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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,000 Holy guacamole. 2 00:00:01,280 --> 00:00:02,280 It's hot. 3 00:00:04,140 --> 00:00:06,680 This is Hot Ones Versus. 4 00:00:06,880 --> 00:00:10,740 In front of these contestants is a stack of deeply personal questions. 5 00:00:10,960 --> 00:00:13,980 They can either tell the truth. There's so many cameras. 6 00:00:14,320 --> 00:00:18,780 Or suffer the wrath of the last stand. Worse, worse. Whoever eats the most 7 00:00:18,780 --> 00:00:19,780 loses. 8 00:00:35,230 --> 00:00:36,810 Dude, that's right for you. 9 00:00:40,250 --> 00:00:42,450 If this thing ain't rigged, I'm going to win. 10 00:00:43,630 --> 00:00:44,630 That's what I think. 11 00:00:44,850 --> 00:00:47,790 Just enjoy yourself. These are great people. You know what I mean? 12 00:00:48,210 --> 00:00:50,830 Just have, like I said, worse on the way out than the way in. 13 00:00:51,050 --> 00:00:53,630 Enjoy it, you know? It never ends. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 14 00:00:54,170 --> 00:00:55,370 It's going to be great. Yeah, great. 15 00:00:57,760 --> 00:01:02,460 Due to our work in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, you and I are often bombarded 16 00:01:02,460 --> 00:01:05,140 with questions about the blockbuster film franchise. 17 00:01:05,580 --> 00:01:10,180 Get the comic book talk out of the way by revealing one spoiler from the 18 00:01:10,180 --> 00:01:12,720 upcoming Avengers Doomsday. Oh, God. 19 00:01:13,120 --> 00:01:14,180 Just like, yeah. 20 00:01:14,460 --> 00:01:15,560 Let's go. Eat that. 21 00:01:17,560 --> 00:01:20,060 Let's go. Just eat it, bro. 22 00:01:20,480 --> 00:01:23,020 Yes! You see that bite? You see that? 23 00:01:23,530 --> 00:01:26,990 That's the pride of Massachusetts, right? Do you see that? He might go in 24 00:01:26,990 --> 00:01:28,070 another. No, that's not. 25 00:01:28,350 --> 00:01:28,809 That's it? 26 00:01:28,810 --> 00:01:32,710 Yeah. You good? Yeah, I'm good. I'm good. He's also like a chef. He bakes 27 00:01:32,770 --> 00:01:35,850 I had on the way over here some ragu. 28 00:01:36,370 --> 00:01:38,950 Short rib. A little short rib ragu I made for you. 29 00:01:39,290 --> 00:01:42,050 So, like, he, you know what I mean? I don't really eat spicy food. Yeah. 30 00:01:42,450 --> 00:01:45,270 I'm getting nervous. I got a question for you. Why are you shouting? Yeah, 31 00:01:45,270 --> 00:01:46,270 you're right. Why are you shouting? 32 00:01:46,490 --> 00:01:49,450 I'm right here. You got a mic there? You got a mic there? Oh, man, I'm so 33 00:01:49,450 --> 00:01:51,170 fucked. Just bring it down. All right, let's go. 34 00:01:51,370 --> 00:01:54,710 Just be here together. It's old trauma from last time, bro. I'm just going to 35 00:01:54,710 --> 00:01:55,509 one leg circle. 36 00:01:55,510 --> 00:01:56,510 Yeah, yeah. Woo! 37 00:01:57,710 --> 00:02:00,670 You and I are currently starring in Dog Day Afternoon on Broadway. 38 00:02:00,950 --> 00:02:05,070 Having now worked together across multiple projects, give me three pieces 39 00:02:05,070 --> 00:02:06,790 brutal feedback as a scene partner. 40 00:02:08,949 --> 00:02:12,330 Come on, be honest. I don't know, man. I love you. I love working with you, man. 41 00:02:12,650 --> 00:02:17,750 I really, I only have love for, I cannot think, when people are shitty, he is 42 00:02:17,750 --> 00:02:22,290 the best guy. When things are great, he is so much, you have so much joy. 43 00:02:22,670 --> 00:02:23,830 Do you remember the first time you met? 44 00:02:24,280 --> 00:02:25,960 Yeah. John does. I don't. 45 00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:30,440 Yeah. I understudied him in an off -Broadway play called The Fifth of July. 46 00:02:30,780 --> 00:02:35,620 Yeah. Every night I got the pleasure of watching him up there. It was beautiful. 47 00:02:35,960 --> 00:02:36,819 How many shows? 48 00:02:36,820 --> 00:02:38,000 105 shows or something. 49 00:02:38,420 --> 00:02:41,680 And I never went on once. Understudying is a hard job. I wasn't understudied. 50 00:02:41,840 --> 00:02:42,840 It's hard. 51 00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:47,080 You have to be ready to go on, but it's not really your part, but you need to 52 00:02:47,080 --> 00:02:48,340 feel like you own it. Yep. 53 00:02:49,020 --> 00:02:51,760 So does that mean I got to eat it? Hold on. Brutal feedback. 54 00:02:52,280 --> 00:02:53,320 I don't know, man. 55 00:02:53,680 --> 00:02:56,520 You couldn't, yeah. Yeah, I don't have it. I really don't have anything. Love 56 00:02:56,520 --> 00:02:58,760 trumps the day. You got to go in. All right, let's go. 57 00:02:59,140 --> 00:03:00,140 Love wins. 58 00:03:01,260 --> 00:03:02,260 So now we're tied. 59 00:03:02,420 --> 00:03:05,660 Oh, man, that's fucking hot, man. It's right up there, Joe. Think it's rigged? 60 00:03:05,740 --> 00:03:06,760 Holy guacamole. 61 00:03:07,840 --> 00:03:08,900 Fuck. Ah, 62 00:03:10,220 --> 00:03:11,220 shit. 63 00:03:13,780 --> 00:03:15,380 You're good. Yeah, let's go. 64 00:03:15,780 --> 00:03:16,840 Tie game right now. 65 00:03:17,700 --> 00:03:19,200 All right, this is a wild card. 66 00:03:21,580 --> 00:03:25,080 Enunciation is one of the most important skills for an actor to master. We will 67 00:03:25,080 --> 00:03:29,060 now take turns reading tongue twisters out loud. First one to stumble must eat 68 00:03:29,060 --> 00:03:30,060 death wing. 69 00:03:31,540 --> 00:03:34,360 Lesser leather never weathered wetter weather better. 70 00:03:35,260 --> 00:03:37,680 How can a clam cram in a clean cream cram? 71 00:03:38,700 --> 00:03:41,380 Oh, that was... No, right? No. 72 00:03:41,640 --> 00:03:42,640 Oh, thank God. 73 00:03:44,660 --> 00:03:46,480 Boom, that's hot. Don't you think that's hot? 74 00:03:46,820 --> 00:03:47,719 Yeah, it's hot. 75 00:03:47,720 --> 00:03:50,180 That second bite was way smaller than your... 76 00:03:50,460 --> 00:03:51,460 First bite. Yeah? 77 00:03:51,480 --> 00:03:52,480 Yeah, you're right. 78 00:03:54,020 --> 00:03:55,020 Okay. 79 00:03:55,460 --> 00:03:58,120 Okay. Yep. I'm going to blow my nose with my napkin. 80 00:03:58,420 --> 00:04:03,280 Every year, my New Year's resolution is to stop doing this, but here we go 81 00:04:03,280 --> 00:04:04,280 again. 82 00:04:05,540 --> 00:04:11,500 Our new play, Dog Day Afternoon, is based on a classic Al Pacino film. 83 00:04:12,380 --> 00:04:15,520 Let's see how well you know the Oscar winner's filmography. I will read plot 84 00:04:15,520 --> 00:04:19,240 descriptions from the back of VHS boxes, and you're going to tell me which movie 85 00:04:19,240 --> 00:04:20,240 it's describing. 86 00:04:20,540 --> 00:04:22,100 Myth 1 and Eda Deathwing. 87 00:04:22,320 --> 00:04:23,320 Well, look at this. 88 00:04:23,440 --> 00:04:27,240 That's really one question. Like, why is there five things? You know what I 89 00:04:27,240 --> 00:04:28,240 mean? But let's keep going. 90 00:04:28,600 --> 00:04:32,080 Many of his fellow officers considered him the most dangerous man alive, an 91 00:04:32,080 --> 00:04:33,080 honest cop. 92 00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:34,760 Serpico. Correct. 93 00:04:35,450 --> 00:04:36,450 Holy heck, yeah. 94 00:04:36,810 --> 00:04:41,690 I saw a 35mm print of Serpico a couple years ago. Good, beautiful reds. It's a 95 00:04:41,690 --> 00:04:42,970 beautiful boat. It was so great. 96 00:04:43,230 --> 00:04:47,310 A hotshot attorney receives a tempting offer from an elite New York law firm. 97 00:04:48,090 --> 00:04:49,550 But the job isn't what it seems. 98 00:04:51,010 --> 00:04:52,010 The devil's own? 99 00:04:54,470 --> 00:04:55,470 Motherfucker. 100 00:04:55,770 --> 00:04:56,770 Devil's advocate. 101 00:04:57,410 --> 00:05:01,070 There was no grace extended to me on my little clam can fumble. 102 00:05:01,370 --> 00:05:03,350 Want to keep going for fun or not? Yeah, one more. 103 00:05:03,710 --> 00:05:04,710 I mean, why? But sure. 104 00:05:05,410 --> 00:05:10,010 A former drug kingpin has sprung from jail and stuns the local underworld when 105 00:05:10,010 --> 00:05:11,090 he vows to go straight. 106 00:05:11,790 --> 00:05:12,790 Carlito's way. 107 00:05:13,510 --> 00:05:14,510 Carlito's way. Look at that. 108 00:05:14,670 --> 00:05:15,670 Holy shit. 109 00:05:16,990 --> 00:05:17,990 Holy shit. 110 00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:26,000 We have both won Emmys for our work on the critically acclaimed series The 111 00:05:26,180 --> 00:05:30,560 You must now prove your industry knowledge in a round of restaurant 112 00:05:30,920 --> 00:05:34,940 Fail to properly define one of the, you're going to get this, one of these 113 00:05:34,940 --> 00:05:36,680 of house terms and need a death wing. 114 00:05:36,940 --> 00:05:38,780 Okay. I don't know that I'm going to get this. 115 00:05:39,120 --> 00:05:40,340 Something is out of stock. 116 00:05:40,760 --> 00:05:44,620 Oh, you're going to say the first part? Oh, I'm such a dipshit. 86. I'm such a 117 00:05:44,620 --> 00:05:46,320 dipshit. 86. In the weeds. 118 00:05:48,040 --> 00:05:49,040 Let's go. 119 00:05:49,150 --> 00:05:52,290 In the weeds. That means that we're, like, overwhelmed. 120 00:05:52,690 --> 00:05:54,450 We're getting buried by order. 121 00:05:54,850 --> 00:05:55,930 He's fucking good. 122 00:05:56,970 --> 00:05:57,970 Drop on top. 123 00:05:58,450 --> 00:05:59,490 Drop on top. 124 00:06:00,450 --> 00:06:04,970 See, I'm in, like, dog day afternoon mode. I'm not in. I'm not really in. I 125 00:06:04,970 --> 00:06:08,850 think you can think your way through this one. Drop on top. Just, like, put 126 00:06:08,850 --> 00:06:09,850 down on the table? 127 00:06:10,230 --> 00:06:11,350 No. All right. 128 00:06:16,630 --> 00:06:17,630 How you doing? 129 00:06:17,710 --> 00:06:18,710 I'm good. 130 00:06:18,859 --> 00:06:22,460 We talked for too long and my mouth cooled down and now it's just like... 131 00:06:22,480 --> 00:06:23,480 is that worse or better? 132 00:06:23,520 --> 00:06:24,520 Worse, worse. Yeah. 133 00:06:25,780 --> 00:06:28,440 Show us your favorite go -go dance move. 134 00:06:28,900 --> 00:06:30,520 Shut up, you fucking asshole. 135 00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:32,000 Shut up. 136 00:06:32,280 --> 00:06:35,620 You've worked alongside some of the biggest ass kickers in Hollywood. 137 00:06:35,940 --> 00:06:39,580 Reveal one action movie tough guy who's all bark and no bite. 138 00:06:40,760 --> 00:06:41,920 I like this one. 139 00:06:42,460 --> 00:06:44,780 Shit. Who's all bark and no bite. 140 00:06:48,880 --> 00:06:50,280 There's so many that I know. 141 00:06:52,320 --> 00:06:53,900 Ah, fuck, man. 142 00:06:54,120 --> 00:06:58,180 We could say it like this. Who do you like? And then we'll say everybody else 143 00:06:58,180 --> 00:06:59,440 that you're not mentioning is lightweight. 144 00:07:04,920 --> 00:07:10,060 I've had the honest conversation with John so many times. So many cameras. 145 00:07:12,060 --> 00:07:16,340 The pressure of that made me forget how horrible that fucking thing is. 146 00:07:17,100 --> 00:07:18,100 Holy shit, okay. 147 00:07:20,720 --> 00:07:21,840 Okay, okay, okay. 148 00:07:23,700 --> 00:07:28,180 You recently caused headlines for your aggressively antsy napping stance. 149 00:07:28,540 --> 00:07:30,220 Bro, it's slow news day. 150 00:07:31,930 --> 00:07:36,390 Look into the camera and apologize for offending all the nappers of the world. 151 00:07:36,390 --> 00:07:40,090 am really sorry about that. And honestly, that got away from me. I got 152 00:07:40,090 --> 00:07:44,870 against you if you nap. I have zero, nothing. Like, bless you. I wish I, I 153 00:07:44,870 --> 00:07:51,570 don't really do that. And I don't really have time for it. And I feel like for, 154 00:07:51,630 --> 00:07:54,230 I feel like you probably, I'm sorry. 155 00:07:54,450 --> 00:07:58,250 I feel like you probably do have something better to do than nap. But I'm 156 00:07:58,550 --> 00:08:00,870 And I don't hold it against you at all. 157 00:08:01,370 --> 00:08:05,210 And I will tell you right now that I'm going to catch John napping sometime in 158 00:08:05,210 --> 00:08:08,790 the next few months. And I'm going to film it, and it's where we're going to 159 00:08:08,930 --> 00:08:09,609 Won't happen. 160 00:08:09,610 --> 00:08:13,230 I like to nap. Yeah, I wish I could nap more than I can. 161 00:08:13,590 --> 00:08:15,510 I'm all right, though. It's tied, dude. Yeah. 162 00:08:16,330 --> 00:08:17,330 All right, let's go. 163 00:08:18,370 --> 00:08:19,370 Oh, me. Okay. 164 00:08:19,850 --> 00:08:24,610 It's tradition around here to put a little extra on the last wing. 165 00:08:25,030 --> 00:08:27,990 You and your opponent can add an extra dab to your final wings now. 166 00:08:28,370 --> 00:08:29,370 How do you want to do it? 167 00:08:29,810 --> 00:08:32,630 Yeah, hook me up. Which one do you want? This one? 168 00:08:33,590 --> 00:08:34,590 Yeah, sure. 169 00:08:34,809 --> 00:08:35,809 That's good. 170 00:08:36,450 --> 00:08:37,690 It's not charitable. 171 00:08:39,530 --> 00:08:40,329 Which one? 172 00:08:40,330 --> 00:08:41,330 I don't give a fuck, bro. 173 00:08:42,890 --> 00:08:43,890 Oh, my God. 174 00:08:45,670 --> 00:08:49,770 We both have a knack for incorporating improvisation in our work. For our final 175 00:08:49,770 --> 00:08:53,510 challenge, the two of us must work together to improvise the dramatic 176 00:08:53,610 --> 00:08:57,630 However, each line of dialogue must begin with the next letter in the 177 00:08:57,790 --> 00:08:59,510 starting with A. Oh, this is stupid. 178 00:09:00,170 --> 00:09:04,750 If we fail to make it through the entire scene without stripping up, then we 179 00:09:04,750 --> 00:09:07,850 must eat a death ring. If we fail to make it through the entire scene, what, 180 00:09:07,950 --> 00:09:10,990 you'd like to Z? A to Z? A to Z. Stand up real quick. 181 00:09:18,820 --> 00:09:22,700 Around what time was it that you met her? 182 00:09:23,020 --> 00:09:26,700 Before we get into any of that stuff, I just think that there's been a long 183 00:09:26,700 --> 00:09:30,340 history of both of us being really, you know, unfulfilled. 184 00:09:30,620 --> 00:09:36,560 Catching you with her... Don't, don't. ...killed me. Even though you say you 185 00:09:36,560 --> 00:09:41,740 still love me, I don't know how you could possibly love both of us. For me, 186 00:09:41,740 --> 00:09:43,180 love you, but... 187 00:09:43,520 --> 00:09:47,640 I love you in a different way than when we initially met. Great. That's fucking 188 00:09:47,640 --> 00:09:52,680 great. How do you want me to... I don't know how this is supposed to go. 189 00:09:52,880 --> 00:09:58,120 I really feel like you didn't even appreciate me when we were married. Just 190 00:09:58,120 --> 00:10:02,420 because I was making love to another woman? Keep the bullshit up, 191 00:10:02,700 --> 00:10:06,320 Let's go. See, here we go. Now the honesty. We're getting to the real heart 192 00:10:06,320 --> 00:10:07,800 it. My fucking heart is breaking. 193 00:10:08,160 --> 00:10:09,160 No, it's not. 194 00:10:09,360 --> 00:10:10,360 Over it! 195 00:10:11,520 --> 00:10:12,520 Please. 196 00:10:13,589 --> 00:10:16,930 Queerness. That's what I'm really feeling. Queerness. 197 00:10:17,490 --> 00:10:21,510 Right now, like, when I look at you, I don't even recognize the person that I'm 198 00:10:21,510 --> 00:10:23,130 seeing. You've changed so much. 199 00:10:23,570 --> 00:10:24,630 Shut the fuck up. 200 00:10:24,970 --> 00:10:29,810 Time and time again, you told me to shut the fuck up, and you're like a broken 201 00:10:29,810 --> 00:10:30,810 record. 202 00:10:31,170 --> 00:10:33,110 Unions are supposed to be based on trust! 203 00:10:37,890 --> 00:10:38,910 Very much so. 204 00:10:39,470 --> 00:10:41,250 Why? Oh, why? 205 00:10:42,290 --> 00:10:43,970 Are you so frustrating? 206 00:10:46,930 --> 00:10:47,930 Xenophobia. 207 00:10:48,430 --> 00:10:53,070 Like, I'm just, like, mistrustful of all kinds of different people, and I'm 208 00:10:53,070 --> 00:10:54,070 putting up boundaries. 209 00:10:54,090 --> 00:10:56,730 You just aren't the man that you promised me you'd be. 210 00:10:58,230 --> 00:10:59,710 Zounds. You got that right. 211 00:11:00,810 --> 00:11:02,290 Look at that. Look at that. 212 00:11:02,930 --> 00:11:05,230 Woo! Yo, that shit was easy, bro. 213 00:11:05,970 --> 00:11:07,210 Let's go backwards. Let's go backwards. 214 00:11:08,390 --> 00:11:11,670 I'll eat it with you both. Yeah, let's go. That's a double win? We both won. 215 00:11:11,960 --> 00:11:14,480 Oh, man, I'm so happy, Bob. Come here, you. 216 00:11:14,700 --> 00:11:15,639 I'm so happy. 217 00:11:15,640 --> 00:11:18,880 Oh, we're the best. Yeah, I'm straight, dude. Yeah. 218 00:11:19,700 --> 00:11:20,700 There we go. 219 00:11:21,880 --> 00:11:24,320 Are these the gluten -free ones? Those are the gluten -free ones. Those are 220 00:11:24,320 --> 00:11:25,640 myself. These ones? Yeah. 221 00:11:26,880 --> 00:11:27,859 Cheers, buddy. 222 00:11:27,860 --> 00:11:30,360 Cheers, buddy. I've got to get this little actual walk around there. 223 00:11:33,200 --> 00:11:34,260 The wings are great, huh? 224 00:11:35,500 --> 00:11:39,220 You guys are going to have to do better, man. I'm telling you, this is a little 225 00:11:39,220 --> 00:11:40,220 bit of a letdown. 226 00:11:45,290 --> 00:11:48,890 Congratulations, Paul. Thanks, John. It was a pleasure. I enjoyed that. 227 00:11:49,210 --> 00:11:52,070 It's always a pleasure to hang out with John. Good stories, a couple laughs. 228 00:11:52,470 --> 00:11:54,090 I'm glad that we tied. 229 00:11:54,450 --> 00:11:57,930 He's a fiercely competitive person, me less so. 230 00:11:58,230 --> 00:12:00,830 But when I saw this trophy, I wanted to take it home. 231 00:12:01,110 --> 00:12:05,010 I'm glad to be here with all of you, glad to be here with the artist formerly 232 00:12:05,010 --> 00:12:06,010 known as Evan. 233 00:12:06,170 --> 00:12:11,130 And we're going to be in Dog Day Afternoon on Broadway at the August 234 00:12:11,910 --> 00:12:16,550 I genuinely love him. I've worked with him more than anyone else. I love his 235 00:12:16,550 --> 00:12:20,110 family. I know there's, like, you try to be funny on this. I don't have anything 236 00:12:20,110 --> 00:12:24,430 funny to say. I really love Eben, and he's a great artist, but he's even a 237 00:12:24,430 --> 00:12:25,430 better guy. 238 00:12:25,450 --> 00:12:28,370 People have turned off this video. Yeah, they're not using that. 239 00:12:28,630 --> 00:12:30,030 They're not using that, bro. 240 00:12:30,370 --> 00:12:31,370 Don't worry about it. 241 00:12:31,850 --> 00:12:34,550 One more time. Thank you, guys. 242 00:12:35,470 --> 00:12:38,630 People don't think this is hot, bro. I don't know. Maybe we have different 243 00:12:38,970 --> 00:12:39,970 Holy shit. 244 00:12:40,170 --> 00:12:43,770 Mary's going to be so psyched when I bring this home. She's going to be so 245 00:12:43,770 --> 00:12:44,770 up. Good. 246 00:12:45,270 --> 00:12:46,270 Why are you shouting? 247 00:12:47,510 --> 00:12:49,790 Hey, what's going on, Hot Ones fans? 248 00:12:50,010 --> 00:12:53,610 You know you can catch me every Thursday interviewing celebrities over the wings 249 00:12:53,610 --> 00:12:57,650 of death. But if you're looking for a little more Scoville -laced action, tune 250 00:12:57,650 --> 00:13:01,770 in Tuesdays for Hot Ones Versus. It's the show where celebrities go head -to 251 00:13:01,770 --> 00:13:05,670 -head. They either tell the truth or suffer the wrath of the last dab. 252 00:13:05,910 --> 00:13:08,250 So tune in Tuesdays for a front -row seat. 253 00:13:08,600 --> 00:13:12,100 to the fiery fights and celebrity clashes. That's Hot Ones vs. 254 00:13:12,880 --> 00:13:15,720 Tuesday on First Week Beat. Don't miss it. 20017

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