Original subtitles

G'day, Jeremy. Hey, Dad. How you doing?

Yeah, good to see you, mate.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, nice to see you. Oh, thanks. Thanks.

How are you? Really well.

Yeah, I mean, again, just really grateful for the financial support so far.

I mean, you know, if there's any way that you might be able to provide a little more help.

Yeah, look, thing is, Jeremy, I know you're not my son.

I know it was a scam.

No, I mean, you met my mum at that conference in Christchurch.

You were calling me son. Yeah, it felt real nice.

Sorry, so when did you figure it out?

Well, it was pretty obvious straight away, I mean...

Sorry, I'm just having a hard time with this. It's just never gone this way.

So does everyone know? Yeah, yeah, everyone knows.

They don't mind or...? Well, yeah, they do.

Okay, well, then I might get going, actually, if that's all right.

Oh, hey Vinny. Is this him?

Oh, yeah, this is Jeremy? Yeah.

That was some fucking low-life shit, bro.

Oh, no, Vinny, don't worry about it. No, let me take care of this.

Why are you smiling like that, bro?

I should probably head off. You get the money? Should you get the money back?

No, it's fine. We've sorted it out.

No.

Hey! Hey!

I want his money.

I can't strictly get you the money is the thing.

I've actually already reinvested it into a sort of a cryptocurrency opportunity

that you might be interested in. I'm not interested in any bullshit scams.

I don't believe anything you're saying. Where's the money?

The thing is, I'm going to leave. I'm going to leave Jared alone.

He's a nice man. I feel like we sort of bonded weirdly.

He's also very vulnerable in a way that I find worrying

and sort of don't want to get involved with.

Well, yeah, you're pounced on that vulnerability.

I know. To begin with, it was good and then it fell...

Listen, listen. I don't really want to be chatting with a scammer.

Sure.

My grandma got scammed and it's disgusting. You do it out of the elderly.

How did she get scammed?

Am I going to tell you how she got scammed?

Sure. Yeah.

The main thing is, leave Jared alone. Okay?

Are you sure you're going to go with Moe you down? It's a bit aggressive.

Is it?

Yeah. Sounds like you're going to Moe someone down with a car.

Can't change the logo. I've already spent the money.

I've got no more money left. Could I Moe you all on Mr. Needham?

I don't actually have a lawn, Robert.

Right.

Moe in there. You go, Jared.

I was just about to suggest to Mr. Needham that I could have my 50th birthday here later on today.

Oh, what a lovely idea.

Yeah. I don't think it's a good idea.

Well, I was hoping to have it in the school hall, if I could.

Well, the school hall's going to cost you $1,700.

Well, normally we don't charge $1,700, Jared.

I don't know where you got that from.

Yes, we do. Yes, we do.

We don't.

Maybe I could have it in the staff room.

Oh, that's a lovely idea.

You have a lot of birthdays in the staff room.

The staff room's going to be $1,000 for the day.

Oh, Jared, don't be so miserable.

OK.

My son's a goth DJ, and he's always looking for a bit of extra work if he need music.

No, we're not having a goth DJ at morning tea.

Thank you so much, Mr. Needham.

Yeah, OK.

I'll leave that one for you.

I don't have a lawn.

Last thing on the agenda, we've got a K9 drugs unit on the school grounds today.

That here today?

Yeah.

Is that a joke?

No. Students' parents have all signed consent forms.

Yeah.

It's been invasive, isn't it?

Well, you didn't care about it last year.

Didn't I?

No.

What are the dogs sniffing for exactly, though?

What type of drugs do you reckon?

Can you stop asking questions and making such a big deal out of it?

Me?

Yeah, because you keep asking questions and we're going to be trapped here.

I'm just asking you a question.

I'm not making a fuss about it.

Does everyone think I'm making a fuss?

Yeah.

OK, everybody, have a lovely day.

OK, what's going on?

I'm, like, 90% sure.

I've got a little bag of pills in my shed.

And I lost them.

And I think they're still fucking in there somewhere.

What kind of pills?

Just, like, a couple of pegs.

Ecstasy.

Oh, ecstasy.

Yes, they're naked.

Why would you keep pills in your shed?

Because I sometimes want to go on tinder dates after school

and I'll chew a little bit of one just to get some energy up.

The problem is, though, is when you do take ecstasy,

then you go home to have sex.

Yeah.

Pill dick.

What is that?

So small.

Does it shrink it?

It's... this isn't an exaggeration.

It's... it's that.

No, it's...

I'm serious.

So would you take a pill if you thought you had a chance

of having sex that night?

Robert, I don't want to talk about it.

I want to talk about sniff a dog.

OK, sure.

OK?

I'm just a bit stressed out because maybe do I need to, like,

create some sort of distraction?

Like, try and, like, confuse it.

Maybe, like, lie a little fire in the sports shed.

Don't lie to fire in the sports shed.

I just want to know what's the route the dog takes.

Like, where do they start?

What time do they get here?

Can you text me when you see it arrive?

Pause your voice.

OK.

I'm sorry.

I'm a little bit stressed out.

When was the last time you saw the drugs?

About three months ago.

OK, where were they?

In the sports shed!

Yeah, OK, whereabouts in the sports shed?

I don't know.

Close your eyes.

And then tell me what you see in your mind.

One, two, three.

Jail.

I think I'm going to go to jail.

How are you going with those, man?

Yeah, yeah.

Anything?

Not yet.

Just like, just do that.

I can see there's nothing in there.

So, move on to something else.

Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Don't come in here, please.

We're just trying to put our hockey stuff back.

Oh, you just leave it outside, OK?

I'm doing a bit of a clean-out.

Are there rats in here?

Well, I don't know.

Why would I have rats?

Why is all the gear outside?

Because I'm doing a clean-out, Jasmine.

Have you seen the sniffer dogs?

No, not yet.

OK, well, if you see them,

nip back here and just let us know.

Why?

Because I love dogs and I want to pad it before it leaves.

Yeah, OK.

OK.

Thank you.

Is that too much?

Yeah.

All staff to the staff room for a special morning tea.

Repeat, all staff to the staff room.

Thank you.

OK, just relax.

You'll find them.

Yeah, but what if I die?

I'm fucked.

How are you going, love?

Good. Happy birthday.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Thank you for coming.

You're looking lovely.

Goodness, you've grown up.

Dad, you saw me last week.

Yeah, I know, but what I mean is,

in general, you've grown up really fast.

Like, you used to be my little girl.

Dad, don't do this again.

OK.

I'm sorry.

Just pull yourself together.

Yep.

It's a big day.

Yeah.

I thought a lot about turning 50

and it's so beautiful to see my here,

who's left school already,

and I'm following in your footsteps, almost.

And this is my mum and dad,

and this is actually my little brother, Brian.

He's made something of himself like you always say, mum.

You know, an apple doesn't fall far from a tree.

You know, I fell quite a long way,

but I feel like I'm now working my way

back towards a tree with my new lawn mowing business.

Actually, I've got some flyers made.

The first mow's on me.

Don't hand your flyers out.

Thank you.

Yeah, I'll grab one as well for you.

Brian?

Oh, no, I've got my guys.

OK.

Everybody, well done, Robert.

It's been a tough few years for you at school, hasn't it?

Yeah.

Off you go into the big, wide world.

Well, it's not really goodbye for me,

because my son Leon's about to start here next year,

and I'm looking forward to coming back

and see Leon through school.

No, no, you're not coming back, Robert.

You really need to focus on your lawn mowing career now, Robert.

OK, just drop your kid off at the gate like a normal parent.

OK, we'll see.

Happy birthday to you.

Oh.

Happy birthday to you.

Happy birthday, dear Robert.

Happy birthday to you.

You make a wish.

Happy birthday!

Oh, lovely.

Oh, lovely.

Thanks, Sherry.

Bye.

Oh, thank God.

These were good, too.

Hey, Mr Thompson.

Hey! Good day, Jasmine.

The dogs are here.

Are they?

Yeah. OK, great.

Thank you.

Are you going to come pet them?

I don't think so.

Oh.

OK, thank you.

OK.

Shit.

What are we going to do?

We should probably get this stuff back inside.

Yep.

See, Clue?

See?

Don't worry about the dogs.

You're more scared of them.

How's it going?

We are more scared of them than they are of us.

No, that's not it.

If you show fear, then they attack.

No, no, no.

They're train-sniffing dogs.

They're not going to attack.

They wouldn't be using train-sniffing dogs

if they did attack, would they?

Seek.

Seek.

Oh.

Could you just open your bag

and pull out your lunchbox, please?

Yeah, sure.

Yes.

Could you open that up for me?

Thank you.

Okay.

And, um, where did you get this from?

Is there a problem?

I think we've got another one here.

Oh, you're kidding.

That's my lunch.

Do you know where this came from, mate?

My mum got it from the supermarket.

Whip it open. Let's have a look.

No, it's going to have to go back to the lab, mate.

Just open it now

and just show us what he's got in there.

Sorry, Jared, I think there's a misunderstanding.

We're actually the fruit dog team.

All right.

Is that why they've been finding all the fruit?

Yeah.

What are you doing?

Are you trying to psych me out?

I'm just...

You and I both know that you can't type as fast as I can, Georgina.

I'm just trying to send you an e-mail, Sheree.

I'm actually finding you quite passive-aggressive, Georgina.

Sorry, Sheree. I didn't realise that...

Georgina?

Um, could you please type that up?

I can't read it. I need it in a larger font.

Using the wrong font, Georgina.

Sorry, so you just said this font isn't OK

and you just want it in a bigger font?

I'll do it, Jared.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to...

Sorry.

Snap out of it, Georgina.

Jared, I'm going to have to pull her down

on an HR report for this.

You don't need to do her porches, having her crying.

No, she needs to go and see Robyn.

That's the protocol of someone crying at work, Jared.

Can we just skip it?

Well, I've already drafted the e-mail, so...

Yeah, we'll just don't send it.

It's too late.

But you just send it?

Of course.

Detective Mike Fleming, cybercrime task force.

Jared. Jared, need him?

I think I know what this is about. Right.

It's about my son Jeremy. Right.

Yeah, Jeremy. He's not your son.

You know this man is doing what he's doing to you

to many other people. Yeah. Right.

You'll be pleased to know I think we can get you the money back.

I don't want to back a gambit to him. Right.

Under false pretenses.

No, I gave him the money as a gift

so he could get ahead and get his son

some quality childcare.

I did want to go and visit his son, but he said no.

And why do you think that is?

Well, because he doesn't exist.

Yes, it was a story.

You knew it was a story and yet you still gave him the money.

Yes.

So I'll leave my bag here then.

Leave it there and we'll... Yeah.

Yeah, you boys off too.

Jared's just helping us with our investigation.

Was he in trouble or something?

He's not in trouble, not yet. He's just helping us.

Not yet? Is he under arrest?

He's not under arrest. He's volunteered to help us.

Yeah, I'm willing to help. Yeah.

He doesn't know anything. He's like a child.

He doesn't even function properly in the adult world.

What's your lawyer's name, Jared?

I don't have a lawyer.

I'm going to call my lawyer.

Hang on a minute.

Carol. Carol.

Carol, that's Sheree Pivak.

Yeah.

He's a detective taking Jared into custody for questioning.

Well, where are you?

In the water.

I've always wanted to go there.

Oh, Stephanie's getting married.

Oh, that's lovely.

Say hello to Dave.

OK, bye-bye. Bye-bye.

Oh.

There's a sign-in and a sign-out sheet

because I don't want you guys in here.

I don't care about your band or whatever it is.

Yeah.

Oh, sorry.

Hey, guys.

I just want to let you know

that thing sort of...

Oh!

Yeah.

You found your bag?

Found it. Yeah, I found my...

It was my bag.

Yeah, I found it.

But you found the bag.

And where did you put it?

Just popped it away.

Oh, where?

Oh, you put your bag inside?

Oh, you put your bag inside?

Oh, you put your bag inside?

Oh, that's interesting

because I also wanted to tell you

that those drug dogs, yeah,

were actually fruit dogs.

Jared's mistake.

They booked the wrong dogs.

Biohazard kind of thing.

So...

What?

Also didn't need to worry about your lost bag.

I've got to go get some pringes or something.

I've got to take care of something.

Is that how you do it?

Yeah, I've got to go.

Yeah, you know, lost is bag.

What I need to impress upon you

is that you could be in quite a lot of trouble.

You're consorting with a known cyber criminal.

We're calling him the chameleon at the moment

because of his ability to shapeshift

in digital form.

I thought the shadow was the better name,

but I was voted out.

The shadow.

It's nice.

So he wants to know whether you would be willing

to help us.

All right.

Yeah.

You saw him, met him,

spoke to him.

Yes.

In the flesh.

Tell me about that.

He's got a whimsical charm to him.

He's got a curious smile

as if he's got a secret going on.

Yeah.

That's because he does have a secret, Jared.

He is dark here.

A lot like mine.

I can imagine him at the age of five

running into the room, face covered in food,

going, Dad, Dad, look what I made at Kindi.

And he's drawn me in crayons,

him as well,

standing under a tree,

sun in the corner.

Would have whacked it on the fridge.

We had to make toast.

What I'd like you to do

is to help us identify him

in a very real way.

So if we pull back from

projection and fantasy and we go

into the region of your eyes,

yeah, yeah.

Right, OK, why were you crying?

Well, I guess about the fact that I'm back here,

you know, working.

Yeah.

Part-time in the school.

Not where I thought I'd be.

No, it is sad, but it's just a part-time job.

We all have to work.

Just because I left uni,

actually.

You've quit uni?

Yeah.

I got a B plus.

And?

And that's the worst mark I've ever received in my life.

I have never got under an A minus.

So you quit uni.

And what did your parents say?

I haven't told them yet.

What do you think your parents will say?

I think they'll be furious.

Yeah, I think so.

I think they're going to hurt the roof.

Yeah, I know.

I can feel it.

It's like right here.

My chest feels tight all the time.

You know what you need?

Gap year.

You've got through high school.

Congratulations.

You need to let go.

Just go traveling.

You need to get a van.

Get a guy.

Get a guy in the van.

You need to get one of those little gas burners

and a little pot and a bottle of tequila.

Yeah, alright.

So you're saying I should just go on a road trip.

Yeah, go down the west coast.

Queenstown.

Where all the young people go?

Wanaka.

So I guess what I would have to do

is get a ferry from the North Island

and go down.

I guess they would get into Nelson

and then we would go and get a car.

I guess we'd pick it up from the terminal.

You've got to stop yourself from doing this.

It doesn't matter.

I mean, you said we.

You don't even have a boyfriend yet.

Great rally.

Wish we had some music.

Come on in.

Guys, how good was that class?

It was alright.

S-P-E task?

I've had that.

Really?

That's because of you guys.

Just everyone look around.

This is a special group.

Everyone look around and just look each other's eyes.

I'm sorry, I've been a prick.

I yelled at you last week, man.

I'm sorry for that.

Are you alright, Mr Thompson?

Yeah, I'm great.

Yeah.

Alright, guys.

High fives bring it in.

Everyone, high five in each other.

Not just me.

Great class, guys.

Great class.

Let's do it again tomorrow.

Alright.

So here we have five suspects.

They're all known perpetrators of cybercrime.

They match your description.

So just take a long look.

Can they see me?

No, no, I said one way mirror.

I feel like they can see me.

No, they...

So, um, one to five.

Take your time.

Yeah.

Alright.

Number two, I reckon.

You sure about that?

Yeah.

Yeah?

Yep.

Number two, step forward, please.

Oh, sorry.

Whoops.

Not him.

It's number two.

It's that guy.

Right, so you're not counting from the left?

No, I'm counting from the right.

That's one, two, three, four, five.

I just assumed you were counting in a conventional way.

Left to right.

It's like a book.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I can see how it's confusing for you, though.

For me.

But never mind.

Yeah.

Okay, number two, step back.

Number four, step forward, please.

Is that the chameleon?

That's the chameleon.

That's definite.

Okay.

We'll, uh, everyone step away except for number four.

Thank you.

So what's gonna happen to him?

Well, we'll keep him in custody and continue our investigations.

So thank you very much.

Thank you.

Okay.

Jared.

Jared.

Hey.

Get out of here.

No, no, no, no.

Jared, don't, don't.

We can't.

We just gotta keep it on the table.

Yeah.

I just wanted to say thank you so much for, for not, you know,

dobbling me in...

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, no worries.

Yeah.

Could you see me through that mirror?

Just at the beginning.

The light was on and we could just kind of totally see you guys.

Yeah, thought so.

Yeah.

I see you've shaved off the mustache.

Oh, I didn't...

That was a fake mustache.

I just took it off.

Really?

Yeah.

Wow.

It looked very real.

Thank you.

That's the idea.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Excellent.

Okay.

So how are you going, son?

You good?

You eating well?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, good.

What are you working on now?

Um...

I'm fixing people's computers.

Right.

But, um...

Yeah, but then you can...

Nice.

Obviously once you've got access in there...

You know, you should come and fix my computer.

No, Jared, I think...

And we maybe need to part ways just for kind of my own...

Well, you just...

You let me know what you need.

Just to qualify.

I can own all this.

What I'm enjoying is being a nearly dad.

And that doesn't necessarily have to involve you in an emotional way.

Okay, I wish all the best.

Should we get lunch sometime?

No, no.

This is the end of this.

Now, okay?

All right, you give us a call if you need anything, okay?

You look after yourself, son.

Right.

I'm not your son.

Couldn't find it.

The bag split.

We're just chillin', eh?

Yeah, just chillin'.

Or a beer?

Let's do it now.

It's having a good time, man.

How long does this kind of thing go on for?

Eight hours?

Eight hours?

Do we take it in shifts or something?

I don't know where you should hear this song, man.

Yeah, we can hear it.

Can you take him back home to yours?

Back to mine?

Yeah.

I have to book rentals to bed at six.

Okay, well, I'll drive him back to my place.

Yes, come on, buddy!

Oh, can I hang my head out in the window?

Yeah.

Just feel the wind in my hair.

Oh, just like a dog.

Yeah, yeah.

And then I'm gonna drop him at your place.

I'm gonna get a dog.

Okay.

Call it Benji.

Okay, I'm gonna go and check that the coast is clear.

Hey, Benji.

Benji.

Benji.

Okay, you just gotta keep it real quiet, all right?

Yeah.

Shall we go?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Now turn it down.

Where's Rah?

Yeah, yeah.

Fuck all of me.

Yeah, I love you.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.