Original subtitles

Mr. Rogers, I think this is a dress.

I mean, it looks pretty big.

Yeah.

He was some rich guy and blesses women and helps the unfortunate, but I wonder which

way it is.

Let me try this house.

I think it's this house right here.

Mr. Rogers.

Oh, I wonder which chord this is now.

Hi.

Oh, are you Mr. Rogers?

I might be.

Who's asking?

A sub girl.

Sub girl.

Yeah.

Yeah.

What's like a substitute teacher or something?

Something like that.

Yeah.

I just don't understand what the sub girl means, you know?

And honestly, you know, it's kind of getting late at night and I had pretty much, you know,

a few, you know, teachers knocking my door today.

Okay.

I wasn't really looking forward to substitute, but how can I help you?

Well, they told me that you were going to be a substitute teacher.

I was going to be a substitute teacher.

I was going to be a substitute teacher.

I was going to be a substitute teacher.

I was going to be a substitute teacher.

I was going to be a substitute teacher.

I was going to be a substitute teacher.

I was going to be a substitute teacher.

I wasn't really looking forward to substitute, but how can I help you?

Well, they told me that you, you know, like help women out.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Like they took it like magic powers or something.

Yeah, I don't know.

I'm just trying to see what it's about.

Yeah.

What you're about, Mr. Rogers.

See, when hot, weird girls come to my door, you know, I kind of get a little spooked out

of myself, you know, because I don't know if you're like the FBI or, you know, the CIS

or something, you know.

No, it's nothing.

You wearing a wire?

Nothing.

Okay.

Nothing there.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Oh, yeah, yeah, man.

What was those?

Those like melons?

Yeah, yeah, just, yeah.

Yeah, like, like, cocoa melons.

Yeah, yeah, I'm not laughing with you.

I'm laughing at you.

Oh, wow.

Yeah.

But, you know, it's cold outside, you know, being a girl, you don't have a coat on.

I can, I kind of get a little bit of a cold.

I can't get a cold.

I can't get a cold.

I can't get a cold.

Yeah.

But, you know, it's cold outside, you know, being a girl, you don't have a coat on.

I can kind of tell your nipples are hard.

Yeah.

And, you know, what male would I be if I didn't allow you into my house, you know?

Exactly.

Those melons right there?

Yeah, man.

They grant you access to a lot of things, a lot of wonders.

Yeah.

You cold?

I am.

Freezing?

Freezing.

Oh, like Sub-Zero?

Yeah, Sub-Zero.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Let's come in.

Okay.

Just walk in.

All right.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Yeah, so, this here is a great place.

Yeah.

It's a place you should be, you know?

How so?

Because if you was outside, you'll be cold.

Yes.

And now that you're inside, you're like warm.

Yes.

Like lukewarm.

Yeah.

I'll just sit on the couch for a bit, man.

You know?

Get comfy.

Yeah.

Let me see how I can be of use.

Yeah, that's a brighter light.

All right.

So, you came to my doorstep at about 6 p.m., approximately.

Why?

I just heard you were this nice guy that...

Nice?

You're not going to call me nice.

What do they normally call you?

An asshole.

Oh.

I like assholes.

A helpful asshole.

Oh, a helpful asshole.

Yeah, you know how, you know, you ever watch like, you know, Bang Roads and stuff like

that, they like help the assholes, you know, when they insert it in?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Could you fit like a ruler in your mouth?

Yeah.

Oh, okay.

That's kind of like math-y.

Get me?

Yep.

No, you don't.

Nope.

Yeah, but you're...

Yeah, you're catching on.

You're catching on, man.

Well, anyway, to formally introduce myself, my name is Mr. Rogers.

Nice to meet you.

Yeah, man.

So, how does it feel to be like a substitute teacher or something?

It's great.

Yeah?

You feel like you're doing your part in society?

Sure am.

You know, I'm a teacher.

Sure am.

You know what else you could be doing?

What else could I be doing?

Helping the great cocks of America.

You know, Donald Trump just got hired, so that's the president, so, you know...

Oh, yeah.

How about you make cocks great again?

No.

Yeah?

Oh, you like that one, eh?

Yeah.

Yeah, no, you don't.

But listen, I got a job for you today, Subbie.

All right, what's my job?

Your job is to be brainless and get plastered.

You know what that means?

What does that mean?

Don't talk, just get fucked.

Oh.

You good with that?

I'm good with that.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Give me a fist pump.

Yeah?

Yeah, I like you already.

I don't, but I'll probably like you later.

Yeah, you do.

Yeah, I do.

Maybe it's the tits.

Or the S on the chain.

Yeah?

Yeah?

I'm surprised I didn't lug you.

It's pretty diamond, you know?

Yeah.

Pretty nice.

It is nice.

Yeah, so, you seem like someone that's like, you know, you're a little bit of a jerk.

Yeah, so, you seem like someone that's like, you know, straddling the fence.

Like you're like married or something.

Yeah.

Oh!

There it goes.

Yep.

You tried to hide it, huh?

No, no.

Don't worry.

Mr. Rogers never kisses and tells.

All right.

Yeah, keep it cool to the G code, you know?

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, but anyway, how about you all get naked?

You can start with your shirt, though.

Okay.

House rules.

Oh, house rules.

All right.

Whoa, my God!

Mm-hmm.

Whoa, those shit's got protein in it, don't they?

Yeah, they do.

Oh, yeah.

Eating them Wheaties, eh?

A lot of protein.

Yeah.

That's about like five pounds.

The other one's like five pounds.

Rounded up to like 15.

Yeah.

Yeah, so, you're still on a scale.

You're probably like 160, right?

Ha ha!

Ha ha!

Enough laughing.

How about you stand up for me?

Yeah.

Wow.

Those things.

All right, Subbie.

New mission.

What are we doing?

Let's call it, pull your trousers down.

Oh, my trousers.

Yeah.

Okay.

Got underwear on?

Nope.

Huh, got a gal.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, she's called Yuri.

Yeah.

Wow.

All right, pull them down for me.

Turn around.

Make me proud.

Holy fuck.

Oh, my God.

Yeah, man.

Remember Gary just addressed?

You know, they knew what they were doing.

Yep.

Yeah.

Probably his close friend, eh?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Let me sit and have to get on your level.

Okay, as I admire the artwork here, I think that you qualify for something so great, so

breathtaking out of this world, Subbie.

You qualify for Black Cock.

Yes.

You ever heard of that?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I'm sure you have.

Mm-hmm.

You kind of like, yeah, you give me like those vibes, like you got, you know, went to the

locker rooms, you know.

The locker rooms.

Yeah, man.

College dorm rooms.

College dorm rooms, you know.

You went from each side, though, you know.

Yeah.

You played like female volleyball, then you went to the guy's side after.

You know, definitely the vibes, man.

But yeah, I like what I see, man.

And there's nothing left for me to say, honestly.

I just got to bang you out and then, you know, kick you out after.

It's cool?

It's fun.

All right.

Let's go, gang.

Oh, yeah, Mr. Rogers.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

Oh, yes, oh, fuck, oh, come on, Mr. Rogers, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

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You know

For a substitute teacher, you know

That was pretty good, man. Yeah, like I would never thought you were such a whore

Man, do you take cock like, you know, like cock-a-doodle-doo, you know for lack of a better terms

But yo pussy was great man. Like, you know head was phenomenal

Ass and tits was you know, oh

Know that means

Doggy town, you know that took you to Fountain, right?

Yeah, man, you know after all these no workouts you put me through and you know

Bones crackling and you know joints hurting. I

Just got a you know, take it down for a bit, you know

I don't mean to kick you out or nothing like that. I'm not really kicking you out, but I am you know

But you're cute and all but you know

Yeah, I'm running out of good words to say and the bad ones are you know followed by that. So

If you grab your panties, you know your shirt that you came in with and you know, you're your cool Nikes

You can just you know, find yourself to the door and you know

Come back if you ever you know get lonely

Yeah, but think about it twice though, you know, cuz I might be you know eating brunch or something

Yeah, man, so yeah the doors that way um, make sure you know lock the top, you know, you know how it goes

Yeah, man, yeah, it's been a real man you're a real G. All right. Bye