks.

Hey.

What's going on out there?

Mark just showed up, so I'm going to have to go over the proposal.

We have to go over a few things in the proposal. Come on, let's move it. Do

that. If Lucky's out here, he wants to be taken for a walk first, so I got to

take Lucky for a walk. Then I got to deal with Mark.

Great. I'll see you in the morning. I'll be the one cooking breakfast.

Tomorrow.

Hey,

Mark.

Hey, how you doing?

You're trying to destroy my life, aren't you?

Freeze. Stop right there.

Don't you move from that spot. What are you doing? What are you doing in the

hallway this time of night?

I have to go to the bathroom.

What are you doing?

I'm patrolling the hall. I'm the father. I patrol the halls and make sure

everything is safe. And then while you're all asleep, I patrol these halls.

wait. Don't you move. Don't you move.

You know, the reason you're up this time and I go in the bathroom is because you

spend too much time drinking all those liquids. Too many liquids. You're having

too many liquids. And I think that you're old enough to be able to hold it

So go on back to bed.

Dad, I have to go.

Well, Lucky's in the bathroom right now.

The dog is using the bathroom?

Let me go in here and make sure you put the seat down, and it's your turn, okay?

Don't you move from there. Don't you move.

Hey, hey, hey. I heard a knocking.

One quiet, one quiet.

Hey.

Here's the toilet, is all.

Down like y 'all like it.

Ready for you.

No little sprinklets on it or anything. It's just waiting for you to come and do

your thing.

Dad?

I don't need adult supervision.

Somebody get this thing off me.

Get this thing off me.

Hey, take it easy. Don't gag.

Night, honey. Oh, good night.

Night, honey.

Let's go. See what you almost made happen? Let's go, let's go. What I

made happen? What I do? Let's do it. Beep, beep.

Oh, no. Where is she?

Not one.

What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing?

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm late. I'm late. Good evening, doctor.

Oh, no, no.

You're going to have to take your fat ass back. No, I don't.

Oh, my God. What a zoo.

Obviously not a kosher establishment. All right. Where are the chicks?

Oh, I'm cool.

Looks like they need to talk to a doctor, Doc.

Our butts hurt.

Okay, let's do this.

Watch your dropings. Tonight, this is a house of love.

East Coast, West Coast. Let's unite.

There's Brooklyn in the house.

This should take care of the inflammation.

The only problem is, who are you going to get the wiping on for?

Does Brad Pitt need a goat?

It's not really something you should be ashamed of. That happens to most men

occasionally. Probably under a lot of pressure.

He's not under pressure.

He's not attracted to me because I'm just a pigeon.

He's a self -hating pigeon.

That is not true. Ask him what he does all day. Go ahead, ask him. I sit in a

tree by myself.

It's because he's too good to eat with the rest of us when the old people feed

us in the park. Can I say something? And the way he stares at a robin's breast,

it's enough to make you sick. They're orange. I happen to be attracted to

breasts. They're orange. You're not a robin.

You're not a dove or a hawk. You're a pigeon, and I'm a pigeon. I'm sorry. She

sits on that nest all day long, and she gets a little crazy.

But may I ask you something?

If I turn this way, don't I look a little like a blue jay? The problem with

equilibrium might be due to an ear infection.

Or maybe due to this.

I'm a social drinker.

Very social.

Stand up.

Stand up.

Let me see you touch your nose and raise your left foot.

Leg. Oh, no.

I think you're wasted.

What? I see you walk this line.

Oh, my goodness.

You have a drinking problem, and I suggest that you stop drinking,

because I think you might be an alcoholic.

Really? Nobody likes a drunk monkey.

Sorry.

What you're suffering from is called obsessive compulsive behavior.

Throw the ball. Throw the ball. Throw the ball. Whenever you want the ball, I

want you to think about something else. Just don't say anything more. Don't

throw the ball. Can you relax your mind? This is the way it works. You're the

person. You throw the ball. I'm the dog. I get it. Simple as that. I swear. I

swear. I'll pee on your car. Please. It's very irritating, this ball thing.

Please throw the ball. Shut up and throw the ball. Am I alone here?

Am I all by myself?

Am I in another universe?

Throw the damn ball.

You can't save them all, Hasselhoff.

Hey, is there a doctor in the house?

Right up here, above your head.

Hey, Doc, look. They're going to kick me off the force. I'm as blind as a bat.

What do you say? Can you help me? Okay, just give me a minute, all right? All

right. Be quiet. Sorry. Tell me what you think of these.

Holy road apples. I can see.

No desk job for me. Thanks a million, Doc. You are most welcome.

This is going to be great. I'll make lieutenant.

Nothing can stop me. Nothing.

Oh, look at that. A donut shop.

What is that? I mean, all those animals. You know what? I bet you it's just the

tip of the iceberg and word gets around what's going on. Doctor, you must help

us quick. What happened? What are you talking about?

It is all my fault. I should not have let him out. Hey, all right. Now calm

down. Circus tiger. He will jump.

Didn't I tell you you should stop drinking?

Oh, drinking. I give it up.

That's better. Come on. Let's go. Wait for me. You don't know where it is.

And now on the day I end it all, I'd like to leave Margaret the bearded lady,

rhinestone collar, and my wet dry shaver.

I'd like to leave Jack the midget nothing.

It's too late for you, Jack.

Hey, get out of there.

You're right in my landing space.

Man. See if you're lying on your feet, roadkill.

Why don't you bloodsucking vermin take a break, all right?

Mm, bloodsucking.

Look out below.

You're lucky. Come on. Come on, watch.

Come on, we got to go up there. Are you crazy? That's a tiger.

I'm jumping now.

Oh, you come on.

Don't try and stop me. Coming right up. One order of men, side of dog.

Oh, I need a drink.

Goodbye, cruel world.

Oh, no, I just remembered.

I wanted to leave the whip to the baboon.

One of the few animals that enjoy that kind of thing. Hi.

Hey, who are you?

I'm Doolittle.

Yeah, well, get out of here.

I'm in a lot of pain, and I'm going to jump. Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Take

it easy now.

Listen, I'm a doctor. Maybe I can help you. I don't need a doctor. I need a

miracle. I'm a train wreck.

I have headaches, nausea. The worst thing is this double vision.

Oh, what's the use?

It's not like anybody cares about tigers anyway, you know? Stop you being silly.

Listen, there have been lots and lots and lots of lovable tigers.

Yeah? Name one.

How about Tony?

Tony the cereal tiger?

What? I didn't hear you come up with anything.

Oh, remember that song, Eye of the Tiger from Rocky III?

It's the eye of the tiger.

That one from Rocky III.

When Rocky was fighting Mr. T, couldn't beat Mr. T. Then Apollo Creed played Eye

of the Tiger for him. He went back and beat the snot out of Mr. T because of

of the Tiger. Because of that song, it moved him inside.

Not Eye of the Moose, not Eye of the Bull, Eye of the Tiger.

That's it. I'm jumping. No, no, don't jump. Jump, jump.

Why do you want to help me?

Because I'm the only one who can.

I don't know, maybe it's my destiny. And maybe it's your destiny to be the one

tiger that everybody remembers.

Why else would I be here talking to you?

Because the drunk monkey can't keep his mouth shut.

Are you going to let me help you? What if you can't?

If I can't help you, then you can eat me and Lucky. Yeah, or just him.

Really?

Would you take me back to the circus? I will take you back to the circus.

All right.

But don't think I wasn't going to jump because I was.

Sure hope you're a better doctor than you are a singer.

Good job, Doc.

Although you got to admit, you know, seeing a tiger jump five stories would

been really, really cool.

I heard that.

Hey, Dr. D.

Johnny D.

Three o 'clock, CalNet.

Meeting to go over the agreement. You going to be there? You're not going to

believe what I got for us, buddy.

Corporate cars every two years.

What's going on? Why aren't you paying attention to me?

Atlas of Feline Anatomy for veterinarians. But, John, we treat

practice.

Hey, Mark, sit down a second.

Just a minute.

Okay.

Do you remember when we first started out? We had those little crummy offices

the worst neighborhood in town. We got paid almost no money.

I've blocked it out.

Have you really?

I guess so, yeah.

Those were the most exciting times to me, you know? It was like you couldn't

wait to come to work because you felt like you were making a difference, you

know? And last night I had to treat some of...

some emergencies and i was challenged and it was difficult and i kind of i got

the same kind of rush i had back then i felt like i was doing something you know

i felt like i was making a difference and and i started thinking that maybe

i'm not giving my patients the right amount of attention

John, do me a favor. Don't ever confide in me, okay? I'm utterly useless in

these areas. I'm a very self -absorbed man. You want to get Gene in here?

Let's get Gino in here. Hey, Gino! Hey, Mark. Gene, get in here! You did your

job just by pretending you were listening for 30 seconds. It was very

me. Anytime.

Calnet, 3 o 'clock. 3 o 'clock sharp.

Calnet.

This is Dr. Fish.

Hello, is this the author of Feline Illnesses and Diseases?

Yes, it is. You've read my book?

Have I read your book? I sleep with your book next to my bed. It's my Bible.

Well, some people consider it the definitive work on cats, but Bible...

Well, no, I can... I can see your point. Dr. Fish, I have a very, very

sick, very, very big cat.

And I'm concerned that it might be something really serious because his

impaired and he seems to be in a lot of pain.

Well, unfortunately, if it is in the head, there's only two options. One is

surgery and the other is putting it down.

I have no idea how I'm going to do this.

I'm going to try to take care of you.

I promise.

Just hurry back.

Every minute you're gone, I'm one minute closer to death.

I just might hang myself by my underpants.

I can get underpants.

Not really.

He blew off the Callaway meeting. I don't care about that. I just... I need

speak with John.

Listen, you wouldn't believe what's going on here.

Oh, Doc! Doc!

Help me. You gotta help me. He's dead. He's laying there dead. You gotta help

me.

He's not dead.

Oh, for your pal, friend of mine. You gotta help him.

Oh, really? Why is that?

Why? Because... Because you're the man.

You're the man.

Oh, I'm the man now. I thought I was the guy the other day that you wanted to

get bubonic. I ain't going thirsty like now.

I was just kidding. You and I were ripping, Dr.

Sirius. Come on.

Goodbye,

world. I smell flowers.

I'm begging you.

Don't let him die. Don't let my buddy go.

I ain't thinking fast.

John?

Hey, Mark, hi. Where the hell have you been? What?

Callaway, the meeting.

I had an emergency.

Excuse me. Sorry.

Oh, excuse you.

Don't hang in there, brother.

Does it hurt when I do this?

It ain't no day at the dump. If he dies, I don't know what I'll do. You drag me

outside and eat me. Only out of respect.

Guys, you want to be quiet? I can't hear what you're talking.

Sorry, Doc.

John.

Uh -oh. Oh.

He said he was suffering from severe abdominal cramps.

He said?

You know I wouldn't be working on this rat unless it was an emergency. Come

a look for yourself.

What happened, Doc?

I think he's gone into a rest.

What? I don't feel a pulse. Oh, my God, he's a goner. He's a goner. He's not

breathing. He's not breathing. Johnny.

Hey, Mark, maybe we should shock him, huh?

I don't know. That'll be too big.

Come on.

We're going to have to give him CPR.

You know how to do CPR?

CPR? I can't even spell it.

No,

I can't even look that way.

I got no pulse. Lisa, not now. I'm trying to save somebody here. Honey.

Lisa, please.

I'm hungry.

It's a false alarm.

A false alarm.

There's nothing wrong with him. He just has gas.

Whoa, you're telling me.

He just had gas.

You're back. He's got gas. I don't care if you stink. I love you, pal. Thanks a

lot, little buddy. I felt your presence.

Lisa, stop looking at me like that.

Who would have ever thought you would end up in a mental institution?

Number one in our medical school class.

Not that I'm jealous, John.

Someone had to finish first.

Someone had to finish last, too.

So, John, you talk to animals now, do you?

Would you like to tell me about it?

Or would you rather tell my friend here, Battleheim?

I don't need to talk to you, Cat Blaine. Why? Do you think that he would talk

back to you?

You know, he just might.

And what would he say?

I'd say you were a butthead.

I really like this cat.

He's recommending you stay here a minimum of ten days.

You really think I need to be here for that long?

You said that you can talk to animals.

You know, I could really hear him.

Hey,

you can.

You've got to believe me.

You can.

Here you go, your medicine.

Okay.

I can get you anything you need, you know, inside. I can get you saucers or

coasters or anything. Chips, nuts, anything you need. I can get you

need. Hey, listen, if you have any extra medication, I can really use it. You're

not following me, are you? Whoa!

Now, what is all this?

This is to prove to me and the rest of the world that you can actually talk to

animals. Now, the orangutan is attached to this brainwave monitor.

Normally, he responds to visual stimulation, but...

Since you have got the gift of gab, you won't need pictures to make him respond,

will you?

Get acquainted, John.

Okay, listen.

I need your help.

I need you to make that needle over there move.

Because if you don't, they're going to make me stay here forever.

Okay? So just make that little needle jump.

Come on.

I know you can hear me now, so don't play. This is very serious right now.

I guess he's just not a big talker, John.

But can you, Brick, say something, please?

Please escort Dr.

Doolittle back to his room.

Adios y muchas gracias por nada.

Wait a minute, you speak Spanish?

That's why I couldn't understand. You think it's like you got a monkey from

south of the border. That's why I couldn't. Go. Turn that machine back on.

it. I said let's go. I'm worried,

John.

What are you trying to fool, man? You're not worrying about me. You're worrying

about CalNet. That's what you're worrying about.

John, I admit it.

I want the money. I'm not ashamed of it.

Here's what I want you to do for me.

I want you to just stop barking and chirping for one day. Because if you do

that, I'm pretty sure you can get out of here. That would be a really good idea,

because Calloway called me, and he said that if you're not back by Friday for

the press conference, the deal's off.

If you would do that for me, Johnny, I'll buy you a rat farm, and you can

burp and fart those little rats till you pass out.

But let's just get it signed.

Okay, my...

Pick the phone up, please.

Hi, we're not here. Leave a message.

Hey. Hi, it's me.

I'm really starting to miss you guys.

I'm starting to wonder what I'm doing here, too.

I don't know. Maybe you were right. Maybe this whole thing was just my

imagination. Hey, honey. Feeling better?

Who's this?

I'll give you a hint. I'm cute, I'm fair, and I make 500 babies a year.

Rodney, get back in your cage.

the bridge.

You trying to kill me?

Hey, never mind that. You get your little furry ass back in your cage,

Right now. I don't want your droppings on... Bye -bye.

My son, Rodney.

Little hairy boy sleeps in the cage. I have to keep him in the cage.

Hygiene.

He's not coming back.

I can't believe I fell for it.

Oh, boy. I'm getting dizzy.

Man, you don't look so good.

Yeah, look who's talking.

What do the three of you know?

Uh -oh.

I'm in bad shape.

Ow, my head.

What kind of a name is Ted for a horse?

What kind of a name is Wilbur for a man?

Peanut butter. That's how they got the horse to move his lips. They gave him

peanut butter. In the back of the mouth.

I disagree, sir.

Look, look, look. See his jaw? There he is. See?

Yes.

He's not talking. Not doing that.

No, no, no, no, no, no. What?

Finish what you're talking about. Oh, oh, oh.

Full teeth, full teeth.

Doc,

out here.

Doc, hey, over here.

What are you doing here?

You're unbelievable.

I crossed three freeways at night, no less, to come to rescue you, and all I

is, what are you doing here?

This isn't a prison, it's a clinic.

Look, the tiger's in bad shape.

The tiger?

Hey, listen, forget the tiger. Let me tell you something. I had a perfect life

until you came along and started talking to me. Now I'm sitting here in a robe

and slippers discussing Mr. Ed with these guys. You've ruined my life

don't want to talk to you anymore. Just go away. Just get out of here, please.

Go. This is crazy.

Oh, I get it. Now it's crazy to want to save a tiger's life. Listen, tigers die

every day. It's called nature.

Let me tell you a little about nature.

I'm a dog, and I act... Like a dog. I don't try to be anybody else. We are who

we are. And you are a doctor who can talk to animals.

That's who you are.

That is not who I am. Stop lying to yourself.

Didn't I tell you to get out of here? Get out of here. Go.

Get out of here. Get out of here. Fine. Stop coming around here talking to me.

With pleasure.

You better not come back.

Okay, Blaine, look, I want to go home.

Oh, so soon?

I missed the field trip to the zoo.

Listen, I know you've always hated me since medical school. Listen, we are

adults now. Let's put that all behind us. We both have families, and I want to

get back to my family. How do I do that?

Well, it's very simple.

Stop talking to animals, John.

Simple.

All right, listen, you're right. I made a mistake.

Maybe it was a case of temporary insanity. Maybe I was working too hard.

whatever it was, it's over, and I don't talk to animals anymore.

Tell you what, Blaine, you sign my release form, and I won't tell our

doctor friends about that little pink tutu you keep in your closet.

With the thong back.

Daddy's home!

Daddy? Hey, Daddy! Hey, beautiful, how are you?

Oh, I'm fine.

Hey, baby.

Why didn't you call me? I didn't want to surprise you.

Hey, why aren't you in camp, young lady? Mom brought her home.

I didn't fit in.

You're just going to have to try a little harder next year. Come here, give

hug. I missed you.

You're Daddy's baby, huh?

Honey, do they know that you left?

No, I escaped.

Of course they know I left. They released me. They told me I was better.

come home and spend some time with my family.

Are you not talking to me?

You're sure you're okay?

Oh, yeah, I'm fine.

It's like I'm scared.

You know, wondering when you were coming home.

Well, I am back, and I'm fine, and everything's going to be just like it

the old days.

Okay, I know what you're doing. Well, two can play that game.

I don't have to listen to you either.

You know, honey, I was thinking maybe we should get rid of that dog.

I ain't listening to him. Coming home empty -handed.

Don't tell me there wasn't a gift shop at the Luna bin.

Diane. Please call down the radiology and get me the x -rays on Mr. Galvin.

also check with Mrs. Rivers and see if she can switch her appointment to 315.

I may need to call in Jean for a consultation.

Yes, Doctor.

Jean, can you check your schedule and see if you have time for a 315

Sure. Good. And Mark, did you get back any of the tests on Mr. Freeman yet? I

think they're coming in this afternoon, Johnny.

Good.

Keep me informed, okay?

Hey, Doc, do you think I should get my beak done?

Call somebody for maintenance and tell them to put in some permanent screens or

set some traps. This is a doctor's office, not a zoo.

He's back.

I'm going to be rich.

This is where he lives, and this is where he exercises.

Does he do aerobics?

Yeah, the guinea pig aerobics.

Hey,

hey, hey, put that thing away. We don't have time. You're going to get your

dress dirty.

Pop, will you help out, please? I can't be late for this thing. But Rodney wants

to come.

Absolutely not. Rodney cannot come. This is a press conference for people. No

animals allowed. No Rodney. No way. Well, aren't you telling him he can't

then? He'll listen to you.

No, I'm not going to tell him he can't come.

Help out.

Come on, Pop.

Can I tell you a secret?

Yeah.

When Mommy called and told me what happened to Daddy, I wasn't afraid. I

happy. Because I believe that he can talk to animals.

Because I want his dad to be weird. Like me.

Is that wrong?

No. No, it's not wrong.

It's just, sometimes I don't think he likes me very much.

Ah, nay.

He loves you.

I know he loves me.

But I don't think he likes me.

And I really want him to.

I'm going to try to do things his way, Grandpa.

And stop doing these stupid experiments.

No, Maya.

Don't stop your experiments.

Sometimes, baddies are the ones who need to change.

Let me park this car.

All right. Come on, girls.

Maya, let me talk to you a second. We'll be in there in a second.

Okay.

Hey, listen.

I don't think your egg is a stupid idea. I think it's kind of cool.

You do?

Yes, I do. You have curiosity and you got a lot of good ideas, and that's what

makes you special.

You mean weird.

No, I didn't say weird. It's special.

And, you know, being weird is not such a bad thing. A lot of the greatest people

in history were considered weird when they came on the scene, you know.

Like who?

Lots of people.

Albert Einstein, when he showed up with his crazy hair, people thought he was

weird. You know, a guy that smart, that was weird to people.

And Muhammad Ali, when he showed up on the scene, saying what round he was

to knock out people in, screaming, I'm the greatest, people thought that was

strange, you know, kind of weird, super weird.

And Joan of Arc, she heard voices.

Like you did?

Yeah, like me.

Listen, this is what I'm trying to tell you. No matter what happens, you be who

you are.

And you love who you are.

I love you.

Yes. You know, Dad, you're a great person.

Oh, thank you.

You're a weird one, too.

Okay.

That was beautiful, man.

Hey, Lucky, what are you doing here?

Do you have a tissue?

Yes, I do, right in the back in that pocket over there.

Hey, listen.

I'm sorry I ignored you back at the house.

You were the one who said be who you are and you were right.

You put me back in touch with a part of me that I'd forgotten years ago, Lucky.

Can you take it easy for a second? I'm trying to say something.

Well, then just say it. I'm trying to say it.

What do you think I'm trying to say?

I love you, Lucky.

Oh, no, no. That's not what I'm trying to say to you.

Oh, yes, it is. That is not what I'm trying to tell you.

Oh, come on. Deep down inside, that's exactly what you want to say. Come on,

now. You'll feel a lot better. Come on.

Let it out. Go ahead.

You know it. I know it. I love you.

You love me?

Oh, now I'm going to need another tissue.

Where are we off to?

We are off to ruin my life.

Wake up!

Oh!

Hey, Doc.

You came back.

You need help. I want to take you to get some tests.

Tests? That's good, right?

Tests? Yeah.

Oh, I hate these stairs.

Take good care of him, Doc.

He's our star. He'll be okay.

Wait a minute.

The dog gets to write up front.

Hey, could you stop looking at me like I'm a side dish? Oh, don't flatter

yourself. Hey, you two guys shut up. Quiet.

Hey, look!

Jerry! Can you tip your voice down? He's a big fan.

Hey, Jerry!

How you doing, dude?

Just going for some death?

Hey, hey!

I'm fine. The tiger's fine.

I'm sick.

I told you they'd get away.

No thanks to you.

No thanks to me.

Three armed guards versus a pigeon, that's a fair fight?

He's not at home, and he's not answering his pager.

He's starting to get worried.

Mom.

Yes? Guess who Maya brought to the party.

Robbie. Oh, Robbie. There you are. Robbie.

Man. Where the hell is Doolittle? You know, I just talked to him.

He stopped at an orphanage to take care of a sick child. You know, that is so

John. It's so typical of a man who just, he just...

Weller, take your lips off my butt long enough to hear what I'm going to say.

If Doolittle's not here in ten minutes, I'm pulling the plug. You're really not

going to have to do that. He's at the orphanage, sir, and he's going to be

in five minutes. I hope so. Yeah, he really will be. He's going to be here in

five minutes.

Where's the kitchen at? I've got to get in here.

Where's the food?

Who's Rodney?

Sorry.

You rats help. Hey, we don't work for you.

Hey, give me a break. I saved your life. That's yesterday's news.

Take a hike.

You want gratitude?

Get a hamster. Get a hamster.

You're killing me. Get a hamster. I got to get help.

Yeah, I got a plate ID on the cat napper. Do something.

The heart of a hawk. The heart of a hawk. The heart of a hawk. A chicken

You'll get over that.

I'm joking.

Gene, I'm trying to get a program.

He's the kind of guy who would rather be trudging through the snow with a little

black bag.

Making house calls.

He's kind of adorable, really. Ow!

That hurt me. Oh, my gosh, I'm sorry. Oh, Wendy, I broke his nose.

I think I broke his nose. Was it broken? Let me check.

Let me take him to x -ray.

I'm blacking out.

I'm blacking out.

I feel good.

This really hurts. It hurts. Of course it hurts. You walked right into a door.

Oh, God, I'm bleeding.

I'm bleeding. Do we have any more feet in the wall?

Hey, guys. What happened to you?

I walked into a door.

I crushed a septum. Oh, really?

Look, guys, this is not really a good time. I'm kind of here with somebody.

Oh, my God, Jeff. I do not approve.

Lisa is a wonderful woman.

It's okay, guys.

It's a freaking tiger, man!

All right, he's not going to hurt you.

Be afraid.

Be very afraid.

Oh, my goodness.

I have to sit.

Here's what we're going to do.

We're going to go tell Johnny that we're going to fix his little tiger up after

he signs.

Okay? No, we haven't committed. We haven't even committed. He's going to

Acres. He's perfect. That way we'll get our money.

It looks like it's shifted slightly to the left. That means that there's

something applying pressure to it, Gene. But, John, you can't operate on a

tiger. Especially when you don't know what the symptoms are. Double vision and

chronic headaches. He told me so.

John, you're going to wind up back at Hammersmith.

I mean, I think I've been very supportive of you, but if you expect me

believe that a tiger told you what his symptoms are, I just think I might have

to draw the line.

You have to do something quick.

We've got to get him into OR fast. It's the only chance he's got.

What about the press conference?

20 bucks says this guy never showed.

Watch your back, everybody. Try to get to the operating room. Clear the way,

please. Out of the way, please. Out of the way. Clear the spot, please. We have

an emergency here.

Ladies and gentlemen, please.

Clear the way, please. Coming through.

Coming through. There you are.

Let's do this.

Mr. Callaway, Mark broke his nose.

The nose can wait.

The press is waiting. Come on, partners. We're announcing.

I really don't know if we should leave Mark with his nose in this area.

Where were you? Thank you all for coming.

And thank you all for being so patient. As you all know, the practice of

medicine and the business of medicine have been undergoing very big changes in

this country.

We at CalNet strive to be at the forefront of these changes.

That is why I'm proud to announce the acquisition of one of San Francisco's...

This is the life. Hot wings.

Nuts. I love nuts.

Oh, my.

Live praise.

Uh -oh.

That's a big cat.

It's all right.

It's okay.

It's all right.

It's okay.

It's not going to hurt anybody.

It's a very, very sick tiger.

You better have some kind of rational explanation for all of this.

You know, Mr. Calloway, I don't have a rational explanation for this. I wish I

did, but I don't.

Right now, I got a really sick tiger on my hand. I'm going to go back here and

try to save it.

That's the only thing that matters.

Doolittle, you go through with this.

I hope you'll excuse me.

Stupid cat!

Ruin the good party! Shut up. What do you mean, shut up? Hey, I'll give her a

new cat!

Are you okay?

Well, the man's coming down hard, but we're holding strong.

Oh, I got such a chill. Really? Really. I'm going to give you a local.

It's not going to hurt.

You'll feel like a little bee sting.

A little pressure, that's about it.

Okay? Here I come.

He can't do this.

He still thinks he can talk to animals.

He can, Lisa.

He can talk to animals.

It all started when he was a kid. I didn't know what to do. What are you

Dad?

I thought it was a handicap.

But it's a gift, Lisa.

Don't you believe it? Look, look, look. See for yourself.

I need you to stay alert. Tell me if you feel any numbness in your paws or down

your right side.

Have you ever done this operation before?

Yeah, once in medical school.

But to a cadaver.

But my professor told me I did such a good job that had my patient not been

dead, he would have lived.

Very comforting, Doc.

It's like Noah's Ark out here truly is a remarkable sight. This odd collection

of animals has actually prevented San Francisco's finest from entering the

building, which is apparently where the stolen tiger is being held.

Okay, we're open.

Gene, ear gate, please.

All right, Jake, I need you to be alert.

Tell me if you feel anything, anything at all. You feel anything now? No.

Just the same old pain.

How about now? You feeling any numbness at all?

I can't.

I don't know.

Just relax and listen to the sound of my voice, okay? I'm scared.

Don't be scared. I'm not going to let you go.

John?

What did he say?

He says he's a little scared.

Pulse is dropping fast.

The door is bulging, too. There's too much pressure.

Uh -oh.

My left side went numb.

Pulse still dropping. Okay, all right. Hey, you just hang in there, okay,

Hang in there for me.

Okay, Doc.

It's a black cloud. It has to be.

All I got to do is find him.

Too close to his motor strip. A little more section, Gene. I got to be able to

see. We're losing him. We got to relieve pressure. Come on, Jake.

Don't let go yet. We're almost there, all right?

Almost there. I can feel it.

There. There?

That's it.

Okay, okay, here we go.

It's gone.

The pain is gone.

My pressure's stabilizing.

It's gone.

It's really gone.

He's okay.

Thank you.

You are very welcome.

You just lay back and relax. We're going to have you back in the center ring in

no time.

Hey, Doc, why are you going to do that? Now, if he tries to eat me again, I'm

going to smack that mustache off your face.

He's a lunatic.

He has a history of methamphetamines.

He is frankly insomniac.

Remarkable surgeon.

He's here to stay.

He is the straw that stirs the drink. I want excuses right there.

And the dynamic, caring, I can't imagine... Too little.

Wonderful work, Doc. Bravo, bravo, Johnny. I'm so inspired. Welcome aboard.

I feel like I've bought myself a winning franchise.

Well,

you haven't bought anything.

We're not for sale.

Look.

We don't need these zambie, pambie, wacko freaks. Straight to the top.

You want pigeon?

I'll show you pigeon.

Are you happy now?

I'm right behind you.

If we could talk to

the...

Somebody come here.

I think we got birds here.

Hey, somebody, I see some shaking in that egg.

I see shaking in the egg.

Hey, hey, hey, how's it going, McGruff? Uh -oh.

You know what? A tic -tac wouldn't kill you.

Hey, girls, get up.

We got birds coming.

Oh, great, a swan egg. This is going to be great. Come on, girls. I have just

one question. What is a swan? Okay,

just breathe.

Yeah, yeah.

Good Lord, Doc, what on earth is that?

That would be Maya's brand -new baby advocate.

Cool.

Mama? Mama?

I'm not your mama.

Mama? Oh, no, don't look at me.

Although there was that one time I got drunk in the Everglades.

Hey, Doc, wait up.

So you're going to treat both humans and animals. I love it. Yeah, well, it's no

big thing. We're all basically the same. My thoughts exactly. Okay.

First, I want to move my bowl up on the dining room table.

Second, no more dog food. That stuff is gross.

I want my own room with a TV.

This game will be fine.

I hate stories with happy endings.

Yoo -hoo.

What did you say? I didn't say none. None.