Original subtitles

A REAL WOMAN

What do we do now?

No problem, just play it with four strings.

No way! It can't be done, there's no way.

Let's get started. One, two...

A REAL WOMAN

How is that, Maria Jos�? How is that, Maria Jos�?

Your middle name is a man's name But your first is a woman's name

How's that? How's that? How's that? How's that?

Beautiful!

When she drinks...

She can beat anyone in a knife fight

But when the night comes, Maria Jos� But when the night comes, Maria Jos�

At home, perfumed, Very affectionate

She sniffs your neck and gives you a cuddle

How's that? How's that? How's that? How's that?

7-0-4-3-1-7

Hello!

Is this the Night Guard?

Couldn't you send some officers here

to put an end to a serenade?

How's that, Maria Jos�? How's that, Maria Jos�?

I'll explain...

Time to go all out!

How's that?

By day she's a man, By night she's a woman...

Damn it!

Come on!

Hello!

Is this the S�o Paulo Coast Guard?

Look, this is Joaquim.

From Oliveira, Oliveira & Oliveira Ltd.

They're ruining the water fountain in front of the building!

You can shoot the scoundrels. I'll pay for the bullets.

These bastards! Woke up the little child.

How's that, Maria Jos�?

How is that, Maria Jos�?

People are asking me if I married a man or a woman

The people complain: How's that?

Did you marry Maria or Jos�?

I'll explain...

How is that?

By day she's a man, By night she's a woman

Now I know how it is, Now I know how it is

This Maria is Jos�

By night it's Maria, by day it's Jos�

How is that? How is that? How is that? How is that?

Go Bamba, go Bamba!

What's going on? What do you mean?

Don't you know it's forbidden to serenade?

But the Constitution guarantees the right to speak.

Shut up!

I'm Brazilian, I'm in my homeland, it's my mouth, I'll talk as much as I want.

The Constitution guarantees freedom of speech.

That's right, Bamba!

Officer!

What's wrong?

Every night is a martyrdom in front of my business!

Bacalhau? What is it, Bamba?

Did you bring the tool for making corpses?

Not me, but Morma�o certainly did.

Morma�o?

How's that, Maria Jos�?

How's that, Maria Jos�?

Let's put an end to this! What about freedom of speech?

Stand up for us, Bamba!

Serenade is not speech, it's a shouting!

Bums!

Shameless!

I second that, officer!

Help me, people!

Go, Mustache!

Take that!

Jesus!

Here, officer!

Cut his face off, beat him up. Like that!

Oh, Jesus!

Oh, Jesus!

Get back inside!

Here I go!

Is this the Traffic Department?

Could you send some officers?

To divert the fight to another street?

Here I go!

Go to sleep, you bum!

What about quiet hours?

Honking is already forbidden downtown...

Fighting is not honking!

I've got you, you rascal.

But we don't handle fights.

Couldn't you just send a few firefighters to cool things off?

Let's go.

See you next time!

It's for you, Dr. Godoi.

Police?

Yes, I'm the hospital director.

Emergency room?

We'll do our best.

No papers?

Alias...

Bamba the Playboy.

Okay.

At your service, Dr. Godoi.

We have an urgent case coming in.

A certain Bamba the Playboy.

The police want us to take precautions. Yes, sir.

They warned us that he needs to be watched.

Yes, Doctor.

It's not just birds that fall into traps.

People do, too.

And it was here that fate set up its first snare.

I punched him hard in the face!

Oh! Sorry!

Why am I in a crib? You were injured in a fight.

Why am I wearing a cap? Get this off my head.

It's not a cap, they're bandages. You fractured your frontal bone.

Not me, I'm incapable of such a crime.

Don't you understand? You broke your head!

Oh, yes...

Where's my instrument? I think it was destroyed in the fight.

They took my instrument and hit me with it.

Well, you can get another one.

Oh, not like that one!

It was special. Inside were the words:

Never share your toothbrush, cavaquinho, or woman with anyone.

Look, I know what you mean.

I play too.

The cavaco?

Cu�ca?

Ganz�?

Tambourine? No.

Guitar.

What a shame that the cavaco died in the fight,

otherwise I would play a samba with you.

You're not going to poke me with that needle, are you?

Oh, it's just a tiny shot. It doesn't hurt at all.

Porcupines like needles.

Now, a brave man who fights the Coast Guard

is afraid of a little poke?

Skewers are for barbecue meat.

A quick, painless prick.

Do you promise it won't hurt? It'll be quick.

Why don't you take one so I can be sure it doesn't hurt.

Me? You're the one who needs it.

You've lost a lot of blood...

Don't be stubborn.

Come on...

Be nice.

All right.

Put it in!

So Am�lia, is he doing better?

Can he give a statement to the police?

I don't think so.

Couldn't the interrogation be postponed?

That's up to the Chief of Police.

In the state this man is, don't you think the interrogation will make him worse?

We'll see...

You're an angel! Don't talk.

You shouldn't talk.

They want to put me in jail. You're still far from that.

If I go to jail can I take a portrait of yours?

What for?

When I'm able to break into a chicken coop and steal some hens,

I'll send you the white ones.

You won't be stealing anything anymore.

Do you hear me? Yes, I will!

I came up with a great way to steal chickens.

It's my very own theory.

I came up with it myself.

You should become a respectable man.

Respect? Seriously?

Stop being silly.

I only like men who work. Work?

Working is for time sheets.

If I didn't work, who would be here to care for you?

See? That's why I say, working only breaks your heart.

My... darli...

Morma�o?

Shoot!

Is "darling" spelled with a Y?

I think it's with a W.

That's right.

My darling...

Am�lia.

Love...

is...

an animal...

that...

gnaws...

at you...

alone.

That's...

why...

I always...

feel...

your gaze...

your hot gaze...

making...

barbecue...

out of my heart...

Period, comma, and ellipsis.

She can choose whichever she wants.

After I get out...

if you want to...

shack up with me, I'll be there.

Jo�o da Silva

formerly known as Bamba the Playboy

Is that good? Great.

But you should add a postscript.

How am I going to add a post here?

Here, write this at the end of the letter:

"Bring the tools so we can escape,

because Morma�o and I don't have any Labia crop us.

It's just that...

Am�lia wants to...

I might actually mend my ways.

Ever seen a shoe sole turn back into an ox?

It's impossible.

Maybe I found the right path in the hospital.

In a few more days, I'll walk out of here and I'll do a small-time job;

I've already got a plan.

Maybe I'll start working when I get out of here.

Work? Yes.

Well, work doesn't kill.

But it mistreats. No!

No, now I'll be different. It's fate.

When I get out of here I'll...

S�O PAULO STATE PENITENTIARY

Best wishes out there. See you later, Bamba.

See you later? More like goodbye.

What's up, clown? You're the clown, you bum!

Go away, boy, because the doctor forbade me to fight.

We can't count on him anymore. He has changed.

It seems that the blow he took on the head turned his brains inside out.

He says he's going to work.

It's completely immoral...

He's loosing it.

And the worst thing is that he's getting married to a woman who is a nurse.

That's what I always say:

there are two kinds of people who are no good:

women and dog catchers.

Wow!

Look what the cat dragged in! What's up, you sorry bunch!

Let's sing the "Police March" for the groom?

He's going to hang himself He's going to hang himself

Bamba is getting married to the Maharajah's daughter

Can I have a word? Sure.

I have private business with Morma�o.

He's going to hang himself He's going to hang himself

Bamba is getting married to the Maharajah's daughter

What do you want? For me, a cup of tea.

Tea?!

What's wrong with you, man?

For me, two cold beers and a shot.

So, what's the job? Chickens?

No, no more robberies, only clean business from now on.

Look, man, only a laundress likes clean jobs.

Let's talk business somewhere else.

There are a lot of nosy people here.

Catherine arrived and shouted, Where's my samba?

What's up with your wig?

Catherine arrived and shouted, where's my samba?

Catherine arrived and shouted where's my samba?

He left. What's this about?

You know I need money to get married, so I had an idea.

Will we crack a safe? No, no safes.

The thing is, you have to date someone. Dating?

No way! You have to, old chap.

I don't need love!

On Brasil Avenue, there's a house with a pet dog...

What's wrong with you? Dog lovers are just like lampposts!

Morma�o, that cop is watching us.

Ask for the check, and we'll chat somewhere else.

Look, if the business I have in mind works,

we'll have a house to live in.

Business? You said you'd get a job.

I will.

I've even had a physical!

But where?

Several places.

Including the Fire Brigade.

Excuse me? What is it?

Are you not a regular at the Por�o de Ouro dance club?

I used to go there.

Now I only dance at the Caldeir�o de Prata.

I'm telling you, that's where I know you from.

I don't dance with gentlemen without being introduced to him first?

Oh, me? My name is Tort�lio 1,

2, 3 da Silveira 4,

aka, Morma�o.

And what's more, all the big shots around here know me.

Nice to meet you.

Could you tell me your name? Of course!

My name is Marlene Shirley da Silva Pinto.

Beautiful name!

Even sounds like a street name.

Shall we? Sure.

Honey, get me to heaven without kicking me.

I'll give you my wings, want them?

You won't! Yes, I will.

Announcement from the board of directors of Carnivalative, Biointegrative

and Picniclative association, Caldeir�o de Prata.

In fact, I ask you to observe its sub-statutes.

Article number one: it's strictly forbidden for ladies and gentlemen

to drink from the same bottle in the same ballroom.

Article two:

gentlemen members must show their membership cards

at the entrance.

The ladies don't have to show anything.

Article three: there isn't one!

Because a first-class association doesn't have third-class articles.

Understood? Understood!

What did he say, honey?

I don't know, but it was a beautiful speech.

So keep dancing.

Honey, you know I'm crazy about dogs?

What a beautiful love declaration!

Speaking of which, your boss has one that interests me.

It's the boss's favorite.

Did you know that a dog can make a man independent?

Explain that to me.

Look, you steal the dog and hide.

You give him to me, I'll fake his disappearance,

the old rag will cough up the money.

I'll play the good guy and the paper ends up in my pocket.

I've already placed an ad in the paper...

Oh God, I can't stand it.

Calm down, mum. Don't cry, don't cry!

Read the paper: a 50,000 cruzeiros reward...

Huh?

Oh, my little Jiqui...

PET DOG. LOST

"A dark-colored Pekingese with long fur and a gold and ruby collar"

Man, 50k is a lot of money.

Well done, Morma�o.

The problem now is that the gal is in love and wants to marry me.

Imagine that! So what?

Am I not getting married too?

My friend, marry and have sons and daughters!

Don't forget these words.

Look!

Looks like Jiqui...

That's him!

That's my Jiqui, my love!

Come to mommy!

Women in love with dogs?

There's a lot going on in this government...

We have to split it equally, okay?

Not way, the idea alone is worth half the money.

How much is the dating worth?

The ruby collar? That's nothing...

Well, I'll take 25,000 for the idea.

Then we'll split the other 25,000 by three.

10,000 for me, 10,000 for the maid and 5,000 for you.

Can't I give her $500 and keep the rest? That's up to you.

Don't pay her if you don't want to.

Hey, have a pre-party gathering. No, she'd denounce us.

We'll look bad to the board of the club.

Then do as you please.

FIRE DEPARTMENT 2ND ZONE

We're late? Late is cool.

You go ahead, make the people wait.

Okay.

MARRIAGE REGISTRY

Jo�o da Silva, do you take Am�lia de Oliveira as your lawful wedded wife?

I do.

Am�lia de Oliveira, do you take Jo�o da Silva as your lawful wedded husband?

Yes.

Congratulations, Bamba! Congratulations on the hanging!

May you have many happy returns!

Now that you are married, beans are so expensive...

Will you sign as a witness?

I don't care. If you'd like to sign for me, go ahead.

How about you? I can't. I don't know how to type.

A...me...me...

...lia.

Am�lia

Am�lia has a ball

The ball belongs to Am�lia

Am�lia has a ball and the ball is called the world

Who makes this world go round Is the man she loves

Am�lia suffered a lot She has a lot of human experience

-So you could say... Good morning, neighbor Joana

Good morning, my neighbor Good morning, neighbor Joana

Am�lia has a nice house In a beautiful neighborhood

People never get tired of gossiping about her life.

But even so, she lives on With pleasure and joy

That's why everyone says...

The kitten is Maria's.

Am�lia has a kitten

The kitten is Am�lia's

Am�lia plays house And plays wedding

Her big boy Is so much fun

Am�lia plays with fire With her heart, she plays shuttlecock

-But what she wants the most... - Mom, give me a doll.

Finished? Yes.

What I don't understand are these darn verbs.

I'll get you some coffee.

Your coffee is delicious...

Let's take a look at the verbs.

Verb...

to drill.

Present tense.

Let's go.

I...

I drill.

You dr...

You drills.

You drill.

He...

He...

dreals... No, dear.

Oh! I'm tired of Portuguese!

Let's speak Brazilian.

Your neck smells so good!

You know that subject well, don't you?

The teacher is good...

Good!

Now let me go, I have to go to the hospital.

Always the hospital.

Every time you go to the hospital, I'm the one who gets sick.

I need a nurse's cuddle.

You're on call today too.

Melinha!

You forgot your purse.

Dearie, don't take too long, okay? See you later, my Bamba!

No, my little Jo�o of your Am�lia!

A Nurse's Love.

A soap opera sponsored by Novo Laborat�rio...

The fever is gone. I know.

But keep your little hand on my forehead.

This is so good... Careful, the fever may come back.

It's a different kind of fever now.

It's passion fever.

Stay still. It's time for your shot.

What?

An empty needle?

You're to blame for this distraction.

I'm glad...

Medicine for me is a nurse's kiss.

Is this medication taken orally?

No, Aunt Vivi.

I've already had the shot.

She was examining my eyes.

What you need is...

a sedative.

You've been crazy about nurses since you were a boy.

Remember your crush for that Swiss girl when I got sick in Geneva?

All set.

Go on, Lauro. Take the medicine.

It's tasty...

Quickly.

There, now you'll get better.

He's always had issues with medicine.

To get him to drink castor oil, the babysitter's son

had to take 5 or 6 spoonfuls first, before he made up his mind.

And cough syrup?

He'd cover himself up to his eyeballs with it

before taking it.

Come on, Aunt Vivi... That's right, I know.

When your mother died, you had chickenpox for seven months, so...

Mrs. Am�lia has heard this story before. That's true, I...

How is our patient?

He's better, thanks to God and my patience

because, if it were up to him, he wouldn't take any medication.

He really is well!

No fever, everything is normal.

Now we need to avoid complications. That's the hard part, Dr. Godoi,

because Lauro is very extravagant...

Here, under the nurse's care, he won't be able to do anything extravagant.

Precisely, Doctor, I think... My problem is I'm hungry.

This diet...

makes me want to eat feijoada,

pizza, mocot�...

Oh!

Just what we needed!

He must strictly follow the prescribed diet.

Yes, doctor.

But, Doctor... Mrs. Vivi...

I don't know how else to distract him.

He insists on the nurse's medicine.

These patients who only take the medicines they want to...

Look, Gleides, do you want some advice?

Don't waste your time.

if I were you, I'd dress up as a nurse.

Aunt Vivi, Gleides has many boyfriends.

Yes, and they all think I'm rich because of auntie.

My feet are cold. I'll bring you a hot water bottle.

Do you want anything else?

Of course, he does, but we're here keeping watch.

We'll look after him, you can go.

And we don't use the same medication

that nurses usually use

when they are alone with their patients.

Do you want me to read your fortune, ma'am? Come in.

Cut it with your left hand.

The rich man,

that must be me.

The soldier is Bamba.

An evil woman...

I see two men in your life.

Two houses, two rings.

Everything doubled? Everything doubled.

What else?

Two gifts.

A treacherous woman.

Aunt Vivi.

Are you always this cheerful?

What do you do when you're not working at the hospital?

When I'm not working?

I...think.

Of me? No, I think...

reading.

Do you like to read? Oh, it's my passion.

And what do you read? Everything.

But I prefer romantic novels.

Have you read "The Constant Nymph"?

The novel?

Not yet.

I'll be back in a minute.

"Eros Fell Off the Streetcar" "Romeo's Juliet"

"Diary of a Virgin" "The Constant Nymph"

What's this?

It's a little gift I got from a patient.

Let's see it.

Wow! I've never seen so many books together!

Leave that for later.

Let's have some coffee.

To me...

my sweet nu...

urs...

nurse

from...

...Lauro.

Who is the punk who gave you this book?

Punk?

Haven't I already forbidden you from using slang?

Who is this idiot?

Change your tone or I won't answer.

Who is this... Watch it!

He's an old man...

whom I treated.

He was very grateful.

An old man, is he? Yes, he is.

Does he need to say "sweet nurse"?

Come on, Jo�o, each person shows their gratitude differently.

But not by saying "sweet"!

You were so grateful that even wanted to marry me!

But I wasn't grateful, I was in love!

Do you need to be this jealous?

Is he really old? I already said he is.

Dr. Lauro. Lauro...

Is Lauro an old man's name?

Do you think old age chooses names?

Stop being jealous.

When I'm promoted to corporal, you'll leave that hospital,

with " emergency".

It's urgency, darling.

Didn't you understand? I did.

Then don't torture me.

On the last day of my life I was faced with my sins

Some major, some minor But, in general, quite heavy

On the other side, there was only The ingratitude I suffered

The angel tipped the scales And dressed in white, I went up

I went up in white!

Now I only play the harp In a nightgown and sandals

I peek down to see The gang in the furnace

That ingrate is now Working as sausage

Skewered on a fork And Satan frying pizza

The Devil doesn't mess around!

On the last day of my life I was faced with my sins

Some major, some minor, But, in general, quite heavy...

Any fire in sight?

Apologize for a mistake?

Well, I let it slide this time.

Well, madam...

With a voice like that,

you have the right to be mistaken.

You can keep making mistakes, okay?

Who am i?

The owner of the Fire Department. Drop dead, you pervert!

Morma�o, do you think Lauro is an old man's name?

What a question!

I know an old man called Ant�o.

What about Lauro?

I also know an old man called Modesto,

Clarimundo, Zequi�...

That's right.

Why do you ask? No reason.

Let's turn the radio on.

It's time for Amelinha... Yes!

To end the competition organized by the soap opera "Nurse's Love",

we will give the prize to the winner, nurse Am�lia de Oliveira.

Here she is,

we interviewed her at the hospital where she works.

Fellow listeners, good evening!

Mrs. Am�lia, are you married or single?

Single.

Hospital regulation doesn't allow married nurses.

And what are you going to do with the prize offered by our laboratory?

- Well... - Answer, Mrs. Am�lia.

- I haven't thought about it yet. - Very well, Mrs. Am�lia!

Hello!

Yes? What?

47 Palha Street?

We're on our way.

Where is the fire? It's not a fire, sir,

it's a water shortage on Palha St.

They're asking for a water truck.

Anything? The film is over.

I'm not doing very well.

Did you get any sleep? Not at all...

Try to get some sleep.

I've been thinking for lately,

"What if I married Am�lia?"

According to the regulation, the hospital...

does not allow married nurses.

But you could be my private nurse after the wedding.

Stop talking, don't tire yourself, try to get some sleep.

Would you like something to help you sleep? To sleep? Yes.

I'll get the injection. I don't want any injections, I want you!

There are no free samples of this medicine.

Haven't you noticed that the film is over?

The driver took Gleides to her uncle's house,

and I've been waiting for a taxi for an hour.

So, how are you feeling? Not very well, auntie.

Excuse me.

But why? You were feeling so good this morning.

Yes, well...

I can't get her out of my mind.

Oh, that's because you don't have any distractions.

She doesn't care about me.

And you couldn't find a way even in the dark?

It's still acceptable for you to like her,

but she turns you down just to provoke you.

Maybe.

In any case, I have a plan.

Please be reasonable, or I'll take you out of this hospital.

Please, Aunt Vivi.

Gleides is the woman for you.

Marriage is something personal...

Tomorrow Gleides will spend the afternoon with you.

Good evening, Dr. Godoi. I'm in a hurry, okay?

Sit here, Doctor. Sure.

You're a friend of the family, almost a relative.

Aunt Vivi will push me to Gleides...

But I don't see... Listen.

Good morning! Good morning!

Dr. Godoi asked you to go to his office as soon as you arrived, it's urgent.

I'll be right up. Thanks.

Come in!

The patient in room 34 is dying...

But he was doing so well when I left him yesterday!

A serious relapse.

I can't believe he'll make it through the night.

Am�lia, I know you won't deny a favor to a dying man.

He expressed one last wish.

To marry you.

Marry me? Yes.

But Doctor, I am... Nurse, I know.

But no one will know.

I've even called the judge! But you can't!

You want to do this charity, don't you? It's a crime, Doctor.

But no one will know.

And if the board found out, they would agree,

they'd make an exception.

This is a man who is going to die.

Let's go!

But it's not possible, Doctor! Let's go before it's too late, let's go!

We can start. Proceed.

On the 11th day of October, 1954...

In the city of S�o Paulo...

Sometimes she'd starve by my side

And thought it was nice not having anything to eat

And when she saw me upset

She'd say: "My dear, what can we do?"

Am�lia had no vanity

Am�lia was a real woman

Lauro de Toledo Parma,

is it of your own free will

to take as your lawful wedded wife Miss Am�lia de Oliveira?

Yes.

Miss Am�lia de Oliveira, is it of your own free will

to take as your lawful wedded husband Lauro de Toledo Parma?

Yes, yes, yes....

Yes.

Very well.

Sign here.

Go ahead.

Thank you.

What happened here? A wedding.

What?

A wedding?

But what kind of catastrophe is this? Since when is marriage a catastrophe?

And you are complicit in this catastrophe?

Oh, poor little patient.

Married to a...

nurse.

They're calling, Doctor. I've got to go. Okay.

She won the round, but the fight isn't over.

For starters, I'm going to annul the will.

Let's go!

The patient in room 34? He's much better!

That's not possible, he was in agony when I left.

He's out of danger now. No, I'm talking about Dr. Lauro.

That's right, from room 34, he is doing well.

My God, now what?

But isn't it better that patients get better?

Not that one.

You assured me that he would die. What can I do?

Now what? What am I going to do? Nobody will know anything.

And with the fortune that Lauro has, there's no need to be afraid.

But was the wedding real?

Was it legal? Of course!

And go to room 34 quickly because the boy keeps calling for you.

Now I'm in trouble.

I feel as miserable as a can tied to a dog's tail.

Dr. Lauro. My wife.

Tell me, was all this staged?

All of it.

Except the wedding, which was real.

Why did you do that? Because...

Because I had no choice. What right did you have?

None. And you think that's okay?

When...

When you're in love, it's right to be crooked.

How do you plan to make this right?

It's very easy.

A honeymoon, a trip...

Venice...

The two of us in a gondola...

The moonlight... Never!

I couldn't leave my position as a nurse at this hospital.

Don't say that, my love. Do you think I'll forgive you?

Between us, there will be no...

Don't say things that you may regret later.

I'll do anything to make you the happiest woman in the world.

It's just that...I made a promise.

Did you vow to serve the sick?

Only then would I accept the current situation.

It will be as you wish.

But that's a shame.

What if we went to the Vatican to ask the Pope?

No Pope, no gondola, nothing.

I'll stay right here in the hospital.

You are responsible for this situation,

so you're not fit to invoke the regulation.

In your social position, any nurse would leave the service.

I like the job, and I must continue.

With my temperament, I couldn't bear to stay idle.

To make things easier, I could take the substitutes' shift.

How many shifts do you want to take?

I'd like to work during the other nurses' days off.

Once a week on the 12-hour shift.

Naturally, after I get back from vacation.

Thy will be done.

And enjoy your vacation.

I wish you all the best in the future.

Frankly, I can't accept this situation.

Come on, Aunt Vivi.

I thought you were an aristocrat, but not snob.

And deep down you hate being snobbish.

Would you rather I got married to Julieta Castro Neves?

God forbid, that one looks a Christmas tree!

Not even to...

Don't put me on the list, I'm here.

No, no, no, not you. You can't.

Stand still for the portrait.

I prefer a whiskey.

No, Lauro, you'll drink orange juice.

No, no, no!

What's wrong with him?

And now there's a problem.

You're not going to leave, are you?

Oh, Aunt Vivi, when you get married, you want a home.

Well, I'm going to see the portrait.

I already have a place for you two.

It's the Trememb� farm.

Thanks, auntie, but it's too far.

Am�lia insists on working at the hospital.

Hospital?

Work?

God forbid, such nonsense!

Only rich people work nowadays.

She insists.

She softened when I promised she could keep working.

No smoking!

Very lifelike... Isn't it?

How are you, Am�lia? Hello.

The way things are going, Am�lia, you'll end up providing for Lauro.

It's time for your pill, my darling.

My darling, if I had your eyes, I'd start a headlight factory.

You're so poetic today, sweetie!

But that's what I like. I only like poets and chauffeurs.

A whiskey for you, For me, prohibition.

It's time.

We need to leave.

My whiskey. I'll make you another one.

I mean, we need to move.

I was talking to Aunt Vivi about that.

Let's move soon. What's the rush, Am�lia?

An Old Fashioned for me, Lauro.

Aren't you all right here?

It's just that I've always dreamed of an apartment...

Honey, I think they're going to increase my shift at the hospital.

Increase? Yes, there seems to be a nursing crisis,

so they're going to increase my shift to 48 hours.

You mean you're going to be a wife every 48 hours.

But it's temporary.

As soon as they hire more nurses...

No way! What do you mean, no way?

This is the way.

Do you think a man gets married to stand in line?

And when there's a fire? Don't I wait two days for you sometimes?

Two days?

Not even Nero's fire lasted two days.

Wow Jo�o! You're becoming quite cultured, huh?

And culture is the greatest asset of the spirit.

And you should know that the commander said

that a firefighter's mission has no reward.

Neither does a nurse's.

You should stand your ground at the hospital. How?

If I can't even say that I'm married.

Just stand your ground.

Even a corpse goes soft when it finds someone to carry it.

Why don't you stand your ground at the Fire Department?

You're right.

Let's not discuss it any further.

You won't be angry with me anymore, will you?

One day, I'll invent a hose that can put out the fire in your eyes.

I told him, no capitone in the decoration of the apartment.

I'd prefer it to be more...

Imagine that the slob wanted a pink carpet.

Your other hand, please.

Marcel, you have such good taste, how about a chaudron rug?

Chaudron?

Everything will be functional.

The bed is made of plastic and the chairs are egg-shaped.

When we sit down, they move all in every direction.

Just like a roller coaster.

But what I really like is good taste.

The thing is, everything needs to be ready, quick.

The curtains are made of nylon with existentialist drawings.

And I...

That neck sure smells good!

Just don't mess up my hair. Girl, you look expensive!

It's this colleague of mine who is very good at doing hair.

If you were dessert, I'd eat you before the soup!

New dress! Do you really like the dress?

New shoes, new smell.

You don't need any of that, baby.

I've been stuck on you for a long time.

You're a real vegetable.

Not a vegetable, a filet mignon!

You know, my dear, today is my night shift.

The labor laws are wrong.

They should give a week off every month

to people who are in love.

What would I do with two weeks off every month?

Two weeks? Did I say two?

You're right, honey.

You like me twice.

Your love is twofold.

I haven't danced for so long.

I can't even dance anymore.

You don't need to dance.

You just have to hold me,

grab me, hug me...

Another sip?

To your happiness on your birthday!

But it's not my birthday today.

It's on the 28th, it's in four days.

It doesn't matter.

Let's star celebrating now.

What a beauty!

For me, Lauro?

To your happiness on your birthday

That neck sure smells good!

If you were dessert, I'd eat you before the soup!

Good morning, ma'am!

Want to trade for a pair of stockings, ma'am?

No, give me the receipt.

How much for the ring, ma'am?

They say it's worth 10 thousand, but I don't want anything.

It's just for safekeeping.

Can I have the receipt quickly? Of course.

Funny, just to keep it here, huh?

Don't you don't want us to keep the receipt too?

What a beautiful safe you have!

This hospital thing is strange.

I'm even about to ask to Dr. Godoi...

She works because she likes it.

Son, nobody works as a volunteer,

everyone who goes to work is summoned.

But Am�lia is different from the people you know.

What I know is that nobody works, unless they need to.

A call for Dr. Lauro.

Would you like to take it here? No. I'll go there.

An electric bill?

Jo�o da Silva.

Rua da Virgem, no number.

Jo�o?

The same name?

What's that, Aunt Vivi? It's...

make-up.

But isn't that Am�lia's purse?

It's just that it looked so nice, I couldn't help it.

Aunt Vivi, Aunt Vivi...

Poor Lauro. As Hamlet said,

"Something is rotten in the state of Denmark."

Listen, you'll do as I say.

Excuse me. What's wrong?

I'm with the utility company. Are you here to help me?

I came to cut off the power.

Why? Failure to pay.

But we've already paid.

Do you want to see the bill?

Hey, Melinha! I'm here.

Our friend came to cut off the light.

Didn't you pay the bill?

I think so. Where's the bill?

I think it's in my purse. Where's the purse?

The purse...

I forgot it at the hospital You're getting more and more distracted!

I didn't mean to, I forgot.

That's why the man came to cut off the power.

We can't forget these things, you have to remember them.

There you go, nagging me again.

I also have the right to forget.

Don't answer back to me, I wear the pants in this house.

You know what? Go lick a soap!

I can't...

We've run out of soap. My wife isn't like that, no way!

She does what I say or else!

What can I do? I just got married.

You have to teach the chick to lay eggs in the nest.

Is that so? Spank her, old man, spank her!

Mine also started to think she could order me around.

I gave her three beatings and a slap... No mother-in-law?

No... Me neither.

Early in the morning, three slaps for breakfast!

And they get better?

They get soft as a child's prayer.

Got it.

Hey, buddy, what about the power?

Look, since you're a fellow sufferer,

I'll delay it until tomorrow.

Just pay your bills, all right?

Thanks, buddy!

Hey!

Come have a drink with me!

Just follow the recipe: three in the morning.

And if that doesn't work, three in the afternoon too.

So, did they cut off the power?

Power, what power?

What's that on the record player, Chopin?

Who is Jo�o da Silva? I prefer modern music.

Where is Virgin Street, no number? What?

It was all in your purse.

That's just what I needed.

Who's been snooping around in my purse?

It wasn't me, it was Aunt Vivi.

She wanted lipstick and... Right...

And she found an electricity bill, final notice, pay it or...

Well, honey,

it's a bill a coworker asked me to pay.

And the wedding ring with the inscription "Jo�o da Silva"?

The same coworker asked me to have it enlarged.

Lauro, don't you trust me?

These things are so strange...

Aunt Vivi was very suspicious.

But did I marry you or Aunt Vivi?

I think it was me.

Everything's fine, but I want to see the ring.

I want to see how the ring looks on you.

It's special it belonged to my sister-in-law Elvira, Lauro's mother.

You're not wearing it? No, I left it at the hospital.

Did you forget the ring?

Let's call them straight away.

No, you don't have to.

I'll get it tonight.

Is it in storage? The ring? It is.

Did you enjoy your vacation? A lot, thank you.

They've been phoning you a lot.

Me?

A lot? Yes.

Sometimes a man's voice, sometimes a woman's...

The woman is funny.

She wants to know if you really work here and asks to call you...

Who could it be? I don't know, an authoritative voice.

Is nurse Am�lia de Olveira there? Aunt Vivi!

I don't know. They even asked who Jo�o da Silva was!

And what do you tell them?

According to the rules, we can't call the nurses.

We can't give out any information about the nurses.

Thank you!

What's this?

A pawn receipt for a diamond ring worth...

A colleague asked me to keep it for her.

I have a bad feeling about this.

Listen, don't you trust me?

Well, I mean...

So why all this talk?

Give me the receipt.

Look, don't be angry with me.

PAWN RECEIPT

You're not going to be mad at me on the day before my birthday, are you?

No! I even saved some money to give you a gift!

But it's so hard to choose...

What do women wear?

All I want from you is... A lunchbox?

No, my love.

Don't worry.

I'll give you something nice.

A meat grinder.

With this curved part, you - I mean, your wife -

will have no trouble vacuuming under the furniture.

And plugging this thing into the outlet won't interfere with the radio?

No, sir, that won't be a problem.

You can help him, I'm in no hurry. Me neither, take your time.

It won't take long.

Are you taking the appliance? It depends.

Do women like this?

You know how it is, right? It's my wife's birthday.

Oh, yes.

It's a present I want to give her.

I see.

It makes housework easier. It's very practical.

If it's like she says, it's worth it.

Yes, indeed.

My wife will be delighted with this gift.

I'm also hoping to make my wife happy.

The gift is for your one-and-only? Yes, for her birthday.

Well, housework is tough.

Sometimes, I have to do it. My wife works, you know?

It's like that at my house too.

I can't complain. Me neither.

I'm not married, but vacuum cleaners help single people a lot.

You know what? I don't want this.

My wife will think I only get her stuff for the house.

Don't worry, I'll look for something else.

Man...

on second thought, me too.

Sorry.

Good afternoon. At your service.

What can I do for you?

Those platinum rings... Of course.

Neat!

Studded with small diamonds.

Look, I want one with an initial, the letter A.

Interesting, my wife has the same initial.

Engraving takes no time at all, just a moment.

It's funny, two men buying presents...

For their wives who have the same birthday and the same initials.

Here she is.

Interesting.

She looks so much like mine.

She's mine. I left her picture at home.

Here you go, they're engraved.

How much? I forgot to ask the price.

Two thousand cruzeiros each. Two thousand?

I don't think that's enough.

I wanted to pay in installments.

If you'll excuse me, I'll make up the rest.

Not even Santa Claus is that friendly.

ONE CANNOT SERVE TWO MASTERS AT THE SAME TIME

You're sure that this is Virgin Street?

Yes, Vivi.

But none of the houses have numbers!

Oh, Dom, I've forbidden you to open my purse.

I was just wondering what time it was.

Melinha!

Open the door.

Melinha, open the door!

The milk!

I'm so happy to see you!

What's wrong?

This time it's her... The door, Melinha!

Isn't your fireman at home? He is.

Then I don't get it. Go away, you shameless brat.

Happy birthday to you,

Happy birthday to you,

Happy birthday, dear Am�lia,

Happy birthday to you!

They say spilling milk is good luck.

Oh, Jo�o, why such a sacrifice?

You're more than worthy! Deserving.

I have to get ready for the hospital. But... not even on your birthday?

You have to work too, honey.

Work...

Today is a holiday, not a fire day.

Happy birthday, Am�lia! Happy birthday!

Thank you. Thank you.

Here's the cake that you ordered.

All right.

I think something is missing.

Put a fireman and a little nurse on it.

And happy is spelled with an "I".

Excuse me.

Mrs. Vivi's first husband was a Portuguese wine importer.

Very rich!

Aunt Vivi has a nose for rich husbands!

Then there was an aristocrat from S�o Paulo, Gleides' uncle.

And she got the 400-year craze.

Mrs. Vivi got married into the most traditional family.

Filthy rich.

Yes, but uncle gambled everything away.

Then Mrs. Vivi recovered her wealth with her third and last husband,

an industrial from Pernambuco, Lauro's uncle.

Did you take a good look at Lauro's wife?

Did you, Baby?

I don't know why Lauro married a...

And that dress is in such bad taste.

What a beautiful dress, Am�lia.

It's a new model that Madame Jaqueline brought from Paris.

Oh, I don't know, Doctor.

Actually, I only go to the hospital in the mornings.

But you didn't find out if she's really working there?

I can find everything out.

It's midnight already, people.

It time to blow out the candles!

Lauro, Am�lia looks beautiful. Such an elegant dress.

Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday, my darling, Happy birthday to you!

Best wishes! Good night.

See you later. See you later.

I have to go, Lauro.

My shift at the hospital has already started.

Just a little bit longer, dear... I'm already late.

It's absurd to abandon your party because of the hospital.

Duty above all!

It's true, but I'm tired of duty.

What? What's she saying?

Are you going to the hospital?

I'm coming too. I'll take you myself, Am�lia.

There's no need to bother, Aunt Vit�ria. I...

No, I'm coming with you. I'll go with her.

Dom, to the hospital. Yes, madam.

Bye-bye. Goodbye, darling.

Hey, you're here? At this hour?

You're not on call.

It's just that...

I forgot something in the lounge.

You forgot, huh?

So, are we staying here forever?

Dom, have a little patience.

Now, don't bother me. Vivi, let's go.

I'm hungry, sleepy...

Could you call me a taxi? Sure.

Happy birthday

Light of my eyes!

You sure do deserve a beating.

Oh, honey, it was an urgent surgery.

I'll set that hospital on fire some day.

It was a difficult case, it took a long time.

And I was waiting for you like an abandoned mutt.

Cut the cake for you've already cut out my heart.

You were so good to me,

you sacrificed so much to give me the ring...

I haven't paid for it entirely yet.

You bought it in installments? No.

When I was at the vacuum store, a really nice guy came in

and helped me.

He bought one just like it for his wife.

Yes.

Yes.

He's out, Gleides.

I wanted to invite you to

the Three Surprises Ball.

It's going to be right here, at Aunt Vivi's.

Oh, I see. Baby organized everything.

He invited Marina Marinelli

Who? The new national movie star.

Apparently, she doesn't speak a word of Portuguese.

All right, I'll let Lauro know.

I'm counting on you.

Bye-bye!

"Gasdastrophic" fire.

Violent fire destroys skyscraper in Copacabana.

In the early hours, a resident

of the luxurious apartments of the Tranquility Building,

the maids being absent,

needed to iron one of her dresses,

and switched on the electric iron for this purpose."

Look at that, Guizado?

She certainly went for a walk and left the iron on.

Is that right?

Ten minutes, I'll drop Gleides off and will be right back.

Everyone has left.

The building is empty.

I'm going to get my wife.

Let go of me!

My wife is...

Let me go, let me go!

That's her!

Get the ladder.

Hang on, I'm going up.

Attention listeners!

Risking his own life

the firefighter climbs up to rescue the woman in the apartment.

Give me the hook ladder.

Hurry!

How slow! Let go!

Go on, go on!

Here he comes, carrying the unconscious woman on his shoulder.

Boldly, the fireman begins to descend the ladder.

Don't let go!

Let go of my pants, I didn't come prepared!

Let go, please!

Oh dear. I'm going to shake you off.

Am�lia, Am�lia, honey.

Are you all right, darling?

Here I come!

...we here at the building

where a huge fire broke out on Avenida Higien�polis.

To describe it to our listeners, the moving scene of

the woman who was rescued...

Thank you so much! Santa Claus, my friend!

Now the firefighters are delivering support.

The flames are practically confined to their initial focus point.

But we want to make a special note

of the heroic fireman, Jo�o da Silva, who succeeded,

by risking his own life,

in saving a woman who has just been identified:

Mrs. Am�lia de Toledo.

HEROIC FIREMAN SAVES HIGH SOCIETY WOMAN

Soldier 1385, Jo�o da Silva,

is promoted to the rank of corporal for an act of bravery.

You have my eternal gratitude.

"Heroic act by firefighter Jo�o da Silva."

"Violent fire in elegant building.

Fire soldier saves socialite."

You're a great man, huh?

You're the man of the day. That's nothing, darling.

I want to be your man of the day...

and of the night.

Lauro insists on changing one of the surprises.

Are you enjoying yourselves?

It's a lively little party, isn't it?

I'll have one, thank you.

You know, Baby, I think these movie people are so weird.

She looks like she's on her wedding day.

My friends, now for surprise number two.

Music, please.

Baby Swing, or even better, Ivan�!

Look how beautiful Baby looks...

Didn't I tell you people would love her?

Finally, the third surprise.

None other than, my friends,

a true hero!

But where is the hero?

Here he is now!

This is Am�lia's savior. Ah, he's lovely.

And now the savior, and Am�lia, who owes him her life.

Am�lia, where is Am�lia?

Do you want to dance with me?

My gosh!

And Am�lia? Where is Am�lia?

I think she's resting. She's still in shock.

But she was just here, talking to me...

Jiqui...

Jiqui, sniff.

Go!

Find out where she is, Jiqui.

Am�lia!

Am�lia!

Am�lia!

Everyone left.

Is the party over? It is. Aren't you going home?

Good night! Good night, Am�lia!

No, I'm not going.

Dom!

Take Jiqui.

She's not here. Let's go!

Hang on, I'll check upstairs.

If Jiqui couldn't find her, she wasn't there.

Am�lia? I know where she is.

Look at this...

You need some very bitter coffee.

There's nobody up there. I know where Am�lia is.

You again, kid?

Come on!

Oh! She's here!

Melinha...

What's she doing here? My wife?

Yours? She is my wife!

Let me go.

Let go of me, let go.

I'll give you the electricity man's recipe later.

Beating, a real beating.

And you, young man, let's take this outside.

This is cowardice. This is cowardice.

My friends, Am�lia just forgot something.

I'll take care of this little misunderstanding.

What's going on? Oh, you found Am�lia.

A WIFE AND TWO HUSBANDS HIGH SOCIETY SCANDAL

AM�LIA WANTS THEM BOTH

Here's the thing, you see,

his woman is behind bars.

Because after she got married, she found another man.

I know, I read it in the papers.

But do you think you can win this case?

Well, let's see.

Because what he wants, Doctor, is to keep her, got it?

Yeah, because we're close.

As soon as he found himself in trouble, we showed up.

Who's going to pay for the costs of the lawsuit?

I am, Doctor.

If you're going to defend her, I'll pay whatever you ask.

I told my legal advisers,

the Toledo Parmas have never lost a case.

But auntie, you fought so hard against their marriage!

A divorce is enough! No divorce, no nothing!

But haven't you been divorced 3 times? It's not the same.

Everything that comes into my family is my property.

Our motto is: "Bad, but mine."

Poor Lauro.

When the Toledos invaded the countryside, the indians they imprisoned

were branded with a "T".

Family property.

That nurse has our "T". She's our property.

I don't give a damn. That's right.

Look, it's Jiqui.

Give me Jiqui, come here, beautiful.

Don't mind the scum, Jiqui!

I've always said that rich women only like dogs and...

Marlene, you're fired!

Boss and biscuits are found anywhere.

Especially snakes like you.

That's absurd! Unbelievable!

Honey, you put them in their place! Naturally.

You showed them your skin is black but your actions are white.

We could get her out of here doing things our way.

That's right, Bamba.

When she arrives, we make a scene,

Morma�o robs the guards and she gets away!

No way.

This will only cause trouble for us, firefighters, and for her too.

Yes, but rest assured that my name isn't Vit�ria for no reason!

I'm to blame.

We didn't know she was married.

My testimony is null.

Darling, give them a hard time in there.

Stay strong.

Name? Am�lia de Oliveira.

Do you acknowledge you have been married twice to different men?

Yes, Mr. Judge, I... Only yes or no answers.

Do you acknowledge you've married twice?

Mr. Judge, I needed... A phenomenon!

She needed two husbands.

Wait your turn to question the defendant.

Did you get married to Jo�o da Silva first?

Yes, sir.

And did you marry Lauro Toledo Parma afterwards?

Yes, sir.

The defendant acknowledges she got married twice.

Permission to question the defendant, Your Honor.

When you married Lauro Toledo Parma and went to live with him,

did you know that was a crime? Well, I...

Didn't you realize you were committing the crime of bigamy?

I confess that I didn't want to commit any crime.

I just wanted everyone to be happy.

Then I said to my nephew, "Lauro, Lauro, watch out for the nurses!"

That's not what I asked.

I only asked,

"Did your nephew, when he got married, know that the defendant was married?"

If he knew?

How could he know if the hospital doesn't hire married nurses?

She took advantage of the situation, Your Honor!

Marrying my nephew.

And our family can't lose this case.

The witness must limit herself to answering the questions addressed to her.

Get that dog out of here!

But Jiqui was arrested!

You can't arrest my Jiqui!

Let us now hear the statement of Jo�o da Silva.

Did you know that your wife got married twice?

No, Your Honor.

What happens is that I need this woman.

She's got sugar...

Permission to question the witness.

What were you before marrying the defendant?

A scoundrel. A troublemaker, a dishonorable person?

But very sincere.

Was she the one who put you on the right track?

Yes, she was.

She's precious!

Wasn't she the one, by any chance, who set your life straight,

making you a good man,

who became the hero of the day in several fires and saved several lives?

Yes, she was.

She even patched up my uniform trousers.

Having analyzed and recorded this case and etc., I have made a decision:

The defendant is sentenced to the minimum penalty

of two years' imprisonment imposed by law,

and her first marriage to Jo�o da Silva is the only one considered valid.

It was just a panic attack, Lauro. I didn't deserve this.

You'll be fine in no time.

This is for you.

See if there's enough sugar.

Drink it slowly, okay?

New nurse? Brand new, yes.

Married or single? Widow.

Good...

Unbelievable! He's incorrigible.

All he wants is nurses.

S�O PAULO STATE PENITENTIARY

But me and this "I love you" talk With my Hollywood pose

With my movie star pose, I seduced the leading man

And got married Trying to get the upper hand

I got married in Santana But his father found out

My lawful wedded husband Living a dog's life in Vila Mariana

And I went to jail this week

The chief of police was very tired He wanted to put me in boarding school

I have no friends here

There are no holidays And the schedule is tight

But we have fun I can even play the guitar

But don't bother me The place in my head

Is so beautiful It even looks like Malibu

And it's precisely

In the flourishing neighborhood Of Carandiru

A bit far from Hollywood

Am�lia!

There are no other men, there's nothing to keep us apart.

Go to hell!

No, I need you now.

To put iodine on the wounds of my soul.

I have a boo-boo, you hear?

And no more forgetting!

...AND THAT'S WHY A REAL WOMAN,

MADAME DE STA�L, ONCE SAID:

I WOULDN'T WANT TO BE A MAN,

BECAUSE THEN I WOULD HAVE

TO MARRY A WOMAN...