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00:00:04,830 --> 00:00:07,750
La Fabrique
www.sous-titres.eu
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00:00:35,740 --> 00:00:37,570
Children, let’s all take our seats.
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00:00:38,070 --> 00:00:41,290
As you all know,
Thanksgiving is only two weeks away.
4
00:00:41,410 --> 00:00:43,710
And the school
has arranged for a lecture
5
00:00:43,830 --> 00:00:45,870
from a real live native American.
6
00:00:46,710 --> 00:00:48,170
Neat-o!
Huh, fellas?
7
00:00:48,420 --> 00:00:53,050
Hello, boys and girls.
I’m David “Running Horse” Sawitzki.
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00:00:53,340 --> 00:00:55,720
And I am one-sixteenth
Cherokee Indian.
9
00:00:56,050 --> 00:00:59,050
Does that mean we only have to pay
one-sixteenth attention to you?
10
00:01:00,510 --> 00:01:03,600
There’s been a lot of stories
about the first Thanksgiving,
11
00:01:03,730 --> 00:01:04,980
and unfortunately,
12
00:01:05,100 --> 00:01:08,100
they are mostly geared towards
making the pilgrims look good,
13
00:01:08,230 --> 00:01:10,770
and my people
being degraded as usual.
14
00:01:11,070 --> 00:01:13,360
Was Thanksgiving
about turkey and peace,
15
00:01:13,490 --> 00:01:16,820
or was it the beginning
of the genocide of an entire race?
16
00:01:17,110 --> 00:01:18,820
Thanksgiving is about murder?
17
00:01:22,540 --> 00:01:23,750
This is bullcrap.
18
00:01:23,870 --> 00:01:25,620
A guest comes to our class,
19
00:01:25,750 --> 00:01:27,750
and assigns us a report
on Thanksgiving?
20
00:01:27,870 --> 00:01:30,290
It is kind of true.
Thanksgiving is fun and all,
21
00:01:30,420 --> 00:01:32,460
but the native Americans
got screwed over.
22
00:01:32,590 --> 00:01:35,420
And now my video game time
is getting screwed over by them.
23
00:01:37,300 --> 00:01:39,890
Fat ass, why don’t you come and help?
24
00:01:40,050 --> 00:01:41,970
You’re really being grumpy today.
25
00:01:42,350 --> 00:01:44,350
We all have to do
this report together.
26
00:01:44,470 --> 00:01:45,930
We are wasting time.
27
00:01:46,060 --> 00:01:49,150
If we have to write a report,
let’s go downstairs and watch TV.
28
00:01:49,270 --> 00:01:51,730
– How is that gonna help?
– Dumb ass, it’s November.
29
00:01:51,860 --> 00:01:54,530
The History Channel must be playing
Thanksgiving specials.
30
00:01:54,650 --> 00:01:56,240
We can learn everything we need.
31
00:01:56,820 --> 00:01:58,660
You’re watching the History Channel.
32
00:01:58,780 --> 00:02:00,990
Where the truth is history.
33
00:02:01,530 --> 00:02:03,740
A lot has been written
about the first Thanksgiving
34
00:02:03,910 --> 00:02:05,660
between pilgrims
and native Americans.
35
00:02:06,290 --> 00:02:09,120
But what really happened
at that first historic dinner?
36
00:02:09,540 --> 00:02:10,540
I told you.
37
00:02:10,670 --> 00:02:13,000
Who needs to read books
when we’ve got History Channel?
38
00:02:13,340 --> 00:02:16,510
We know the first Thanksgiving
was in the fall of 1621,
39
00:02:16,800 --> 00:02:19,970
but new evidence suggests
that the first exchanging of foods
40
00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:22,140
between pilgrims
and native Americans.
41
00:02:22,300 --> 00:02:24,010
May have been visited by aliens.
42
00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:28,770
In every journal entry we research
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00:02:28,890 --> 00:02:30,480
from those early pilgrims,
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00:02:30,600 --> 00:02:32,360
not one entry mentions anything
45
00:02:32,480 --> 00:02:34,270
about aliens not being there.
46
00:02:34,900 --> 00:02:36,570
And what about the food?
47
00:02:36,730 --> 00:02:39,490
Does the appearance of stuffing
at the first Thanksgiving tables
48
00:02:39,610 --> 00:02:41,870
suggest a kind of alien technology?
49
00:02:43,910 --> 00:02:45,790
What?
This isn’t history!
50
00:02:45,910 --> 00:02:47,950
Dude, it is called History Channel.
51
00:02:48,120 --> 00:02:49,870
And if we look in all the journals
52
00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:51,580
and all the history books,
53
00:02:51,710 --> 00:02:53,630
there is no reference to “stuffing”
54
00:02:53,750 --> 00:02:55,420
before 1621.
55
00:02:55,550 --> 00:02:57,460
So, where did it come from?
56
00:02:57,590 --> 00:02:59,260
Did it come from space?
57
00:02:59,510 --> 00:03:00,590
We don’t know.
58
00:03:00,760 --> 00:03:03,970
Did ancient aliens
shape the first Thanksgiving?
59
00:03:04,140 --> 00:03:06,470
Is it mere coincidence that Cape Cod,
60
00:03:06,600 --> 00:03:09,980
when viewed from space,
looks like an alien life form?
61
00:03:10,600 --> 00:03:13,190
What exactly
did the pilgrims experience?
62
00:03:13,310 --> 00:03:15,570
How did those beings
from another world
63
00:03:15,690 --> 00:03:18,360
shape the dinner
we celebrate every November?
64
00:03:19,490 --> 00:03:21,860
Why are you being so grumpy?
Are you on your period?
65
00:03:21,990 --> 00:03:24,820
We are not basing research
for our report on this crap.
66
00:03:24,950 --> 00:03:26,120
Let’s take a vote.
67
00:03:26,240 --> 00:03:28,410
Who thinks ancient aliens
at Thanksgiving
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00:03:28,540 --> 00:03:30,370
makes an interesting report?
69
00:03:32,040 --> 00:03:33,040
Dude!
70
00:03:33,420 --> 00:03:34,960
Who wants to take a little Pamprin
71
00:03:35,080 --> 00:03:37,380
so their menstrual cramps
stop bringing everyone down?
72
00:03:38,840 --> 00:03:41,670
All right, fine.
Let’s get this stupid report over with.
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00:03:52,640 --> 00:03:54,150
A report from where?
74
00:03:54,560 --> 00:03:56,360
Does congress know about this yet?
75
00:03:56,480 --> 00:03:58,610
Keep it contained,
and get the helicopters ready.
76
00:03:58,730 --> 00:04:00,400
I’ll be there as soon as I can.
77
00:04:01,780 --> 00:04:02,780
Darling?
78
00:04:03,280 --> 00:04:05,820
They found something.
This could be it.
79
00:04:12,750 --> 00:04:15,630
You knew that stopped menstruation
is called menopause?
80
00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:20,000
God takes your period away,
and it makes you really irritable.
81
00:04:20,130 --> 00:04:23,090
That’s why Kyle’s been so grouchy.
He’s going through menopause.
82
00:04:23,220 --> 00:04:24,630
Shut your fucking mouth!
83
00:04:24,760 --> 00:04:26,010
See what I mean?
84
00:04:29,560 --> 00:04:30,560
Is that them?
85
00:04:30,810 --> 00:04:31,850
That’s them.
86
00:04:46,280 --> 00:04:48,370
You boys have been very busy.
87
00:04:49,830 --> 00:04:51,790
We need to know everything
that you know.
88
00:04:52,910 --> 00:04:54,080
About what?
89
00:04:54,210 --> 00:04:56,460
Have you been contacted
by alien life forms?
90
00:04:56,580 --> 00:04:58,670
Did you come across
some kind of ship?
91
00:04:59,090 --> 00:05:01,500
Look, we saw this stuff
on History Chanel.
92
00:05:03,130 --> 00:05:05,300
We are the History Channel.
93
00:05:05,630 --> 00:05:08,140
We’ve been collecting information
on Thanksgiving for years.
94
00:05:08,590 --> 00:05:10,180
We’re getting closed to the truth.
95
00:05:10,640 --> 00:05:13,430
And now, you have
the exact same information.
96
00:05:13,560 --> 00:05:15,020
It can’t be coincidence.
97
00:05:15,480 --> 00:05:17,190
We saw it on your channel.
98
00:05:17,600 --> 00:05:19,270
What exactly did you see?
99
00:05:20,020 --> 00:05:22,400
Stuffing was never heard of
before 1621,
100
00:05:22,530 --> 00:05:24,570
so it might be alien technology.
101
00:05:24,690 --> 00:05:25,740
My God!
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00:05:26,070 --> 00:05:28,780
Would you be willing
to say that on camera?
103
00:05:36,410 --> 00:05:39,000
All right,
that’s enough MTV for one day.
104
00:05:39,130 --> 00:05:41,000
Watch something
that stimulates your brain.
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00:05:41,130 --> 00:05:43,340
– I’m putting on History Channel.
– OK, Dad!
106
00:05:43,460 --> 00:05:47,300
You’re watching the History Channel.
The only network dedicated to history.
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00:05:47,760 --> 00:05:49,930
Coming up next: it’s Monster Quest!
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00:05:50,800 --> 00:05:52,560
Followed by Hairy Bikers.
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00:05:53,430 --> 00:05:57,480
But now, back to part three
of Ancient Aliens at Thanksgiving.
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00:05:58,060 --> 00:06:00,100
It has become a widely accepted fact
111
00:06:00,230 --> 00:06:03,780
that Thanksgiving was a meal
attended by pilgrims, native Americans
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00:06:03,940 --> 00:06:05,400
and alien beings.
113
00:06:05,900 --> 00:06:09,280
Stuffing wasn’t mentioned until 1621.
114
00:06:09,410 --> 00:06:11,530
And it might have been
alien technology.
115
00:06:11,820 --> 00:06:13,700
And while the number of people
who accept
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00:06:13,870 --> 00:06:15,450
the alien theory continues to grow,
117
00:06:15,750 --> 00:06:17,540
some experts have stepped forward
118
00:06:17,710 --> 00:06:19,540
with a wildly different view.
119
00:06:19,710 --> 00:06:23,540
Could it be that pilgrims
were actually aliens themselves?
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00:06:23,880 --> 00:06:26,800
Of course, you can’t prove
there were no aliens.
121
00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:30,090
Just like you can’t prove
the pilgrims themselves weren’t aliens.
122
00:06:30,220 --> 00:06:31,340
Can you prove that?
123
00:06:31,470 --> 00:06:33,930
Draw that Thanksgiving turkey symbol
with you hand.
124
00:06:34,060 --> 00:06:36,810
Maybe that symbol
matches galaxies, space or something.
125
00:06:37,680 --> 00:06:40,650
Could it be that the pilgrims
we’ve read about all these years
126
00:06:40,770 --> 00:06:42,610
actually came from another planet?
127
00:06:42,730 --> 00:06:45,860
History experts
like Kyle Broflovski say ’yes.’
128
00:06:46,150 --> 00:06:48,490
Pilgrims and Indians
might as well be all aliens
129
00:06:48,610 --> 00:06:51,030
who came here
and made an intergalactic treaty.
130
00:06:51,610 --> 00:06:53,240
Check it out.
We’re on TV.
131
00:06:53,990 --> 00:06:56,700
How can they make a show out of this?
I wasn’t agreeing with them!
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00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:01,290
What are you doing?
133
00:07:02,670 --> 00:07:05,090
The first Thanksgiving
was a space treaty?
134
00:07:05,210 --> 00:07:07,000
Native Americans are aliens?
135
00:07:07,260 --> 00:07:09,880
I was just explaining
how a negative argument doesn’t…
136
00:07:10,050 --> 00:07:12,470
My people have been through enough.
God damn you!
137
00:07:13,510 --> 00:07:15,640
The white man
is gonna pay for his lies!
138
00:07:21,890 --> 00:07:22,810
Look at this!
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00:07:22,980 --> 00:07:26,360
An aerial photograph of Cape Cod
where the pilgrims landed in 1620.
140
00:07:26,730 --> 00:07:29,610
Five pilgrim settlements
with Plymouth Rock here.
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00:07:29,740 --> 00:07:32,160
The same symbols
appear everywhere in history.
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00:07:32,490 --> 00:07:35,280
The symbology lines up
to mirrored points in space!
143
00:07:35,620 --> 00:07:39,790
If Kyle Broflovski is right,
Plymouth Rock is a wormhole.
144
00:07:40,040 --> 00:07:42,460
Pilgrims and Indians were the aliens.
145
00:07:42,580 --> 00:07:44,080
How did we not think of it?
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00:07:44,250 --> 00:07:48,170
It can take the innocence of a child
to make us see the most simple things.
147
00:07:48,420 --> 00:07:50,130
True dat.
148
00:08:00,180 --> 00:08:03,020
Get all those tourists out of here!
We need this place secure.
149
00:08:03,140 --> 00:08:05,230
All right, people, let’s clear out.
150
00:08:05,350 --> 00:08:07,940
We need you all to disperse.
151
00:08:08,940 --> 00:08:10,860
This area is under quarantine.
152
00:08:11,280 --> 00:08:12,650
Get me a piece of chalk!
153
00:08:24,120 --> 00:08:27,040
– Nothing.
– Guess Kyle Broflovski was wrong.
154
00:08:28,090 --> 00:08:31,090
At least, we weren’t outsmarted
by a nine-year-old kid.
155
00:08:32,130 --> 00:08:33,550
We should have known.
156
00:08:33,670 --> 00:08:36,510
Pilgrims couldn’t be from space.
157
00:09:07,460 --> 00:09:09,170
You can see it right there.
158
00:09:09,420 --> 00:09:11,920
An object clearly fell from the sky
and struck the earth.
159
00:09:12,340 --> 00:09:13,460
What is it?
160
00:09:14,170 --> 00:09:15,760
It’s a pilgrim.
161
00:09:19,930 --> 00:09:21,060
So then,
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00:09:21,390 --> 00:09:24,390
Professor Broflovski
was right after all.
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00:09:32,150 --> 00:09:33,400
Not long ago,
164
00:09:33,690 --> 00:09:36,400
it was an accepted fact
that civilizations on Earth
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00:09:36,530 --> 00:09:39,740
shared the universe
with beings from other planets.
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00:09:42,200 --> 00:09:46,330
These alien beings visited our world
and once even settled it,
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00:09:46,750 --> 00:09:49,750
from deep
within the galaxy Canis Major
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00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:53,750
and a distant planet,
called Plymouth.
169
00:10:04,890 --> 00:10:06,520
Fellow pilgrims!
170
00:10:06,930 --> 00:10:09,400
The Great Captain hath gone missing,
171
00:10:09,520 --> 00:10:13,400
and thine enemies
have attacked our stuffing mines!
172
00:10:13,570 --> 00:10:17,570
We must prepare for war
with the Indians!
173
00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:22,990
Now, it is our time!
174
00:10:23,160 --> 00:10:25,410
We shall attack Plymouth,
175
00:10:25,580 --> 00:10:27,160
and we will take…
176
00:10:27,410 --> 00:10:30,080
all their stuffing!
177
00:10:39,180 --> 00:10:40,180
Mom!
178
00:10:41,090 --> 00:10:42,930
Did you get stuffing
for Thanksgiving?
179
00:10:43,760 --> 00:10:46,270
Tell me you’ve already got
everything we need!
180
00:10:46,850 --> 00:10:48,770
Thanksgiving’s still
a couple weeks away.
181
00:10:49,060 --> 00:10:50,480
I haven’t gone shoppies yet.
182
00:10:52,480 --> 00:10:53,480
What is it?
183
00:10:53,730 --> 00:10:57,360
Clyde saw on the news
there’s a massive stuffing shortage!
184
00:10:57,690 --> 00:10:59,530
Get your coat.
We gotta go to the store!
185
00:11:03,570 --> 00:11:04,700
You have stuffing?
186
00:11:04,830 --> 00:11:06,910
Stuffing?
Sure, aisle 17.
187
00:11:07,750 --> 00:11:09,160
We’re not too late.
Come!
188
00:11:16,090 --> 00:11:18,260
– Where is it?
– It’s right there, right on the…
189
00:11:20,630 --> 00:11:22,180
Wait, that can’t be right.
190
00:11:23,300 --> 00:11:26,140
– What happened to all the stuffing?
– What are you talking about?
191
00:11:26,810 --> 00:11:28,470
We got more in the back, right?
192
00:11:29,390 --> 00:11:30,940
I just did inventory.
193
00:11:31,310 --> 00:11:32,400
All was here.
194
00:11:32,810 --> 00:11:36,190
It’s two weeks until Thanksgiving,
and we’re out of stuffing?
195
00:11:43,910 --> 00:11:48,410
You dare come here, ambassador,
after attacking our stuffing mines?
196
00:11:48,580 --> 00:11:51,080
The stuffing mines were never yours.
197
00:11:51,250 --> 00:11:53,040
Without control of the mines,
198
00:11:53,170 --> 00:11:55,630
we cannot supply stuffing
to the mortals, ambassador!
199
00:11:55,790 --> 00:11:57,130
This will be war!
200
00:11:57,550 --> 00:12:00,420
You are in no position
to declare war.
201
00:12:00,550 --> 00:12:03,300
Your lead commander
is nowhere to be found.
202
00:12:03,800 --> 00:12:05,930
And how knoweth you that?
203
00:12:06,300 --> 00:12:08,470
Word travels fast in our sector.
204
00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:11,390
I do not give three bowls of stuffing
what sayeth you.
205
00:12:11,520 --> 00:12:14,400
We will take back control
of the stuffing mines.
206
00:12:14,520 --> 00:12:16,940
Then the Thanksgiving treaty
will be off.
207
00:12:17,110 --> 00:12:19,780
And I pray to stuffing
that you are wrong.
208
00:12:21,070 --> 00:12:23,610
Where are you, Miles Standish?
209
00:12:25,160 --> 00:12:27,950
And furthermore,
everything Kyle Broflovski said
210
00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:31,540
about Native Americans
being from outer space was untrue.
211
00:12:31,660 --> 00:12:33,540
Native Americans were brutalized,
212
00:12:33,660 --> 00:12:36,330
and David Sawitzski’s ancestors
deserve an apology!
213
00:12:36,460 --> 00:12:39,750
It was wrong
to mix aliens and real history!
214
00:12:40,050 --> 00:12:42,630
Have you seen that stuff
about the pyramids linked to Mars?
215
00:12:43,220 --> 00:12:45,010
There’s a guy with a gun here!
216
00:12:45,130 --> 00:12:47,430
There are lots of symbols
and signs out there
217
00:12:47,550 --> 00:12:49,430
that show aliens and history
are linked.
218
00:12:49,560 --> 00:12:51,720
– You don’t say.
– Will you guys stop?
219
00:12:52,100 --> 00:12:53,810
Just keep writing your apology!
220
00:12:55,480 --> 00:12:56,980
How now, Indian?
221
00:12:57,100 --> 00:12:59,650
Why hath thy race
sent me here to Earth?
222
00:13:03,820 --> 00:13:07,280
You Indians took me to thy planet,
and then cast me here!
223
00:13:07,410 --> 00:13:08,410
Why!
224
00:13:12,160 --> 00:13:15,410
Hath thou attacked our stuffing mines
and sent me here to die?
225
00:13:15,750 --> 00:13:17,000
Tell me, Indian!
226
00:13:17,790 --> 00:13:19,340
I’m only one-sixteenth!
227
00:13:19,670 --> 00:13:21,300
Hold your lying tongue!
228
00:13:21,590 --> 00:13:23,880
This shall prove
if thou arts Indian or not!
229
00:13:27,300 --> 00:13:28,390
He was not!
230
00:13:28,680 --> 00:13:29,800
I didn’t think so.
231
00:13:29,970 --> 00:13:33,850
I hath been told of your expertise,
Kyle of DeVry Institute.
232
00:13:34,230 --> 00:13:36,890
I need your wisdom
to get back to my planet.
233
00:13:39,560 --> 00:13:41,900
Into the wheeled chariot
that strucketh me!
234
00:13:42,070 --> 00:13:44,360
We must make haste to Cape Cod!
235
00:13:44,900 --> 00:13:46,530
– Who’s this?
– Natalie.
236
00:13:46,650 --> 00:13:47,570
Hi, guys!
237
00:13:49,280 --> 00:13:50,410
All right, sir,
238
00:13:50,530 --> 00:13:53,450
we got some more information
on the pilgrim who crashed to Earth.
239
00:13:53,910 --> 00:13:55,250
30 seconds after impact,
240
00:13:55,370 --> 00:13:57,750
he was hit by a truck,
and then put in the back seat.
241
00:13:57,920 --> 00:13:59,420
Who did the truck belong to?
242
00:13:59,540 --> 00:14:02,420
We believe it belonged
to Natalie Portman, sir.
243
00:14:02,750 --> 00:14:05,510
– The actress? That makes no sense.
– It gets worse.
244
00:14:05,630 --> 00:14:08,380
All the country
is reporting a shortage of stuffing.
245
00:14:08,510 --> 00:14:09,970
It’s not a coincidence.
246
00:14:10,090 --> 00:14:12,720
You’re telling me
that during a stuffing shortage,
247
00:14:12,850 --> 00:14:15,680
this pilgrim dropped down from space,
and got into a truck
248
00:14:15,810 --> 00:14:17,230
driven by Natalie Portman?
249
00:14:17,350 --> 00:14:19,900
If anyone knows about stuffing,
it’s Natalie Portman.
250
00:14:21,860 --> 00:14:24,190
We have to find Professor Broflovski.
251
00:14:24,320 --> 00:14:25,820
He was right about all of this.
252
00:14:26,190 --> 00:14:27,490
He’ll know what to do.
253
00:14:31,280 --> 00:14:33,450
We shall make camp here
for the night.
254
00:14:33,580 --> 00:14:36,040
On the morrow,
perhaps we can reach Cape Cod.
255
00:14:36,160 --> 00:14:38,370
And Thanksgiving may yet be saved.
256
00:14:41,250 --> 00:14:43,960
What is wrong
with Kyle of DeVry Institute?
257
00:14:44,090 --> 00:14:47,380
He’s pissed off he was wrong
about the whole ancient aliens thing.
258
00:14:49,510 --> 00:14:52,220
He seems almost like a puritan lady
259
00:14:52,340 --> 00:14:54,100
whose period hath stopped.
260
00:15:03,730 --> 00:15:07,280
I fear that you still do not know
who’s side to be on.
261
00:15:07,400 --> 00:15:08,440
No. I don’t.
262
00:15:08,610 --> 00:15:10,740
It must have been
very difficult for you.
263
00:15:10,860 --> 00:15:13,280
Being the one on your planet
with his wild theories
264
00:15:13,410 --> 00:15:15,530
that pilgrims and Indians
were aliens.
265
00:15:15,660 --> 00:15:17,950
I just said that sarcastically.
266
00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:23,040
Then you are
a remarkably gifted child.
267
00:15:25,460 --> 00:15:27,130
Here, let me show you.
268
00:15:27,590 --> 00:15:29,510
Your planet is one of the five.
269
00:15:29,970 --> 00:15:32,720
Plymouth, Indi, Colthenheim.
270
00:15:32,840 --> 00:15:34,760
And this one, nobody cares about.
271
00:15:35,050 --> 00:15:37,930
The five are connected
by a series of wormholes.
272
00:15:38,270 --> 00:15:41,230
My people came to your world,
and so did our enemies.
273
00:15:41,390 --> 00:15:44,980
But we made a treaty.
For 300 years, we have not fought.
274
00:15:45,650 --> 00:15:47,900
But now, that treaty is over.
275
00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:50,490
But I always read
that Native Americans were here,
276
00:15:50,610 --> 00:15:53,530
and the pilgrims and other settlers
took their lands from them.
277
00:15:53,820 --> 00:15:56,200
You can’t believe
what everyone tells you.
278
00:15:56,620 --> 00:15:58,080
You have to open your eyes.
279
00:15:58,410 --> 00:16:01,370
Soon, your wisdom will open
the wormhole back to Plymouth,
280
00:16:01,790 --> 00:16:03,710
and the stuffing mines
can again be ours.
281
00:16:04,380 --> 00:16:06,040
For he who controls the stuffing
282
00:16:06,460 --> 00:16:08,090
controls the universe.
283
00:16:10,760 --> 00:16:12,380
Hold it right there!
284
00:16:16,220 --> 00:16:19,060
We found Professor Broflovski.
He’s with the pilgrim!
285
00:16:20,720 --> 00:16:21,980
Stay back!
286
00:16:22,100 --> 00:16:24,730
I will get to Cape Cod
and cannot be stopped!
287
00:16:24,850 --> 00:16:26,980
Come, boys,
let us fight to the death!
288
00:16:27,150 --> 00:16:28,650
Wait! Stop!
289
00:16:29,270 --> 00:16:30,730
Please, Mr. Standish,
290
00:16:30,860 --> 00:16:32,650
we are all on the same side here.
291
00:16:32,820 --> 00:16:34,780
We know
why there’s a stuffing shortage.
292
00:16:34,910 --> 00:16:36,530
We want to get the wormhole open.
293
00:16:36,910 --> 00:16:38,700
I trust none but them!
294
00:16:39,030 --> 00:16:40,490
Indians hath betrayed us!
295
00:16:40,620 --> 00:16:43,410
I must return to Plymouth,
so my king can know the truth!
296
00:16:45,250 --> 00:16:46,630
We’re the History Channel.
297
00:16:47,250 --> 00:16:49,130
We care as much about the truth
as you do.
298
00:16:50,670 --> 00:16:53,420
Get us to Cape Cod
as soon as possible.
299
00:17:01,220 --> 00:17:03,980
My Lord, the battle is lost!
300
00:17:04,100 --> 00:17:08,270
We have tried to stop the Indians,
but yay they are too strong!
301
00:17:08,520 --> 00:17:10,860
Our last chance for survival is gone?
302
00:17:11,230 --> 00:17:12,320
Sorry, my Lord.
303
00:17:12,440 --> 00:17:15,320
All pilgrim forces sent to Indi
have been wiped out.
304
00:17:15,450 --> 00:17:17,660
And so soon the Indians will be here.
305
00:17:17,780 --> 00:17:19,160
Sound the corn horn!
306
00:17:19,280 --> 00:17:21,160
We must abandon Plymouth!
307
00:17:21,950 --> 00:17:24,330
The stuffing mines are ours!
308
00:17:29,670 --> 00:17:32,340
Earth is connected to Plymouth
by this wormhole here.
309
00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:35,470
Once I get back,
I will assemble my people to attack Indi
310
00:17:35,590 --> 00:17:37,590
and regain control
of the stuffing mines.
311
00:17:37,720 --> 00:17:41,100
If all goes as planned,
you’ll have stuffing for Thanksgiving.
312
00:17:41,350 --> 00:17:43,560
But, Mr. Standish,
I’m afraid it’s not that simple.
313
00:17:43,680 --> 00:17:47,310
We’ve tried to get the wormhole open
with this symbol, and it didn’t work!
314
00:17:48,600 --> 00:17:49,730
Of course not!
315
00:17:49,860 --> 00:17:51,480
You had the correct symbol,
316
00:17:51,610 --> 00:17:53,820
but you were missing
the keeper of the portal.
317
00:17:53,980 --> 00:17:55,150
The keeper of the…
318
00:17:55,280 --> 00:17:57,030
Of course!
Natalie Portman!
319
00:17:57,530 --> 00:17:59,490
We were wondering
what she had to do with this!
320
00:17:59,620 --> 00:18:01,530
Natalie Portman
controls the wormhole!
321
00:18:01,700 --> 00:18:03,490
Our window of opportunity is closing.
322
00:18:03,620 --> 00:18:05,500
The wormhole has to be opened now.
323
00:18:05,750 --> 00:18:08,870
Miss Portman,
we need you to open your wormhole!
324
00:18:14,130 --> 00:18:17,050
Miss Portman, you’ve got to open
your wormhole right now.
325
00:18:20,300 --> 00:18:21,890
Curses and cranberries!
326
00:18:22,010 --> 00:18:24,600
I must get to Plymouth now!
Do as they say!
327
00:18:27,020 --> 00:18:29,770
There has to be a way!
Where is our expert?
328
00:18:30,810 --> 00:18:34,190
– What do we do, Professor Broflovski?
– I’m not a professor.
329
00:18:34,530 --> 00:18:37,900
– The History Channel said you were!
– You are the History Channel!
330
00:18:39,490 --> 00:18:41,200
Kyle of DeVry Institute.
331
00:18:41,320 --> 00:18:44,540
There is no more time for squabble.
The universe is at stake.
332
00:18:44,790 --> 00:18:46,370
You knew everything else.
333
00:18:46,500 --> 00:18:48,580
You somehow knew about all of this!
334
00:18:48,710 --> 00:18:50,540
You knew it here.
335
00:18:50,920 --> 00:18:55,380
You know how to get Natalie Portman
to open her wormhole.
336
00:19:01,760 --> 00:19:04,300
You have any brothers or sisters?
337
00:19:04,600 --> 00:19:07,430
I had a lot of really close friends,
but not any brothers or sisters.
338
00:19:07,560 --> 00:19:08,890
I was an only child.
339
00:19:09,180 --> 00:19:10,190
Awesome.
340
00:19:10,480 --> 00:19:13,230
I have dual citizenship,
United States and Israel.
341
00:19:19,860 --> 00:19:21,240
So, dual citizenship,
342
00:19:21,660 --> 00:19:23,570
I never knew anyone that had that.
343
00:19:24,160 --> 00:19:26,410
I went to Harvard while I was acting.
I got a BA.
344
00:19:26,540 --> 00:19:28,750
But I did classes
at university of Jerusalem, too.
345
00:19:29,330 --> 00:19:30,330
Cool…
346
00:19:32,170 --> 00:19:33,500
Wanna order some dessert?
347
00:19:36,210 --> 00:19:38,880
– That was a lot of fun.
– It was cool.
348
00:19:42,720 --> 00:19:44,760
– Is there anyway you’d…
– What?
349
00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:47,260
You know, could you?
350
00:19:48,600 --> 00:19:50,230
Would you please
open your wormhole?
351
00:20:00,860 --> 00:20:02,070
Let’s go, folks!
352
00:20:03,910 --> 00:20:05,490
But just for a sec, though.
353
00:20:07,530 --> 00:20:09,540
Thank you, Kyle of DeVry Institute.
354
00:20:09,660 --> 00:20:12,410
Now, the Indians can be stopped,
and Thanksgiving will be saved.
355
00:20:13,330 --> 00:20:15,380
You’re welcome.
I’m sorry I doubted you.
356
00:20:15,630 --> 00:20:17,500
I’m sorry I acted like a know-it-all.
357
00:20:17,750 --> 00:20:18,920
We understand.
358
00:20:19,210 --> 00:20:22,130
We should all realize
that history and alien technology
359
00:20:22,260 --> 00:20:23,430
do go hand in hand.
360
00:20:25,800 --> 00:20:28,350
Now make way, children!
For I have a war to fight!
361
00:20:30,720 --> 00:20:31,810
For stuffing!
362
00:20:40,360 --> 00:20:41,990
Take all their stuffing!
363
00:20:43,610 --> 00:20:45,280
The treaty ends now.
364
00:20:45,450 --> 00:20:47,120
With the wormhole once again open,
365
00:20:47,240 --> 00:20:50,990
Miles Standish was able
to command the pilgrim armies.
366
00:20:51,250 --> 00:20:53,410
Now, attack their left flank!
367
00:20:53,710 --> 00:20:56,040
Good!
They’re retreating!
368
00:20:56,170 --> 00:20:58,380
Hit them with the anti-Indian device!
369
00:20:58,540 --> 00:21:00,250
The pilgrims fought off the Indians,
370
00:21:00,920 --> 00:21:03,260
making stuffing once again available
371
00:21:03,380 --> 00:21:05,630
on all our Thanksgiving tables!
372
00:21:07,970 --> 00:21:11,600
And now, you know the true story
behind Thanksgiving.
373
00:21:11,890 --> 00:21:14,020
There’s a lot about Thanksgiving
I never knew.
374
00:21:14,140 --> 00:21:15,310
History Channel rules.
375
00:21:15,730 --> 00:21:18,520
But was the first Thanksgiving
really just about
376
00:21:18,650 --> 00:21:20,520
pilgrims and Indians from space,
377
00:21:20,650 --> 00:21:22,190
or was there something more?
378
00:21:22,360 --> 00:21:23,860
Shocking new evidence suggests
379
00:21:23,990 --> 00:21:27,280
that the first Thanksgiving
might also have been haunted!
380
00:21:27,660 --> 00:21:29,160
There is certainly no evidence
381
00:21:29,280 --> 00:21:32,410
that the first Thanksgiving dinner
was not haunted.
382
00:21:32,660 --> 00:21:34,580
The pilgrims welcomed the Indians,
383
00:21:34,710 --> 00:21:38,380
but did they also unknowingly
welcome spirits from the grave?
384
00:21:40,790 --> 00:21:42,250
Come on!
28337
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