All language subtitles for Frasier S10E03 Proxy Prexy-eng

A hell of a breakfast, Daph.
I'm stuffed.

Thanks. Now come on,
let's do some exercise
s.

And risk a cramp?

What kind of training
did you get?

FRASIER:
Good morning.

Hey, Fras.
Morning.

Want some breakfast?

Oh, uh, no, thanks.

Coffee will be fine.

Hi, Daph, uh, listen,

I could use
an objective opinion.

I am running for
condo board president.

I want to know what you think
of this as a slogan:

"Frasier Crane:
the People's Elixir."

Okay, I'm ready
for my exercises now.

Please, Dad, this is serious.

I have a feeling
this could be my year.

Don't you say that every year?

Yes, I do, but this year

I'm the only one running
against the incumbent,

which means the people
will rally

their inchoate yearnings
for change behind my banner.

Well, you're full
of catchy slogans.

Frasier, don't
get

your hopes up too high.

I mean, name one person
on the condo board

you haven't ticked off
at least once.

That's just because
I have a type-A,

hands-on, get-it-done
personality.

Seriously, name one.

You know, Frase, you might be

the best man for the job,
but a friendly smile

and a "How do you do?"
in the hallway

goes a lot further than being
"the People's Laxative."

Elixir.

Well, I suppose
you're right.

I haven't really established
myself as the neighborly sort.

I thought that my term

as fire safety captain
might do the trick,

but... I guess I drilled them
once too often.

Maybe you could give him lessons
on how to be a normal person.

I beg your pardon?

Say, I've got an idea.

Dad, why don't you just run?

Why would I want to do that?

Well, because then the people
would get their regular guy

but he would have
my political agenda.

,
I get it.
Your father's the figurehead

like Woodrow Wilson
when he had that stroke

and his wife secretly
acted as president.

Yes, exactly.

But, of course, Dad would
be conscious, presumably.

(laughs)

How did you
know about that?

I'm studying for
my citizenship exam.

It's about time I became
an American like everyone else.

y.
If you were like everyone else,
you wouldn't know any histor

So, Dad, what do you think?

.
I don't know...
sounds like a big pain

Oh, come on, Dad.

Think of the neighbors.

Think of the building,
the good we could do together.

We can actually achieve

the dream
of luxury apartment living

that our founders intended.

.
Plus, I'll do all the work

I'll tell you something
I always thought we needed:

d.
wider parking spaces
so the doors don't get dinge

All right,
you do this for me

?
I'll make sure
that gets done.
Really

Absolutely... Mr. President.

I like the sound of that.

(both laughing)

Now, I think I should
still run against you.

Why?

Well, if I drop out just as you
announce your candidacy,

people might suspect
something's up.

It's better that our
political legerdemain

remain sub rosa, hmm?

How would a normal person
say that, Dad?

No one needs to know
how the hot dogs are made.

This is going to be sweet.

Which brings me to
my final opponent...

Martin Crane.

Now, we're all well aware

that he is a
decorated war hero

and a much-honored police officer,

but does he have the
building's interests at heart?

Maybe.

I simply ask that you

stack up his 45
years of experience

against my term
as fire safety captain.

Thank you...

and God Bless Elliot Bay Towers.

(light applause)

And now we'll hear
from Martin Crane.

(cheering and applause)

(chuckling)

Uh, thanks,
I'm Marty Crane.

Uh, I just want to say
that it's a privilege to run

and, uh, I'll try to do
the best I can.

Thank you, and... go Seahawks!

(applause)

PAUL:
Here's where we'd hear from our third candidate

current president Jim McIntyre,
but, uh...

last night he informed me that
we was giving up condo board

in order to pursue his dream

of teaching English
as a second language.

Dream? Or court-ordered community service?

So, I guess it's time to vote.

Well, I wish
we would have known

that guy
wasn't going to run.

I wouldn't have had
to spend all night

working on my speech.

Yes... plus, I would
automatically be
president now.

Yeah. Even you couldn't lose
a one-man election.

8.
Hmm? You're forgetting 199

Oh, yeah, when you lost
to the dead guy.

He wasn't dead, he was in a coma.

How was I supposed
to compete with that?

Okay, ladies and gentlemen,
we have winner

in a surprisingly

close vote of 15 to two.

Our new president
is Martin Crane.

Yes!

I got two votes.

Bye-bye.

Oh... what a great massage.

It's too bad her English
wasn't better.

She could have told
us some of her secrets.

Yes, but now we know that Urdu

is the official language
of heaven.

I could go for a snack.

Want some pâât￩?

No, thanks

Some cheese?

No.

Pâât￩?

Again, no.

How about a salad?

Or a fruit salad?

Ooh, I could throw together
a little m￩lange.

(doorbell rings)

I'll get it.

A m￩lange sounds lovely.

Roz, I thought you were going out

with that man from your gym.

We didn't even make it
to dinner.

Here's your never-fail
date purse back.

Oh, I'm sorry.

No, come on in

Are you sure?

You look like
you're going to bed.

No, we just
got a massage.

Come in.

Oh, boy a massage
sounds wonderful.

She did the most incredible
thing to my neck.

Here, let me show you.

Oh...

Mm-hmm.

So, how could you tell

your date wasn't meant to be?

He had the same purse.

Wow, that feels so good.

Mm-hmm

Ooh, hi, Roz.

Hi.

Poor thing had a bad date.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Well, now that Daphne's helping you relax,

you want to join us
in a little m￩lange?

What?

You'll love it.

Niles is amazing.

Wait, what are you saying?

Unless you have
other plans.

Well... I guess not, but...

Great.

Then here you go.

Oh... fruit salad.

Oh, my God.

I thought you said "m￩nage."

(laughing)

Well, the fruits
do mix a little
promiscuously.

ROZ:
I mean, I was thinking

"Oh, my God,
what are they saying?"

Rest assured we would have offered you

something more
than fruit salad

to get you
in the mood.

You know what?

She didn't say "no."

You're right, she didn't.

It was only because it was so
weird I didn't know what to say.

Is that why?

I think someone
has a little crush on us.

You wish.

We know what you wish.

Okay, okay, forget it.

Let's talk about something else.

What are you guys going to do
this weekend?

You, if you get your way.

(laughing)

So, if we had have asked you
you would have said "no"?

Of course I would have.

I see. And what's wrong
with us?

Do you find us
unattractive?

What if we wore masks?

Oh, that'd have to be
Nixon and Frankenstein.

That's all we've got.
All right, you guys!

Stop it.

I'm sorry I didn't understand

your little code word
for fruit salad.

DAPHNE:
We're sorry.

Here you haven't even had dinner
and we're teasing you.

Oh, you haven't?
I didn't know that.

Let me make
you something.

No, it's okay.
I'm not that hungry.

Oh, come on.

Well, all right,
I wouldn't say no to a sandwich.

(both laughing)

Yes, he's doing
a hell of a job, isn't he?

Oh, listen,
what did you think

of the new plants
in the lobby?

Dad was particularly pleased

with how they complemented
the filigree in the sconces.

Don't tell people that.

Yes, I suppose
the best man did win.

Bye-bye.

Another satisfied
constituent.

(doorbell rings)
Well, whoop-de-do.

Hello.

Frasier. Hey, Marty...

Hey, Paul.

I just came down
to congratulate you.

Every president talks about
getting new dryers

but you finally
did something about it.

You see, Dad, they love what
you're doing for the building.

Of course, the sting of losing
was quite painful,

but it's worth it
if we can have a laundry room

that can take us
into the 21st century.

You're being a good sport
about this, Frasier.

Well, you know, public-
spiritedness is the Crane code.

Right on.

Uh, Paul, could you, uh.

Oh, sure.

Hey, is it okay if I move
the recycling bins

down to the landing
at the bottom of the stairs?

Knock yourself out.

Great. Thanks.

Is this going to be a problem?

What?

I think we need to reach
a little understanding.

Now, if someone asks you
a question,

you look at me.

If I scratch my nose...

...it means "no."

You get it?

They both begin with the same
two letters-- N-O.

Now, if I

touch my eye...

it means "aye," as in "yes."

Guess what you're being
if I touch my ass.

Dad...

I think I can at least

take care of the no-brainer decisions myself.

That is not how
this is supposed to work.

Well, I thought how this
was supposed to work

was that if I agreed to do this

you'd do the one thing
I asked for.

Yes, wider parking spaces.

But I have five years of ideas
here to implement first.

Five years?!

By the time
I get my parking space

I'll be driving
a three-wheeled scooter

with an oxygen tank on the back.

Look, even if I could
fast-track it,

there are feasibility studies
to be done.

There's a committee review and
there's a bidding process.

You can't just hire some guy with a can of paint.

That's what I'd do.

Well, that is why
you're not in charge.

Now...

here's your agenda
for the next meeting.

Make sure that you follow it
to the letter.

Yes, master.

Dad, I sense you

chafing under the cruel yoke
of public service.

Remember, we must subordinate
our own wishes

for the good of the building.

And that is not one
of our hand signals.

Next item, a study

to determine the
feasibility of putting

something on the roof.

Any volunteers?

I volunteer,
and I would like to explore

the idea of putting
a patio on the roof.

All right. Well, that
about wraps things up.

Uh, query.

Recognized.

Wasn't there something else
you wanted to bring up?

No. Don't think so.

Are you sure?

I-I could have sworn
I heard the president

say something
about a new ventilation system.

Oh, we've done enough
for tonight.

No, you haven't!

I'm certain that if you
simply consult the agenda

which you
so painstakingly prepared,

you will find that there is
one last item.

Oh, yeah.

Here it is

Wider parking spaces.

MAN:
Oh, that's good.

Real good.
Great idea.

Classic Marty.

No. Wider.

Those in favor
of better parking?

Aye.
Aye.
Aye.

Opposed to better parking?

Nay!
Motion carries.

Query!
Not recognized.

Marty, I'm afraid
I have to interrupt.

There's a delivery for you.

Bring it in, Mrs. Richman.

Here we go.

Whoa. A cake.

What's the occasion?

We wanted to show you
our appreciation

for all the great things
you've done for us.

.
Wow! I never thought
I'd see myself in frosting

In the last couple
of weeks,

you've done more
for this building

than the last
two presidents combined.

Where did you get
all these great ideas?

Oh, I don't know.

They just come to me

while I'm trying to watch TV

Why don't you
make yourself useful

and cut the cake, Frasier?

My pleasure, Mr. President.

Advertise your product or brand here
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Hello.

Oh, don't be sore.

I'll get to the ventilation system eventually.

You went back
on our agreement.

I'm the one who's suppos
to call the shots around here.

Our agreement was that I'd get wider parking spaces

but you blew me off.

As far as I'm concerned

the agreement is over.

Besides, I think
I have a knack

for this president thing.

Now, I'd like to keep you

on my team,
but if it's too rough for you

just say the word.

Well, well, well.

The puppet thinks
he's a real boy.

I don't think you have
the skills for this job.

I have something better--
people skills.

So do I, but
these boobs and nincompoops

are too stupid to see it!

Well, if you're so sure you're indispensable

maybe you should
run for president.

Oh, wait. You did. Five times.

They wouldn't
love you so much

if it weren't
for my ideas!

Right, because you need a PhD

to think about repainting
the lobby.

Oh, wait. You don't.

Would you stop doing that?

You're right.

It's not an effective
way to argue.

Oh, wait. It is.

DAPHNE:
Don't you just love this part of American history?

I'm not much
of a Civil War buff.

Really? It's fascinating--

much more so than
the English Civil War.

Impossible.

Didn't you want to be there when Charles I

unfurled his standard
at Nottingham in 1642?

Ugh. You sound like school.

We'll let Frasier settle it.

Which civil war
was more interesting?

Spanish!

But I don't
have time to prove it.

I've got to go
confront Evita Peron

at the condo board
meeting tonight.

Dad?
Yes.

I thought he
was doing a good job.

Well, he was--

until he started
to think for himself.

He's so damn popular

everybody else just follows along.

It's like the blind leading the blind.

Well...
But it will not stand!

As soon as he calls
for new business tonight

I am going to leap to my feet
and expose him

for the power-mad dictator
that he's become.

Mm. Mmm, mm, mm.

Then I'll take over.

Maybe you should
take it easy on your father.

Why?!

Because he's getting out more,

having fun with other
people in the building.

You can't take that
away from him.

You get to be a big shot
all the time.

This is Dad's turn
in the limelight.

It's good for his self-esteem.

I don't know why
I even talk to you people.

Frasier.
Not now!

Okay!

Hi. Can I join you guys?

Oh.

I think someone is
coming on to us.

Someone just can't
leave us alone.

Ok

You guys have been doing this
for over two weeks.

Lay off.

I thought laying off

was exactly what you didn't
want us to do.

That's a good one.

Doesn't even make sense.

Listen,

I don't want to have
a threesome with you.

I never wanted
to have a threesome with you,

and I will not have
a threesome with you!

So quit bringing it up!

I think we went
a little too far.

Not as far as she wanted to go.

(both giggling)

Excuse me. Yes.

I'm sorry, I couldn't help overhearing

and as a fellow
nontraditional sex enthusiast--

our day will come.

Here's my card.

Thank you.

Oh, and by the way,
a bunch of us get together

over at the SeaTac Hyatt
second Saturday of every month,

and if you want
to just tape your wife

with another dude, that's cool

Thank you, Mrs. Richman.

And for anyone
who needs reminding

these meetings start
at 8:00, not 8:07.

Noted.

Well, shall we open the floor up to new business?

Yes! Yes! Yes!

It's time you people
understood the real kind of...

Hold it, Crane.

I got real
business here.

Can you tell us when
we're going to be able to get

our cars back
into the parking garage?

Oh, yeah.

The lines should get

their second coat tomorrow,
and if it doesn't rain

it should be dry
by the end of the week.

Uh-huh, and in the meantime we
have to park out on the street.

Well, I know it's
a little inconvenient.

Inconvenient?!

I got a ticket!

Yeah. My wife got towed.

But after it's done,
we'll have wider parking spaces.

If you make them wider

aren't we going
to lose some spaces?

Where are those people
supposed to go?

Um, well, uh, maybe
we could take turns.

Take turns?!
Take turns?!

Does everybody here
need their car?

Of course we
need a car.

Have you got a copy of
the feasibility report?

Yeah, feasibility report.

Uh, yes, the, uh...
feasibility report.

You only have one piece
of paper there.

How long will it take

before we get them
painted back the right way?

And who's going to pay

I had to lug my groceries

three blocks!

Look, I'm sorry...

What? Did you
just hire a guy

with a can of paint?

No.

People, people!

If you just let him talk,
he could explain.

My father is currently
in negotiations

with a salvage company
to remove the old boiler room,

which would give us
the extra spaces we need.

Where are we going
to park in the meantime?

My father has already discussed
with the building next door

sharing their parking spaces.

Isn't that right, Dad?

Uh... Yeah. Right.

We should have
had more faith in you.

You've had a lot
of good ideas so far.

Well, actually, I've got
something to tell you

about those good ideas.

Dad.

All that
good stuff...

all the stuff
you were crazy about...

it all came from Frasier.

From the very beginning,

he's been the one
running things,

and I think we should
give him a little credit.

Well, thank you, Dad,
that's very kind of you.

In fact, uh...

having me run
was Frasier's idea.

He figured that

he figured that you'd go for his policies

if they came from somebody else.

So this whole thing was a scam.

Well, I wouldn't call it a scam.

It was just a fake-out

Frasier, how could you
do your father like this?

He's always wanted to be president,

but I never thought
he would stoop this low

All right, that's enough!

My son is the best thing

that ever happened
to this condo board,

but you guys
are too petty to see it.

Well, you people don't deserve him

and if you don't want
him, you don't get me either.

I resign.

Come on, Fras.

Right behind you, Dad.

Now what do we do?

Well, technically,
when the president resigns

the runner
-up takes power.

That's right, isn't it?

Well.

It's not the way I would hav
liked it, but bylaws are bylaws.

So, as your president

I would like to quote a man

who understands
the language of the people.

♪♪ Hey, baby,
I hear the blues a-calling ♪
♪

♪♪ Tossed salads
and scrambled eggs ♪♪

♪♪ Quite stylish ♪♪

♪♪ And maybe I seem
a bit confused ♪♪

♪♪ Well, maybe,
but I got you pegged ♪♪

(laughs)

♪♪ But I don'’’t know what to do
♪♪

♪♪ With those tossed salad
s and scrambled eggs ♪♪

♪♪ They'’’re calling again
. ♪♪

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