Original subtitles

You better write your letter now and mail it right away, because he's getting

ready, his reindeer's and his sleigh.

You better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout, I'm telling

why.

Christmas Eve day and still no snow.

I was kind of hoping for a white Christmas.

Me too.

Remember, mon chéri, we will have a white Christmas on the white sand

the Caribbean.

Right. If we ever get out of this line, we're going to miss our flight. How hard

is it to mail a letter? Let the staff and move!

Now, Piggy, we have to be patient, just like everybody else.

I'm going to have to talk to the mayor about this.

What? Yes, Miss Piggy.

Oh, Mayor Blue!

Miss Piggy, that would be rude.

And the one thing New Yorkers are known for is being polite.

What has he done to this city?

Well, look at it like this. At least we get to spend a little more time with our

friends. After all, this will be the first Christmas we've ever spent apart.

I know.

It sure would have been nice to spend the holiday together.

Is this line even moving?

Miss Piggy, come on. This is the best time of the year. We should just slow

and enjoy it.

You blink twice and the year's gone by.

I started thinking there's got to be a reason. Why would time want to learn to

fly? Get you quicker to your favorite season.

Starting around Thanksgiving.

Count the ways we're blessed.

Suddenly the world's out shopping and twin cells are back.

Hey, give it up for the folks in gray.

Some applause for the postal service. Tough enough for the Christmas rush.

Always cheerful in the ways they serve us. Snow nor sleep nor frozen feet will

cause this gang to fail.

Our goal is pure. We're making sure that Santa gets his mail.

is this.

We're delivering free.

Hey, come on, guys. Let's go.

We're delivering.

You guys want to help?

Sure.

Come on.

Gonzo, give him Claire's letter.

Here's a letter for Santa.

Gonzo, why don't you bring my tail?

Do you really think Santa Claus is going to read those letters?

Pepe, don't you believe in Santa?

If you believe in Santa, then I believe in... Get your out of your mind.

Pick it up, gotta beat the clock.

Pick it up, cause the pressure's on us.

Letters flying around the world.

The little ones are depending on us. Christmas is approaching fast.

We all have parts to play.

When Christmas joy ignites the hopes and dreams of every girl and

boy.

We made the world a promise. There's nothing we won't do.

We're here to make your Christmas wish come true.

to pick things up.

Let's see how fast this little baby will go.

You need some help cleaning up?

Yeah. And I know just where to start.

Hey,

look what the postman just dropped off.

Return to thunder.

Come on, guys.

No, everything's a big joke, okay?

Very funny.

Huh. That didn't go so well.

These stickers are really thick.

Yes, they are.

Oh, hey, Gonzo. Oh, hi, Claire.

Did you mail my letter?

All taken care of.

Hi. Hi.

Guys, look what I found.

What's that? Oh, it's an inflatable Santa.

Can someone help me blow it up?

Did somebody say blow it up?

Oh, no.

And that is why you need to choose your words wisely around these guys.

Christmas dinner? We'd love to.

Oh. But we can't. Oh. We're all going away on vacation.

Oh. It seems like all my friends are going away for the holidays.

Yep. Now it's that time of year.

Well, since I'm not going to see you, Merry Christmas.

You too. Air kiss.

Bye,

Gonzo.

Sweetie, Christmas will be fun. We're going to be together.

Let's go in and blow up this Santa.

Okay.

Real leaves, too. Might as well take this thing off. Get everything in here.

Wait a minute.

What are these doing in here?

Gonzo, did you forget to mail your letters?

These aren't mine.

To Santa, North Pole.

These are all letters for Santa.

How did they get in there?

Mr. Hamlet, the post office.

Why, what happened at the... All right.

Wait a minute.

This one's from Claire.

I told her I'd mail it for her.

Oh, that's okay, Gonzo. Just take them back down to the post office and mail

them. Oh.

Yeah. Okay.

I'll go with you, Gonzo. All right. Let's go.

Okay. See you later. You are so smart.

Thanks, Fonzie.

Closing early on Christmas Eve.

Huh? They're already closed?

We're too late.

Oh, no.

These letters will never get there now.

I wonder what the kids wished for.

Maybe we should open the letters and see what they say.

Gentlemen, gentlemen, you cannot do that.

Let this serve as a reminder to us all. Opening mail that does not belong to you

is a federal offense.

You could go to prison.

Thank you.

I guess he's right.

And even worse.

If Santa finds out we read his mail, he might put us on his naughty list.

Then what are we going to do?

Tonight's Christmas Eve.

Listen, guys, I'm sure there must be some other way to get these letters to

Santa in time.

Santa?

Letters to Santa?

Okay, you know what? I will help you out, guys.

What is Santa's email?

Oh, let me guess, let me guess.

Jolly fat men are completely made up .coms.

Yeah,

well, listen, I'm not sure Santa actually uses the Internet.

Oh, I can assure you he doesn't. What?

I said, I can assure you he doesn't. With the magnetic interference from the

Aurora Borealis, also known as the Northern Lights, it would be most

for Santa to set up a wireless network.

But don't worry, because if you can't get Santa to grant your wish... We at

Muppet Labs can.

Allow us to demonstrate.

Beaker here is wearing our patented Wish Granter 3000.

All he has to do is whisper something with all his heart, and it will

immediately come true.

Beaker, go ahead and make your wish.

Oh,

wait!

It works perfectly.

So now, Beaker, if you will, please make another wish to send this young lady

back home.

Beaker, there's no time for diversions. Please send her home.

Um, it appears that Beaker has gotten a little carried away, and he's carried

away, unfortunately, the wish granter with him. So, um, um, I guess

that's lunch for me.

That almost worked.

Kermit, what am I going to do?

I mean, I don't want to tell Claire that I messed up.

She was counting on me.

Don't worry, Gonzo. We'll do everything we can to help her.

Guys, any ideas?

Hey, Kermit, maybe if we search around, we can find someone to help us.

Good idea.

And I know just what to look. A luxury spa in the Caribbean.

Come on, come here. Let's go.

Piggy, I can't leave just yet.

Of course you can. I already called for a car.

Piggy, what about helping Claire?

You know? Yeah. What about helping those kids?

Yeah. What about doing what's right?

Yeah. Yes.

Men!

Iggy, wait!

We're on the job, Chief. No need to get bent out of shape.

Too late.

Are you sure these guys can really get the letters to Santa before he leaves

tonight? Well, none of the other delivery services can get it there in

These guys say they can, right?

Absolutely. I'm a carrier pigeon. I can carry anything, anytime, anywhere.

Except during hunting season. I am not letting you become somebody's lunch.

Will you stop with your worrying?

This is why you should never marry a pigeon. All she does is peck, peck,

peck, peck, peck. Oh, I will give you such a peck.

Now, where are these letters going?

To the North Pole. Yeah, do you know how to get there?

Of course I do.

When have you ever flown to the North Pole?

How odd can it be? You just fly north.

But what about the weather?

I mean, it's freezing up there. You could catch your... You could catch the

flu. Will you two be quiet? I can't hear my show.

Maybe this wasn't such a great idea after all, huh?

Thank you.

Thank you.

Wonderful. Look, look. There they go. There they go. There's another gone

customer. Oh, I'm bad. I am trying to watch my show. Forgive me for trying to

keep you safe. You could be just broke.

So, uh, tell me why we're doing this again.

Because I am tired of these whole letters to Santa problems, all right?

want this problem to go away, and these guys can make the problems go away.

So, uh, just stay here. Yeah. I'll talk to them.

Okay, you got it. Good luck.

Gracias.

So the mother turns and says, That's all right, Johnny.

Use your hat.

Don Fradiablo sends his regards.

It's that annoying shrimp that called us earlier.

They call me the prawn.

Oh!

Are you correcting my friend?

Because I swear, if you get out of line, I'll dip you in cocktail sauce and bite

your tasty little head off.

Um, shrimp is fine.

Shrimp is fine.

That's more like it.

Now tell him the good news.

We made a few calls.

I found a guy who knows a guy whose cousin knows a guy who knows the cousin

guy that could get those letters to the North Pole tonight.

Huh? Why did you bust in my shadows?

Would I joke about letters to Sandy Claus?

I ain't getting on no naughty list.

We're going to take care of this.

But you better not tell anybody it was us who helped you. We won't tell nobody.

Hey! We don't talk to no rat. What?

Rule number one, never trust a rat.

Now get out of here.

We better not see you two around here again, or you're going to sleep with the

fishes.

Oh, I already do.

Enough of that.

Let's just sit and enjoy our meal.

What kind of pizza is this?

Oh, this is a speedy pizza.

How many times I got to tell you? Italian restaurant?

I tell you, fool.

Oops, sorry, Paulie.

Hey, guys, I started a website so people could post suggestions on how to

deliver those letters.

Hey, that's great. Hey, anybody logged on?

I haven't gotten a single hit yet.

Well,

there's our first hit.

You know, folks, I don't think we're having any real luck here. I'm not sure

what we can do to help these kids.

Well, hey, you know what? We gave it our best shot, right? How about we eat?

Come on, let's go.

That didn't help.

Wait a minute.

I have an idea.

We could deliver those letters ourselves.

You know Santa?

Well, no, but we all know where he lives. All we have to do is go to the

Pole.

Well, that's a very interesting idea, Gonzo, but I think it might be a little,

uh... Nuts?

Anyone want to... I'll have one. Okay, then.

Oh, sorry. Here you go.

But, Kermit, you said that you would do everything you could to help those

people. I didn't say that, Kermit.

But before he said that, he said that we were going to spend the holidays in the

Caribbean.

You did say that, too, Kermit. Stop helping, Fozzie.

If you really... think you should go to the North Pole, then I want you to go.

Really? Mm -hmm.

And when you get there, stay there!

But, but, Piggy, Piggy, it's not that I don't want to spend holidays with you.

Then you know where you can find me.

Watch it, watch it.

Why is the board coming through? Why is the board coming through?

Sorry, Kermit.

I think we're going to take Piggy's lead and head out on our vacation.

I'm all about far out, but the pole's way too cold. For sure.

Okay. Well,

sorry, Gonzo. I guess it just wasn't meant to be.

And, well, you know, we would love to go to the North Pole and see the Santa

Claus, but... But our flying unicorns are in the shop.

It's very funny. Right.

They're flying unicorn and they're very sensitive.

Could be because the unicorn's not real. Yeah, but they don't go to shops

either.

I just, I don't think we can fix this, Gonzo. I'm sorry.

We tried.

You know, it's a crazy idea.

But you guys don't want to just give up, do you?

I mean, come on.

What's in your heart?

What's in your heart?

That quiet place where the good guy lives and the best intentions start.

What's in your heart?

You know, Gonzo...

I don't think I can enjoy the holidays knowing I let those kids down.

Me neither.

You mean we're going?

We're going to the North Pole.

It may not be easy, guys, but we have to try. Well, if we're going to get there

by tonight, we better get moving.

Well, then let's get going.

We're traveling fast.

We're traveling light.

Yeah. Our merry mission hits the road tonight.

A Santa celebration and a journey that's all about heart.

What's in your heart? We know where to go to get the job done.

A place of business near the midnight sun.

And Santa's going to help us when we find him. He's all about heart.

These guys are crazy, okay?

I know. We can't miss this train wreck. Come on. Sharing in our one goal.

Knowing there is pleasure in a job done right.

Giving it our best.

Just working for the tiny top.

What I get for Christmas is my first Brasbite. I can't believe this is

unbelievable. I'm certain this lot will be on our side.

Hang on, it's gonna be a bumpy ride.

We're hoping for another happy ending.

It's all about heart.

It's all about heart.

Ow.

So, I know what's in your heart.

Tell me what's in your wallet, because you owe me $85 .73.

What a gent. Talk to the frog. You make any money?

Yeah. Check your pockets. I got some cashes.

Give us a minute.

Okay,

guys. We're going to get to

the North Pole tonight. We have to find an airline.

Okay. So do you know an airline that flies to the North Pole? Because I

What about that one?

North Pole Airlines?

You've got to be kidding me.

How convenient for people who want to go to the North Pole.

Okay, come on, guys.

Let's see if we can get some help here.

There doesn't seem to be anybody here.

Hello? Hi. Anybody here?

Hello? Hi.

Welcome to North Pole Airlines.

We have more flights going to North Pole than any other airline.

One. Oh, good.

Can we get on the next flight?

Mm -hmm.

Oh, but you're going to have to hurry.

Sure, absolutely.

Can I have your name, please?

I'm Pepe.

Well, it's Kermit the Frog and friends.

Kermit the Frog.

I'm Joy, the ticket agent.

Hi, Joy, the ticket agent.

Hi, Joy.

Hi.

Hey, um, candy cane?

Okay. Well, actually, Joy, I know... No, thank you. We just really need to get

the tickets if we can. Oh, you're all business, you know? I like that in a

Have a nice flight.

Thank you very much. Come on, come on. Let's go, come on.

You okay?

Today. Come on.

Bye.

Oh,

come on, let's go.

I'm coming, I'm coming.

Hey,

listen, Pepe, it says all your electronic devices must go in the bed.

All of them? All of them.

Black Betty.

Blue Betty.

Raspberry.

Halle Betty.

All right, help me with this thing.

Hey,

Bear. Yes, Frank?

Officer Meany.

Check out those creeps at 2 o 'clock.

I don't know what it is, but...

You just rubbed me the wrong way.

Oh, well, let's work that out a little bit. Let me see what we got here. What

are you doing?

I'm rubbing you the right way. You're very tense, Frank. Would you stop that?

Now, come on.

You've got to keep an eye on them.

Cheese!

I'm sorry, but I haven't been to the doctor in a while.

Do you see anything weird?

There's something unusual about them.

Roger that.

What gate? What gate are we at? I think it's 3B. Guys, guys, I got a funny one

for you. Who delivers Christmas presents to baby sharks?

Santa Jaws.

We're in a hurry, Bobby. Come on, guys.

Okay, all right, okay.

Hold it right there.

What happened? Well, sir, do you realize that it's a federal offense to tell

jokes in an airport security, especially ones that are that bad?

What? Oh, well, if you didn't like that one, I got a million of them here. Yeah,

how about this one? He's got cords!

He's got cords!

Whoa!

Oh, yeah, I got you now.

Ow.

Hold on, guys, hold on.

Yes, sir?

Bring them to the interrogation room. Uh, where?

The interrogation room.

You know where we had coffee? It used to be the coffee room. Now it's the

interrogation room.

How many times have I told you that?

Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Right away. All right, let's go, Yogi.

You know,

this is my favorite Christmas tradition.

Listening to Christmas carolers? No, heckling them.

Hey, you should sing Silent Night.

Not the song. Just stay silent all night.

Yeah. Denny, prepare the cattle prods.

Your highest voltage.

So tell me, what were you all planning on doing here today?

Sir, we were flying to the North Pole to deliver letters to Santa.

Please.

Obvious cover for another operation.

What's that? Oh, I wasn't listening. Hey, do I look fat in this picture?

Yes, very.

But, sir... We really do have letters for Santa Claus.

Oh, come on.

You don't really believe in that silly stuff, do you? Oh, no, no, sir.

Remember, you wrote a letter to Santa Claus. I thought I told you never to

mention that.

Okay. Never! Okay.

Officer, you wrote a letter to Santa?

Yeah. Okay, sorry.

Well, I was a little boy, all right? Yes, yes. Yeah.

I asked Santa for the only thing I wanted in the whole world.

A shiny new tricycle.

Shiny new tricycle.

With red ribbons on the handlebars.

And a little silver bell.

That went ding, ding, ding.

Ding, ding, ding.

Ding, ding, ding.

Ding, ding, ding. But then Christmas morning came.

I ran down the stairs.

Then guess what? There was no tricycle. Want to know why? We really kind of need

to get moving.

I'll tell you why.

Because I got put on... I got put on the naughty list.

Because I was a bully.

I think they're little snakes like you.

Same thing.

See? I scare everybody.

I'm the same bully now that I was back then.

I guess I'll never change.

There's always time to change.

I mean, what if you did something really nice right now?

Yeah. What?

Like let you go?

You could.

Don't tell me what to do, Rob.

No, no, no.

I give the orders around here. Absolutely.

And I'm telling you... Okay.

To get on that plane.

And deliver these letters to Santa.

Really? Quick, don't let him get away.

Move,

move.

Yes, sir.

I want to see all of you on that plane.

Excuse me? Wait a minute.

Where are you going?

Oh, you said move, move, move. I want to see you on that plane.

Not you.

Not me.

Shame.

But there's nobody here.

Oh, joy. Here's our tickets.

I'm sorry.

The plane is at the gate.

But we need to get on that plane.

I have an idea.

Yes, what's your idea?

What are we doing?

What's Kermit doing?

Oh, he's trying to dig you out.

Gonzo! Good grief.

My nose is frozen.

Where the heck are we?

I'd say we're at the North Pole.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, and look!

That must be Santa's workshop!

Oh, my goodness. Yeah. Come on, come on.

This is ridiculous.

Let's go, Pepe.

Wait a minute. Where's my hat?

Ah!

Yeah! Maybe he's got... something to eat. Wait up, guys.

Santa got a pretty big house, okay?

Well, he's a big guy.

Okay, this is it, guys. Come on.

Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas.

Are you one of Santa's elves?

You were very quick. He's very quick. Yes, I am. I'm Santa's she -fil.

Sir, can you help us? We have letters for Santa.

You know, you should have thought about going to the post office. That would

have saved you a lot of time.

But I know this is kind of unusual, sir, but could we actually speak to Santa?

Yes, you could.

Oh, good.

Yeah, yeah.

If he was here.

But he's not. You see, he already left.

You're too late.

You mean he's gone?

I'm sorry. I wish I could help. I really do.

But I can't. Sorry.

But Merry Christmas to one and to all. And a good night for... You know, you

hear it every year. You know how it goes.

Gee,

I really thought that if we came all this way...

Santa would be able to help.

I thought so, too.

I didn't.

I feel terrible.

You know, Gonzo, you did everything you could.

But what difference does it make, Kermit?

Claire trusted me, and I let her down.

There's nothing I can do about it.

It's all right, Kermit.

I think I just want to be alone.

I wish I could be Santa Claus for just one day.

I'd fill a bag with kindness and I'd give it all away.

I'd make the world a better place. I'd do that if I could.

I love the way it feels inside when I do something good.

I wish I could be Santa Claus.

Imagine that.

Although I could not fill his boots, I'd look great in his hat.

I'd love the milk and cookies.

And there's one more thing I'd do.

I'd try to teach the kids to be a little more like you.

We know that love.

can bless the heart when the tears begin to fall.

We know that love is the message of the season, the

greatest gift, and yes, one size fits all.

I wish we could be Santa Claus.

Perhaps we can.

The job's about the giving.

Not the suit and not the man.

It's all about the caring and the part that we can play

in spreading joy and peace on earth and love on

Christmas Day.

Wish I could be Santa Claus.

What's happening?

I don't know.

You don't think Santa heard us, do you?

Oh, come on.

You'd really believe that jolly old St. Nick just heard this song and he's going

to fly down on his magical sleigh and say...

Santa! Santa!

Santa! Merry Christmas!

You came back!

Well, you made a wish. We can't have a holiday wish that doesn't come true.

Is there still time to help us with these letters?

Well, of course there is. Now hop on to the sleigh. My flight attendant will

assist you. Welcome aboard.

Oh, Joy!

Oh, rapture. It's you.

Come on, come on. Come on, Kermit.

You and your friends don't want to miss this flight.

Come on, guys.

Good luck.

Bye -bye, Joy.

Thank you.

Let's go, boys. We've got some deliveries to make.

You better not open this one. Why not, Pepe?

Um... Pepe, is there something you want to tell everybody?

Okay, fine, I confess.

This letter is mine.

I wrote that letter to Santa Claus.

But you said you didn't believe... I know what I said, okay?

But I was just acting macho, okay?

Deep down...

I'm a really sensitive front.

Oh, well, of course you are, dear boy.

Now, that's why I'm going to grant your Christmas wish.

You want to be a most fabulous opera singer.

Oh, but, but, Santa, I cannot sing.

Oh, you can.

Don't we look at this letter?

Would you read it, Clement? Absolutely, sir. Well, it says, uh, it says... Dear

Santa, can you please take me off the naughty list?

Officer Frank Meany.

Wait a minute.

That's no kid. That's the security guy from the airport.

Well, you know, he turned out to be a pretty nice guy.

Yeah. Really?

Yeah. Oh, well, then perhaps it's time we took him off the naughty list.

Thank you, Santa, for taking me off the naughty list.

I'll be a good boy from now on, I swear.

What did I tell you?

Ding, ding, ding.

Ding, ding, ding.

Ding, ding, ding. Ding, ding, ding. Ding, ding, ding.

Don't start that again. Okay.

Now, this is the last one.

Hey, now you can read the letter from Claire.

Well, let's see what she asked for, shall we? Yeah.

Dear Santa.

I thought Christmas was the time of year when you're supposed to be with all the

people you care about.

But all my friends are going away.

If there's any way you can help, it would mean a lot to me.

Thank you.

Your friend, Clap.

Well,

I don't think you need my help with this one, do you?

You know, you're right, Santa. I think this is a wish we can grant on our own,

right, guys?

Yeah. Hey, Santa, can you take us home?

Well, of course I can, my dear. Hold on. Here we go.

Go!

company for holidays.

friend of Pepe's is a friend of mine. A little.

Enjoy. Hello. Hello.

Hello. Hello.

Hello. Hello.

Hello. Hello. Hello.

Hello. Hello. Hello.

Hello. Hello.

Okay. Yep, yep, this is it, everybody.

Hey, Kermit. Oh, you're all here.

Hey, Kermit. Hey, Kermit.

Hey, it's the Yule Frog. Hi, Dr. T.

Happy holidays.

Wow, nobody went on their vacations. We all get to spend the holidays together.

With the people we care about most.

You see, Gonzo, in the end, it all worked out for the best.

I guess it did.

The last thing I expected.

And nothing like I planned.

But somehow everything turned out perfect tonight. I think I understand.

It's the season where magical thinking completely applies.

Children can teach us that simply believing's the road to sweet surprise.

The sky is filled with prayers The night is full of hope and

of promises kept Because somebody cares

It's a season of beautiful endings we'll

never forget Knowing that we'll be together again

makes this my best Christmas yet This is my... Thank you.

May I cut in?

The year is almost

over.

This year is nearly done.

It's drifting toward that place where our memories live.

A gift for everyone.

Christmas yet.

This is my best Christmas yet.

Hey, everybody.

It's snowing. Come on.

We're going to have a white Christmas after all.

Hey, will you keep it down?

I don't know about you, but I think this is my worst Christmas yet. You know,

I... don't think Santa Grant's wishes.

Why's that?

We still live next to those guys.

Well,

I guess this is the time when I should wish all of you a happy... Oh,

happy holidays, everybody.