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J' baby, baby, baby, baby j'

J' oh, baby I

j“ keep on j“

j“ my baby j'

j“ keep on doin' it j'

j“ right on j“

j“ right on doin' it j'

j“ you got it together j'

j' baby, keep on j'

j' oh, you got it together, baby j“

j“ right on j“

j“ keep on doin' it j“

j“ gotta get it, baby j“

j“ oh, gotta get it j“

j“ my, my, baby, keep on j“

j“ I swear you got it together, baby j“

j“ keep on, keep on j“

j“ whatever, whatever j“

j“ girl, I'll do it j“

J“ forever and ever j“

j“ yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah j“

j“ I'll see you through it j“

j“ I've got to keep you pleased in every way I can j“

j“ gonna give you all of me, as much as you can stand j“

j“ make love to you right now, that's all I want to do j“

j“ I know you need it, girl, and you know I need it, too j“

j“ 'cause I found j“

j“ what the world is searching for j“

j“ here, right here, my dear j“

j“ I don't have to look no more j“

j“and all my days j“

j“ I've hoped and I've prayed j“

j“ for someone just like you j“

j“ make me feel the way you do j“

- Do you think somebody's moved in?

- Could be. Could be.

Oh, my goodness.

“Sherry...

Do you know who that is?

Ken Sherry! He must've moved in next door to us!

- Who's Ken Sherry?

- "Who's Ken Sherry?" Dimity, you amaze me sometimes!

For your information, madam,

Ken Sherry is only a very well known,

very highly regarded radio personality from Brisbane,

who's come down here to takeover radio sunray,

now that wilfred Barnes has passed on.

We should count ourselves extremely fortunate

to have him here in sunray at all,

let alone living right next door to us!

Wilfred Barnes is dead?

- Dead as a dodo. His liver finally took him.

Now, dimity, I don't want you hanging around,

gawking at him all the time and getting in his hair.

I'm not gonna hang around!

- Celebrities are human beings, too, you know,

and they're entitled to their privacy.

I couldn't care less about Ken Sherry!

-All I'm saying is, and it applies to both of us,

let's just have the decency to allow our new neighbour

his personal space, okay?

All right!

- Welcome to sunray.

I thought perhaps you might not have any food in the house,

so I thought I'd take the Liberty of offering you

a sample of our very own homegrown Murray COD.

Freshly caught by yours truly this afternoon.

My name's Vicki-Ann Hurley,

and, uh, I live next door with my sister, dimity.

- Ken Sherry.

Don't worry, we all know who you are.

And by the way, we're all absolutely thrilled

to have you here in sunray.

I hope you don't find us too dull

and boring after Brisbane.

- Thank you, Vicki-Ann, but I don't eat fish.

- Oh, I'm sorry.

- That's all right. - It's just the way it is.

- Well, how's about a chicken casserole, perhaps?

- No, really, I'm fine. Thank you.

I thought we'd be having fish.

- Well, you thought wrong.

- Did you give our fish to Ken Sherry?

Ken Sherry doesn't eat fish.

- Did you talk to him?

- Yes, we chatted.

- Is he creepy?

- Actually, he seems to be a very, very nice man.

- Table? - Yes, please.

How many?

- One.

- Would you like to walk this way, please?

- Would you mind?

- You want me to open it? - Thank you.

Are your prawns fresh?

- Fresh?

- Your prawns.

- Think so. Yeah, they are.

- Not frozen?

No way.

- Not frozen, even given that we're, what,

1,000 kilometres from the nearest ocean?

- No.

- When did they get here?

- Huh?

- How fresh are they, exactly?

- Pretty fresh.

- Would you mind very much checking with the chef?

The man outside wants to know

if the prawns are fresh?

- You had a query regarding the prawns?

- That's right.

Snap-frozen.

- I see.

- Snap-frozen on the actual trawler. We buy them in bulk.

- I see. Thank you.

- Ken Sherry. Am I right?

- Yes, that's right.

- Albert Lee, sir, at your service.

Welcome to sunray.

- Thank you.

We're delighted to be having you on our airwaves.

- Well, I'm delighted to be here.

- We feel very privileged to have you in our town

as we hear you're very big in Brisbane.

TV, too, am I right?

- Yes. Briefly.

-Ah, yes.

All too briefly.

You bring the family with you?

- No, Albert. As it happens, I'm divorced.

- “Divorced." mm.

Don't talk to me about divorce.

That's why I'm still a bachelor.

To me, marriage is a sacred institution.

To me, commitment is for a lifetime.

If I had a wife, I'd put her on a pedestal.

That's where I think a wife belongs.

- Many species of fish mate for life.

Like, for example, the garfish.

- Hm, garfish.

Perhaps we would do well to emulate the garfish

more in our day-to-day life.

Truly, I'm a great believer in gleaning things from nature.

Nature has a lot to teach us.

That's why..

I've come to embrace nudism.

Not in my working hours, of course,

but in my own private time.

What could be more natural than to be nude?

- Excuse me.

I've just driven 900 kilometres today and I'm tired.

Would you mind very much leaving me in peace?

- As you wish.

As you wish.

I'll leave the girl to look after all your needs

and requirements.

And I'll get back to the kitchen where I belong.

- Thank you.

-And as I say, I think you'll find those prawns

very fresh, indeed, very succulent.

- Give me the beef in black bean sauce.

- Did he eat it all?

- Huh?

Did he eat it all up?

His beef in black bean sauce.

- Most of it.

- Well, what do you know.

I hope it was fresh enough for him.

I'll have to stop serving food that's gone off

now that Ken Sherry's arrived in town.

- Um, excuse me for interrupting,

but my sister Vicki-Ann is looking for a boyfriend

and we live right next door to you.

- I see.

What about you?

Are you looking for a boyfriend?

- I had that dream again last night.

- What dream?

The one where there's a marshmallow inside my head,

and it keeps getting bigger and bigger.

- Oh, that dream.

I wonder if our new neighbour

enjoyed his casserole last night.

- I doubt it, since he came in to Albert's.

- Excuse me?

He came in to Albert's last night.

- For a meal?

What did he have?

- Beef in black bean sauce.

He only had to wait 45 minutes

and he would've had a chicken casserole!

Maybe he doesn't like chicken.

- Did you find out any other information?

- Not really.

- Was he on his own?

Well, that's something.

- I've told him you're looking for a boyfriend.

- What?

- I told him you're looking for a boyfriend.

Well, you are, aren't you?

- You don't just go and announce it to total strangers.

He must think I'm completely desperate!

What did he say, anyway?

What did he say when you told him

I was looking for a boyfriend?

- Nothing much.

- "Nothing much"? What do you mean, “nothing much“?

What did he say? Did he say anything?

- I can't remember!

- You can't remember?

J“doitj“

j“doitj“

j“doitj“

j“ do the hustle j“

- Van McCoy & the soul city symphony.

Kind of appropriate, really, to play "the hustle",

because, well, normally I never play music

that's pertinent to anything as a rule,

let me get that straight from the outset.

That might be the style of other DJs, but it's not mine.

And yet, ironically enough,

that's just what I've come to sunray to escape.

The hustle and bustle of life in the big city.

And I see that not only have I escaped

the hustle and bustle,

but have also escaped anything resembling '90s technology.

I don't say that Brisbane

is the centre of the civilised world,

but at least we'd heard of the compact disc there.

You know, often I lie in bed at night

for quite some time now, owing to certain,

certain things manifesting themselves.

I don't want to bore you with details.

Heck, I hardly know you.

Suffice to say, I don't sleep like a baby anymore.

Let's put it that way.

In fact, I barely sleep at all.

So, I have all those hours, pre-dawn, to reflect on my life.

My life's journey.

And I have to confess, it's taken many twists and turns

and deviations over the years.

And now, to my surprise,

I find my journey has brought me

to this little rural paradise,

on the banks of the Murray river.

Ever heard the expression,

“stop the world, I want to get off"?

Well, my name is Ken Sherry, and I got off in sunray.

J“ take it off j“

j“ baby, take it all off j“

j“ I wanna see you the way you came into the world j“

j“ I don't wanna feel no clothes j“

j“ I don't wanna see no panties j“

j“ and take off that brassiere, my dear j“

j“ everybody's gone j“

J“ because baby you and me j“

j“ this night we're gonna get it on j“

j“ love j“ j“ to love serenade j“

j“ serenade j“

j“ you know I get in these moods j“

j“ well, you know how it is j“

j“ and I'm very glad to know that j“

j“ you feel the same way, too j“

j“ then we're gonna lay here and we're gonna make love j“

j“and we're gonna do it, and we're gonna do it j“

j“ and we're gonna do it j“

J“ little angel j“

j“ my little angel j“

- should've heard the way he carried on

about the casserole I took over for him.

I was so embarrassed.

I said, “for heaven's sake,

all I did was open a couple of cans."

Honestly, you'd have thought he'd never had a decent meal

before in his life.

- Maybe his ex-wife couldn't cook.

- Well, very possibly.

Actually, that would make sense, given how pleased he was.

But, I think more than anything,

he was just extremely touched by the gesture.

Because he kept going on and on about good old-fashioned

country hospitality and so forth.

I can tell he'd really know

how to make a woman feel special.

- Oh, Vicki-Ann, why don't you just marry him?

- Oh, I hardly think so.

- Why not? He likes your cooking.

- Do you think for one minute that a man that's been through

such a messy divorce is ready for romance?

The last thing he needs at the moment

is more emotional upheaval!

Now, all I can do is let him know that I'm there for him.

If you need a chin-wag or a shoulder to cry on, that's all!

J“ with me all the time j“

j“ my little angel j“

- Hi.

- Did you listen?

- Did you listen to Ken Sherry?

Fascinating man.

Apparently, the ex-wife couldn't cook.

Can you imagine?

Couldn't even boil an egg.

No wonder he was so thrilled to get my casserole.

As I said to Debbie this morning,

what we've all got to remember is that this man

has come to sunray to heal.

He won't be wanting to rush into anything romance wise.

Not after the way his ex-wife treated him.

Slowly, bit by bit, he may learn how to love again.

But in the meantime, we just have to leave him be.

Just a smile and a wave, just a simple, friendly gesture

to let him know he has a friend here, if he needs one.

To ease his loneliness.

I think that's enough at this point.

- What if somebody else gets him first?

- Like who?

- I don't know!

Someone might, that's all.

- Well, I look at it this way.

Sooner or later, he's gonna have to get a haircut.

How is your sister?

- She's okay.

- I'm glad.

I'm glad to hear it.

J'ij'

j“am a lineman for the county j“

j“ and I drive the main road j“

j“ searching in the sun for another overload j“

j“and I need her more than want her j“

j“ and I want her for all time j“

j“and the Wichita lineman j“

j“ is still j“

j“ on the line j“

- Guess what?

- What?

- I took Ken Sherry a pot of oxtail stew.

- Oxtail stew? You never make oxtail stew.

- It hit me all of a sudden.

Of course!

Ken Sherry is not a chicken man!

What was I thinking?

Like most men, he wants something hearty.

Hence, the beef in black bean sauce.

Well, you should've heard him.

He was thrilled to bits.

And you know, I can't help thinking there's a

definite chemistry between us, already.

- Is there any leftover? - Any what?

Any oxtail stew?

- I told you, I gave it to Ken Sherry.

- What am I going to eat?

- I thought you'd eat at Albert's!

- I'm sick of Chinese! I hate Chinese!

- Well, I don't know. Have some scrambled eggs, then.

- I don't feel like scrambled eggs! I feel like oxtail stew!

- Well, that's too bad. Go without.

- Well, looks like I'll have to, doesn't it?

Don't mind me. I'm just your sister.

I'm not Ken Sherry, big-shot radio personality.

- I don't think you'll be seeing so much of Ken Sherry

at Albert's anymore, somehow.

Go placidly, amidst the noise and the haste,

and remember what peace there may be in silence.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly and listen to others,

even the dull and ignorant, for they too have their story.

Be yourself.

Especially do not feign affection,

neither be cynical about love.

For in the face of all the aridity and disenchantment,

it is as perennial as the grass.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe.

No less than the trees and the stars,

you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you,

no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams,

it is still a beautiful world.

Be cheerful, strive to be happy.

J“ what the world needs now j“

j“ is love, sweet love j“

J“ it's the only thing that there's just too little of j“

j“ what the world needs now j“

j“ is love, sweet love j“

j“ no, not just for some, but for everyone j“

j“ lord, we don't need another mountain j“

j“ there are mountains and hillsides j“

j“ enough to climb j“

j“ there are oceans and rivers j“

j“ enough to cross j“

j“ enough to last j“

j“ till the end of time j“

j“ what the world needs now j“

j“ is love, sweet love j“

j“ it's the only thing that there's just too little of j“

j“ what the world needs now j“

j“ is love, sweet love j“

j“ no, not just for some, but for everyone j“

j“ lord, we don't need another Meadow j“

j“ there are cornfields and wheat fields j“

j“ enough to grow j“

j“ there are sunbeams and moonbeams j“

j“ enough to shine j“

j“ oh, listen, lord, if you want to know j“

j“ what the world needs now j“

j“ is love, sweet love j“

j“ it's the only thing that there's just too little of j“

j“ what the world needs now j“

j“ is love, sweet love j“

j“ no, not just for some, but for everyone j“

J“ what the world needs now j“

j“ is love, sweet love j“

j“ what the world needs now j“

j“ is love, sweet love j“

j“ what the world needs now j“

j“ is love, sweet love j“

j“ what the world needs now j“

j“ is love, sweet love j“

j“ what the world needs now j“

j“ is love, sweet love j“

- I just wanted to say something.

I just wanted to say that I really like that

thing that you read on the radio today.

- "Thing".

I suppose it is a thing, of sorts.

With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams,

it is still a beautiful world.

Be cheerful.

Strive to be happy.

Well, that's very kind of you to say so.

Would you join me?

What's your name?

- Dimity.

Dimity Hurley.

I live right next door to you.

- Ah, yes, that's right.

And your sister is looking for a boyfriend.

- She's not desperate or anything.

- Tell me something, dimity. - Take me away from myself.

Surprise me.

Well, for example, how old are you?

- 20.

Nearly 21.

- That's a very nice age for a girl to be.

So, what do you do with yourself in your spare time?

I'm assuming you have spare time. Do you have spare time?

-Well...

I like to fish.

- Fish?

I have a very large fish.

I could show you, if you like fish.

Sure is big.

Big enough.

- Do you think...

- Do you think maybe a fish has a soul?

- Do I think a fish has a soul?

Of course a fish has a soul.

- Yes, but a soul like our soul?

- You mean a human being's soul?

No.

A fish's soul is very different

to the soul of a human being.

- How come? What way?

- Well, for one thing,

a human being's soul can't breathe undennater.

And for another thing,

I don't think a fish can go to heaven.

That is, if there is a heaven, of course.

What do you think, dimity?

Can a fish go to heaven?

Assuming there is a heaven.

- I'm not sure.

- Nor am I, dimity.

Nor am I.

- Do you ever feel loneliness?

- Loneliness?

Of course I feel loneliness.

- Me too.

Sometimes. Not all the time.

Would you like me to ease it for you?

- Ease what?

Your loneliness?

- My loneliness?

- I could ease it for you, maybe.

J“ it feels so good j“

j“ you lying here next to me j“

j“ oh, what a groove j“

j“ you have no idea how it feels j“

j“ my hands just won't keep still j“

j“ I love you, baby j“

j“ oh, I love you, I love you, I love you j“

j“ I just wanna hold you j“

j“ run my fingers through your hair j“

J“ outta sight j“

j“ uh-huh, right there j“

j“ you like it like that j“

j“ closer j“

j“ come here, closer, closer j“

j“ oh, baby j“

j“ give it up, ain't no use j“

- I'm sorry, Kenneth. I know it's late.

Is my sister dimity being a nuisance?

- She's not being a nuisance. I can assure you.

Okay, then. I just thought I...

Dimity! I know you're in there!

Come home right now or you're in big trouble!

- Do you mind?

- I'm sorry, Kenneth.

I realise this might seem rather untoward, but,

as I'm her sister, I think I know what's best.

Dimity!

I'm waiting!

There you are.

Come on! Get home.

Do you have any idea what time it is?

Ken Sherry has a radio show to do tomorrow,

and I'm sure he doesn't appreciate

being kept up till all hours!

I'm sorry, Kenneth.

I'll make sure she doesn't bother you again.

As I say, she means well, but...

Dimity!

- What were you doing in there? - I'm trying to sleep!

- Oh, with your clothes on? - Go away!

- Not until you tell me what was going on over there!

- Nothing! - What do you mean, “nothing"?

- We were having a discussion about fish.

- Fish?

- He has a big fish on his wall.

- What kind of fish?

- A big marlin.

- What? Did he catch it or something?

- I'm not sure. I think so.

- What else did you talk about?

- That's it. Just fish.

Then you started banging on the door.

- I know this is hard for you to understand, dimity,

but it's really for the best

if you stay away from Ken Sherry.

People find you a bit odd, that's all.

It's only because they don't know you like I know you,

admittedly, but you just have that effect on people.

- Well, maybe if they get to know me like you know me,

they won't think I'm so odd.

- No, actually, I think you're odd, too.

Everyone thinks you're odd.

You are odd.

And it's doing nothing to help my chances with Ken Sherry

if you hang around him all the time wanting to discuss fish!

He's likely to think I'm odd, too.

He'll perhaps think it runs in the family.

Now, come on, fudgy, don't sulk.

All right, then.

Goodnight.

Hi!

- Hi.

How are you today?

I'm okay.

How are you?

- How am I?

Well, I guess I have some loneliness

that's in need of easing.

Is your sister home?

Have you had breakfast?

Would you like to come in and ease my loneliness for me?

I thought you'd have your clothes off by now.

- What about your radio show? Won't you be late?

- Maybe a little.

Why?

How long is this loneliness easing going to take?

- I don't know.

- You know, correct me if I'm wrong

but I get the feeling, dimity,

you don't do this every day of the week.

- I don't.

Not really.

- Have you ever done it before?

- Not really.

- I see.

Oh, that's okay.

Lucky for you, dimity, virgins are my specialty.

Take your top off.

- Excuse me. Can I ask you a question?

- Of course.

Do you think I'm odd?

- Odd? In what way odd?

- Just odd.

Well, no more odd than anyone else. We're all odd.

- You're not odd!

- Oh, I'm odd. I'm very odd.

You're not odd! You're nice!

- Well, you're nice, too.

Now, take your t-shirt off.

Virginity is a wonderful thing, dimity,

and nothing to be ashamed of.

In fact, I prefer girls who haven't had too much experience.

There's nothing more off-putting than the ones

that know their way around.

Take your pants off.

What's wrong?

Are you nervous?

- A little.

It's like going to the dentist,

only you gotta take all your clothes off.

- There's nothing to be nervous about.

I'll be frank with you.

It'll hurt a little at first, but even then,

not as bad as the dentist.

And then, pretty soon,

it'll become very, very pleasurable.

Don't worry.

I'll take it easy on you.

- Okay.

- Have you ever kissed a man before?

- Not really.

- Well, why don't you come over here

and I'll show you what it's like.

J“ sexy baby, good loving daddy j“

j“ let me be your rocking chair j“

j“ rock me away from here j“

j“ let's get it on j“

j“ come to me, baby j“

j“ oh, let me be your rocking chair j“

j“ just rock me away from here j“

j“ rock me gently j“

j“ make me feel like a cloud in the sky j“

j“ whisper softly j“

j“ let my heart take wing and fly j“

J“ sexy baby, good loving daddy j“

J“ let me be your rocking chair j“

j“ just rock me away from here j“

j“ let's get it on j“

j“ come to me, honey j“

j“ let me be your rocking chair j“

- I'd like to pay a tribute, if I may,

to the generous hospitality of sunray girls.

Especially in regard to the easing of a man's loneliness.

J“ just rock me, baby j“

j“ in my rocking chair, baby j“

- sorry, I'm late, by the way. J“all night long j“

j“ till the morning come, just you, baby j“

- What's wrong?

- Nothing's wrong. Why? - You're sitting funny.

Here you go.

- Thanks.

- He was late today.

Who?

- Ken Sherry.

- Oh.

- I wonder if he's gone and got a girlfriend already?

- What makes you say that? - I don't know.

Just something he said on the radio today.

Maybe I'm reading too much into it.

Whose shirt is that?

- What? This shirt?

- Yes. That shirt.

- This is my boyfriend's shirt.

- Your boyfriend?

- Mm-hm. - Who's your boyfriend?

Albert?

- No. - Who, then?

- Ken Sherry.

- Excuse me? - Ken Sherry.

- Um, excuse me very much, dimity,

but I don't think Ken Sherry is your boyfriend.

- Well, we had sex this morning.

- What did you do that for?

- What?

- Have sex with Ken Sherry.

- He wanted to. - You threw yourself at him!

- No, I didn't!

- Don't you realise he's trying

to get over a painful divorce?

He doesn't want to be having sex with people!

- Yes, he does!

Jesus, Vicki-Ann.

Breathe!

- That's it.

I wash my hands of you.

You're no longer my sister.

I've done nothing but care for you,

and look after you all your life,

and now you've betrayed me.

You've betrayed my trust,

and you've betrayed Ken Sherry's trust.

No longer speak to me.

- I'm allowed to have a boyfriend, too, you know!

- What did you say?

- You heard.

- Having sex with someone does not mean

that they're your boyfriend, dimity.

- That's a nice little fish you've got there, Albert.

I thought it might've been Ken, but it wasn't.

- Ken?

- Ken Sherry?

I thought it might've been Ken Sherry, but it wasn't.

- Thank heaven for small mercies.

"Beef in black bean sauce.

Beef in black bean sauce."

Why doesn't he order anything else?

Has he read the rest of the menu?

- Hi.

- Hi.

- I bought you something.

- What's this?

- Beef in black bean sauce.

- Actually, I've already eaten.

- Oh.

- Your sister left one of her casseroles on the doorstep.

Everyone seems very anxious that I eat for some reason.

- Did you want to come in? - Yes, please.

-All right, then.

Let me tell you something about love, dimity.

- Okay.

- See that big fish up there?

Mm-hm.

Love's like that fish.

- Dead?

- No.

Let's say it's still alive.

I want you to think for a moment

about how you'd hate to see a magnificent creature like that

trapped in a pokey little fish tank.

- I suppose, yeah.

- Well, it's the same with love.

Love one another, but make not a bond of love.

Let it rather be a moving sea

between the shores of your souls.

Do you know what happens to love, if it isn't set free?

- No.

- It withers and dies.

- That's like Vicki-Ann.

She had a boyfriend once. You know what happened to him?

- What?

- He fell on his chainsaw.

J“ it feels so good j“

j“ you lying here next to me j“

j“ oh, what a groove j“

J“ you have no idea how it feels j“

j“ my hands just won't keep still j“

J“ I love you, baby j“

j“ oh, I love you, I love you, I love you j“

J“ I just wanna hold you j“

j“ run my fingers through your hair j“

J“ outta sight j“

j“ uh-huh, right there j“

j“ you like it like that j“

J“ closer j“

J“ oh, baby j“

J“ give it up j“

- haven't you got a home to go to?

- What's your sister doing hanging around outside?

- Just ignore her.

Just ignore her, Deborah. Don't encourage her!

- She's giving me the creeps, Vicki-Ann!

- Move along.

- Huh?

- Move along. Shoo!

You're scaring away the customers.

Shoo! Shoo!

Hi!

- Hi.

- I bought you a present.

Says, "I wuv you".

- So it does.

Don't go getting too fond of me, dimity.

- Why not?

- Just don't. Okay?

I'm not worth it.

- You are so worth it!

- Okay, okay

I suppose I just don't want to see you

getting hurt, that's all.

- You don't like the balloon!

- It's not a question of liking the balloon, dimity.

Now, do I get a kiss, as well?

J“ sexy baby j“

j“ good loving daddy j“

j“ let me be your rocking chair j“

j“ rock me away from here j“

j“ let's get it on j“

j“ come to me, baby j“

j“ let me be your rocking chair j“

j“ just rock me away from here j“

j“ rock me gently j“

j“ make me feel like a cloud in the sky j“

j“ whisper softly j“

j“ let my heart take wing and fly j“

J“ sexy baby j“

j“ good loving daddy j“

j“ let me your rocking chair j“

J“ just rock me away from here j“

Good morning!

Good morning.

- Seeing as how it's such a lovely day,

I thought perhaps I'd do the neighbourly thing

and invite you to join me in a picnic on our famous river.

- That sounds very pleasant.

- It's about time you saw the sights.

You can come, too, if you want.

Gosh, it's beautiful, isn't it?

The river?

Actually, the Murray river

is a very deceitful kind of river.

It looks innocent enough,

but it's taken a lot of people over the years.

Good swimmers, too.

Water skiers.

A lot of water skiers, for some reason.

- They get snagged on the dead trees hidden under the water.

That's it.

Fish food.

- And it has holes that swallow you up.

We had a dog once that was swimming near the bend over there

and a hole swallowed him up.

His name was sooty, he was chasing a stick.

- No hole swallowed him up. - I'm sorry?

- A fish took him.

Here we go.

- A big fish. Probably a carp.

- A carp took sooty?

- I've never believed this hole business.

Holes don't swallow you up.

- Everything always has to come down to fish with you.

- You know yourself carp have tremendous jaws!

- No carp could eat a dog!

- What about that big carp we saw last summer?

It could've swallowed sooty in two gulps.

- Sooty fell in a hole and drowned. Face facts, dimity.

- You face facts!

You didn't see the startled expression on his face!

He had the stick in his mouth,

and was dog-paddling towards me, and all of a sudden,

he looked very surprised and he disappeared!

That dog didn't fall in any hole!

You're crazy.

- Well, how come we never found his body?

- Can't you just let the little fellow rest in peace?

Sorry, Ken.

- Oh, that's okay.

Actually, I'm with you, Vicki-Ann.

Why would a fish eat a dog?

J“ me and Mrs. Jones j“

j“ we got a thing j“

j“ goin' on j“

j“ we both know that it's wrong j“

j“ but it's much too strong j“

j“ to let it go now j“

j“ we meet every day at the same cafe j“

j“ 6:30 j“

j“and no one knows she'll be there j“

- god, it's warm in here.

I don't know. Life.

Can you make sense of it?

It's a joke, really, isn't it?

Take me, for example.

How old am I now?

44? 45?

Old enough to know better.

And you wonder why my marriages didn't last.

I wonder, too.

You see, I've always demonstrated

a remarkable consistency in one respect,

and that is that I've always been a fool,

where women are concerned.

All women.

Fat, thin.

Blonde, brunette.

Big-breasted, flat-chested.

Can't help it. I love them all.

And yet, so often, when all that you crave

is compassion and understanding,

all that you receive instead is acrimony and churlishness.

After all, what did I really do that was such a crime?

The way I see it, all I've done is

love a little too much and a little too hard.

And for that, I've been tried and executed many times over.

Am I speaking in riddles?

Well, life is a riddle, isn't it?

And here's another one.

What I've got, you can't catch in a net.

- Table? - Yes, please.

- How many? - Just the two of us.

- See what I mean about smiling?

No smiling, no people skills.

People like to feel welcome, you know?

- Piss off.

- Charming.

- Who is it?

- Ken Sherry.

With Vicki-Ann.

- Right.

Okay.

That's it.

- Chicken and sweetcorn soup.

- Excuse me!

This won't take a minute, but I have a bone to pick with you

and I'd appreciate if you'd lend me an ear,

since I am a ratepayer of sunray,

and have a right to be heard.

- Yes?

- Your predecessor, wilfred bonds,

had his problems, admittedly.

Mainly due to the business with his liver.

And sometimes he was a little difficult to understand, sure.

But I'll tell you one thing.

Wilfred bonds used to play the songs

that the public wanted to hear.

The public doesn't want to sit around all day

listening to songs about the act of procreation.

- Well, I'll certainly take your remarks on board, Albert.

Thanks for taking the time to share them with me.

- That's okay.

Hello, Vicki-Ann.

- Hello, Albert.

- Tell me, what sort of songs do you think

the public would prefer to hear?

- What sort of songs?

Gee, I don't know.

You've caught me on the hop.

Let me think.

Oh, you know.

Glen Campbell, Charlie rich.

The 5th dimension and such like.

- Charlie rich, you mean, "behind closed doors"?

That sort of song?

- Exactly.

- I see.

Tell me, what do you suppose “behind closed doors" is about?

- I'm not sure. I can't recall offhand.

- Well, let me help you.

“When we get behind closed doors,

and she lets her hair hang down,

she makes me glad that I'm a man."

What do you suppose that's all about, Albert?

It seems to me that song is about the act of,

as you put it, “Procreation...

- Maybe so.

But at least Charlie rich seems to base

his acts of procreation on a foundation of love

and mutual respect.

- You ready to order?

- I don't like it.

I don't like it at all.

All you girls go crazy for Ken Sherry.

But I say he's not to be trusted.

You know why?

Tell me this.

Tell me this one thing.

What does he care if my prawns are fresh?

Does he ever order prawns?

Tell me what it is he always orders.

- Beef in black bean sauce.

- Why is it he never orders my prawns?

- He doesn't eat fish.

- A prawn is a crustacean.

- Or crustaceans.

- So why does he care, if my prawns are fresh?

- So tell me, Vicki-Ann,

have you had many men in your life up till now?

- Well, I was involved with a fellow several years ago.

It was getting pretty serious between us.

He was pretty keen to tie the knot.

- What happened to him?

- Unfortunately, he met with an accident

involving a chainsaw.

- I see.

- Which was a bit of a shame, really.

- And since then, no one?

- No, not really.

I've had some offers, but frankly, Ken,

there aren't many reasonable, decent men left in sunray.

Actually, Albert from the restaurant

was very keen on me at one stage.

- Albert?

- Yes, he took a big shine to me.

Unfortunately, he had some very funny ideas

which I just couldn't embrace, so we left it at that.

He likes to walk around the house

with no clothes on and such like.

I couldn't be in it.

- Why not?

Do you have a problem with nudity?

- I think nudity is well and good in its place.

- What if I were to ask you to take your clothes off

right now?

- Right now?

- Sure.

Why not?

I'll take my clothes off, too.

What's the matter?

Are you shy?

- A little.

- That's okay.

It's okay to be shy.

Why don't we take it a step at a time?

- Okay.

- Take off your dress.

J“ sexy j“

J“ woman j“

J“ take me in your arms j“

j“ rock your baby j“

j“ woman j“

j“ take me your arms j“

Ken?

J“ rock your baby j“

Ken?

J“ hold me tight j“

j“ with all your might j“

j“ now, let your loving flow j“

j“ real sweet and slow j“

j“ woman j“

j“ take me in your arms j“

j“ rock your baby j“

j“ woman j“

j“ take me in your arms j“

j“ rock your baby j“

j“ come on j“

J“ woman j“

j“ take me in your arms j“

j“ rock your baby j“

J“ take me in your arms and love me j“

j“ take me in your arms and love me j“

- Good morning!

Do I look different in any way?

- No.

Why?

Oh, nothing. I just feel different, that's all.

Don't take it to heart, you old duffer.

We're still sisters, aren't we?

Meet me in the park at lunchtime.

I've got something very important to tell you.

- What did you do to my fish?

- Nothing!

- You want some breakfast?

- Yes, please.

- What concerns me, dimity, is that you might be harbouring

some residual hard feelings

about the way things have shaped up.

It was certainly never my intention

to end our special friendship.

Frankly, I think the both of you could afford

to relax and loosen up a little.

As I see it, we have one life to live.

And by crikey, we owe it to our creator, whoever he may be,

to get out there and reach out,

and grab all the joys and loves

and beautiful experiences that come our way.

Life and love, dimity.

That's all there is.

And just because I'm also having sex with your sister,

doesn't mean for a moment that I care for you

one iota less.

Not one iota less.

Remember that.

What do you say we adjourn to the next room

for a bit of loneliness healing?

J“ now the lord, he'll forgive you for cheating j“

j“and the lord, he'll forgive you if you lie j“

j“ yes, he'll forgive j“

j“ and he'll help you to live j“

j“ but he sure frowns down soundly on you and I j“

j“ it must be a sin j“

j“ when you love somebody j“

j“ damned if you don't j“

j“ twice damned if you do j“

J“ it must be a sin j“

J“ when you love j“

- what do you want?

- I need to talk to you!

- Just a minute.

Come in.

Sit.

Sit.

How can I help you?

- Well, I have a question to ask you.

- Fire away.

- Are some men...

Different?

- Different?

You mean different as in homosexual?

- No.

I mean, different, as in they have gills?

- Gills?

Who is it? Who are you talking about?

- Ken Sherry.

- I knew it.

- He has them right here,

and he extrudes fat through them, just like the carp.

The carp?

- I think it was the carp.

- I don't like it.

I don't like it at all.

And hasn't he managed to inveigle himself

into your sister's affections?

Well, that's just not on.

No, sir.

We can't have your cherished sister

involving herself with a fish.

- So, you think he is a fish, then?

- Well, what else could it mean?

- Don't know.

Hi.

- Hi.

- Well, what have you been up to?

- Nothing.

- Did you want to hear my special news?

- All right.

- It's not in any way official yet,

but I think it's okay to tell you.

Kenneth and I will be getting married.

- Married? - That's right.

And I'd like you to be my bridesmaid!

- No! - What do you mean, “no"?

- I don't think you should. - What?

- I don't think you should marry him!

- Oh, here we go!

I thought you might manage to rise above your petty gripe,

seeing as I'm your sister.

But it seems I judged you too highly.

If you're gonna be that way, you can certainly forget

about the bridesmaids business.

- I have reason to believe he may be some kind of fish.

- A fish?

- Or part fish.

- How dare you?

How dare you cast dispersions on my fiance,

simply because he dumped you in favour of me.

You just want to wreck everything as usual.

The way you always do,

when anyone ever pays me any attention.

Well, I'm wise to you, my friend.

In fact, I feel sorry for you.

I feel sorry for you, and so does Ken!

J“ now the lord, he's known for his kindness j“

j“ he's always willing to set a sinner free j“

j“ set a sinner free j“

j“ he'll save your soul j“

j“ and he'll make you whole j“

j“ but I don't see no angels coming down j“

j“ shining their light on you and me j“

j“ it must be a sin j“

j“ when you love somebody j“

j“ damned if you don't j“

j“ twice damned if you do j“

j“ it must be a sin j“

j“ when you love somebody j“

j“ as much j“

j“ as I'm loving you j“

- "it must be a sin when you love somebody.

Damned if you don't,

twice damned if you do."

That's for Albert, from Albert's Chinese restaurant

in main street.

Albert requested, among other things,

that I play less songs about, as he put it,

“the act of procreation."

And you know something? Maybe I'm confused.

Maybe I've somehow got it wrong because, believe me,

Ken Sherry is capable, occasionally, of getting it wrong.

But to me,

the act of procreation

is the act of love.

And there is no way in this whole, wide,

weird and wonderful world,

that I'm going to stop playing songs about love,

because that's all there is.

That's all there is.

- Vicki-Ann!

- In here!

What do you think?

It's not a little out-of—date, is it?

I don't think so, either.

This sort of style is timeless, really, isn't it?

What say we give Ken a sneak preview?

- I don't think we should.

- Oh, for goodness sake.

Don't be such a superstitious, old fuddy-duddy.

Surprise!

- What is this?

- What do you think, you old duffer?

- You're getting married? - I certainly am.

- Who's the lucky man? - If I can call him that.

- You are, of course.

- I don't think so, Vicki-Ann.

- But I thought that- - you didn't think, Vicki-Ann.

That's the trouble.

Please don't bother me again.

Breathe, Vicki-Ann!

- I get asthma attacks,

whenever I'm stressed or in any way over-excited.

That's why I must never get aggravated,

or I could possibly die.

J“ take it off j“

j“ baby, take it all off j“

- Vicki-Ann?

J“ I want you the way you came into the world j“

- where are you going?

Vicki-Ann!

J“ I don't wanna see no panties j“

j“ and take off that brassiere, my dear j“

j“ everybody's gone j“

j“ we'll take the receiver off the phone j“

j“ because, baby, you and me j“

j“ this night, we're gonna get it on j“

j“ love j“ j“ to love serenade j“

j“ serenade j“

- shit.

J“ you know I get in these moods j“

j“ well, you know how it is j“

j“ and I'm very glad to know that you feel the same way too j“

j“ baby we're gonna lay here and we're gonna make love j“

j“ and we're gonna do it like it's supposed to be done j“

- Vicki-Ann!

J“ heaven only knows what goes on behind closed doors j“

Vicki-Ann!

J“ the very depths of our souls j“

- what are you doing?

J“ but you and me, baby j“

- come down!

J“alive, so alive j“

Vicki-Ann, come down!

J“ oh, baby j“

j“ oh, baby j“

- She's gone up the silo.

- What, is she planning on jumping?

- I don't know. She might.

- Well, what do you want me to do about it?

- Can't you try and talk to her?

- Okay.

But I'm not gonna make a habit of this.

J“ make me want you j“

j“ tempt me, tempt me, tempt me, make me need you j“

J“ let me long for you j“

j“ you'll know what it's like when a man j“

j“ and woman becomes one j“

j“and the only real way you can do that, baby j“

j“ is when we're makin' love to each other j“

j“ when you reach that j“

j“ that simple feeling wwhen you're makin' love it's j“

j“ it's like you're in another world j“

j“ help me j“

j“ oh, baby, help me j“

- you all right there, Ken?

J“ lord, have mercy on me j“

- I'm okay.

- Shakes a bit, but it's not gonna collapse or anything.

See? We're almost half-way.

All righty?

Look who I've got!

- Nice view.

Well, uh, firstly, let me say that

you look very lovely in your dress.

And I've no doubt that you'd make some man a wonderful wife.

But the honest truth of the matter

is that I'm not the man for you.

No, you deserve better.

You truly do.

I've been married three times, as you know,

and divorced three times,

and I guess I've been hit over the head with heartache

enough times to have finally learnt my lesson.

You see, Vicki-Ann, I don't know what it is,

but there seems to be some kind of subtle flaw in my makeup,

which renders me unable to settle in one place.

Unable to give myself, completely, to one person.

And maybe I don't want to be this way,

because it's caused me a heck of a lot of pain

over the years, believe you me.

But it's just the way I am.

Do you follow?

- I think so.

- I don't know if I've ever shared with you

my thoughts about love, Vicki-Ann.

Because believe me, I want you to know I believe in love.

I believe this whole crazy, mixed-up world runs on love.

But, to me, love is not some abstract

concept of philosophers and songwriters.

No.

To me, love is like those birds.

See them circling overhead?

What's beautiful and special about them is their freedom.

Wouldn't you hate to see such magnificent creatures,

trapped in a gilded cage?

- I suppose.

- Well, that's how I feel about love.

In order to love somebody, first, you must set them free.

Now, I've set you free, Vicki-Ann, as I set dimity free.

Now all I ask is that you set me free.

-Well...

Looks like I certainly won't be getting married to him now.

You're not seriously going to tie that to him?

- Why not?

- It'll only attract attention to the body, that's why not.

A ruddy great balloon attached!

- It'll sink. The weight of the body will pull it down.

- I certainly hope so.

Anyway, surely a floral tribute

would've been more appropriate.

- You ready?

- Ready.

- "Go placidly amidst the noise and the haste

and remember what peace there may be in silence.

You are a child of the universe,

no less than the trees or the stars.

And whether or not it is clear to you,

no doubt the universe is unfolding like it should.

With all its sham, drudgery and boken, broken dreams,

it is still a beautiful world.

Be cheerful, strive to be happy."

- Amen.

Oh, well, that's that, then.

- Row, Vicki-Ann, row!

J“ coo, coo, I just want you j“

j“ I really love the things that you do j“

j“ come on and love a-me too j“

j“ won't you be my coo ca choo j“

j“ sweetness, I like your dress j“

j“ I love the way you know you're the best j“

j“ I'm in love and I'm in a mess j“

j“ I really want you, coo ca choo j“

j“ I love you, yes, I love you, yes, I love my coo ca j“

j“ I want you, yes, I want you, yes, I really do want you j“

j“ Tom cat, you know where it's at j“

j“ come on, let's go to my flat j“

j“ lay down and groove on the mat j“

j“ you can be my coo ca choo j“

j“ chains, chains, I'm all in chains j“

j“ your love will drive me insane j“

j“ come on, let's do it again j“

j“ I really want my coo ca choo j“

j“ I love you, yes, I love you, yes, I love my coo ca j“

j“ I want you, yes, I want you, yes, I really do want you j“

J“ I love you, yes, I love you, yes, I love my coo ca j“

j“ I want you, yes, I want you, yes, I really do want you j“

j“ night time's a lonely time j“

j“ when you're gone I'm starting to cry j“

j“ but you know that you're on my mind j“

j“ oh, honey, be my coo ca choo j“

j“ do, do, do, do you love me too j“

j“ will I smile or will I be blue j“

j“am I mad, I'm hung up on you j“

j“ oh, honey, be my coo ca choo j“

j“ so, honey, be my coo ca choo j“

j“ I love you, yes, I love you, yes, I love my coo ca j“

j“ I want you, yes, I want you, yes, I want my coo ca j“

j“ I love you, yes, I love you, yes, I love my coo ca j“

j“ I want you, yes, I want you, yes, I want my coo ca j“

j“ I need you, yes, I need you, yes, I need my coo ca j“

j“ I love you, yes, I love you, yes, I love my coo ca j“

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,

and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender,

be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly and listen to others.

Even the dull and ignorant.

They, too, have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons.

They are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others,

you may become vain and bitter,

for always there will be greater

and lesser persons than yourself.

J“ you are a child j“

You are a child of the universe,

no less than the trees and the stars.

You have a right to be here.

J“ and whether or not j“

And whether or not it is clear to you,

no doubt the universe is unfolding,

as it should.

J“ as it should j“