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1
00:00:01,393 --> 00:00:04,745
♪ It seems today that all you see ♪
2
00:00:04,897 --> 00:00:07,822
♪ Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
3
00:00:07,991 --> 00:00:11,677
♪ But where are those good old-fashioned values ♪
4
00:00:11,828 --> 00:00:14,680
♪ On which we used to rely? ♪
5
00:00:14,831 --> 00:00:18,166
♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪
6
00:00:18,185 --> 00:00:21,336
♪ Lucky there's a man who positively can do ♪
7
00:00:21,430 --> 00:00:23,080
♪ All the things that make us ♪
8
00:00:23,098 --> 00:00:24,339
♪ Laugh and cry ♪
9
00:00:24,433 --> 00:00:30,195
♪ He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! ♪
10
00:00:31,090 --> 00:00:33,090
♪ ♪
11
00:00:34,017 --> 00:00:37,352
Ah, look at this, Peter,
a new restaurant in town.
12
00:00:37,446 --> 00:00:39,020
What a lightning bolt
to the balls
13
00:00:39,114 --> 00:00:40,873
for a couple of schmoes
like us, huh?
14
00:00:41,066 --> 00:00:44,284
I know, I can't believe Quahog
finally got a His and Hers.
15
00:00:44,436 --> 00:00:45,952
Check it out:
I can drink beer,
16
00:00:46,047 --> 00:00:47,604
watch sports,
and play Pop-A-Shot
17
00:00:47,697 --> 00:00:49,456
right here at the table.
18
00:00:49,533 --> 00:00:52,442
And I can drink wine and scroll
through Bonnie's Facebook,
19
00:00:52,461 --> 00:00:55,036
secretly enjoying
that she has an ugly baby.
20
00:00:55,130 --> 00:00:57,114
(sighs)
Look at that thing's eyes.
21
00:00:57,207 --> 00:00:59,874
You know, maybe one glass
a night wasn't fine.
22
00:00:59,894 --> 00:01:01,510
Hey, folks.
We ready to order?
23
00:01:01,620 --> 00:01:02,452
I think so.
24
00:01:02,546 --> 00:01:03,303
Shall I cover your ears
25
00:01:03,397 --> 00:01:04,955
for your wife's
menu questions?
26
00:01:04,973 --> 00:01:06,398
That'd be great.
27
00:01:06,550 --> 00:01:08,625
Yeah, are you able
to do the salmon
28
00:01:08,794 --> 00:01:10,235
but without the dill cream?
29
00:01:10,387 --> 00:01:13,388
Sorry, no substitutions.
We're a dick restaurant.
30
00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:16,241
Hmm. Then I'll have
the fettuccine Alfredo.
31
00:01:16,468 --> 00:01:19,970
And my Instagram will have
the watercress salad.
32
00:01:19,988 --> 00:01:20,971
And for you, sir?
33
00:01:21,064 --> 00:01:22,823
How much is that
tomahawk rib eye?
34
00:01:22,917 --> 00:01:24,566
-$85...
-Kid's personal pan pizza.
35
00:01:24,660 --> 00:01:26,810
Great, and if you folks need
anything else,
36
00:01:26,903 --> 00:01:28,995
I'll be invisible.
37
00:01:29,090 --> 00:01:31,298
(video game music plays)
38
00:01:32,334 --> 00:01:35,168
Remember this, Peter?
Remember us?
39
00:01:35,321 --> 00:01:38,097
I do remember us.
I miss us.
40
00:01:38,248 --> 00:01:41,675
When we get home, let's do it
so loud, the kids wake up.
41
00:01:41,769 --> 00:01:45,495
Yeah, let's do it on the couch
where we all gather as a family
42
00:01:45,589 --> 00:01:47,589
and watch television.
43
00:01:47,608 --> 00:01:49,833
ANNOUNCER: Family Guy is brought to you by Parent Sex.
44
00:01:49,926 --> 00:01:51,668
Parent Sex: It happens in rooms
45
00:01:51,687 --> 00:01:53,353
that you hang out in and watch TV.
46
00:01:53,505 --> 00:01:55,672
Maybe even right there where you're sitting now.
47
00:01:55,765 --> 00:01:57,674
Pretty gross, right?
48
00:01:57,693 --> 00:02:00,202
(classical music playing)
49
00:02:24,961 --> 00:02:27,729
Gentlemen, we have work to do.
50
00:02:29,057 --> 00:02:31,041
-(saw whirring loudly)
-Son of a bitch.
51
00:02:31,134 --> 00:02:34,194
Just when I'm onto
something good, really good.
52
00:02:35,472 --> 00:02:37,156
Hey, what the hell's
going on out here?
53
00:02:37,383 --> 00:02:38,882
You got a permit, pal?
Huh?
54
00:02:38,901 --> 00:02:40,159
Hey, guys,
I'll be right back.
55
00:02:40,327 --> 00:02:42,235
I'm just gonna toss this dog
a beating real quick.
56
00:02:42,329 --> 00:02:43,236
Wait, what?
57
00:02:43,330 --> 00:02:45,146
Easy there, Gussy,
I know this guy.
58
00:02:45,166 --> 00:02:46,648
Why don't you go get
yourself a sandwich?
59
00:02:46,667 --> 00:02:49,726
Can-can I leave the wrappers
in the bushes?
60
00:02:49,895 --> 00:02:51,819
All right, you can leave
the wrappers in the bushes.
61
00:02:51,839 --> 00:02:53,672
Guys, he said we can.
62
00:02:54,750 --> 00:02:55,916
Stewie, what's happening?
63
00:02:56,010 --> 00:02:57,843
I'm trying to write,
and all I hear is banging.
64
00:02:57,994 --> 00:02:59,069
Oh, yeah, check it out.
65
00:02:59,238 --> 00:03:01,513
I'm having these guys
put up a tree house.
66
00:03:03,517 --> 00:03:06,760
Sort of like a man cave/dance
studio kind of deal.
67
00:03:06,912 --> 00:03:09,337
Why don't you stop by later
and I'll give you the tour?
68
00:03:09,431 --> 00:03:11,748
-Tell Chris, too.
-Sure, I'm free.
69
00:03:11,767 --> 00:03:14,860
-Is that Lois's sweater?
-Cardigans are unisex.
70
00:03:15,011 --> 00:03:16,862
♪ ♪
71
00:03:17,865 --> 00:03:20,106
So, Loey, how was
the big date night?
72
00:03:20,201 --> 00:03:22,367
Wonderful date night.
Great, great, great.
73
00:03:22,594 --> 00:03:25,687
Yeah, I'm still not...
not completely sold on "Loey."
74
00:03:25,706 --> 00:03:28,022
(chuckling):
So, tell us, tell us...
75
00:03:28,191 --> 00:03:31,284
after you had dinner,
how was the pork?
76
00:03:31,437 --> 00:03:34,362
(laughing)
77
00:03:34,381 --> 00:03:35,530
Who is this bitch?
78
00:03:35,624 --> 00:03:38,959
Uh, it was good.
Yeah, it was really nice.
79
00:03:39,111 --> 00:03:41,035
Oh, no, you're not
getting off that easy.
80
00:03:41,129 --> 00:03:45,340
Oh, classic Loey trying
to dodge the question.
81
00:03:45,451 --> 00:03:47,226
Seriously, who is this
froggy little bitch?
82
00:03:47,394 --> 00:03:48,802
How come she's sitting with us?
83
00:03:48,896 --> 00:03:52,231
Now, about the sex, though,
I just... how do I put this?
84
00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:54,791
Let's just say
Peter doesn't always...
85
00:03:54,810 --> 00:03:57,552
Munchausen my proxy.
86
00:03:57,604 --> 00:03:58,570
What do you mean?
87
00:03:58,797 --> 00:04:01,389
Well, he doesn't always
go to Australia.
88
00:04:01,408 --> 00:04:04,576
You know, the land down under.
89
00:04:04,728 --> 00:04:06,060
ALL:
Oh...
90
00:04:06,229 --> 00:04:08,305
He's just never liked it.
I don't know.
91
00:04:08,323 --> 00:04:10,082
I-I guess it's not
a requirement,
92
00:04:10,233 --> 00:04:12,826
but, yeah, I do like
having the option.
93
00:04:12,978 --> 00:04:15,087
You know, Joe and I went
to a sex therapist
94
00:04:15,314 --> 00:04:16,571
after his accident.
95
00:04:16,590 --> 00:04:17,905
She really helped us,
96
00:04:17,925 --> 00:04:19,741
turned him
into a real spelunker.
97
00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:21,093
I'm sorry.
98
00:04:21,262 --> 00:04:23,411
The six-year-old birthday party
has asked if you could...
99
00:04:23,580 --> 00:04:25,430
(quietly):
keep your voices down.
100
00:04:27,434 --> 00:04:29,726
♪ ♪
101
00:04:39,113 --> 00:04:40,837
Oh, there they are.
102
00:04:40,856 --> 00:04:41,780
The boys.
103
00:04:41,931 --> 00:04:43,782
-Come on in, fellas.
-Dang, Stewie.
104
00:04:44,009 --> 00:04:46,676
This is a legit
little pad you got here.
105
00:04:46,695 --> 00:04:47,619
(floor creaks)
106
00:04:47,771 --> 00:04:49,270
Yeah, that one spot
creaks a little.
107
00:04:49,290 --> 00:04:52,182
-I might have them look at it.
-Oh, I-I didn't even notice.
108
00:04:52,200 --> 00:04:54,275
So, yeah, you know,
pretty self-explanatory.
109
00:04:54,295 --> 00:04:57,537
Couch, plasma, kind of a little
office nook over there.
110
00:04:57,689 --> 00:04:58,672
And...
111
00:05:01,226 --> 00:05:02,634
-Hey-yo!
-Boom.
112
00:05:02,786 --> 00:05:06,212
Photo booth with props,
if anyone's feeling sassy.
113
00:05:06,365 --> 00:05:08,956
Eh? Eh?
114
00:05:08,976 --> 00:05:11,310
Um, yes. Yes.
115
00:05:11,495 --> 00:05:13,703
But, uh, do you mind
if we take a rain check?
116
00:05:13,722 --> 00:05:16,148
I got to take Chris to baseball
in like five minutes.
117
00:05:16,299 --> 00:05:17,316
Well, come by later.
118
00:05:17,467 --> 00:05:18,966
Maybe we can watch a movie
or something.
119
00:05:19,061 --> 00:05:21,469
Wow, that's super generous
of you, Stewie.
120
00:05:21,488 --> 00:05:23,196
This place is dope.
121
00:05:24,049 --> 00:05:27,117
♪ ♪
122
00:05:29,496 --> 00:05:31,888
You see that, Rupert,
they like it.
123
00:05:32,057 --> 00:05:36,317
This place might just be
my masterpiece.
124
00:05:36,337 --> 00:05:38,078
♪ ♪
125
00:05:38,230 --> 00:05:39,338
BRIAN:
Okay, wow.
126
00:05:39,489 --> 00:05:41,915
What... the hell... was that?
127
00:05:42,067 --> 00:05:43,900
CHRIS:
So we're on the same page?
128
00:05:43,993 --> 00:05:45,660
I thought I was nuts.
129
00:05:45,679 --> 00:05:48,996
-BRIAN: Brutal, right?
-CHRIS: Oh, brutal.
130
00:05:49,074 --> 00:05:51,350
BRIAN:
I have no idea what
he's going for up there.
131
00:05:51,501 --> 00:05:54,686
CHRIS:
That's the thing.
I don't think he does either.
132
00:05:54,913 --> 00:05:56,388
(Brian and Chris laughing)
133
00:05:56,540 --> 00:05:59,340
CHRIS:
I'm sorry, he wants us to
come watch a movie up there?
134
00:05:59,434 --> 00:06:01,267
(chuckling):
On a Vizio?
135
00:06:01,420 --> 00:06:03,177
Oh, is that what he was saying?
136
00:06:03,197 --> 00:06:05,680
I couldn't hear a word
over those floorboards creaking.
137
00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:07,591
Oh, my God.
Creak City.
138
00:06:07,684 --> 00:06:11,111
BRIAN:
Poor guy. Just has no idea.
And, like, nothing to eat?
139
00:06:11,263 --> 00:06:13,113
CHRIS:
Like, dude, go to Costco,
140
00:06:13,265 --> 00:06:15,115
grab some of those
frozen quiches.
141
00:06:15,209 --> 00:06:17,100
BRIAN:
It's not like he didn't
know we were coming.
142
00:06:17,193 --> 00:06:20,270
CHRIS:
Oh, poor Stewie.
what are you gonna do?
143
00:06:20,288 --> 00:06:21,696
BRIAN:
I'll tell you
what I'm not gonna do.
144
00:06:21,790 --> 00:06:24,031
A photo shoot with
a top hat and a boa.
145
00:06:24,126 --> 00:06:26,259
(Brian and Chris laughing)
146
00:06:28,222 --> 00:06:30,263
♪ ♪
147
00:06:32,393 --> 00:06:33,633
So, Peter...
148
00:06:33,727 --> 00:06:36,395
Oh, big surprise.
Take her side, why don't you?
149
00:06:36,622 --> 00:06:40,065
Peter, let's take a breath.
We're just here to talk.
150
00:06:40,292 --> 00:06:41,641
So, Lois tells me
151
00:06:41,793 --> 00:06:44,694
you don't like doing
everything in the bedroom.
152
00:06:46,890 --> 00:06:47,906
(sighs)
153
00:06:48,075 --> 00:06:50,316
Listen, if he's too shy
to talk about this,
154
00:06:50,411 --> 00:06:52,727
we could always try hypnosis.
155
00:06:52,746 --> 00:06:54,395
Oh, how would that work?
156
00:06:54,415 --> 00:06:56,990
Well, we get him
in a very relaxed state,
157
00:06:57,084 --> 00:06:59,084
and I give him what's called
a "trigger phrase."
158
00:06:59,235 --> 00:07:00,493
It's essentially
training the brain
159
00:07:00,662 --> 00:07:03,663
to behave a certain way
every time he hears it.
160
00:07:03,757 --> 00:07:04,831
You can do that?
161
00:07:04,983 --> 00:07:07,150
Just kind of make me
zone out during?
162
00:07:07,169 --> 00:07:08,835
That's the idea, yeah.
163
00:07:08,987 --> 00:07:10,595
Whenever you hear
the trigger phrase,
164
00:07:10,822 --> 00:07:13,247
you just imagine yourself
sitting on a beach,
165
00:07:13,416 --> 00:07:14,991
eating an ice cream cone.
166
00:07:15,010 --> 00:07:16,176
I don't hate that.
167
00:07:16,270 --> 00:07:18,678
Go ahead and close
your eyes for me.
168
00:07:18,830 --> 00:07:22,165
Try to relax.
We are now in a tranquil place.
169
00:07:22,334 --> 00:07:27,003
Leaving the cares and concerns
of the physical world behind.
170
00:07:27,022 --> 00:07:28,262
Peter,
171
00:07:28,282 --> 00:07:31,007
we are now
in our suspended state.
172
00:07:31,176 --> 00:07:33,693
And from now on,
whenever you hear the words...
173
00:07:33,845 --> 00:07:35,954
♪ Extra, extra. ♪
174
00:07:36,181 --> 00:07:37,956
Sorry, I get push notifications
175
00:07:38,183 --> 00:07:40,125
whenever Chrissy Teigen
cyberbullies a nobody.
176
00:07:40,276 --> 00:07:41,609
What was that phrase again?
177
00:07:41,628 --> 00:07:44,688
Vanilla ice cream.
178
00:07:44,781 --> 00:07:46,206
Huh, anything?
179
00:07:46,358 --> 00:07:47,466
Um...
180
00:07:47,617 --> 00:07:49,116
My elbows are itchy?
181
00:07:49,211 --> 00:07:51,452
(sighing):
Oh, well, we tried.
182
00:07:51,472 --> 00:07:52,696
Sorry, Lois.
183
00:07:52,864 --> 00:07:55,548
I guess I'll just go make
some sad spaghetti.
184
00:07:55,701 --> 00:07:56,808
(sighs)
185
00:07:56,885 --> 00:07:59,060
♪ Extra, extra. ♪
186
00:08:00,055 --> 00:08:02,731
(Latin-style music playing)
187
00:08:03,875 --> 00:08:05,466
Corazón.
188
00:08:05,486 --> 00:08:08,653
♪ ♪
189
00:08:18,481 --> 00:08:20,457
(music stops)
190
00:08:26,414 --> 00:08:28,715
♪ ♪
191
00:08:31,178 --> 00:08:33,345
Peter, last night was amazing.
192
00:08:33,496 --> 00:08:35,454
Oh, when I farted
the Pledge of Allegiance?
193
00:08:35,516 --> 00:08:36,681
Yeah, I tell you,
194
00:08:36,850 --> 00:08:38,908
things got a little dicey there
on "indivisible."
195
00:08:39,002 --> 00:08:40,593
You really don't remember?
196
00:08:40,687 --> 00:08:42,837
Wow, that hypnosis works.
197
00:08:42,931 --> 00:08:44,523
Well, I got to get
in the shower.
198
00:08:44,750 --> 00:08:47,433
You know, 'cause of
that "indivisible" part.
199
00:08:47,528 --> 00:08:50,111
♪ Extra, extra. ♪
200
00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:57,093
I'm just gonna go ahead
and save this song on my phone.
201
00:08:57,186 --> 00:08:59,204
CHRIS:
Mom, what's for breakfast?
202
00:08:59,355 --> 00:09:01,264
Shut up, you little turd!
203
00:09:01,266 --> 00:09:03,190
ANNOUNCER: Parent Sex. When your mom yells at you
204
00:09:03,210 --> 00:09:05,602
through a closed door, that's why.
205
00:09:05,771 --> 00:09:07,712
♪ ♪
206
00:09:09,775 --> 00:09:11,049
♪ Extra, extra. ♪
207
00:09:11,276 --> 00:09:13,126
Wow, Mom and Dad
have sure been watching
208
00:09:13,278 --> 00:09:14,961
a lot of entertainment
television.
209
00:09:15,055 --> 00:09:16,555
LOIS:
Yahtzee!
210
00:09:16,706 --> 00:09:19,616
And apparently found their way
to the game closet.
211
00:09:19,618 --> 00:09:22,786
Good morning, everyone.
Who's hungry?
212
00:09:22,804 --> 00:09:26,064
Hey, Dad, are you still okay
to bring me to Boy Scouts?
213
00:09:26,215 --> 00:09:27,974
Oh, no, is that today?
(groans)
214
00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:29,809
I was hoping to get
a little golf in.
215
00:09:29,961 --> 00:09:31,719
I'll tell you what,
I'll take Chris.
216
00:09:31,738 --> 00:09:34,631
-You go have fun.
-What, really?
217
00:09:34,724 --> 00:09:36,149
Yeah, no biggie.
218
00:09:36,243 --> 00:09:38,743
Just don't forget we have dinner
at my parents' house later.
219
00:09:38,895 --> 00:09:39,911
Aw, sweet.
220
00:09:40,063 --> 00:09:42,155
I can't wait to spread
ten minutes of fun
221
00:09:42,231 --> 00:09:44,140
over five hours.
222
00:09:44,233 --> 00:09:45,917
Boy, you two seem like
you're getting along well
223
00:09:46,069 --> 00:09:47,160
-these days.
-(chuckles softly)
224
00:09:47,329 --> 00:09:50,404
-What's that supposed to mean?
-Nothing, just...
225
00:09:50,498 --> 00:09:52,924
You don't often give him a whole
Saturday to go play golf.
226
00:09:53,151 --> 00:09:56,152
Oh, yeah, is that
my idiot dog's opinion?
227
00:09:56,245 --> 00:09:58,154
I-I'm not...
I'm not an idiot.
228
00:09:58,173 --> 00:09:59,264
Well, you might not know this
229
00:09:59,491 --> 00:10:01,007
because of the idiot thing,
Brian,
230
00:10:01,101 --> 00:10:03,660
but marriage is about
give and take.
231
00:10:03,678 --> 00:10:06,496
If my husband wants to go
play golf, he plays golf.
232
00:10:06,514 --> 00:10:09,608
I keep him happy,
he keeps me happy.
233
00:10:10,927 --> 00:10:11,926
I'm not an idiot.
234
00:10:12,020 --> 00:10:12,944
In fact, I would say...
235
00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:16,005
I would say
I'm very smart for a dog.
236
00:10:16,024 --> 00:10:17,264
All right, I'm off.
237
00:10:17,342 --> 00:10:19,008
Thanks again for letting
me do this, Lois.
238
00:10:19,027 --> 00:10:20,510
Oh, before you go, can I...
239
00:10:20,528 --> 00:10:23,012
Can I just talk to you
upstairs for one minute?
240
00:10:23,031 --> 00:10:25,248
Just... I-I want to
ask you something.
241
00:10:26,217 --> 00:10:27,274
♪ Extra, extra. ♪
242
00:10:27,294 --> 00:10:30,370
LOIS (laughs):
Go fish.
243
00:10:30,522 --> 00:10:32,464
♪ ♪
244
00:10:34,117 --> 00:10:36,784
Hey, Stewie, you said
you wanted us to see...
245
00:10:36,803 --> 00:10:38,303
Whoa, what happened in here?
246
00:10:38,472 --> 00:10:40,430
♪ ♪
247
00:10:42,458 --> 00:10:46,293
Okay. (laughs)
Okay, now we're talking.
248
00:10:46,388 --> 00:10:49,814
-Stewie, this is incredible.
-Oh, yeah, you like?
249
00:10:49,966 --> 00:10:51,650
The old place just
didn't really...
250
00:10:51,877 --> 00:10:53,300
didn't have much
of a vibe, you know?
251
00:10:53,378 --> 00:10:56,303
Well, it sure as hell
has a vibe now.
252
00:10:56,381 --> 00:10:59,565
Yup, there he is.
Nolan Ryan.
253
00:10:59,660 --> 00:11:02,160
Von Ryan's Express. Eh?
254
00:11:02,311 --> 00:11:04,145
Oh, I happened to be over
at Costco today
255
00:11:04,222 --> 00:11:05,980
and I grabbed some
of these quiches.
256
00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:07,390
You guys ever try these?
257
00:11:07,483 --> 00:11:10,894
Ooh, very cool.
Love these things.
258
00:11:10,912 --> 00:11:12,545
Gracias, Stewie.
259
00:11:14,733 --> 00:11:18,176
Yeah, so, you know,
added a little workout area.
260
00:11:18,327 --> 00:11:20,679
Oh, I got that creak
taken care of, too.
261
00:11:20,830 --> 00:11:22,347
See? Nothing.
262
00:11:22,498 --> 00:11:24,590
Wait, that's not
the same TV, right?
263
00:11:24,743 --> 00:11:25,591
Good eye.
264
00:11:25,744 --> 00:11:26,759
Yeah, I looked up Vizios
265
00:11:26,912 --> 00:11:28,411
and realized
they're kind of crap.
266
00:11:28,430 --> 00:11:30,263
(inhales)
Ended up going with the Sony.
267
00:11:30,415 --> 00:11:32,749
Excellent choice
going with the Sony.
268
00:11:32,767 --> 00:11:34,008
Can't go wrong there.
269
00:11:34,027 --> 00:11:35,418
Well, congratulations, Stewie.
270
00:11:35,511 --> 00:11:37,529
You officially have
a kick-ass man cave.
271
00:11:37,756 --> 00:11:39,531
I mean, don't get me wrong,
it was great before.
272
00:11:39,700 --> 00:11:40,848
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
273
00:11:40,867 --> 00:11:43,851
But this is, I mean,
this is a man cave.
274
00:11:43,870 --> 00:11:46,763
Agree.
You know who would love this?
275
00:11:46,781 --> 00:11:47,872
Eric.
276
00:11:47,982 --> 00:11:51,267
Oh, yeah, this is right up
Eric's alley.
277
00:11:51,286 --> 00:11:53,269
I mean, would-would you mind
if we brought a buddy?
278
00:11:53,438 --> 00:11:55,046
Yeah.
Bring Eric, bring whoever.
279
00:11:55,198 --> 00:11:57,440
Eric'll love Stewie,
don't you think?
280
00:11:57,459 --> 00:11:59,275
Totally.
How have they never met?
281
00:11:59,294 --> 00:12:02,445
A wrong that will soon
be righted, my friend.
282
00:12:02,464 --> 00:12:04,614
All right, Stewie,
we'll see you later.
283
00:12:04,707 --> 00:12:05,465
Yeah, yeah.
284
00:12:05,559 --> 00:12:06,558
See you guys in a bit.
285
00:12:06,709 --> 00:12:08,435
Peace, brah.
286
00:12:10,305 --> 00:12:14,381
BRIAN (laughs):
Wow, it's all so cliché.
287
00:12:14,401 --> 00:12:16,383
CHRIS:
Cliché and just desperate.
288
00:12:16,403 --> 00:12:19,812
Literally not one thing
about that place says "Stewie."
289
00:12:19,965 --> 00:12:20,813
BRIAN:
It's like he googled
290
00:12:20,966 --> 00:12:22,815
"man cave" and said, "That."
291
00:12:22,968 --> 00:12:24,300
I mean, Nolan Ryan?
292
00:12:24,319 --> 00:12:26,578
CHRIS:
Oh, I know, I know.
293
00:12:26,729 --> 00:12:28,972
BRIAN:
He really solved
the TV problem, huh?
294
00:12:29,065 --> 00:12:31,565
CHRIS:
Everybody knows LG
is the way to go.
295
00:12:31,659 --> 00:12:33,918
But what does Consumer Reports
know, right?
296
00:12:34,145 --> 00:12:35,402
(Brian laughing)
297
00:12:35,497 --> 00:12:36,496
CHRIS:
I wouldn't bring Eric
298
00:12:36,648 --> 00:12:39,073
within a hundred yards
of that place.
299
00:12:39,092 --> 00:12:40,984
BRIAN:
Eric would be
miserable up there.
300
00:12:41,002 --> 00:12:43,503
CHRIS:
I could see him punching Stewie.
301
00:12:43,579 --> 00:12:46,598
That's it.
Fool me once, shame on me.
302
00:12:46,749 --> 00:12:49,509
Fool me twice...
you have to die.
303
00:12:49,661 --> 00:12:50,827
CHRIS:
Not to nitpick,
304
00:12:50,920 --> 00:12:53,997
but those weren't even
the right frozen quiches.
305
00:12:54,090 --> 00:12:55,014
BRIAN:
Yeah, not great.
306
00:12:55,166 --> 00:12:56,441
CHRIS:
I spit mine out in a napkin
307
00:12:56,592 --> 00:12:58,592
and put it
in his "workout area."
308
00:12:58,612 --> 00:13:00,853
BRIAN:
Well, I think we know
he won't find it in there.
309
00:13:01,006 --> 00:13:03,156
(Brian and Chris laughing)
310
00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:06,267
♪ ♪
311
00:13:07,195 --> 00:13:10,530
I'm sorry your mother won't be
coming downstairs for dinner.
312
00:13:10,624 --> 00:13:12,682
I know, that damn sciatica.
313
00:13:12,700 --> 00:13:14,534
You know, she's got to go
see a doctor.
314
00:13:14,628 --> 00:13:16,110
The kids really
wanted to be here,
315
00:13:16,204 --> 00:13:19,372
but they're watching strangers
play video games on Twitch.
316
00:13:19,466 --> 00:13:23,284
BABS:
Lois, would you be a dear
and make a plate for me?
317
00:13:23,378 --> 00:13:25,211
Peter, I'm gonna open
a bottle of wine.
318
00:13:25,363 --> 00:13:27,547
Do you mind making a plate
and bringing it up for Mommy?
319
00:13:27,699 --> 00:13:30,141
Yeah, I can do that.
Maybe open a couple bottles.
320
00:13:30,334 --> 00:13:32,793
Oh, oh, why?
Did you, did you bring one?
321
00:13:32,813 --> 00:13:35,296
I didn't.
But you always say...
322
00:13:35,315 --> 00:13:37,315
Well, you typically say,
"Help yourself."
323
00:13:37,466 --> 00:13:39,526
One bottle ought to be plenty.
324
00:13:42,897 --> 00:13:44,380
Hey, Babs,
325
00:13:44,399 --> 00:13:47,033
I got something I think'll
make you feel better.
326
00:13:49,996 --> 00:13:52,330
Sounds like a hippo
clomping around up there.
327
00:13:52,481 --> 00:13:54,866
Ugh, I feel so sorry for Mommy.
328
00:13:55,018 --> 00:13:56,150
Don't worry about your mother.
329
00:13:56,169 --> 00:13:58,077
She's got her celebrity news
programs up there
330
00:13:58,229 --> 00:14:01,488
-keeping her company.
-(laughs) Yeah, right.
331
00:14:01,508 --> 00:14:03,191
♪ ♪
332
00:14:03,193 --> 00:14:06,586
Wait, celebrity news?
(gasps) What time is it?
333
00:14:06,662 --> 00:14:08,588
Just about 7:30. Why?
334
00:14:08,664 --> 00:14:10,181
Oh, my God. Oh, my God!
335
00:14:10,333 --> 00:14:11,908
♪ Extra, extra. ♪
336
00:14:12,077 --> 00:14:14,427
(groans)
337
00:14:14,579 --> 00:14:15,928
Peter, no!
338
00:14:16,081 --> 00:14:17,021
Peter!
339
00:14:17,173 --> 00:14:18,915
(Hawaiian-style music playing)
340
00:14:18,933 --> 00:14:20,266
LOIS: Peter!
341
00:14:20,418 --> 00:14:22,251
Peter!
342
00:14:22,270 --> 00:14:23,786
♪ ♪
343
00:14:23,846 --> 00:14:24,696
Peter!
344
00:14:26,533 --> 00:14:31,018
Peter...!
345
00:14:31,096 --> 00:14:34,614
(screaming)
346
00:14:34,766 --> 00:14:38,751
Ah...
347
00:14:48,871 --> 00:14:51,014
(phone ringing)
348
00:15:07,132 --> 00:15:09,282
(phone buzzing)
349
00:15:18,752 --> 00:15:20,977
-(turns radio on)
-♪ Just eat it ♪
-♪ Eat it ♪
350
00:15:20,995 --> 00:15:21,920
-♪ Just eat it ♪
-♪ Eat... ♪
351
00:15:22,147 --> 00:15:23,671
(turns radio off)
352
00:15:27,335 --> 00:15:29,677
♪ ♪
353
00:15:31,823 --> 00:15:33,322
Stewie, you here?
354
00:15:33,324 --> 00:15:37,310
Got your text, so let's see
that "best tennis ball ever."
355
00:15:40,165 --> 00:15:41,397
STEWIE:
Hey.
356
00:15:42,333 --> 00:15:44,000
Didn't hear you guys come in.
357
00:15:44,018 --> 00:15:45,184
Stewie.
358
00:15:45,353 --> 00:15:47,837
Hey, we were just saying
how cozy it feels in here.
359
00:15:47,930 --> 00:15:51,282
Yeah, Brian used the term
"lived-in," and I totally agree.
360
00:15:51,434 --> 00:15:53,767
There's just this real
welcoming vibe...
361
00:15:53,861 --> 00:15:55,102
Right. Oh, good.
362
00:15:55,196 --> 00:15:58,014
Welcoming is exactly
what I was going for.
363
00:15:58,107 --> 00:16:00,607
(screaming)
364
00:16:00,627 --> 00:16:02,276
Wh-What the hell, Stewie?
365
00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:03,444
What the hell was that ab...?
366
00:16:03,463 --> 00:16:04,504
(grunting)
367
00:16:05,614 --> 00:16:06,522
(groans)
368
00:16:07,525 --> 00:16:09,025
You two think I don't know
what's going on?
369
00:16:09,194 --> 00:16:11,694
I've heard every word
you two said about me
370
00:16:11,787 --> 00:16:13,304
and about my man cave.
371
00:16:13,456 --> 00:16:15,881
So... you know how
much we love it.
372
00:16:15,976 --> 00:16:17,809
Ow! And for no reason!
373
00:16:18,036 --> 00:16:20,720
I bought a thousand
of these frozen quiches.
374
00:16:20,872 --> 00:16:25,632
And you two are gonna eat
every... last... one of them.
375
00:16:25,727 --> 00:16:26,967
(gulping)
376
00:16:26,987 --> 00:16:29,045
There you go.
Good boy.
377
00:16:29,063 --> 00:16:30,396
Those aren't the...
378
00:16:30,548 --> 00:16:32,973
They're not the chicken sausage
ones again, are they?
379
00:16:33,067 --> 00:16:35,159
They are the chicken sausage.
380
00:16:35,386 --> 00:16:38,738
Do, um, do you mind if I get
a glass of water, then?
381
00:16:38,890 --> 00:16:40,331
I just, um...
382
00:16:40,483 --> 00:16:42,316
I just found them
a little dry, is all.
383
00:16:42,335 --> 00:16:43,559
Oh, were they dry?
384
00:16:43,652 --> 00:16:45,911
You know, for my taste
they were a little...
385
00:16:46,064 --> 00:16:47,913
(gulping)
386
00:16:48,008 --> 00:16:50,091
(muffled groaning)
387
00:16:59,853 --> 00:17:02,061
(brakes screech softly)
388
00:17:04,006 --> 00:17:06,190
(turn signal clicking)
389
00:17:12,866 --> 00:17:14,365
(sighs)
390
00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:16,576
♪ ♪
391
00:17:18,038 --> 00:17:21,113
Hey, Stewie, come on.
Let us out of here.
392
00:17:21,266 --> 00:17:22,431
Stewie?
393
00:17:22,600 --> 00:17:24,691
Chris, now's our chance.
We got to get out of here.
394
00:17:24,769 --> 00:17:26,461
(both grunting)
395
00:17:28,940 --> 00:17:30,030
(gasps)
396
00:17:30,124 --> 00:17:31,957
Heading somewhere?
397
00:17:32,110 --> 00:17:33,609
Stewie.
398
00:17:33,702 --> 00:17:34,777
No. No.
399
00:17:34,796 --> 00:17:36,703
My own brother.
400
00:17:36,723 --> 00:17:39,115
My so-called best friend.
401
00:17:39,133 --> 00:17:40,283
I trusted you.
402
00:17:40,301 --> 00:17:42,376
I invited you into my man cave,
403
00:17:42,470 --> 00:17:45,354
and all you did
was humiliate me.
404
00:17:46,382 --> 00:17:48,791
Stewie, no.
Please don't kill me.
405
00:17:48,810 --> 00:17:51,977
Wait. Did, did,
did you make that?
406
00:17:52,072 --> 00:17:54,072
What? Of course I did. Why?
407
00:17:54,299 --> 00:17:56,074
Wow.
No, it's just--
408
00:17:56,225 --> 00:17:58,910
I-I just don't know
how you're able to make
409
00:17:59,137 --> 00:18:01,470
such cool weapons at your age.
410
00:18:01,564 --> 00:18:04,731
Wow, that is really well-made.
Holy crap.
411
00:18:04,809 --> 00:18:06,309
Do you have any others?
412
00:18:06,402 --> 00:18:08,978
-Yeah, of course I have more.
-Are you serious?
413
00:18:09,071 --> 00:18:11,314
Yeah, I have like a hundred--
Wait a minute.
414
00:18:11,332 --> 00:18:13,740
You're not gonna win me over
with flattery.
415
00:18:13,835 --> 00:18:15,593
♪ ♪
416
00:18:19,507 --> 00:18:22,007
Is there... is there
anything else you like about it?
417
00:18:22,102 --> 00:18:24,844
Yeah, yeah, I mean, I mean,
418
00:18:24,996 --> 00:18:27,346
ch-check out how sturdy
the sight bridge is.
419
00:18:27,515 --> 00:18:29,256
First thing
I noticed, too, Chris.
420
00:18:29,275 --> 00:18:31,000
And, of course,
the cocking stirrup.
421
00:18:31,002 --> 00:18:33,002
Yeah, very pretty.
422
00:18:33,095 --> 00:18:36,005
Barnett makes a hell of a bow,
but this is probably
423
00:18:36,098 --> 00:18:38,174
one of the nicest ones
I've ever seen.
424
00:18:38,192 --> 00:18:41,536
Anyway, Stewie, you can go ahead
and kill us now.
425
00:18:46,976 --> 00:18:48,367
Listen, if you guys want,
426
00:18:48,444 --> 00:18:50,986
I suppose I could show you
how to make one.
427
00:18:51,038 --> 00:18:53,522
You'd do that?
Even after everything we--
428
00:18:53,541 --> 00:18:55,591
even after everything
Chris said?
429
00:18:57,211 --> 00:19:00,138
Of course I will.
I love you guys.
430
00:19:00,289 --> 00:19:01,973
We love you, too, Stewie.
431
00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:04,383
Listen, go clean yourselves up.
I'm around.
432
00:19:04,552 --> 00:19:06,552
Just come by whenever,
and I'll show you.
433
00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:07,870
Thank you, Stewie.
434
00:19:07,963 --> 00:19:08,980
Do you do parties here?
435
00:19:09,207 --> 00:19:11,298
Because this is, like,
a good event space.
436
00:19:11,467 --> 00:19:13,133
Eric is turning 50 next month,
437
00:19:13,153 --> 00:19:14,819
and we still don't have
the venue.
438
00:19:15,046 --> 00:19:16,136
I think we do now.
439
00:19:16,230 --> 00:19:17,321
I'll put together a menu.
440
00:19:17,473 --> 00:19:19,824
Any dietary restrictions
I should know?
441
00:19:19,975 --> 00:19:21,826
He says he's on a seafood diet.
442
00:19:22,053 --> 00:19:24,645
He sees food, then he eats it.
443
00:19:24,664 --> 00:19:26,706
(all laughing)
444
00:19:28,393 --> 00:19:31,243
I got to meet this guy.
He sounds like a nut.
445
00:19:31,396 --> 00:19:33,337
♪ ♪
446
00:19:36,659 --> 00:19:39,418
Well, you know, Rupert,
I think the lesson here
447
00:19:39,570 --> 00:19:41,737
is that maybe
I shouldn't be so concerned
448
00:19:41,830 --> 00:19:43,088
with what other people think.
449
00:19:43,165 --> 00:19:45,908
I should trust my instincts
and be myself...
450
00:19:45,927 --> 00:19:47,410
(Brian and Chris laughing)
451
00:19:47,503 --> 00:19:49,353
BRIAN:
Oh, I can't believe
he bought it.
452
00:19:49,505 --> 00:19:53,006
CHRIS:
Like we would ever do
Eric's nifty fifty up there.
453
00:19:53,026 --> 00:19:56,843
BRIAN:
And the table assignment card
station would be where exactly?
454
00:19:56,863 --> 00:19:58,362
CHRIS:
And that crossbow?
455
00:19:58,514 --> 00:20:00,272
I mean, a Barnett is like,
I don't know,
456
00:20:00,366 --> 00:20:02,591
Thor's hammer compared
to that thing.
457
00:20:02,593 --> 00:20:04,276
BRIAN:
When you pointed out
the cocking stirrup--
458
00:20:04,370 --> 00:20:06,111
I mean, if you can
call that one--
459
00:20:06,264 --> 00:20:07,279
I thought I was gonna lose it.
460
00:20:07,432 --> 00:20:08,964
CHRIS:
Oh, I know. If you're gonna...
461
00:20:09,024 --> 00:20:12,435
BRIAN: Oh, oh.
Hey, there he is, David Cross.
462
00:20:12,453 --> 00:20:15,287
CHRIS:
Riddick Bowe. The Crossbow Kid.
463
00:20:15,364 --> 00:20:16,789
-(bow snaps)
-CHRIS: Ow!
-(thud)
464
00:20:16,925 --> 00:20:19,032
BRIAN:
Stewie... Come on, Stewie.
465
00:20:19,126 --> 00:20:20,609
-(bow snaps)
-BRIAN: Aah!
-(thuds)
466
00:20:20,703 --> 00:20:22,035
MEG:
Hey, Stewie.
467
00:20:22,055 --> 00:20:23,870
Sorry, I couldn't
find a shirt or a bra,
468
00:20:23,890 --> 00:20:26,782
so I figured I'd just let 'em
flop around the hallway...
469
00:20:26,875 --> 00:20:28,542
-(bow snaps)
-(thud)
470
00:20:28,636 --> 00:20:31,020
Mom! Stewie shot himself.
471
00:20:47,638 --> 00:20:49,038
There you go.
472
00:20:50,733 --> 00:20:52,166
Get it all out.
473
00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:55,494
Hey, guys.
474
00:20:55,588 --> 00:20:58,481
-♪ Extra, extra. ♪
-Peter, no.
475
00:20:58,499 --> 00:21:00,466
No, no, no, no!
36379
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