Original subtitles

Oh, man.

Anthony, what's that?

Sorry, other Anthony.

It's like a turbo thermos. Like, I think it was a welcome gift.

It can hold water, but not a lot of water.

It was, like, in my closet.

It's just in the closet?

Yeah. It wasn't, like, on the counter or anything?

No, it's, like, on the floor.

Because maybe I think that was leftover from whoever.

It's kind of like a... Oh, what is that?

Oh, my goodness.

Look at that. What water bottle is mostly jelly?

Right. Yeah.

Did you get something like this? You just got the black one, too? I did, too.

Well, I probably couldn't drink it without the straw.

No, no. Did you wash it? Yeah.

Seriously, I can't read it.

Oh. Oh.

I don't know if you want me to drink it.

Why? It says Fleshlight Turbo.

What's a flashlight?

It's not a flashlight.

It ain't a thermos. Wait, you don't know what that is?

Wait, somebody's got to tell me. What is a flashlight?

Um, uh, uh, it's a... It's a masturbatory toy for men.

Oh! And you're breaking out of it?

I thought, what? Put it down. Put it down!

Other Anthony, honey, you need to put it down. It's not clean. Oh, my.

So I spoke with Marjorie, and she let me know that that was not a welcome gift.

Honestly, this is like classic Malibu realtors.

Did somebody use that?

I don't know, honey, but if they did, they weren't just sticking ice in it.

Are you guys excited about the retreat?

Oh, my God, those.

Obviously, it's Doug's last retreat.

Give it up for the new CEO of Rockin' Grandma's Hot Sauce. He's a great kid.

Yeah. That is the right fit for CEO.

Will you marry me?

No. Kevin.

You're Captain Fire. You got this. You got this. I don't got this.

My intention is to find and open the time capsule.

Oh.

Malibu Realtors. They were f***ing monsters.

I saw them bringing in a cotton candy machine and they were swirling around

cocaine in it.

It's an empty seat.

This is going to be empty.

Last night, Kevin had some family issues that he had to go and deal with, so he

had to leave, but he designated me Captain Fun, and I actually don't have

hat on right now. I need to run and grab it, so I got a little bit of a

promotion from Lieutenant to Captain.

Is Kevin coming back today?

Honestly, I don't know if Kevin... Hey, guys!

Do either of these trees look kind of like a screaming man to you guys?

Well, I'm not sure what he means by a screaming man. You're trying to find the

time capsule?

You don't remember where you put it?

No. I remember being like near a tree that looked kind of like a screaming

Okay. Let me finish up this interview and I'll do a walk around with you and

if we can find it. For real? Yeah, I got you. My man. Thank you. Yes, sir. Thank

you.

Yo,

there he is. El Capitan.

Or, hey, I'm the captain now, right?

Captain Ron.

Good movie, huh?

I'm a little nervous,

like first day as CEO.

Big first day for you, first day as Captain Fun, you know?

Take a breath.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look, I need today to go well, right? So I was wondering if

you could just back me up as Captain Fun. I have my back. Yes, sir. I got

got you, man.

Appreciate you.

Let's go.

Yeah, yes, sir.

Good morning, everybody.

Morning, morning.

All right, good morning, everyone.

Good morning.

Let's all begin, gather around, take a seat, or remain seated, or stand at your

leisure.

Actually, I'm not the CEO yet, so we're going to wait for Dad to get started.

Start. Just start. Just start. Just start.

Yeah, we'll just wait for Dad.

Amy, after Kevin's prank last night,

I gotta know.

Are you okay?

That's so sweet, Jimmy. Um, yeah, I'm good. I'm actually, like, really good.

Oh, Jimmy the ally.

Yeah. He has a past, and he's really trying to make up for every dark, ugly,

nasty thing he did.

It's okay to not be okay.

Oh, Jimmy, I love that.

Everyone these days is just trying to be relevant and caring and thoughtful and

be kind. And it's just grinding my ass into a stub.

And so the last night I couldn't sleep because I was up all night going like,

okay, I mean, girl, you just turned 40. What are fun, cool things you want to

experience while you still have time?

Like a bucket list?

A what?

A bucket list. It's just all the things that you want to do before you die.

That's, yes, oh my God, a bucket list. A bucket list, yeah. Yes, I need to make

a bucket list. You've never made one before?

No, have you?

Yeah, several.

Seriously? Yeah. That is such a good idea.

Good morning.

Hey, guys.

Let's look alive. Can I have everyone's attention, please? Now we'll formally

begin.

We'll formally begin, all right.

Hey, guys, day two, rocking Grandma's retreat.

I spoke with Kevin and his mom, and she said he's doing fine.

He's probably not going to be back today. Okay. Okay, so.

Kevin played a prank on us and proposed to Amy. He said it was a prank after he

proposed, and Amy said no, and he left. So I think he just needs to take a beat.

Today is going to be amazing. It is seminar day!

Well, we do a lot of fun things at the retreat, but seminar day is not one of

the fun things.

I think last year we had a nine -hour seminar on, um, what was it?

Uh, listening, I think.

No, I don't remember that.

But it's easy to remember three things, situation, behavior, impact.

These are things that are going to make feedback more receivable and effective.

I kind of fell asleep during one guy, and when I woke up, that guy turned into

different guy.

There are a lot of ways in which conflict may arise. There is also a wide

of what constitutes harassment.

That includes intimidating looks and staring, comments about appearance,

gestures, whistling and making kissing noises, racist, xenophobic, homophobic,

sexist, transphobic slurs.

It's my most favorite day of the retreat.

Yeah, well.

Oh, my God.

What was that? Oh,

no, it's my new posture trainer.

If I slouch, it corrects me.

Oh, God.

Lastly,

the bystander justifies inaction by saying, it's not my problem.

I'm not going to lie. This morning's speakers were super lame and boring.

So I made a future executive decision and hired a speaker of my own. And she

dope.

Total vibe shift.

Steve, is that how you pronounce it? Steve, Steve. That is correct, yes.

Doug, is that how you pronounce it? Doug, Doug?

Doug, yes.

Over.

My name is Christine.

I live in a condo.

I went to an online university

to get my public.

Emotions and vulnerability in the workspace.

It's an important area that we don't always think about.

Because we hear things like, don't invite Susan to the meeting.

She's on her period, she'll probably cry.

Could be something like that. You've heard that before? Okay.

I have never heard that.

Now, I'm going to have you reach down, open up your envelope, and there'll be a

sentence inside. And I want you to read it aloud to the group. Let's start with

you. Jimmy, is that how you pronounce it? Jimmy?

I want you to read that aloud with no emotions attached.

I hate everyone in this room.

Oh, my God.

Hey, no emotions, guys.

Sorry.

My girlfriend dumped me because she said she didn't feel that I had any emotion

when I told her I loved her.

Well, how do you say it?

I love you.

Oh. Well, you could put a little more passion in it.

I love you.

That was better. That was good.

That was just louder.

I just think I'll probably die alone.

My dog is my husband.

Okay.

So, how does that feel? Bad, because I love being able to support people with

emotion. Not quite, not quite.

But close.

My dog is my husband. What does that even mean, right?

But let's put some emotion on it. So if I say, my dog is my husband!

Right?

It's almost like maybe there's a lady who has spoken to a witch or a wizard,

the wizard's saying, you have a beautiful golden retriever, but you

husband, but we could turn the golden retriever into a husband somehow.

Yes, I haven't attended too many seminars, so I'm not sure how they go,

This one was pretty weird, and I just tried to be there and support Dougie

I promised.

Anthony? Anthony? Anthony?

I am humiliated to admit it, but I ruined the betting.

It happens.

For this exercise, you'll come up, you'll sit in the boss's chair. We'll

our meeting where I'll tell you my problem. Once I tell you my problem,

going to say, I have to admit I don't know what to do.

Yeah, what up? Welcome to my office.

What's cracking?

Is that maybe how you would speak to me? Yeah, yeah. Or like, what's going on?

Oh, God.

I know about an elevator that's been stuck on the seventh floor with people

it for many hours, and I haven't said.

Anything about it?

I gotta admit, I don't know what to do.

There's something about the way you're just throwing it away that is actually

really charming.

And that's a man in charge.

Beggy?

You guys, I've been working on my bucket list.

Can I share?

Please do.

Yeah, let's hear it. Okay.

Stand up for myself.

I feel like I could cross that off.

Times Square for New Year's.

Oh, boy.

I love crowds.

Get highlights, but just simple ones, not, like, chunky, but enough to, like,

still get a compliment on.

Let her cook, let her cook. Yeah, we got to keep going. This feels crazy.

Is this crazy?

Uh -uh. Oh, hike?

Oh, dear God.

What? Kind of boring.

Don't yuck my yamble, you mean.

Well, I don't mean any disrespect, sweetie, and you should do all of those

things. Okay. Absolutely. I do want to. But you've got to put yourself out

there. Okay. Take a risk.

Well, give me one.

Okay, like, go to a strip club and sleep with a stripper.

Helen, no!

It's a bucket list. It should be great.

Take him to a dark alley and have sex with him there.

He was wild when he was young. I don't know if I want to have sex in an

alleyway. And if it's too dirty, you can just use the car.

Not in the alleyway. Wait, I have one.

Okay, yeah, what is it? Have you ever seen the TV show Bones?

Uh -uh. Okay, well, I think you should watch an episode of Bones before you

I'll watch Bones with you if you want. Really? Yeah.

Everyone should come, because everyone should watch it before they die.

Hey, guys!

There's been a robbery.

What? Yeah.

What do you mean robbed? Everyone's like, what happened?

Thought something bad happened.

I just went in here, and a 48 -bag box of Cool Ranch Doritos had gone missing.

Somebody took the box, and so I just need to know who took it.

I didn't take it. I didn't take it either.

Really? Nobody wants to admit they took it? I didn't take it. I was like, y

'all, you can search my room. We didn't know what to do. We were like, is this

real? Yeah. This is just like the Malibu Realtors all over again. If this turns

into Grey Goose bottles and fleshlights, I swear to frickin' God.

God damn it.

It wasn't the chips. It was the trust.

She had the Malibu Realtors last week here, and she said she has PTSD from

because they have no respect.

All right, so did anybody take the chips? I don't think that anybody here

Amy. What?

You do love Cool Ranch Doritos. I know. They are my favorite. I'm not saying you

did it, but, like, did you do it? I don't need 50 bags. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I

I believe all women, right?

So I believe all of y 'all that you did not do the chip. And Marjorie's a woman,

too, and I believe hers. So I don't know. Thank you, Jimmy. You didn't have

How do we solve this? I don't know.

The whole thing is, like, letting her search to where they could be, and I

know how comfortable y 'all are with that. I mean, we could, like.

You know what I'm saying? I guess search each other's rooms. Because, like, if

you go search your room, you're lying.

Thank you, yeah. We could all go with, like, a group. That's like team

Let's go. Team building.

Who's the liar?

Where are we starting? Where are we starting?

Future CEO, we can check my room first.

All right. That's what leaders do.

Nothing to see.

Dougie's room is clear. No chips.

Just a big -ass Jamaican flag.

Ripping the boys from Kingston.

Dougie. Uh -uh. We done.

Yep, yeah, sorry, my bad.

Anthony and Dougie led us from room to room, digging in everybody's stuff,

trying to find these Doritos.

PJ is the first one that I think it possibly might be. Oh, dang!

Come, I have a huge suitcase full of my snacks.

I don't need to take cool ranch Doritos, OK?

Well, I'm trying to be a snack fluencer.

I can't just talk the talk, honey. I have to snack the snack.

The social media thing, I see it, and I just feel like I know I can do it. Your

personality, and then you have your snacks. Like, that's just you, you know

I'm saying? Yeah. Just take that and put it on the internet.

Okay.

Claire's room is good.

No chips.

Jackie's room is clear.

Amy's room is clear. Steve's room is clear. No chips.

I mean, actually, Jimmy, we didn't go in your room.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. You're right. We didn't. We're right.

You know, I actually have some delicate items sitting out.

I don't know if we all need to go in my room.

You're clearing them. Will you just come? Yeah, I got you. I got you. Okay,

right. Thanks for coming in. Yeah, yeah, for sure.

All right, look.

I, you know, old me used to be problematic, right? And that's a new

sober, making changes.

All right, I don't want to go back to that. So what I do is when I travel, I

carry with me what I call a shame altar so that they remind me of what I used to

be like.

Halloween was a big day for old Jimmy.

These are some costume changes that were regrettable that I wish I could get

back. Mike Jack?

MJ? Michael Jackson. I mean, obviously, you see how wrong that is.

Uh, what's wrong with it?

It's a white face.

But you're white.

Oh, look at these two. PJ, what do you got in there, though? Find out what's in

there. What do you got in there, though?

Uh, what the fuck?

Pocahontas? Ah, close.

Pocahontas.

I feel like that's a little bit of, what would you call it, culture

appropriation? It's a lot of things. Also, it's real leather.

I think they're pornographic animals.

Oh, I'm not surprised. Wow, old Jimmy. That's still part of old Jimmy. Yeah,

yeah. We should probably look for these chips before they start asking too many

questions. Yeah.

You don't really have too much space to hide it. Actually, there's one last

picture. Oh, Lord. Okay.

I mean, it's the worst. I feel awful about it, but it's not in here. It's in

that time capsule, and that is why I've got to find it.

Look, man, I'm glad you shared this with me. I'm glad you were able to open up.

But we got to get back to look for these chips.

Don't wait. Don't wait. Yes, absolutely.

Yeah, he had some personal things in there. I mean, nothing crazy that you

think of. Just some things that I can respect, and I definitely understand why

he might not want people in there. Yeah, nothing German or anything.

What?

OK. Jeremy's room is clear. No chips, and nothing to worry about at all.

Nothing.

OK.

Hey, on to my room. All right. See, like, come check out my snacks. The only

thing I took was my beef jerky. You feel what I'm saying? I see chips, but not

the Cool Ranch Doritos.

Anthony's room is clear.

No chips.

Can this be over?

I want to be inside.

For real.

Oh, hey, guys, Dad's here. Dad, hey.

Hey, guys.

Hey. What do you got? Nothing.

We checked everybody's room.

Nobody had it in the room. Yeah.

And what's going on? No shit. No shit.

It was like a team building game.

An exercise game.

No, no, no.

Marjorie is really, really upset about this. OK, she's pissed. She thinks you

guys are just blowing her off, man.

What? No, we just did the... Blowing her off as what?

We just wanted to go search everybody's rooms to double check that nobody was

lying. Okay, but the bottom line is somebody took the chips, and we got to

out who or what.

As incoming CEO, I will just say that I took the chips. No, nobody's saying they

took the chips if they did not take the chips. So then what happens when she

asks for the chips back? What are you going to do? I'll say I ate them.

48 bags of them? I don't... Hi, guys. Hi, Marjorie.

So we just went through everybody's room, and there were no chips in there.

So I genuinely don't think anybody from my grandma has them.

Yeah. All right, well, that doesn't add up.

So you searched everybody's room?

Everybody's. Yeah, we searched everybody's room. You didn't miss

single room? Yeah, we searched everybody's room except for Kevin.

You didn't search Kevin.

He's gone. His is all the way across.

Let's go search it. Let's go look. Okay.

Honestly, it's not even, like, about the chip, you know? The chip is the trust,

yeah, for sure.

Oh.

Oh. Found them. What? No.

Wow. No way.

Yo. This is my fault. This is my fault.

Oh, my God.

Yo.

Oh, my God.

This is so romantic, but this is not the right. Oh, God.

There were Doritos in a heart.

With rose petals around I do really love the it was like really romantic I'm

guessing it was part of the joke engagement Marjorie. I'm so sorry. This

like my I'm so because I didn't love Cool ranch.

Kevin didn't love me. This is not your fault. This is not you.

Seeing how happy the day -old stale chips arranged in the shape of a heart

have made Amy, if it were with someone other than Kevin, made me realize that

maybe I don't have to say I love you, but I can show it through dumb gestures.

Yeah, like if this was with someone else, you know, I mean like I would have

been perfect Those have been out for a few days. I don't know if he does it

really bad I think some of the black spots of the chips are actually rat

droppings also. Oh I ate one Way to way to take command

my brother for real any time I get an opportunity to like Just jump out in the

front and just be like, you know How can we do this or when somebody asks for

like a guest or like?

a helper or something, I'm like, let me jump in there. Yeah.

You got that good attitude, man. That's great, bro.

Today was about trust, and we kind of lost ours for a minute out there.

But we were able to earn it back.

That's right.

Can I trust you to not judge me or all the really cool, fun things that I want

to do?

Yes.

Helen?

Yes.

I know it's only day one of the retreat, but the people here have made me feel

like I'm a part of the team, and that's super cool.

You know the way you were willing to take the blame for your team?

That's real leadership.

Thanks, Dad.

You okay?

I've appreciated all your help. You're Captain Fun, and I'm just making sure

everyone has a good time, too. You need a name. If I'm Captain Fun, over to you.

Major March?

Major March. You like that? Yeah.

One of the realtors?

Honestly, yeah.

They all had those Porsche Cayenne.

I believe it with a two.

Oh, hey! I don't think I can deal with this right now.

It's okay, it's okay.

Hi, you work here?

Yeah, I remember you. It's Maggie.

No, Marjorie.

We were here last week, the Malibu Real Estate Association. Yeah, no, I know who

you are.

Cool, I know. I left a personal item here.

If I could just get back into my old room, I'll run in real quick, grab it,

I'll get out. Is there somebody in there already? Yeah, there's someone staying

in that room.

Well, I actually have a real estate license, so I can enter other homes even

with a tenant inside. Can you describe it? Yeah, it's...

It's kind of tubular. It's like made out of this hard plastic.

It's like a tool. It's like a relaxation device. Like a massager or something?

It is like a form of massage.

It looks like kind of like a coffee thermos or like a travel mug.

Kind of this erotic ice blue color.

So a blue coffee mug essentially is what we're looking for? Yeah, pretty much.

Can you fill it up?

You just fill it up. I mean, yeah, you can throw it right in the dishwasher,

honestly. If you don't think it's in the room, it might be by the business

center, by the computer, or maybe by, like, the muddy part of the creek.

I could sketch it.

All right, boss. Yeah, man, if we find it, we can bring it to one of your open

houses. I got you. No, no. I could not ask anybody to do that. I insist that

actually don't do that. Yeah, we'll keep an eye on, man. All right, we'll see

you later, Cole.

It's a beautiful car, man. What is it?

Oh, thanks. Yeah, it's a Cayenne.

Is that a turbo?

No, I know. I just got base.

Oh, just base? Okay.

Wait, did you say turbo?

We'll see you later.

You're ice cold.

Me? Yes. Yeah, I was trying so hard not to laugh.

I'm going to fist bump you as soon as you finish that. That was the best

Good job.

Yeah.

Yeah, so tomorrow it gets real. I have my first presentation to our clients as

future CEO.

So I just kind of wanted to chill and watch a little TV. Oh, and I got to

something off my bucket list.

We watch Bones.

This is my favorite show.

And then that's Bones. This looks like Kate. Kate, this looks like you.

Everyone should watch both before they die.

I just want to watch it while I'm alive.

I'll have to re -watch it because everyone was talking the whole time.

I'll watch it with you again. I'd prefer not.

Company retreat.

Today is what? The day is today!

I have a big kind of announcement that no one really knows about.

We really don't know what he has in store?

Someone has filed an anonymous complaint. This report requires us to

mandatory sexual harassment seminar today.

A sexual harassment seminar can gargle in my ball sack.

Boop! The new CEO, my son, Dougie Jr.

Give it up for this guy.

Walk. Where? What? Now.