Original subtitles

Welcome to the Daily Show. I'm George

Welcome to the Daily Show. I'm George

Welcome to the Daily Show. I'm George Cleer. We got so much to talk about

Cleer. We got so much to talk about

Cleer. We got so much to talk about tonight. Trump wants to grab Cuba by the

tonight. Trump wants to grab Cuba by the

tonight. Trump wants to grab Cuba by the cohibas.

cohibas.

cohibas. Free speech updates its terms and

Free speech updates its terms and

Free speech updates its terms and conditions. And MAGA gets into a big

conditions. And MAGA gets into a big

conditions. And MAGA gets into a big fight over small penises. So, let's get

fight over small penises. So, let's get

fight over small penises. So, let's get into our ongoing coverage of the war in

into our ongoing coverage of the war in

into our ongoing coverage of the war in Iran.

>> Nothing bad can happen. It can only good

>> Nothing bad can happen. It can only good

>> Nothing bad can happen. It can only good happen.

happen.

happen. Now, according to public polling, the

Now, according to public polling, the

Now, according to public polling, the war in Iran has less support at its

war in Iran has less support at its

war in Iran has less support at its outset than any previous American war.

outset than any previous American war.

outset than any previous American war. And wars are almost always popular in

And wars are almost always popular in

And wars are almost always popular in the beginning. They're kind of like

the beginning. They're kind of like

the beginning. They're kind of like Apple TV shows.

Apple TV shows.

Apple TV shows. People are like, I don't know what's

People are like, I don't know what's

People are like, I don't know what's going on here, but for some reason, I'm

going on here, but for some reason, I'm

going on here, but for some reason, I'm on board.

on board.

on board. But President Trump doesn't need popular

But President Trump doesn't need popular

But President Trump doesn't need popular support or congressional consent to

support or congressional consent to

support or congressional consent to declare war because he's got a

declare war because he's got a

declare war because he's got a high-profile fan on his side.

high-profile fan on his side.

high-profile fan on his side. >> President Trump made news when he

>> President Trump made news when he

>> President Trump made news when he suggested a former president he's been

suggested a former president he's been

suggested a former president he's been speaking with wishes he had done to Iran

speaking with wishes he had done to Iran

speaking with wishes he had done to Iran what Trump has done.

what Trump has done.

what Trump has done. >> I spoke to one of the former presidents

>> I spoke to one of the former presidents

>> I spoke to one of the former presidents who I actually like and he said, "I wish

who I actually like and he said, "I wish

who I actually like and he said, "I wish I did what you did."

I did what you did."

I did what you did." Okay,

first of all, why is the president

first of all, why is the president

first of all, why is the president holding on to the desk like it's a

holding on to the desk like it's a

holding on to the desk like it's a safety bar and a Six Flags roller

safety bar and a Six Flags roller

safety bar and a Six Flags roller coaster?

coaster?

coaster? No, come into the Oval Office. I I'll be

No, come into the Oval Office. I I'll be

No, come into the Oval Office. I I'll be right with you. Just uh let my French

right with you. Just uh let my French

right with you. Just uh let my French tips dry, you know. No biggie.

tips dry, you know. No biggie.

tips dry, you know. No biggie. But the big question is which former

But the big question is which former

But the big question is which former president gave Trump props for the war

president gave Trump props for the war

president gave Trump props for the war in Iran? Come on, TRUMP. SPILL THE

in Iran? Come on, TRUMP. SPILL THE

in Iran? Come on, TRUMP. SPILL THE BEANS.

BEANS.

BEANS. >> I just want to ask you about something

>> I just want to ask you about something

>> I just want to ask you about something very interesting that you said twice

very interesting that you said twice

very interesting that you said twice today that you talked to another former

today that you talked to another former

today that you talked to another former president about the Iran strikes.

president about the Iran strikes.

president about the Iran strikes. >> I did.

>> I did.

>> I did. >> Was it George W. Bush?

>> Was it George W. Bush?

>> Was it George W. Bush? >> No.

>> No.

>> No. >> Was it Bill Clinton?

>> Was it Bill Clinton?

>> Was it Bill Clinton? >> I don't want to say.

>> I don't want to say.

>> I don't want to say. >> Oh. Oh, I think you've said plenty, Mr.

>> Oh. Oh, I think you've said plenty, Mr.

>> Oh. Oh, I think you've said plenty, Mr. Trump.

Trump.

Trump. >> I don't want to give away who it is. All

>> I don't want to give away who it is. All

>> I don't want to give away who it is. All I can say is that I was recently helping

I can say is that I was recently helping

I can say is that I was recently helping him prep for his Epstein Island

him prep for his Epstein Island

him prep for his Epstein Island deposition. That's all.

deposition. That's all.

deposition. That's all. By the way, I love how Peter Ducey is

By the way, I love how Peter Ducey is

By the way, I love how Peter Ducey is trying to play Guess Who with our

trying to play Guess Who with our

trying to play Guess Who with our toddler president?

toddler president?

toddler president? Is he wearing glasses?

Is he wearing glasses?

Is he wearing glasses? Is he bald? If he was doing karaoke,

Is he bald? If he was doing karaoke,

Is he bald? If he was doing karaoke, would he be allowed to sing All the

would he be allowed to sing All the

would he be allowed to sing All the Words in Gold Digger?

Now,

Now,

Now, there's also another possibility, and

there's also another possibility, and

there's also another possibility, and this may come as a shock, which is that

this may come as a shock, which is that

this may come as a shock, which is that maybe, just possibly, Trump pulled the

maybe, just possibly, Trump pulled the

maybe, just possibly, Trump pulled the whole thing out of his ass. Aids to each

whole thing out of his ass. Aids to each

whole thing out of his ass. Aids to each of the four living former presidents all

of the four living former presidents all

of the four living former presidents all deny they have had any such

deny they have had any such

deny they have had any such conversations with President Trump.

conversations with President Trump.

conversations with President Trump. >> Yes,

>> Yes,

>> Yes, the living former presidents denied

the living former presidents denied

the living former presidents denied talking to Trump. Trump never said

talking to Trump. Trump never said

talking to Trump. Trump never said living.

living.

living. What's more likely? That Bill Clinton

What's more likely? That Bill Clinton

What's more likely? That Bill Clinton thinks starting a half-baked war in the

thinks starting a half-baked war in the

thinks starting a half-baked war in the Middle East was a good idea, or that

Middle East was a good idea, or that

Middle East was a good idea, or that Trump spent 20 minutes talking to a

Trump spent 20 minutes talking to a

Trump spent 20 minutes talking to a portrait of Grover Cleveland.

Regardless of who he's been talking to

Regardless of who he's been talking to

Regardless of who he's been talking to about it, I'm just glad the president

about it, I'm just glad the president

about it, I'm just glad the president has his mind 100% completely focused on

has his mind 100% completely focused on

has his mind 100% completely focused on this daunting situation with Iran.

this daunting situation with Iran.

this daunting situation with Iran. >> I do believe I'll be the honor of having

>> I do believe I'll be the honor of having

>> I do believe I'll be the honor of having the honor of

the honor of

the honor of TAKING CUBA. NO, NO, NO NEW WARS UNTIL

TAKING CUBA. NO, NO, NO NEW WARS UNTIL

TAKING CUBA. NO, NO, NO NEW WARS UNTIL YOU FINISH THE WAR. WE JUST GOT YOU.

YOU FINISH THE WAR. WE JUST GOT YOU.

YOU FINISH THE WAR. WE JUST GOT YOU. THIS is not the time to be taking Cuba.

THIS is not the time to be taking Cuba.

THIS is not the time to be taking Cuba. By the way, what do you mean by taking

By the way, what do you mean by taking

By the way, what do you mean by taking Cuba?

Cuba?

Cuba? >> Taking Cuba.

>> Taking Cuba.

>> Taking Cuba. >> Taking Cuba in some form. Yeah, taking

>> Taking Cuba in some form. Yeah, taking

>> Taking Cuba in some form. Yeah, taking Cuba. I mean, whether I free it, take

Cuba. I mean, whether I free it, take

Cuba. I mean, whether I free it, take it, think I could do anything I want

it, think I could do anything I want

it, think I could do anything I want with it. You want to know the truth?

with it. You want to know the truth?

with it. You want to know the truth? >> You could do anything you want with it.

>> You could do anything you want with it.

>> You could do anything you want with it. I I don't know what's worse, that he's

I I don't know what's worse, that he's

I I don't know what's worse, that he's talking like a super villain or that he

talking like a super villain or that he

talking like a super villain or that he sounds so bored about it. You should be

sounds so bored about it. You should be

sounds so bored about it. You should be cackling with lightning in the

cackling with lightning in the

cackling with lightning in the background when you say like that.

background when you say like that.

background when you say like that. Why are you sounding like Lexapro Luther

Why are you sounding like Lexapro Luther

Why are you sounding like Lexapro Luther over here?

over here?

over here? World is mine, Superman. I guess

World is mine, Superman. I guess

World is mine, Superman. I guess whatever.

whatever.

whatever. While Trump seems unengaged, some people

While Trump seems unengaged, some people

While Trump seems unengaged, some people in his administration are getting worked

in his administration are getting worked

in his administration are getting worked up.

up.

up. >> Breaking news. The head of the National

>> Breaking news. The head of the National

>> Breaking news. The head of the National Counterterrorism Center, Joe Kent,

Counterterrorism Center, Joe Kent,

Counterterrorism Center, Joe Kent, announced just hours ago that he is

announced just hours ago that he is

announced just hours ago that he is resigning immediately over the war in

resigning immediately over the war in

resigning immediately over the war in Iran.

Iran.

Iran. >> Whoa. I mean, that would be even more

>> Whoa. I mean, that would be even more

>> Whoa. I mean, that would be even more damning if this guy wasn't an

damning if this guy wasn't an

damning if this guy wasn't an unqualified crackpot. But

unqualified crackpot. But

unqualified crackpot. But it still has to shake up a president

it still has to shake up a president

it still has to shake up a president when one of your appointees resigns over

when one of your appointees resigns over

when one of your appointees resigns over your war.

your war.

your war. >> I read his statement. I always thought

>> I read his statement. I always thought

>> I read his statement. I always thought he was a nice guy, but I always thought

he was a nice guy, but I always thought

he was a nice guy, but I always thought he was weak on security. Very weak on

he was weak on security. Very weak on

he was weak on security. Very weak on security.

security.

security. You appointed him.

You know what? I I guess that tracks.

You know what? I I guess that tracks.

You know what? I I guess that tracks. Everyone knows the qualifications for

Everyone knows the qualifications for

Everyone knows the qualifications for running the National Counterterrorism

running the National Counterterrorism

running the National Counterterrorism Center. Go nice guy brings muffins to

Center. Go nice guy brings muffins to

Center. Go nice guy brings muffins to the morning meeting and then all the way

the morning meeting and then all the way

the morning meeting and then all the way down the list good on security.

down the list good on security.

down the list good on security. But this split is dividing the entire

But this split is dividing the entire

But this split is dividing the entire MAGA movement right now. There's the

MAGA movement right now. There's the

MAGA movement right now. There's the anti-war side with people like Joe

anti-war side with people like Joe

anti-war side with people like Joe Rogan, Tucker Carlson, and Megan Kelly.

Rogan, Tucker Carlson, and Megan Kelly.

Rogan, Tucker Carlson, and Megan Kelly. And there's the pro-war side with Sean

And there's the pro-war side with Sean

And there's the pro-war side with Sean Hannity, Lindsey Graham, and Mark

Hannity, Lindsey Graham, and Mark

Hannity, Lindsey Graham, and Mark Levvin. And as you can imagine, the

Levvin. And as you can imagine, the

Levvin. And as you can imagine, the quality of an internal MAGA debate is

quality of an internal MAGA debate is

quality of an internal MAGA debate is highly intellectual. On the explatform,

highly intellectual. On the explatform,

highly intellectual. On the explatform, Mark Levvin posted, "Poor Megan Kelly,

Mark Levvin posted, "Poor Megan Kelly,

Mark Levvin posted, "Poor Megan Kelly, an emotionally unhinged, lewd, and

an emotionally unhinged, lewd, and

an emotionally unhinged, lewd, and petulant wreck. She's completely

petulant wreck. She's completely

petulant wreck. She's completely revealed and destroyed herself." In

revealed and destroyed herself." In

revealed and destroyed herself." In response, Megan Kelly posted, "Micro

response, Megan Kelly posted, "Micro

response, Megan Kelly posted, "Micro penis Mark Lucy has the monopoly on LWD.

penis Mark Lucy has the monopoly on LWD.

penis Mark Lucy has the monopoly on LWD. He doesn't like it when women like me

He doesn't like it when women like me

He doesn't like it when women like me fight back because of his micro penis.

fight back because of his micro penis.

fight back because of his micro penis. Oh.

Oh.

Oh. Oh.

OH.

Feels like a bat at the Oxford debate

Feels like a bat at the Oxford debate

Feels like a bat at the Oxford debate club.

club.

club. Be it resolved that dick be tiny.

Be it resolved that dick be tiny.

Be it resolved that dick be tiny. No. It's not a good look for President

No. It's not a good look for President

No. It's not a good look for President Trump to have his followers fighting so

Trump to have his followers fighting so

Trump to have his followers fighting so publicly over their micro penises.

publicly over their micro penises.

publicly over their micro penises. Donnie, why don't you step in and heal

Donnie, why don't you step in and heal

Donnie, why don't you step in and heal the divide? President Trump defended

the divide? President Trump defended

the divide? President Trump defended Mark Levin, posting that he is somewhat

Mark Levin, posting that he is somewhat

Mark Levin, posting that he is somewhat under siege by other people with far

under siege by other people with far

under siege by other people with far less intellect, capability, and love for

less intellect, capability, and love for

less intellect, capability, and love for our country. Mark is tough, strong, and

our country. Mark is tough, strong, and

our country. Mark is tough, strong, and brilliant. In response, Megan Kelly

brilliant. In response, Megan Kelly

brilliant. In response, Megan Kelly posted that Mark Levvin went running to

posted that Mark Levvin went running to

posted that Mark Levvin went running to daddy about his micro penis. DAMN IT,

daddy about his micro penis. DAMN IT,

daddy about his micro penis. DAMN IT, MEGAN. DAMN IT.

MEGAN. DAMN IT.

MEGAN. DAMN IT. OH,

now it's it's obviously not fair to

now it's it's obviously not fair to

now it's it's obviously not fair to accuse Mark Levvin of running to daddy

accuse Mark Levvin of running to daddy

accuse Mark Levvin of running to daddy about his micro penis, although I

about his micro penis, although I

about his micro penis, although I imagine having a micro penis makes the

imagine having a micro penis makes the

imagine having a micro penis makes the running a lot easier.

Totally unrelated, but in high school I

Totally unrelated, but in high school I

Totally unrelated, but in high school I was the slowest guy in gym class.

out there. Don't eat it out there.

out there. Don't eat it out there.

out there. Don't eat it out there. By the way, did you notice that at no

By the way, did you notice that at no

By the way, did you notice that at no point did Trump deny the micro penis

point did Trump deny the micro penis

point did Trump deny the micro penis allegations?

allegations?

allegations? Not exactly the fullthroated defense you

Not exactly the fullthroated defense you

Not exactly the fullthroated defense you watch. HE HAS A MICRO PENIS. HEY, HE'S A

watch. HE HAS A MICRO PENIS. HEY, HE'S A

watch. HE HAS A MICRO PENIS. HEY, HE'S A NICE MAN.

NICE MAN.

NICE MAN. ALSO, I'm sorry. Aren't we at war?

ALSO, I'm sorry. Aren't we at war?

ALSO, I'm sorry. Aren't we at war? You're you're tweeting about your

You're you're tweeting about your

You're you're tweeting about your buddy's micro penis. Was FDR taking time

buddy's micro penis. Was FDR taking time

buddy's micro penis. Was FDR taking time out of his fireside chats to be like,

out of his fireside chats to be like,

out of his fireside chats to be like, "Anyway, that's how D-Day went." Now, if

"Anyway, that's how D-Day went." Now, if

"Anyway, that's how D-Day went." Now, if I may say a few words about whether my

I may say a few words about whether my

I may say a few words about whether my friend Zachary has a cho.

friend Zachary has a cho.

friend Zachary has a cho. Please, please. Isn't there anybody who

Please, please. Isn't there anybody who

Please, please. Isn't there anybody who can calm the situation? Marjorie Taylor

can calm the situation? Marjorie Taylor

can calm the situation? Marjorie Taylor Green, you're a

Green, you're a

Green, you're a you're a respected member of MAGA.

you're a respected member of MAGA.

you're a respected member of MAGA. Perhaps you can bring some intellectual

Perhaps you can bring some intellectual

Perhaps you can bring some intellectual substance to this debate.

substance to this debate.

substance to this debate. >> Former Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor

>> Former Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor

>> Former Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Green posted, "I wholeheartedly support

Green posted, "I wholeheartedly support

Green posted, "I wholeheartedly support Megan Kelly, telling the world that Mark

Megan Kelly, telling the world that Mark

Megan Kelly, telling the world that Mark Levin has a micro penis. Marjorie, come

Levin has a micro penis. Marjorie, come

Levin has a micro penis. Marjorie, come on.

Come on.

With all this talk about micro penises,

With all this talk about micro penises,

With all this talk about micro penises, we're losing sight of the real reason we

we're losing sight of the real reason we

we're losing sight of the real reason we attacked Iran, which is

attacked Iran, which is

You know what? Now that I think about

You know what? Now that I think about

You know what? Now that I think about it, we never got an answer to that,

it, we never got an answer to that,

it, we never got an answer to that, actually. And and believe me, I've been

actually. And and believe me, I've been

actually. And and believe me, I've been searching for one harder than Mark

searching for one harder than Mark

searching for one harder than Mark Levin's urologist, you know. Boom.

Levin's urologist, you know. Boom.

Levin's urologist, you know. Boom. Sorry.

Sorry.

Sorry. Sorry, Mark. I had to get in one last

Sorry, Mark. I had to get in one last

Sorry, Mark. I had to get in one last small one, JUST LIKE YOU. BOOM.

small one, JUST LIKE YOU. BOOM.

small one, JUST LIKE YOU. BOOM. SORRY.

SORRY.

SORRY. OKAY. LOOK, can conservatives please

OKAY. LOOK, can conservatives please

OKAY. LOOK, can conservatives please just stay focused on the actual war?

just stay focused on the actual war?

just stay focused on the actual war? There's a new Ayatollah in power who is

There's a new Ayatollah in power who is

There's a new Ayatollah in power who is dead set on revenge. You should be

dead set on revenge. You should be

dead set on revenge. You should be talking about him, not gossiping about

talking about him, not gossiping about

talking about him, not gossiping about men's penises. The New York Post is

men's penises. The New York Post is

men's penises. The New York Post is reporting that the president was just

reporting that the president was just

reporting that the president was just briefed about the new Ayatollah. Sources

briefed about the new Ayatollah. Sources

briefed about the new Ayatollah. Sources are saying Ayatollah Jr. might be gay.

You got to love that banner. New

You got to love that banner. New

You got to love that banner. New Ayatollah is probably gay.

Ayatollah is probably gay.

Ayatollah is probably gay. Give it up for the fourth estate,

Give it up for the fourth estate,

Give it up for the fourth estate, everyone. Wow. Bravo.

everyone. Wow. Bravo.

everyone. Wow. Bravo. Yes.

Yes.

Yes. Love the media who who apparently are

Love the media who who apparently are

Love the media who who apparently are now reporting gossip like their high

now reporting gossip like their high

now reporting gossip like their high school mean girls. This just in from the

school mean girls. This just in from the

school mean girls. This just in from the CIA. Uh the new Ayatollah got his period

CIA. Uh the new Ayatollah got his period

CIA. Uh the new Ayatollah got his period in the driver's ed car.

in the driver's ed car.

in the driver's ed car. Fine. Fine. I guess we're doing this

Fine. Fine. I guess we're doing this

Fine. Fine. I guess we're doing this media establishment. Let's let's hear

media establishment. Let's let's hear

media establishment. Let's let's hear that hot hot goss. Ayatollah Jr. might

that hot hot goss. Ayatollah Jr. might

that hot hot goss. Ayatollah Jr. might be gay and has been making aggressive

be gay and has been making aggressive

be gay and has been making aggressive sexual advances on his male caretakers

sexual advances on his male caretakers

sexual advances on his male caretakers while hopped up on meds. His father

while hopped up on meds. His father

while hopped up on meds. His father reportedly thought he was too gay to be

reportedly thought he was too gay to be

reportedly thought he was too gay to be Iran's supreme leader.

Iran's supreme leader.

Iran's supreme leader. Too gay.

Too gay.

Too gay. I I like the I like the implication that

I I like the I like the implication that

I I like the I like the implication that the supreme leader of Iran should be a

the supreme leader of Iran should be a

the supreme leader of Iran should be a little gay.

He should be like death to America

He should be like death to America

He should be like death to America except Lady Gaga. You

except Lady Gaga. You

except Lady Gaga. You So that's basically where we're at right

So that's basically where we're at right

So that's basically where we're at right now. This country has launched itself

now. This country has launched itself

now. This country has launched itself into a devastating regional war in the

into a devastating regional war in the

into a devastating regional war in the Middle East. The president is focused on

Middle East. The president is focused on

Middle East. The president is focused on taking Cuba. His movement is split

taking Cuba. His movement is split

taking Cuba. His movement is split amongst themselves. And the media is

amongst themselves. And the media is

amongst themselves. And the media is turning into TMZ. I mean, the quality of

turning into TMZ. I mean, the quality of

turning into TMZ. I mean, the quality of our discourse has absolutely vanished.

our discourse has absolutely vanished.

our discourse has absolutely vanished. And in these fraught times, is it too

And in these fraught times, is it too

And in these fraught times, is it too much to ask for just a a little bit of

much to ask for just a a little bit of

much to ask for just a a little bit of thoughtfulness and dignity? If we could

thoughtfulness and dignity? If we could

thoughtfulness and dignity? If we could just have the smallest amount, it would

just have the smallest amount, it would

just have the smallest amount, it would still be bigger than MARK LEVIN'S PENIS.

still be bigger than MARK LEVIN'S PENIS.

still be bigger than MARK LEVIN'S PENIS. DARLING, SORRY.

SORRY, MARK. SORRY.

SORRY, MARK. SORRY.

SORRY, MARK. SORRY. For more on the rumors about Iran's new

For more on the rumors about Iran's new

For more on the rumors about Iran's new Supreme Leader, let's go live to the

Supreme Leader, let's go live to the

Supreme Leader, let's go live to the Pentagon with Troy Iada. TROY

TROY,

TROY,

TROY, what do you think about the rumors that

what do you think about the rumors that

what do you think about the rumors that the Ayatollah is gay?

the Ayatollah is gay?

the Ayatollah is gay? >> Well, Jordan, as the only gay person in

>> Well, Jordan, as the only gay person in

>> Well, Jordan, as the only gay person in the entertainment industry,

the entertainment industry,

the entertainment industry, I can assure you that the Ayatollah is

I can assure you that the Ayatollah is

I can assure you that the Ayatollah is not gay.

not gay.

not gay. >> Okay. Well, that that makes sense.

>> Okay. Well, that that makes sense.

>> Okay. Well, that that makes sense. >> He's obviously queer baiting, and I

>> He's obviously queer baiting, and I

>> He's obviously queer baiting, and I don't appreciate it.

don't appreciate it.

don't appreciate it. >> I I'm sorry. Queer baiting.

>> I I'm sorry. Queer baiting.

>> I I'm sorry. Queer baiting. >> Yes. Yes. That's it's it's exactly what

>> Yes. Yes. That's it's it's exactly what

>> Yes. Yes. That's it's it's exactly what everyone in Hollywood does to a tea.

everyone in Hollywood does to a tea.

everyone in Hollywood does to a tea. Okay. They take a straight man, tease

Okay. They take a straight man, tease

Okay. They take a straight man, tease the idea that he might be a little, you

the idea that he might be a little, you

the idea that he might be a little, you know, and then just watch everyone get

know, and then just watch everyone get

know, and then just watch everyone get obsessed trying to figure out if he is

obsessed trying to figure out if he is

obsessed trying to figure out if he is indeed a little

indeed a little

indeed a little >> It's It's so manipulative.

>> It's It's so manipulative.

>> It's It's so manipulative. >> But but what why would he even do that?

>> But but what why would he even do that?

>> But but what why would he even do that? The Islamic regime is very homophobic.

The Islamic regime is very homophobic.

The Islamic regime is very homophobic. >> It doesn't doesn't matter how homophobic

>> It doesn't doesn't matter how homophobic

>> It doesn't doesn't matter how homophobic the regime is. A good story is a good

the regime is. A good story is a good

the regime is. A good story is a good story. You know, think about it. a

story. You know, think about it. a

story. You know, think about it. a closeted leader of a homophobic nation,

closeted leader of a homophobic nation,

closeted leader of a homophobic nation, forced to lead after your father, who

forced to lead after your father, who

forced to lead after your father, who never accepted your lifestyle, is

never accepted your lifestyle, is

never accepted your lifestyle, is suddenly killed. And now you're burdened

suddenly killed. And now you're burdened

suddenly killed. And now you're burdened with the responsibility to pass laws and

with the responsibility to pass laws and

with the responsibility to pass laws and uphold traditions that go against your

uphold traditions that go against your

uphold traditions that go against your true nature when all you ever wanted to

true nature when all you ever wanted to

true nature when all you ever wanted to do was just feel that spotlight.

do was just feel that spotlight.

do was just feel that spotlight. >> Wow. I mean, you're right, Troy. I feel

>> Wow. I mean, you're right, Troy. I feel

>> Wow. I mean, you're right, Troy. I feel so bad for him.

so bad for him.

so bad for him. >> HE'S NOT GAY, JORDAN.

>> HE'S NOT GAY, JORDAN.

>> HE'S NOT GAY, JORDAN. HE'S JUST SUCKING you into this fake

HE'S JUST SUCKING you into this fake

HE'S JUST SUCKING you into this fake narrative by doing what every Hollywood

narrative by doing what every Hollywood

narrative by doing what every Hollywood TV show does. It's so gross. I would

TV show does. It's so gross. I would

TV show does. It's so gross. I would only watch like half of it.

only watch like half of it.

only watch like half of it. Oh my god. I mean, what if he falls in

Oh my god. I mean, what if he falls in

Oh my god. I mean, what if he falls in love with an Israeli general, but they

love with an Israeli general, but they

love with an Israeli general, but they can only see each other across the

can only see each other across the

can only see each other across the street of Hormuz

street of Hormuz

street of Hormuz and all of their communication has to be

and all of their communication has to be

and all of their communication has to be nonverbal.

nonverbal.

nonverbal. >> Oh my god. Can you imagine? That would

>> Oh my god. Can you imagine? That would

>> Oh my god. Can you imagine? That would be so sad and hot. I WAIT, STOP. STOP.

be so sad and hot. I WAIT, STOP. STOP.

be so sad and hot. I WAIT, STOP. STOP. NO, YOU'RE getting me sucked into it

NO, YOU'RE getting me sucked into it

NO, YOU'RE getting me sucked into it now. Stop it.

now. Stop it.

now. Stop it. >> I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You're right. It's

>> I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You're right. It's

>> I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You're right. It's It's a very powerful technique. Why

It's a very powerful technique. Why

It's a very powerful technique. Why doesn't our president try queer baiting?

>> Donald is not going to pretend to be

>> Donald is not going to pretend to be

>> Donald is not going to pretend to be gay, Jordan. Okay. He's He's pretty gay

gay, Jordan. Okay. He's He's pretty gay

gay, Jordan. Okay. He's He's pretty gay already.

already.

already. >> What are you talking about? He's married

>> What are you talking about? He's married

>> What are you talking about? He's married to a woman.

to a woman.

to a woman. >> Oh, wow. A gay man has never been

>> Oh, wow. A gay man has never been

>> Oh, wow. A gay man has never been married to a woman before.

married to a woman before.

married to a woman before. Totally.

Wow. Yeah, he's not gay. He just tore

Wow. Yeah, he's not gay. He just tore

Wow. Yeah, he's not gay. He just tore down his wife's office to build a

down his wife's office to build a

down his wife's office to build a ballroom.

ballroom.

ballroom. >> But how do we know he's just not queer

>> But how do we know he's just not queer

>> But how do we know he's just not queer baiting, too?

baiting, too?

baiting, too? >> Because in order for queer baiting to

>> Because in order for queer baiting to

>> Because in order for queer baiting to work, people need to want to have sex

work, people need to want to have sex

work, people need to want to have sex with you.

with you.

with you. Troy water everyone.