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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,210 --> 00:00:10,110 Ooh, that can't be Lorenzo and Claire. 2 00:00:10,120 --> 00:00:11,375 They're never early. 3 00:00:11,380 --> 00:00:13,000 Maybe they smelled your cooking. 4 00:00:16,090 --> 00:00:18,834 No, it's just the freeloaders that smelled it. 5 00:00:19,940 --> 00:00:22,940 I'm sorry, I didn't know freeloaders paid rent. 6 00:00:22,960 --> 00:00:24,960 Yeah, I still say we pay too much rent. 7 00:00:24,980 --> 00:00:26,209 Look at this place. 8 00:00:26,210 --> 00:00:27,799 All right, now, where's that pot roast I smell? 9 00:00:27,800 --> 00:00:29,750 - Yeah. - Whoa, not so fast. 10 00:00:29,760 --> 00:00:31,360 That food is for company. 11 00:00:31,370 --> 00:00:33,480 Not for people who we love and care about. 12 00:00:33,490 --> 00:00:34,500 Get out. 13 00:00:34,510 --> 00:00:35,750 - What? Wh... - Oh... 14 00:00:35,760 --> 00:00:38,334 Don't worry. Mommy made you boys some extra. 15 00:00:40,050 --> 00:00:41,250 Now get out. 16 00:00:43,980 --> 00:00:45,040 Oh, I get it. 17 00:00:45,050 --> 00:00:46,390 Y'all get a kitchen island 18 00:00:46,400 --> 00:00:49,209 and suddenly you're too good for us. 19 00:00:49,210 --> 00:00:50,417 Suddenly? 20 00:00:50,420 --> 00:00:51,519 We were too good for y'all 21 00:00:51,520 --> 00:00:53,840 when we got the George Foreman Grill. Bye-bye. 22 00:00:56,060 --> 00:01:00,230 - Synced & corrected by MementMori - -- www.MY-SUBS.com -- 23 00:01:04,380 --> 00:01:07,380 Oh, my G... I love the renovations, you guys. 24 00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:09,440 - Thank you. - Yeah, who was your contractor? 25 00:01:09,460 --> 00:01:10,580 An earthquake. 26 00:01:11,680 --> 00:01:13,299 And just like most contractors, 27 00:01:13,300 --> 00:01:15,459 she showed up whenever she felt like it. 28 00:01:17,420 --> 00:01:19,300 Uh, hey, guys, that was Gemma. 29 00:01:19,320 --> 00:01:22,959 She's stuck at work, so it looks like you're with just Dave tonight. 30 00:01:22,960 --> 00:01:24,917 Solo Dave. 31 00:01:24,920 --> 00:01:27,125 Dave after dark. 32 00:01:27,130 --> 00:01:29,542 Maybe we'll just keep the lights on. 33 00:01:31,500 --> 00:01:33,079 Hey, so Calvin said you guys used to live 34 00:01:33,080 --> 00:01:34,509 in the neighborhood. Why did you leave? 35 00:01:34,510 --> 00:01:36,209 'Cause the white people started moving in. 36 00:01:39,300 --> 00:01:41,709 - He's joking. - Yeah. 37 00:01:41,710 --> 00:01:44,417 We moved to D.C. for a few years for Lorenzo's job. 38 00:01:44,420 --> 00:01:48,375 Yeah, and when they moved back, they moved to the Westside. 39 00:01:49,340 --> 00:01:50,750 Leaving us behind. 40 00:01:50,760 --> 00:01:53,800 I could never leave you behind, C. Come on. 41 00:01:53,810 --> 00:01:57,042 Even though my best man tried to outshine me at my own wedding. 42 00:01:57,050 --> 00:02:00,584 Hey, don't be mad because I showed up suited and booted. 43 00:02:01,100 --> 00:02:02,530 You went with the basic black, 44 00:02:02,550 --> 00:02:04,060 I showed up with the purple tux 45 00:02:04,080 --> 00:02:06,260 with the Now & Later gators, man. 46 00:02:08,010 --> 00:02:10,390 Well, I am so glad you guys are back. 47 00:02:10,400 --> 00:02:12,709 So here's to picking up where we left off. 48 00:02:12,710 --> 00:02:13,900 Yeah. 49 00:02:13,920 --> 00:02:15,160 I love you, babe. 50 00:02:15,170 --> 00:02:18,959 And I love you, too, baby, just as much as I did back then. 51 00:02:18,960 --> 00:02:20,120 Aww. 52 00:02:20,130 --> 00:02:21,334 - Mwah. - Man, 53 00:02:21,340 --> 00:02:23,500 this makes me want to marry Gemma all over again 54 00:02:23,520 --> 00:02:26,084 just so you could be my best man. 55 00:02:26,820 --> 00:02:29,000 Remind me not to save the date. 56 00:02:30,280 --> 00:02:32,209 Looks like I need a refill. 57 00:02:32,210 --> 00:02:35,084 Oh, yeah. You know where it is. Right back there. 58 00:02:35,090 --> 00:02:38,090 Mm. All right, so now that he is gone, 59 00:02:38,100 --> 00:02:40,125 we need to plan our couples trip. 60 00:02:40,130 --> 00:02:42,209 And Dave, you and Gemma should come this time. 61 00:02:42,210 --> 00:02:43,960 Oh, well, what are we thinking? 62 00:02:43,980 --> 00:02:46,625 Aloha or buenos días? 63 00:02:46,630 --> 00:02:48,750 We'll be lucky if it's "welcome to Orange County." 64 00:02:49,840 --> 00:02:52,292 Yeah, Lorenzo never wants to go anywhere anymore. 65 00:02:52,300 --> 00:02:55,417 Neither does Calvin unless it's on Groupon. 66 00:02:55,420 --> 00:02:58,540 Tina, you sleeping on Groupon. Literally. 67 00:02:58,550 --> 00:03:00,584 Those sheets? $25. 68 00:03:02,010 --> 00:03:04,040 Plus, 30% off on teeth whitening. 69 00:03:07,210 --> 00:03:10,125 Yeah, looks like I need a refill, also. 70 00:03:10,130 --> 00:03:11,660 - All right. - Yeah, me, too. 71 00:03:11,680 --> 00:03:14,709 I'm single tonight, so I'm gonna turn up. 72 00:03:17,010 --> 00:03:19,740 As soon as I can get away, it'll just be you, me 73 00:03:19,750 --> 00:03:21,542 and those beautiful toes of yours. 74 00:03:23,380 --> 00:03:25,292 Bring the whipped cream. 75 00:03:26,890 --> 00:03:28,334 Hey. 76 00:03:28,340 --> 00:03:30,760 Hey. Uh... 77 00:03:30,770 --> 00:03:32,709 How long you guys been standing there? 78 00:03:32,710 --> 00:03:36,000 Long enough to know that you into some freaky stuff. 79 00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:37,834 Whoa. 80 00:03:37,840 --> 00:03:40,459 What an incredible time for me to lose my hearing. 81 00:03:44,880 --> 00:03:46,770 What is going on, Zo? 82 00:03:46,780 --> 00:03:49,280 I know you not out here creeping on Claire. 83 00:03:49,300 --> 00:03:51,667 Y'all were just all lovey-dovey on the couch. 84 00:03:51,670 --> 00:03:54,240 I got a lot of love in my heart, C. 85 00:03:54,260 --> 00:03:55,600 Some of it is for Claire 86 00:03:55,620 --> 00:03:58,960 and some of it's for this 23-year-old, beautiful dental assistant 87 00:03:58,980 --> 00:04:00,400 I met at Costco. 88 00:04:02,050 --> 00:04:03,470 You know what? 89 00:04:03,490 --> 00:04:05,820 We always said we'd keep it real with each other. 90 00:04:06,570 --> 00:04:09,667 Well, is this little side piece worth blowing up your marriage? 91 00:04:09,670 --> 00:04:11,000 I love Claire. 92 00:04:11,010 --> 00:04:13,830 But what she doesn't know won't hurt her. 93 00:04:13,850 --> 00:04:15,125 And you got my back, right? 94 00:04:15,840 --> 00:04:17,330 Remember The Man Code. 95 00:04:17,340 --> 00:04:19,340 The Man Code? 96 00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:21,000 Don't come at me with that. 97 00:04:21,020 --> 00:04:23,140 Look, I'm not down with your bull, 98 00:04:23,160 --> 00:04:25,625 but... I'm not a snitch, either. 99 00:04:25,630 --> 00:04:26,959 What about your boy? 100 00:04:26,960 --> 00:04:28,999 Oh, he over there telling Claire right now. 101 00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:31,042 - Oh, my God... - Look, look, look. 102 00:04:31,050 --> 00:04:33,890 Look, I'm just messing with you, 103 00:04:33,900 --> 00:04:35,917 but this a dangerous game you playing. 104 00:04:37,420 --> 00:04:38,620 Okay. 105 00:04:41,820 --> 00:04:43,334 Stop. 106 00:04:45,170 --> 00:04:46,917 Stop! 107 00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:49,630 Oh, my gosh, you are so funny! 108 00:04:49,640 --> 00:04:54,334 I said stop! Oh, okay, okay, I'll talk to you later. 109 00:04:54,340 --> 00:04:55,417 Hey, hon. 110 00:04:57,420 --> 00:05:00,334 Hey, who, uh, who's the comedian? 111 00:05:00,340 --> 00:05:02,510 Jameson, the school's soccer coach. 112 00:05:02,520 --> 00:05:03,959 I've been helping him with scheduling. 113 00:05:03,960 --> 00:05:06,250 Oh. He really had you laughing, huh? 114 00:05:06,260 --> 00:05:09,167 Yeah, I told him he should do stand-up. 115 00:05:10,180 --> 00:05:12,310 Stand-up? 116 00:05:14,190 --> 00:05:15,750 I don't think you ever said that to me. 117 00:05:16,940 --> 00:05:18,910 Yeah, well, there's stand-up funny 118 00:05:18,920 --> 00:05:21,584 and then there's "sitting around the house" funny. 119 00:05:23,700 --> 00:05:25,220 Oh, it's Jameson again. 120 00:05:25,230 --> 00:05:27,375 I'm laughing already. 121 00:05:28,340 --> 00:05:29,960 Hey, Jameson. 122 00:05:31,580 --> 00:05:35,000 Oh, my gosh, please stop! 123 00:05:38,140 --> 00:05:39,910 Did she just snort? 124 00:05:43,930 --> 00:05:45,040 Tonight was fun. 125 00:05:45,050 --> 00:05:47,959 Yeah, nothing like old friends, right? 126 00:05:47,960 --> 00:05:52,250 Eh, there was just something different about Lorenzo. 127 00:05:52,260 --> 00:05:53,900 Really? 128 00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:57,792 He seemed like the same old loud Lorenzo to me. 129 00:05:59,280 --> 00:06:00,950 No, I mean, 130 00:06:00,960 --> 00:06:04,000 every time he went into the kitchen to freshen up his drink, 131 00:06:04,010 --> 00:06:05,959 he came back with an empty glass. 132 00:06:06,840 --> 00:06:08,370 Maybe the man was thirsty. 133 00:06:10,290 --> 00:06:14,167 You know, Calvin, I don't mean to talk about your boy, but... 134 00:06:14,170 --> 00:06:16,167 I think he may have a drinking problem. 135 00:06:16,170 --> 00:06:17,720 Oh. 136 00:06:17,740 --> 00:06:20,040 You know, maybe you're on to something with that. 137 00:06:20,060 --> 00:06:22,500 Uh, we'll plan his intervention in the morning. Good night. 138 00:06:27,860 --> 00:06:30,870 Okay. What's going on, Calvin? 139 00:06:30,880 --> 00:06:32,960 Well, the lights. 140 00:06:32,980 --> 00:06:35,240 Even though I just turned them off. 141 00:06:35,250 --> 00:06:39,420 You ain't fooling nobody, Calvin Butler. 142 00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:40,790 You know something. 143 00:06:41,860 --> 00:06:44,120 Not at 11:59 at night, I don't. 144 00:06:44,130 --> 00:06:45,792 Okay? 145 00:06:47,330 --> 00:06:50,090 What's going on with Lorenzo? 146 00:06:50,100 --> 00:06:53,209 Babe, these are next-day questions, okay? All right. 147 00:06:54,120 --> 00:06:57,660 It's midnight, so technically, it is the next day. 148 00:06:57,670 --> 00:06:59,542 Spill it! 149 00:07:03,460 --> 00:07:04,790 Okay. 150 00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:07,167 What I'm about to tell you got to be kept a secret. 151 00:07:07,740 --> 00:07:09,900 Okay, but why are you whispering? 152 00:07:09,910 --> 00:07:10,917 I don't know. 153 00:07:15,460 --> 00:07:17,500 Lorenzo's having an affair. 154 00:07:18,640 --> 00:07:20,200 What? 155 00:07:20,210 --> 00:07:22,250 Yes. 156 00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:26,790 Oh, my God, I can't believe that jackass. 157 00:07:26,800 --> 00:07:29,417 Claire is gonna be devastated when she finds out. 158 00:07:29,420 --> 00:07:30,960 No, she's not. 159 00:07:30,970 --> 00:07:32,959 Because she's not gonna find out. 160 00:07:32,960 --> 00:07:34,542 At least not from us. 161 00:07:34,550 --> 00:07:35,917 Calvin. 162 00:07:35,920 --> 00:07:37,740 Tina. 163 00:07:37,760 --> 00:07:41,750 Look, now, I'm not gonna say nothing and neither are you. 164 00:07:41,760 --> 00:07:44,667 Men, we live by The Man Code. 165 00:07:44,670 --> 00:07:46,780 Look, if I know you know something, 166 00:07:46,790 --> 00:07:48,050 then I could tell you. 167 00:07:48,060 --> 00:07:50,180 But if I don't know that you know, 168 00:07:50,190 --> 00:07:52,125 then I can't tell you, you know? 169 00:07:53,880 --> 00:07:55,200 Oh, I know. 170 00:07:55,220 --> 00:07:59,180 And that nonsense should have expired when you turned 25. 171 00:07:59,200 --> 00:08:01,584 The Man Code is stupid. 172 00:08:01,590 --> 00:08:05,160 Well, if that isn't gender bias, I don't know what is, Tina. 173 00:08:07,700 --> 00:08:10,700 Calvin, Claire and I go way back, 174 00:08:10,710 --> 00:08:12,500 just like you and Lorenzo. 175 00:08:12,510 --> 00:08:15,459 And I will be calling her in the morning. 176 00:08:24,220 --> 00:08:25,760 Tina. 177 00:08:25,780 --> 00:08:29,375 You can't tell Claire that Lorenzo is cheating on her, 178 00:08:29,380 --> 00:08:32,750 'cause you'd be breaking The Marriage Code. 179 00:08:33,550 --> 00:08:34,917 The Marriage Code? 180 00:08:34,920 --> 00:08:37,750 Yes. It's sacred. 181 00:08:37,760 --> 00:08:43,542 Secrets between a husband and wife have to stay a secret. 182 00:08:43,550 --> 00:08:45,334 It's in the Bible. 183 00:08:46,300 --> 00:08:50,720 It's Leviticus 3:6... Mafia, or something. 184 00:08:52,340 --> 00:08:56,380 Yeah, but that does not outweigh Exodus 20:14 185 00:08:56,400 --> 00:08:59,292 "Do not screw around on your wife." 186 00:08:59,300 --> 00:09:02,420 All right, all I'm saying is that we should stay out 187 00:09:02,440 --> 00:09:04,334 of other people's relationships. 188 00:09:04,340 --> 00:09:07,140 Agreed, but I live by The Sister Code. 189 00:09:07,160 --> 00:09:10,200 And if Claire asks me directly if I know what's going on, 190 00:09:10,220 --> 00:09:11,834 then I have to tell her. 191 00:09:18,090 --> 00:09:20,420 Oh, my God, it's Claire. What am I gonna do? 192 00:09:21,380 --> 00:09:22,910 All right, now, you can't tell her. 193 00:09:22,920 --> 00:09:26,040 I been knowing Lorenzo since I was in junior high school. 194 00:09:26,060 --> 00:09:27,340 Give me a chance to talk to him, 195 00:09:27,350 --> 00:09:29,292 let him see if he can make this right. 196 00:09:29,300 --> 00:09:30,680 But what if she already knows? 197 00:09:30,700 --> 00:09:31,792 I got to pick up. 198 00:09:31,800 --> 00:09:33,334 Hello? 199 00:09:33,340 --> 00:09:35,120 Oh, a-are you okay? 200 00:09:36,150 --> 00:09:37,834 Oh, your car broke down. 201 00:09:37,840 --> 00:09:39,959 Ugh, that's great. 202 00:09:39,960 --> 00:09:41,560 I mean, not-not great. 203 00:09:41,580 --> 00:09:44,580 I mean, considering the news it could've been, yeah, yeah. 204 00:09:44,590 --> 00:09:47,680 O-Oh, yeah, okay. Yeah, have it towed to the shop. 205 00:09:47,700 --> 00:09:50,709 And-and Calvin will be happy to fix it in the mistress. 206 00:09:51,350 --> 00:09:54,250 I mean, the morning. In the morning. 207 00:09:55,760 --> 00:09:57,580 Okay. Bye-bye. 208 00:09:59,050 --> 00:10:00,667 Oh, my goodness. 209 00:10:00,670 --> 00:10:03,750 Look at my baby holding up The Marriage Code. 210 00:10:03,760 --> 00:10:06,125 - Come on, now. - Oh, yeah, it wasn't easy. 211 00:10:06,130 --> 00:10:07,417 You lucky you cute. 212 00:10:07,420 --> 00:10:10,120 - I'm cute, huh? - Mm-hmm. 213 00:10:10,130 --> 00:10:13,460 Am I cute enough for you to come on over here? 214 00:10:13,470 --> 00:10:14,542 Good night, Calvin. 215 00:10:18,170 --> 00:10:20,260 Y-You asleep already? 216 00:10:22,910 --> 00:10:24,700 Hey, honey. I'm taking a kickboxing class. 217 00:10:24,710 --> 00:10:26,539 - I'll be back in an hour. - Okey dokey, hot and smoky. 218 00:10:26,540 --> 00:10:27,710 - Mwah. - Mwah. 219 00:10:28,960 --> 00:10:31,292 Oh, hey, Gem, you forgot your phone. 220 00:10:32,500 --> 00:10:34,250 Oh. 221 00:10:34,260 --> 00:10:36,000 Text from Jameson. 222 00:10:41,800 --> 00:10:44,360 "Are we still on for 6:00? 223 00:10:44,380 --> 00:10:47,840 "Make sure to bring that peach emoji. 224 00:10:48,880 --> 00:10:52,200 Winky-face emoji, don't tell my wife." 225 00:10:53,860 --> 00:10:55,430 "Don't tell my wife"? 226 00:10:57,480 --> 00:10:59,220 This guy isn't funny at all. 227 00:11:01,740 --> 00:11:03,120 Maybe I'm missing something. 228 00:11:04,040 --> 00:11:06,000 Only one way to find out. 229 00:11:06,540 --> 00:11:07,960 Nope. 230 00:11:09,280 --> 00:11:10,870 What, did she change her password? 231 00:11:11,580 --> 00:11:12,700 Let me try her face. 232 00:11:20,220 --> 00:11:22,860 Oh, no. No, no, no. No, no, no. 233 00:11:22,880 --> 00:11:24,530 Ooh, don't lock, don't lock. 234 00:11:24,540 --> 00:11:26,375 Ooh, you locked. 235 00:11:26,380 --> 00:11:27,625 Darn it. 236 00:11:29,400 --> 00:11:31,559 Oh, hey, Grover, want to play Candy Crush on Mom's phone? 237 00:11:31,560 --> 00:11:32,880 - Here you go. - What? 238 00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:35,750 I-It's locked. 239 00:11:35,760 --> 00:11:37,584 What did you do? 240 00:11:38,920 --> 00:11:41,160 Nothing. You just handed it to me. 241 00:11:42,520 --> 00:11:43,700 What did you do? 242 00:11:49,200 --> 00:11:50,220 Hey, baby. 243 00:11:50,240 --> 00:11:52,670 Hey, babe. What are you doing here? 244 00:11:52,680 --> 00:11:56,080 Well, I am taking you out on a date. 245 00:11:56,090 --> 00:11:58,099 You know, I've been thinking about Claire and Lorenzo 246 00:11:58,100 --> 00:12:00,430 for the past few days, and it made me realize 247 00:12:00,440 --> 00:12:01,540 how good we have it. 248 00:12:01,550 --> 00:12:03,920 - Yeah, we do have it good, don't we? - Mm-hmm. 249 00:12:03,940 --> 00:12:06,250 Thou shall appreciate thy hot wife. 250 00:12:06,260 --> 00:12:07,340 That's right. 251 00:12:09,340 --> 00:12:11,660 So what's wrong with the cheater's car? 252 00:12:12,520 --> 00:12:14,334 A pair of panties in the tailpipe? 253 00:12:15,220 --> 00:12:19,000 You know, baby, I hate being put in this position by a two-timing, 254 00:12:19,020 --> 00:12:22,250 - no good, low... - ... renzo and Claire! 255 00:12:22,260 --> 00:12:24,360 - Hey, Calvin. - Hey. 256 00:12:24,380 --> 00:12:28,959 Well, your car is fixed and ready to go, you guys. 257 00:12:28,960 --> 00:12:31,250 Oh, Tina, I'm so happy you're here. 258 00:12:31,260 --> 00:12:32,917 There's something I wanted to ask you. 259 00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:34,500 W-Why do you need to ask her? 260 00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:36,834 You can ask me anything that you need. 261 00:12:38,100 --> 00:12:40,000 Because it's a question for Tina, 262 00:12:40,020 --> 00:12:41,690 'cause I know she'll be honest with me. 263 00:12:50,050 --> 00:12:53,340 Okay, so, this has been bothering me 264 00:12:53,360 --> 00:12:54,875 since we hung out the other night. 265 00:12:54,880 --> 00:12:58,167 Oh, thank God. You and me both. 266 00:12:58,170 --> 00:13:01,375 I knew it. My pound cake was so dry, huh? 267 00:13:01,380 --> 00:13:02,667 - Ugh. - Oh, no. 268 00:13:02,670 --> 00:13:04,800 - I think it needed more eggs. - No, no, no. 269 00:13:04,820 --> 00:13:08,840 Actually, Claire, your pound cake was great. 270 00:13:08,850 --> 00:13:09,959 And so are you. 271 00:13:10,920 --> 00:13:12,709 Lorenzo's lucky to have you. 272 00:13:12,710 --> 00:13:14,292 Thank you, Tina. 273 00:13:15,550 --> 00:13:16,792 So, what was bothering you? 274 00:13:16,800 --> 00:13:18,625 Ooh! Bae, Bae. 275 00:13:18,630 --> 00:13:20,042 Baby. 276 00:13:20,050 --> 00:13:22,940 Tina and Calvin are so busy. 277 00:13:22,950 --> 00:13:24,169 We should probably just get out of here, baby. 278 00:13:24,170 --> 00:13:27,334 Okay, but stop rushing me. I want to talk to our friends. 279 00:13:27,340 --> 00:13:30,459 - Okay, but we... - So, Calvin, Calvin. 280 00:13:30,460 --> 00:13:32,667 So I heard you guys had fun at the game. 281 00:13:32,670 --> 00:13:33,792 The game? 282 00:13:33,800 --> 00:13:35,990 Yeah, yeah. Stop playing, C. 283 00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:38,042 The Lakers game last night. 284 00:13:38,050 --> 00:13:39,084 The Lakers game. 285 00:13:39,090 --> 00:13:40,200 - Ha! - Yeah, yeah. 286 00:13:40,210 --> 00:13:43,917 Yeah, the game was, uh, uh, it was a crazy game. 287 00:13:43,920 --> 00:13:45,180 You know what I'm saying? 288 00:13:45,210 --> 00:13:47,400 I drank a lot of them $20 beers, though, 289 00:13:47,420 --> 00:13:50,959 so, you know me, you know, I got the... all night. 290 00:13:52,330 --> 00:13:53,667 I ended up winning some money. 291 00:13:53,670 --> 00:13:55,080 I won a lot of money last night. 292 00:13:55,090 --> 00:13:59,720 And g-guess I got lucky. That's me. Lucky, lucky Calvin. 293 00:14:02,020 --> 00:14:04,370 Calvin, can you help me find Lorenzo's keys 294 00:14:04,380 --> 00:14:06,000 in the office, please? 295 00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:09,080 Looks like my luck just ran out. 296 00:14:13,050 --> 00:14:14,870 Oh. 297 00:14:16,260 --> 00:14:17,834 - Hey. - Hey, guys. 298 00:14:17,840 --> 00:14:18,880 - Oh, hey. - Hi. Hey. 299 00:14:18,900 --> 00:14:21,070 I need some help unlocking Gemma's phone, 300 00:14:21,080 --> 00:14:23,292 and quickly, before she gets home. 301 00:14:23,300 --> 00:14:25,860 Uh, Dave, before we break into your wife's phone, 302 00:14:25,870 --> 00:14:28,334 shouldn't you explain why we breaking into your wife's phone? 303 00:14:30,020 --> 00:14:32,840 Sure. She has been spending a lot of time 304 00:14:32,860 --> 00:14:34,292 with the school's soccer coach. 305 00:14:34,300 --> 00:14:36,375 She thinks this guy is hilarious, 306 00:14:36,380 --> 00:14:37,930 but obviously he's no me. 307 00:14:37,950 --> 00:14:40,792 I mean, I'm the funniest guy that you two know, right? 308 00:14:40,800 --> 00:14:42,400 - Uh... - Um... 309 00:14:42,420 --> 00:14:43,584 You know what? 310 00:14:43,590 --> 00:14:46,542 Hey, you are the funniest Dave that we know. 311 00:14:47,670 --> 00:14:49,334 Yeah... Uh, oh, no. Dave Wilson. 312 00:14:49,340 --> 00:14:52,500 Oh, now, he is funny, right? He should do stand-up. 313 00:14:52,510 --> 00:14:54,917 - Dave Wilson... - Dave Wilson is a fool, boy. 314 00:14:54,920 --> 00:14:56,125 Oh, forget about Dave Wilson! 315 00:14:57,300 --> 00:14:58,760 Now, listen, 316 00:14:59,710 --> 00:15:03,120 Gemma left her phone, and I saw a text from him that said, 317 00:15:03,140 --> 00:15:05,292 "Bring that peach emoji," 318 00:15:05,300 --> 00:15:07,334 and then, "Don't tell my wife." 319 00:15:08,220 --> 00:15:10,500 What does the peach emoji even mean? 320 00:15:10,510 --> 00:15:12,110 Oh... 321 00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:13,360 - Uh... - So... 322 00:15:13,380 --> 00:15:17,150 Well, uh, well, in-in the ever-evolving parlance of young folks, 323 00:15:17,160 --> 00:15:20,375 it is generally associated with the gluteus maximus. 324 00:15:21,670 --> 00:15:24,625 "That ass," Dave. It means "that ass." 325 00:15:24,630 --> 00:15:26,042 It means "that ass"? 326 00:15:26,050 --> 00:15:27,600 - Yeah. - Hey, hey, hey. 327 00:15:27,620 --> 00:15:29,090 There must be some misunderstanding. 328 00:15:29,100 --> 00:15:30,589 Gemma would never step out on you, man. 329 00:15:30,590 --> 00:15:32,439 I know that, but if she finds out that I was snooping, 330 00:15:32,440 --> 00:15:34,260 then she's gonna think that I don't trust her, 331 00:15:34,270 --> 00:15:35,379 and then she won't trust me. 332 00:15:35,380 --> 00:15:37,549 And then the next thing you know, she's hiding assets overseas 333 00:15:37,550 --> 00:15:39,167 and I'm picking up Grover on weekends. 334 00:15:39,940 --> 00:15:41,280 Okay, don't worry, Dave. 335 00:15:41,300 --> 00:15:43,584 You got the power of the U.S. government on your side. 336 00:15:45,480 --> 00:15:49,280 This is high-tech equipment used to debug the Mars rover, 337 00:15:49,290 --> 00:15:52,140 but now I can finally use it for something important. 338 00:15:52,150 --> 00:15:53,167 All right. 339 00:15:53,170 --> 00:15:55,200 Oh! Oh... 340 00:15:57,710 --> 00:15:59,020 Did it work? 341 00:16:02,010 --> 00:16:05,250 I can't believe you lied for that cheating Lorenzo. 342 00:16:05,260 --> 00:16:07,560 Look, I didn't have no choice, Tina. 343 00:16:07,570 --> 00:16:09,920 All right? We've always had each other's back. 344 00:16:09,940 --> 00:16:13,042 What kind of man would I be if I sold out my oldest friend? 345 00:16:13,050 --> 00:16:16,250 The kind of man who does the right thing, 346 00:16:16,260 --> 00:16:17,500 even when it's hard. 347 00:16:19,440 --> 00:16:21,250 Yo, everything good in here? 348 00:16:23,090 --> 00:16:24,792 Calvin will fill you in. 349 00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:35,292 So, she knows, doesn't she? 350 00:16:35,300 --> 00:16:37,834 Tina's not your problem. Claire is. 351 00:16:37,840 --> 00:16:40,250 Why didn't you pick up on the Lakers thing quicker, man? 352 00:16:40,260 --> 00:16:43,625 Oh, I'm sorry. Did I not lie fast enough for you? 353 00:16:43,630 --> 00:16:46,170 It was bad enough you pulled me into your mess, 354 00:16:46,180 --> 00:16:48,125 but now you messing up my thing. 355 00:16:50,550 --> 00:16:51,799 So, you're gonna blow up my spot? 356 00:16:51,800 --> 00:16:53,920 You blew up your spot. 357 00:16:53,940 --> 00:16:55,920 Man, you got Claire out here looking stupid, 358 00:16:55,940 --> 00:16:58,080 and we both know she doesn't deserve that. 359 00:16:58,090 --> 00:17:01,000 - You need to fix this. - Fix what? 360 00:17:01,010 --> 00:17:03,875 Okay, now you testing my patience. 361 00:17:05,042 --> 00:17:07,049 - Okay. Look, Claire. If you... - These are not mine. They're not mine. 362 00:17:07,050 --> 00:17:08,999 - They're not mine, Tina. - Claire, if you calm down... 363 00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:10,040 What's going on here? 364 00:17:10,050 --> 00:17:13,550 Oh, what's going on? I found some hoochie's flip-flops 365 00:17:13,560 --> 00:17:14,910 under the front seat. 366 00:17:16,260 --> 00:17:17,959 You cheating on me! 367 00:17:17,960 --> 00:17:19,430 What? 368 00:17:22,420 --> 00:17:27,000 So you have been taking other women to get pedicures? 369 00:17:27,010 --> 00:17:28,969 Look, Claire, I was just coming out here to tell you. 370 00:17:28,970 --> 00:17:31,334 I'm sorry. I know House of Toes is our place. 371 00:17:33,260 --> 00:17:34,959 Oh! 372 00:17:34,960 --> 00:17:36,580 Do something, Calvin. 373 00:17:36,590 --> 00:17:38,959 What do want me to do? The lady's holding a tire iron. 374 00:17:38,960 --> 00:17:40,000 Baby, baby, baby! 375 00:17:40,010 --> 00:17:42,120 Babe, please. 376 00:17:42,130 --> 00:17:45,130 - We can fix this. - Oh, hell no. 377 00:17:45,140 --> 00:17:49,750 And you will never see these feet again, cheater. 378 00:17:49,760 --> 00:17:52,584 Don't do that. No... Baby! 379 00:17:52,590 --> 00:17:53,834 Oh! 380 00:18:00,540 --> 00:18:02,190 Uh... 381 00:18:02,200 --> 00:18:04,292 That divorce is gonna cost you, 382 00:18:04,300 --> 00:18:06,084 but not as much as this paint job. 383 00:18:12,230 --> 00:18:14,360 Luckily, I just needed to flip the breaker. 384 00:18:14,380 --> 00:18:16,780 Yeah, unfortunately, this is gonna need a lot more help. 385 00:18:19,120 --> 00:18:21,560 I'm never gonna recover from this. 386 00:18:21,570 --> 00:18:24,417 Time to start looking into high-powered divorce attorneys. 387 00:18:24,420 --> 00:18:26,084 Ooh. 388 00:18:27,260 --> 00:18:28,584 H-Hey, Gemma. 389 00:18:28,590 --> 00:18:30,500 Oh! Gemma. Gemma. 390 00:18:30,510 --> 00:18:31,834 Uh, the gem who's a ma. 391 00:18:32,800 --> 00:18:34,260 The ma who is a gem. 392 00:18:34,270 --> 00:18:35,542 Come here, my precious stone. 393 00:18:35,550 --> 00:18:37,042 Oh, okay. 394 00:18:37,050 --> 00:18:39,834 Uh, for some reason, my tablet said my phone is here. 395 00:18:39,840 --> 00:18:40,875 Oh... 396 00:18:40,880 --> 00:18:43,084 And why does it look like your mom's banana bread? 397 00:18:49,800 --> 00:18:51,060 So, I'm gonna go. 398 00:18:51,070 --> 00:18:53,490 Uh, y-you two enjoy our lovely home. 399 00:18:53,500 --> 00:18:54,860 And remember, checkout's at 11:00. 400 00:18:58,510 --> 00:19:00,042 Uh... Gemma. 401 00:19:00,050 --> 00:19:03,709 Y-You are gonna laugh when you hear this story. 402 00:19:04,870 --> 00:19:06,209 Dave, what's going on? 403 00:19:06,210 --> 00:19:08,292 Okay, look, to be honest, 404 00:19:08,300 --> 00:19:12,220 I saw a part of a text from Jameson, 405 00:19:12,240 --> 00:19:14,359 and I know it was wrong, but it made me a little jealous, 406 00:19:14,360 --> 00:19:15,625 so I tried to read the rest. 407 00:19:15,630 --> 00:19:17,417 And? 408 00:19:17,420 --> 00:19:23,000 Well, and he asked you to bring "that peach emoji," 409 00:19:23,020 --> 00:19:25,620 which any person hip to the ever-evolving parlance 410 00:19:25,640 --> 00:19:30,292 of young folks knows means... "that ass." 411 00:19:33,040 --> 00:19:35,580 Dave, he sends me peach emojis 412 00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:38,340 when he's talking about my homemade peach cobbler. 413 00:19:38,350 --> 00:19:39,640 But he's not supposed to eat it 414 00:19:39,660 --> 00:19:42,375 because him and his wife Susan are on a diet. 415 00:19:46,020 --> 00:19:49,125 Well, someone should tell Jameson what a peach emoji means. 416 00:19:51,670 --> 00:19:53,690 Look, I'm sorry. 417 00:19:53,700 --> 00:19:56,500 All of this is because Calvin's friend did something 418 00:19:56,510 --> 00:19:58,292 that just sent me into a spiral. 419 00:19:59,040 --> 00:20:01,041 Well, I don't know what that's about, 420 00:20:01,042 --> 00:20:03,000 but you know you can talk to me about anything. 421 00:20:03,010 --> 00:20:04,740 Yeah, I-I know that, 422 00:20:04,750 --> 00:20:07,667 and I should never have invaded your privacy. 423 00:20:07,670 --> 00:20:10,370 It's just, you were laughing so much with that guy. 424 00:20:10,380 --> 00:20:13,042 You even snorted one time. You never snort with me. 425 00:20:14,820 --> 00:20:17,510 There's nothing sexy about snorting. 426 00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:19,834 And I want to be sexy in front of you. 427 00:20:20,540 --> 00:20:23,329 You know you make me laugh harder than anybody. 428 00:20:23,330 --> 00:20:24,980 - You think I could do stand-up? - Nope. 429 00:20:27,150 --> 00:20:29,792 But that's only because I want you all to myself. 430 00:20:31,630 --> 00:20:34,710 And don't worry about Jameson. I could never do 431 00:20:34,720 --> 00:20:38,650 the whole "Chris Hemsworth-looking soccer coach" type. Bleh. 432 00:20:39,680 --> 00:20:41,910 "Bleh" is right. 433 00:20:41,920 --> 00:20:44,280 Chris-Chris Hemsworth? 434 00:20:44,300 --> 00:20:46,510 As in, uh, Thor, God of the Thunder? 435 00:20:47,810 --> 00:20:52,810 - Synced & corrected by MementMori - -- www.MY-SUBS.com -- 29893