Original subtitles

Hollypups out. That's it. Got some people ready to cross. And then safe to cross.

Sorry, who's this? Oh, that's just Miss Duffy.

Good morning, Miss Duffy. How are we this morning?

Good, thank you.

Sorry, I just noticed you putting a teddy bear in the back there.

Maybe that wasn't anything to do with dodging the T2 lane cameras?

Oh, just my daughter's teddy bear. She had a slumber party. I picked her up and...

I just noticed it was strapped in. Would I be able to see your license, please, Miss Duffy?

It's here somewhere.

I also can't help but notice that you are currently parked in a disabled car park.

Is mobility an issue for you?

No, it's not. It was, but it's not now. I'm often running a little bit late.

It's more like it's reserved for me.

Interesting. Miss Duffy, were you able to see the lollipops in the...

obviously the safety exercise we were running with the children?

I noticed you actually drove on to the grassy mound and off,

which I would consider reckless driving.

So how old are you?

I turned 30 last month.

OK, well, you look like you're a kid going out for trick or treat.

OK, so I am getting increasingly anxious about my mentally ill students waiting for me.

Well, I'm just going to put this through the system.

Please stay in your car.

Miss Duffy, sorry that took a little bit longer than expected,

with today's laundry list of things that have gone on.

It puts you to a total of 135 demerit points today.

Happy with that.

Which means I have to revoke your license.

No, no, no, sorry.

OK, well, that's not going to work because I need my car.

We actually have really good public transport here.

There's actually a bus stop.

I'm not going to be using public transport.

Because I use my car, I put probably more than most people,

because I use it to relax and I use it to drive in.

You know, it's not just an A to B, it's like a safe haven for me.

Woman to woman. Why don't we just drop this?

Let's take a deep breath, yeah?

And let's start again.

Hi, I'm Miss Duffy. Lovely to meet you.

Hi. Officer.

I think we can just call it a day.

Stephanie Walsh, you still have 135 demerit points

and your license is still revoked.

So Stephanie, what I want to suggest is 100 bucks.

Is that a bribe? Yeah.

Bribing a police officer is actually another offence,

so I would recommend that... $500 cash.

I would recommend that we move on from this conversation.

Now, I'm happy for you to go inside your place of work.

I don't want you to be late for your mentally unwell student

that you mentioned earlier. I just made that up, I just made that up.

So, did you nearly hear the care?

No, of course I didn't nearly had a kid.

Also, why was she making a big fuss?

Because the lollipops were out.

So I just made a new screen.

And I wave and I just do the chicane around it.

Yeah, we can't do that. Were the kids crossing it?

Yeah, but it's my zebra crossing.

It's not your. She said I can't drive. I've lost my license.

I mean, how am I going to...

Oh, no.

Sorry, can you not smile while you say, oh, no?

Sorry, sorry, I just...

Don't worry about it. People lose their licenses all the time.

No, they don't. Okay, not people like me

who just need their cars more than other people, okay?

Okay, what's going on?

Okay. My sister's coming to visit.

Because mum's organized some big lunch where we're going to scatter Dad's ashes.

What? I thought he died ages ago.

Yeah, he did like six years ago, but mum lost the ashes.

How do you lose ashes?

I don't know, Vinnie. The point is, my sister's coming

and I just wanted to drive her around like a normal person

so she doesn't think I'm a loser.

You can't drive through this ever-crossing.

Don't tell me what I can and cannot do.

It's everybody's favourite time of the year.

I am happy to announce that the school production

will be an incredible adaptation of The Crucible

into a modern age era.

And I'm going to call it The Witches of Sochmed.

What's it said in the Mediterranean?

No, no. It stands for social media.

But it's also a crazy town called Sochmed.

Sorry, Judy. That's not going to be the show this year.

Of course it is. I'm announcing it.

The show's going to be called Aliens, Aliens, Aliens.

What are you talking about?

It's about a bunch of teenagers who get abducted by aliens...

So what?

and then end up going to Mars.

Well, you can't come to my announcement

and over-announce my announcement.

Well, I had to because you made an announcement

that's not correct.

This is absolutely ridiculous.

You can still direct it.

My hands will not be on that.

Fantastic.

It's nice to have something that's coming from the kids' minds, you know?

Something that the kids actually want to do for them.

How dare you?

Can you not do that Shakespearean, voicy thing, please?

It's not fair.

It was a shit idea.

It's not fair.

Someone's pitched a better idea.

I think we should have a vote or something.

Like, you know, this can't just be it.

All right.

Who votes for the witches of Sochmed?

Ooh.

And for Aliens, Aliens, Aliens.

So that's 9-1.

Raa.

Raa.

Not supporting me, Bentley.

What the hell is that about?

I don't think two votes would have changed anything.

That's typical, really, isn't it?

What's typical?

You! Not supporting me.

I do support you.

How?

All the time.

OK, name one time you've supported me.

You want one time?

Yeah.

In the last year,

you've been out 35 times

while I've been looking after Reynolds.

And I've been out once.

And on that night, your sister looked after him.

My sister came over to support me

while I was being a solo parent.

You're not a solo parent.

Well, I was that night.

Where were you?

Have you been counting how many times

I've been out this year?

Well, I was just checking my calendar

and it all came up.

What?

Yeah.

Like, they etched it up.

Like, you're in prison or something.

Like, it cast away.

Yeah.

Oh, fuck.

You drive me fucking nuts.

I'm done. I am done with this.

We're through.

I'm off.

All the best.

Good luck. Hope you're happy.

Is this about aliens, aliens, aliens?

Yeah.

Ding, ding, ding.

Well done.

Please consider this my resignation.

OK.

That's it. You don't want to...

No.

OK.

So, yeah.

She's a fucking handful of what she is.

Yeah, well, there's no need to swear.

OK, oh well. She's an effing handful, then, Jared.

Everyone knows what you mean by effing.

That's right. Good. I want them to.

Could you just not, though?

We've had enough of that for today.

My point is, we need someone to cover her drama classes

until we can find someone permanent, so...

Why doesn't really do it?

Oh, yeah.

It's the obvious choice.

Yeah, he's the obvious choice. He's the relieving teacher.

OK, great.

So, you're going to sort that out?

Yep, I'll do it.

Talk to Rudy and just put the ad in the Gazette.

Oh, I'll do it. I don't have much else to do.

Well, you do, Malcolm.

You still haven't fixed the virus on Jared's computer, have you?

Mum, we've talked about the virus.

The virus is a friend, Mum.

The virus is a what?

The virus is part of the biodiversity

of the technical network of this operation.

Don't talk like that. It's gobbledygook.

How dare you call it gobbledygook?

It is my area of expertise.

It is making no sense whatsoever, Malcolm.

Well, it might not make any sense to you.

That's why I'm here. That's why you brought me in, Mum.

You're acting like a child, Malcolm.

I am 29 years old.

Yes, exactly, but you're not acting your age, are you?

I am acting as I think is completely appropriate.

Well, it's not appropriate for you to be stuck in your bedroom

for 10 years playing video games while I bring you pizza.

I love World of Warcraft. It's my safe space.

Yes, but it's not my safe space, is it?

I don't know if I want to do this anymore.

This whole family co-working thing is not working out.

That's it. I'm done.

Guys.

Thank you very much for nothing.

Well, great.

What's going on?

The duty broke up.

True.

Yeah.

Well, you just clocked like quietly inside like,

fuck yes.

So, who's leaving?

Like, is she making you leave?

No, there's a thing she calls nesting.

Have you heard of that?

Nesting?

So, Reynolds stays in the house.

Right.

His nest.

And then we come and go on a weekly basis.

Where are you going to go?

Are you going to rent some sort of shitty apartment or something?

That's going to be fucking axy, man.

Have you still got your spare room?

What's that?

Have you still got your spare room?

I don't have a spare room, I think.

You do have a spare room?

Oh, yeah.

Yes.

No, it's now.

It's full of junk and stuff.

Oh, help you.

Empty it.

No, the thing is, I can't actually have anyone come and stay at my joint

because the landlord was like,

you can't have anyone staying there.

I thought you owned their house.

I do own it, yeah.

Yeah.

Body corp.

You know, it's all in the writing and you sign the document and all that.

Anyway, so you're going to be packing up your shit every week,

so what are you going to have to pack it overnight or a weekly bag?

Probably, yeah.

How many, like, sets of clothes do you reckon you'll put in that?

At least five?

Five.

Five undies.

Yeah.

My pajamas.

Pajamas?

Yeah.

Who wears pajamas?

I do.

Why?

Because it's nice.

Just wear, like, a pair of shorts to bed.

Like a man.

Or nothing.

Did you wear pajamas before, Judy?

No.

I used to sleep naked.

Because I go toilet a couple of times in the middle of the night.

Yeah, right.

And hop back into bed and...

Cool, man.

Hey, I've got to go to basketball.

Sorry, bro.

Oh, good.

But, good chat.

You going to hang out in here?

Is it okay?

Yeah, you can hang out in here.

You want this shut or...?

Yeah.

It's dark if I shut it.

That's all right.

Okay.

See you later, mate.

See ya.

Okay.

Now you want to start indicating, all right?

Okay, slow down a little bit.

Slow down.

Oh, great.

It's Malibu Gop.

Great.

Yeah.

Interesting.

Hello.

And who is in that car?

The driver.

Mm-hmm.

Jasmine.

And Jasmine's a student here?

Yeah.

Okay, and turn the keys off.

Morning, Mr. Fee.

Morning, Stephanie.

And Jasmine is it?

Yeah, morning.

Jasmine, what license would you like?

Do you be on?

Well, I'm on my learners.

I actually don't have it on me.

Ms. Duffy called me.

I had to run out of the house.

Was that to get to school on time?

Didn't we, Jasmine?

Right.

Would you be able to sort of run me through

the events that happened this morning?

Well, Ms. Duffy called me and I woke up,

and she just asked me to come...

No, just thinking if you were driving less than.

Oh, yeah, not driving less than.

Because Jasmine rang and said,

I need to learn to drive.

And I was like, it's a busy morning,

but let's do it.

I mean, you know...

Very generous of you.

Is that kind of roughly what happened?

Roughly, I think.

Yeah, roughly, roughly.

Jasmine, are you aware that in order to

have a driving lesson, the person in the passenger seat

has to be currently in the position

of an active full license?

Oh, they have to be a really, really good driver.

Yeah.

Yeah.

There's no offence by you today, Ms. Duffy.

But unfortunately, Jasmine, for you,

this is going to...

What?

Oh, yeah.

Obviously, you...

That's where you went wrong

because you didn't ask me about it.

But you're the one that called me in the morning.

Yeah, I know, but you need to ask me

whether I hold a current license.

And if that's right...

No, no.

You call me at 6.45 a.m.

Don't... Yeah, Stephanie is saying

you are the one to blame here.

So, Jasmine, I'm going to let you off

with a warning today.

Make sure you get to class on time, OK?

Yeah.

Ms. Duffy.

Oh, hello.

Hello.

What a lovely surprise.

Hiya.

How are you?

I'm good, how are you?

Oh, you're looking good.

Thank you.

I am here to apply for the part-time

administration role.

Oh.

But I thought you were at university full-time.

Oh, yes, no, I am.

But, um, you know, I can juggle it part-time.

That was a highly stressful job, Georgina.

I've had my son in here

and he couldn't act the pace.

Why don't you get a cafe job

or something waitressing or something like that?

Georgina.

Hello, Mr. Needer.

I'm just applying for the part-time admin role.

Ooh.

Yes.

Look at that.

That's very impressive.

And I've got a lot of references in there, so, yeah.

Well, there's only one thing that I would raise

and that is the ethical problems

of having someone that's just finished school

coming back in and having access to all the files.

I've got a problem with that.

Just don't look at any of the private stuff

of the students that you knew here.

No, yeah.

Also, I probably wouldn't read your own files.

Oh, what's in there?

What's in the file?

Oh, just assessments of your psychological makeup.

I've read it.

You've read it.

Oh, we've all read it.

Mm.

Where do you guys come up with this kind of stuff?

It's standard, like, alien human abduction scenario.

Oh.

And is it...

I'm sorry, because I've never actually seen

an alien show, TV show, or movie or anything like that.

Is it going to be a spaceship?

Yeah, hopefully.

Functioning spaceship?

More like a cardboard car or something.

With a small budget.

Mm-hmm.

Does it happen on Earth?

Yeah.

So when do the aliens come and be in the show?

What?

When are the aliens coming?

When do they start rehearsing?

Oh, no, they're not aliens.

It's just us.

Who's playing an alien?

We're not really sure yet.

You haven't figured it out yet,

and we don't know what the show is.

All we know is that's aliens, aliens, aliens, yeah.

I reckon we start by finding out an alien.

Will you give us a demonstration?

Ms Mocopoe flooding normally shows us what to do first.

OK, I'll show you, but don't let it influence what you guys do.

I just want full creativity from you guys, OK?

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Blah, blah, blah, blah.

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Your turn.

Show me. 1, 2, 3. Go.

Oh, no!

Beep beep!

Oh, good!

Oh, no!

Oh, no!

Hey, Vinnie.

What?

Vinnie, Vinnie, just hold up.

Oh.

No, no, no, just stop.

No, I think you're going to want to do something.

No, I'm not here. I just don't think it's going to be...

Yeah?

I just need a right hand after work.

Oh, come on. That's just made my day so much longer.

But what else are you going to do, you know?

Well, I was going to go to the gym.

You don't need to go to the gym. You look amazing.

Thank you.

Yeah, I've been doing three days on, one day off, then another three days.

I'm not that interested in all the details and stuff.

OK.

I just need a little ride home, OK? Come on.

Yeah, all right. OK. I'll give you a lift. Fine.

Also, it needs to be in my car.

Oh, fuck!

Because how am I going to get my car back otherwise, Vinnie?

OK, think about it.

What am I going to do about my car?

Just come back and get it.

OK.

OK.

Oh, my God.

One day. That's it. Just today.

Sure.

OK.

OK, then we just need to do a little tidy up before Catherine arrives.

What?

What?

What are you just mumbling?

I'm just saying, I really appreciate you helping me just do a little tidy up before my sister Catherine arrives.

OK, because she is...

She's on me. She'll be on me.

Is that it?

Yes.

You buy me some beers for this.

It won't actually be good to see your place, finally.

Yeah.

Yeah, think of it as a housewarming, OK?

Jesus.

On the property ladder?

Oh, no, Robyn.

Oh, no.

What?

This is an absolute mess.

You're torn out.

It was a mortgagee sale, all right?

What's that mean?

The last people couldn't service the mortgage.

Because they were dead.

Because they were on crack.

They were addicted to crack.

I don't get told if they're dead or not, do I?

What's that?

That is just the neighbor's fluffy little Rottweiler.

Look, I'm going inside.

Oh, no.

Hello.

There we are.

Come on in.

Oh, man.

So, yeah, this is it.

You know Lloyd?

Hi, Lloyd.

I'm a little bit of complimentary artwork

that came with the house.

And I've got the fireplace.

Yeah.

It's just, like, a little wood burner.

I called it on the thing.

What's that?

They're my, like, rustic wood logs, you know?

It's like that Danish uger thing,

where you make it all cosy and shit.

Um, Robyn, that's not rustic.

That's demolition wood.

That's not a problem, because I'm never going to burn it.

It's just for the impression.

Yeah, but you can't burn that, eh?

Yeah, actually, Robyn, you can't burn that.

I'm not going to burn it.

Oh, no.

So, I'm thinking, right?

Yeah.

I'll sort all this.

Oh, I've just seen the nose of a rat.

When Lloyd is feeling more comfortable,

he will deal with the rats.

Can you just, can we stay focused?

We haven't got a ticking clock.

Robyn!

Yeah?

What's this?

What's the downstairs?

I know it's the downstairs.

What's this caution table?

I don't know.

I'm just not allowed down there for a few months,

and they put the caution table.

Oh, okay.

So that's where they were cooking the meth.

Can you just not continue

to put down my first home, okay?

This is my first home, and I'm creating memories,

and I'm not enjoying this memory.

Either or more.

So what we need to do is we need to get the cleaning products,

and you need to clean my toilet, okay?

Okay.

Hello.

Oh, shit.

Hello.

Hi.

I thought we'd got the wrong place.

So I thought it was like a sort of project or something.

It is kind of a project, actually.

I like it. It looks gangster.

Thank you, Charlie.

I think it's gangster, too.

I've really embraced the gangster.

It's a kind of DIY gangster thing.

Do you want to sit down somewhere?

We could sit at the table.

Can you just walk in there?

I'm gonna head.

I'm gonna go pick up my car because I have her left home.

Oh, where's your car, Robyn?

It's a very, very long story.

Robyn lost her license.

Right.

Drinking or...?

No, not drinking.

There was a pedestrian crossing, and it tipped me over the edge.

I'm not a drink driver, Catherine.

Did you knock somebody over?

No, I didn't knock somebody over, for God's sake.

Anyway, nice to meet you guys.

Yeah.

So great to meet you.

Oh, yeah. Cuttle.

Great.

Oh.

See you later.

See you tomorrow.

OK, we've got a couple of sparkling wines.

It's not that cold, but...

Sorry.

Do you not have any glasses?

Just gonna take a couple of them.

Oh, no, no, one's fine.

OK, cheers.

Well, good to see you welcome.

And happy housewarming Auntie Robyn.

Chim, chim.

Maybe take them off the arm of the thing.

It's a bit mucky that arm.

OK.

The table's probably...

Just leave it.

Put one of your trousers.

I don't think it's safe.

So what's happening with the divorce?

Things are very raw for us at the moment.

We're still just trying to tiptoe around Giles,

his new partner, and all that shit.

I mean, the thing with Giles,

he was just so disinterested.

It was like he got the prize,

he conquered me, he won the trophy,

he put it on the shelf.

The shelf got a little bit fat.

Is there any reason that you have

a screwdriver on the table?

Just a thing?

It's just a DIY thing.

This is a do-it-yourself project,

as I was explaining,

and it's just like I bought a screwdriver

so I can just do it.

Does Vinny help with that?

No, Vinny has not helped with that yet,

although he probably will...

He looks very fat.

He's the PE teacher, so...

I wondered what the whistle was.

Please don't move in on my friend.

It's embarrassing.

You're embarrassing yourself.

OK, and you're going to embarrass Charlie.

All right, Uber's here.

What? What have you called an Uber for?

Well, we're not staying here.

Why not?

Well, we're going to stay with Sarah, so...

Auntie Sarah?

No, you're staying here.

Sorry, when was this decided?

We had a little FaceTime

and saw her place.

She looks lovely.

Come on in, sweetheart, let's...

Oh, you call the gear out.

Do you want me to shut you back in

or do you want some fresh air?

Yeah, just leave it open, it's fine.

OK, cheerio, bye.

I'm Robyn's sister.

Lovely.

I was just wondering about dropping my son Charlie

off the day.

Just drop him off at the mall,

like everybody else.

Have you got your driver's license?

No, I've got my learners.

Oh, perfect.

Oh, just...

What's this?

My muscle.

Yeah, it's not school uniform, is it?

What's that?

It's a holding pen.

Are you eating the cucumber out of the sandwich?

I'm just avoiding gluten.

Oh, sorry.

I guess she's drunk.

Bye, Mum.