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♪ It seems today that all you see ♪
2
00:00:04,897 --> 00:00:07,840
♪ Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
3
00:00:07,991 --> 00:00:11,826
♪ But where are those good old-fashioned values ♪
4
00:00:11,846 --> 00:00:14,179
♪ On which we used to rely? ♪
5
00:00:14,331 --> 00:00:17,683
♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪
6
00:00:17,834 --> 00:00:21,336
♪ Lucky there's a man who positively can do ♪
7
00:00:21,430 --> 00:00:22,929
♪ All the things that make us ♪
8
00:00:23,082 --> 00:00:24,248
♪ Laugh and cry ♪
9
00:00:24,266 --> 00:00:30,154
♪ He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! ♪
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"Hey, guys, home with groceries.
11
00:00:40,099 --> 00:00:42,690
Could use a hand unloading."
12
00:00:42,768 --> 00:00:44,117
And send.
13
00:00:44,211 --> 00:00:47,437
Now I wait for them to come out
to help their dear old mom.
14
00:00:47,456 --> 00:00:49,715
-(phone chimes)
-PETER: Do it yourself!
15
00:00:49,866 --> 00:00:51,508
(sighs)
16
00:00:53,612 --> 00:00:57,431
(laughter)
17
00:00:59,118 --> 00:01:01,226
Hi, sad lady.
18
00:01:01,378 --> 00:01:03,970
Junior, our dinner talk
stays inside.
19
00:01:04,065 --> 00:01:06,123
Hi, normal lady.
20
00:01:06,141 --> 00:01:08,625
What are you guys doing?
It's Sunday.
21
00:01:08,644 --> 00:01:11,144
I thought husbands had
to watch football all day
22
00:01:11,297 --> 00:01:12,629
or they get cancer.
23
00:01:12,722 --> 00:01:14,239
Today's our family fun day.
24
00:01:14,391 --> 00:01:18,135
That's right, a whole day
dedicated to family and fun,
25
00:01:18,153 --> 00:01:20,320
ending in the bedroom
with what I hope will be
26
00:01:20,472 --> 00:01:22,139
some back-end participation.
27
00:01:22,157 --> 00:01:24,065
-Hmm?
-Mm-mm.
28
00:01:24,159 --> 00:01:25,567
(disappointed groan)
29
00:01:25,586 --> 00:01:28,403
(Stewie snoring)
30
00:01:28,497 --> 00:01:29,237
(Lois grunts)
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00:01:29,331 --> 00:01:30,589
I am so tired of this family
32
00:01:30,740 --> 00:01:32,816
just sitting around
and doing nothing.
33
00:01:32,835 --> 00:01:34,484
The Browns are outside
having fun
34
00:01:34,503 --> 00:01:35,910
while we're in here
loafing around
35
00:01:35,930 --> 00:01:37,654
like a bunch of stupid potatoes.
36
00:01:37,823 --> 00:01:41,174
Mom, I've been anonymously
cyberbullied for a decade.
37
00:01:41,251 --> 00:01:43,660
"Stupid potato" doesn't even
leave a mark.
38
00:01:43,753 --> 00:01:47,164
We need to spend some quality
time together like the Browns.
39
00:01:47,182 --> 00:01:49,274
So we're doing
a family fun day.
40
00:01:49,426 --> 00:01:51,593
Oh, family-free fun day
sounds great.
41
00:01:51,612 --> 00:01:53,595
No, family fun day.
42
00:01:53,689 --> 00:01:54,855
Yeah, family-free fun day.
43
00:01:54,931 --> 00:01:58,508
No, Peter.
Family. Fun. Day.
44
00:01:58,602 --> 00:01:59,843
(phone rings)
45
00:01:59,862 --> 00:02:00,844
PETER: Yeah, I'm already at The Clam.
46
00:02:00,937 --> 00:02:02,329
Have fun.
47
00:02:06,127 --> 00:02:09,611
All right, nothing's more fun
than a family card game.
48
00:02:09,630 --> 00:02:11,296
Now, the game is euchre.
49
00:02:11,373 --> 00:02:15,801
"Begin by separating the nines,
tens, face cards and aces
50
00:02:15,952 --> 00:02:17,118
"from the rest of the deck.
51
00:02:17,138 --> 00:02:20,197
"The goal is to win at least
three 'tricks.'
52
00:02:20,290 --> 00:02:22,366
"Now, if the side that fixed
the trump fails
53
00:02:22,384 --> 00:02:25,144
"to get three tricks,
it is said to be 'euchred.'
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00:02:25,371 --> 00:02:28,555
"The highest trump is the jack
of the trump suit,
55
00:02:28,724 --> 00:02:30,482
"called the 'right bower.'
56
00:02:30,634 --> 00:02:33,652
"Partnership-making trump wins
three or four tricks
57
00:02:33,879 --> 00:02:35,061
"and earns one point.
58
00:02:35,214 --> 00:02:37,656
"Lone hand wins
three or four tricks,
59
00:02:37,883 --> 00:02:40,050
"also earns one point.
60
00:02:40,143 --> 00:02:42,995
"However, a lone hand wins
five tricks,
61
00:02:43,164 --> 00:02:44,979
"that's worth four points.
62
00:02:45,073 --> 00:02:49,242
Many euchre games are scored
by rubber points, as in whist."
63
00:02:49,395 --> 00:02:52,320
Ooh, ooh. "The first side
to win two games
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00:02:52,414 --> 00:02:54,989
-wins the rubber."
-(gunshot, thud)
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00:02:55,009 --> 00:02:57,734
"The dealer has the right
to exchange
66
00:02:57,827 --> 00:02:59,085
any turned-up card..."
67
00:02:59,238 --> 00:03:01,087
Oh, my God, it's the same.
68
00:03:01,240 --> 00:03:03,089
"If the face-up card
is a jack,
69
00:03:03,184 --> 00:03:04,683
-it's considered bad luck
for..."
-(gunshot, thud)
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00:03:04,910 --> 00:03:08,261
"After two rounds, if no
trump suit has been declared
71
00:03:08,414 --> 00:03:10,522
"and the 'stick-the-dealer' rule
is not in effect,
72
00:03:10,674 --> 00:03:13,433
then the cards are collected
and reshuffled."
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00:03:13,527 --> 00:03:15,843
ANNOUNCER:
Family Guy is brought to you by contract bridge.
74
00:03:15,863 --> 00:03:17,604
Way simpler than euchre.
75
00:03:17,756 --> 00:03:20,199
You see, in contract bridge, each player is dealt 13 cards
76
00:03:20,426 --> 00:03:22,259
from a standard 52-card deck.
77
00:03:22,277 --> 00:03:23,851
A trick starts when a player leads,
78
00:03:23,946 --> 00:03:25,687
i.e. plays the first card.
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00:03:25,706 --> 00:03:29,124
The leader to the first trick is determined by the auction.
80
00:03:32,028 --> 00:03:33,437
So, what do you think, gang?
81
00:03:33,455 --> 00:03:35,789
I thought it could be
a fun family activity
82
00:03:35,958 --> 00:03:37,791
if we had a make-your-own-pizza
night.
83
00:03:37,943 --> 00:03:39,292
Or we could order Domino's.
84
00:03:39,445 --> 00:03:41,778
No, come on, this'll be fun.
85
00:03:41,797 --> 00:03:43,222
Everyone gets their own crust,
86
00:03:43,373 --> 00:03:47,133
and you can choose from any
of the items I put out, huh?
87
00:03:47,286 --> 00:03:51,121
It could be olives,
it could be peppers.
88
00:03:51,139 --> 00:03:54,566
And for the risk takers, I even
put out some pineapple.
89
00:03:54,718 --> 00:03:57,827
You can put anything you want
on your pizza.
90
00:03:57,829 --> 00:04:01,481
Yeah, I'm putting a Domino's
pizza on my pizza.
91
00:04:01,633 --> 00:04:03,633
ANNOUNCER: Domino's-- we're both terrible
92
00:04:03,727 --> 00:04:05,619
and better than your pizza.
93
00:04:09,808 --> 00:04:12,325
Ah, this is nice, huh?
94
00:04:12,402 --> 00:04:14,644
Oh, it's so good to get
the whole family
95
00:04:14,663 --> 00:04:17,981
out of the house and see Quahog
from a different perspective.
96
00:04:18,116 --> 00:04:19,816
It's a little tight.
97
00:04:19,909 --> 00:04:23,153
-(heat jet whooshes)
-So, how'd you get into
hot-air ballooning?
98
00:04:23,155 --> 00:04:25,155
They don't do background checks.
99
00:04:25,248 --> 00:04:28,934
Oh. What are we
flying over now?
100
00:04:29,085 --> 00:04:30,418
My ex-wife's house.
101
00:04:30,512 --> 00:04:34,164
If you have any garbage
or little bags of cat poo,
102
00:04:34,257 --> 00:04:36,090
you can drop them now.
103
00:04:37,278 --> 00:04:40,261
Did you know restraining orders
only go side to side?
104
00:04:40,355 --> 00:04:42,698
They don't go up and down.
105
00:04:45,452 --> 00:04:47,953
Well, there's got to be
one thing we can all
106
00:04:48,180 --> 00:04:49,513
enjoy together as a family.
107
00:04:49,531 --> 00:04:51,515
You know, I think we're
trying too hard.
108
00:04:51,517 --> 00:04:53,274
When I was a kid
we did movie nights,
109
00:04:53,294 --> 00:04:55,685
and it was the Holy Grail
of family fun.
110
00:04:55,779 --> 00:04:58,188
-I'd watch a movie
-I'd watch a porn movie.
111
00:04:58,206 --> 00:04:59,631
No, a family movie.
112
00:04:59,858 --> 00:05:01,449
I'd watch a MILF porn movie.
113
00:05:01,468 --> 00:05:03,969
Okay, technically
that's accurate, but no porn.
114
00:05:04,196 --> 00:05:06,863
All right, let's fire up
Amazon or Netflix.
115
00:05:06,882 --> 00:05:08,122
No streaming services.
116
00:05:08,216 --> 00:05:09,624
They've ruined how
we watch movies.
117
00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:12,035
I'm talking about
an old-school movie night
118
00:05:12,128 --> 00:05:13,961
where we rent one
from Blockbuster.
119
00:05:14,056 --> 00:05:16,373
Some of my best
childhood memories were when
120
00:05:16,391 --> 00:05:18,208
I went to rent a video
with my dad.
121
00:05:18,301 --> 00:05:19,709
Him and I never really
got along,
122
00:05:19,728 --> 00:05:22,321
but the one place where we did
was Blockbuster.
123
00:05:22,472 --> 00:05:24,714
He'd let me pick out
any snack I wanted
124
00:05:24,716 --> 00:05:26,550
while he grabbed our
fifth-choice movie
125
00:05:26,643 --> 00:05:28,643
because we got there too late
to get the good ones.
126
00:05:28,662 --> 00:05:29,903
But that was part of it,
127
00:05:29,997 --> 00:05:31,312
because it wasn't
about the movie,
128
00:05:31,332 --> 00:05:33,390
it was about the night
you spent together.
129
00:05:33,408 --> 00:05:35,500
I think renting a movie's
a great idea.
130
00:05:35,727 --> 00:05:36,501
Let's do it.
131
00:05:36,728 --> 00:05:37,819
So it's settled.
132
00:05:37,913 --> 00:05:38,986
The Griffins are making it
133
00:05:39,006 --> 00:05:40,339
a Blockbuster night.
134
00:05:40,490 --> 00:05:43,083
When we get there,
I'll give you 20 bucks to say,
135
00:05:43,159 --> 00:05:45,761
"I've heard Magic Mike is good."
136
00:05:50,075 --> 00:05:52,834
Huh. This used to be
the Blockbuster.
137
00:05:52,853 --> 00:05:54,928
Oh, man, it's gone.
138
00:05:55,080 --> 00:05:56,079
Were you also looking for...
139
00:05:56,098 --> 00:05:58,081
Very tall prostitute, yes.
140
00:05:58,100 --> 00:05:59,416
Is that what you were
going to say?
141
00:05:59,509 --> 00:06:02,027
She used to hang out here--
hands like a palm leaf.
142
00:06:02,196 --> 00:06:05,346
She would do sex but also help
with light bulbs and stuff.
143
00:06:05,366 --> 00:06:08,033
I think her name was Phillip.
144
00:06:08,184 --> 00:06:10,535
I see some of my students
in your car.
145
00:06:10,687 --> 00:06:12,454
That's good for me.
146
00:06:13,448 --> 00:06:14,781
I'm sure there's one
still open.
147
00:06:14,933 --> 00:06:16,116
I'll just google it.
148
00:06:16,268 --> 00:06:19,603
Eh, I got to type in my code
'cause I got too fat
149
00:06:19,696 --> 00:06:22,714
-for the facial recognition
to work.
-Brutal.
150
00:06:22,866 --> 00:06:24,774
Oh, good. See?
There is one still open.
151
00:06:24,793 --> 00:06:27,293
GPS VOICE: Drive north for a quarter of a mile,
152
00:06:27,462 --> 00:06:29,554
then turn left onto Highway 20.
153
00:06:29,781 --> 00:06:32,966
Continue straight for 2,980 miles.
154
00:06:33,060 --> 00:06:34,208
-What?!
-Oh, yeah.
155
00:06:34,377 --> 00:06:35,969
The last Blockbuster
in existence
156
00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:37,621
is in Bend, Oregon.
157
00:06:37,714 --> 00:06:40,381
Did I not say that?
Strap in, everybody,
158
00:06:40,401 --> 00:06:42,734
the Griffins are going
on a road trip.
159
00:06:42,961 --> 00:06:45,720
Well, it looks like
the family Griffin
160
00:06:45,739 --> 00:06:49,616
is headed off down Holiday Road.
161
00:06:54,415 --> 00:06:58,232
And Lindsey Buckingham
has said no.
162
00:06:58,252 --> 00:06:59,826
Well, that's all right.
163
00:06:59,978 --> 00:07:01,903
I reckon, if you're
a man named Lindsey,
164
00:07:02,030 --> 00:07:04,214
you don't get to call
the shots very often.
165
00:07:09,930 --> 00:07:11,504
Peter, this is crazy.
166
00:07:11,657 --> 00:07:15,082
We can't drive 3,000 miles
just to rent a movie.
167
00:07:15,102 --> 00:07:16,268
Would you please turn around?
168
00:07:16,419 --> 00:07:18,678
Lois, the whole family fun thing
was your idea.
169
00:07:18,755 --> 00:07:20,513
Don't get mad at me
'cause I'm following through.
170
00:07:20,666 --> 00:07:23,257
But I only have
one pair of underwear.
171
00:07:23,351 --> 00:07:24,684
Oh, that's not a problem.
I got tons of
172
00:07:24,761 --> 00:07:25,944
women's underwear in the back.
173
00:07:26,171 --> 00:07:28,095
(chuckles):
Why, why do you have that?
174
00:07:28,190 --> 00:07:29,189
Tons of it.
175
00:07:29,341 --> 00:07:31,432
Don't we have a say
in all this, Dad?
176
00:07:31,452 --> 00:07:33,285
Yeah, we don't want to drive
all the way to Oregon.
177
00:07:33,436 --> 00:07:34,953
Aw, it's gonna be fun, guys.
178
00:07:35,104 --> 00:07:36,362
We're gonna see
the whole country,
179
00:07:36,457 --> 00:07:37,514
like we're in one of those
180
00:07:37,532 --> 00:07:39,683
Bruce Springsteen Jeep
commercials.
181
00:07:39,851 --> 00:07:42,686
SPRINGSTEEN: America is made up of a lot of states.
182
00:07:42,779 --> 00:07:46,022
Some of them really stink, but some of them don't stink.
183
00:07:46,041 --> 00:07:48,115
-(alarmed mooing)
-So buy a Jeep.
184
00:07:48,135 --> 00:07:50,802
They flip easy, but you'll be okay.
185
00:07:50,954 --> 00:07:52,762
Probably be okay.
186
00:07:54,624 --> 00:07:56,716
One of the perks
of a cross-country trip
187
00:07:56,868 --> 00:07:59,703
is stopping for a meal
and meeting the friendly folks
188
00:07:59,705 --> 00:08:02,872
who make up the heart and soul
of our country.
189
00:08:02,966 --> 00:08:04,966
Hello, we're from the Northeast.
190
00:08:05,060 --> 00:08:08,069
(dramatic music playing)
191
00:08:10,824 --> 00:08:11,990
Okay, then.
192
00:08:12,141 --> 00:08:14,618
(whispering):
We'll do 55 pancakes to go.
193
00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:20,207
(squawking):
Trump!
194
00:08:21,409 --> 00:08:23,293
-Trump!
-Trump!
195
00:08:24,153 --> 00:08:25,653
-Trump.
-Trump.
196
00:08:25,747 --> 00:08:27,731
-Trump!
-Trump!
-Trump!
197
00:08:27,749 --> 00:08:29,007
-Trump! Trump!
-Trump!
198
00:08:29,158 --> 00:08:30,825
-Trump!
-Trump!
-Trump!
199
00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:32,010
-Trump!
-Trump!
200
00:08:32,237 --> 00:08:34,387
(overlapping squawking)
201
00:08:37,333 --> 00:08:40,076
-Trump!
-Trump!
-Trump...
202
00:08:40,095 --> 00:08:42,354
(squawking continues)
203
00:08:49,012 --> 00:08:51,271
(sighs)
I'm not getting any service.
204
00:08:51,423 --> 00:08:52,772
-Where are we?
-Hey, I don't know.
205
00:08:52,924 --> 00:08:55,534
But we can figure it out
by which radio stations come in.
206
00:08:55,761 --> 00:08:57,427
(static)
207
00:08:57,445 --> 00:09:00,872
MAN (on radio): You're listening to G-U-N-S AM radio.
208
00:09:01,099 --> 00:09:03,266
All guns all the time.
209
00:09:03,359 --> 00:09:05,268
-Is the caller there? -(three rapid gunshots)
210
00:09:05,287 --> 00:09:07,120
Ha, ha, I couldn't agree more.
211
00:09:07,272 --> 00:09:08,788
Sounds like we're
somewhere between
212
00:09:08,940 --> 00:09:10,123
Washington and Washington.
213
00:09:10,275 --> 00:09:12,609
Well, we got to almost
be there, right?
214
00:09:12,702 --> 00:09:13,868
A few more hours.
215
00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:15,111
Trust me, it'll all be worth it
216
00:09:15,130 --> 00:09:16,796
once we walk into that store.
217
00:09:16,873 --> 00:09:18,281
Plus, I'll be able
to finally return
218
00:09:18,300 --> 00:09:20,041
this copy of Ladyhawke.
219
00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:23,544
You remembered
to rewind that, right?
220
00:09:23,564 --> 00:09:25,430
(all screaming)
221
00:09:25,657 --> 00:09:27,624
♪ ♪
222
00:09:27,642 --> 00:09:30,402
(rewinding noise)
223
00:09:30,553 --> 00:09:33,446
♪ ♪
224
00:09:36,743 --> 00:09:38,968
You know what I'm thinking,
Peter?
225
00:09:39,062 --> 00:09:40,987
Instead of going to Blockbuster,
we drive right into
226
00:09:41,081 --> 00:09:42,747
the first pond we see.
227
00:09:42,899 --> 00:09:44,749
It'll be a quicker death
than this trip.
228
00:09:44,901 --> 00:09:47,460
Guys, look.
229
00:09:50,332 --> 00:09:53,316
Ah! Oh, my God, it's real.
230
00:09:53,409 --> 00:09:55,176
We made it.
231
00:09:58,673 --> 00:10:00,765
Well, I suppose I should be
the responsible one
232
00:10:00,992 --> 00:10:03,326
and release all the car farts.
233
00:10:03,495 --> 00:10:04,677
(flatulence)
234
00:10:04,754 --> 00:10:07,513
You're free now. Go.
235
00:10:07,666 --> 00:10:11,851
(flatulence)
236
00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:13,519
I said go!
237
00:10:13,596 --> 00:10:16,022
(flatulence)
238
00:10:16,174 --> 00:10:18,533
(sobbing)
239
00:10:27,461 --> 00:10:28,852
Here it is, guys.
240
00:10:28,854 --> 00:10:31,278
This is where kids would come
every Friday night
241
00:10:31,298 --> 00:10:33,189
and see their teacher
wearing jeans.
242
00:10:33,208 --> 00:10:36,283
Dad, who's Christian Slater?
243
00:10:36,303 --> 00:10:39,471
Some actors never made it
out of Blockbuster, Chris.
244
00:10:39,622 --> 00:10:41,473
(insects trilling)
245
00:10:43,368 --> 00:10:44,868
Sliver. Fun movie.
246
00:10:44,961 --> 00:10:46,961
Yeah, it's Sharon Stone,
so it's nudity
247
00:10:47,130 --> 00:10:48,521
moms will put up with.
248
00:10:50,208 --> 00:10:53,376
Hmm, it looks like you have
a late fee for Ladyhawke.
249
00:10:53,469 --> 00:10:55,803
Ah, no problem.
How much is it?
250
00:10:55,897 --> 00:10:59,716
$32,419.
251
00:10:59,734 --> 00:11:03,161
Look, uh, we traveled
a really long way to get here,
252
00:11:03,312 --> 00:11:05,646
and I kind of promised
my family a movie night.
253
00:11:05,666 --> 00:11:08,408
Oh. Then the plot
just got interesting.
254
00:11:08,560 --> 00:11:10,168
Where are you on your journey?
255
00:11:10,395 --> 00:11:11,670
About the end of act two?
256
00:11:11,821 --> 00:11:13,579
I read a lot
of screenplay books.
257
00:11:13,732 --> 00:11:15,748
There's got to be some way
we can work this out.
258
00:11:15,901 --> 00:11:18,492
Sorry, but we're pretty strict
about our late fees.
259
00:11:18,512 --> 00:11:21,513
We kind of blew up our
whole company for 'em.
260
00:11:21,664 --> 00:11:23,740
So, no money, no rental.
261
00:11:23,742 --> 00:11:25,742
Uh, $32,000, you say?
262
00:11:25,760 --> 00:11:29,062
I don't have that on my person.
263
00:11:31,599 --> 00:11:35,768
♪ Hands ♪
264
00:11:35,862 --> 00:11:39,923
♪ Touching hands ♪
265
00:11:40,016 --> 00:11:42,492
♪ Reaching out ♪
266
00:11:43,929 --> 00:11:46,020
♪ Touching me ♪
267
00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:47,280
♪ Touching you. ♪
268
00:11:47,432 --> 00:11:50,041
Ah, here it comes.
All together now...
269
00:11:50,193 --> 00:11:52,435
-Drive, Lois, drive!
-(turns radio off)
270
00:11:52,454 --> 00:11:55,046
(tires screech)
271
00:11:56,791 --> 00:11:58,107
Nothing worse than a case
272
00:11:58,201 --> 00:11:59,634
of Neil Diamond blue balls.
Am I right?
273
00:12:09,637 --> 00:12:11,045
Peter, just pull over.
274
00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:13,122
We can talk to them
and figure this out.
275
00:12:13,141 --> 00:12:15,308
No. A high-speed chase
is preferred
276
00:12:15,460 --> 00:12:18,144
-over small talk
with an employee. Aah!
-(gunshot)
277
00:12:18,296 --> 00:12:20,221
I hear Magic Mike is good.
278
00:12:20,298 --> 00:12:22,465
Way too late, dude.
279
00:12:22,484 --> 00:12:24,650
-(tires screeching)
-(gunshots)
280
00:12:24,745 --> 00:12:25,910
I can lose these guys.
281
00:12:26,062 --> 00:12:28,321
Chris, pour me out a handful
of those Runts.
282
00:12:28,490 --> 00:12:30,731
How's eating candy
gonna help us?
283
00:12:30,825 --> 00:12:32,992
Runts are the hardest candy
in the world.
284
00:12:33,144 --> 00:12:35,462
They're not for eating,
they're for hucking.
285
00:12:36,998 --> 00:12:39,332
-(both cry out)
-(tires screech)
286
00:12:39,484 --> 00:12:41,408
Meg, there's a stack of posters
in the back.
287
00:12:41,503 --> 00:12:43,669
We can throw 'em out the car
and blind 'em.
288
00:12:43,764 --> 00:12:45,412
Just run the posters
by me first.
289
00:12:45,432 --> 00:12:46,914
-Judge Dredd?
-Nah, keep that one.
290
00:12:46,933 --> 00:12:48,157
I want to put it
in the basement.
291
00:12:48,176 --> 00:12:49,325
-Cool World?
-Keep.
292
00:12:49,418 --> 00:12:50,918
- Milk Money?
-Uh, keep.
293
00:12:50,937 --> 00:12:52,103
These are all terrible movies.
294
00:12:52,330 --> 00:12:54,189
Just throw one out.
295
00:12:56,501 --> 00:12:57,942
You know, that movie
still holds up.
296
00:12:58,094 --> 00:12:59,611
It didn't hold up then.
297
00:12:59,762 --> 00:13:01,529
(both crying out)
298
00:13:03,116 --> 00:13:05,358
(sighs)
It worked. We lost them.
299
00:13:05,527 --> 00:13:09,120
Yes! No one ruins
a Griffin family fun day.
300
00:13:09,272 --> 00:13:11,122
Who wants a turnaround
high five?
301
00:13:11,274 --> 00:13:12,457
Dad, watch the road!
302
00:13:12,684 --> 00:13:15,043
(all screaming)
303
00:13:17,964 --> 00:13:20,447
(gasps)
Is everyone okay?
304
00:13:20,542 --> 00:13:21,949
I swallowed my retainer,
305
00:13:21,968 --> 00:13:24,527
but I'll do a little
stool fishing later.
306
00:13:24,529 --> 00:13:27,597
-(engine not turning over)
-(gunshots)
307
00:13:29,200 --> 00:13:31,226
Oh, they're still after us.
We got to run.
308
00:13:41,488 --> 00:13:43,655
(shotguns pump)
309
00:13:43,882 --> 00:13:46,065
Give up. We got you.
It's over.
310
00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:48,067
Well, actually it's not.
311
00:13:48,219 --> 00:13:51,070
I think this might be
the "all is lost" moment.
312
00:13:51,164 --> 00:13:53,222
-What?
-You know, it seems over
313
00:13:53,241 --> 00:13:55,558
because there's an
insurmountable obstacle
314
00:13:55,651 --> 00:13:57,335
in their way,
but instead of giving up,
315
00:13:57,504 --> 00:13:58,336
they double down.
316
00:13:58,487 --> 00:14:00,672
-Lois, we got to jump.
-See?
317
00:14:00,823 --> 00:14:02,006
The fall will kill us.
318
00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:03,958
I've seen Rambo
jump from higher.
319
00:14:04,010 --> 00:14:06,511
I think if we jump
it'll cut to that scene.
320
00:14:06,662 --> 00:14:07,828
Peter, that's crazy.
321
00:14:07,922 --> 00:14:08,829
Do you trust me?
322
00:14:08,923 --> 00:14:09,922
-No!
-(grunts)
323
00:14:10,016 --> 00:14:12,475
♪ ♪
324
00:14:17,265 --> 00:14:19,357
(branches snapping)
325
00:14:23,530 --> 00:14:25,605
Oh, what the hell?
326
00:14:25,699 --> 00:14:27,423
(Griffins grunting)
327
00:14:27,442 --> 00:14:29,942
♪ ♪
328
00:14:30,019 --> 00:14:32,078
(branches snapping)
329
00:14:34,933 --> 00:14:38,710
(all grunting)
330
00:14:40,029 --> 00:14:41,546
-I told you.
-I know.
331
00:14:41,697 --> 00:14:43,106
Peter Griffin, PhD.
332
00:14:43,274 --> 00:14:44,865
Petty, heavy dope.
333
00:14:44,992 --> 00:14:46,885
Wow, she really had that
locked and loaded.
334
00:14:47,036 --> 00:14:48,702
This is crazy.
Those guys are trying to kill us
335
00:14:48,796 --> 00:14:50,054
because of a late movie.
336
00:14:50,206 --> 00:14:51,280
We should just call
the police.
337
00:14:51,374 --> 00:14:53,090
Oh, look who's already
walking back
338
00:14:53,317 --> 00:14:54,951
their "Defund the Police"
stance.
339
00:14:54,969 --> 00:14:56,302
Little different
when it's real life
340
00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:59,213
and not trying to impress
Alyssa Milano on Twitter. Hmm?
341
00:14:59,307 --> 00:15:02,125
Oh, this is not good.
It's gonna get dark soon.
342
00:15:02,143 --> 00:15:03,568
-We need a plan.
-Don't worry.
343
00:15:03,795 --> 00:15:04,903
We can hike back to the car
344
00:15:05,130 --> 00:15:06,220
and call for help
from the road.
345
00:15:06,314 --> 00:15:07,630
We're gonna get through this.
346
00:15:07,799 --> 00:15:08,814
Now, before we head off,
347
00:15:08,967 --> 00:15:10,224
I'm gonna divvy out
our rations.
348
00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:12,226
I'll start with this pack
of Starbursts.
349
00:15:12,320 --> 00:15:15,580
There's pink for you,
orange for you, red for me,
350
00:15:15,731 --> 00:15:19,400
yellow for you, pink for you,
red for me...
351
00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:21,310
You keep giving yourself
all the reds.
352
00:15:21,329 --> 00:15:23,237
It's just completely random.
I'm just going in order.
353
00:15:23,256 --> 00:15:24,405
I can't help where
I'm standing.
354
00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:26,649
Okay, where was I?
Yellow for Chris,
355
00:15:26,668 --> 00:15:28,426
-red for me...
-You did it again.
356
00:15:28,653 --> 00:15:30,411
Okay, y-you know,
I tried being fair,
357
00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:32,655
but now I'm just gonna
lick all the reds.
358
00:15:32,748 --> 00:15:35,658
Now they have to be mine.
Next food-- Spree.
359
00:15:35,751 --> 00:15:39,520
Green for you, orange for you,
red for me!
360
00:15:46,595 --> 00:15:48,020
I think we're lost.
361
00:15:48,173 --> 00:15:49,689
We're gonna die out here.
362
00:15:49,841 --> 00:15:51,432
Guys, we can't give up now.
363
00:15:51,526 --> 00:15:53,192
We can and I shall.
364
00:15:53,361 --> 00:15:56,103
I'm gonna close my eyes
and go to my happy place,
365
00:15:56,197 --> 00:15:59,606
being screamed at by children
while playing Fortnite.
366
00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:02,609
No, your mom's a whore.
367
00:16:02,629 --> 00:16:04,278
Wait, guys, look.
368
00:16:04,297 --> 00:16:06,965
I think I see a cabin.
369
00:16:10,211 --> 00:16:13,212
It is a cabin.
We're saved.
370
00:16:13,364 --> 00:16:15,715
You can't say that word,
Brayden.
371
00:16:15,809 --> 00:16:18,226
None of you can say that word.
372
00:16:19,554 --> 00:16:22,146
(door creaks)
373
00:16:26,211 --> 00:16:27,893
Look, there's a radio.
We can...
374
00:16:28,046 --> 00:16:29,545
Watch Sliver on that VCR.
375
00:16:29,638 --> 00:16:32,048
What? No.
We need to call for help.
376
00:16:32,066 --> 00:16:33,157
We can do both.
377
00:16:33,326 --> 00:16:35,142
I am not gonna give up
on this movie night
378
00:16:35,161 --> 00:16:36,902
like we gave up on our marriage.
379
00:16:36,979 --> 00:16:39,480
Four therapy sessions is enough
to know where it's headed.
380
00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:42,225
There's a map on the wall
with government buildings
381
00:16:42,243 --> 00:16:43,851
connected by strings.
382
00:16:43,853 --> 00:16:45,003
Look, I know this hasn't been
383
00:16:45,230 --> 00:16:46,487
the easiest couple
of days, guys,
384
00:16:46,506 --> 00:16:49,156
but it'll all be worth it
once I put this tape in.
385
00:16:49,250 --> 00:16:51,876
I present to you Sliver.
386
00:16:52,103 --> 00:16:54,070
And it's Sliders, season two.
387
00:16:54,163 --> 00:16:56,597
Classic Blockbuster blunder.
388
00:16:58,351 --> 00:17:01,668
Oh, good. You numbskulls put
the wrong movie in here.
389
00:17:01,763 --> 00:17:02,836
I want a refund.
390
00:17:02,930 --> 00:17:04,838
Everybody outside now.
391
00:17:04,916 --> 00:17:06,173
I can't believe this.
392
00:17:06,192 --> 00:17:08,342
All I was trying to do was
have a nice movie night
393
00:17:08,361 --> 00:17:11,087
with my family, and you guys
keep ruining it.
394
00:17:11,105 --> 00:17:14,348
Wow, this is very similar
to a screenplay I wrote.
395
00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:17,201
This guy is too into movies.
396
00:17:17,353 --> 00:17:18,761
Remember, the one
I had you read
397
00:17:18,780 --> 00:17:21,781
that was like Love Actually
meets Independence Day?
398
00:17:21,933 --> 00:17:23,875
Uh, yeah, sure, I remember.
399
00:17:24,026 --> 00:17:26,026
-You didn't read it?
-I'm gonna.
400
00:17:26,120 --> 00:17:29,363
Don't be mad at me.
Be mad at, you know, these guys.
401
00:17:29,457 --> 00:17:31,791
I'm sorry, kids,
all I wanted to do
402
00:17:31,885 --> 00:17:33,718
was something special
with you guys.
403
00:17:33,869 --> 00:17:35,945
That one thing you'd remember
doing with me
404
00:17:35,963 --> 00:17:38,464
for the rest of your lives,
but I failed.
405
00:17:38,558 --> 00:17:41,801
Another failure in
a long string of failures.
406
00:17:41,895 --> 00:17:43,302
Are you kidding, Dad?
407
00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:46,472
-This has been the most
exciting day ever.
-It has?
408
00:17:46,624 --> 00:17:50,142
Yeah. We left the house
three days ago to rent a movie
409
00:17:50,295 --> 00:17:52,461
and now we're in the middle
of the woods in Oregon
410
00:17:52,555 --> 00:17:54,906
and might get murdered
by Blockbuster guys.
411
00:17:55,057 --> 00:17:56,574
Like, what is this?
412
00:17:56,651 --> 00:17:58,910
Yeah, we never know
what you're gonna do.
413
00:17:59,137 --> 00:18:01,304
It's usually silly or dangerous,
414
00:18:01,322 --> 00:18:03,230
but it's also kind of awesome.
415
00:18:03,249 --> 00:18:05,308
Yeah. Remember when he had
tiny arms
416
00:18:05,401 --> 00:18:07,919
-for, like, three months?
-Or when he brought home
that horse.
417
00:18:08,088 --> 00:18:10,571
Or that falcon.
Or that parrot.
418
00:18:10,648 --> 00:18:12,406
Lot of illegal animals.
419
00:18:12,500 --> 00:18:15,000
Or when that little guy
lived in his neck.
420
00:18:15,095 --> 00:18:16,986
What the hell was that?
421
00:18:17,004 --> 00:18:19,079
Every few years
he fights a giant chicken
422
00:18:19,099 --> 00:18:20,098
and destroys a city.
423
00:18:20,249 --> 00:18:22,249
No one's named
a good thing yet.
424
00:18:22,268 --> 00:18:24,660
You had a blimp
with your face on it.
425
00:18:24,679 --> 00:18:27,179
Your mother put me on pills
after I bought that.
426
00:18:27,332 --> 00:18:29,682
You see, Dad, we don't need
a movie night
427
00:18:29,834 --> 00:18:31,183
for us to remember you.
428
00:18:31,336 --> 00:18:34,320
Every day is like
a movie night with you.
429
00:18:38,176 --> 00:18:40,343
Well, I guess Mom knew
what she was doing
430
00:18:40,361 --> 00:18:43,028
when she insisted on
family fun day.
431
00:18:43,197 --> 00:18:45,514
Super sweet moment, guys.
432
00:18:45,608 --> 00:18:47,850
I'm gonna assume
this was all a callback
433
00:18:47,869 --> 00:18:49,127
to something in act one.
434
00:18:49,278 --> 00:18:52,505
Time to go outside now.
435
00:18:55,301 --> 00:18:58,302
Guys, please, I'm the one
with the late fees.
436
00:18:58,529 --> 00:19:00,713
Don't hurt my family.
I'll do anything.
437
00:19:00,865 --> 00:19:04,049
Well, I have this screenplay,
it-it's an epic sci-fi,
438
00:19:04,202 --> 00:19:06,477
and it's mostly stage directions
where they...
439
00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:07,687
Just kill us!
440
00:19:08,464 --> 00:19:09,814
(all gasp)
441
00:19:10,041 --> 00:19:12,108
What the hell?!
442
00:19:15,546 --> 00:19:17,029
(both grunt)
443
00:19:28,743 --> 00:19:31,502
Amazon drones?
You saved us.
444
00:19:31,695 --> 00:19:36,174
Once again a streaming service
annihilates a Blockbuster.
445
00:19:36,250 --> 00:19:37,249
Wa-boosh.
446
00:19:37,402 --> 00:19:39,585
How did you even know
we were here?
447
00:19:39,737 --> 00:19:43,255
DRONE:Based on your recent purchases,viewing habits and stored data,
448
00:19:43,408 --> 00:19:45,016
we determined that you were being chased
449
00:19:45,167 --> 00:19:46,833
through the wilderness by the last two
450
00:19:46,928 --> 00:19:48,761
Blockbuster employees on Earth.
451
00:19:48,913 --> 00:19:50,246
Wow. Scary.
452
00:19:50,264 --> 00:19:52,523
I owe you an apology, Amazon.
453
00:19:52,675 --> 00:19:54,934
You're a pretty amazing service
after all.
454
00:19:55,086 --> 00:19:59,104
DRONE 2: Yes, I agree. Amazon workers should not unionize.
455
00:19:59,257 --> 00:20:00,364
I-I didn't--
I didn't say that.
456
00:20:00,591 --> 00:20:02,942
Well, they sure can play dumb
when they want to.
457
00:20:03,036 --> 00:20:05,110
Please stop spying on us, Alexa.
458
00:20:05,279 --> 00:20:07,354
Okay. Playing holiday music now.
459
00:20:07,373 --> 00:20:11,209
♪ And since we've no place to go ♪
460
00:20:11,394 --> 00:20:15,087
♪ Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow. ♪
461
00:20:20,703 --> 00:20:23,370
Well, that Blockbuster adventure
sure was fun,
462
00:20:23,389 --> 00:20:25,038
but we should probably just
watch movies
463
00:20:25,132 --> 00:20:26,206
at home from now on.
464
00:20:26,300 --> 00:20:27,874
You know, Dad,
while we were flying home,
465
00:20:27,894 --> 00:20:30,636
I did order something
special for you.
466
00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:34,047
Sliver! We can still do
our old-school movie night.
467
00:20:34,067 --> 00:20:35,566
I'll hook up the VCR.
468
00:20:37,795 --> 00:20:39,403
Aw, damn it, we can't watch it.
469
00:20:39,555 --> 00:20:40,905
I don't have the right
adaptor cable.
470
00:20:41,132 --> 00:20:42,907
The last Circuit City
in the U.S.
471
00:20:43,058 --> 00:20:45,801
is in St. Augustine, Florida.
472
00:20:45,820 --> 00:20:49,138
-Let's go.
-(all cheer)
473
00:20:49,231 --> 00:20:50,806
PETER (over Echo): I'll start the car.
474
00:20:50,825 --> 00:20:53,325
(chuckles)
Looks like the Griffins are
at it again.
475
00:20:53,478 --> 00:20:56,812
Hi, I'm Jeff Bezos,
and I'm rich and bald.
476
00:20:56,905 --> 00:20:59,632
Guess which one matters.
Good night.
37719
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