Original subtitles

Fucking shit.

What the hell am I going to do this time?

It always falls on me.

No one else ever has an idea.

No one else ever comes up with something.

Damn it to hell, I hate this creative bullshit.

Wish I was a clerk somewhere and worked nine to five.

And after five, no worries.

Take home my paycheck every week.

No deadlines.

No expectations.

Sunday.

of sorrow has taken you angels

have no

It's worse than I thought.

If you keep listening to music like that, of course you're going to reflect

mood. You have to listen to something up, something livelier.

Don't I get any privacy around here?

Well, you know, if you masturbate in the living room, you're not going to have

any privacy, darling.

Let me tell you what happened to me on the way home.

How could you possibly tell me that could interest me now?

You've got to listen to this.

I got stopped by a speed cop.

I didn't know it was a woman. She came up, and there's this beautiful,

fabulous, blonde bombshell leaning over.

I'm looking out the window, and she's leaning over and giving me a ticket,

saying how I was going 75 in a 55 -mile zone, you know,

with the sunglasses and all, and squeezing out of her

shirt.

Like, they wanted to pop off a shirt.

It was great.

I couldn't believe it. She was telling me about the transgressions of the law,

you know, how it transgressed the law.

It was such sweet punishment.

I couldn't believe it.

I mean, I wish I had done something more than speed. I wish I would have tried

to get away from her.

You know?

Just sit on it in a fifth gear and try to get away from her.

She would have taken out her gun and got it.

Put it on my face or something, you know.

You should see her. All this shiny black leather boots and a holster.

The sun was gleaming off of the bike.

It was great.

That's it.

It's a woman in uniform.

Laid bare.

The magazine will love it.

Wow.

Why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself?

Well, my name is Rosie, Rosie Cheeks, and I'm proud to be a Coloradan.

I just turned 18, and my hobbies include all outdoor sports. I just love the

great outdoors.

I couldn't stand being cooped up in an office somewhere, wearing high heels and

dresses all day. It just isn't me.

I like the freedom of my job.

Well, how did you get into this type of work?

Well, I like the young, handsome guys I get to work with.

I like to watch them get down and work hard, pushing themselves against the

elements. I like to watch their rippling muscles and smell them sweat, their

suntanned bodies, and their dangling tools.

Well, yeah.

What about the uniform you have to wear? Well, there isn't much to it.

There isn't really a straight uniform, you know.

We have to wear these bright orange vests and hats, and we have to hold a

and go slow signs.

But besides that, we can wear jeans or shorts and sexy tops.

Yeah.

Well, I remember this one day.

I'd been stopped on the road, and God, I must have drifted off in so many

elegant fantasies.

The honking horns blew me out of my sweet reverie.

Well, anyway, my question is, do you think you turn on the motorists? And if

when you stop them on the road, do you think they have fantasies about you?

Oh, I sure hope so.

We are civil servants, you know.

We're paid by your tax dollars.

And it provides us keeping our roads in really good shape.

Oh, Rose, I can feel your extreme patriotism.

But don't you get bored?

I mean, don't you get bored doing the same job day after day?

No, we find ways to entertain ourselves on the road.

Oh, yeah? How?

Well, besides looking to see which motorists are picking their noses or

something, we do other things.

Let me tell you about what happened the other day.

There's this one worker.

He's really cute, so I think he likes me a lot.

He has an uncle that has a house real close to where we're working.

And one lunchtime, we decided to go off and had a great time.

Yeah, my uncle developed all this property back here. He made a killing in

too. That's great.

So we got the house.

Beautiful. That's fantastic.

I can't believe it's only a couple minutes from work. I know. It's really

convenient, isn't it? So much.

When's your uncle coming back?

He's not coming back for a week.

We have a week of lunchtime.

Yeah, we've got a week of lunchtime.

It's already now.

I'm going to go sit down.

Okay.

Good day.

Beautiful day.

That's the better one.

I guess I won't be needing any food.

No, I don't think so.

You might have some more.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah.

Well, we've got half an hour of what we deserve.

We don't need this.

No, honey, we only need one hard thing here. We need a hat.

Mm -mm.

Sure, I guess.

Mm -hmm.

Ooh,

you're building something now.

Sure.

It's called putting up an election.

You say women couldn't do a hard job.

That's so pretty.

You can lose this to her, baby. You could.

Oh.

Yeah.

Take as much as you want. I'm going to see you.

I'll see you.

Oh, yeah.

Okay.

Oh, that's nice.

Oh, my God.

Oh, yeah. Good.

Oh, God.

You look so young, huh?

Yeah? Yeah, this is hot stuff.

Oh, turn me on.

I want to get to work. You know what, though?

What? I think I owe you something.

Oh, equality like I said.

Yeah.

You know.

I don't mind if I go to work.

You can talk to them.

Well,

it'll be my lunch today.

I'll have something better to eat.

How about me on top?

Yeah, I just don't know what to try on.

Okay.

Now you're stuck on that.

Let's do that.

Oh, I think it fits.

Oh, right on camera.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh,

yeah.

I do it from behind. Yes, I like it that way. Help go to church.

Damn right.

it in your face bend over let me grab that oh

i

wish i could see

i'll tell you about it later okay it's a deal

oh it's fantastic

It likes yours.

uncle, but I'm so glad he went away.

Me too.

God damn.

Once will never be the

same.

ready to go back to work. What about you?

Yeah, I think I probably put up with it now.

I'm in a good mood now.

Go back with a deep smile on her face. That's right.

Couldn't even give me enough shit to piss me off.

Back to the old equipment, huh?

The real tools.

No, the secondary tools. Secondary.

Is she?

She's almost an hour late now.

You know, if I were a patient in need of attention, I'd hate to wait for a

bedpan right now.

You know, the nurse might be just the most obvious fantasy woman in the

I mean, I'm sure everybody's had like an encounter.

I know most men at least have had a fantasy about the nurse being like, you

know, the healer of the sick.

Angel of mercy. You know, like the Florence Nightingale.

I feel sick.

You feel sick? Why?

You're usually so up and perky for these projects.

Oh, is it the time of the month?

PMS or whatever you call it?

No, it's men.

You know, I just can't seem to concentrate on my work anymore.

I just can't distinguish love and lust anymore.

I always fall in love.

Penetration isn't love.

Who is it this time?

What makes him so special from the other ones?

He dominates me sexually, emotionally, spiritually.

It's terrific.

Bye.

I just got a call from the nurse.

She's on her way.

She'll be here any time. She had an urgent call.

She's just freshening up, and she'll be here very soon.

You know what? She sounds really hot on the phone.

Great.

Women in uniform, nurse.

Why don't you tell me a little bit about yourself?

Oh, well, my name is Joy Cream.

I'm 21.

I just graduated from nursing school.

I always dreamed of myself being a woman in white, carrying the sick and the

infirm and caring for the weak.

I like giving of myself. It makes life worthwhile.

I used to nurse puppies when I was a little girl.

Well, have you decided what kind of nurse you'd like to be?

That's easy.

I want to be a nurse and marry a doctor.

No, really.

I don't know what my specialty is going to be.

I think I want to have a little bit more experience before I make up my mind.

Well, I'm sure you'll get lots of experience.

And quickly.

Do you have any special attitudes?

Are you?

Haven't you looked at me closely, my beautiful?

Well...

What do you feel the uniform does for you that street clothes don't?

I think everybody has an affinity for women in white.

White's a color of purity.

It's virginal.

Brides wear white.

And nurses, well, we pour the milk of human compassion and kindness

into our uniforms.

You know, it comes with the territory.

Do you feel any different when you put on your uniform?

Like sexier and more giving?

Are you?

Something I'd like to share with you.

When I was in the hospital, I was an apprentice.

I was a patient.

Uh -huh.

Looked a bit like Click.

Not quite the same build, but definitely just as hot.

And how are we doing today, Jonathan?

We? I don't know how you're feeling, but I don't feel so hot.

Well, that's why you're here, isn't it?

Yeah, I think so.

I think we should take a look at your heart or listen to it anyhow. Do I have

fever? Let me see.

Why are you wearing a mask? Am I really that diseased? Well, you know, it's

important in recovery.

Let me see your face.

Oh, pretty.

Oh, thank you. Yours isn't half bad yourself.

I'm sweating.

Oh. Blow.

Maybe we should switch positions.

I feel a little bit better already.

Okay. Why don't you just lift up your gown here.

Really? Yeah, I need to listen to your heart. I don't know you that well.

Oh. You like guys with hairy chests?

I love hairy chests.

How about a jungle?

A jungle?

Jungle Joan.

Or in your case, a Jungle John. How am I doing?

Well, if you'll breathe deeply for me.

Give me a reason to breathe deep.

Well, Jonathan, it looks like you're starting to recover already.

Nice. You touch me like you know me.

Starting to recover just fine.

I'm going to live.

I think you're going to be able to live just fine.

Don't block that pretty face.

I'm feeling better already.

Are you?

Yeah.

You don't have to wear this mask, do you?

Oh, no. You were my last patient for the evening. I won't give you any diseases.

I know, I've got your charts. Oh, good.

See, sometimes we forget these things.

I want you to listen to my heart now.

Come here.

Are you against the idea of a nurse kissing a patient?

Um, not this one.

Is this against your morals?

Not for this one. Oh, good.

Oh.

You ought to hear my heart now.

Show me your body.

Nice little striptease for me.

A nice little striptease. Yeah, I might just hold my own here under the covers.

Ooh.

Oh, night.

Can we get in trouble for this?

I could always lock the door.

Fuck him.

Ooh.

Ooh.

Oh, that's night.

Want to play doctor?

Oh, your pulse is racing too now.

Hot.

Can you do that any faster?

Ooh.

Nice. Now, you call it here.

All right.

We start with a little nice little breath massage.

It's very good for you. I read about it.

What are you doing after this?

I've got an idea.

Yes. Yes.

Oh, give it to me.

Let me see what it is you've got to give me.

Oh.

I love it.

Yeah.

Yes. Oh, yes.

Oh,

yes. Give it to me. Oh, yes.

That's the point.

I'm the heckling.

I'm about to die and go out to heaven.

Ooh, my gel, I think I love you.

Oh,

you need to be excited.

Would you like to ride me?

I'd love to.

Let's pretend I'm a horse.

Let's pretend you're a horse. Yeah. Ride him, cowboy.

Yeah, let's do a trick.

Snap your finger.

Ooh. Ready?

Come on, baby.

Oh! Oh!

Oh, God.

Oh, God. Oh, God.

I think that was quite the...

breakfast at this place.

I'm never so good.

I'm just about ready for the shoot, aren't you?

You look good enough to eat in this light.

You really do.

You know, Cliff, I've been thinking.

I imagine that both men and women alike have fantasies about women in uniform.

They command respect and certain superiority.

So buttoned down, but yet you want to break through the buttons.

You know?

You mean like remove the outer skin and see what they're really made of?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I know what you mean.

Yeah, I've had that thing.

You know, I love the props you got and the images for the police woman.

It's going to be hot.

Thanks.

Why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself to start the interview?

Sure. Well, my name is Dee Coy. I'm 20.

I've been a motorcycle policewoman now for about a month, and I really love it.

It really gives me a sense of power, you know, when I'm in this uniform and I'm

riding that bike. It really makes me feel special.

Well, you look like you're special to me, whether or not you're wearing a

uniform or nothing at all.

But don't men pay the same amount of attention to you and your street

No.

I don't think so.

I think when I'm in my uniform like this, it's more like a fantasy.

I mean, I get to wear my badge and my gun.

It turns me on. And I think when I walk down the street, I get that same

response, you know?

Well, how do your fellow officers treat you, and how do you feel that the male

officers handle the fact that you're a beautiful and sensual woman in uniform?

They treat me with respect, I think.

I feel a woman in uniform, there's a real good feeling between people, and

really give you a lot of respect.

Except for... Except for what?

You can tell us.

Well, just between you and me, don't write this down, but you know what I

They're always trying to get me out of my uniform.

Right, okay.

Well, can you tell us the most outrageous, sexiest thing that ever

you since you began wearing your uniform?

Yeah.

Well, are you?

I came home from work one night, and I was working the late shift.

My boyfriend was waiting for me at home, but he had fallen asleep while I was

waiting, and I decided to play the role of a dominating policewoman.

I love making moves hotter, harder, and longer, and more satisfying than ever.

And now when my boyfriend begs me to wear my uniform every time we make a

Bye.

Huh?

After you came home, how old were you then?

A hot and dry... You had a heart attack?

Did you miss me?

Thank you

Oh, God.

that you get for waking me up.

If you get more, that's what you get.

Yeah.

Disgusting. Oh,

yeah.

Oh,

my damn good.

I feel a little relaxed right now.

I don't know how long I've been back here.

We'll be trying again later.

Good start.

Wow, you're really loaded down there.

Look at me buy.

This is a shooting stick.

Did you just buy these? Yeah.

What is it?

My boots.

My firefighter's uniform.

Oh, I guess it is, huh? Yeah.

Oh, they are brand new. Don't forget the tag. How much did you pay for these

things? 50 bucks.

Ah, they're heavy.

Yeah, there's my bib.

Oh, fantastic.

This is my jacket.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Great.

I'm a grade -A firefighter.

I bet you are.

Oh, and the little hat. My hat.

Oh, I like that hat.

That's great.

Okay, let me get my camera, and then make yourself comfortable.

Is there anything I can get you? No, thank you. Okay, I'll get the camera and

just... Okay.

Boy, this is going to be exciting.

Yeah, I think it will be. It will be.

I'm going to start off with a shot of you, you know, out of your, I mean, in

your just street clothes. Okay. Okay? All right.

Just give me a pretty smile.

Oh, that's great.

Yeah. Okay, now, yeah, start taking it off, you know, just like that.

Oh.

Oh, that's great.

Do you wear a brown uniform?

No, I don't. Well, you don't wear a brown one. Well, then take it off.

Fantastic. Yeah, that's what I want.

Let me see. Yeah, that's fantastic.

It's a shame that these uniforms are so bulky and you have such a beautiful

body, but I guess that would be sort of a hazard.

On duty, right?

Ball of men?

Oh, man. There we go.

All right.

Let's see.

Give me a real sexy pose.

I've got a great idea.

Let's see your hat.

I like this hat.

Cute.

Yeah, yeah, there we go.

Oh, yeah, fantastic.

Do that one again, do that one again.

Oh, wow.

So, wow, it looks great.

I'm going to give you real good stuff.

Wait. I need you to stop.

I need you to turn around.

Just with the hands.

I don't really want you to put it off. Put it on there.

While you're eating.

Okay.

I'll be singing you in five.

My skin's so wet.

Thank you.

I'm going to have to come and then I'm going to put it back in until it comes

out. It's okay.

Oh. Oh.

Why don't you tell us a little something about yourself?

What are you doing out of uniform?

Don't be so grumpy.

Come on.

There was an emergency, you know.

She had a fire to put out.

Fire's not out yet.

See what I mean?

Well, I feel cheated.

I was supposed to meet a woman in a uniform.

Well, she had her uniform on, but, you know, I can't.

We can't.

You know. Fuck? Would that be uniform on? Well, yeah. Yeah. You might say

Uh -huh.

Woman in uniform, fire woman.

So how did it feel to pose for erotic pictures with your uniform on?

I loved it.

Anything that a woman does that's tasteful and reveals her sexuality, it's

Sex is good.

You like it, huh?

Men and women stay healthy or having fantasies. I think it's great that

interviewing women in uniform.

It's hot.

It's too hot.

You're hot.

Come on.

Whoopi's so tired.

She's lovely, isn't she? Yeah.

She is very nice.

It's a lot nicer than the police one.

Oh, shit. You know, it's a $161 police ticket, you know? Mm -hmm. It's a

speeding ticket. I mean, Jesus.

There's nothing nice about that, is there?

No, not really.

Isn't that a beautiful sister?

Hmm?

But I've never taken care of you quite like this.

I've never taken care of you quite like this.

You're so tired.

You know what I mean? What?

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

Oh, my God.

and I'll do many more points.