Original subtitles

All clear in sector three.

Moving into drop zone.

Copy that, Rapidsfoot.

All clear here.

Dog men, rabbit's foot. Report any location.

Over. I don't know.

Over.

Stevie, you're supposed to keep track of them.

Shh. Listen.

All right.

On three, check right.

One, two, three.

This one's your right. Your left, your right. You got it? Got it. Alex, will

teach me how to skate? I will, I promise.

You know, you're using way too much, miss.

Uh, do you want some?

Ew! Do you want some? Ew!

Hey, don't forget, next weekend, Larry's rocking Coin World. And, uh, on Sunday,

there's that coin expo. All right, later.

See ya.

Bye. See ya, slime boy.

All right, Stevie.

Put this on, guy.

Drop that up, okay?

Hey, guys. Hey. Hey, guys.

That's a lot of hair, Joe, guys.

So, there's a pet adoption at the park.

And we talked about getting a pet.

Yes! Dog. Rabbit. Dog. Rabbit. Dog.

Guys, I found an awesome dog.

No! This is way cooler.

What?

That's the grossest thing I've ever seen.

Hey, hey!

Lansing found someone he can beat off the line.

What is that thing? Besides ugly.

It's a turkey, you big stupid...

My brother's a better football player than you'll ever be.

Gary! Oh, yeah?

Then how come he spends most of his time on his butt? Yeah, you want to mess

with us?

Stevie, why don't you go home, okay?

That was, like, so brave.

You get a reward.

Hungry?

That wasn't the first time Stevie messed me up.

Let me show you.

It all started from the very beginning.

Oh, look at that.

He's smiling at you.

Here you see one of the greatest moments of my entire life.

The first basket I ever made.

Well, you would have seen it if Dad hadn't missed the shot.

I guess the first steps you take in your entire life, that's pretty cool, too.

It's just that Stevie always takes center stage.

And I can't help feeling... He's wrecking my life.

That thing goes outside tomorrow, right?

using in your hair? It smells kind of cheesy.

Oh, thanks, Mom. Yeah.

What's wrong with this picture?

We're in here eating guacamole and Stevie isn't here to hog it.

How long do these things tend to live, anyway?

I knew it. Stevie, what did I tell you you never, ever touch?

Your skates, your bike, and your coin collection.

And is there any reason why you should not get severe and excruciating

punishment right now?

Better stop.

I'm going to yell.

No, no yelling, Stevie. Just sit down, okay? Sit down.

I'm only going to say this once, all right?

My room is my room, and my stuff is my stuff. And you need to keep your hands

totally off of it unless I say.

Okay? I have a life.

And when you grow up, you can get one. But until then, you were just a little

kid. All right? And you don't get to do everything I get to do.

You got it?

Ow! Dad!

Alex is hurting me! Stevie!

Alex! Back off your brother. Now!

Dad, I didn't do anything.

That's it. You were barred from this room for two weeks.

Banned.

Go!

Get out!

Get out of here!

Come on.

I might be a few minutes late for your game today.

Great. You'll miss my best bench warming. First quarter, I'm in the zone.

Go, Raider!

If he yells my name today, he's dead meat.

Hey, you got a brother on your side. Is that so bad?

It is when he yells, go, Alex, go.

Wish we could send him to football camp.

Make it affordable.

So, are you going to yell my name today?

No.

Help the answer.

Here.

You know, you should use the laces like this when you throw it, okay?

All right, throw it back.

Go ahead.

Throw it back.

What's the matter?

Why are you standing behind the hamper?

My skates. I didn't touch them. You're wearing them.

He's hurting me.

You got jelly on my skates.

Alex,

lay off your brother. Mom, he got jelly on my skates.

Oh, and listen. Next weekend, you have to babysit.

No, Mom. I'm going to the mall with James.

Well, then take Stevie with you. No argument.

Met a new dog.

Google gobble.

Not much on conversation.

Now, check this out.

You got jelly on your plates.

No, no. The demon child from the underworld got jelly on my plates.

Stevie's ten years old, and he rules the house.

Not too good. Not too good? James, it's horrible, okay?

All he has to do is make a sad face, and bammo, it's an instant crisis.

Alex, sure, that was Stevie. Alex, don't do that, because Stevie will want to

try it, too.

You know how lucky you are to be an only child.

Alex, what about that time when you ran out of class? Because you heard some kid

fell in the fountain, and you thought it was Stevie.

So?

So, you basically care about him a lot.

James, I'm trying to trash my brother here, okay?

Right.

Isn't anybody gonna fix this gate?

You're Alex, right? Yeah.

That is so sad.

Bench warmer.

Go, Bench! Go, Bench! Go, Bench! Go, Bench!

Go, Bench! Go, Bench!

Go, Bench! Go, Bench!

Go, Bench! Go, Bench! Go, Bench! Go, Bench!

Go, Bench!

Go, Bench!

great idea for this partner project.

Inventors. You do Edison, and I'll do Tesla.

You know, the part about Tesla being the reincarnation of that guy from Atlantis

who invented those power beams?

Here, Fiona.

About last weekend, I hope I didn't hurt you.

Oh, right, like you could.

You know, Sometimes you really like somebody and they don't even know you're

alive.

I can relate.

But you gotta pick up the pieces of your shattered life and move on.

Lunch would be a start, don't you think?

Hey man, I thought this was the no whining section.

Alex, will you get over yourself? Your life is not pathetic, okay? That is

pathetic.

Gary's life is perfect, okay? He's all city in every sport, his girlfriend

Fiona's a major goddess, and he doesn't have a little brother.

Gary's a maroon, man.

No, James, that's not fair to the other maroons.

Okay, enough misery.

Do you want to go skating on Saturday?

I nailed that rail on the park bench in the square. I can't wait to show you.

Sorry, I'm going to Coin World.

Well, how about after that?

to clean out the turkey pen.

Right. Okay.

See, grinding in the park or scraping up turkey poop.

Interesting choice.

You know, I give up.

Bye, James.

See ya.

What's up? You love skating with Abby.

I know, but now she wants me to go skating with her.

So what's the problem?

No problem. I just want to be cool.

Like Gary.

Five bucks worth of quarters?

Yep. If I have to bring Stevie to the mall, at least I know how to neutralize

him.

French fries.

Probably dropped by one of these little monsters.

How can your kids eat these things? If they don't clog up your arteries,

find another way to take you out.

You okay, kid? I could have squashed you.

Yeah, I'm good. Good.

Well, uh, what's the standard reward for a good deed these days?

You got to be on TV.

All right. Hey, Larry.

Hey, guys.

I didn't see you at my brother's TV.

Yeah, we just met.

He saved me from a trip to the hospital. You're lucky, Alex. This is one

terrific little kid.

So, help me with this stuff, and I'll show you guys my new shipment of Romans.

All right. Yeah.

Okay.

Okay, you see this bench?

This is the bench where you're going to sit and eat your fries.

Okay? Don't even think about moving. I'm going to go in there. I'll be out in a

couple of minutes, and we'll go to the arcade, all right?

Take this. Put those in your pocket.

Want a frank fry?

Probably not.

Right.

So, kid, I can't get you on TV, but, uh... How about this?

What is it?

Well, it's a trippy little coin.

And it's good for one wish.

Yes? Well, that's what I heard.

Anyway, be very careful with it.

Do something...

Oh, I don't know.

Do something big with it.

Hey, hey, hey.

All right, I'm getting too old for this.

Do something big with it.

Hey, check out Zeus.

Looks like Principal Thorpe in a dress.

Wrap it up, guys. I gotta close.

All right.

Wait.

Close what? What time is it, Larry?

Just about six.

And I've got to get off my feet.

Six?

Stevie.

James, I gotta go.

Excuse me. Can you call my mom?

Stevie!

You're grounded for a month.

What? No more coin world.

You come right home after school.

And we're taking away your skates.

You're cutting off light, my friend.

This was a major setback in the responsibility department.

Well, Stevie didn't have to rat me out.

Look,

I told him to wait on the bench, okay? Oh, so this is all Stevie's fault. He's

ten years old, Alex.

He was alone and scared.

I wasn't scared.

He knows he shouldn't have run off, and he's being punished, too.

Oh, no TV for a day? Yeah, big deal, Dad. We're running late.

Bedtime, Stevie.

Alex 2.

What? It's 8 .30. 8 .25 by my watch. And tomorrow morning, you start garage

cleanup.

Why don't you just ruin my entire life?

Dear Alex.

Sorry, here's a coin the guy in the mall gave me. You can make one wish.

Stevie.

One wish.

Right?

Right now I wish I didn't have a little brother.

Great, now I have an alarm clock.

Pardon my punishment.

Double eagles.

Okay.

Okay, I get it.

Welcome to the morning show. We've got a great show for you today.

It is here to teach us how to make the perfect waffle, which I'm very excited

about because I haven't never been able to make a good waffle.

So later in the show, we're going to be talking about a film that premieres.

So temperature is the key to making... Wall Street Journal.

Okay.

Okay, I know what's going on. You guys are really funny. Good one.

You know, like when you put cereal in my sleeping bag?

But this is better. Stevie's idea, right? Who's Stevie?

What are you talking about?

All right, let's start with the giant dog I have in my room.

Iggy, how's he doing this morning?

The house is blue.

Since last month, you just noticed?

Gotta run.

See the game.

Don't rush that pass.

Take your time. Remember, you've got options.

Some of those other guys can score, too, you know. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

You guys, hold on a second. Mom, what's going on? We're going to work. You're

going to school. No, no, no. Wait a minute.

What is going on?

I was just going to ask you that.

Everything's different.

We have a dog. I have this incredibly cool coin collection.

My room's different.

The house... I'm different? What is with this haircut?

Yeah, I don't like it either. It was your idea.

So is Stevie different?

Who is the Stevie?

Dad, please don't do this right now, okay?

Do what?

Alex, are you okay?

No, he doesn't have a fever.

No, no, but Dad, I do have a little brother, okay? Where is he?

Where's Stevie?

Alex, are you lonely?

What?

Do you wish you had a brother?

What do you mean, do I wish a... Oh, man.

Oh, man, the coin.

Honey! Earth to Alex.

Bum it.

Very soon, in just a minute, in fact, we are going to meet the star of a new hit

TV show. It's called Where's Stevie? His name is Terrence Russell McCormick.

Don't go away.

Right here.

It should be right here.

Don't wait.

Don't wait, because I made a wish, and it worked.

There's no Stevie.

Are you all right? How are you?

We're talking with Terrence Russell McCormick, the star of the... Stevie?

Stevie.

So, what's the most fun about working on Where's Stevie?

Um, probably hanging out with Peter Michael Morris. He's really the brother

I never had.

Alex, why are you hanging on to the television?

It's Stevie.

Yeah, Terrence Russell McCormick. He's so cute. No, it's not Terrence somebody.

It's Stevie.

Okay, look, honey, your father and I have to go. Are you okay?

Stevie, he's on the television.

Every week? I didn't think you liked that show.

What show?

Where's Stevie?

He's on the television. Alex, I don't understand.

It's Stevie.

Right, from the TV show. What TV show? Where's Stevie?

He's on the television.

Honey, what's the joke? I'm a little dense this morning.

Me too.

You guys really don't know him?

Personally, I wish I was his accountant.

Yeah, that's a lucky little kid.

Wait a second.

That's a lucky kid.

That's a way lucky kid.

Kid's life is awesome.

Gotta run.

See you at the game, Bling.

Bling. Oh, I put gas in the biker.

Oh, thanks.

Hey, Bling, if you hurry, I'll give you a ride. I'll be outside in the car.

Hey, champ.

I made you a star.

You're, like, rich and famous, and... And I'm... I'm

an only child.

This is unbelievable. I don't have a little brother ruining my life. This

We have a viper?

You're going to meet me by the fountain?

Gary,

I didn't talk to her, okay? I was just standing here. So?

Are we, like, breaking up? Because that would be so not me being dumped by my

boyfriend. Boyfriend.

Me.

I got you.

You scared me.

We going to kick some wildcat butts today, Bling? Yeah.

Sorry they got on the bus.

All right.

Bling? Like in Bling Bling?

Dude, party's still on your place?

Party. Hello.

After the game.

At my place.

Yeah. I mean, yeah.

Eat good before the game.

I'll meet up with you later, okay?

Okay, okay.

Fiona's your girlfriend.

And the jock's like you.

How could the disappearance of one little kid change everything in your

Hey, drama club.

What are you doing?

Um, sitting down.

Here. That is not your seat. Hello.

I know.

It's just, um, saying hi to Abby.

Why?

Mr. Lansing, would you kindly take your assigned seat so we can begin?

Yeah.

Right.

I didn't see it either. I knew that.

Okay, can I speak to you, please?

Be quiet.

That's sweet.

King Bling Jopling gets a B+. What? Oh, never mind.

No, part of going to school is figuring out that life isn't fair.

Great game last Friday, by the way.

Thanks.

Okay, class.

Let's review what you thought you knew about the prepositional phrase.

He rung the offense through Alex.

What?

What a... What a good idea.

I'm so glad you think so.

Okay, come on, let's do it.

One,

two, three, Raiders!

Gary,

hey, um... You know what position you play, right?

Yeah.

Okay. So, you know what position I play, right?

Yeah.

Gary, what position do I play?

Quarterback.

Quarterback.

This will be good.

Um, flick or fly on two, yeah? Yeah.

All right.

One, two, three, four.

Hey, Gary.

Ball's coming to you, Gary.

All right.

Do you remember that big kid in camp?

Yeah. Football camp, five years ago.

He had your number, but you learned how to handle him. Remember?

I went to camp.

And every year since, you've figured out even more ways to beat him.

Right, because we can afford that.

Huh? Because I'm an only child.

Yeah. You're the man.

All in and only.

Hey, Lansing!

You back from whatever other universe you were in? Come on!

Rollerblading? Hello?

First off, brief rollerblade, okay? And second off, we're taking the photos for

our matching t -shirts.

Matching t -shirts?

Don't blink, you won't believe it, man.

and he's all over the place.

James.

Hey, I've been looking all over for you.

All right, man, what's your problem?

What, you're not done with me yet?

No, I came by to apologize.

Don't even bother, super jock.

I got to show you this collection you're not going to believe. Man, a whole

album of pre -1700s.

Pre -what?

Coins. And you want to show me this because... Alex, Sarah said you were

to Abby Richardson.

At the party?

Uh, I said hi.

And now I find you talking to... James Cooper.

Thank you.

What is going on, Alex?

What? How do you think this makes me look?

How? Give me an L, give me an O, give me an S -S -E -R -S.

What's it spelled?

Losers?

Thank you.

Not just losers.

Massive, al grande, mega losers.

No offense.

You are my boyfriend.

I have an image to uphold.

Are you, like, going weird or anything? Because it would be so not me having a

weird boyfriend.

You have to tell me right now.

Mind if I join you?

You. What is it with that? Yeah.

Stop, Paul. Is this some kind of jock joke?

What?

No.

No, Abs.

Just let me explain. First of all, if you call me Abs one more time, you will

regret it. And second, go away.

Look, I know I'm different, but Abs, if you'd just give me a chance.

Got milk?

What did you say?

Come on.

I'm hip.

Right? I can talk the line.

Right.

You, uh, rediscovering the old collection, huh?

What do you mean?

You haven't touched those coins since forever.

Really, I forgot how awesome it is.

Not that many ancients know diadrax or hemidrax or anything, but it's still

awesome.

Awesome investment, too.

So, you like those old guys, huh? Yeah, yeah.

Alex, you've seemed kind of distracted lately.

Is there anything wrong?

No, no.

I'm kind of tired, though. I should get some sleep.

Okay.

Well, see you in the morning.

Okay.

You make me feel funny.

When you come around, yeah, that's what I found out, honey.

What am I doing without you? You make me feel happy.

When I leave you behind, I change my mind now, honey.

What am I doing without you?

You can change your life and someone else's by adopting a brother for life.

You're my big brother, and I've got to look out for you.

If a young boy's wish comes true, his life will never be the same.

You got that right, Terrence Russell McStevey.

Okay. Thank you, sir. Hope you win.

I could use a little luck.

Larry.

Hey. Yeah. Do I know you? Yeah. Yeah, it's me.

Alex Lansing.

I go to Coin World a lot.

Well, I guess I don't anymore.

Anyways, what happened?

Oh, this. I bit the dust outside my shop and broke a couple things.

Right. No Stevie.

Who?

Nothing. I'm sorry.

Yeah, well, I wanted to retire and get off my feet. I guess I got that wish.

Anyway, my man, you have a nice day, and watch out for French fries.

All right.

Oh, excuse me, sir. You want to buy a raffle ticket? You can help buy food for

the homeless. You can win a freezer.

I'll take three.

I love this cup.

So, Abs... Abby, I'm sorry.

Abby.

Um, so you skate?

Yeah.

So, do you maybe want to go skating sometime? I know a great place in the

Did you lose a bet or something?

What kind of guy do you think I am?

You really want to know?

Yeah. I think you're the kind of major pop star jock who has to have the major

pop star cheerleader girlfriend, even though she's meaner than a snake. And

think that the whole solar system revolves around you.

And... And you're not even embarrassed that teachers give you better grades

because you can throw a long bomb, even though you don't know how to spell it.

Does that answer your question?

Yeah, that pretty much covers it, I guess.

So why are you even talking to me?

I don't know.

East Fremont is so old.

anything this morning.

No, it's Saturday.

It's Saturday, Dad, and aren't you going to make funny pancakes?

Wow, I forgot all about those.

Gee, Alex, I've made funny pancakes since you were about five.

There's pop -up waffles in the freezer. You'll love those.

Pop -up waffles?

You guys are going out this early?

Your mom's dragging me into that den of lawyers she works with.

You know, the partner's big 10th anniversary thing for the firm.

I still can't believe it's the same day as your deal.

What? Well, it's a great excuse to sneak away early.

We'll meet you at school at 8 o 'clock.

For what?

The athletic award.

The Harbaugh High Civic Pride Awards.

The mayor athletic award, Alex Lansing?

What are you guys talking about?

Oh, no. Oh, no. He forgot.

That's my fault. Oh, I'm sorry, Alex. It's just been so nuts at work.

Your suit is ready, and Gary's folks are picking up at 7 .30.

Oh, and honey, there's a box of old toys and stuff for the charity drive in the

attic. It says giveaway.

Bring it down for me, will you?

Later, superstar.

Okay, whatever kind of guy I am now, I do not love Papa Poirot.

What? Stevie loved these hand -me -downs.

Thank you, Melody.

Last and certainly not least, our final recipient has demons.

Has demonstrated his commitment to excellence in athletics.

And he's done it with the highest degree of sportsmanship.

I'm speaking, of course, of... Go, Jude!

Right. Go, dude.

Thank you.

Alex Lansing.

I don't really deserve this because, well, I'm not really the

Alex Lansing that you see up here.

The real Alex Lansing lives in a whole different dimension or something.

He's a major loser.

He can't play football.

He's got a little brother named Stevie who he blamed for things that weren't

really his fault at all and made him disappear.

Poof. Wouldn't it be weird if things like that could really happen?

Of course they can't.

But what if they did?

I mean, winning awards is great and all, but there's other stuff.

So, try to appreciate what you got.

Someday it might not be there, and you're really, really going to miss him.

It. It.

That's all.

Thanks.

Okay, it was not your typical thank you speech, but I think it was very

original. The barfers thought it was wonderful.

Yay for me.

I know what'll make you feel better.

A pop -up waffle.

No, Mom, I don't want a pop -up waffle, okay? I just want my life back.

There's got to be a way.

He's here, doing a TV show.

Alex, we need to talk.

This Stevie deal... There's no Stevie.

No, can't trust McCormick.

Actor, see?

I don't think so.

Well, let's just wait for the gunner. Yeah, let's go.

James. Oh, man.

Super Jock strikes again.

What are you doing here, anyway?

I, um... I just came by to see Terrence Russell McCormick. My mom's a big fan,

and I thought it'd be cool if I got his autograph.

What are you doing here?

Taking him some chicken.

What does it look like?

Who? Uh, Terrence Russell McThing or whatever the kid.

I'll take it.

What? No way.

Real good.

I'm going to get fired.

James, I seriously have to deliver that chicken, okay? It's personal.

I'm going to get the money. This is my job.

What, I don't get a tip?

It's all yours, man.

I'll need the bike and uniform back by five.

Oh, and don't forget to smile when you deliver the chicken.

Company protocol.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Can I help you?

Yeah, I have a chicken delivery for Terrence Russell McCormick.

Jamie, a kid or a chicken?

Roger, Roger.

Roger. Okay, that way.

So the kid just asked, you got any kids?

And I say, yeah, yeah, I have. He says, what show are they on?

Is that sad or what?

With all my brothers.

It was just fine until he altered my entire reality.

I didn't know it was going to work. You've got to believe me. I'm sorry.

Did you forget the special sauce again?

No, never mind. It's all there.

This chicken's dirty.

You don't even know me?

Oh, my gosh.

You're... You're the chicken guy.

What are you waiting for?

Oh, okay.

Here, what's your name?

It's me, Alex.

Me, Alex.

You can go now.

Wait!

What sounds better?

It's all my brother's fault, or it's all my brother's fault?

All right.

Sit down a minute.

Broccoli? No, thanks.

I don't like them either. They won't let me have cookies.

Pick a card. Don't show it to me.

Put it back. Anywhere. Put it back.

Can I ask you a question?

Is this your card?

No.

Do you like your life?

No.

It never works. I can't do anything.

Do you like your family?

Of course.

I have a wonderful mother who I just saw last week and a wonderful father

someplace in Arizona.

I'll call you back.

Oh, and a wonderful baby wrangler named Zoe who hasn't had enough energy today

and who hasn't been smiley enough.

Sparkle, sparkle, sparkle.

Smile, smile, smile.

Who are you?

I'm his... I'm the chicken guy.

Huh.

Okay, sweetie boy, they're almost ready for you. Oh, and I just read a new

script for you. This time you play a real, regular, ordinary kid.

Regular kid.

I don't know how to do that.

I could... I'll show you. You know, you could come by my house.

I could?

Yeah, yeah.

1721 Mysterio Drive. Stop by any time.

No, I gotta go back to L .A. tomorrow.

You know, you had a lot more fun when you were my brother.

When did I play your brother?

In real life.

I was teaching you how to throw a spiral.

You were basically driving me crazy. I had to kick you out of my room a lot.

But we played games, you know, like slime wars, seafood.

It's for you to open up your mouth and show everybody what you ate.

Wait! Security!

There's a lunatic in here who thinks I'm his brother!

I wasn't going to hurt him, okay? We were just talking.

I know.

So I guess his life isn't as happy as I thought.

Happy?

Poor kid.

I wouldn't wish his life on a dog.

downtown walking fast faces passing I'm homebound

staring blankly ahead

making my way making my way through the crowd

and I need

you and I miss you and now I wonder

if I I could fall into the sky.

Do you think time would pass me by?

Nothing. I'm done for the day. I'm going back to the hotel.

How come you're talking to me? Didn't you just kick me out of your dressing

room? Forget about it. Where are you going?

No place.

That sounds way better.

Hey, Ron, I'm going to walk with my friend for a while. I'll call you later

pick me up.

I'm supposed to take you to the hotel.

No, I want to hang out with my friend.

I don't know, Terrence.

You want me to start screaming?

No. Okay, okay.

How about I walk and you follow?

All right.

Stay where I can see you.

Okay.

You never let me do anything.

Hey,

do you know the difference between your left and your right? This is camera

left. This is camera right. Okay, when I give you the signal, I want you to turn

to your left and run, okay?

Okay, what's the signal?

Um... Not to say chocolate, okay?

Okay.

Chocolate.

No.

Okay,

so how much trouble are you in?

Ron will keep looking by himself for about an hour. Then he'll call for help.

We're having a real life adventure, right? You and me.

Right. Yeah.

Hey, look!

It's Terrence Russell McCormick!

Hey, hey, hey, hey! Wait a minute.

I always wanted to ride one of these things.

No one ever let me.

Can I have a corner?

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, look there.

You dropped that.

Thanks.

Wait a minute. He didn't give him the coin.

What? If he didn't give Stephen the coin at the mall, then he still has it,

right? What are you talking about?

Come on. We have to get to the mall before it closes. Wait. Get me out of

thing.

Oh,

no.

No. Oh, it can't be.

What? Coin world. It's out of business.

Oh, man. Now how am I going to find them?

Tickets.

Raffle tickets.

Abby sold them a raffle ticket. That's it. Come on. Let's go.

Now where are we going?

Back to our old lives.

I hope.

Now what?

Oh, are you trying to impress me just because you know a movie star?

I'm not a movie star. I'm a regular, ordinary kid.

Do you have a minute?

For what?

Not speech I gave at the awards thing.

It's true.

You're telling me you and I were best friends, you wished on a magic coin, he

was your little brother, and we're all in an alternate reality?

Yes, yes.

No. No way.

Why not?

Because you and I could have never been best friends.

Okay, okay, tell me how I know this. When you were five, you cried for a week

because your sister told you Abby was short for abnormal.

You're afraid of parrots, clowns, and falling space junk.

Did you grab Megan?

No, you told me those things, Abs. Look, you're the only one that can help me.

Okay, you've got Larry's address on a raffle ticket stub. He can give me the

coin, and I can get the real Stevie back.

So, you're telling me that in the life we're in right now, I just got born into

the wrong family.

Exactly. Wow, real life is way weirder than show business.

Okay, let me understand this. You are the most sickeningly popular guy at

High School, and you want to get your non -existent, semi -non -existent

back and change all that?

Yes.

Okay. Let's get busy.

You know, people slip into the wrong dimensions all the time. Like they found

this guy somewhere in, like, Georgia, and he had this old Civil War uniform

and he didn't know anything about cars or telephones. I got it.

No. Lucky Sorensen.

Or anything. So they put him in a hospital, and they gave him coloring

One time I had an agent who spontaneously combusted.

He did.

What's my cat's name?

Mr. Trouillard, but you call him Twigs.

You know, people who have supernatural experiences are often treated like

outcasts. In some countries... What's my favorite snack?

Mustard and sugar sandwiches.

Ew. Right.

In some countries, people's eyeballs are gouged out and eaten because, you know,

they've seen too much.

Cool. Yeah.

And then everybody worships them because they're like magic blind people.

I found it! I found it! I think Larry something with a P.

Larry Pendragon.

Maybe he's a wizard.

Let's go.

Hey, hold it. We can't go running around with a movie star. Good point.

Oh, no. You can't leave me.

Don't even think about it.

You want me to start screaming?

There will be no screaming, okay? You do whatever we say, got it?

Okay. All right, we need to disguise.

You know, I bet your parents are out looking for you right now, or the police

even. What difference does it make if I can find Larry and get the coin back?

None of this will have ever happened.

Good point.

2354, here it is.

How am I doing?

I'm doing okay, right? I'm not screaming, I'm helping.

Right? Yeah.

Yeah.

6A.

Uh -oh. This must be the wrong place.

It's the right number.

Who's there?

Oh, excuse us. We're looking for Larry Pendragon. He moved.

The stairs were too much.

Great.

Um, do you know where he moved?

Beeler Street.

The Sunnyville Retirement Manor. Okay.

You know, you didn't have to come with me.

I wanted to.

So, was Fiona your girlfriend?

You know, in your other life?

Nah, no way.

Closest thing I had to a girlfriend was you.

I... You weren't my girlfriend. We were just friends.

Just really good friends.

Interesting.

So, are you, like, cuter now?

I don't think so.

Smarter? No.

Am I different?

No.

But you never talked to me till the other day.

I guess, yeah.

So in this parallel universe, you're like more of a jerk.

Definitely.

Hey, guys, look, I found a dime.

This is way cooler than a limo.

Don't worry. They put you in jail. You can use my lawyer.

Great.

There's nobody around.

How are we supposed to find them?

Maybe it's really a secret laboratory run by a mad scientist.

Okay, well, you can wait outside if you want.

No way. The person who waits outside always gets eaten first.

Larry, Larry, it's Larry.

Excuse us.

Excuse us.

We're here to see Larry Pendragon.

Yeah, that's me.

Well, I guess you all have to excuse me.

Thanks, guys.

I never could stand the recording myself, but hey, it's music.

So what? I won the raffle?

Uh, no, sorry. But the drawing's not till next week, so maybe you did.

Well, hope springs eternal, right?

Look, you got this coin I have to find.

Oh, man, I'm sorry. I closed down my coin business. I couldn't handle it

anymore. This is really critical, Larry. Yeah, there is a semi -nonexistent

human life at stake here.

Which is me in another dimension.

Okay, cool.

Come this way.

All right.

Are these all the coins you have left?

That's it.

So you said it had an owl on it.

Yeah, yeah.

It was probably a Greek tetradroc. More than one of those had an owl. Well, this

one was good for one wish.

I heard about something like that once.

Or maybe I dreamed it.

Anyway, there's nothing here, and I don't think you're going to find an owl

that group.

An owl, an owl.

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

There may have been an owl in a bag that I sold just before I closed shop. Okay,

well, do you know who you sold it to?

Probably a dealer. But I don't have any record of it, I'm sorry.

All right.

Come on, Alex.

We'd better go.

Yeah.

Sure wish I could help you guys.

Kind of miss you kids.

Well, I guess it's back to the old recital.

All right.

Thanks anyways, Larry. Appreciate it.

Thank you.

Nice to meet you, Larry.

See you, Abs.

Look, I know it probably doesn't help, but I promise not to pour any more dairy

products on your head.

And it was nice meeting you, Terrence.

Nice meeting you, too.

Sorry I didn't have an autographed picture for you.

That's okay.

I know what you look like.

Tomorrow's our last day here. Think you could come to the set?

I don't know, maybe.

I'll leave a pass for you.

Okay.

Look. Yeah?

Is this what it was like before?

When I was your little brother?

If I really was?

What do you mean?

Well, did we have really cool adventures like tonight?

Sometimes. Did I really get jelly on your skates?

Yeah.

How many jelly was it?

I don't know, you know, I don't really want to talk about it.

Okay.

Don't shoot! I surrender!

Well,

we don't want any publicity either. No, absolutely not.

Oh. Well, that's great, Ben.

We're all on the same page.

Look, um, if you're ever in L .A., you give me a call.

Okay.

Excuse me.

Hello?

Yes.

It's your mother.

Hi, Penelope.

I just had the best night of my entire life.

You are?

Oh.

When?

Congratulations.

So, do I have to call him dad?

I gotta go. Bye.

Bye, Alex.

See you, kid.

The only person to recognize Van Gogh's brilliance during his lifetime and

actually buy one of his paintings was his own brother.

In the harsh winter, perhaps only one of the siblings will survive.

Hey, Bling.

Dad, I'm not Bling. I'm just Alex.

Alex.

You want to go for brunch at the hilltop with Judge Harley and Mom and me?

I'm hungry.

Okay.

I was going to save this for your birthday, but you look like you could

lift right about now.

I got these at a closeout sale.

They're all ancients.

Sure.

Well, see ya.

Don't mess with me.

This is it. This is it.

Alex? Yes.

Honey, are you all right?

Alex?

I'm fine. I'll be right out. Just give me a minute.

Son, let me in.

Alex? I think you've got to say this exactly right. Alex, now.

Come on.

I'm getting him out.

I wish that Stevie... Come on!

No. Honey, I'm going to call a fire department. Everything will be all

Don't blow it.

Don't blow it.

I wish...

I wish I never made the first wish.

Do we have a viper?

Uh, I don't think so.

Stevie!

Stevie!

Stevie!

I'm sorry I crashed your bike.

Crashed my bike, you little... What is this?

This is going to make us cave on the ground, these things. You hear that,

Stevie? I'm grounded.

Look, Mom, Dad, it's Stevie. He's back.

He's back.

Alex, I didn't go anywhere.

That's right.

You didn't go anywhere.

Abby, James, my best friend, James.

Alex, are you okay?

I am so okay with it.

Abby?

Abs?

Do you want to go skating?

Just the two of us?

Really?

I mean, yeah.

Yeah, I do.

You want to try some of my famous pancakes, Steven?

We're having funny pancakes.

We're having funny pancakes. We're having funny pancakes.

I can't always win I can't do anything I do more

than dream I think You make everything Everything