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1
00:00:16,733 --> 00:00:18,469
[♪ "Smoke Rings" playing]
2
00:00:31,429 --> 00:00:35,571
♪ Puff, puff, puff ♪
3
00:00:36,172 --> 00:00:41,415
♪ Puff your cares away ♪
4
00:00:44,856 --> 00:00:49,231
♪ Puff, puff, puff ♪
5
00:00:49,599 --> 00:00:55,176
♪ Night and day ♪
6
00:00:58,316 --> 00:01:03,393
♪ Blow, blow them
Through the air ♪
7
00:01:03,426 --> 00:01:09,371
♪ Silky little rings ♪
8
00:01:09,973 --> 00:01:13,413
♪ Those little smoke rings
I love ♪
9
00:01:13,446 --> 00:01:14,683
-[elevator dings]
-[song ends]
10
00:01:14,716 --> 00:01:15,752
[water running]
11
00:01:15,785 --> 00:01:16,853
[elevator door opens]
12
00:01:17,622 --> 00:01:18,724
Hi.
13
00:01:19,860 --> 00:01:21,128
Hey.
14
00:01:21,530 --> 00:01:23,466
How was... How was the thing?
15
00:01:26,640 --> 00:01:28,209
Well, you know.
16
00:01:29,913 --> 00:01:33,419
[smacks lips] It was
a journalist’s
book party in Midtown.
17
00:01:34,355 --> 00:01:35,591
How do you think it was?
18
00:01:37,361 --> 00:01:40,166
-Utterly fine? [chuckles]
-[John chuckles]
Violently fine.
19
00:01:41,804 --> 00:01:43,407
Anthony dropped by for a bit.
20
00:01:43,440 --> 00:01:44,710
Yeah? How’d he look?
21
00:01:44,743 --> 00:01:46,479
[John sighs] Frail.
22
00:01:46,847 --> 00:01:49,252
Wonder why
he bothered showing up.
23
00:01:49,285 --> 00:01:50,755
Life is for the living.
24
00:01:50,788 --> 00:01:52,425
[Carolyn chuckles]
Does that constitute living?
25
00:01:52,458 --> 00:01:54,295
[scoffs] A journalist
book party in Midtown?
26
00:01:54,328 --> 00:01:55,464
I had fun.
27
00:01:55,497 --> 00:01:57,535
[♪ "No Ordinary Love" playing]
28
00:01:58,704 --> 00:02:00,574
-Did you?
-[John] Yeah.
29
00:02:01,275 --> 00:02:03,581
Although I did get trapped
for about 20 minutes
30
00:02:03,614 --> 00:02:05,518
by that artist lady
who wears those hats.
31
00:02:05,551 --> 00:02:07,889
[stutters] Lizzie
is a publicist.
32
00:02:07,922 --> 00:02:10,326
The reason you think
she’s an artist is because
she’s a good publicist.
33
00:02:10,995 --> 00:02:12,230
Um.
34
00:02:17,742 --> 00:02:19,546
[chuckles] Wha-What
are you doing?
35
00:02:19,579 --> 00:02:21,249
What does it look
like I’m doing?
36
00:02:21,282 --> 00:02:23,588
[Carolyn giggles]
37
00:02:23,621 --> 00:02:25,256
I love this song.
38
00:02:28,496 --> 00:02:32,806
♪ This is no ordinary love ♪
39
00:02:32,839 --> 00:02:34,510
You know what else I love?
40
00:02:34,543 --> 00:02:35,611
Mmm?
41
00:02:36,814 --> 00:02:38,249
I love you.
42
00:02:42,959 --> 00:02:44,495
I love you too.
43
00:02:49,739 --> 00:02:52,411
Tonight would have been
so much more fun
if you were there.
44
00:02:52,444 --> 00:02:54,682
Everything’s more fun
when I’m there.
45
00:02:56,553 --> 00:03:00,193
-That’s usually true.
-[giggles]
46
00:03:00,928 --> 00:03:03,667
[John] You know,
I think this is the first song
we ever danced to.
47
00:03:04,736 --> 00:03:06,706
God, we barely knew
each other then.
48
00:03:07,240 --> 00:03:09,513
-I knew you. I knew
who you were.
-Mmm?
49
00:03:09,546 --> 00:03:10,915
-Yeah? [chuckles]
-You were fearless.
50
00:03:10,948 --> 00:03:12,417
No, I was terrified.
51
00:03:13,787 --> 00:03:16,359
♪ A love like
That won’t last? ♪
52
00:03:16,392 --> 00:03:19,298
The way you used to walk
into a room and just own it.
53
00:03:22,939 --> 00:03:24,442
Used to?
54
00:03:24,475 --> 00:03:26,479
No, you-you know what I mean.
55
00:03:27,916 --> 00:03:30,453
Baby, I missed you tonight.
56
00:03:32,892 --> 00:03:34,696
Everyone was asking
Where you were.
57
00:03:36,432 --> 00:03:38,905
It’s hard to keep track
of all the excuses
at this point.
58
00:03:38,938 --> 00:03:43,446
♪ This is no ordinary love ♪
59
00:03:43,479 --> 00:03:46,820
♪ No ordinary love ♪
60
00:03:49,726 --> 00:03:52,397
You’re hungry. I don’t want
the food to get cold.
61
00:04:03,621 --> 00:04:04,656
[music stops]
62
00:04:10,968 --> 00:04:12,506
I’m sorry.
63
00:04:12,539 --> 00:04:14,441
I wasn’t trying
to guilt-trip you.
64
00:04:16,078 --> 00:04:17,548
Just missed you.
65
00:04:18,316 --> 00:04:21,523
I mean it was a completely
mediocre book party
in Midtown. I...
66
00:04:21,924 --> 00:04:24,495
Really doesn’t sound
like I missed much, right?
67
00:04:24,529 --> 00:04:25,564
[John sighs]
68
00:04:28,604 --> 00:04:30,775
[Carolyn clears throat]
69
00:04:30,808 --> 00:04:33,346
If you were so desperate
to see me, you would have
just skipped it to see me.
70
00:04:33,379 --> 00:04:35,450
And the fact that
it didn’t even occur to you
as an option makes me feel like
71
00:04:35,483 --> 00:04:37,755
this isn’t just
about us spending
time together, but about...
72
00:04:38,456 --> 00:04:41,863
people seeing us
spend time together.
73
00:04:42,665 --> 00:04:43,968
Just... [sighs]
74
00:04:44,001 --> 00:04:45,838
I hate showing up
to these things alone.
75
00:04:47,107 --> 00:04:48,578
Because of
what people will say?
76
00:04:48,611 --> 00:04:50,480
No. No.
77
00:04:50,514 --> 00:04:52,017
[Carolyn] Mmm.
78
00:04:52,050 --> 00:04:54,422
-Well, obviously
that’s part of it.
-Mm-hmm.
79
00:04:54,455 --> 00:04:56,459
[John] You know
what happens anytime I show up
to these things alone.
80
00:04:56,492 --> 00:04:58,631
[sighs]
81
00:04:58,664 --> 00:05:00,969
There’s another headline
stating
that we’re headed for divorce.
82
00:05:01,002 --> 00:05:03,507
Uh, well, I mean,
at this point, they’re gonna
write a story no matter what.
83
00:05:03,540 --> 00:05:04,576
-So...
-[John] Exactly.
84
00:05:05,110 --> 00:05:07,347
Damned if we do,
damned if we don’t.
85
00:05:08,383 --> 00:05:10,922
Right, I just... I feel like
we’re saying
the same thing here.
86
00:05:10,955 --> 00:05:14,494
All I’m saying is I’d like
to spend time
with you outside of this loft.
87
00:05:21,075 --> 00:05:22,512
I have a crazy idea.
88
00:05:22,545 --> 00:05:24,481
-A plate?
-Um, let’s go on a trip.
89
00:05:25,150 --> 00:05:27,856
-What kind of a trip?
-[Carolyn] Any kind
of trip you want.
90
00:05:27,889 --> 00:05:31,597
Mmm. Paris, Belize, Tahiti.
91
00:05:31,630 --> 00:05:32,933
-Tahiti?
-Yeah, Tahiti.
92
00:05:32,966 --> 00:05:34,903
Just you and me at the beach.
93
00:05:34,936 --> 00:05:37,440
No parties, no obligation,
no press.
94
00:05:38,644 --> 00:05:39,746
No clothes.
95
00:05:39,779 --> 00:05:41,415
-Carolyn.
-I’m serious.
96
00:05:44,421 --> 00:05:45,724
Maybe after the holidays.
97
00:05:46,158 --> 00:05:48,496
After the holidays?
John, it’s-it’s August.
98
00:05:48,530 --> 00:05:51,736
It’s August 30th.
That’s essentially September.
99
00:05:52,337 --> 00:05:54,543
We have the Delancey
Street Foundation dinner
100
00:05:54,576 --> 00:05:55,945
-in San Francisco.
-Mm-hmm.
101
00:05:55,978 --> 00:05:57,816
Back to New York
for Fashion Week.
102
00:05:57,849 --> 00:05:59,920
Then I have the Cuba trip.
103
00:05:59,953 --> 00:06:02,659
After that,
we’re in the Vineyard,
straight to Red Gate.
104
00:06:02,692 --> 00:06:05,765
Then we’re back in the city
for Terry
and Valerie’s Halloween party.
105
00:06:05,798 --> 00:06:08,036
November is the George
anniversary dinner.
106
00:06:08,069 --> 00:06:09,706
-Mm-hmm.
-Thanksgiving at Hyannis.
107
00:06:09,739 --> 00:06:11,109
-[huffs]
-Christmas with the cousins.
108
00:06:11,142 --> 00:06:13,547
Your birthday in January.
109
00:06:13,580 --> 00:06:15,885
Figured you’d wanna be
with friends,
but, yeah, a trip sounds nice.
110
00:06:15,918 --> 00:06:18,189
[chuckles]
111
00:06:18,222 --> 00:06:22,966
Okay, so what you’re saying is
we can’t go on vacation
until 1998?
112
00:06:22,999 --> 00:06:24,034
[John] Of course not.
113
00:06:24,503 --> 00:06:26,740
We have Hyannis next weekend,
remember?
114
00:06:29,546 --> 00:06:31,148
Fuck me, I forgot.
115
00:06:34,823 --> 00:06:36,727
You know, a lot
of people consider
the Cape to be
116
00:06:36,760 --> 00:06:38,797
one of the most beautiful areas
of the country.
117
00:06:39,298 --> 00:06:41,570
Yeah, I’m aware of that.
118
00:06:41,603 --> 00:06:42,973
I don’t have a problem
with the Cape.
It’s the compound.
119
00:06:43,006 --> 00:06:44,041
[John] What about it?
120
00:06:45,611 --> 00:06:46,747
Come on. [scoffs]
121
00:06:46,780 --> 00:06:48,015
No, let’s hear it.
122
00:06:48,617 --> 00:06:50,955
-Out with it.
-[chuckles]
123
00:06:50,988 --> 00:06:54,896
Um. It’s not relaxing.
Every minute of the day
is accounted for.
124
00:06:54,929 --> 00:06:58,570
We can’t sleep in, we can’t sit
on the beach, we can’t go
for a walk.
125
00:06:59,038 --> 00:07:01,475
-There’s no privacy,
so we never have sex.
-Hmm.
126
00:07:01,977 --> 00:07:05,885
Oh. There’s never
enough hot water,
which is frankly mind-boggling,
127
00:07:05,918 --> 00:07:08,056
given the marvel
that is modern plumbing.
128
00:07:08,089 --> 00:07:11,596
And even in the height
of summer,
it’s always cold, like w-how?
129
00:07:12,064 --> 00:07:15,070
And there are all these insane,
unwritten rules.
130
00:07:15,103 --> 00:07:19,144
Like, uh, board games
are verboten,
but playing cards encouraged.
131
00:07:19,980 --> 00:07:22,217
-What’s the difference?
-[chuckles]
132
00:07:22,250 --> 00:07:25,490
Oh. And yogurt at breakfast is
sensible,
but yogurt at lunch is,
133
00:07:25,524 --> 00:07:27,629
and I’m quoting
your cousin here,
134
00:07:27,662 --> 00:07:30,033
-"Some Weight
Watchers shit." [scoffs]
-"Some Weight Watchers shit."
135
00:07:30,066 --> 00:07:33,741
Oh. And that, um, that rule
about no TV during the day.
136
00:07:33,774 --> 00:07:35,578
Well, that’s not a rule.
137
00:07:35,611 --> 00:07:37,982
It’s just... Do you wanna watch
TV during the day?
138
00:07:38,817 --> 00:07:40,554
I want the option.
139
00:07:41,255 --> 00:07:45,598
Spending your day in front
of the TV on a beautiful
summer’s day is just wasteful.
140
00:07:45,631 --> 00:07:47,067
[Carolyn] So it is a rule?
141
00:07:47,100 --> 00:07:48,704
It’s a norm.
142
00:07:48,737 --> 00:07:50,774
Oh, there’s nothing norm
about it, trust me.
143
00:07:51,576 --> 00:07:54,649
Everyone shoots me
these judgmental looks
whenever I read magazines.
144
00:07:54,682 --> 00:07:58,691
And-And before you say
that Caroline reads magazines
all the time too,
145
00:07:58,724 --> 00:08:00,193
let me interrupt
your interruption
146
00:08:00,226 --> 00:08:02,766
and say that Caroline
reads The New Republic,
147
00:08:02,799 --> 00:08:06,506
and while, technically,
yes, that’s a magazine,
spiritually, it’s a book.
148
00:08:07,007 --> 00:08:09,746
-Vogue , that’s a magazine.
-[scoffs]
149
00:08:09,779 --> 00:08:11,850
[Carolyn] And don’t think
I haven’t
noticed the expectant looks
150
00:08:11,883 --> 00:08:13,854
on everyone’s faces
when I abstain from a cocktail.
151
00:08:13,887 --> 00:08:16,660
I am basically guzzling
Dark ’n’ Stormys
prophylactically
152
00:08:16,693 --> 00:08:18,931
at this point.
153
00:08:18,964 --> 00:08:20,768
Yeah, I-I have to drink
or else people will think
I’m pregnant. [scoffs]
154
00:08:20,801 --> 00:08:23,173
You think I’m joking,
but I’m serious.
155
00:08:23,206 --> 00:08:26,245
I-I just feel like I’m on
display, like... like there’s
this sense of visibility.
156
00:08:26,278 --> 00:08:29,920
Like-like my body
is this living,
breathing report card
157
00:08:29,953 --> 00:08:32,223
broadcasting the state
of our relationship.
158
00:08:32,892 --> 00:08:35,129
-You could always drink
a Sea Breeze.
-[Carolyn giggles]
159
00:08:35,598 --> 00:08:37,969
-[gasps] And the clams.
-The clams?
160
00:08:38,002 --> 00:08:39,606
Over Fourth of July weekend,
161
00:08:39,639 --> 00:08:41,309
your family had five clambakes
over three days.
162
00:08:41,342 --> 00:08:42,812
Six actually.
163
00:08:43,446 --> 00:08:46,152
We had a midnight clambake,
but I let you sleep
through that one.
164
00:08:46,185 --> 00:08:48,123
Who wants clams at midnight?
165
00:08:48,156 --> 00:08:50,862
That-That’s diabolical.
[stammers] That’s sadistic.
166
00:08:50,895 --> 00:08:52,731
Okay, okay, I hear you.
167
00:08:53,132 --> 00:08:56,639
-Hyannis can be specific.
-No, I believe I said,
"Sadistic."
168
00:08:58,242 --> 00:09:00,080
I like spending time
with our family. I’m sorry.
169
00:09:00,113 --> 00:09:01,282
John, they’re your family.
170
00:09:01,315 --> 00:09:03,353
[John] They’re your family too.
171
00:09:03,386 --> 00:09:04,923
-Family is important.
-Yeah, you and me,
we’re a family.
172
00:09:04,956 --> 00:09:06,225
[phone ringing]
173
00:09:14,174 --> 00:09:15,209
Hello.
174
00:09:17,047 --> 00:09:18,115
What? [stutters]
175
00:09:18,951 --> 00:09:20,086
What happened?
176
00:09:23,827 --> 00:09:25,965
Laur-Lauren, slow down,
you’re scaring me.
177
00:09:25,998 --> 00:09:27,568
-[John] What’s going on?
-[stutters]
178
00:09:28,937 --> 00:09:30,306
[stutters] Mm-hmm.
179
00:09:31,710 --> 00:09:32,912
Okay, what channel?
180
00:09:33,647 --> 00:09:34,782
[stutters] Will you?
181
00:09:36,385 --> 00:09:38,757
Yeah, okay,
let me call you back,
all right?
182
00:09:38,790 --> 00:09:39,926
Love you. Bye.
183
00:09:39,959 --> 00:09:41,261
[thuds]
184
00:09:41,996 --> 00:09:44,636
[news anchor] An update now
on the condition
of Princess Diana,
185
00:09:44,669 --> 00:09:47,709
who was involved
in a traffic accident
in Paris this evening.
186
00:09:47,742 --> 00:09:49,746
She is in a serious condition.
187
00:09:49,779 --> 00:09:51,850
She was driving
with her companion,
Dodi Al-Fayed.
188
00:09:51,883 --> 00:09:54,421
He, according to police
officials,
died in the accident...
189
00:09:54,454 --> 00:09:57,261
-Oh, my God!
-[news anchor]
...along with a chauffeur.
190
00:09:57,294 --> 00:10:00,735
The princess’s bodyguard
was also injured. We don’t know
his condition at this hour.
191
00:10:00,768 --> 00:10:02,639
- The accident happened ...
-Oh, my God.
192
00:10:02,672 --> 00:10:04,809
[news anchor] ... as Diana’s car
was being pursued
193
00:10:04,842 --> 00:10:07,147
by a group of paparazzis
on motorcycles
as they entered a tunnel
194
00:10:07,180 --> 00:10:09,051
-along the River Seine.
-I just saw her.
195
00:10:09,084 --> 00:10:10,688
-What?
-At Gianni’s funeral.
196
00:10:10,721 --> 00:10:13,059
I-I sat right behind her.
197
00:10:13,092 --> 00:10:15,430
[news anchor] She has been
monitoring
Paris for any new information.
198
00:10:15,463 --> 00:10:18,236
-[news anchor] Nina,
can you hear me?
-[Nina] Yes, I can.
199
00:10:18,269 --> 00:10:21,375
[news anchor] Dodi Al-Fayed,
obviously, a very famous man,
a millionaire as well.
200
00:10:21,408 --> 00:10:23,881
Do you have any news
on his condition?
201
00:10:23,914 --> 00:10:25,951
We have police reports
and others saying
that he is in fact...
202
00:10:26,352 --> 00:10:30,193
[Nina] All we know
at the moment
is that he has in fact...
203
00:10:30,226 --> 00:10:32,130
...as well as the driver.
204
00:10:32,163 --> 00:10:34,468
Princess Diana apparently
has been severely injured
205
00:10:34,502 --> 00:10:36,372
as well as a bodyguard.
206
00:10:36,405 --> 00:10:37,942
[news anchor 2] Do we know
the nature of her injury?
207
00:10:37,975 --> 00:10:39,846
-Carolyn.
-[Nina] Not at this moment.
208
00:10:39,879 --> 00:10:41,683
-We know that
she has been taken...
-Carolyn.
209
00:10:41,716 --> 00:10:43,186
[Carolyn] Yeah?
210
00:10:43,219 --> 00:10:45,056
The glasses in the dishwasher,
are they clean?
211
00:10:46,893 --> 00:10:48,028
[Carolyn] What?
212
00:10:48,395 --> 00:10:50,835
The glasses in the dishwasher,
are they clean?
213
00:10:50,868 --> 00:10:53,172
I-I don’t know.
214
00:10:53,205 --> 00:10:55,176
[news anchor] There has been
no comment
from Buckingham Palace...
215
00:10:55,209 --> 00:10:57,281
[John] You don’t know
if you ran the dishwasher
or not?
216
00:10:57,314 --> 00:10:59,351
-[stutters] What?
-[John] I don’t get
how you don’t know.
217
00:10:59,384 --> 00:11:00,821
-You either ran it
or you didn’t.
-Why are you asking me?
218
00:11:00,854 --> 00:11:02,291
[John] You’ve been home
all day.
219
00:11:02,324 --> 00:11:03,861
Do you remember
hearing the dishwasher run?
220
00:11:03,894 --> 00:11:05,363
Yes, I did a dish wash.
221
00:11:05,396 --> 00:11:07,433
[sighs]
222
00:11:07,835 --> 00:11:10,307
[news anchor 2] The paparazzi,
of course,
have been trying to photograph
223
00:11:10,340 --> 00:11:13,814
Princess Diana
with Dodi Al-Fayed,
a famous millionaire with whom
224
00:11:13,847 --> 00:11:16,954
she has been
in a romantic relationship
for the last couple of weeks.
225
00:11:16,987 --> 00:11:19,425
[news anchor] Have they been
engendering
a fair bit of publicity
226
00:11:19,458 --> 00:11:22,064
while they were in Paris?
’Cause most people knew
they were there.
227
00:11:22,097 --> 00:11:26,940
[Nina] Oh, yes. There has been
an extraordinary amount
of tabloid and media...
228
00:11:27,642 --> 00:11:29,478
[news anchor]
What can you tell us
229
00:11:29,512 --> 00:11:31,516
about the area of Paris
where the accident occurred?
230
00:11:31,549 --> 00:11:33,520
I guess it was
the entrance ramp
of the tunnel.
231
00:11:33,553 --> 00:11:35,825
[Nina] It was an entrance route
to the underground tunnel
232
00:11:35,858 --> 00:11:38,329
that goes under
the Seine River.
233
00:11:38,362 --> 00:11:42,471
This area is well-known
by tourists. So it’s
a very well-populated area.
234
00:11:42,505 --> 00:11:44,174
-[clunks]
-[news anchor 2] Let’s go back
235
00:11:44,207 --> 00:11:46,045
to the scene of the wreckage.
236
00:11:46,078 --> 00:11:49,753
There’s the recognizable
back end of the Mercedes sedan,
237
00:11:49,786 --> 00:11:52,391
and there
is the unrecognizable front end
238
00:11:52,424 --> 00:11:55,531
of what must have been
a high-speed collision.
239
00:11:55,564 --> 00:11:58,303
In the front part of the car,
the two flashes of white there
240
00:11:58,336 --> 00:12:01,977
are the deployed airbags,
the remnants of the airbags.
241
00:12:02,010 --> 00:12:05,350
Princess Diana is unmatched
when it comes
to generating interest
242
00:12:05,383 --> 00:12:07,487
and, indeed,
cash for deserving projects...
243
00:12:07,521 --> 00:12:09,458
-I’m going for a run.
-[news anchor 2]
...taken an interest.
244
00:12:09,491 --> 00:12:11,563
-Her most high-profile
involvement...
-What?
245
00:12:11,596 --> 00:12:13,466
[news anchor 2] ...has been
to draw the world’s attention
246
00:12:13,499 --> 00:12:16,372
-to the horrors
facing civilians...
-John.
247
00:12:16,405 --> 00:12:18,242
-I’ll be back in a bit.
-[Carolyn scoffs]
248
00:12:18,275 --> 00:12:19,477
[♪ "Exit Music" playing]
249
00:12:21,482 --> 00:12:24,087
-[news anchor] Diana was also
recently...
-[elevator dings, opens]
250
00:12:25,591 --> 00:12:28,396
[news anchor] ...mostly
dominating headlines
in the newspaper,
251
00:12:28,429 --> 00:12:32,237
especially in Britain,
concerning her relationship
with Dodi Al-Fayed,
252
00:12:32,270 --> 00:12:35,143
which reported that she joined
her 40-year-old
millionaire companion
253
00:12:35,176 --> 00:12:38,316
and a group of friends
for a Mediterranean cruise,
254
00:12:38,349 --> 00:12:41,556
once again, putting her
personal life under scrutiny.
255
00:12:41,589 --> 00:12:44,529
Her private holiday was filmed
by the Italian paparazzi,
256
00:12:44,562 --> 00:12:47,969
who are now auctioning
the photographs
to the highest bidder.
257
00:12:48,002 --> 00:12:49,539
We will continue to cover...
258
00:12:49,572 --> 00:12:52,811
♪ We escape ♪
259
00:12:57,487 --> 00:13:02,463
♪ Breathe ♪
260
00:13:02,965 --> 00:13:05,904
♪ Keep breathing ♪
261
00:13:07,107 --> 00:13:10,547
♪ I can’t do this ♪
262
00:13:12,283 --> 00:13:15,356
♪ Alone ♪
263
00:13:25,143 --> 00:13:30,987
♪ You can laugh ♪
264
00:13:32,892 --> 00:13:39,037
♪ A spineless laugh ♪
265
00:13:40,974 --> 00:13:42,512
♪ We hope your rules ♪
266
00:13:42,545 --> 00:13:44,582
[news anchor]
...it said, and I quote,
267
00:13:45,016 --> 00:13:47,187
"Princess Diana has died."
268
00:13:47,220 --> 00:13:54,234
♪ And wisdom choke you ♪
269
00:13:56,472 --> 00:14:03,152
♪ Now we are one ♪
270
00:14:04,354 --> 00:14:11,368
♪ In everlasting peace ♪
271
00:14:12,403 --> 00:14:18,015
♪ We hope that you choke ♪
272
00:14:19,217 --> 00:14:24,160
♪ That you choke ♪
273
00:14:38,422 --> 00:14:40,493
[elevator door closes]
274
00:14:40,527 --> 00:14:43,032
[news anchor 4]
...very tragic turn,
with confirmation
275
00:14:43,065 --> 00:14:44,669
from Buckingham Palace tonight
276
00:14:44,702 --> 00:14:48,544
that the world has lost
Princess Diana at age 36.
277
00:14:48,577 --> 00:14:51,983
The official cause of death was
listed as cardiac arrest
278
00:14:52,016 --> 00:14:54,021
following massive trauma
and head injuries.
279
00:14:54,054 --> 00:14:56,325
-[Carolyn] She’s dead.
-[sighs]
280
00:14:56,358 --> 00:14:57,695
[news anchor 4] Doctors noted
that these injuries
were consistent
281
00:14:57,728 --> 00:14:59,698
with a high-speed collision.
282
00:15:00,132 --> 00:15:02,605
[news anchor 5]
If you are now tuning in,
we have been covering...
283
00:15:02,638 --> 00:15:05,945
-They killed her.
- [news anchor 5]
...accident of Princess...
284
00:15:05,978 --> 00:15:08,149
[Carolyn] She did
everything right,
posed for every photo,
285
00:15:08,182 --> 00:15:10,521
gave them everything
they wanted, and they just...
286
00:15:10,554 --> 00:15:13,025
[news anchor 5] Her companion,
Dodi Al-Fayed,
was killed outright...
287
00:15:13,058 --> 00:15:15,598
-...they still killed her.
-[news anchor 5]
...the Mercedes car.
288
00:15:15,631 --> 00:15:18,302
-Surgeons
at a nearby hospital...
-It’s very sad.
289
00:15:18,335 --> 00:15:21,610
-[Carolyn] It’s monstrous.
- [news anchor 5]
...a battle they lost.
290
00:15:21,643 --> 00:15:23,479
The British ambassador...
291
00:15:23,513 --> 00:15:25,618
She was their princess,
and they treated her like prey.
292
00:15:25,651 --> 00:15:28,322
[news anchor 5] .
..which we now know
got rather frantic
293
00:15:28,355 --> 00:15:30,594
as they started
to lose her pulse.
294
00:15:30,627 --> 00:15:33,399
-[news anchor 5]
At the scene, police...
- I gotta clean my face off.
295
00:15:33,432 --> 00:15:36,640
[news anchor 5] ...paparazzi
photographers allegedly
pursuing the princess’s car
296
00:15:36,673 --> 00:15:38,376
in a high-speed chase.
297
00:15:38,409 --> 00:15:40,146
Seven men were arrested.
298
00:15:40,179 --> 00:15:43,052
And the film rolls have
all been confiscated.
299
00:15:43,085 --> 00:15:45,456
And the world is slowly
learning of this news...
300
00:15:45,489 --> 00:15:49,666
You know, I think there’s
something really macabre
about watching this shit
301
00:15:49,699 --> 00:15:52,738
when right now, halfway
across the world,
someone is waking up her kids
302
00:15:52,771 --> 00:15:55,243
before they find out
their parent is dead on TV.
303
00:15:55,276 --> 00:15:57,447
[news anchor 5] He
and the First Lady have sent
304
00:15:57,480 --> 00:16:00,252
their condolences
to Buckingham Palace.
305
00:16:00,787 --> 00:16:05,597
There are reports that
the royal family, uh, they
are at Balmoral in Scotland...
306
00:16:08,369 --> 00:16:10,372
[Carolyn] I’m sorry.
I didn’t mean to upset you.
307
00:16:12,811 --> 00:16:14,047
[sighs]
308
00:16:25,837 --> 00:16:27,507
[Carolyn] Those poor boys.
309
00:16:29,077 --> 00:16:30,714
At least they have each other.
310
00:16:32,250 --> 00:16:34,020
Like you and Caroline.
311
00:16:34,387 --> 00:16:37,093
-Like me and Caroline?
-[Carolyn] Yeah.
312
00:16:37,929 --> 00:16:40,634
This is nothing like what me
and Caroline went through.
313
00:16:41,202 --> 00:16:44,542
They’re princes.
They’re members of a monarchy.
314
00:16:44,575 --> 00:16:47,615
I was three when my dad died.
I grew up 60 blocks from here.
315
00:16:47,648 --> 00:16:50,587
I rode my bike to school.
It’s night and day.
316
00:16:52,725 --> 00:16:53,760
Okay.
317
00:16:58,402 --> 00:17:00,740
You’re telling me
it wasn’t like that.
318
00:17:02,778 --> 00:17:04,213
What was it like?
319
00:17:06,451 --> 00:17:08,422
-I don’t wanna talk about it.
-John.
320
00:17:10,159 --> 00:17:11,796
You’re making assumptions
and trying to tell me
321
00:17:11,829 --> 00:17:13,567
what my own childhood was like,
322
00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:15,336
and I have everyone else
in the world to do that for me
323
00:17:15,369 --> 00:17:17,541
without having to hear it
from my own wife.
324
00:17:28,295 --> 00:17:29,330
John.
325
00:17:31,435 --> 00:17:33,673
I’m just trying to understand.
326
00:17:35,577 --> 00:17:38,248
-Does it not scare you?
-[sighs]
327
00:17:47,500 --> 00:17:48,536
John.
328
00:17:50,741 --> 00:17:52,176
Fine.
329
00:17:53,278 --> 00:17:57,120
You wanna know
what I’m so scared of?
What’s going through my head?
330
00:17:57,153 --> 00:17:59,825
What I was thinking about
the entire time during my jog?
331
00:18:00,359 --> 00:18:03,198
That you are never
gonna leave the house again.
332
00:18:04,034 --> 00:18:06,338
Do I see the parallels
between what we deal with
333
00:18:06,371 --> 00:18:07,708
and what happened to her?
334
00:18:07,741 --> 00:18:10,413
Of course I do.
But can I say that?
335
00:18:10,446 --> 00:18:13,619
No, it’ll just be one more
thing that’s gonna stop you
from living your life.
336
00:18:17,928 --> 00:18:20,132
You wanna know
why I can’t watch this?
337
00:18:21,936 --> 00:18:25,577
Because if I do,
I’ll never fucking stop, okay?
338
00:18:34,762 --> 00:18:35,797
[sighs]
339
00:18:41,308 --> 00:18:42,911
Do you wanna hear
about my childhood?
340
00:18:43,613 --> 00:18:46,919
I don’t remember
my dad dying, at all.
341
00:18:47,888 --> 00:18:52,531
But what I remember vividly is
my mom being basically
in a trance.
342
00:18:52,564 --> 00:18:55,370
And the hours that Caroline
and the nanny and I spent
343
00:18:55,403 --> 00:18:58,710
while my mom was locked away
in a dark room, crying alone.
344
00:19:06,291 --> 00:19:10,399
And why...
Couldn’t she just play with me?
345
00:19:16,579 --> 00:19:20,319
It was my mother I watched die,
not my dad.
346
00:19:21,321 --> 00:19:22,891
I watched her die twice.
347
00:19:29,905 --> 00:19:32,544
And now it feels like
I’m watching you slip away.
348
00:19:33,580 --> 00:19:35,717
You’re choosing the darkness.
349
00:19:36,318 --> 00:19:41,294
I’m watching it happen.
I feel like
I’m being abandoned again.
350
00:19:42,096 --> 00:19:45,403
I can’t lose you.
You’re the one person
I can’t lose.
351
00:19:45,436 --> 00:19:47,508
Do you understand that?
352
00:19:47,541 --> 00:19:50,346
I’ve lost so many people
in my life,
and I can’t lose you.
353
00:19:50,379 --> 00:19:52,751
I can’t. I can’t lose you.
354
00:19:52,784 --> 00:19:57,795
-John.
-[John] I can’t,
I can’t. I can’t. [sobs]
355
00:19:57,828 --> 00:20:00,466
[Carolyn shushes]
356
00:20:02,571 --> 00:20:04,508
I can’t lose you, Carolyn.
357
00:20:05,777 --> 00:20:08,281
-Breathe.
-[John sobbing]
358
00:20:09,652 --> 00:20:11,421
I’m not going anywhere.
359
00:20:15,496 --> 00:20:17,466
Just breathe.
360
00:20:42,016 --> 00:20:45,422
[♪ "Smile" playing] Now you should smile ♪
361
00:20:46,659 --> 00:20:51,669
♪ Though your heart is aching ♪
362
00:20:52,538 --> 00:20:58,850
♪ Smile even though
It’s breaking ♪
363
00:21:00,887 --> 00:21:05,362
♪ When there are clouds ♪
364
00:21:05,864 --> 00:21:09,270
♪ Way up in the sky ♪
365
00:21:10,339 --> 00:21:13,411
♪ You’re gonna get by ♪
366
00:21:15,082 --> 00:21:17,754
♪ That’s the time ♪
367
00:21:18,155 --> 00:21:23,298
♪ You must keep on trying ♪
368
00:21:23,666 --> 00:21:25,870
♪ Oh, you gotta smile ♪
369
00:21:27,440 --> 00:21:32,016
♪ What’s the use of crying ♪
370
00:21:33,553 --> 00:21:37,761
♪ You’ll find that life
Is still ♪
371
00:21:39,832 --> 00:21:45,008
♪ Worthwhile ♪
372
00:21:46,579 --> 00:21:48,315
♪ If you’d just ♪
373
00:21:48,983 --> 00:21:53,626
♪ Smile ♪
374
00:21:54,828 --> 00:21:56,431
♪ Come on ♪
375
00:21:56,464 --> 00:22:02,510
♪ Now show me a little smile ♪
376
00:22:06,552 --> 00:22:07,921
You’re gonna hurt yourself.
377
00:22:10,459 --> 00:22:13,064
-You sure
you don’t want a hand?
-[Carolyn] No, I’m good.
378
00:22:17,106 --> 00:22:19,077
God, we went through
so much wine.
379
00:22:19,110 --> 00:22:20,379
[John] Uh-huh.
380
00:22:22,884 --> 00:22:25,389
[grunts]
381
00:22:31,034 --> 00:22:33,071
[phone beeps]
382
00:22:33,740 --> 00:22:35,409
[sighs]
383
00:22:38,616 --> 00:22:39,851
Hey, Jason. It’s John.
384
00:22:40,653 --> 00:22:43,458
My dinner is done.
I’m just at home.
385
00:22:43,927 --> 00:22:45,429
Give me a call whenever.
386
00:22:47,734 --> 00:22:49,872
Why are you calling
your flight instructor?
387
00:22:49,905 --> 00:22:52,076
What are you talking about?
I talk to him all the time.
388
00:22:53,445 --> 00:22:57,086
I have to log 40 more hours
before I’m instrument-rated.
[grunts]
389
00:22:57,119 --> 00:23:00,594
You just crashed flying
that ridiculous
lawn mower contraption.
390
00:23:00,627 --> 00:23:02,865
I think it’s obvious you need
a bit more time than that.
391
00:23:02,898 --> 00:23:06,038
It’s called a Buckeye,
and it’s an entirely
different machine.
392
00:23:06,071 --> 00:23:08,576
Buckeyes have nothing to do
with airplanes.
393
00:23:10,613 --> 00:23:12,885
Didn’t you promise Caroline
you were done with flying?
394
00:23:12,918 --> 00:23:15,723
Since when are you so concerned
with what Caroline wants?
395
00:23:20,800 --> 00:23:22,002
What are you doing?
396
00:23:22,771 --> 00:23:25,610
-I want my cigarettes.
-No, just sit. Sit.
I’ll get them for you.
397
00:23:25,643 --> 00:23:28,015
I don’t want you hobbling up
the stairs.
398
00:23:28,048 --> 00:23:30,586
[John] They’re not up
the stairs.
They’re in my room.
399
00:23:39,938 --> 00:23:41,875
-[door closes]
-[cutlery clanking]
400
00:23:44,915 --> 00:23:45,917
[John grunts]
401
00:23:46,719 --> 00:23:49,057
You know, if we left now,
we could probably
catch the tail end
402
00:23:49,090 --> 00:23:51,060
of that Vanity Fair party
at Pravda.
403
00:23:51,929 --> 00:23:56,038
John, you’re not supposed
to be putting any pressure
on that ankle.
404
00:23:56,071 --> 00:23:58,475
No parties, no stairs,
no flying lessons.
405
00:23:59,144 --> 00:24:01,916
Well, we’ll take a cab.
I can sit when I get there.
406
00:24:01,949 --> 00:24:02,984
[Carolyn sighs]
407
00:24:04,855 --> 00:24:07,026
-Ugh. Fuck.
-[Carolyn] I’m wiped.
408
00:24:07,059 --> 00:24:10,232
But if you wanna go,
you should go.
409
00:24:10,265 --> 00:24:12,036
Wiped? It’s not even 11:00.
410
00:24:17,113 --> 00:24:18,883
Can you please stop
with the candle?
411
00:24:19,652 --> 00:24:21,555
Wait, is this
a fight right now?
412
00:24:24,127 --> 00:24:25,229
No, I’m fine.
413
00:24:25,262 --> 00:24:27,232
What? What now?
414
00:24:31,241 --> 00:24:34,180
Fine, if you want me
to sit here
and beg you for it, I will.
415
00:24:34,213 --> 00:24:36,084
Or we can just fast-forward
to the part
416
00:24:36,117 --> 00:24:38,522
where you tell me
exactly how it is I fucked up.
417
00:24:40,125 --> 00:24:41,160
[John sighs]
418
00:24:42,263 --> 00:24:43,933
You told me to go work
for Petra.
419
00:24:45,904 --> 00:24:47,841
-When?
-Uh, thirty minutes ago,
420
00:24:47,874 --> 00:24:49,644
at this dinner party
you insisted on hosting.
421
00:24:51,649 --> 00:24:53,887
Petra was complaining
about how difficult
it is to find
422
00:24:53,920 --> 00:24:56,859
anyone with work experience
willing to build something
from the ground up
423
00:24:56,892 --> 00:24:58,997
and accept a pay cut,
and you started yelling
at me for--
424
00:24:59,030 --> 00:25:01,569
-I did not yell.
-Yeah, John,
you were literally yelling.
425
00:25:01,602 --> 00:25:04,107
And I know that because
you were seated
at the other end of the table.
426
00:25:04,140 --> 00:25:06,278
All I said was
that you had fashion experience
427
00:25:06,311 --> 00:25:08,248
-and you didn’t need money.
-PR.
428
00:25:11,020 --> 00:25:14,728
-I have PR experience.
-At Calvin Klein.
429
00:25:14,761 --> 00:25:16,732
Isn’t that fashion?
That’s fashion.
430
00:25:16,765 --> 00:25:19,605
Petra has a jewelry line, John.
I’m not a jewelry designer.
431
00:25:19,638 --> 00:25:22,009
Well, I’m sorry for insinuating
that you have great taste.
432
00:25:22,042 --> 00:25:24,113
Yeah, that qualifies me
to buy jewelry.
433
00:25:24,582 --> 00:25:26,585
-Not make it.
-[sighs]
434
00:25:31,929 --> 00:25:35,604
It’s humiliating getting
pitched for job after job
435
00:25:35,637 --> 00:25:37,608
regardless of my interests
or qualifications.
436
00:25:37,641 --> 00:25:39,144
-When have I ever--
-[Carolyn] You do it
all the time.
437
00:25:39,177 --> 00:25:40,981
I mean, you practically
shoved me
438
00:25:41,014 --> 00:25:42,785
into André Leon Talley’s lap
at that fundraiser.
439
00:25:42,818 --> 00:25:44,789
-No, I did not.
-[Carolyn] John, yes, you did.
440
00:25:44,822 --> 00:25:47,026
You know, it makes me feel
like I am this dead weight
441
00:25:47,059 --> 00:25:49,130
that you are desperate to shed.
You’re just... You’re...
442
00:25:51,034 --> 00:25:53,640
You’re getting wax
all over the table.
443
00:25:53,673 --> 00:25:55,710
I thought you hated this table.
444
00:26:04,695 --> 00:26:07,701
What did you mean
I insisted on hosting
this dinner party?
445
00:26:07,734 --> 00:26:09,638
It was your idea, wasn’t it?
446
00:26:09,671 --> 00:26:11,943
Well, I knew better than
to suggest
we go to a restaurant,
447
00:26:11,976 --> 00:26:13,913
or anywhere else
other than this apartment.
448
00:26:13,946 --> 00:26:15,617
[stammers] Are you seriously
that upset
449
00:26:15,650 --> 00:26:17,286
that I organized a dinner party
for your friends?
450
00:26:18,689 --> 00:26:20,660
It really bothers me
when you do that.
451
00:26:21,795 --> 00:26:23,198
Do what?
452
00:26:23,231 --> 00:26:25,069
Delineate between my friends
and your friends.
453
00:26:25,102 --> 00:26:28,041
We’re a unit, John.
They’re our friends.
454
00:26:28,943 --> 00:26:29,945
[sighs]
455
00:26:31,281 --> 00:26:32,884
Okay, Carolyn.
456
00:26:35,088 --> 00:26:37,126
-Pronoun rescinded.
-[Carolyn] What are you doing?
457
00:26:37,159 --> 00:26:39,163
Sorry if my grammar
offended you.
458
00:26:48,849 --> 00:26:52,958
iends.
459
00:26:52,991 --> 00:26:56,063
[John] Yeah, well,
they were bombarding me
with questions.
460
00:26:58,401 --> 00:26:59,804
Yes.
461
00:27:02,276 --> 00:27:06,986
And to be honest,
I think people are
uncomfortable asking you
462
00:27:07,019 --> 00:27:08,990
about what’s going on
in your life
463
00:27:09,023 --> 00:27:10,961
’cause they’re not sure
if you want to talk about it.
464
00:27:10,994 --> 00:27:13,265
[stutters] What do you mean
what’s going on in my life?
465
00:27:13,298 --> 00:27:17,072
You know,
that you’re still trying
to figure out your thing.
466
00:27:17,807 --> 00:27:19,210
My thing. [scoffs]
467
00:27:21,749 --> 00:27:24,855
You know, enough with this
relentless pressure
to have a thing.
468
00:27:24,888 --> 00:27:26,190
Why do I have to have a thing?
469
00:27:26,659 --> 00:27:29,865
It’s all I hear about
from your family
and your friends
470
00:27:29,898 --> 00:27:31,869
and-and the press,
and especially you.
471
00:27:31,902 --> 00:27:33,940
Because it’s not enough
to just be a Kennedy, no.
472
00:27:33,973 --> 00:27:36,011
No, you have to work
at the NRDC
or make a documentary
473
00:27:36,044 --> 00:27:38,214
or write a book
about constitutional law.
474
00:27:38,783 --> 00:27:42,356
I am 33 years old.
I’ve been working since I’m 15.
475
00:27:42,389 --> 00:27:44,895
Can’t my thing
just be taking a beat
476
00:27:44,928 --> 00:27:47,266
to settle into my marriage
and enjoy my life?
477
00:27:47,299 --> 00:27:50,338
Is that what you’re doing
all day alone in the apartment,
enjoying your life?
478
00:27:52,911 --> 00:27:54,848
I’m figuring it out.
479
00:27:55,382 --> 00:27:58,088
And in the meantime,
I don’t wanna just join
some board
480
00:27:58,121 --> 00:28:01,294
because it would make
you feel better when people ask
me what I do at dinner parties.
481
00:28:01,327 --> 00:28:03,298
I would think you,
of all people, should be able
to understand that.
482
00:28:03,331 --> 00:28:05,102
-Me, of all people?
-[Carolyn] Yes, John.
483
00:28:05,135 --> 00:28:07,339
You, of all people, should know
what this is like.
484
00:28:07,808 --> 00:28:10,747
Instead, you just come at me
with all this unhelpful help,
485
00:28:10,780 --> 00:28:12,918
like it’s become
a full-time job just...
486
00:28:12,951 --> 00:28:16,792
just batting away
this constant barrage
of indiscriminate suggestions
487
00:28:16,825 --> 00:28:18,996
on how to fill my days,
and-and...
488
00:28:20,098 --> 00:28:22,102
and I... I feel guilty.
489
00:28:23,438 --> 00:28:26,410
Because I know you
think you’re trying to be
helpful, but it doesn’t...
490
00:28:28,081 --> 00:28:29,751
It doesn’t feel helpful.
491
00:28:30,587 --> 00:28:32,422
It feels like
you’re judging me.
492
00:28:33,057 --> 00:28:35,195
So, what am I supposed to do
when you complain
493
00:28:35,228 --> 00:28:37,232
about how unmoored
your life feels?
494
00:28:38,168 --> 00:28:40,039
Just sit there and say nothing?
495
00:28:40,072 --> 00:28:41,307
Yes. Yes.
496
00:28:42,109 --> 00:28:43,444
Just say nothing.
497
00:28:43,846 --> 00:28:46,417
Just... Just listen.
498
00:28:48,321 --> 00:28:50,225
That’s what I need from you.
499
00:28:50,258 --> 00:28:52,564
I just need you to sit
and listen
and let me feel lost.
500
00:28:52,597 --> 00:28:57,039
Can I... Like,
can I just... f-feel lost?
501
00:28:57,975 --> 00:29:00,145
Can you please allow me
the space to do that?
502
00:29:01,849 --> 00:29:03,285
Yes.
503
00:29:03,318 --> 00:29:05,121
-[sighs] Okay.
-[John] Yes, I can do that.
504
00:29:08,395 --> 00:29:13,305
You know, look, I get that
it’s daunting to start over,
but just look at my mom.
505
00:29:13,338 --> 00:29:15,008
Oh, my God.
506
00:29:15,409 --> 00:29:18,516
She was a lifelong reader
who became a book editor
at the age of 46.
507
00:29:18,549 --> 00:29:21,087
Forty-six. Yes, John,
I know. I know.
508
00:29:21,120 --> 00:29:23,125
All I’m saying is
that she figured it out
509
00:29:23,158 --> 00:29:26,264
despite public scrutiny
or the threat
of public scrutiny.
510
00:29:26,297 --> 00:29:29,972
John, it is impossible for me
to overstate just
how aware I am
511
00:29:30,005 --> 00:29:32,209
that your mother was
a very impressive woman.
512
00:29:32,242 --> 00:29:33,879
Believe me, okay?
513
00:29:34,681 --> 00:29:37,521
But do you think
your mother could have held a
nine-to-five job in publishing
514
00:29:37,554 --> 00:29:40,191
when she was married
to the most famous man
on the planet?
515
00:29:40,760 --> 00:29:42,531
-She did that when
she was a widow.
-Enough!
516
00:29:42,564 --> 00:29:45,002
Enough about my mother.
517
00:29:45,035 --> 00:29:47,006
-What? John, John,
you brought her up.
-And now I’m saying to drop it.
518
00:29:47,039 --> 00:29:48,876
-You mention my mother enough.
-Your mother’s still here
519
00:29:48,909 --> 00:29:51,114
-to defend herself.
-Mm-hmm.
520
00:29:51,147 --> 00:29:52,984
You don’t know how lucky
you are that I never introduced
you to my mother
521
00:29:53,017 --> 00:29:55,188
because she never
would have encouraged this.
522
00:29:55,590 --> 00:29:57,192
Us.
523
00:30:05,308 --> 00:30:06,578
Wow.
524
00:30:07,012 --> 00:30:08,983
I mean, it’s not like
I would have listened to her.
525
00:30:09,016 --> 00:30:10,385
No, no. Yeah. Sure.
526
00:30:14,995 --> 00:30:16,632
Maybe I should have listened
to mine.
527
00:30:16,665 --> 00:30:18,301
What?
528
00:30:18,334 --> 00:30:20,238
My mother basically told me
I should end this.
529
00:30:20,673 --> 00:30:21,942
When?
530
00:30:23,679 --> 00:30:26,886
-At the wedding.
-All right. The speech.
531
00:30:26,919 --> 00:30:28,287
No, no, it was earlier.
532
00:30:31,360 --> 00:30:33,498
-That afternoon.
-[John] What are you
talking about?
533
00:30:34,433 --> 00:30:36,003
Carolyn.
534
00:30:37,907 --> 00:30:40,145
Carolyn,
what are you talking about?
535
00:30:41,949 --> 00:30:44,053
-Carolyn.
-[Carolyn] My mother came
into my room
536
00:30:44,086 --> 00:30:47,159
the day of our rehearsal dinner
and warned me not to marry you.
537
00:30:48,495 --> 00:30:51,201
She said that
you would never prioritize me,
538
00:30:51,234 --> 00:30:54,541
that you’d always
choose your job
or your family or yourself,
539
00:30:54,574 --> 00:30:57,379
that you would never make space
for me in your life.
540
00:30:59,618 --> 00:31:02,022
And I pushed back on her,
I told her she was wrong,
541
00:31:02,055 --> 00:31:04,494
-and now... now I-I don’t know
that she was.
-Carolyn,
542
00:31:04,528 --> 00:31:06,632
I do make space for you.
543
00:31:06,665 --> 00:31:09,136
No, John, John,
I know you think you do,
but you’re always out.
544
00:31:10,305 --> 00:31:14,548
You come home at 11:00,
at midnight. Last night,
you were home at 3:00 a.m.
545
00:31:14,581 --> 00:31:16,484
Yeah, well, we’re closing
the August issue of George.
546
00:31:16,518 --> 00:31:18,020
You’re always... Uh...
547
00:31:20,593 --> 00:31:22,597
You’re always closing
the magazine.
548
00:31:23,131 --> 00:31:26,505
Or you’re out getting drinks
to celebrate closing
the magazine,
549
00:31:26,538 --> 00:31:30,179
or you’re chasing some writer
or investor, or you’re
tearing up the layout,
550
00:31:30,212 --> 00:31:32,584
and if it’s not the magazine,
it’s a Kennedy benefit
551
00:31:32,617 --> 00:31:35,523
or a fundraiser
or a Senate run.
552
00:31:35,556 --> 00:31:37,359
So you don’t support it.
553
00:31:39,029 --> 00:31:40,098
[sighs]
554
00:31:41,133 --> 00:31:42,937
I support you.
555
00:31:45,141 --> 00:31:48,114
And I’d support it if I really
thought it was something
you believed in,
556
00:31:48,147 --> 00:31:51,487
but everything for you
comes out of this misplaced
sense of obligation.
557
00:31:52,389 --> 00:31:54,227
Like your lunch idea.
558
00:31:54,260 --> 00:31:56,231
I specifically set aside
two lunches a week,
559
00:31:56,264 --> 00:31:58,101
so that I can spend time
with you.
560
00:31:58,134 --> 00:32:00,405
That’s not the same
as wanting to spend time
with me.
561
00:32:00,438 --> 00:32:03,211
-[John] It’s literally
the same thing.
-No, lunch is a checkbox.
562
00:32:04,113 --> 00:32:06,652
It’s something
you can tell yourself
to absolve yourself of guilt.
563
00:32:06,685 --> 00:32:08,989
-What guilt?
-You don’t want
to be around me.
564
00:32:11,260 --> 00:32:13,031
You don’t want to talk to me.
565
00:32:13,064 --> 00:32:14,133
Half the time, you’re sleeping
in the other room.
566
00:32:14,166 --> 00:32:15,503
I talk to you all the time.
567
00:32:15,536 --> 00:32:18,307
No, John,
you’re not interested in me.
568
00:32:18,776 --> 00:32:21,080
You don’t solicit my advice.
569
00:32:21,113 --> 00:32:23,151
You’re not fascinated
by what I want to say.
570
00:32:23,184 --> 00:32:24,755
You’re not curious about me.
571
00:32:24,788 --> 00:32:27,026
You talk to me just long enough
to keep the peace,
572
00:32:27,059 --> 00:32:29,363
just long enough
to prevent more conversation.
573
00:32:31,334 --> 00:32:34,508
You used to be desperate
to spend every single second
with me,
574
00:32:34,541 --> 00:32:36,712
and now you treat our marriage
like it’s this layover
575
00:32:36,745 --> 00:32:39,016
between places
that you really want to be.
576
00:32:40,620 --> 00:32:42,289
And I get it.
577
00:32:44,493 --> 00:32:47,767
I imagine it’s tough seeing
how unhappy you make me.
578
00:32:57,486 --> 00:32:58,755
You know what?
579
00:32:59,356 --> 00:33:00,491
It is.
580
00:33:07,507 --> 00:33:10,245
And that’s all I seem
to be capable of lately...
581
00:33:11,447 --> 00:33:13,117
is disappointing people.
582
00:33:13,919 --> 00:33:17,761
I spend all day fighting
with publishers,
investors, bankers,
583
00:33:17,794 --> 00:33:21,267
all telling me
to take my magazine out back
and shoot it in the head.
584
00:33:21,869 --> 00:33:26,044
And then I come home
and I fight with you
about how I’m never home.
585
00:33:26,077 --> 00:33:28,348
And then I go to bed each night
dreading the moment I get up
586
00:33:28,381 --> 00:33:30,587
and having to do it
all over again.
587
00:33:30,620 --> 00:33:33,458
And the worst part
about it is that I wanna talk
to you about all of this,
588
00:33:33,491 --> 00:33:36,230
but you feel
a million miles away.
589
00:33:36,263 --> 00:33:38,301
You’re here,
but you’re not here.
590
00:33:39,337 --> 00:33:43,512
And I miss you, Carolyn.
I miss the person
I fell in love with.
591
00:33:43,545 --> 00:33:45,481
John, I’m right here.
592
00:33:47,553 --> 00:33:49,824
I am the person
you fell in love with.
593
00:33:52,396 --> 00:33:54,133
But you don’t want
this version of me.
594
00:33:54,166 --> 00:33:56,772
You want... You want the cold,
unattainable,
595
00:33:56,805 --> 00:34:00,178
shiny version, the-the version
of me that’s like a trophy.
596
00:34:00,647 --> 00:34:03,118
I mean, the moment I started
being vulnerable
with you, you--
597
00:34:03,151 --> 00:34:04,821
You think
you’re vulnerable with me?
598
00:34:06,190 --> 00:34:10,465
To be vulnerable,
you’d actually have to want
something and need something.
599
00:34:10,498 --> 00:34:13,806
The only thing you seem
to want to do is tell me again
and again and again
600
00:34:13,839 --> 00:34:16,110
how much you hate our life.
601
00:34:16,143 --> 00:34:17,647
I knew it. I knew it.
I should never have let
my guard down.
602
00:34:17,680 --> 00:34:20,351
[stutters] I broke my own rule.
I’m so dumb.
603
00:34:22,189 --> 00:34:24,393
-I’ve just been bracing myself.
-For what?
604
00:34:24,426 --> 00:34:26,130
[Carolyn] I’m always bracing
myself, John.
605
00:34:26,163 --> 00:34:29,103
I have spent my entire life
just bracing myself
606
00:34:29,136 --> 00:34:32,142
for these terrible things
to happen to me
and deal with them alone.
607
00:34:32,175 --> 00:34:34,179
And this is no different
from any of that.
608
00:34:35,382 --> 00:34:37,219
You knew who I was
before you married me.
609
00:34:37,252 --> 00:34:40,224
[Carolyn] God, I wish people
would stop telling me that.
610
00:34:40,926 --> 00:34:42,663
No one knows
who they’re marrying.
611
00:34:43,799 --> 00:34:45,335
Apparently not.
612
00:34:50,713 --> 00:34:52,817
People are supposed
to change, John.
613
00:34:54,219 --> 00:34:55,689
-I didn’t.
-[scoffs]
614
00:34:56,558 --> 00:35:00,131
You say that like it’s
a virtue, like it’s...
like it’s somehow commendable.
615
00:35:01,735 --> 00:35:03,539
You haven’t made any space
for me in your life.
616
00:35:03,572 --> 00:35:05,910
Tell me one thing
that you have changed
in your life
617
00:35:05,943 --> 00:35:08,181
since we’ve been married.
618
00:35:08,214 --> 00:35:10,252
You live in the same loft,
you have the same job,
the same friends,
619
00:35:10,285 --> 00:35:12,657
you spend the same weekends
at Red Gate or Hyannis,
620
00:35:12,690 --> 00:35:14,493
the same schedule.
621
00:35:16,197 --> 00:35:19,604
Everything
in my life has changed.
Do you understand that?
622
00:35:19,637 --> 00:35:21,541
That’s your choice.
623
00:35:22,209 --> 00:35:24,213
You act like every misfortune
in your life
624
00:35:24,246 --> 00:35:26,417
is the result of
some ultimatum I’ve given you,
625
00:35:26,450 --> 00:35:29,457
like you have zero agency
in this relationship.
626
00:35:29,490 --> 00:35:32,630
I didn’t make you
quit your job.
I didn’t make you marry me.
627
00:35:32,663 --> 00:35:36,270
I didn’t tell you
to let the tabloids ruin
your life. But you know what?
628
00:35:36,303 --> 00:35:38,576
I think there’s a part of you
that enjoys this shit
with the press.
629
00:35:38,609 --> 00:35:41,347
-Excuse me?
-[John] Yeah,
so you can lord it over me.
630
00:35:41,380 --> 00:35:43,619
Punish me with it,
fault me endlessly
631
00:35:43,652 --> 00:35:46,625
for not controlling things
outside of my control.
632
00:35:46,658 --> 00:35:48,729
You relish it.
633
00:35:48,762 --> 00:35:50,600
It’s like you have no identity
outside of your own victimhood.
634
00:35:50,633 --> 00:35:54,608
Thank you. Thank you.
You love how hated I am.
635
00:35:54,641 --> 00:35:56,444
Of course you do,
because you’re America’s son,
636
00:35:56,477 --> 00:35:59,884
and I am just another tragedy
you bravely endure.
637
00:36:08,367 --> 00:36:12,843
Well. Yeah, I think
I may have hit my limit.
638
00:36:17,553 --> 00:36:19,322
What are you talking about?
639
00:36:24,968 --> 00:36:27,406
[Carolyn] John,
what are you talking about?
640
00:36:27,439 --> 00:36:31,280
Maybe I’ve endured enough
tragedy for one lifetime.
641
00:36:31,313 --> 00:36:33,217
Fuck. [groans]
642
00:36:33,986 --> 00:36:35,221
[groans]
643
00:36:40,533 --> 00:36:42,268
John, come back.
644
00:36:44,373 --> 00:36:45,374
John!
645
00:36:46,945 --> 00:36:49,650
John, what are you doing?
[panting]
646
00:36:51,788 --> 00:36:52,790
What...
647
00:36:53,224 --> 00:36:54,627
I can’t keep doing this.
648
00:36:55,563 --> 00:36:57,767
[panting]
649
00:36:57,800 --> 00:36:59,504
What are you talking about?
650
00:36:59,938 --> 00:37:02,042
Doing what? What are you...
What are you talking about?
651
00:37:02,075 --> 00:37:04,714
Everything and everyone I touch
falls apart,
652
00:37:04,747 --> 00:37:07,452
and now
this is falling apart too.
653
00:37:07,485 --> 00:37:10,726
And I just think that
if I stay, I’m gonna do or say
something that I’ll regret.
654
00:37:10,759 --> 00:37:12,963
L-Like what? Like what, John?
655
00:37:13,532 --> 00:37:15,703
[John] I’ll be at the Stanhope.
Just a day or two.
656
00:37:15,736 --> 00:37:18,508
[Carolyn] No, J-John, just say
what you were gonna say.
657
00:37:19,276 --> 00:37:21,314
There is nothing
you can say to me
658
00:37:21,347 --> 00:37:23,685
that would hurt me more
than you walking out that door.
659
00:37:24,621 --> 00:37:26,792
Do you know what it’s like
to see it in your eyes
660
00:37:26,825 --> 00:37:28,996
that I’m failing
at this marriage?
661
00:37:29,029 --> 00:37:31,801
Like I failed as a lawyer
and now I’m failing
as a magazine editor.
662
00:37:32,670 --> 00:37:35,877
I couldn’t help my mom.
And I can’t help Anthony.
663
00:37:35,910 --> 00:37:38,414
And I don’t think I can handle
another failure right now.
664
00:37:38,447 --> 00:37:39,449
[Carolyn] No, John.
665
00:37:42,990 --> 00:37:45,662
When I told you
everything ends,
you said not us.
666
00:37:47,800 --> 00:37:50,305
What happened to not us, John?
667
00:37:50,338 --> 00:37:52,877
What happened to not us?
What happened to not us?
668
00:37:52,910 --> 00:37:54,981
What happened to not us?
669
00:37:56,050 --> 00:37:59,389
[sobs] What happened to not us?
670
00:37:59,924 --> 00:38:02,630
When I told you
everything ends,
you said not us.
671
00:38:02,663 --> 00:38:04,734
What happened to not us?
672
00:38:06,003 --> 00:38:07,005
[Carolyn sobs]
673
00:38:11,046 --> 00:38:12,449
This isn’t ending.
674
00:38:12,482 --> 00:38:13,818
Yes, it is.
675
00:38:15,956 --> 00:38:17,660
You’re running away.
676
00:38:17,693 --> 00:38:19,396
I don’t want
to keep hurting you, Carolyn.
677
00:38:19,429 --> 00:38:21,067
-[Carolyn sobbing]
-I wanna be with you.
678
00:38:21,100 --> 00:38:22,737
Then be with me.
679
00:38:22,770 --> 00:38:24,472
I don’t wanna fight.
680
00:38:27,045 --> 00:38:28,548
You have to.
681
00:38:29,383 --> 00:38:32,590
[pants] That’s what people do.
They fight. They stay,
they fight.
682
00:38:32,623 --> 00:38:34,995
If we keep fighting,
we’re gonna lose each other.
683
00:38:35,028 --> 00:38:37,867
[Carolyn pants]
Please don’t leave me.
684
00:38:38,936 --> 00:38:40,505
Please.
685
00:38:48,956 --> 00:38:51,126
Please don’t prove
my mother right.
686
00:38:59,577 --> 00:39:01,614
I’m coming back, I promise.
687
00:39:02,717 --> 00:39:04,452
[sobbing]
688
00:39:10,599 --> 00:39:11,801
[John] I love you.
689
00:39:41,628 --> 00:39:44,099
[crying]
690
00:39:48,107 --> 00:39:49,109
[elevator dings]
691
00:39:50,011 --> 00:39:52,448
[elevator whooshes]
692
00:39:56,524 --> 00:39:59,592
[sobbing]
56445
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